Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I don't care to belong to any club that would have Fred as a member.

Remember how when Rapha clothing first came out it was fancy and exclusive, but thanks to their romantically "epic" marketing campaigns it got more and more popular, and now it's pretty much the standard uniform for the newbies and Freds who 10 or 15 years ago would have been wearing US Postal jerseys and half-shorts?  Well, Rapha know they need to retain that air of exclusivity lest they become the new Primal Wear.  But how to do this without alienating the Freds who make them successful enough to sponsor the dopers at Team Sky?

Easy--charge cyclists an annual fee to ride in their clothes:


Rapha, the luxury cycling clothing brand and kit supplier to Team Sky, will in January launch its most ambitious project — a global cycling club with an annual membership fee of £200.

But in a style more befitting an exclusive golf club than the traditionally egalitarian spirit of cycling, those applying for membership are warned: “In order to maintain the very highest levels of service, membership is limited. We regret that not all applications will be successful.”

The final question on the application form appears to be the deal-breaker, asking would-be members to define ‘the perfect ride’ in fewer than 100 words.

If you think about it this is really quite brilliant.  All of these "applicants" are obviously already Rapha customers, so why not cull the most devoted and/or brainwashed ones and ask them to pay more?  After all, they're going to buy the stuff either way.

I do feel bad for the Rapha employee who has to read all those essays, though.  Imagine having to wade through all that purple prose about "epic" rides--you know, self-indulgent crap like this.  Still, it's important that Rapha choose carefully, because the simple fact is that not everybody is worthy of receiving free coffee, which they can then drink while watching movies about coffee:

Members of Rapha CC will get complimentary coffee and priority invites to events at these venues. The Manchester clubhouse, for example, was last week advertising a screening of Brandon Loper’s superb A Film About Coffee.

So what's the difference between the Rapha cycling club and the My Starbucks Rewards™customer loyalty program?  Well, the writing requirement for one thing.  Also, Rapha will give you a "concierge" if you're visiting another city:

Members will also be able to hire top-end bikes from other clubhouses — in cities including New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo and Hong Kong — and make use of each club’s concierge, who will be armed with key contacts, local insider knowledge and be able to take you out on a local ride.

In other words, the "concierge" has a smartphone with Yelp and Strava on it.  Sorry, but I'm going to have to call foul on this, because it's clearly a rip-off of my popular "Rent-A-Fred" service, which I've been running for years:


("At your service, sir.")

I do smell a business opportunity here, though.  Hey, if people pay thousands of dollars to "prep" their kids for the private kindergarten application process, why wouldn't they do the same to get themselves into the Rapha cycling club?  So for only $1,000 I'll help you "curate" your essay.  Basically, what you want is to sound like Bill Strickland from "Bicycling," so just write a bunch of stuff about smells and hats and then I'll go back in and remove all the periods for you.

You're as good as in.

Also, don't be like this guy, who is the anti-Rapha:



Though it is in black and white.

Speaking of people who wear black clothing with bits of white accent in order to lend themselves an air of gravity, over the holidays Bishop Suffragan (whatever the fuck that means) Heather Elizabeth Cook killed a cyclist, framebuilder, and father in Baltimore:


Police are continuing to investigate the 2:40 p.m. Dec. 27 crash on the 5700 block of Roland Ave. Episcopal officials have identified the driver of the car as Bishop Suffragan Heather Elizabeth Cook, the second-ranking official in the Diocese of Maryland. Cook initially drove away from the scene but returned a short time later, according to the diocese and witnesses at the scene. Another bicyclist followed her to a gated apartment complex. No charges have been filed.

I'm shocked--shocked!--that somebody who earns her livelihood by promulgating a fairy tale is a sociopath and drunkard:

Before being elevated to a position as a high-ranking bishop, Cook was subjected to a background check regarding the drunken-driving incident, but church officials determined the incident shouldn't exclude her. Cook was also subjected to a psychological investigation at that time, according to the Episcopal Diocese of Maryland.

Seems sort of pointless to me to go through the trouble of a background check when whatever comes up is just going to get waved away under the auspices of this Christian "forgiveness" bullshit:

"One of the core values of the Christian faith is forgiveness. We cannot preach forgiveness without practicing forgiveness and offering people opportunity for redemption," the diocese said in a statement. "We, too, are all filled with questions for which there are still no answers, and we are all filled with anger, bitterness, pain and tears."

Really, "no answers?"  Seems pretty straightforward to me, she ran down a human being and left him to die.  I only wish there were such a thing as God, so Jesus could come back to Earth and bludgeon her to death with a crucifix.

And don't think I'm singling out the Christians here, because if she was a Rabbi I'd pray for her to be stoned to death with hot matzoh balls.

Lastly, Specialized have shrewdly come to the conclusion that you shmucks will buy absolutely anything, so they're now putting dropper posts on road bikes:


Hey, you bought Zertz inserts, you bought disc brakes on road bikes, and you bought the absurd concept of a "gravel bike" so why the hell not?

I asked Chris Wehan, product manager for the Diverge, what he thought the advantages of a dropper on a road-ish bike were. “By lowering the saddle, the rider can lower their center of gravity and hopefully descend better," he said. "With the seat only lowering 35mm, the rider can still use his or her legs to help control the bike. Another added benefit is that when a rider hits a bump, especially while descending, the saddle will not hit them in the butt and force more of their weight forward.”

Or you could just lower your saddle a bit if you do a lot of riding on rough terrain, but where's the fun in that?

Naturally, "Bicycling" is totally behind the idea:

I’m such a believer in dropper posts that it’s now hard for me to imagine riding a mountain bike without one, so I’m excited and curious to see how a dropper feels on a drop bar bike. Just guessing, I’d expect it to be pretty wonderful for cyclocross racing, sketchy gravel road riding, and some of the light singletrack riding that is so fun on a disc-equipped gravel or cross bike. For pure pavement riding, I’m not quite sure, though I would presume that for high-speed descents and aggressive cornering on pavement, a dropper would offer most of the same advantages it does off-road.

I really hope I never get to the point where I can't imagine riding a mountain bike without a dropper seatpost--even though they do sound absolutely wonderful, because nothing goes better together than "extreme unreliability" and offroad cycling:

The downside of droppers, besides weight, is their extreme unreliability. They have a lot going on in a confined space, and they’re subjected to a lot punishment from the constant bouncing of a rider’s mass. Problems range from excess play to bigger issues like hydraulic failures, air spring failures, and broken metal pieces—just a fact of life for most dropper-equipped mountain bikers. Reliability has been improving, but in general, it's a “not if, but when” question. Still, most mountain bikers I know are willing to put up with questionable reliability to enjoy the benefits of a dropper.

I'm guessing most mountain bikers he knows also work in the bicycle industry, so there may be a connection there.

And how about this so-called "Specialized Diverge Carbon DI2," which retails for a reasonable $8,500?


When the paved road stops the Diverge Carbon Di2 is just getting started. Whether it's a dirt road or navigating potholes on the road less traveled, the Diverge Carbon Di2 can handle it all. With hydraulic disc brakes, Shimano Ultegra Di2 drivetrain, and tuned frame and fork it's only limited by your imagination.

Really, you need all this crap to ride a bike on a dirt road or rough pavement?  "Uh-oh, a pothole!  Activate dropper post!"

I predict "dropper stems" within five years.

121 comments:

Aaron Tsuru said...

Fuck Rapha

Anonymous said...

Dawn patroll

dop said...

Bone Annie!

I can't leave it alone

dop said...

Suffragen Succatash

cervicalgia said...

I asked you this on twitter, re: Rapha, craobon bikes and epic rides - what do you call a female Fred?

leslie nielson said...

I call females women....and don't call me Fred

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Early in there without even trying!

vsk

le Correcteur said...

Damn! It's only 7:01 on the left coast!

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

I have a dropper head tube on my Cannondale. It's the Super Fatty Head Shok (with the Frankenstein guy on the decal on the side).

It's cool for like a few minutes, then the pressurization escapes (don't worry, I keep a pump for that). Then you just say like Fukkit, I'm locking it out. And it still kind of clunks over bumps etc.

I've seen pix of the car's windshield in the bishop's hit and run. How the Holy Hell fast was this person driving??? No stop? Too sad all around.

vsk

Anonymous said...

Hey snob - cut the woman a break. they are usually psychopaths, drunks and pedophiles.

cycle

babble on said...

Whaaaaat? I don't understand... you mean the seatpost suddenly drops out from under you as you ride and that's a GOOD thing?

OMG, I am so last century.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

apparently, your button needs to be pressed before your ass is engaged in any way....

...so it's a lot like life

Anonymous said...

Dropper seatposts on road bikes - that giant sucking sound you hear is:

a) the cycling industry trying to suck the last frigging dollar out of your wallet.

b) the cycling industry sucking the last bit of fun out of the sport

c) all of the above

balls™ said...

I find it hard to read this blog without a dropper seat post. I can't eat a burrito without one. I mean sure, it's really nice to have on my desk chair, but why would I want one on a bicycle?

Anonymous said...

You’re shilling from Brooks but you’re bashing Rapha???

Pretending you never had credibility isn’t the same as having credibility and losing it.

Anonymous said...

Toppus XX?

mikeweb said...

I used to work for a Rent-a-Fred outfit, then Mitch and Murray sent some hot shot from downtown (Put! The coffee! DOWN!).

He learned that nobody gets between me and my coffee.

Spokey said...

if i had anything interesting, useful, important to say, i wooda podied

crosspalms said...

I'll see if I can get J Peterman to write my Rapha essay. Then I can "hire" that Diverge Carbon Di2 from the clubhouse next time I'm in Tokyo or Manchester. Meanwhile, I'm replacing my seat post with a pogo stick.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 10:21am,

I like Rapha. I've done their "Gentlemen's Races." I've done events at their cycle clubs. People like you have accused me of "shilling" for them.

If you can't have a laugh over this new "cycle club" concept, well, good luck on your application.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

I don't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member, and I would resent the fact that a club would exclude me from membership. What's the word for that?
But I am curious about the tires on the Ritte Von Finklestein. No more Gatorskins? And how wide? I know, relentlessly annoying Fredism.
BamaPhred

BigRedClydesdale said...

One day I rode a bicycle in my pajamas. How the bike got inside my pajamas I'll never know.

samh said...

Huh... and I always thought it was spelled "dick breaks".

dnk said...

Don't look now, but cars crashing into restaurants in Brooklyn. It's not even a Dunkin' Donuts:

https://twitter.com/HenryPublic/status/552226368390701056/photo/1

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 10:36am,

They are Panaracer Paselas, I have been using them for awhile but you're only noticing now because these are new and shiny. I find the 28mm size works for pretty much everything so it's what I use most of the time now.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Spokey said...

What's the word for that?

Alex;

I'll take shizophrenic for $40

Kenny Banya said...

Female Fred = Wilma

Spokey said...

My 2002 americano came with paselas. a couple weeks old before i took it on a ride and flatted 3x in 40 miles. switched back to contis and i'm stayin there.

just thought i might start an early 2015 tire war.

Spokey said...

would have been wearing US Postal jerseys and half-shorts?

i know what a usps jersey is but what are half-shorts? need to know in case i was wearing them so i can be properly shamed. did ones pants yabbies swing in half-shorts? full aeration?

Anonymous said...

My office chair also has a dropper post. And it has an additional feature that allows for recumbent use. And also armrests...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spokey,

There's a wire bead version and a folding version with puncture resistant belt. I have no experience with former but only positive with latter,".

--Wildcat Etc.

Grump said...

Snobby, don't worry about that bishop. After she dies, Jesus will be waiting for her in heaven, with a gun.
.

JB said...

Trying to catch semi-professional bike bloggers in inconsistencies is a noble hobby.

JB said...

Anon @ 11:02: comment of the day, so far.

Comment deleted said...

Oh, it's the rider's "mass" that punishes the dropper post.

Anybody that buys one for a road bike needs a swift kick in the mass. So does the bishop, come to think of it.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Best 2015 Ever is off to great start.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Panracer stock suddenly jumps $2.43 to lead today's Wall Street gainers. Feds vow investigation into suspicious trading activity emanating from the northern regions of NYC.

Strange, huh?

Blog Drafter said...

Oh no, Fred, there's more on the horizon. It's only a matter of time before they convince you to buy a radar unit on the front linked to a dropper post receiver so that your ass height adjustments are done "seamlessly and on the fly". More breathless verbiage to follow...

I used to think that if I ever met Jesus I'd punch him in the face and ask, "what the fuck were you thinking!!!" but I must admit the image of him beating up a cardinal or two (thousand) has merit as well.

Bryan said...

I'm confused by the guy playing his guitar while riding his bike. Might be from the song I was listening to before it, then switching to that....art (I'm trying to be nice).
It does amaze me that the bishop wasn't arrested for leaving the scene of an accident. If she isn't going to get in trouble for killing someone, she should at least get in trouble for leaving the scene. If you hit another car and do that, you get in a lot of trouble.
The bike industry has to sucker people into spending money somehow. I sense that eventually they will all be making ebikes and telling the fat freds that they can now ride at the same speeds the pros do without all the training or any talent. It's coming

JLRB said...

Night time cold medicine to sleep - check.
Daytime cold medicine chaser to get to this desk - check.

That disgusting buzz leads me to declare a rarity - COD to BSNOB hisself @10:21 - good luck indeed.

pass the tissues

(ps - that buzz also makes it hard to get through the new multi-step robot sniffing guard dog)

VOR said...

Mr. Bike Snob, regarding dropping seat posts and road bikes that handle potholes, Portland has some interesting lawsuits going regarding unexpected obstacles on mountain bike racing courses (huh) and potholes both of which allegedly caused two women to crash. Interestingly, most of those who commented did not appear to be particularly sympathetic.

Brooks said...

There is a project in the works to serve as a tribute to Baltimore-area framebuilder, Tom Palermo, whose hit-and-run death you mention here. Framebuilder Chris Bishop is heading it up, trying to gather stories, memories, photos, and more relating to Palermo's work. There is also a fundraising campaign to help Tom's young children. Find out more on The Retrogrouch Blog: http://bikeretrogrouch.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-bicycling-community-pulls-together.html

Jesus said...

Blaming ME for organized religion's countless faults is like blaming Wladyslaw Szpilman for Roman Polanski's sex crimes

P. Bateman said...

My love for Mr. Nonplussed has grown to the point that i was going to jokingly suggest MR SNOBERson make an attempt to interview the actual model in the photo.

then i thought, well, i'll jump on wiki to see if there is enough info in the photo credit to actually track someone down. If there is, i didnt see it.

what i did see though were links to things like pantaloons, knickerbockers etc...and those links lead to more links to things like underpants and to my surprise there are some rather graphic photos featured there.

unless you love wang, i would stay way.

so, per usual, i learned a little something new from reading this highly informative blog. today's lesson - wow, some guys have it good.

Anonymous said...

Spokey, have you not heard? Half-shorts are ass-less so you can "click-in" to your dropper seat post. At least that's what my Specialized dealer told me as he took my 10 grand on the gravel Crabon DI2 equipped awesome gravel grinder and accessories. Strangely enough I heard enormous guffawing emanating from the shop as I left I wonder what that was about? And do I need a saddle for my seat post?

McFly said...

Period Removal sounds like a pretty handy talent.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

If you read the article about the hit and run death of Tom Palermo posted by Brooks @ 1150 you'll come across this

"While it is unclear so far as to what will be done by the legal system to seek justice for Tom's death..."

Based on history, at least in the NYC area, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for something to happen. Now if a politician had been hit while using a crosswalk, you would see the wheels of justice fly into action.

Unknown said...

But in a style more befitting an exclusive golf club...

that seems like triple Fred-ing.

VOR said...

Mr. Bike Snob, I watched a guy riding his bicycle and texting at the same time. He went down like a ton of bricks in the right turn lane of a local street. A friend of mine went over his handle bars while answering his cell phone. And who knows how many racing cyclists have crashed performing pre or post victory hand raising. Does guitar playing on a bicycle fall into that category of things to avoid?

CommieCanuck said...

"Forgiveness" is a bullshit Christian schtick that lets Catholic Priests bugger little boys and get promoted to Rome. Gun-toting fundamentalists act like self-centered manipulative assholes because in the lottery of which religion is the correct one, they get more tickets every Sunday in church and voting for Republicans (with Tea Party Power-ups).

Praise the Lob and pass the lemon wedges and clarified butter. I wear my plastic bib proudly.

CommieCanuck said...

"While it is unclear so far as to what will be done by the legal system to seek justice for Tom's death..."

Wearing lycra and riding in the cold can be very threatening to sanctimonious drunk people. She could have used the the "Stand yer Ground" defense in other states. However, Maryland still accepts the Chewbacca defense. Praise the Siths.

bad boy of the north said...

Rip mr.palermo..sympathies to your family and friends.

Freddy Murcks said...

I am waiting for dropper pants. I am sure that Bikecycling Magazine will be on top of that trend too.

JB said...

Except for lesbians (#blessedbylob), everyone loves wangs - or at least one of them.

Anonymous said...

sure you're not. how many motzoh ball bonks would it take compared to a crucifix bonks? why not a menorah bonk instead ?

leroy said...

Shameless product shilling or product shilling shanda?

My dog reports. You deride.

Product placement.

Anonymous said...

wake up on the wrong side of the dog this morning commie?

CommieCanuck said...

Dropper posts..Jebus Lob I'm old, I'm still trying to figure out why people insist on heavy suspension, or heavy fat bikes, or heavy fat bikes with heavier suspension.

Can fat bike tires ride over fragments of shattered paradigms? Don't they know you should avoid CATASTROPHIC failure of paradigms by not using crabon paradigms?

CommieCanuck said...

Anonymous said...

wake up on the wrong side of the dog this morning commie?


Nah, I think we should forgive her, until she kills another person, then forgive her again. But that's it.

Tom Palermo was 41, good thing he wasn't a fetus.

Anonymous said...

The sad fact is that nothing will happen to the woman who hit Tom Palermo. She's not only a senior ranking member of Baltimore clergy, she's also the daughter of the former head of the Baltimore Episcopal church. She's well connected and when you couple that with the public's general apathy, sadly this will be brushed under the rug.

Her prior drunk driving charges were magically (divinely? )dropped and so will this. Forgiveness obviously pays.

Disgraceful.

Greenbelt said...

Tom used to work/volunteer at my wife's bike shop.

Anonymous said...



ew!

Suffragan bishop
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A suffragan bishop is a bishop subordinate to a metropolitan bishop or diocesan bishop. They may be assigned to an area which does not have a cathedral of its own.

---

wle

Anonymous said...

How does the Di2 control the dropper post? nobody on Di2 wants to go back to mechanical adjusting

Uptown Biker said...

My perfect ride involves donning my Rouleur X VĂ©lobici Combativity Pullover, hiring a top-end bike from a Rapha club, and having my way with the club's concierge. Period.

Too many periods?

Matt said...

I thought you said Suffragette Bishop what with her being a chick and all.

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Drop Er Post ?

Why not just use a sprung saddle?

vsk

dop said...

so a town outside the metropolitan..w/o a cathedral etc that has a suffragat bishop is a suffregette city

Justice is BLIND wink wink said...

Anon 114: "The sad fact is that nothing will happen to the woman who hit Tom Palermo. She's not only a senior ranking member of Baltimore clergy, she's also the daughter of the former head of the Baltimore Episcopal church. She's well connected and when you couple that with the public's general apathy, sadly this will be brushed under the rug."

And she lives in a "gated community" too. Bound to get off, no doubt about it.

CommieCanuck said...

Tom used to work/volunteer at my wife's bike shop.

Tom is any one of us.

ken e. said...

chanting something about coffee...

ken e. said...

and more seriously, seconding commie's comment. WTF car culture?

CommieCanuck said...

3,000 people die in 9/11 and the whole world bends over at the airports to get on a plane and some guy at the NSA is reading this (hi!). 40,000 people have since died in car "accidents", and everyone is cool with that.
Al qaeda went about it all wrong with planes, they should have just bought a bunch of Dodge Caravans and mowed down people on sidewalks and bikes, we would have caught on in 20 or 30 years.

Dooth said...

You have to be a dick to be a Rapha member.

Spokey said...

You have to be a dick to be a Rapha member.

that's sexist. i mean really. you sure they don't have a women's auxiliary?

McFly said...

I don't even know where to get 200 of the backward lower case f's.


I'm out.

golf_clap said...

That Rafa thing is brilliant. They are going to throw a few quid at a local bike bum and insist he/she appear in Rapha clothes that must be paid for, but the bike bum cannot afford.

Golf clap for Rapha.

golf_clap said...

I believe the female equivalent of a male Rapha club member would start with a C followed by a U and end in NT.

Dropper posts on road bieks will sell. For sure.

Just like the way OEM's finally packaged flat bar road bieks. (finally!) It only took decades of shops doing the conversions themselves before the bike brands caught on.

I wonder what Sinyard's patent trolls will use to sue small businesses out of putting dropper posts in road bieks at the shop.

janinedm said...

Bryan, there is a guy with a sort of sneaky e-bike. Instead of it sitting like a big square tumor on the seat tube, it lies across the top tube looking like unusual storage. Anyway, once I caught him (it was a trick of red lights, I'm not e-bike fast). I turned to him and using my Black privilege (the right to use the n-word), I said "is that an e-bike? n---a kill yourself." Best part: it was a bald white guy. Dude looks like Hank from breaking bad and has the nerve to wear cycling jerseys on an e-bike. It's unseemly. Course, I haven't seen him lately. It's too cold to be out here not pedaling.

CommieCanuck said...

I believe the female equivalent of a male Rapha club member would start with a C followed by a U and end in NT.

Count? I knew that's were vampires were hiding out.

Dooth said...

Ok ...you have to be a dick or dickless to be a Rapha member.

Ven Diagram said...

"...you have to be a dick or dickless to be a Rapha member."

Is that not everyone?

Captain Oblivious said...

Is that not everyone?

It depends on whether it is an inclusive or exclusive or. If exclusive, then hermaphrodites are not in that cohort.

Freddy Murcks said...

I have a quick release on my pants. All I do is loosen the belt (if I happen to be wearing one) undo the button and "BAM" quick drop pants. It would be nice if I could have a cable actuated system that would speed the lowering and raising of the pants, but the quick release system is working pretty well in the meantime.

JLRB said...

All members should be beaten by the club

hammer dog said...

Remember Joe Breeze's "Hite Rite" circa 1982? It was the original dropper. Most riders found out if you just threw your ass behind the seat a little then you could change your center of gravity going down instead of adding another 4 ounces of steel.

caPt scrAnus said...

scranus

Old-timer said...

Two cyclists walk into a bar (klackety, klackety). One is wearing a BSNYC Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! “Flaming 46” jersey, Pinocchio shorts, and cap. (No helmet). The other is wearing a High-Dollar, Exclusive, Members-Only RAPHA kit, and wearing a “Welcome-To-Planet-Earth” helmet. The grizzled bartender (his name: A. Fred Strava), looks them up and down and says…

babble on said...

Commeie@ 2:50 - ++ !! It's not exactly funny, but it's oh so painfully true. Comment of the Year. The decade. The century...

JB said...

How cool will I be at the first warm spring day shop ride with my 1x, dick break, dropper post road bike? Full Team Sky kit, of course. The coolness will hopefully make up for me pushing the bike up hills greater than 5%.

Ze bavarian said...

"they will all be making ebikes and telling the fat freds that they can now ride at the same speeds the pros do without all the training or any talent. It's coming"

Actually, it´s already on the market. Yes, you can now get yourself the infamous GrĂ¼ber Assist!

Here

Anonymous said...

This woman needs to meet the Snob. Too bad he's taken: http://personals.thestranger.com/gyrobase/Adult/Profile?person=oid%3A3498291

Anonymous said...

BSNYC@10:33

I'm willing to bet no one like me has ever accused you of anything.

I enjoy your posts as an outsider to the excesses and ridiculousness of the cyling culture. Keep the faith, brother.

Anonymous said...

I have a pimple in a weird place where I have never had one before. Sadly my succotash is suffrage. I'm not a robot.

tubasti said...

Rapha just jumped the shark.

BamaPhred said...

Rapha getting you down? Specialized rubbing you the wrong way? Here is an "Internet of things" to help relieve some of that tension. Reach out and touch someone indeed!

Spokey said...

Reach out and touch someone indeed!
really?
They live in New Hampshire with their two children and their goldendoodle

i live here in snobbie's hemorrhoids, have running water (when the well pump works), modern sewer treatment (when the septic pump works) and get to have my goldennoodle too. That and tonight's wind chill is only going down to -15 in mericum decrees. Up there they can't even keep the old man on the mountain.

Spokey said...

can i

Spokey said...

possibly sneak

Spokey said...

the first

Spokey said...

2015 century

Fender Bender said...

VOR @ 12:21. Don't worry, Guitar playing on a bicycle is nothing to fret about.

Checkmate said...

Don't pawn the mishap on the Bishop. It was knight and she was trying to get back to her castle.

Holy Roller said...

I have seen some trash talking about Jesus and the people who have been blessed by the Holy Spirit to tell the commoner what is good for them. Just remember, the Lord works in mysterious ways and what you don't understand you should just take on faith. It was God's will that what happened, has happened. Those who question will burn in Hellfire for eternity and no doubt suffer from more pinch flats than the more pious riders.

voigt komp said...

congrats spokey...I think this blog just jumped the snark

1786...it's none of your fucking business if I'm a robot. Though I am a replicant

dop said...

so if you pay raphe money, you get to buy stuff? sounds like the deal with tom sawyer & the fence

Tight Wad said...

I will buy Rapha as soon as Nashbar carries it

Fnarf said...

The perfect ride is your sister.

Anonymous said...

The rockcrusher is back! Life feels normal again.

The perfect Special Ed for that special Fred, or perhaps next year's version actually will be upgraded with the innovation of Zerts integrated into the dropper post, along with 140 mm dropouts for a more stable back end, since the dropper post increases the gnar factor.

I'm guessing the bishop wouldn't have returned to the scene had another cyclist not followed her home to her gated community.

McFly said...

Does one employ a dropper post when jumping the shark?

Take a picture of the B17 coupled with a dropper post and send it to Brooks. Extort them for 10,000 backward lower case f's to not post it on the blog. If they dont bite send them like one rivet in an envelop to show you mean business AND YOUR NOT JUST SOME PSYCHO.

The Future said...

even walking Freds will be motorized

ce said...

Holy crap balls, DON'T DO IT! Can you imagine McFly?

Surely not without hesitation, but I have no doubt, using bolt cutters if the location of the key was long forgotten, they will release Eric from the chains.

For the first time in fact, since the terrible Brooks factory "occupational accident" of 1986, The Chamferer would be allowed to set foot away from his work station. Like an animal from a zoo being released back in to the wild, perhaps? No, no animal could be so cruel as this man.

Eric would hunt Snobbo. Relentlessly, like back in the old days with the energy of youth, before the fur trade dried up and the last trap was set.

Artic Fox, Sable, Sea Otter and Stoat. Beaver, Bear, Possum and Skunk. But strangely, never before Wildcat.

Hard to say for sure how well Wildcat will stretch across a saddle, but it would have to be better than that bloody (well, bloodless) Cambium! Eric never could get excited about Cambium.

Peter G said...

Brilliant post, the extended break seems to have re energized your surly nature.
Personally, I would jump at the chance to pony up a couple of bills for the privilege of purchasing from Rapha. Similar to spending thousands for a license to spend thousands buying season tickets to watch the Jets suck.
I wober if Rapha would accept a fat fucker like me.? I hope we don't have to enclose a picture!

Eric said...

I will tie you to my chamfering table and show you how to use a telescoping dropper post proper, mate.

Anonymous said...

"Several times I tried to take his pulse, but I couldn't find any response. … He was hit hard. Both wheels on his bike were knocked off and severely out of round," Moncure Lyon, 65, of Baltimore who said he found Palermo lying in the street in a semi-fetal position with his head on the curb, according to The Associated Press.

Acting on eyewitness accounts, Lyon said he went looking for the car that hit the doting dad and found it.
"The windshield was completely smashed in, with a hole on the passenger side, and from the damage of the car, there was no doubt in my mind that was the car," said Lyon.

"I asked the lady who was driving, 'Are you all right?' Then the light turned green, she said 'Yes,' and she left," he added.

h lechter said...

I chamfered him over a bed of fava beans....with a dry Key-ante

Mr. H said...

Your Snobness:
As a Baltimoron, I must append a note to your "coverage" of the bishop/cyclist crash. The archdicese was not talking about forgiveness in the context of the crash, they were excusing themselves for making her a bishop after she was arrested in 2010 FOR TESTING .27 IN A BREATHALYZER TEST after a traffic stop. 0.27. That's blind, stumbling drunk. Oh yeah, she also had MARIJUANA PARAPHERNALIA IN HER CAR. That's some forgiveness.
Just wanted to set the record straight.
Baltodave

Anonymous said...

Nibbles glided over the cobbles last July using a dropper post. This is no humbug.

Brooks said...

Shocking as it may seem, manslaughter charges were filed against Bishop Heather Cook in the death of Tom Palermo. Reports confirm she was drunk (she blew 0.22 BAC) and allegedly texting when she hit Palermo. Read more at Retrogrouch: http://bikeretrogrouch.blogspot.com/2015/01/charges-filed-in-tom-palermo-case.html

Selina Dorsey said...

I ordered these cycling bike pants from Bizarkdeal for my brother who is an avid bicyclist! They fit great, he said they are super comfortable, and the best part is they are quick to dry, unlike some other cycling suits he has tried! Highly recommend these!

Anonymous said...

So can anybody help with my Rapha RCC application? For my essay I wrote that my perfect day of cycling would be to eat a bunch of asparagus and then go for a four hour ride, at the end of which I find a bunch of Rapha executives tied to a tree with their jaws held open with those plastic thingies they have at the dentist... And I just relieve myself into their mouths. I've been rejected like twice... I don't understand... I went into more detail the second time, like how their eyes would be watering from the stench of the asparagus piss, and they'd be gagging and vomiting all over their bibs that cost as much as some people's bikes, but that didn't seem to help...

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