Can you really call something like this a "bike" just because it has two wheels and you sit on it?
Yeah, that's not a bike, that's a pair of glasses:
And check out this guy actually riding the glasses:
Note those tiny "wheels," which are more like casters. I'd hate to hit a pothole or storm drain on that thing--though that can be mitigated by the optional "stabilization skirt" made from revolutionary crabon fribé bristles:
I especially like the slogan the inventor uses at the end of the video, which is "It's not a bike, it's a revolution." However, for the sake of accuracy, I'd urge them to change that to "It's not a bike, it's a motorized barstool."
Because really, what is the difference?
Meanwhile, here in America's Most Bike Friendly City, the latest example of how it's not is a proposal to ban using a phone while cycling:
Mayor de Blasio said he supports the idea of a ban on talking on the phone or texting while biking.
“It’s the same concept as with a car. Someone’s who’s biking needs to be alert, needs to think of safety first,” he said. “They can’t do that if they’re simultaneously looking at a device.”
If you're wondering how I feel about this proposed ban, in the words of Groucho Marx, I'm against it. Should you futz around on your phone while you're riding your bike? Probably not. But are bikes the same as cars, and should that be the basis for setting bike policy? Absolutely not. In fact, it's this obsession with pretending bikes and cars are the same that's gotten us into this mess in the first place. It's why our infrastructure is so terrible for riding bikes, and why "vehicular cyclists" would have us riding around at top speed all the time while making ridiculous hand signals and wearing body armor and DayGlo jumpsuits.
I'd love for this to go the other way once in awhile, and for drivers to have to pretend that they're cyclists on the pretense that both vehicles are the "same concept." For example, here in New York City, there are a surprising number of bridges over which you're technically supposed to walk your bike:
Presumably someone decided it wasn't safe to ride a bike over this bridge for some reason, most likely the metal grating on the road surface. Of course, you can bet I just ride over it anyway, because I'm a regular Lucas Brunelle. However, I'll gladly stop and walk just as soon as the drivers are also forced to stop their cars, put them in neutral, and push them across the span. After all, as Mayor Billy de B. says, "It's the same concept as with a car," right? So if a cyclist can lose traction then so can a driver.
In the meantime I'll keep banging my gong and snickering to myself as everybody flees the bridge.
As for the impetus behind the proposed ban, it's because some city councilman saw something once:
MANHATTAN — Standing outside of his Gravesend office last week, Brooklyn Councilman Mark Treyger noticed a bicyclist using a cellphone while riding down the street.
He didn't think much of it at first, but all of a sudden, the cyclist veered into oncoming traffic, nearly causing an accident.
Yeah, sure, now that we've licked the problem of drivers killing hundreds of people a year we should totally focus our efforts on cycling legislation.
Great comment by the always insightful EXXONPUMPITUP on that Daily News article by the way:
As long as I stay under 25 mph its all good when I run him over when he rides in front of me. Just don't scratch my paint.
What's especially disturbing is that, given New York City's utter lack of driver enforcement, this isn't even cyclist-baiting. It is merely a statement of fact.
Lastly, further to yesterday's post, I had a brief Twitter exchange with Lucas Brunelle himself:
@bikesnobnyc yo @lucasbrunelle you aight?!
— Wolfpack Hustle (@WolfpackHustle) November 11, 2014
@WolfpackHustle @bikesnobnyc I’m ok, every year someone tries to kill me. I’m Ukrainian and will outlast them all
— Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) November 11, 2014
@lucasbrunelle @WolfpackHustle We know you're fine, we saw you on the news. How is the pedestrian?
— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) November 11, 2014
@bikesnobnyc she's fine, her sister was shaken up but she's fine
— Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) November 11, 2014
@lucasbrunelle Will we see the film of the incident?
— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) November 11, 2014
@bikesnobnyc reporters were trying to get footage from traffic cams & witnesses, we just might
— Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) November 11, 2014
@lucasbrunelle So you were not filming?
— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) November 11, 2014
@bikesnobnyc no i wasn't, i was making a run to the store at slow speed
— Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) November 11, 2014
@lucasbrunelle But in your Bicycling interview you said you always ride fast to the store.
— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) November 11, 2014
He did, you know:
Do you ride like that even when you're picking up groceries?
Yes. Every seat I have is as sharp as a razor, so you always play to roll.
That's my favorite Brunelle quote of all time.
He also told the press he was on a "group ride," which I reminded him:
@lucasbrunelle Also, you told the news it was a "group ride gone bad."
— Bike Snob NYC (@bikesnobnyc) November 11, 2014
Specifically, he said the following:“I said, ‘We were on a group ride. Someone got an injury, they’ve got to go to the hospital.’ He started getting in my face and ‘(expletive) you’ and so I shot back and I said, ‘(Expletive) you.’ He gets out and he attacks me. He tried to run me over.”
So which was it? A "run to the store at slow speed" or a "group ride gone bad?" There's a pretty big difference between the two.
Well, apparently the answer is "Yes!"
@bikesnobnyc ha good memory, not always & the group ride i caught onto as there are many in boston now
— Lucas Brunelle (@lucasbrunelle) November 11, 2014
It was at this point I realized I was behaving like Pee-Wee in his eponymous "Big Adventure" and abandoned my line of questioning:I'm now off to the basement at the Alamo.
122 comments:
Podiating on early doors, yo
Yo
Pudiumz
WOW! Top 10!
yikes!in the top ten.good morning all.
steel longshot
Scranus
Woo, another early post!
Also, top ten.
”I realized I was behaving like Pee-Wee…”
No, you were behaving like a good cop.
You know you are done with the perp when they are a sobbing, confessing ball of guilt.
I'd bet that riding the "impossible" in nyc would be quite the spectacle.
Good morning.
GOLD, Snobi Wan! What a great way to start the day, with a great big LOL at the Groucho glasses bicycle... thanks. I needed that. :D
Heh heh and I might go and pull a Brunelle on my way to work today, too. If I'm feeling particularly outre.
Thanks Lob I don't have a "Walk Bike" according to that sign i would have to dismount from it on that bridge. But I've learned in my life that however poorly written a sign, it is the interpretation of it by a screaming asshole that is always most important to note.
"Bicycle Riders stop and dismount; walk bike."
Is very different from:
"Bicycle Riders. Stop and Dismount Walk Bike"
Let's eat grandma vs. Let's eat, Grandma.
Punctuation saves lives.
But what do I know, I have to go now, the robot is telling me I should cultivate doceduly.
Hey if your a Regular Lucas Brunelle at least your not as full of shit.
Early Scranus.
I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
I do love it when you throw in a clip from Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Can The Impossible even be consider a bicycle, since there don't appear to be any pedals? It's more of a portable hoveround. 1910 robots agree with me that it is not in fact, a bicycle.
Keep the rubbers down and enjoy the day!
Grouchobike
The nota bike needs a sharper nota seat
vsk said ...
Can't get no ...
Podisfaction !!
vsk - nice and gloomy and all fogged up in NYC !!
velle roodayin
Hey, no big deal or anything, but I'll be landing on a FUCKING COMET later today.
Blue snob jersery, is anyone listening, I ride better in blue. As a 816 rider I feel like a pioneer reading about cycling issues in big cities. So happy to ride in a city and have it to myself. Most cars around here see me as an oddity and give me the right of way however the minivan driver is always a little more aggressive than the rest, down the middle.
Golly Mr. BSNYC, Mr. Brunelle's explanation makes perfect sense.
My dog and his buddies often go on group rides to the store.
They have helmets just like Mr. Brunelle's and refill often for proper balance.
Wednesday weed just not as enticing as it used to be?
Always time for PeeWee.
Good luck Philae!
Scranus.
Dear Philae - Good luck. I find it a little funny that NASA fucked up a Mars landing becuase the engineers mixed up english and metric units while it appears that the European Space Agency, which undoubtedly uses all metric all the time, is apparently going to successfully land on a freaking comet. Metric is your friend, my friends.
Ha!
BikeLobby tweeted, Landed on comet? Big Deal. They once successfully docked a CityBike first try.
...why is someone trying to kill burnelli every year?
...and is it once a year?
...is it politically motivated?
...is that why he's always got cameras strapped to himself and riding like a bat out of hell?
...is it also why you see him skidding in the desert in africa, and all around the world?
...SNOB, you must to investigate.
...then we finally might form a politically motivated bikeen club and hail the locus as our lord.
Who hasn't been in that scenario? Picture: riding your bike leisurely to the store, when all of a sudden a group ride comes rumbling by. "Milk can wait!," you say to yourself, as you jump on the back wearing street clothes, sandals, and carrying no water.
Something stinks.
remember the ala mode
Your head banging against the wall of the NY City biking scene is like a baseball game. Sometimes you get a hit and sometimes you strike out. Today you struck out. YOu don't want bikers to use cell phones becasue it takes a hand of the handlebars and eyes off the road. It is actually safer to use a cell phone in a car becasue taking a hand off the wheel does not make it more likely that the car will tip over. And I suspect the reason they want you to walk your bike over that bridge is because they were thinking you would be riding the bike on the sidewalk, which since it's tacked onto the edge of the bridge, is likely pretty narrow.
" It's why our infrastructure is so terrible for riding bikes, and why "vehicular cyclists" would have us riding around at top speed all the time while making ridiculous hand signals and wearing body armor and DayGlo jumpsuits."
You actually read Forester's book!
Amazing how your retention is so accurate!
Anonymous 12:33pm,
Save it.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Anonymous 12:33pm,
It is actually safer to use a cell phone in a car becasue taking a hand off the wheel does not make it more likely that the car will tip over.
Right, because that's why texting and driving is dangerous.
You do not seem to be smart.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
"You do not seem to be smart."
Sometimes the most elegant insults are also the simplest ones.
The language of this sign, “leave draw when gong sounds” appears on all the drawbridges that cross the Harlem River between Manhattan and the Bronx. I’ve never ben around when any of them have been raised and hence, have never heard the gong.
The sign is in magnificent Highway Gothic, variations of which are used in directional and street signs, avoiding the by-now clichéd Helvetica.
--
wle
--
Picture: riding your bike leisurely to the store,
==wait
shouldn;t that be
==
" Picture: riding your bike leisurely-LY to the store, "
==
pet peeve
==
wle
==
...SNOB, you must to investigate...SNOB, you must to investigate...SNOB, you must to investigate...SNOB, you must to investigate...SNOB, you must to investigate
agree agree agree agree agree
wle
This was uploaded by Brunelle 2 hours ago.
back to you, PeeWee.
Victory Philae. Now I'm going to install on my bike a pair of space harpoons and a set of ice screws in case I end up on a comet.
Scranus.
CommieCanuk,
The van appeared to have his blinker on. Smart riding.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Wow. Johan Brunuyl goes faster when it is wet than i do in the dry.
Does he have anti-lock brakes?
brunelle - genius - passing on the right, plowing through cross street..
--wle--
...NO NO NO... the van driver was trying to kill him. 'Happy Wednesday' is an Ukrainian expression loosely translates to, try harder.
EXXONPUMPITUP is a close personal friend of mine and I am disappointed to see that you are busting on him. You'd never guess based on his internet comments, but he's one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. You can't leave him alone with the pets because he will drop his pants and try to fuck the dog if given half a chance, but he's great with the children.
"Johan Brunuyl goes faster when it is wet than i do in the dry."
Johan Brunuyl? Weren't we talking about Lucas Brunelle? Are you claiming they are the same person?
Someone should hold Lucas Brunelle accountable and you have the right temperament to do it.
Two things: shooting up along slower traffic up and an intersection, not a good idea. Ignore van turn signals, and you're going to have a bad time.
and a third thing: that bigass camera/beerhat he wears on his head is crap, rent a GoPro, Johan Bruyneel.
I encourage all of you to click watch the video that Doucheus Brunelle uploaded a while ago and I encourage all of you to leave a comment letting him know what a fucking idiot he is. [[Thanks to CC for posting the link in the first place]]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMqtMxPufj4#t=28
Biking while texting needs a Kickstarter Project. Attached to the handlebars would be a long flexible conduit tube that would hold a cell phone. You could then dictate your message into the phones microphone, I.E. "OK Honey, I'll get a loaf of bread and condoms on the way home. What about mouthwash, will you need mouthwash?" (just hope it's not a group message response you're using by accident). I'm thinking a million dollar KS Project should do the trick.
brunelle -- could ANYONE pay his coffee bills...?
--
wle
--
Texting while biking is so easy that all local college students do it. You merely have to get over the idea that the handlebars need to be touched in order for the bike to go where you want.
If you happen to scare the shit out of someone trying to pass you because you can't hold your line, well, "dude should chill."
A bike weighs about 20 lbs, give or take a few lbs. A car weighs about 5,000 lbs, give or take 1,000 lbs. So a car weighs about 250x as much as a bike. Also top speed for a car is around 130mph, top speed for a bike is around 20-25mph. so a car goes about 6.5x as fast as a bike. So imagine being tackled by a 180lb guy running at say 12 mph, that's going to hurt. Now imagine be stampeded by 7 African elephants traveling at around 80 mph, that's is going to hurt a little bit more.
A bike weighs about 20 lbs, give or take a few lbs. A car weighs about 5,000 lbs, give or take 1,000 lbs. So a car weighs about 250x as much as a bike. Also top speed for a car is around 130mph, top speed for a bike is around 20-25mph. so a car goes about 6.5x as fast as a bike. So imagine being tackled by a 180lb guy running at say 12 mph, that's going to hurt. Now imagine be stampeded by 7 African elephants traveling at around 80 mph, that's is going to hurt a little bit more.
No cell phone usage while cycling is probably a good idea.
Here's my proposal:
Let's try it out on the cars first. Get drivers to stop calling and texting and web surfing etc. If, after a period of strict zero tolerance enforcement, it appears to be working, then let's give the bikes a go.
But we have to have better than 90% compliance in the cars first.
NYPD are you with me?
A bike weighs about 20 lbs, give or take a few lbs. A car weighs about 5,000 lbs, give or take 1,000 lbs. So a car weighs about 250x as much as a bike. Also top speed for a car is around 130mph, top speed for a bike is around 20-25mph. so a car goes about 6.5x as fast as a bike. So imagine being tackled by a 180lb guy running at say 12 mph, that's going to hurt. Now imagine be stampeded by 7 African elephants traveling at around 80 mph, that's is going to hurt a little bit more.
Wait..wait..ok..I got the same answer.
CC & anon
valid point, but cars don't weigh that much.
From edmunds:
2015 Camry 3240 lbs
2015 Honda Accord 3254 lbs
2015 Nissan Altima 3191 lbs
2015 Vokswagen Jetta 2859 lbs
2015 Ford Taurus 4054 lbs
no edmunds data so manufacturer data
2015 Impala 3679 lbs
base 2x4 F150
2015 Ford F150 4050 lbs
Anonymous 3:36pm,
They said "give or take 1,000 lbs." And are those weights you posted wet or dry? (Not to mention they don't include passengers and cargo.)
--Wildcat Rock Machine
Well shit, if it's only 5 or 6 African elephants stampeding, that's no big deal.
Yeah, but what does an elephant weigh? And can they do 80mph?
Here's another thing: My job, every day, is to get from A to B and back in one piece without hitting anything or hurting anyone, and without breaking the law. If I can be pleasant to people while doing that, even better. Doesn't matter whether I'm in a car, on a bike, walking. That's the job. It sounds simple enough, but it means paying attention, and it means not losing it every time someone else stops paying attention. Just because I don't get paid to do this doesn't make it any less of a responsibility. I can be punished for fucking up, just as I can be punished for fucking up at my paying job. And if I put someone else's life at risk, I deserve to be punished.
Before we ask how much does an elephant weigh shouldn't we first figure out how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck would chuck wood and can they chuck wood at 80mph or 129kph and if so are they chucking 10kg or 4 metric tonnes?
Woodchuck.
One word.
Not after a metric conversion
I think Brunelle's might have a plausible defense. I've done it. Who hasn't?? Sedately, riding home from the store, regal on your Schwinn cruiser, basket full of organic kale and local beer. suddenly you 'catch the wheel' of a group ride, spinning out in the mid 20's and pulling leads in front. Steel rims really carry the momentum once they're up to speed, and a Wald basket in front cuts the wind like dimples on a golf ball.
Dang. Now I really want to know what Spokey said. Something spooky, Spokey?
You know, you'd be better off with the cell phone law. Then, you'd be like "Okay, officer, you got me, haha, good one, you win". As it stands, they'll be writing you the ticket and you'll be ragey for months about how it's BS and isn't even a law.
Oh, and my mind totally went to Brunyl when I saw the tweet the other day. So yeah, pretty sure they're the same guy.
Lucas Bruyneel is a weasel, and should be punished by having to buy a Montague hybrid bike like David Byrne and walk it everywhere EXCEPT for the Broadway Bridge, and also GoPro all that shit and post to Tweeter so everyone just gets tired of his boring-ass videos.
anon 4:44
wo rd
What propels the Implodable Bike?
vsk said ...
My old 1972 Cadillac Coupe de Ville weighed 5,200 pounds. About 1/3 of a fucktonneload.
vsk
IF THE "MORE OR LESS, GIVE OR TAKE" IS ON THE ORDER OF A TON, THEN THERE SHOULD BE EIGHT elephants TO MAKE THE EQUATION WORK.
Once elephants get up to 88 mph, they will weight slightly less (like 99.74%) due to relativity. Einstein said so. Please revise equations and resubmit.
Yeah, and if you can get the weight down to 99.44% they'll turn into bars of soap.
So who else is getting the transportation glasses? I figure those 10 AA batteries should at least get me to the corner before they fizzle. Sign me up!
"Once elephants get up to 88 mph, they will weight slightly less (like 99.74%) due to relativity.
Mass INCREASES with velocity. That is (one reason) why no object can obtain the speed of light; the object's mass approaches infinity as it approaches the speed of light. And F = MA you can't accelerate an infinity mass.
If you want to redeem yourself show you know the difference between mass and weight. And speed vs. velocity.
Anonymous @5:14 PM
nothing spooky. wrote it, posted it, decided it was half PeeWee and half troll. Deleted it.
albert is right. and / or he is a prince.
if I get to snobbie's house and back to mine in an hour my average speed was about 120 mph and avg velocity was 0.
my weight on the moon is 1/6 of earth but my mass is the same.
do i get a cigar?
Everyone knows an elephant can crush a car
MASS IS WHERE YOU GO ON SATURDAYS
WEIGHT IS WHAT YOU DO ONCE YOURE THERE
SPEED IS A DANGEROUS DRUG
VELOCITY IS WHERE I GO TO BUY KIT
SO STFU, IM REDEEMED!!!!, PRAISE LOB.
1904 C @ 3:09 +1
I don't like people swerving at me while driving, walking, or biking because they are distracted by phones. But a law against phoning while biking will likely be enforced while the existing laws involving cars and phones are ignored.
AND
Everytime I read Lucas Brunelle my brain sees Luis Buñuel.
Lou-E Lou-I
un chien andalou
simon of the desert
charm
run to the store? huh - I guess he could have been headed to chinatown... but a group ride? does he mean actual bike commuters? that area of the city it's going to be suits on folding bikes.
Have you ever seen the Elephant's Graveyard?
Tantor. Warn Jane. The Ant People are restless.
I like a bamboo frame with ape hanger bars and Gatorskin tires.
Um, I'm sorry, but bikes do, in fact, go a fuckload faster than 25 mph. Just sayin is all.
Time to go bang my gong
Or bong my gang?
GONG BANG
BONG GANG
cannot believe I'm the first to go there.
Elephants are generally less rigid than cars. But they weigh more than cars; 5000 lbs is on the small side for African elephants. But speed matters more, because kinetic energy increases as the square of the speed. An elephant going 80 mph would definitely put some hurt on ya.
And you think you have it bad in NYC, look what the fucktard motorists of Australia have done http://www.smarthat.info
Sorry should have made a clicky link geez these fucking bogan troglodytes give me the shits.
I hung around with a cat named smokey. I loved him, though he was cokey. He took me down to Chinatown, and taught me how to kick the gong around
FM @2:19
The problem with that approach is views are a positive reinforcement - kind of like lots if people reading stupid news articles slamming bikes - even if you leave negative comments your clicks count = money.
So when the gong songs you leave draw? Graffiti time?
Can someone help me with deez nuts?
nothing to see here
just passing through
would you believe
woo hoo
Well played, JLRB... XX
So I checked out that video, and the answer to your question, Oh Great Snobi Wan, is no. That is definitely not a bicycle. No pedals, no drive train? NO bicycle. Lazy-assed scooter, maybe. Impossible is how you'd describe the way that they got it to actually go. Oh never mind, that would be gravity. And I'm sorry, but what is the matter with that guy's face that they can't show it?!
Guess that makes me the groucho today. Hey! Where did I put my glasses?
Things I never expected to see on my home page.....
1) Kim Kardashian's ass slathered in Johnson's baby oil.
Back when I was a kid you had to search for porn on the internet.
psssttt - McFly - once you search for porn enough they just start sending it to you.
babs;
you're right. no bike. but it's not a scooter. it's the world's stupidest motor-sickle.
It doesn't have pedals but it does have a motor so it's a motor-sickle. The world's stupidest is just my opinion of course. but then again i am right.
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this proposed ban, in the words of Groucho Marx, I'm against it. Should you futz around on your phone while you're riding your bike? Probably not. But are bikes the same as cars, and should that be the basis for setting bike policy? Absolutely not.
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this proposed ban, in the words of Groucho Marx, I'm against it. Should you futz around on your phone while you're riding your bike? Probably not. But are bikes the same as cars, and should that be the basis for setting bike policy? Absolutely not.
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