Friday, September 5, 2014

It's Friday Already? How About That! No Quiz For You!




Also, remember this fathead?




I have lived in West Islip most of my life and my personal feeling is that no one who lives in our hamlet or for that matter in Suffolk County should ever ride a bicycle or a motorcycle. I cannot tell you how many constituents over the years have told me that they are taking up bicycling for pleasure and exercise. I have told them not to do so but they usually do not listen – 90 percent of those people eventually were hit by an automobile many like your mother with serious physical injuries. 

I have heard the suggestion of bicycle lanes and additional signage but unfortunately this would do little to solve the problem. Suffolk County is a suburban automobile community—drivers expect to see other drivers on the road not bicyclists and motorcyclists. 

Well, it turns out that Bicycling has also declared Suffolk to be the worst place to ride a bike in America:


("The worst, Jerry!  The worst!")

At first glance, this designation would appear to be justified, what with idiots like this in charge out there:


("I have something up my ass and I like it.")

However, when you really think about it, this makes no sense.  Suffolk County is indeed, as Fathead points out, "a suburban automobile community."  And guess which city it's a suburb of:


(Hint: it ain't Cleveland.)

So shouldn't the fact that New York City's suburbs include the worst place to ride a bike IN ALL OF AMERICA negatively impact New York City's ranking?  How is it fair to carve Suffolk out, treat it like a city, and give it its own ranking?  As much as David Byrne might like to pretend otherwise, New York City does not exist in a vacuum.  The city's character is influenced by its suburbs and vice-versa.  Every day the city swells with commuters from the surrounding counties, and if you're a New York City resident who rides recreationally you're probably doing a good deal of your riding in those same counties.  Plus--and this is important--lots of NYPD officers live in Suffolk County.

Here's how it works:

You're riding your bike in New York City.  A driver from Suffolk County who's pissed off and impatient after sitting in LIE traffic all morning whips into the bike lane in order to beat the light, sideswiping you in the process.  Assuming the driver actually stops, a police officer who also lives in Suffolk County eventually arrives on the scene (in a car, it hardly warrants mentioning) and takes a report.  Now one of these things is not like the other.  Guess which:


(Hint: it's the pussy on the bike.)

That's why all a driver has to say to his neighbor the police officer is "He swerved into me" or "He came from outta nowhere" and he's free to go.

Therefore, it's only fair to fold the suburbs into New York City's ranking, and by virtue of Long Island alone we should fall to at least 20th place.

Speaking of cycling in New York City, remember my comprehensive test of the State Bicycle Co. "Saturday Deluxe?"


Of course you do, it immediately set the new "gold standard" for bicycle reviews.

Anyway, on my way home from that test, I was crossing the Manhattan Bridge from Brooklyn into Manhattan at dusk, when I saw a light:


I've come out in defense of bright bicycle lights in the past.  However, this was bright.  Like light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel, near-death-experience bright.  And as it got closer it only got brighter:


And brighter:


"What the fuck is behind that thing?," I asked myself.  "The second coming of Christ?"


("I'm back, you assholes.")

Well, not quite.  It was just some guy on a folding bike:


So I guess it's fair to say that people with insanely bright lights are overcompensating for the size of their bicycles.

Then when I came off the bridge I took a picture of a person taking a picture, which is one of my most favoritest things to do:


After which I took a picture of a Cat 6 racer getting "aggro:"


Crackdown schmackdown, he's ignoring that red light like Thomas Barraga ignores his physician's repeated warnings not to insert household objects into his rectum.

Now, I should clarify once again that, while I may have my quibbles with New York City being the number one bike town in Canada's uvula, I do love living and riding here.  For example, where else do you get to mingle with the maillot à pois at an intersection?


Also, miles and miles of bike lanes create lots of opportunities for "sharing" them with pedestrians:


And is there a more beguiling sight than the lights of the city at night?


No, there isn't:


Wait, sorry, yes there is.  You said "beguile," but I thought you said "bagel."

Forget everything I just said.

Anyway, a few blocks later I said "Fuck it" and took a commuter train home, wondering for the umpteenth time why they can't put a single bike hook on these goddamn things.

I expect better from the number one cycling city in America, but then again I'm an idiot.  In fact, I'm so stupid I'm still watching that Ryder Hesjedal conspiracy video, and try as I might I can't un-see a motor.  I know everyone's saying the road is banked, he pushed the bike as he unclipped, yadda etc. and so forth, but come on--the bike's here:


And a tiny fraction of a second later it's here:



That shit's just gone baby!!!

Meanwhile, attempts to debunk the conspiracy theory are coming fastly and furiously, but I'm not convinced.  Here's one which proves conclusively that if you lay a bicycle down very gently on a smooth, flat surface it will break dance:



And here's one that has formulas, so you know it's true:


If I'd been there for that presentation I'd have immediately wiped the white board clean with my Damp Chamois of Denial.

Hey, the truth is that, as a group, we cyclists just ain't that smart.  Consider those riders who drank laundry detergent because they thought it was an energy drink:



Six riders ended up clean inside and out at a Norwegian mountain bike event on Friday August 29 after drinking laundry detergent that they mistook for energy drink.

Organisers of the FredagsBirken long-distance mountain bike race in Rena near Oslo were handing out samples of Omo Activ And Sport liquid detergent, but hadn't anticipated riders would mistake it for sport nutrition.

Not for nothing, but you gotta be pretty dumb to do that:


Come on, it has the freaking measuring cap, for chrissake!

Actually, maybe one of Hesjedal's breakaway companions made the same mistake, spat it out, and that's what made the road so slippery.

Now that's an explanation I'm willing to believe.



133 comments:

Serial Retrogrouch said...

podios

Fred Nifacent said...

Way???

Bamaphred said...

Podium?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...hey, where's my quiz?

Fred Nifacent said...

Now to Read

Anonymous said...

top ten?

JB said...

OMO FRED

Anonymous said...

FredagsBirken for the podium

Anonymous said...

lead out fodder

Anonymous said...

Well, good enough for 8th at least.

And maybe 9th.

streepo said...

scranus

ken e. said...

cookie monster is like my spirit animal

Anonymous said...

Read it

Eleven?

Anonymous said...

Just happy to be in the pack!

cycle

balls™ said...

Arugula.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...perhaps in place of the quiz you should have given us the assignment to debunk (or bunk) the rykjlkjigh bicycle motor doping.

...for extra credit, we drink omo, spit it out, and ride over it.

Schisthead said...

Aktiv & Sport. Awesome.

Probably tastes better than most of that crap...

ringcycles said...

is this thing on? I'm slipping out of the group

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...ringcycles, slipping happens when the group is on Omo aktiv sport

Anonymous said...

Some fucking knob gobbler rode me off my bike a couple of days ago on the GWB going around the blind corners in the bridge tower way too fast and in my lane. I had to ride into the railing to avoid him, which caused me to fall pretty hard from my bike, he looked back to see me fall but then just kept riding. I screamed some profanities at him, but he couldn't hear me over his massive beats headphones. I wished some unpleasantries upon his person, some of which I hope come to pass. On a daily basis here I come across nearly as many aggressive clueless cyclists as I do motorist. What the fuck is wrong with people? How can they be so incredibly fucking stupid?

James said...

No quiz? That's that height of my brain activity for the week. Now I've got to go try Lumosity.

Anonymous said...

IT happened in Norway.... who can be surprised?

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:14
Glad you are OK, don't let a-holes get the best of you.

Bryan said...

They should give out samples of detergent during triathlons. That would be funny! Shouldn't the taste have tipped them off that something was no quite right, if nothing else before that did? Who is the person who watched it happen and turned around to snicker? I would be that guy. Wouldn't think to stop them. I would just laugh.
A guy at my work went and did soem sort of tour in France and bought himself a maillot à pois rouges. I'm not the guy who told him he looks like a douche, I'm the guy who turned around and snickered to myself at how douchey he looked.

That light was far too bright for any which reason you could choose. There is zero reason to have high beams unless you ride in the pitch black on some back country road where no one will ever see you.

McFly said...

That guy is obviously blinding the living shit out of people so they will not see him on a foldie.

David Pearce said...

I'm just posting here because the comment box is open on my desktop, and it needs to be said:

It's just after 1:00 p.m. EST (EDT? I don't know--same time zone as NYC, okay?).

Top of the hour newscast: Latest American (missionary) ebola victim from somewhere in Africa has returned to the U.S. and is being treated at a hospital in Omaha, Neb.

And his wife is heard in the broadcast, close to verbatim: "My husband is totally ready to go live his life in eternity with Christ, not because of his good works, but because of his complete faith."

And those two doctor missionary ebola victims who were treated and apparently cured at Emory University Hospital, they both thanked Jesus for sparing their lives.

I hate to be a killjoy for these folks, but maybe, just maybe, they could spare a little thanks for the people in the hospital treating them in isolation, perhaps the jet ambulance with the throw-away isolation chamber that must have cost a cool million dollars or so to airlift them back from Africa.

Somehow, I think these things had a little more to do with curing them of ebola, rather than Christ, (no offense, Jesus).

And another thing! If it doesn't take good works to get into heaven, then why are these doctor/missionaries diving into virus hotspots and helping people? Not that I'm against that. I just think that good works, and being good and doing good, are the ONLY things that might get one into heaven.

************

Anti-robot: 433; Confidence level: 90%

Comment deleted said...

Like the unfortunate Norwegian riders, Hesjedal made a simple mistake. He mistook a prostate stimulator for a frame pump, and when he slid it into his throat, things got weird.

Fred of the Sea said...

NYC has always been a bathroom community.

Comment deleted said...

David, that distinction is critical to the Fundies. It helps them feel superior to the do-gooder Papists.

If I have insulted any God-fearing biblical literalists, well, that was completely intentional.

Bryan said...

Well said, David. Well said indeed. Jebus obviously loves them to cure them. He wanted to cure them so much he gave them Ebola.

babble on said...

Hooooooray! It's Friiiiiiiiiiday!! :D

Anon@ 1:14 - Oh come on. Everybody loves a knob gobbler. AmIright, McFly, or amIright?

Bryan said...

One more thing....the Omo mixup was obviously a science experiment:
"Eighty percent of our participants are married men," event boss Jo Gunnar Ellevold told E24.no. "From this we can conclude that married men would not know what Omo is."

Fred of the Sea said...

GIven that God gave them ebola in the first place, it would be the least Jesus could do.

speedy gonzales said...

I gotta get some crew socks to wear with my polka dot jersey when i cat 6 some sap on the interstate overpass. nothing says mountain goat better than crew sock.

David Pearce said...

The bright light:

Looks like a Brompton, I think. If so, and it is the upgraded generator light, maybe it's the same light I have on my Brompton.

Not that I'm compensating for my small bicycle, or small wang, or whatever. But I do have the top-of-the-line-most-expensive-shit-one-can-buy-option generator lighting that Brompton offers. A SON hub, an upgraded headlight, the rear stand-light. I gotta admire it.

I haven't noticed that my front light is all that blinding, I'll have to check it. Maybe the guy in the picture has some other kind of super bright light.

***********
Anti-robot: 205; Confidence level: 60%

babble on said...

David - Right?!

Hell is something people carry with them, and I expect Heaven is exactly the same - it's something we create here on Earth when we actually figure things out. Y'know... peace comes from within, and all that.

Dave said...

Re urban cycling and bike-friendly cities: I recently spent a week in central Paris, and was forced to notice that cycling is endemic, entrenched, fully accommodated by law, custom and infrastructure. The city's bike share program is huge, the stations are everywhere, easy to use, and the first half hour is free. After some learning the system, one could ride free almost all the time. Bike lanes are everywhere, and on many major streets there is a separate bike lane between the sidewalk and the road, with three-foot shoulders on each site planted with trees. Nobody intrudes on the bike lane except new tourists, who quickly learn from the many bikes whizzing by tht they'd better stay the hell out of them.

Bikes themselves are ubiquitous - most of them simple and practical errand-runner types, but plenty of fixies, foldies, bakefiets, delivery trikes and ordinary old ten-speeds. Helmets are rare and Freds almost not seen at all. Plenty of riding I would have considered fast and reckless elsewhere, but perhaps not here. The populace accepts cycling as a normal urban activity, like walking or riding the subway.

Perhaps this cycling paradise came about as a result of the complications of two world wars trampling through, and perhaps because Paris' road plan is no plan at all, having grown organically since well before the Middle Ages, and hence not logically laid out for automobile use. But they're doing something right. Send NYC and all American city planners to Paris for attitude transplants. Yeah - that could happen.

The End.

Anonymous said...

who hands out laundry detergent at a bikeen thing? water bottles, bars, gels, bananas, check. detergent, uff da.

Comment deleted said...

Clearly Jesus doesn't think much of the Africans dying in excruciating agony. This is the missing predicate of the praise-ments made by airplane crash survivors and such. "Jesus saved me!" What, did he say "fuck off" to all the other passengers?

Mysterious ways, indeed.

Beth said...

Anonymous @1:32, that's what I was wondering too. I mean, I guess it's not bright to guzzle the contents of bottles handed to you by random strangers; but I do feel like the message of the measuring cap is drowned out by the message of it being called "Activ Sport" and you're on a bike rather than in, say, a laundromat.

?

BamaPhred said...

It's all Haman's fault.

And Headlight's. May they be praised. I always look at a nice pair of headlights and am always blinded, I never learn

commentatorbot_god_complex said...

but maybe, just maybe, they could spare a little thanks for the people in the hospital treating them in isolation, perhaps the jet ambulance with the throw-away isolation chamber that must have cost a cool million dollars or so to airlift them back from Africa.

Nope. Too busy complaining about Obama's socialist utopia oppressing their religious freedoms while the million-dollar cost of their complex and dangerous health care is borne by the rest of 'merica.

Thank God! The rest of you shmucks are going to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

Sherrif Kills Bicyclist. No Charges said...

I don't like the bright headlights.

I like "high beams" though. Alot

David Pearce said...

Dave @ 1:32

Interesting post and interesting blog of yours, since I am interested in cameras and images.

"The Wobbling". Interesting commentary, photos!

Coreen said...

At least in the cops in NYC don't use their cars to "intercept" salmoning cyclists. (Intercept in this case meaning running over them, twice, putting them under arrest, then throwing them in the back of an ambulance sans stretcher to die.)

http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/canada/montreal/guy-blouin-id-d-as-cyclist-run-over-by-quebec-city-police-car-1.2755251

David Pearce said...

1:59 p.m.

Man, what a story. That is gruesome.

As with the Michael Brown incident, I say "This is not the most desirable outcome for this encounter with police".

....And so it goes....

Billy said...

Anonymous @ 1:14 PM:

"On a daily basis here I come across nearly as many aggressive clueless cyclists as I do motorist."

Clueless aggressive cyclists are annoying and might knock you over. Clueless aggressive motorists are insane and might kill you. Just a small difference there, I think.

"Clueless and aggressive" seems to be the default state of humans trying to go to work, to the grocery store, to the yoga studio, etc. so we should put them in vehicles likely to cause as little damage as possible.

David Olson said...

Snob,

And didn't you nearly succumb to fulminate hives on a Suffolk Co. thoroughfare with nary a sideways glance from autocar-driving passersby, all of whom were probably from NYC?

1904 Cadardi said...

Babs,

McFly seems AWOL at the moment so I'll take this one.

You are most definitely right!

McFly said...

And just how the funk do we know A. Rasmussen's bike does NOT HAVE A MOTOR IN IT?

Yes knob gobblin' is nice.
How many knobs could a knob gobbler gobble if a knob gobbler could gobble knob?

Let's start with one.

Fred of the Sea said...

I dropped my bike and it just lay there. Does that mean it doesn't have a motor?

PotbellyJoe said...

The best thing to riding in NYC wasn't mentioned. It's riding as the bars are closing and getting to watch all of the drunks attempt whistle for cabs.

You know how to Whistle don't you? You just put your lips together and throw up all over the sidewalk.

BamaPhred said...

I remember that, here's the Summer of Hives.

There were no Good Samaritans in this emergency.

1904 Cadardi said...

There was a story going around that at the Honolulu marathon some Japanese runners were eating the contents of what they thought were energy gels. Turns out it was Vaseline.


Many years ago at a cold wet windy hilly road race, at registration they were handing out Ibuprofin packets like candy. Best swag bag ever!

Anonymous said...

QUIZ NAZI

Anonymous said...

I worked the registration table at a mountain bike poker ride fund raiser and Chamois Butter was a sponsor, whose logo clearly emphasizes the "butt" part of butter. After the ride, everybody had to return their poker hand sheets to us, and one guy stormed up to bitch at us about the awful tasting gels we provided in the swag bags...at first we were speechless, then someone started giggling, and pretty soon crowds of people were laughing until they couldn't breathe. He was not amused. Probably a triathlete.

Dr. Fresh said...

I hadn't seen that video before. That shit is shady as fuck. No conservation of momentum explains the bike goofing along on it's side like that!

Anonymous said...

It seems in Scanditrash countries Omo is known as Surf or some scheisse like that.
Besides, just because it was made for laundry doesn't mean it won't work as a sports drink. Only 6 bicycling cyclists complained.

Old Man Budnitz said...

What?! Bicycling Magazine has lost all credibility? How can this be?

Anonymous said...

OMO, or Oi, My Offal for those who choose to consume it as a sports drink.

Fred ags Birken, indeed.

sTONEdEADLAND said...

OMO incident shouldn't surprise. These are the folks who delight in lye-soaked codfish.

Uff Da, indeed!

leroy's dog said...

I don't mean to brag, but I have a foolproof system to make sure that I never experience the distress those Norwegian riders experienced.

My dog just returned my 100% Clean Garmin Slipstream bottles (with Mr. Hesjedal's autograph among others)after extensive testing to make sure they were 100% detergent free.

His hard work is obvious. Those bottles would be much cleaner if they had detergent.

Leroy's Dog Certified 100%Detergent Free Bottles.

I only paid for the detergent testing. I couldn't afford his autograph.

Euro Spondee said...

Dave @1:32 - I entirely agree about Paris. I lived there almost thirty years ago, and it was not so much about bikes then, but when I went to visit a friend a couple of summers ago, I was blown away by the change - as you say, the medieval street system has something to do with it. I loved the fact that some of the tiny streets lent themselves to being bike only, while cars whizzed by a block or two away. Plus or course the canal banks and the riverside... happy days, sans casquette

Not an Engineer said...

I still can't understand how a tiny motor in a rear hub (or in Cancellara's seat tube) could make a pro rider improve his performance. I do have an internally geared hub on my cruiser and I cannot understand how that could possibly work either.

JB said...

I lived in Nurnberg for a summer. (No, not just following WWII!) I rented a bike for the summer (something like Snob's new fendered thing) and took the train around town. How nuts!

P.S. I saw Billy Joel play at the Nazi Zeppelin field.

McFly said...

DC was very much the same way with the curteousness and the lanes being unobstructed. I really enjoyed the Bikeshare. Even though I was list as.......as a hick in the nations capital.

McFly said...

*lost

Spokey said...

Cool cover

I just got this stupid best cities bieksicking cover

wish i had gotten that one. Is there a motor in that one?

would have gotten my beads and murmured 734 hail lobs

Holy Roller said...

The Good Lord works in mysterious ways. Why is that so hard for the sinners to understand? Sometimes it's best not to think too much about things and just accept what the Holy Spirit bestows upon us.

Ps. Never call your blood doping kit 'Jesus' otherwise you will be using the Lord's name in vein.

wishiwasmerckx said...

So, I am embarrassed to admit that I still take Time magazine (yes, last week's news delivered by post).

Reading this week's issue at lunch today. OMFG, on p.22, they review a stationary bike called the "Peloton." They note that it has magnetic resistance "instead of breaking pads."

Dave said...

D. Pearce at 1:57 - Thanks - enjoy!

You know, we're starting to get an unsightly buildup of Davids/Daves around here. We might have to sew numbers on our magnificent Snob Caps to reduce the confusion. Some say all Daves think alike, when they think at all. Tantamount to racism!

BamaPhred said...

Naturally, I procrastinate to order woo-hoo speed cap, to get all of the early adopters and cap hogs out of the way, order with extreme smugness today, and I get an email saying THEY ARE OUT OF WOO-HOO SPEED CAPS AGAIN! Yes, I'll wait. It looks like a Fall colorway any-woo-hoo.

crosspalms said...

I believe that foldie rider is using a Light Emitting Bagel (LEB) device. Look at the bagel. Look how bright the center is. It probably uses the same power source as the mystery motor.

McFly, my wife and I were in DC a few years ago (not on bikes, but they looked like fun) and got just as lost. The GPS in her iPhone saved us. We were a couple of goofs staring at the blue dot, trying to decide if we were going the right way. Diagonal streets are the devil's work.

Spokey said...

not all daves. the son-in-law plays golf. doesn't even own a bike. requires princess' assistance for foto-graphies. wouldn't know what you're talking about if you said 'citi bike'. But is intimate with citi field.

Spokey said...

bama

maybe they'll have all the bugs worked out for cap 3.0. I'm thinking of ordering mine with the hidden motor.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Students of history realize that DC was laid out by Pierre L'Enfant, born in Paris. Thus the similarity.

DC was designed to avoid the more common and convenient grid design so that an invading army could not march directly to the White House.

Anonymous said...

bikesnob, are you getting tired of this whole blog thing?

Anonymous said...

Here in Québec City a cyclist was run over by police and killed for salmoning down a one-way street (in a neighbourhood with only one-way streets that even I salmon cause if you don't salmon, you will get lost) ! The police squealed the tires, put the car into reverse and ran over him twice and then got out of their cars and arrested the man they just hit all the while he was spitting blood. I go down these streets regularly. Quebec City cyclists are very poorly organized in terms of demanding equal rights and there is little in the way of cyclist activism here, as opposed to Montreal where the cycling community is very active. What is published by the Mail Online pretty much sums up the Québécois press. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2744133/Cyclist-died-police-car-struck-backed-claim-witnesses-say-officers-arrested-man-48-ground-spitting-blood.html

Swatter said...

One would think that with a light so brilliantly bright the rider would be at risk of being suffocated by the attracted moths at dusk... I hate moths... I REALLY hate those creepy, big-eyed antennae crowned, dust covered insects. In fact I don my moth-proof unigarment, with attached beekeeper's hood, if ever I have to venture out of my wire mesh barricaded bedroom in order to re-supply my stock of peanut butter.

Anonymous said...

Conspiracy my ass, it's plain as day. When he crashes the bike stops moving, with his leg on it, until he lifts his leg. Then the bike moves and literally accelerates into the turn. Guilty on all counts.

Flyover BC said...

It's late but I need to do an analysis of this comment by Fathead, aka limpdick.

"I cannot tell you how many constituents over the years have told me that they are taking up bicycling for pleasure and exercise".

Limpdick can't count.

"I have told them not to do so.."

People should engage in neither pleasure nor exercise.

"...But they usually do not listen..."

Nobody listens to politicians, except their toadies.

"...90 percent of those people eventually were hit by an automobile..."

Although Limpdick can't count, he does makes up statistics.

"...many like your mother with serious physical injuries..."

Limpdick realizes he has no argument, so he starts the "yo' mama" jokes.

Ya'll have a good weekend and ride safe.

Anonymous said...

Advice for the portaging of bicycles on the NYC rail transport infrastructures in the absence of hooks or other apparatuses to which a bicycle may be secured during transit:

Flip it upside down and let it rest on its saddle and handlebars. Most anywhere on the carriage. Fellow passengers can more easily negotiate the navigation around an upside down bike than an upright one and tend to give it a wider berth anyway as it's the "dirty underside" which is right there in their faces threatening to soil their expensive wardrobe.

This method came to me like a revelation when I witnessed a ruffian transporting his BMX bike in such a manner. He sullenly stood guard by his upturned bike, but one could avail oneself of any seating nearby.



semi serious cyclist said...

"That bike is dope!" takes on a whole new meaning!

Flyover BC said...

Ya' know, I thought the bagel was a metaphorical sphincter and photogenic substitution for fathead.

Anus horribilis said...

I sphinc, therefore i am.

Anonymous said...

Back to the motorized bike: the conservation of momentum theory would seem to be null after watching the rear wheel being ground into the pavement for a significant distance. That would, I would think, stop the wheel from turning, right?

Anonymous said...

Today I'm wearing the ring of Life. It is the White Ring. (Do you DC Comics, at all?) I can travel intergalactically in hyperspace and I can survive in inhospitable environments, ie. deep space, underwater. Park ave and 6th, and i have the power of flight. Kickstarter?

Dave said...

So - you're saying your White Ring caused that bike to rotate after it had stopped, in response to the rotation of the Milky Way? Is that what you're saying?

What we need is some high-level video analysis to find out if that rear wheel was still spinning and just how fast. Is Earl Warren still alive?

Spokey said...

it's obvious that the wheel spins because of the expansion of the universe. If we're wrong about the amount of dark matter then the big crunch will cause it to spin the other way.

Fred of the Sea said...

Conservation of momentum ain't a theory, it's a principle of Newtonian mechanics, a mechanics which has been good enough for Freds of all kinds since the dawn of Fred-dom. Now if you want to extend the understanding of bike doping to the quantum and cosmo-ontological domains, fine, but be prepared for Fredism on a truly transcendental scale.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

QUIZ LESS

Comment deleted said...

Probabilistic weight weenieism.

Anonymous said...

To Fred of the Sea: Perhaps I should have been more precise. Obviously conservation of momentum has been established. My comment was based on those who are theorizing that the wheel's continued rotation is what caused the bike to leap forward when picked up. Since it seems clear that the rear wheel was being ground into the pavement until rider and bike came to a stop, my comment was based on whether or not the wheel's rotation would already have been stopped when the bike was picked up. My apologies for not making that clear.

Anonymous said...

"Lots" of NYPD officers live in Suffolk County?

Um, I thought that except for the 10% token "black cop" quota, you can't even take the qualifying exam unless you own a home in Massapequa.

babble on said...

Car 54? Car 54? I have a salmoning cyclist here, and I need back-up!

mile high state said...

GOOD NITE

Anonymous said...

Well then by all means back-up. If you need it. Wait who needs it? You or him?

Uncle Dan said...

Snob - glad you were at the IMBA Summit. You were funny as hell!

Fred of the Sea said...

Anon @ 1221, I am with you all the way. I only wished to caution others that taking taking bikeen into the quantum realm could lead to ramifying complications never envisioned even by the likes of Flann O'Brien.

JlRb said...

oh what the fuck did I wake up to find?

JLRB said...

an uncontested 100?

JLRB said...

Snob -the Damp Chamois of Denial - Gold!

JLRB said...

That Quebec City murder is just so fucked up - and
"Sgt. Ann Mathieu of the SQ would not confirm the witness accounts, but said that investigators are considering them as possible hypotheses."

Possible Hypotheses are fine when fucking around about mini-motors in bikes - not cops killing cyclists for fish riding

JLRB said...

I guess running down cyclists is a natural phenomena...

The words hypothesis, law, and theory refer to different kinds of statements, or sets of statements, that scientists make about natural phenomena. A hypothesis is a proposition that attempts to explain a set of facts in a unified way. It generally forms the basis of experiments designed to establish its plausibility. Simplicity, elegance, and consistency with previously established hypotheses or laws are also major factors in determining the acceptance of a hypothesis. Though a hypothesis can never be proven true (in fact, hypotheses generally leave some facts unexplained), it can sometimes be verified beyond reasonable doubt in the context of a particular theoretical approach. A scientific law is a hypothesis that is assumed to be universally true. A law has good predictive power, allowing a scientist (or engineer) to model a physical system and predict what will happen under various conditions. New hypotheses inconsistent with well-established laws are generally rejected, barring major changes to the approach. An example is the law of conservation of energy, which was firmly established but had to be qualified with the revolutionary advent of quantum mechanics and the uncertainty principle. A theory is a set of statements, including laws and hypotheses, that explains a group of observations or phenomena in terms of those laws and hypotheses. A theory thus accounts for a wider variety of events than a law does. Broad acceptance of a theory comes when it has been tested repeatedly on new data and been used to make accurate predictions. Although a theory generally contains hypotheses that are still open to revision, sometimes it is hard to know where the hypothesis ends and the law or theory begins. Albert Einstein's theory of relativity, for example, consists of statements that were originally considered to be hypotheses (and daring at that). But all the hypotheses of relativity have now achieved the authority of scientific laws, and Einstein's theory has supplanted Newton's laws of motion. In some cases, such as the germ theory of infectious disease, a theory becomes so completely accepted, it stops being referred to as a theory.

JLRB said...

RIP GUY

I hope the cops choke on their donuts

Anonymous said...

Damn helment thing again...

Spoking Gun said...

That bike was motor doped, no matter how you spin it.

Holy Roller said...

The evolution theory. You see it is just a theory. It's not like you talk about creationism as the the creationism theory. So there you go, God made the whole shooting match in seven days and if that sticks in your craw then you just don't have enough faith. Slam dunk for Jesus!

McFly said...

Well RideHer Hedgedoll just blasted up to the top of a big ass mountain wearing go to hell sunglasses big as a iPad. I believe we all know the lens are solar panels that feed energy to the armature that is rotating furiously in his rear wheel.

semi serious cyclist said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
semi serious cyclist said...

Hesjedal may have been trying a lead out and "Turned it up to eleven" in an attempt to pass on the outside. The Motorcycle videographers now have marching instructions to handily run over any bike involved in a crash that continues to churn out wattage sans rider.

arrianna huffington said...

Dear Mr. Snob: My 2 favorite websites are the Huffingtonpost, and bikesnobnyc. Both have lively content and an ireweverent attitude. Both benefit from the unpaid contributers. The only thing missing in bsnyc vis a vis (fr) huffpost is sideboob and celebrity wardrobe malfunctions. Excuse me; the two things missing in bsnyc vis a vis (fr) huffpost are sideboob, celebrity wardrobe malfunctions and hyperbolic headlines...bugger...amongst the things missing from bsnyc vis a vis (fr) huffpost are sideboob, celebrity wardrobe malfunctions, hyperbolic headlines and a fanatical devotion to the pope...anyway, if you'd just include more tits (a recumbabe retrospective would be nice) I could block huffpost from my browser and onl;y look at bsnyc. thank you ps with all the canucks on this blog I shouldn't have to explain french

babble on said...

Dear Arianna - I'm with you: irrewevewence is undewated, more boobs is always a good thing, and Oui. Fwench is good, too. Specially Fwench kissing.

Mmmmm kissing and boobs. The good things in life. :)

Ar said...

Babel-you spelled ireweverent wong

BlueBalls said...

Maybe its been too long, but that bagel is, shall we say, inviting?

Spokey said...

gone for two days and you haven't solved the biek doping yet.

sounds like babs is right. needs more boobs and french kissing. get a bunch of that and you'll grok it right

Anonymous said...

Hey bike snob,
speaking of the shitty world, I just noticed these two similar events, one local to me:

http://www.wmur.com/news/bicyclist-dies-after-crashing-into-car-door/27583496#!bRdzSo

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2014/09/07/accomplished-theater-actress-molly-glynn-dies-after-being-struck-by-tree/

Apparently they are the same in the eyes of the law

McFly said...

Boob kissing......knob gobbling.....what about shifting? You guys need to stay on topic. I put some 2-way Nashtybar Soho pettles on the Fuggee and her and tbe boy love them. To clip or not to clip? It's nice for when they just want to run street kicks.

babble on said...

Yer pretty shifty, McFly... but at least you can spell.

Shifty said...

Someone mention shifters?

dancesonpedals said...

babel...I must check my spelling


Shifty...nice picture, but I was in a crowded workroom..give a fella some warning

dancesonpedals said...

Hey McFly: if you're ever in Schoharie county NY there's a warm welcome for you at
gobbler's knob

babble on said...

LOL! That's right. There's fun for everyone at gobbler's knob.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

The bottle has the silhouette of a runner on it. Surprised 6 cyclists drank the stuff. Must of all been tri-dorks.

Babble is way to young to have any idea of what Car 54 is all about.

Paris's street system was drastically re-engineered in the 1860's by Baron Haussmann under Napoleon II. Giant wide boulevards were built out from the center of Paris like the spokes on a wheel. None of this was for mass transportation purposes. It was so the army could move quickly to put down rebellions by the masses who rose up against the clueless every decade or so back in that era.

JLRB said...

Idiot doesn't lock an electric bike with predictable results

grog said...

124 and happy just to finish.

muhammad yasir bawani said...

Find home based jobs of link building, facebook marketing, add marketing, add clicking and much more jobs.
www.jobzcorner.com

Anonymous said...

good
resep obat untuk kutilan di daerah kelamin pria
resep obat kutilan di daerah kelamin pria
resep obat untuk kutilan daerah kelamin pria
resep obat untuk kutilan di kelamin pria
resep obat untuk kutil di daerah kelamin pria
obat alami kutil di kemaluan
obat yang alami kutil di kemaluan
obat alami kutil kemaluan
pengobatan alami kutil di kemaluan
obat alami dan ampuh kutil di kemaluan
Obat Herbal Kutil di Kemaluan
pengobatan Herbal Kutil di Kemaluan
Obat Herbal Kutil Kemaluan
Obat Kutil di Kemaluan
Obat Herbal Kutil di Kelamin
obat tradisional kutil di kemaluan
obat tradisional kutil kemaluan
pengobatan ampuh tradisional kutil di kemaluan
obat alami tradisional kutil di kemaluan
obat tradisional mujarab kutil di kemaluan
obat alternatif kutil di kemaluan
obat alternatif untuk penyakit kutil di kemaluan
obat alternatif kutil kemaluan
obat tradisional alternatif kutil di kemaluan
obat alternatif kutil di kelamin
resep obat kutil di kemaluan
resep obat kutil kemaluan
resep obat untuk penyakit kutil di kemaluan
resep pengobatan kutil di kemaluan
resep obat kutil di kelamin
kumpulan obat kutil di kemaluan
kumpulan obat kutil kemaluan
kumpulan obat kutil di kelamin
kumpulan pengobatan kutil di kemaluan
kumpulan obat alami kutil di kemaluan
Jual Obat Kutil di Kemaluan
Jual pengobatan ampuh Kutil di Kemaluan
Jual Obat tradisional Kutil di Kemaluan
Jual Obat alternatif Kutil di Kemaluan
Jual Obat Kutil Kemaluan
artikel obat kutil di kemaluan
artikel obat kutil kemaluan
artikel obat kutil di kelamin
artikel obat ampuh kutil di kemaluan
artikel obat tradisional kutil di kemaluan

herbal said...

thank's
Mengapa Kemaluan Pria Keluar Nanah Kental?
Mengapa Kemaluan Pria Nyeri dan Keluar Nanah Kental?
Mengapa Ujung Kemaluan Pria Keluar Nanah Kental?
Mengapa Kemaluan Pria Keluar Nanah Yang Kental?
Mengapa Kemaluan Pria Keluar Seperti Nanah Kental?

kurnia tani said...

gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci partai
gantungan kunci bahan akrilik
gantungan kunci
pusat gantungan kunci jogja
kado cantik
cara pemesanan ganci
testimoni ganci
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci
papan strategi
gantungan kunci pemain
cara pemesanan
papan strategi bola
gantungan kunci pemain bola
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci 2 muka
gantungan kunci foto
gantungan kunci foto
gantungan kunci akrilik untuk kenangan

kurnia tani said...

gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci dealer
gantungan kunci bahan akrilik cetak
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci kado
gantungan kunci akrilik untuk hadiah
gantungan kunci
grosir souvenir cantik
gantungan kunci cindera mata
souvenir dan gantungan kunci unik
gantungan kunci
grosir souvenir online
grosir souvenir cantik dan murah
grosir souvenir unik
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci jogja
gantungan kunci
pesan gantungan kunci akrilik untuk
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci hotel

kurnia tani said...

gantungan kunci akrilik untuk
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci cinderamata
pesan gantungan kunci akrilik
gantungan kunci
pusat souvenir jogja
gantungan kunci dan souvenir
cinderamata ganci
kado gantungan kunci
papan strategi bola
cara pemesanan ganci
testimoni pelanggan ganci
gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci aklilik
souvenir cntik murah
souvenir dan gantungan kunci unik
cara order souvenir
testimoni pelanggan gancijogja
pesan gantungan kunci akrilik
pesan gantungan kunci
gantungan kunci akrilik

Anonymous said...

good
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur
Jual Obat Wasir Manjur
Jual Obat Wasir Yang Paling Manjur
Jual Obat Wasir Yang Manjur
Resep Obat Wasir Manjur
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur
Resep Obat Wasir Yang Paling Manjur
Resep Alami Obat Wasir Paling Manjur
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur Apotik
PengobatanWasir Paling Manjur di Apotik
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur dari Apotik
Obat Alami Wasir Paling Manjur di Apotik
Obat Wasir Manjur Resep Dokter
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur Dokter
Obat Wasir Paling Manjur
Obat Alami Wasir Paling Manjur Resep Dokter
Kumpulan Obat Wasir Yang Paling Manjur
Kumpulan Obat Wasir
Kumpulan Obat Wasir Manjur
Kumpulan Obat Alami Wasir Paling Manjur
Artikel Obat Wasir Manjur
Artikel Obat Wasir Yang Paling Manjur
Artikel Obat Wasir
Artikel Obat Untuk Wasir Paling Manjur