Friday, January 9, 2015

The Indignity of Freezing Your Pants Yabbies Off: Afternoon Rides

First of all, there will be no quiz today.

It's only the ninth day of 2015 after all, and that's hardly enough time to build up a knowledge base sufficient to warrant quizzing.

Second of all, I've received the latest version of the Fly6 integrated tail light video camera, so let's talk about that instead:


The one on the left is the old one, and the one on the right is the new one.  As you can see, the new one is smaller.  Also, they've changed the location of the card slot and cable connection:


On the old one, all this stuff was located on the bottom where crap could fly into it, especially since that rubber plug never seemed to want to stay in place.  Also, on more than one occasion I'd go to turn off the camera, only to find that the card had ejected itself.  This may have had to do with gravity, or else maybe it was because the rubber plug was too close to the card.  So presumably that's why they've relocated all the orifices to the side, and it certainly seems like a better arrangement.

Anyway, I've had the new Fly6 for a couple months or so now, but to be perfectly honest I lost it immediately upon receipt.  (And when I say immediately, I mean immediately--like, I hadn't even opened the box yet.)  Then, a few days ago, I miraculously found it again.

Also, as you may know, here in New York City we're in sort of a complicated situation with the police.  The latest chapter in this saga is that they're now very angry at our mayor, Bill de Blasio.  Therefore, as a form of protest, they haven't been busting people for minor offenses--which, ironically, is backfiring on them because the city is arguably better off for it.  Not only is the overburdened court system experiencing some much-needed relief, but serious crimes remain down, which basically disproves this whole "broken windows" thing.

In fact, among the offenses the police allegedly have been ignoring is riding bicycles on the sidewalk, which until now would get you into more trouble than driving your car on the sidewalk and killing somebody.  (I wish I was kidding.)  This raises the fascinating question:

Does the NYPD hate de Blasio even more than they hate cyclists?

Given this, yesterday afternoon I figured maybe it was finally safe to ride my bike through Central Park, which I've been assiduously avoiding since a Fred on a time trial bike killed a pedestrian there back in September, prompting yet another in a series of police crackdowns.  What's more, I had this new Fly6 to try out, and a spin through park seemed like just the thing.  Unfortunately, it was only 17 degrees American, according to my dork-tacular wristwatch:


Nevertheless, I figured I might as well squeeze in a ride before the snow showed up the next day--which, according to my watch, was "FRU:"


After which the cold would apparently continue through SAI, and relent only slightly by SUT.

Plus, it's always warmer downtown anyway.

Of course, this is where all the people who live in Minnesota and ride fat bikes go on about how 17 degrees American ain't nothing and they don't even bother putting on knee warmers for that:


To which I say, "Hey, in New York City, 17 degrees passes as 'cold,' just like in Minnesota Garrison Keillor passes for 'culture.'"

It's all relative, you frostbitten rubes.

So I rolled out the old bicycle cycle and strapped on the old ass camera:


Owing to the voluminous saddle bag I didn't have enough seatpost real estate, so instead put it on the seat tube where it nestled in the seatstay crotch:


Not the optimal placement for affording a panoramic view, but better than nothing.

Here I am activating the Fly6 in perhaps the most disturbing image you'll see all month:


And here I am testing the NYPD's resolve:


"You see, the traffic light was not, strictly speaking, in my favor," the bike blogger admitted sheepishly.

Nevertheless, 14 police officers did not leap out of that van and arrest me.

Incredible.

Shortly after that I crossed the bridge onto the island of Manhattan:


Technically you're supposed to dismount your bike and walk over this bridge, which I'll do just as soon as they make drivers get out of their cars and push them across.  I can only assume the reason for this rule is that this is a lift bridge, and if you're palping skinny tires you're liable to get caught in the Maw of Death where the roadway opens:


Clearly though the Department of Transportation have not accounted for my awesome bike-handling skills.

Here's the intersection of Seaman and Cumming:


Here's a car with a dead battery, which is how you know it's cold:


Here I am passing the car with the dead battery:


And here's another car with what I'm assuming is also a dead battery:


Either that, or GM cars have reached the next level of killing their operators, and they've moved past the faulty ignition thing and are now simply eating their drivers:


(The dashboard displays a "check engine" light, tricking the driver into doing so, at which point the hood closes and the driver is consumed.)

Next, I dismounted and "portaged" my bicycle up the steps to the Hudson River Greenway:


The rule of thumb in New York City is that you should always avoid the greenway if there's been so much as a hint of snow or ice in the last week, because you've got a better chance of finding a salted margarita in a mosque than a salted bike lane in New York City.  For example, you may recall that last year I very nearly froze to death on a vast tundra of brie:


(The ill-fated Fred sled of Sir Ernest Schmuckington)

Furthermore, the other rule of thumb is that you should avoid the Hudson River Greenway when it's cold, unless you like headwinds and river-chilled blasts of air to the face.

Nevertheless, I disregarded both those rules, and instead pressed on in the spirit of journalism:


And sure enough there wasn't a grain of salt to be found:


Though there were some dogs wearing jackets:


As you approach the George Washington Bridge there's a steep section of path, and as I descended I worried I might hit a patch of ice:


Fortunately, despite the complete absence of salt I did not, and then I successfully passed through the tunnel:


And emerged to contemplate the awe-inspiring view that would make this scranus-freezing ride worth it:


Just kidding, I've seen this view a million times, big fucking deal.

Of course, as soon as I got south of the George Washington Bridge, guess what I found?


Salt!  Piles and piles of salt.  In fact, the further south I went the more salt there was:


Proving, I suppose, that the further uptown you get the less relevant you are, until you get north of the GW and vanish into total obscurity.

This is also the part of the bike path where the wind coming off the river makes you feel like you're getting smacked across the face with a frozen salmon:


Note that the path is completely white now:


There's an absolute shitload of salt at this point, so much that I would not advise attempting to ride over it without an $8,500 dedicated gravel bike, complete with dropper post:


("The Specialized Divest lives up to its name when it comes to divesting you of your savings, and the dropper post is ideal for riders who haven't yet mastered the principle of basic saddle height adjustment."--Bicycling)

Incredibly, even with my non-gravel-specific bicycle and primitive rigid seatpost, I managed to negotiate the salt, and soon emerged onto the surface roads, where I circumvented quite an impressive example of tractor-trailer double-parking by the Trader Joe's:


And where, contrary to the latest news reports, traffic enforcement agents were in fact writing parking tickets:


Yet another dead car battery:


Finally, I made it to Central Park:


See that?  I told you it's always warmer downtown!

Here are the great big pedestrian crossing signs they've erected since that tragic collision back in September, and they appear purpose-built to be crashed into by unwitting Freds and tridorks:


Races in Central Park should be interesting this spring--assuming bike racing in the park hasn't been banned by then.

Quite a few years ago now, when I was but a twenty-something, I worked briefly as the assistant to a filmmaker of some renown.  I hated it, mostly because I was not cut out for the world of film, which involves being yelled at 24 hours a day by everybody.  The filmmaker's office was near the bottom of Central Park, and sometimes at lunch I used to sneak off and eat lunch by the park loop, where I'd gaze longingly at the Freds who were lucky enough to take leisurely lunchtime spins through this urban landscaping masterpiece.  Now, I was one of those Freds on my own leisurely afternoon ride, and as always I thought about this as I passed the very spot where I used to pine:


Sadly, I couldn't appreciate any of it, because I was freezing my gonads off.

In fact, I contemplated another loop of the park, but by the time I reached the bottom of the downhill I was pretty much frozen solid:


So at the top of the park I left it and headed back home via the streets.  Here I am getting smoked by a guy on an e-bike:


It turns out you can go home again, though it may take you an hour or so to thaw.

121 comments:

RB1 said...

zoom

Alias Bob said...

Some motorists have been really annoying lately with the “hurry up wave”, especially when I’m a pedestrian. It is always the same: the 3 quick waves and the impatient look. I never hurry up. In fact I slow down; way down… They keep doing it though, so it must work with other pedestrians, so if you’re one of the people the scurry up for these jerks: could you stop hurrying up for them? Thanx.

hellbelly said...

Podiak!

Name said...

Openned at no comments.Posted under top 5...

Anonymous said...

What?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

actually today seemed almost summer like juxtaposed against the past two

Buffalo Bill said...

Long ride.
no quiz.

Fred said...

Cold riding is the best. Keep up the great work Snobby!!!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Another top ten finish.

Anonymous said...

top 10

Spokey said...

scranus

missed top deca

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

I am Friday!

vsk

dop said...

je suis fred


good to see the west side bikeway

Spokey said...

snobbie

i'm speechless. what an awesome gallery of v-break images.

i hereby withdraw my desire to switch back to cantis and will henceforth rever my avid single digit 7s.

JLRB said...

Cold riding sux.

How dare you shill for the Fly6, and why didn't you pick a fight with the E-beik guy?

Spokey said...

and wow

now i need a salt pile specific biek

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Noodle-view.

Anonymous said...

Someone wake the virgins - fresh martyrs coming their way

Bryan said...

The guy with the dogs had a look that said "I can't believe I just spotted the world's most famous bike blogger"
Thanks for the visual tour, I'm sure you are still thawing out, so go drink some coco or something.
Oh, some good news (sent this to you via twitter), That bishop who killed a cyclist is being charged

Anonymous said...

Happy Fruday!

Anonymous said...

Send the old Fly6 to Kenny.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game said...

Sunny at Yankee Stadium. Hilarious, considering how those old geezers play.

Anonymous said...

Toppus XXX?

clyde said...

Boy you complain about everything, snob. Here in the wonderful state of Oregon (I live south of the pedestrian capital of the world and north of the hippie capital)It will be 45 and sunny today.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Indeed, that section of path that goes from street level by the GW Bridge down to the river is very steep. I can climb it (thanks granny rings!) but descent freaks me out. I don't trust the brakes, crap on the path, peds, other cyclists ... and the presentation near the tunnel (the optics!) are such that you think you will easily ride off the path the jagged rocks below. In actuality, there is no rail and a few foot drop where you will bounce ... then hit the jagged rocks below. I am suprised there isn't more death and Mr. Mayhem there (redundance!).

I like the looks of the Fly 12 full frontal. I'll outfit with the cameras. My strap for my rear Knoglight broke. Planet bike Blinky to the rescue.

... who the fuck am I kidding, I have been living on the subway and "Spress bus for the past I don't know how long.

It does seem almost like beach weather today compared to the last cupla days.

vsk

What Me Worry said...

"...in Minnesota Garrison Keillor passes for 'culture."

In NYC Howard Stern passes for culture.

CommieCanuck said...

I always wondered who bought those watches... I guess you can't get Casio Calculator watches anymore. If it's any consolation, the guy who misspelled FRU and SAI and SUT is only making $300K a year and getting free fruit and handjobs in his San Francisco tech startup. Probably got raise for spelling outside the box.

ken e. said...

snob, perhaps you need a heated vest. got one for surfing a few seasons back, it's like having a toaster in your back pocket. though unfortunately it doesn't help your face. suggestions minnesota?

Anonymous said...

Riding in this weather, you do suffer for your art. And that memory card ejection thing - I suspect the camera is puking out your card after reviewing your input.

cycle

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks Bryan for posting that update. So nice to hear of the wheels of justice turning as they should. So yeah we now be patient like the attorney said and let it play out. Still not very fair even if the dirtbag spends a decade or two in the poke. She gets to continue living her life no matter how miserable it is.

Now several radical Muslim terrorists dead and soon to be pushing up daisies. And no quiz. This is turning out to be a pretty nice Fruday.



CommieCanuck said...

yeah.. today they find out the whole 72 virgins thing won't work out as planned.
The Great Lob just promises smoother shifting.

BamaPhred said...

I'm glad someone got a ride in. Any post that combines gonads and handjob is a hit in my book. Nice Yankee Stadium ref, no? Unlike the Atlanta Barfs who are working hard to be hitless in 2015.

JLRB said...

The tri-fecta of sadness

leaving the scene of a fatal accident;

driving under the influence

and causing an accident due to texting while driving

A fooking .22 BAC? AND texting?

bad-accent said...

Yeah, so New Yawwk,New Yaawkers, how does the whole "ticketing slowdown" thing work?

How would anyone know NYPD's ticket rates so quickly?
Does NYPD post their make-work ticket stats daily?

I find the way the NYPD's tantrum is reported fascinating. So much detailed knowledge so quickly about the daily work at the NYPD.

Fat biker without a fat bike said...

I spent time in Minnesota last winter in sub-zero weather and went to see Garrison Keillor. Alas, I did not ride a fat bike as I do not own one. However, I did drive the car that the bank owns. It is a Subaru of course.

noPay noPal said...

so aside you got the Fly6 for free, would you put out $250 for one if you had to buy it yourself?

grog said...

Awesome bike handling skills there.
RIDE COLD

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

"Here's the intersection of Seaman and Cumming"

never.
gets.
old.

Anonymous said...

I live a couple blocks from Central Park and have ridden there maybe twice in the past year (although I ride through it everyday to work), instead heading up north for less crowded areas and more scenery (loops around central park can get boring). you seem to be doing the opposite, perhaps I should reconsider the park?

p.s. nice watch.

il Pirata est Mort said...

Seems to get colder south of 14th St. when I do my rides to the Battery.

82medici said...

The corner of Seaman and Cumming is only one block away from the intersection of Seaman and Dykeman. Gotta love NY.

BikeSnobNYC said...

noPay noPal,

I wouldn't buy one for myself, no. But I enjoy playing with it.

Anonymous 2:24pm,

If I lived a couple blocks from Central Park I'd certainly ride there in the dead of winter when it's not such a clusterfuck.

--Wildcat Rock Machine



Olle Nilsson said...

Wow, talk about coincidence. I just happen to be curating a salt specific bike. The frame is made of salted fish and actually gets stronger in colder and saltier conditions. Stay tuned duders, it's just about to drop on the kickstarty thing.

Olle Nilsson said...

And that watch, that's just nasty. Who kludged that? I hope you at least have the BSNYC power meter app installed.

YOU SUCK
[blink]
YOU SUCK
[blink]
YOU SUCK

BikeSnobNYC said...

bieks,

My mother gave it to me so if my wife goes into labor while I'm riding I don't miss the call.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Old-timer said...

Salt? Salt? Oh yeah, I’ll probably sprinkle a little on my burger and fries while I’m having lunch…at a sidewalk cafe this afternoon. At a table with a shade umbrella, of course. This Central California Sun is, well, hot! No worries, guys. I’ll manage.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...certain imams have declared that a muslim may drink his margarita salted but ONLY if the salt used is NOT kosher.

...this is following a hadith (or a saying) of the prophet.

Joe K. said...

Snobie Wan,

Your assessment of the Fly6 is a wonderful assessment for significant others too. Wonderful to play with, not so great when you buy one.

Anyway.

The v-brakes make me remember my mid-to-late 90s hardtail with parallelogram Shimano XTs. What also made me nostalgic was this "new" offering from Sticky Finger (Stay classy fellas) http://www.sticky-finger.com/

Hurrah! Brake Lever grips! I haven't seen those for 15 years. What's old is new.

Then I saw this http://www.cranktip.com/clipless-racing-pedal/

Yeah, just what i always wanted, a pedal that makes my crankarm feel wobbly.

Seriously, bikes are the new marijuana. A gateway drug to construction (Thanks Denis Leary.)

Happy Friday, stay warm everyone who doesn't live in Florida and California. And to the people who live in Florida and California, well, You'll be dead soon, from either an earthquake or the fact that you're 85 years-old.

I am not a robot, I just play one on television.

streepo said...

I really appreciate a side orifice.

Scranus.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Rock Crusher, have a nice, cold weekend.

CommieCanuck said...

The corner of Seaman and Cumming is only one block away from the intersection of Seaman and Dykeman. Gotta love NY.

..and Athol, MA is only 1400 miles from Dildo Newfoundland, Gotta love North America. Sodom VT, is only a quick 83 miles to Athol.

CommieCanuck said...

My mother gave it to me so if my wife goes into labor while I'm riding I don't miss the call.

What? Again!? you are the Jens Voigt of cycling bloggers.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, 18 children??
I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while...
jeeesh!

BamaPhred said...

Wait, I missed something. Is there about to be an 18th offspring?

Bryan said...

You don't need just a gravel approved bike for salt and sand, you need a salt and sand approved bike. It is very similar to a gravel bike, except that the tires are a 32, fenders are mandatory (I see you have that covered, but not with industry approved fenders - sorry warranty), the headtube is taller to give a more upright riding position. The seatpost absolutely has to drop and we even have a sand and salt approved saddle.

Anonymous said...

Let's welcome the new kid!

Congratulations to you Snob, and your wife!

Anonymous said...

I was in Newfoundland and went well out of my way to see Dildo. Just a road with a few houses on either side. But there was a sign that said, "Dildo Days. Fun for the whole family!" Quite a festival. Assume it's BYOD.

Cipo's Sphincter Technician said...

Very expansive post today Snobbie. I'm telling you this as a friend dude. Step away from the meth life.

Cipo's Sphincter Technician said...

Anyone interested in investing in a chorizo edible dildo startup?

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

Wow, Snobbie, I like pics with the Fly6. I too just returned from my first ride with my totally useless GoPro Hero. Santa had it dropped unexpectedly down my flue on Christmas (did you know Santa is using a fleet of drones to make deliveries now?)
I just watched the virgin13 min of a quick short section of singletrack. It looks like a13 mintrack stand.
104

BigRedClydesdale said...

17F? That's practically shorts weather.

One of my rides this month was at -13F. Done on trails and closed roads where there is no salt or snow removal.

crosspalms said...

This week has been two days of "if it's too damn cold, take the bus," followed by three days of "if it's too damn cold and there's nothing to do at work, just stay home." Finished refurbishing the "free" snow bike (I think it's around $200 in new parts by now) and will take it out for a spin tomorrow if it actually gets into double F digits (right now it's 7F with a windchill of 12 below -- shoveling snow this morning was enough time in the great outdoors for me).

Best wishes to MomSnob and DadSnob whenever it happens!

Pontius Pilate Lite said...

LXIIth

Pontius Pilate Lite said...

LXIInd te errori

dop said...

welcome #18, whenever your ETA may be. (there probably won't be a quiz that week either.) We'll all think back to the days when he/she was just a gleam on his daddy's chainring.

(maybe he & she, aka twins)

Pathetic Old Cyclist said...

If the Reverend Heather Cooksucka does one tick of the clock in jail I'd be amazed

babble on said...

Congratulations to you and that lovely woman that was tricked into marrying you! Yay. The world needs more young cyclists...

When I first moved to Surrey in the the UK, I lived about a mile from a place named Blue Ball Lane. I kid you not.

People pay more than that for a Go Pro, and it doesn't double as a light. Our club's ride leader uses the Fly6, and his videos display speed, power and cadence, so that's a bonus. If you're into that kind of thing...

CrashPorn said...

This video is on the Fly 6 site Mr. Snob linked to. Clearly shows what could (repeat could) happen to a bike rider who
runs over sticks.
Like how high the bike goes. Also, fender and racks make this sort of thing more likely.

Anonymous said...

I think the 17 going on 18 children thing refers to 1 going on 2 human children, and 16 bikes, but i'm probably wrong...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Not unlike the Fly 6, I had my girlfriend's orifices moved to the side. Let me tell you, our spooning is now quite memorable, if you catch my drift, and I think that you do...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Also, quite surprised at the pregnancy announcement, Eben, as I was admiring not the watch, but rather the impressive wrist muscles you have developed from, how shall we say, "stroking the little Vito..."

Spokey said...

babs

you don't need to cross the pond. we gots a whole townie of blue balls. just traipse on over to Blue Ball, PA, usa. Not to be confused with Blue Bell, PA, usa toosa.

Blog Drafter said...

Not sure if Snob is announcing a sibling. Judging by the size of that watch I'd say it's circa last child.

Snob, if you would, is the video from the Fly6 of sufficient quality to ID cars/drivers/license plates? It seems pointless to buy one if it's not useful in an accident investigation/lawsuit scenario. I'm guessing you smush the stills for the blog. Seems a useful tool to have along (I tend to ride solo) but not if you can't actually use the video in court.

Olle Nilsson said...

Well, congratulations seems odd for these situations and just what you say in polite circles, so I'll just say condolences to Mrs Snob for the pain and suffering.

Anon 5:03, I think we came to the conclusion a while back that the 16 non-human children were cats.

dop said...

If you like sodomny, come visit Sodom NY that little stream beneath the East Branch Reservoir is open all-year-round for trout fishing

Anonymous said...

The comment about Mr. Keillor was too much. We don't have much to brag about here in MN and he's our hero. Cancel my subscription!

It's a state law that all Minnesotans must attend a Prairie Home show before age 18.

Spokey said...

woo-hoo

now bama & I can both have a drink

Anonymous said...

I ride to work in MPLS every day (10 miles one way) in a crosscheck with studded tyres. Winter specific bike?
Use a balaclava for yer face, yo!

Spanish Fly 7" said...

Babble uses the Fly6 and it's display of speed, power and cadence for making her porno videos.

JLRB said...

Dick
Tracy
Called
Wants
Watch
Back

McFly said...

I rode in the cold coldness with the backlalaclava this afternoon. Had to get outdoors. It was not bad. Had the park trail to myself. Only encountered one phone-absorbed non-road watching motorist. Not bad.

Freddy Murcks said...

I came for the sponsored quizway and stayed for the boobies. That's America for you.

I am not a robot, but I am slightly intoxicated. (it's almost 10:00 pm where I am at and I am nowhere near my car (I am also not drunkard Episcopalian priest), so I guess that my slightly drunk, non-robot status is okay)

Anonymous said...

http://peewee.com/2014/11/30/keep-face-warm-winter-hotlips-face-heater/

N/A said...

OH, does your post drop low,
toss your scranus to and fro?
Can you throw yabbies o'er your shoulder,
like a continental soldier?
Does your post drop low?


Wolf.

Anonymous said...

FLY SIX
HAI KU
PUS SY

Primus said...

Sailing the seas of Brie

BamaPhred said...

Ok, since McFly has assured me that Yabbies won't freeze off, I guess I will have to test the savage county backroads. Never fear, Waffle House is always near.

Spokey said...

screw this bieksickening crap. too cold. walking to the post office was a little better. even there i had to don my fleecy lined jeans before venturing out. if this isn't cold enough for the polar bears, fuck 'em, they deserve extinguishing.

AND RELEASED said...

NY Times today

"She was then taken to a police station, where she was given a breathalyzer test and released."

She blew a .22, legal limit in Maryland is .08

Justice is Blind said...

So David Petraeus gave secrets to his snatch on the side while serving as head of the CIA. And the Justice Dept MAY bring charges. Petraeus denies having given his Peta Todd sized rack and secrets. And so the Lance cycle begins.

Holy Roller said...

When I am presented with an ethically problematic situation I ask myself three questions;
What would Jesus do?
What would Muhammad do?
What would Chuck Norris do?
The answer is always the same, like Samson did in the Old Testament, pick up a jaw bone of an ass an slay everyone in sight. Amen

Olle Nilsson said...

Anyone up for some century action?

92 or sumpin'

leroy said...

Will ride lead out to century.

leroy said...

But be warned...

leroy said...

There will

leroy said...

be a test

leroy said...

to determine doping.

leroy said...

First one to the century podium, will be tested.

leroy said...

99 ....

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

100

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I like steak.

leroy said...

Congratulations rct! Please report to doping control for a short quiz.

Belated Faux Friday Fun Quiz
(Because My Dog Insists That Standards Must Be Maintained)

1. "Brain Damaged Man Complains That Citibikes Cause Brain Damage" reports New York's Paper of Record for the Cognitively Impaired.

A. True.
B. False.

2. Cannondale-Garmin rider reveals controversial weight loss secret. (Hint: it's not maple syrup.)

A. True.
B. False.

3. Investigative journalist live tweeting Ride Argyle team intro discovers bizarre culinary cult source of controversial Cannondale-Garmin weight loss secret. (Hint: it's TrueBS.)

A. True.
B. False.

4. Former Argyle rider committed to institution; sources say it's vast improvement.

A. True.
B. False.

5. This past week, Omnes Malifici really can Sugete Meos Testes

A. True.
B. False.

6. This past week, my dog's faith in humanity was restored by headline: "Father of Mountain Biking Takes Fatherhood Further."

A. True.
B. False.

7. My dog assures me that posing on the Brooklyn Bridge this week in only BSNYC cap and speedo makes me shoo-in for this year's Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition; frost bite is small price to pay to upend silly sexist stereotyping.

A. True.
B. It sounded reasonable when my dog explained it.

Ride safe all!

Spokey said...

congrats rct. been awhile for you. just wish i had gotten back here sooner to make it a contest.


leroy just give up or was he really leading out? i'll ask his dog over at twister. that'll get me the truth.

Spokey said...

Holy Roller @ 5:31 PM

When I am presented with an ethically problematic situation
      . . .
like Samson did in the Old Testament, pick up a jaw bone of an ass an slay everyone in sight. Amen

and what does mr milloy have to say about pinching his jawbone?

leroy said...

Ooops, answer to Question No. 7 should be this.

My dog distracted me with head butt in sprint.

Spokey said...

why is it not this?

Spokey said...

why is it not this?

Spokey said...

why am I stuttering?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Nice! Thanks Leroy passing score and free to ride another day.

Spokey said...

that's not what the mutt told me. he said you're making up this head butt crap.

and he also told me that he never lies.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

That's a great pic on the bridge Leroy.

leroy said...

Spokey -- You can't believe half the stuff he says.

And anyway, it makes no sense to ask someone if he wants to hear a good knock knock joke and then tell him: okay, you start.

Spokey said...

is the he never lies in the 1/2 I can believe or the 1/2 I can't believe?

Holy Roller said...

In the arsenal of weapons that we have at our disposal, what weapon would Jesus choose to slay the people that most piss us off. I think the Daisy Cutter ranks right up there with the most holy of death dealers. Amen.

dop said...

Fill in the blank: Whenever a cyclist begats a child, an angel _____'s his _______

Bob 'LOBster' Roll said...

So if The Lancer used HGH how come he didn't get any taller? Answer me that!

McFly said...

Totes overdressed for a LBL MTB Excursion today. Most layers and a jersey ended up in the back storage compartment of my Louis G jacket so I rolled on in comfort lookin Reverse Pregnant.

BamaPhred said...

DOP
Sharts
Shants

JLRB said...

,,,and that's how you build a fire

Unknown said...

Good Day !!

I am Hwa Jurong, a Reputable, Legitimate & an accredited money
Lender. I want to use this medium to inform you that i render reliable beneficiary
assistance as I'll be glad to offer you a loan at 2% interest rate to
reliable individuals.

Services Rendered include:

*Home Improvement
*Inventor Loans
*Car Loans
*Debt Consolidation Loan
*Line of Credit
*Second Loan
*Business Loans
*Personal Loans
*International Loans.

Please write back if interested.
Upon Response, you'll be mailed a Loan application form to fill. (No social
security and no credit check, 100% Guaranteed!) I Look forward permitting me to
be of service to you. You can contact me via e-mail: hwa_jurong@yahoo.com.sg or hwajurong12@gmail.com
Yours Sincerely,

Hwa Jurong(MD).

Unknown said...

chuyển phát nhanh tÆ°̀ việt nam tÆ¡́i tây ban nha
chuyển phát nhanh tÆ°̀ việt nam tÆ¡́i spain
chuyển tốc độ tÆ°̀ việt nam tÆ¡́i tây ban nha chi phí thấp
Bảng giá tiền phí ship hàng hóa tÆ°̀ Mỹ
thuốc giá bao nhiêu