BSNYC Friday (No) Fun (No) Quiz!

Let's talk menses.

On numerous occasions I've mentioned Sustainable Cycles, and here's what they're about:

Sustainable Cycles works to catalyze a grassroots, person-to-person revolution away from single-use, disposable menstrual products to reusable, sustainable options.   We want as many women to make the switch as possible, and for users to become advocates – “spokeswomen” – in their communities.  We see our work as a feminist, social, and environmental justice project.

Now I'm going to put this in bicycle terms for you.  You know how when you keep trashing headset bearings and after awhile you just say "Screw it" and buy a Chris King, and voilà, you don't have to futz with your headset anymore?  Well, it's the same with menstrual products.  Why keep flushing tampons down the terlet when you can get yourself a top-quality reusable menstrual cup?

Just don't mistake it for one of those eye bath things, because eeew.

(It's perfectly fine to use them for tequila shots though, owing to the antiseptic properties of the liquor.)

So Sustainable Cycles is embarking upon a cross-country bicycle trip to promote their cause, which is sensible menses curation:

And so they're passing the hat (or, more accurately, the cup) around for donations:



So why am I, a male (genetically at least), so enthusiastic about this?  Well, here's why:

1) I spent a lot of time on the beach as a child.  In fact, you could even say I grew up on the beach, which is why I have to go to the dermatologist every six months now and get dysplastic nevi cut out of me.  Anyway, when I used to play in the sand I'd always find these plastic tube things which I'd pretend were boats, pipes, telescopes, or what have you.  "How convenient that the beach is strewn with toys!," I used to think, and it wasn't until many years later that I realized they were tampon applicators.  Sure, I suppose those tampon applicators sparked my imagination and made me who I am today, but I also think my children should be spared the indignity of having to play with feminine hygiene products;

2) I've had it up to here [indicates top of head] with all these fundraising campaigns for bullshit like this, nor do I care about the latest SRAM wireless electronic shifting group or some overpriced plastic "gravel" bike designed by the legal legal department at Specialized, and I especially don't care about stuff like raising money for junior bike racers to compete, since encouraging kids to race bikes is about as productive as locking them in their rooms with a bong and a Monster Magnet record.  This, however, is a worthy cause;

3) The whole menstrual cup thing just makes sense to me.  After all, you don't drink out of paper cups at home, do you?  Of course not!  You use washable glasses.  So why should menstruating be any different?  It's just common sense!  Basically, menstrual cups are the same as drinking glasses, except instead of drinking from them you stick them in you vagina.

I rest my case.

Meanwhile, in non-menstrual news, a New York City cyclist is fighting a ticket for riding on a marked bike path in Central Park:

Back in November, a cyclist riding on the 96th Street path in Central Park was pulled over by a police officer wearing a bike helmet. The cyclist’s offense: riding on the 96th Street path, which was designated as a shared bike and pedestrian path in 2012. The officer issued a criminal court summons for disobeying a sign, next to a sign that clearly marked the path as open to bicycles.

Criminal court summons for doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing on a bicycle?  That sounds about right.  Police have been cracking down on cyclists ever since a pedestrian was killed there last fall.  There is a silver lining in the crackdown though, which is this:

“I know several large tri clubs have completely left the park as of late October, and they’re looking for alternatives for completely riding indoors next year, even during the summer,” said Mikael Hanson of the Asphalt Green Triathlon Club.

Triathletes relegating themselves to the indoors all year round?!?  That's almost too good to be true!  Maybe there is a God after all.  High five, God!

("Don't mention it.")

If I were mayor I would fully subsidize any triathlon club who promised to ride exclusively indoors--where the worst they can do is this:



I'm not sure if he's actually a triathlete, but he does have aerobars and a Gran Fondo New York jersey, which is basically the same thing.

Not only would I subsidize these clubs, but I'd also buy each rider a $17,000 Eddy Merckx limited edition bicycle:

Eddy Merckx Cycles, the eponymous brand of arguably the world's greatest cyclist, is returning to its roots with steel racing bikes. The first batch will be a limited-edition run of EDDY70 machines. Sold online for US$17,500 / €14,000 a piece, there will by 70 numbered EDDY70 bikes, of which the man himself will get number one. But these aren't just retro bikes, the company insists.

What better way to say "Happy Birthday" to the cyclist who only got caught doping three times than by giving him a fuckload of money for one of his bicycles?

It's easy, too!  In fact, it's eerily like choosing a seat on a Jet Blue flight:

I'd have bought one myself, but unfortunately my preferred number was taken:

And I'm pretty certain I know who ordered it.  Here are a three hints:

--He's a retired sprinter;
--He rides shirtless;
--He's unwittingly ingested dozens of menstrual cups.

Give up?

It's this guy:

("Eddy make the 69 for me!"--Mario Cipollini)

He's as classy as they come.

Lastly, before I go, I'm sorry for not administering a quiz, so by way of an apology here's some more triathlete crash porn:


Don't mention it.