Friday, January 30, 2015

BSNYC Friday (No) Fun (No) Quiz!

Let's talk menses.


On numerous occasions I've mentioned Sustainable Cycles, and here's what they're about:

Sustainable Cycles works to catalyze a grassroots, person-to-person revolution away from single-use, disposable menstrual products to reusable, sustainable options.   We want as many women to make the switch as possible, and for users to become advocates – “spokeswomen” – in their communities.  We see our work as a feminist, social, and environmental justice project.

Now I'm going to put this in bicycle terms for you.  You know how when you keep trashing headset bearings and after awhile you just say "Screw it" and buy a Chris King, and voilà, you don't have to futz with your headset anymore?  Well, it's the same with menstrual products.  Why keep flushing tampons down the terlet when you can get yourself a top-quality reusable menstrual cup?


Just don't mistake it for one of those eye bath things, because eeew.

(It's perfectly fine to use them for tequila shots though, owing to the antiseptic properties of the liquor.)

So Sustainable Cycles is embarking upon a cross-country bicycle trip to promote their cause, which is sensible menses curation:



And so they're passing the hat (or, more accurately, the cup) around for donations:



So why am I, a male (genetically at least), so enthusiastic about this?  Well, here's why:

1) I spent a lot of time on the beach as a child.  In fact, you could even say I grew up on the beach, which is why I have to go to the dermatologist every six months now and get dysplastic nevi cut out of me.  Anyway, when I used to play in the sand I'd always find these plastic tube things which I'd pretend were boats, pipes, telescopes, or what have you.  "How convenient that the beach is strewn with toys!," I used to think, and it wasn't until many years later that I realized they were tampon applicators.  Sure, I suppose those tampon applicators sparked my imagination and made me who I am today, but I also think my children should be spared the indignity of having to play with feminine hygiene products;

2) I've had it up to here [indicates top of head] with all these fundraising campaigns for bullshit like this, nor do I care about the latest SRAM wireless electronic shifting group or some overpriced plastic "gravel" bike designed by the legal legal department at Specialized, and I especially don't care about stuff like raising money for junior bike racers to compete, since encouraging kids to race bikes is about as productive as locking them in their rooms with a bong and a Monster Magnet record.  This, however, is a worthy cause;

3) The whole menstrual cup thing just makes sense to me.  After all, you don't drink out of paper cups at home, do you?  Of course not!  You use washable glasses.  So why should menstruating be any different?  It's just common sense!  Basically, menstrual cups are the same as drinking glasses, except instead of drinking from them you stick them in you vagina.

I rest my case.

Meanwhile, in non-menstrual news, a New York City cyclist is fighting a ticket for riding on a marked bike path in Central Park:


Back in November, a cyclist riding on the 96th Street path in Central Park was pulled over by a police officer wearing a bike helmet. The cyclist’s offense: riding on the 96th Street path, which was designated as a shared bike and pedestrian path in 2012. The officer issued a criminal court summons for disobeying a sign, next to a sign that clearly marked the path as open to bicycles.

Criminal court summons for doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing on a bicycle?  That sounds about right.  Police have been cracking down on cyclists ever since a pedestrian was killed there last fall.  There is a silver lining in the crackdown though, which is this:

“I know several large tri clubs have completely left the park as of late October, and they’re looking for alternatives for completely riding indoors next year, even during the summer,” said Mikael Hanson of the Asphalt Green Triathlon Club.

Triathletes relegating themselves to the indoors all year round?!?  That's almost too good to be true!  Maybe there is a God after all.  High five, God!


("Don't mention it.")

If I were mayor I would fully subsidize any triathlon club who promised to ride exclusively indoors--where the worst they can do is this:



I'm not sure if he's actually a triathlete, but he does have aerobars and a Gran Fondo New York jersey, which is basically the same thing.

Not only would I subsidize these clubs, but I'd also buy each rider a $17,000 Eddy Merckx limited edition bicycle:


Eddy Merckx Cycles, the eponymous brand of arguably the world's greatest cyclist, is returning to its roots with steel racing bikes. The first batch will be a limited-edition run of EDDY70 machines. Sold online for US$17,500 / €14,000 a piece, there will by 70 numbered EDDY70 bikes, of which the man himself will get number one. But these aren't just retro bikes, the company insists.

What better way to say "Happy Birthday" to the cyclist who only got caught doping three times than by giving him a fuckload of money for one of his bicycles?


It's easy, too!  In fact, it's eerily like choosing a seat on a Jet Blue flight:


I'd have bought one myself, but unfortunately my preferred number was taken:


And I'm pretty certain I know who ordered it.  Here are a three hints:

--He's a retired sprinter;
--He rides shirtless;
--He's unwittingly ingested dozens of menstrual cups.

Give up?

It's this guy:



He's as classy as they come.

Lastly, before I go, I'm sorry for not administering a quiz, so by way of an apology here's some more triathlete crash porn:


Don't mention it.


115 comments:

groanhammer said...

buttercups and nuts

babble on said...

Goooooood afternoon, Snobbielaaaaaaand!

Anonymous said...

3rd?

Vernal Magina said...

hells yeah.

Old-timer said...

A ha! Relevance!!!

Paul Kirby said...

Top 10!

babble on said...

Er, so those cups have been around for decades. And they work a charm, too. The only drawback to them is the cleaning, because you need to make sure that they are sterilized so that you don't end up with toxic shock syndrome. But modern men like you guys wouldn't object to finding a cup or two in the dishwasher, right?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten on a late post?

Anonymous said...

What caused that tridork to crash? Did he hit a shadow?

Cipollini Bikecycles said...

Eating pussy.

JB said...

That was me.

McFly said...

Does it double as a SCR(Shart Containment Receptacle)?

dop said...

podo kisses for babble

Anonymous said...

Lucky 13!

babble on said...

Thanks, dop. I love kisses. :)

James said...

SXTY NINE
EATP USSY
MRIO CIPO

TriBikesPutRider'sWeightTooFarForward said...

"What caused that tridork to crash? Did he hit a shadow?"

+1. I don't have sound on my computer here at work. Does we say anything about why he crashed?

Also right at the end of the video, there is that a vintage Raleigh Sports step thru on the sidewalk?

ce said...

It would be twice as sustainable if they promoted the practice of "two girls, one cup".

P.S. Belated congratulations to you Snobbo on your acquisition of a spare kid. It's still a good idea to always carry bandaid patches though - in my experience it's not totally uncommon for both kids to get punctured during a single outing.

dop said...

I love the subterranean homesick blues video, both the dylan version and the weird al version

I wouldn't call those aerobars on the rlloer mishap clip. I've had chunks of corn in my crap that were were bigger than those aerobars

JB said...

The tri crash guy apparently crashed after rolling over that longitudinal crack in the asphalt.

Freddy Murcks said...

Restricting tryathletes(tm) to riding is likely to improve their bike* handling skills.


*Replace the word "bike" with the word "cock" and that sentence makes more sense.

Freddy Murcks said...

I am going to try that again:

Restricting tryathletes(tm) to riding indoors is likely to improve their bike* handling skills.


*Replace the word "bike" with the word "cock" and that sentence makes more sense.

wle said...

why is it that the word ''classy'', well, basically, isn't 'classy'?

wle

forks said...

encouraging kids to race bikes is about as productive as locking them in their rooms with a bong and a Monster Magnet record

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Go ride bikes for fun. And stay off my lawn!!!

Anonymous said...

Prince Charles once expressed his desire to be a tampon and now Snobby dedicates a goodly portion of his blog to matters menstrual.

It's laudable two prominent, stridently masculine men can discuss intimate girly issues with such maturity.

I still giggle whenever I see one of those saddles with a slit down the middle; "that's for girls to wee through", I chortle.

I'd like to thank Snobby for helping me grow as a man.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I don't think it a fair comparison at all. That cup is not precision CNC machined aluminium alloy and anodized in a choice of colors at all. It looks like a plastic disposable piece of crap.

PotbellyJoe said...

I like the looks of the Eddy bike. But even if I were going crazy and building a ridiculous bike like that, a Cinelli XCR is considerably cheaper and doesn't have a three-time doper on the frame, just a dope on the seat.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I have a Monster Magnet album in my collection. It's called Dopes to Infinity. Which would also be a good title for a pro cycling documentary.

balls™ said...

It's amazing how watching someone crash a bike is so much funnier than getting kicked in the balls.

bad boy of the north said...

say no to crack!today's re-issue of our friend riding(?) inside still makes me laugh.doesn't look like he has too much of a boo boo.
on the other hand...the one from yesterday,the self-strangulator...yikes!

DB said...

As I walked to the indoor pool today for an epic swim, I passed the fitness center where a guy was trying to balance himself on the inflatable ball doing sit-ups.
I had to laugh.

McFly said...


Does it triple as a SLC(Second Lame Comment)?

Mr. Stick to the Subject said...

Friday Fun Substitute Quiz:
1) The Snob should not post about menses.
--Yes.
--Yes

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:30pm,

He appears to have found the one portion of the street where the pavement was cracked and ridden right into it.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Flyover BC said...

Indoor triathlon is a great idea.
The bike portion could be ridden on a velodrome, a least once.

Just imagine the crashes. No one would be safe.

The winner would be among the survivors of the bike ride.

Mr. Stick to the Subject said...

Also, I read yesterday's post an then the comments before viewing the videos. Thank all of you that posted warnings not to watch the last vid on yesterday's post.

P. Bateman said...

funny you should write about the menses. me and my main gal were getting with the busy this morning and it turns out that her little visitor had come to visit.

i was super happy about it too because even though the bedroom looked like that one scene in nightmare in elm street or a CSI miami episode and i'm gonna need some new sheets/oxiclean, it meant that i would not have to pony up the $500 to take care of junior.

so that is just monies in the bank right there which i think i'll blow on some blow.

so there is that.

safe riding gang. have a great weekend.

Anonymous said...

When you do the math the reusable minstrel cups seem like a pretty good idea, albeit disgusting.

bieks said...

Tri Guy either crashed because

a) his cadence got to high because he wasn't shifting
b) he panicked because he didn't know what to do about his high cadence
c) he panicked because he realized he needed to shift
d) all of the above

Oh, and hands up who else reads this while eating on their lunch break?
First time was informative, but useless and TMI. This time? Ew, gross.

Anonymous said...

It's all a RUSE! the baggy orange jumpsuit the "tri-dork" is wearing gives it away. That's Steevil on a stolen aerobar-bike; crashing no doubt due to the beer hand-ups that inspired him to steal the bike in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Three time doper? I only know about one infraction. God dammit wildcat, must you shit on all of our heroes?

Anonymous said...

Babble,

Might I be so bold to suggest that you change your profile picture? Still hot, but doesn't do you justice.

Anonymous said...

What the hell was that triathlete wearing for pants? They were bright orange and baggy as heck, by the glimpse we get, surely that had something to do with the crash. Otherwise, what else happened?

I was hoping that it would have been the rider ahead of him that crashed, because the camera view was like the aero bars were rocket launchers, (or pea shooters), and he was picking off opponents as they came within his sights.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. BSNYC --

I thought you said Mensa.

I don't mean to brag, but my dog got us Mensa memberships at a 50% cash discount because the two of us joined at the same time.

Well of course I gave him the money so he could sign up both of us.

Fun fact: Mensa membership IDs are handwritten in crayon on cardstock.

bieks said...

Ooh, missed the orange pants. I'd guess this is the real version of the Escape from Alcatraz race, and they ran out of tridork disguises by the time he started.

leroy said...

And ride safe all!

I am advised that there is a weather alert for tomorrow advising against attempts to ride one's tauntaun toward the first marker.

Buffalo Bill said...

Re: the orange pants -That looks like a bystander (course marshal?) who came to help. At :22 you can see bare knees hitting the road.

So, not a hoax. Color me surprised.

Twob Rake said...

The orange boiler suit is on the "marshall" that helps him up.
What is that rattling sound that expensive bikes make? Bikes should be SILENT!!!

dop said...

On today's trifall, the rider pulled out of at least one shoe when he fell. (You can see the oscillating shadow of the shoe, still clipped in, immediately post-crash). This is much better than that guy who crashed at the start of his bike leg in Wednesday's iroman video. (far short of the 112 miles he expected to cover)That rider stayed clipped in until after he belted the pavement with his shoulder.

Just Sayin' said...

There is also that ten year period in which he ruined the careers of anyone he saw as a threat, lied about drug use at every opportunity, set up and controlled a massive cheating operation spanning many years and various teams, sued everyone he perceived as an enemy, and so on. Not to mention the macabre origins of the name "Cannibal". You know, all the stuff the Lance haters don't like to talk about.

Anonymous said...

OBLIGATORY:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppuMaQ4hZE4

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:14pm,

I had not seen that, thank you!

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Just the Facts said...

” …sued everyone he perceived as an enemy…”
” …he ruined the careers of anyone he saw as a threat…”
” … set up and controlled a massive cheating operation …”

What is you evidence of any of the above?

… the macabre origins of the name "Cannibal"…

The origin is he ate into the lead of the riders in front of him at the end of races. Not sure why this is macabre.

Twob Rake said...

Some ladies trythlete action here, much mayhem...
http://youtu.be/NRKajY5GlyI?t=27s

Unknown said...

Its official, Strava has jumped the shark.

https://gma.yahoo.com/man-runs-8-miles-shape-hire-job-210441691--abc-news-health.html

Flyover BC said...

Leroi,

Mensa means stupid in Spanish. On the plus side, the membership test is really easy.

wishiwasmerckx said...

RCT: I do not have a hoo-ha, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want CNC machined anodized aluminum all up in it, regardless of colorway...

dop said...

I think my dog and I may have the mensa required IQ (combined)

Uzzi said...

Is that try athlete wearing orange pants? No one should ever crash when wearing safety pants.

Miguel In-you-ran said...

"Mensa means stupid in Spanish."

Es verde? Yo no sabía que.

Ma in italiano una mensa è una "mensa".

Miguel In-you-ran said...

"Canteen". è una "canteen".

Peter G said...

Courtest Cunts one day, reusable mensrual cups the next. Someone is making the best of his recent maternal leave.

Cipo is way ahead on mensrual cups. Read his guide to bratending. In it he reccomends menstrual cup bloody mary's....partially used, topped off with your favorite flavored vodka.

leroy said...

Estimado Miguel In-you-ran--

Mi perro me dice que es verdad que Verdi es verde con envidia de mi perro.

Pero, yo no se.

In fact, I told him "Yo! No say!"

I, Claudius said...

Et sane mensa est Latine "table"

Googe Translate sez / said...

나의 개는 맛있었습니다.

BamaPhred said...

Eeeeewwwwww

TMI

It needs to be said...

Eddie Merckx ist ein ehrenwerter Mensch.

sTONEdEADLAND said...

Heute habe ich ein auto gewaschen und eine kuchen gebackene!!

That's all I 'member from H.S. deutschland spreckin'

It's 4:20 somewhere said...

I used to get baked in my car back in high school, too. Never did it during German class though. Fräulein Heinkel was pretty hot, and wore a lot of miniskirts. One at a time.

McFly said...

Doesn't it need a quarter turn valve or a spring loaded...........bleeder valve.............at the base so you could drain it in the restroom on your break or whatever's.

Holy Roller said...

Some Biblical quotes:

a) "And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days. And whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even." (Leviticus 15:19)

b)"My cup runneth over." (Psalm 23:5)

Amen.H

Anonymous said...

More Tri dumps please. That shit is brilliant!!

Anonymous said...

and her breath, her breath smelled like wet pussy

Anonymous said...

New baby and complaining about tampons? Irony?
I hope you use cloth diapers!

But of course you do!

dop said...

shouldn't that be womenses?

JLRB said...

Speaking of beik racing rumor has it there is some big race coming to virginia

Dooth said...

Just got an email announcing that Jens Voigt is coming to New York. I don't care where he comes and goes, but I'm pissed that I got that email. I blame Google.

The Rythym Is Gonna Getcha said...

If you were paying more attention to your wife's cycles would you have 17+1 kids

McFly said...

Hey I put a rear rack on the flat bar Raleigh. I feel like fookin Urban Commuter. It doubles nicely as a fender. I would tell you about strappin a couple of DVD rentals to it but then you would make fun of me for renting analog cinema's.

dop said...

There are Flat Bars in Raleigh? When will they come to New York? I'll probably have to go to Williamsburg, they get all the good stuff first.

BamaPhred said...

The only football more boring than the superbore is the interminable hype program leading up to it. You can only clean chains so many times, and it is raining. KMN

Spokey said...

haven't watched the stupid bowl in years. not the 1/2 time snore either. i think spousy does though so i guess i will catch a few seconds when i wander through the living room.


Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...


dooth @2:54P

i use two things

one to block all the advertising bots and shit. the one i use is ghostery at www.ghostery.com. i started by blocking everything and then slowing turning on one or two per site when the site (like tvguide.com/listings) would not work correctly with everything blocked. Added benefit is some like tvguide load much faster with a lot of ads blocked. it doesn't block all ads. like the ones here show. it just blocks the tracking stuff

second thing is startpage for searches at http://startpage.com it will use google but not let google track you.

(i'll get these urls right yet)

dop said...

3 years ago in my (late) best friend's house, we watched the giants play the pats...gloom (and too much dos equis) brought the crowd down after a late pats score put them up with minutes to go and the living room was silent & some looked for their coats...I jumped up and ranted..

Was it over after the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor? Oh, We're afraid to cheer for the Giants Bluto...the Patriots might beat them & hurt our feelings! Well nothing is over til we say it's over...Belichek? dead! Brady? dead!! The Giants came back & I felt justified..

Of course, I was the neighborhood pariah a year later for telling penis jokes when tween children were present....one little girl wouldn't stop laughing & became visibly ill with hiccups, but I'm invited back & will be there after work today. Go Hawks.

Euphonysms for menestration said said...

Your aunties here for a visit

mr euphemism said said said...

at high tide

mrs euphemism said said said::: said...

the badger is angry

auntie mame said...

a little ketchup with your staek

pro mame said...

attracting the lesbian vampires

hunky dory said...

brown towel night

dop said...

Tears of a disappointed uterus

dop said...

The Soviets are coming

dop said...

Closed for maintenance

dop said...

the audio captcha bites

dop said...

Dracula's tea bag

dop said...

The eagle has landed

dop said...

century

dop said...

the last captcha was fball

Dooth said...

Spokey, thanks for the tips..saves me the trouble of bitch-slapping Jens Voigt.

Spokey said...

you're quite welcome.

my only regret is that i took the opportunity to work on my bieksickle (that could have had drum breiks) and let that damn dop get the centurion.

oh well, best and kudos to that damn dop.

Spokey said...

oh,

one con to that advice. use one of those techniques and you will be deemed a menace (or perhaps womenass) to the american way. use both and due to requirements of the patriot act you are placed on the due knot flie list.

cheddarChese said...

Did anyone else post the story NYPD is buying crowd control equipment with machine gun mounts?

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jan/30/nypd-bill-bratton-anti-terror-unit-black-lives-matter

Those bike-cyclists will finally get into cars and mass transit where they can be properly monitored.

This takes me back to Daryl Gates at the LAPD. We all know how that worked out. Good times ahead.

Right Wingnut said...

I'm sure my tv has a hidden camera inbedded within to spy upon me. I've propped a mirror up in the corner of the living room so I can watch CNN from the kitchen and remain unobservable. My tinfoil wrapped helmet prevents them from reading my mind and installing thought programs into my sub-conscious. When the moon is next full, I will don even more elaborate protective gear, procure some firearms from Wal Mart and then hope that I can vote for Sarah Palin in the upcoming election.

dop said...

More fun than scranus

dop said...

cat on a hot tin scranus

JFK said...

ask not what your scranus can do four you...ask what Marilyn can do for your scranus

james tiberius kirk said...

scanus...the final frontier

wc fields said...

on the whole, I'd rather be in scranus..

Anonymous said...

vsk said ...

Man it's crappy outside !!!

Tough robot today!

vsk

cipo said...

scranus...it's what's for dinner

Anonymous said...

Wheels didn't track too well there - the trigeek needs the ENVEs!

Bari Sevy said...

Whatever it is, but i had fun from it. hehe!!!!