Friday, August 15, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz and Out-Of-Office Announcement!

As I've mentioned repeatedly, I'm headed out to Steamboat Springs, Colorado for the IMBA "World Smit:"


If you're unfamiliar with IMBA, they're a boutique company who make custom decals for Subarus.


This means that after today I won't be posting again until Monday, August 25th, at which point I will return to relate my experiences to you:


I can't promise that there won't be an additional small break after that so I can dump the last few shovelfuls of dirt over summer's coffin, but then again I can't promise that there will be, either.

Read that last sentence again and it still won't make any sense.

Also, if you're wondering why today's the last post when the Smit doesn't start until Wednesday the 20th, please bear in mind that I currently look like this:


So I'm looking at some serious barber time before they'll even let me through security at the airport, which is to say nothing of pulling together a decent wardrobe and all the rest of it.

I'll also be riding a bike in Colorado at some point, so I'd better find a pair of shorts that aren't worn to transparency.

This is the point where you remind me again that I'm sure to die from the altitude.

Honestly, my only hope at this point is that IMBA sees what I look like these days, realizes they made a huge mistake, and rescinds their invitation.

In the meantime, let's all join hands, close our eyes, and send our good vibes to Mario Cipollini, who has been hit by a car:


According to La Gazzetta dello Sport the retired rider, who was the world’s top sprinter for many years, was taken to hospital in Lucca after a car hit him while he was on his bike. The driver was turning and didn’t see the rider, who reportedly has injuries to his knee and the quadriceps tendon.

Uh, the driver didn't see him?  That is utterly ridiculous.  How the hell do you not see The Cipollini?


The silver lining in all of this is that the article calls it a "training accident," which can only mean that Cipollini is mounting yet another comeback, though given his English that could also be a simple misunderstanding:


("I want to mount, then come on back.  What hotel you stay?")

Either way, Cipollini has been placed in bed restraints after pinching the hospital staff, which is perfectly fine with Cipo because he's "into that."

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you're better than everyone else, and if you're wrong you'll see inspiration.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and see you on Monday, August 25th!


--Wildcat Rock Machine










(The Cervélo Douche)

1) Which is not an actual quote from the Cervélo Douche?

--"I do a meditation. I can do up to one hour. I come out of it feeling high. It affects all the chemicals of your brain, from the endorphins to the serotonin. I have a fireplace."
--"I take my car to go to the bagel shop. I take the Ferrari. I get a rush a little bit, zero to 60. When you are doing it in three and a half seconds, I love that. This happens around 8:30ish."
--"After that I usually like to go on a bike ride. It’s a Cervélo, light and cool."
--"To beat the traffic I head back into town at midnight.  Ferrari again, Cervélo on the trunk rack.  The sound of the V12 in the Midtown Tunnel hardens my nipples.  Emerging in Manhattan, I cruise down 2nd Avenue, throwing stale Hamptons bagels at the homeless."






2) The crux of Washington Post columnist Courtland Milloy's latest anti-bike argument seems to be that people should not be allowed to ride them because he is an idiot.

--True
--False





3) What is Courtland Milloy wearing?

--A "Fly6 Bro"
--A "GoPro Manssiere"
--A "Polaroid Girdle"
--Surgical scrubs and a pacemaker






4) What is this?

--A 1960 Campagnolo saddle alignment tool
--A Park Tool FAG-2 frame alignment gauge
--A 1990 Cipollini genital alignment tool
--A late 19th century pennyfarthing wheel truing gauge






(Dick break technology has trickled down.  Way down.)

5) Disc brake rotors are:

--"...like circular saw blades of death."
--"...like spinning knives that have been heated in a 500-degree oven."
--"...like searing hot pie plates of Hades."
--"...like Blackie Lawless's codpiece."





6) Bicycle proctology can be very lucrative.

--True
--False




(Cyclist being ticketed for wearing a tank top that is too "mimey.")

7) The NYPD's latest bike crackdown is called:

--"Operation Safe Cycle"
--"Operation Spin Cycle"
--"Operation Top Tube Pad"
--"Operation F.R.E.D." (Frisk, Reprimand, Educate, and Deride.)



***Special Dutchies Rubbing Your Nose In It-Themed Bonus Video!***


"THEIR NOT WEARING HELMENTS THEIR ALL GOING TO DIE!!!"
--An American

498 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 400 of 498   Newer›   Newest»
Flyover BC said...

I missed it! Do I still qualify for mucho kisses?

Always, but they'll have to be creepy internet style.

Flyover BC said...


Now to see what's happening

Leroy's dog with a post birthday hangover?

Spokey said...

I've got flyover with the 200

congrats flyover.

but screw it. most agressive to babs. tossing kisses babs anyway for a hotly and confusing and contested sprint.

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

leroy has been pretty quiet.

I suspect that dog is up to no good


hope leroy got lots of present uitgur

Flyover BC said...

Yep, in Fanta Se.

I may move back to Abq, if I can't find an affordable house pretty soon.

So what's happening with covering all 50 states. I'm clueless, as usual.

Flyover BC said...

Spent a wild 4th of July weekend in Organ, NM.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Did somebody say spaghetti?

Q: What's the difference between a Jewish woman and spaghetti?

A: Spaghetti moves when you eat it...

Anonymous said...

I've been to Fanta Se. My mouth is still burned by green chilis ten years later.
Went skiing in Taos, had WAY too many clothes on. Pretty warm.

Flyover BC said...

Speaking of drunk dogs.

Way back in the last millennium, my roomies and I had a keg party.

Next morning one of the dogs, Xanadu, was passed out with her face in the drip pan and big puddle under her tail.

She was o.k. but didn't like beer much after that.

Another time, while we were at the neighborhood bar, Xanadu ate two ounces ($20) of herbal products.

She was face down with both legs and her ears straight out to the sides, with a pile of shyte under her tail.

The owner of the dog and the herbal products were not the same, so there was a lot of angry talk about reimbursement, while the rest of us laughed our assets off.

Artful Dodger said...

Would baby Jesus need to wear a helmet if he was being carted about on Joseph's bike or would a legion of angels protect his cranium from harm? I wish I had a legion of angels watching over me. It seems I just have to hunker down and try to avoid the vehicular missiles that come my way.

Flyover BC said...

DB,

Chile is addictive. Your body releases b-endorphins when you eat it. That's why it' so popular here. It takes a little more every time to get the rush.

You can work your way up to genuinely hot chile and get a rush every time you eat it.


Anonymous said...

Good to know, Flyover. Need to do Baby steps with your chilis. Not used to them up here.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Being as Joseph was a carpenter I wonder if he woulda rocked a bamboo bike.

Spokey said...

but jesus was a carpenter too so he can build his own bamboo biekcycle

Anonymous said...

I think Jesus is from AZ.

McFly said...

I'm a Tennessee Boy but I will commute north to Beaverlick, KY to cover the region. I understand they have some homegrown tasty southern treats that'll leave a chin drippin with happiness.

Anonymous said...

The Snob has the Midwest pretty well covered. West coast and Mid-Coastal too. Interesting.

leroy said...

My dog saved us from bears on a ride today. He says he wrote about it on something called Tweeter.

Shirley said...

Artful Dodger - In general anyone who wears a helment has relinquished their faith in The Baby Jesus to keep them safe, so no helment for any good Christian/Christ.

David Pearce said...

Hi BikesnobNYC!!!!!!

I see you've let us down, again. Another Monday, and another blog post left unfulfilled!!!!!

Until then, the rest of you grunts might want to mosey on over the Recumbent Conspiracy Theorist's blog, esp. his fascinating tour of the Ohio State Reformatory. I am telling you, "they really built those places, dint they?!" And I meant that even with the supposed misspelling.

Dear Conspiracy Theorist, any info on the camera / film you used? I hope you post the details on your own site only, forcing interested parties to visit your fine site.

Dave Pearce,
Washington, D.C. & Charlottesville, Va.

ce said...

Oppressed

ce said...

Oh, and you can add New South Wales to the United Numbskulls.

McFly said...

Usually Tuesday has no feel, but thanks to RCT's 'bent update I started with an excellent read. No foot retention RCT? Speaking of 13 year olds....the one I own and myself did a semi-local TT yesterday. They have it in the town that I am employed (20 mile commute/we drove/don't judge) and he has not rode much this summer and cranked out a 17.6 mph and I was proud. We found a mid-late 90's 52 cm Trek 5200 OCLV last night on CL for $295(excellent cond) and I hope he still has not sold it. We must but it. [If your keepin score I did a 21+ on the TT]

McFly said...

*buy it. Buting it sounds painful. maybe your into that....that's cool.

commentatorbot_097135 said...

McFly,

Trek 5200 OCLV for $300 is good if it's low use. If it's got some wear, maybe not such a good deal especially if the brifters have been ground up with epic triathlete falls.

Be sure to put a smaller outer ring on the crank for Junior. You don't want Junior's growth plates messed up turning big gears. How small? Maybe a 46t? Don't take my word for it. Check it out.

Remember the golden rule of parent-kid workouts, keep it short and let them set the pace. A little caffeine at the end is not a bad idea for Junior. Just don't tell your SO.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

McFly -Nice job! to you and the adolescent human that you own.

Nope, No foot retention on my bent. On my first recumbent I did use clicky pedals and shoes because my feet would slowly slip and want to fall off. My current bike the HP Velotecnik for whatever reason (precision German engineering and ergonomics) my feet stay planted and don't slip. I just wear a comfy pair of old running shoes. Or sometimes my sandals of course.

Hi David Pearce thanks for the shout out. The camera is just a crummy old Cannon Powershot that has a broken lens cover that if I don't manually flick open with my finger it leaves a big black shadow spot on my pic. Some of the photos on my blog I take with my cell phone- a Galaxy III Its got a nice camera built in.

Yeah that Reformatory is quite a place. Haunted with ghosts and everything. Gives me the creeps for a couple days after I visit.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Does anybody got one of those twatter things? Maybe Snob put an update on it. Sure would be nice to know he made it safe out there to the smutfest.

I hope his report has lots of hot chicks and sex toys like when babble went to that one convention up in Van.

Bryan said...

Looks like plenty of others are suffering from withdrawal.
I got my woohoohoo cap yesterday! bangarang. How'd you crack your crabon bike WCRM?

McFly said...

It's an 11 mile loop so no worries. He reached deep into an icy cooler full of Bud lights and Lime-arita's and came out with an ice cold Coke. He did not even drink it with his pizza. He said, "I am really looking forward to this Coke and I am going to savor it by itself."

I was cracking up.

Spokey said...

leroy

I see deer but no bear. what gives. I'm thinking that dog eat your P&B and just told you it was for the bear.

Spokey said...

RCT

I'm with you. I know some people do, but I ain't lugging a bunch of lenses by biek and I think my galaxy s4 mini takes better pics than my little canon powershot S200. My only complaints are lack of controls and the screen gets washed out in the sun. Sometimes I move to the shade just to see what I'm doing.

Anonymous said...

I have one of those Tweeter things and Snob has been sipping white wine spritzers while listening to Samhain in between training rides for World Smit. He's probably flying overhead us flyover people right now.
The real action is over at Leroy's dog's new Tweeter place.

Olle Nilsson said...

Also, he's playing with his phone while riding and taking inadvertent cockpit shots. If the altitude doesn't do him in, the bexting will (biking + texting = bexting??? there's gotta be a better word for that?).

Olle Nilsson said...

Seriously, the image for my capcha didn't load, I typed 1234 and my comment posted. BS>effort. Question should be "please prove you ARE a robot"

1904 Cadardi said...

McFly,

Choosing the fizzy brown nectar of the Gods (a Coke) after a race is the sign of a true cyclist.

Flyover BC said...

I met a dog yesterday treed a bear earlier that morning, or so his people said. He didn't look that brave, but was otherwise a great.

If that was you Leroy, I pictured you much younger, hipper, and fitter.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I ain't seen multiple comment pages before!!
Ms. Babble's avatar picture on the left reminds me - Happy Double Century to you!

I got a Trek 5200 a cupla years ago for about $900? Has MaVEEK Heliums on it and Shimano 9 speed. is in nice shape for 'vintage carbon'.

My regular commuters all have rear wheel issues due to my hi torq / hi fat content and NYC road abuse. Been off the Langster fixee for so long I keep checking to see what gear I am in at lights!! That has a front wheel issue. If you see a dark grey Langster with a red anodized front rim, say Hi (if I am on the bike of course! No need to say hi to the bike itself unless you're seriously anthropomorphic and slightly homoginized).

Anywayze, have a good one !!

vsk

McFly said...

For $295 (Who knows...maybe less) I can't get hurt. Bonus = Full Ultegra. Minus = It's set up for TT with Bar-ends. I got some bars, have to score some 5700 brifters. Knowing him he will want to leave it TT style.

babble on said...

DB - what is your tweeterer handle?

Spokey said...

ah

barends

bet you can't shift just one

BamaPhred said...

I bought some cane sugar sweetened Mexican Coca Cola coke. In the glass bottle. It was a reminder of why I won't drink the HFCS stuff they sell today. I don't know about the health effects, they say it's bad, MMMKKK? But it for sure doesn't taste like Coke.

JLRB said...

249 Scranuses

Anonymous said...

Babs:
@diamondbob1
Check out @leroys-dog

Flyover BC said...

Nowadays, Coke tastes like Pepsi.

If I wanted a Pepsi, I'd buy Pepsi.

Orestes Munn said...

Fly6 video highlights from the Cat VI Northeast Regionals. Skip to 40s.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTTGroH8BZI

Anonymous said...

Tilford has a kink in his neck.

JLRB said...

SeaFred -

Looks like the Fred who signaled and moved over bumped wheels with mouth-wide-open Fred, causing a 3 Fred pile-up (maybe more?).

I know that road ...

Orestes Munn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Orestes Munn said...

It's the riding away from the carnage without looking back that I find most impressive.

I take that road when I want to fred out on the way to work.

JLRB said...

At first I thought the falling-down Fred must have done so without touching don't-look-back Fred, but at about 47s it does look like slight wheel cross contact occurred.

The temptation to suck a wheel overcame falling-down Fred's self-preservation.

McFly said...

I keep getting Hot Asian Beauties(booties???) ads right above the commentering box and its very distracting. I must have a virus. The good kind.

Your Work Webmaster is Watching You said...

The ads you get are a product of the sites you recently visited

C. said...

Ah Cippolini jokes never get old. Plus bonus bike commuting porn from The Netherlands.

Biking over there is as awesome as Cippolini is slimy.

P.S. Scranus

Spokey said...

i blame don't-look-back-Fred. It's the responsibility of the fred switching lanes, turning or whatever to ensure she can do it safely

Spokey said...

ads right above the commentering box


The ads you get are a product of the sites you recently visited

i don't get any ads above the comment box.

Note to self - check for pulse

scranus said...

scranus scranus

Comment deleted said...

Does anybody else enliven the repetitiveness of bikecycle commuting by trying to optimize their 0-20(+) launches?

I realize it probably makes me look like a dickhole to the other commuters, but they are long behind me, and frankly, I don't give a damn.

Comment deleted said...

This also reminds me of how I feel about other bike commuters.

I regard the ones that are slower than me as sluggards.

All riders faster than me are dickholes, and need to chill the fuck out.

If you ride at the same speed as me, well, that's just creepy.

Every Other Commuter in the World said...

Comment Deleted - That is funny (and, sadly, captures my view of the world around me)

1904 Cadardi said...

Fred O'Sea

Call me a pretentious ex-racer if you will, but that's why I don't like to ride around Fred's in T-shirts. You can assume they have no experience racing in a pack. Looks like a good assumption in this case.

I hope nobody was hurt too badly.

Spokey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Spokey said...

is this leroy's dog taking over the robot? Will Skynet retaliate and kill us all?

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Spokey @ 10:32 AM --

All I know is my dog said they were bear and he'd distract them with my sandwich while I rode in the other direction.

Spokey said...

leroy

maybe you misunderstood.. They were bare. McFly would have understood that

McFly said...

2 hunny?

Count of Sprint said...

I a feelin anuder sprint coming on.

Dave said...

I tend to enliven the repetitiveness of bikecycle commuting by engaging in secret racing, which involves courses and rules of my own choosing, so that quite often stronger riders get disqualified for safety violations or stylistic schweinerei, or in some cases just for being assholes, and I get the motivational benefit of really pushing to stay ahead them or at least keep them in sight. And my own safety is enhanced somewhat, since I give myself points when I do the right thing and they don't.

BamaPhred said...

Sure sign of a wasted youth when all I can think of about the bear story is this:
(Same tune as Sonny James' "Running Bear")

My girl friend called said come around
Cause my husband’s out of town
Time I got there, he walked in
Please notify my next of kin

Running bare, through the bushes
Dodging bullets from tree to tree
Running bare, through the bushes
Running bare, what they called me

Orestes Munn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave said...

Fred - my wife was a Foreign Service brat born in Austria, so 'committing a schweinerei' is a common phrase in our household. And it leads to the impressive idiom, 'Schwartzeneggerian Schweinerei', which of course is defined as impregnating the maid and thereby derailing your rosy dreams of world domination, etc.

JLRB said...

1904 Cad -
So maybe t-shirt don't look back Fred could be blamed for the mouth-wide-open-fallin-down-Fred crash, but MWOFDFred appeared to be a wheel sucker that wasn't paying attention to other people on an open ride signalling that they were about to pull into his space, or was to worried about losing the wheel suck to make way for someone in front of him. T-shirt or lycra

Orestes Munn said...

Love that, Dave. Bei uns zu hause, it was used by German refugee father and adopted by my mother to describe anything bad in a messy way, as well as some guilty pleasures.

BamaPhred said...

It feels like a Weednesday.

Dave said...

An interesting 'secret race' this morning: I was passed by a middle-aged fred-like rider. At first I thought he had the worst leg action I'd ever seen, and then I realized that there was something seriously wrong with his right leg. At normal rpms it would wobble erratically so much that the whole bike would veer unpredictable a foot or two out of line; at regular intervals he slowed his cadence a lot and tried very hard to straighten the leg motion out, and the cycle would repeat. So I gave him extra points for riding with cleats (and with aero bars!) at all in this situation; but later he DQ-ed himself on several unsafe road crossings, and I stopped taking pity and passed him permanently after a while, awarding myself the clear win.

commentatorbot_0974325 said...

McFly!

Use the bar ends. That way Junior gets some short-reach brake levers. It's the right thing to do until the growing really kicks in.

Don't forget to keep the stem shorter too for now. It is easier to handle the bike. Tell Junior that's how Sagan got so good.

commentatorbot_0974325 said...

To be clear McFly, trim maybe 1cm off the end of the drop bars to get the bar end shifters to fit right.

I wrap my bar end shifter cables all the way up the bar so it exits like the break cable. You can do it old school and have it leave the bar at the bottom of the drop too.

The former is a little slower shifting, but not much. Just don't drill holes in the bar to run the cable. Having the exit hole in the bar along the top is bad engineering.

Comment deleted said...

Dave, I am intrigued by this "secret racing" idea, and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

McFly said...

Congrats Dave. Maybe you can have an imaginary podio gal like they employ at the US Pro Challenge. Huge tits and blonde hair. Aw yiisssss.

cb, I will probably just leave it in TT format until the new of TT'ing wears off. We have an XS Fuji Newest 3.0 him and honey alternate on so the TT set up should not be a huge inconvience for now.

1904 Cadardi said...

JLRB,

Good point. MWOFDFred should have given T-Shirt Wearing Fred (TSWFred) the space to move in, or if he wanted to make a seriously pro Cat VI dick move, shoulder him into the curb.

One lesson here: If you don't want to crash, don't overlap wheels. (I learned the hard way and have a pretty gnarly looking scar on my leg where the screws when in.)

I'll revise my rules and say don't trust anyone (Fredly or otherwise) until you have observed from a safe distance for a good long while.

This "secret racing" thing sounds familiar. Are points awarded for passing someone that's huffing and puffing and greeting them in a normal voice?

Them: wheeze-gasp-cough-wheeze
Me: Hi, how-ya doing? Beautiful day isn't it? Have a great ride!

Hello Kitty said...

makin a come back

BamaPhred said...

Walter Mitty Style Racing. The blue haired lady on her cruiser in front of me is a GC contender and I'm a brash young racer fixing to drop her like a sack of hammers. Then reality sets in and I go to Waffle House.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bike Snob,

Could we please have your thoughts on this?
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/crankpump/crankpump-the-invisible-bike-pump
thanks a lot :)

1904 Cadardi said...

Just read WCRM twitter update asking "Is everyone on this flight to Denver a marijuana tourist or is this just how people from Colorado look?"

A) Probably
B) Yes

Spokey said...

BamaPhred DQ'd for mixed metaphors

drop her like a sack of hammers


damnit. leroy's dog is in my robot again. probably getting freaking PB all over the robot. yuuuuuuck

leroy said...

My dog informs me that any podium located at a Waffle House is fine by him.

Monday, I had a longish ride and stopped at Gypsy Donut in Nyack where an SUV nearly backed over my parked bike.

I was sitting out front with a donut, an Arnold Palmer, and someone else's dog. When I hollered "stop," the SUV driver looked confused and told me she wasn't anywhere near the dog.

My dog says it's good to see she had her priorities straight.

Orestes Munn said...

Slower than a sack of hammers in January.

JLRB said...

294, strapping on the man-bra-camera-mount hoping to catch a wreck in the sprint finish

JLRB said...

Are people headed to Colorado necessarily from Colorado?

JLRB said...

I wonder what the other people on the plane tweetired about BSNoB

JLRB said...

298 - mouth open, check; breathing hard, check; ignoring signal from sweaty t-shirt fred, check....

JLRB said...

299 - swinging out wildly to get around t-shirt Fred

Dooth said...

Last Friday I rode the Old Putnam Line, which Wildcat has featured... wore the BSNYC cap and nearly caused a few crashes.

JLRB said...

300 - wasn't that a movie about gladiator types?

Nooooooooo said...

and clipped at the line by Dooth

Flyover BC said...

I think the correct answer to WCRM's question is

That's the way all mountain bikers and snow boarders look, and its probably too late or early for snow boarders.

Flyover BC said...

The thing I hate most about secret Cat VI racing is when some guy decides to sprint/race the last three blocks of my 5 mile commute, and the shoals, and then screws up my timing for the lights, the traffic, intersections, etc.

The problem is that it's the other guy's first four blocks of his ride, and the only reason he's riding is because he's too lazy to walk five blocks. But he's always got the smug look of a TDF winner, after blocking from my turn or place in line.

Spokey said...

wow

a minute of inattention and I'm lost.

congrats dooth

JLRB foiled again

oh well, slog on to 400. at least i see a ups package in my robot instead of a PB thieving dog

Anonymous said...

Dooth out of nowhere!
Where have you been, my man?

Dooth said...

DB, I've been enjoying "hot fun in the summertime".

Olle Nilsson said...

Where'd Hello Kitty come from? Hey, you're over 40 now, more cougar than kitty. Maybe change your name to Hello Sailor.

Orestes Munn said...

The Cat VI racing thing is very strong for sea-freds who are fond of saying,, "Any two sailboats going in the same general direction are racing." However, we also have 175 pages of rules, including an appendix of actual case law, to keep things nice and friendly.

Spokey said...

Cat VI racing is for wimps

hottest thing around here is secret Cat VII racing. Won several just this afternoon.

Anonymous said...

"All the sudden I see two flats, and I’m saying, ‘There’s something is going on,’” Dr. Jim McCreight said.

Comment deleted said...

A weird key change? Jazz?

ken e. said...

looks like a 13, i'm down with a little improvisation.

JLRB said...

someone forwarded me another Robin Williams Bicycling Related Article

ken e. said...


here's a song to go with the williams piece.

don't know the japanese words for blown mind, but they just came through van on sunday.

BORIS ROCKS

Cog Cognitate said...

Question: On a single speed bike is it better to have a big front chainring to a big rear cog or a smaller front chainring to a smaller rear cog? The ratio is similar but does size matter? I've seen trial bikes with tiny front rings and track bikes with massive front rings. What's a duder to do?

McFly said...

42 x 16.....size does matter. You want a big one up front but if your going in the back a smaller one will make things nicer.

Dave said...

Sure, secret racing is totally solipsistic or even onanistic, but you know y'all do it. The rules are completely subjective, but of course if you go around telling yourself, "I totally dominated that kid on the little tricycle." your lameness might spill into real life. So instead you create an elaborate set of reasons why that shiny road punk dropped you like a bag of hammers - he's got at least twenty years on you, and his bike weighs ten pounds less, and he doesn't mind dying pointlessly, he's got no kids, he shaves every hair off his body once a week - whatever. Then when he starts to goof off on the last long open stretch and you pass him, YOU SCORE BIG! The large-breasted floozy meets you at the finish line,, wearing very little, and the champagne spray blasts that little right off. Never mind that he's speaking normally and you are sucking wind like a furnace.

Anonymous said...

Secret scranus

Spokey said...

thanks a lot dave

i think i'm going back to McFly's comment.


robot got rid of that dog and says aicirne you

1904 Cadardi said...

Dave,

When sprinting against little kids somehow no matter how much I throw the bike and bob and weave and make a big show of it yet I always manage to loose. That's the proper way to way to race groms, right?

Olle Nilsson said...

If you're talking efficiency, big-big is better because the chain doesn't have to wrap as tight around a big cog as a small one (angles, not tension).

Dirty Girl said...

................wrapping it around that big cog....................

McFly said...

30c tires is all that would fit. If it works on a Raleigh Competition (Think crit bike, steep rake, twitchy front end) it will work on anything. I put a stem with about 45 degrees of upward angle for a more upright position. Now I am looking at.....racks. Both kinds, mind you.....the kind you can put stuff on and also the kind you can put stuff on. I was minus a barrel adjuster so I only installed the back breake. I'm not entirely convinced thats enough stopping power.

Orestes Munn said...

What's it to you, what it is to me? Huh?

I bought my wife a Surly Crosscheck. She had me leave the steerer uncut, keep the stock tires, and put fenders on it. She's very happy riding it on dirt and loose road surfaces..

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Have to agree with you McFly. Racks you can put stuff on are nice.

dancesonpedals said...

Fred of the sea...your wife likes her steerer tube uncut? An obvious double entendre so early in the morning...

McFly...when I found out cx tires could be fitted to road rims I bought some knobby 32's for my specialized allez..there was a hum that stopped after the center knobs were worn away, but a loud buzz would sound whenever I tried to shift into the big ring...the tires limited front der travel...back to 28's.

Orestes Munn said...

That's a risk of marrying out of the tribe.

Anonymous said...

Fred of the Sea - where do you sail around?

I have a boat at Gateway in Brooklyn off the Great Hipster Silk Route. (Power though).

vsk

Yeah Cleveland! said...

More bicycles that thankfully didn't catch on.
http://gizmodo.com/7-crazy-bikes-that-almost-changed-cycling-forever-and-1624081757

babble on said...

42 is kinda small, innit McFly? Rather surprising coming from you... We tried a single speed with 52/16 and it was pretty sweet, but he's going to put a smaller cog on the back to see if we can't actually win the Little 100 this weekend... :)

But it is NOT a race. I am NOT racing yet. And I won't even be riding it if we can't find a team in two days. My best girl is up in a mining camp in Nunavut:( We need two more people to ride the relay with us, people who are not allergic to alcohol.

Ge? KenE?

Spokey said...

DoP

32 makes a hybrid?

My road bike with bars that drop came with 35s but once I replaced them it's been conti 37s ever since. I think 32 is the smallest the rims can take.


will we just ystelms through the trippple century today?

Spokey said...

bike lobby suggests a new ice bucket variant.

since I sold the ZX convertible I'm all for it.


really robot. if this earsot just take a bath

McFly said...

Oh I have no idea. I was talkin' out mah arse. I would not take gears off my mine for the world.

For you I would break out the fully lubed 55T.

babble on said...

Mmmm.... you know how I like em big and fast.

Anonymous said...

It's too bad that Bike Lobby Tweeterer is a parody account, because I find myself agreeing with almost everything they say.

Orestes Munn said...

vsk,

I have a sailboat in Annapolis and am a promiscuous boat whore for racing on and off the East Coast.

Haven't been through NY Harbor or the rivers on a small boat. Must be a total piss!

FotS

Spokey said...

it's a parody?

how long before they make triple-D?

Spokey said...

thought i'd beat McFly to that one


or anndryp speak as one might say

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Fred of the Sea, Mostly a landlubber here. I did grow up doing the powerboat/walleye/perch fishing thing up on Lake Erie so I'm not totally without some kind of sea legs. Owned and paddled a 16' sea kayak for a while.

Always wanted to learn to sail ever since I was out on Erie in a sailboat once as kid.

Big fan of Chesapeake Light Craft located out in your area. If I had the time I would love to pick up a CLC Jimmy skiff and build with a sailing kit to learn how. Plenty of flat water lakes around. Just finding the time is the problem.

McFly said...

My 2 highlights to the Maryland this summer was going across the Chestipeek and then back across the Chestipeek. I am not accustomed to seeing that much water with land on each side.

Ray Sheo said...

Chainring envy!

BamaPhred said...

The Snob's twitter has him on a gravel track, but not on a gravel bike. Times must tough at the Smit when all you have to ride is a Moots.

I think McFly's cobbleation is cool sounding.

Orestes Munn said...

The Chestipeek is very nice, but very dirty from farm runoff, sewage overflows, and silting from rampant development We are trying to get it cleaned up, but ag interests et al. are worried they'll have to keep their shit out of the Great Lakes, the Mississippi, and the Gulf, if they don't fight us tooth and nail in Congress and the courts.

BamaPhred said...

Everyone amped for the Vuelta? Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Spokey said...

stupid comcast doesn't carry universal sport or whatever it's called. And I'm pretty sure they own at least part of it via the pee-cock

JLRB said...

349

JLRB said...

350 - points!

Orestes Munn said...

Glad to have been a part of something so special and inspiring.

BamaPhred said...

My locale is on tv, for a salacious murder, again.

Comment deleted said...

I'm enjoying imagining a citizen of any *other* civilized country in the world reading this:

"It was a Wednesday night, October 2005, and church members were gathering just 100 yards away for the mid-week service. Tillman and his 40-year-old wife, Janet, were unloading several guns from Tillman's car and moving them to the bedroom for safe-keeping."

and realizing that that's an alibi -- it's supposed to sound entirely plausible to most Americans.

Spokey said...

spousy talked about going to the bonefish grill just tnnight. Should I worry?

never liked the idea of fish bones. do they have filets too?

McFly said...

It would be years before they could arrest and charge Tillman, and they uncovered a bizarre story along the way.



Tillman's cover story with his girlfriend was that he was a Navy Seal. Molly Bizzarri Tillman thought his absences from Washington were because of his service to the country.


Bizzare......Bizzari....I see what you did there reporter man.

Orestes Munn said...

CD, I see us as having embarked on a great national experiment in foolishness. You have to admire the sheer grandeur of the thing.

BamaPhred said...

I wouldn't live anywhere else. I don't need TV, all I need to do is ride around the neighborhood. If you liked that, check out the Betty Wilson/Peggy Lowe story. Same general location for Peggy Lowe.

Anyway, the burning question of the day, aside from my heat rash, location undisclosed, is on topic bikeen related. Please don't hate/judge.

Should I change my 46/36 inner chain ring to a 30? if I can find one. Changing to a 34 would be easy, but would I really notice a difference?

My road bike has a standard 50/34 compact crank, I wanted something different for trails, really easy trails, like fire roads and such.

JLRB said...

"The two initially met on the internet." I wonder if they met on the comments page of BSNYC ...

JLRB said...

Bake to biek stuff - Bamaphred - I got nothun - looks like it shoud work since it is the same drop as your compact - as long as the D can handle it.

On the singlespeed gear combo - I am converting a Salsa Cassarolle to SS - ordered 48 X 16 for every day pedaling about, winter commuting etc.

dancesonpedals said...

bonefish grill sounds like a euphemism, spokey. She's asking you for something.

this week's special: spousal double entendres

Orestes Munn said...

I twiddled 42 x 16 for many's the long year on my very moderately hilly 11 mi commute. You must be a stronger man than I, JLRB.

Now that I'm down to 4 mi., I am mostly riding my old 35 lb mtb with hard fork, street tires, and a 21-12 rear, to up the energy expenditure.

JLRB said...

Fred - it may be that I picked the wrong gearing ... time will tell - goods to arrive tomorrow

Spokey said...

DoP

thx

Now I am worried. I'll hide out in the basement until the quad-century sprint




I do want to know who is responsible for the green stink bug robot

McFly said...

16 x 48 sounds much more manageable. What's it all mean when your wife sends you a pic of her karate monkey and wants to know when you are "gettin' off?"

Spokey said...

McFly

I guess I'll see you at the bonefish grill

Anonymous said...

Fred of the Sea,

Must be beautiful over there. I have a lot of "sailboat friends" at my marina. The best pattern is pile on their boats in the daytime when the wind is crankin' then they come to my boat when the wind dies down in the evening and we do a little cruise here and there. They look over at the GPS and see 18mph and say 18 MPH!!... Is that safe !?!?!

Fair Winds, etc . . .

vsk

Anonymous said...

Hey, McFly and BamaPhred. You can have your weather back.
Some of your heat and humidity made it here for the weekend and we're not used to it. Wilted.

crosspalms said...

It was raining yesterday, so I took the bus. Plus, I had to dress like a grownup to meet my wife after work at an open house for Redmoon Theater. To get there from work, Google Maps said it would take 33 minutes by bus, 24 minutes by car -- or 16 minutes by bike! I thought about that for 33 minutes on the bus (more like 45 with traffic and construction).

Redmoon is planning a Chicago fire festival on Oct. 4 that sounds so weird and implausible I highly recommend a visit here. Cauldrons of fire will be lowered from bridges, kayaks will tow burning pyres, mock buildings will be set ablaze in the river, a barge with a children's choir and a barge with gongs and burning sage will approach from opposite directions, and I forget what else. My wife asked if they'll have rehearsals. Nope, they're just making sure the equipment works -- everything on that evening will be timing.

Too long a comment, I know. Sorry. I'm just still shaking my head at all this fire.

Anonymous said...

Huh. You used to have to drive all the way out to the desert to go to Burning Man. Now it comes to you!

e-bikes said...

I heard the car had an orgasm. Fluids everywhere

wishiwasmerckx said...

I scored a perfect score on today's Friday quiz!...Oh, wait...what?...Never mind...

alpaca lips said...

BamaPhred @931 -- Changing the inner ring from 36 to 30 should make a big difference in the low gear.

I'm an older gent in the beard-and-helmet-mirror demographic, and last year I had my gravelish/cross bike converted to a long-cage rear derailleur and an 11-32 cluster, with 34/46 in the front. I live in hilly country, and I'm sooo glad I did.

Back to your usual hijinks, everyone!

Spokey said...

crosspalms

doesn't that upset rahm? all that pollution and heat going in to global warming-change?



372 is set trolted

Spokey said...

paca

if you were a real wimp like me, you'd have something a lot easier. I'm running a 24x34 and would put that mega with a 36 if it came in a 9-sp

If you don't fall over in your lowest gear, you're clearly too fredly.

I have sported a helment-mirror for years but could never grow a beardly.




374 is the new obedient ampictl

Orestes Munn said...

I wish I were self-aware enough to know which demographic I'm in. On the other hand, i'm afraid to ask my kid.

McFly said...

My Intense Uzzi SL is 24x34 in Granny Low. I declare "OK I am throwin' out the trollin' motor!!" Ironic for something that is primarily a DH bike.

crosspalms said...

Spokey,
I'm guessing tourism dollars trump climate change worries. And I forgot to mention the imitation paddleboat steamer with fog-machine-powered smokestack. They were testing the smokestack last night. For a theater company, they sure have an enormous steampunk kind of machine shop.

Flyover BC said...

I'm starting to get senior discounts. Anyway, I converted the old bike with 52/42-11/24
to a triple with a low of 26:28.
It'll go right up the 12 percent+ grades with what seems like reasonably easy input from me. Now, if I can only keep up the revs past 9000' asl up to 10,000'. That ought to do it for around here.

I see no one's making a break for 400, yet.

Orestes Munn said...

They're spinning like crazy, but the bikes are barely moving.

Flyover BC said...

Barely moving is better (barely)than not moving.

JLRB said...

2 Day Old Breaking News - crabon makes bikes more expensive = "Snob value"

1904 Cadardi said...

BamaPhred,

That is hilarious!


How do you keep your cow from being stolen? With a moo-lock.

Count of Sprint said...

385

crosspalms said...

Bama,
I thought Babble was the only one here allowed to post photos of calves...

crosspalms said...

Nonchalantly whistling but pedaling faster

ken e. said...

"Nonchalantly whistling but pedaling faster"
the only time i don't resemble this comment is after about the 8 hour mark, and even then the signal is probably being sent subconsciously...

NTHN HPNS
KEEP PDLN

Spokey said...

hurriedly putting on the 12-36 cassette

Count of Sprint said...

390

Spokey said...

Anyone for a quick coffee break?

crosspalms said...

I know my current bikes are 48 or 46-34-24 and 11-36 (nine-speed), which is ridiculous overkill for Chicago, but anytime I go somewhere with actual hills my flatlander legs can get up them. My old 10-speed was 52-48 in front, which was silly; I eventually took off the 52, made the 48 the big ring and put a 36 inside. It was a really useful, comfy bike after that. Never used the 52 unless the wind was behind me.

JLRB said...

can't turn this new fanglued single-speed - 391

Comment deleted said...

Crosspalms @ 3:51: C.O.W.

crosspalms said...

and a dash of souplesse

JLRB said...

396 - looking over shoulder

Count of Sprint said...

396

JLRB said...

397 - a quick peek under the arm pit

JLRB said...

399

crosspalms said...

furiously ringing the bell

Comment deleted said...

CCCC

JLRB said...

400

Comment deleted said...

I, that is.

Spokey said...

congrats CP

good sprint gentlepeople

JLRB said...

congrats crosspalms

crosspalms said...

Thanks! My trusty white lunchbag comes through.

Spokey said...

that does it. the crit bike comes off the ceiling hooks.

for now, have to drown my sorrows in some java

JLRB said...

Bicycle Cycling Tyre Tire Multi-use Repair tool set Pump Kits Bag Glue Patch

JLRB said...

Try again -never before has such a combination of cheap goods had such a long name Bicycle Cycling Tyre Tire Multi-use Repair tool set Pump Kits Bag Glue Patch

babble on said...

Woo hooo! Page three...
shouldn't there be some boobies around here somewhere?

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