Wednesday, July 30, 2014

They say that on Wednesday god looks the other way.

Not too long ago I mentioned this anti-blinky graffiti in Portland:


Odd syntax aside, it underscores a dispute in the cycling world nearly as contentious as the helment debate.  On one side are those cyclists who believe bright blinky lights are essential to safety, and on the other are ones who who find them annoying, blinding, hateful, and dangerous.

Then there's the guy riding around with only one pathetic little red blinky on his handlebars, but neither side will claim him because he's an idiot.


Like all bike-themed debates, the blinky light argument proves once again that cyclists have no common sense whatsoever and prefer following rules to modifying their behavior based on conditions.  The truth is that sometimes you need a retina-searing light cannon, and sometimes you don't.  Take last night, for example, when I returned to my Big Dummy which I had parked at the train station:


(My Big Dummy, not after dark and not at the train station.)

And which is packing Knog Blinders both front:


And rear:


First, an aside on the Blinders themselves.  Starting in the springtime, I park this bike outside at all times, where it is constantly subjected to the elements.  Rain falls on it.  Landscapers blast it with grass clippings.  I'm pretty sure one time I surprised a pair of raccoons fucking in it.  Simply put, it takes a lot of crap.

Apart from covering the Brooks saddle (if I don't do that a raccoon might try to copulate with it and I don't want it to get covered in "Proofide," if you know what I mean), I take no measures to protect any part of this bicycle from the rain, and that includes the lights, which means they've been sitting outside since the last snowstorm, whenever that was.  Moreover, I haven't had to actually turn on the lights in months, since it gets dark really late now and I'm generally not schlepping a kid around town on a bike at 9 or 10pm.

The point is, when I got off the train and unlocked my bicycle, I fully expected that the lights would have either lost their charge or simply failed altogether due to repeated soakings.

Not so, they both fired right up:


(BLAM!)

I was genuinely surprised, even though I shouldn't be, because everybody who advertises on this blog sells products that are totally awesome.

Okay, so back to the blinky debate.  As you can see from the above photo, the Blinders are pretty bright, which now that I think of it might be why they're called "Blinders."  (I'd always just assumed it was because you were supposed to wear them on either side of your head like a horse.)  Now, according to our syntactically-challenged friend out there in Portland, I should go "FUCK AND AND MY EPILEPTIC LIGHTS."  However, I respectfully disagree.  See, I may live in New York City, but the Great White Way gets pretty dark by the time it wends its way up to these parts, and this is what my part of town looks like at night:


As you can see, it's a very rough neighborhood, but with any luck they'll come and gentrify us soon.

Anyway, when I'm riding here at night, I'm not encountering spoiled Portland cyclists who throw temper tantrums because they have to squint occasionally.  Instead, I'm encountering SUV drivers who are deciding whether or not they need to bother stopping at a stop sign in a quiet residential neighborhood at 10pm.  And I can assure you that their decision is almost always "No"--that is until my Blinder hits them in the face.  Then they stop.  You know, because I might be a car.  (Drivers only stop for cars.)

So yeah, it seems pretty simple to me.  Sure, if you're surrounded by lots and lots of cyclists in a heavily trafficked area you don't need to be throwing off the serious lumens.  However, if it's just you and the occasional SUV you want as much light as you can produce.  In fact, lighting is one of the few opportunities we have to be on equal footing with drivers.  We'll never rival them in sheer vehicle tonnage, but we can at least match their headlights:



And their taillights:

By the way, I shouldn't have to point out that my smartphone camera is exaggerating the effect of the Blinders, because when you just do the old nighttime point-and-shoot pretty much every light looks like a supernova:


Oh, here's a blinky-light silhouette-selfie:


That's what you call "art."

Speaking of Portlanders, not only are they wincing from the hurty lights, but they're also being subjected to bike theft, and a reader recently forwarded me this cry of "Won't somebody think of the children?"


Yeah, see, that's not gonna work.  The problem is that it's adorable.  If I were the thief I'd have absolutely no problem convincing myself that I actually did this family a favor by bringing them closer together--plus any lingering guilt would probably be assuaged by all the methamphetamine.

Oh, and if you point out that Dad's "custom" bikes aren't technically custom then you're a gigantic Fred:


Moving on from Portland to San Francisco (yet staying solidly inside the Smugness Belt), I just watched the latter city's entry for the "The Bike Design Project:"


EVO Bike from HUGE DESIGN on Vimeo.

So what is the EVO?  Well, here's your answer:

The EVO Urban Utility bike is a hybrid bicycle that leverages a modular accessory platform for ultimate flexibility. 

When the hell did "leverage" replace the word "use?"  It must be horrible to live in San Francisco now.  I can imagine them all riding around on EVOs, walking into caf├ęs and asking, "Can I leverage Bitcoin to effectuate a purchase of this latte?"

By the way, that tired narrator sounds like she could leverage a cup of coffee herself.

Also, as we saw yesterday, the Vanmoofy top tube is de rigeur on tomorrow's designer douche chariot:


As is the proprietary rack system which offers no advantage over a standard rack yet leverages its proprietary nature to be both limiting and inconvenient:


And of course an integrated cable lock which leverages enhanced flimsiness to offer ultimate unauthorized bicycle availability to the end-user:


And by "end-user" I mean "thief."

Indeed, to paraphrase the song from the '80s, the future's so twee, I gotta wear TOMS:


At least he's leveraging a helment.

144 comments:

chunkylover said...

long time listener, first time caller

babble on said...

Helllllo! :D

ken e. said...

zoom

Anonymous said...

here

cycle

babble on said...

Um... did I read that right? You leave your knog lights on your bike at a train station in NYC, and upon your return they are STILL THERE?!

Must be mighty cold in Hell these days.

Anonymous said...

Top ten?

K-bo said...

WEED!!!!

Anonymous said...

Did not read

Paul Bowen said...

Top ten for the Englese guy!

leroy said...

My dog asked me to tell you that silhouette selfie suggests you've gained weight.

I told him he was blinded by the light, revved up like a douche.

Then he quibbled about the lyric.

ouabacher said...

If only I'd posted first, read second

Spokey said...

woo-hoo

top 80,000

Anonymous said...

the EVO is cute and all but the geometry seems pretty upright and uncomfortable not to mention slow and unwieldy. Other than the fact that the thing looks like it rides like shit, I do like the integrated baskets.

Anonymous said...

oof da

Anonymous said...

Are we not bikes?
We are EVO, E - V - O

Comment deleted said...

Lens-flare-leveraging Wednesday.

DirtyDuck said...

i just bought a nice kustom orbea from some little girl yesterday

dancesonpedals said...

smugness belts should be white, alligator & shiny for total ironic effect

Comment deleted said...

You Yonkersmen fuck and and your blinky lights...

rct via an unsync'ed smarting phone said...

I leverage this blog on a daily basis for a good laugh.

Anonymous said...

Light action.

vsk

grog said...

Leverage this.

Comment deleted said...

That SF bike is literally leveraging its silly front rack. I doubt it could hold a loaf of bread without sagging.

Gravity has its way with racks, eventually.

Spokey said...

I'll bet my racks weigh more than that that orbea orbea frame frame

Anonymous said...

Yay Ms. Babble On Top !! (Almost).

We should give a little thanks each day. I am currently thankful for my dorky/geeky/nerdy little 3rd Eye rear view and the girl in the yellow and black patterned too-mini-for-the-bike dress directly behind me on Chrystie and Houston.

vsk

Spokey said...

is the sprint coming early again today?

I'd like to go out and lever-age the good weather with a ride over to to the canal.

If I get back in time I'll I'll try try to lead out JLRB for once once.

Mick Belker said...

Out here in over-leveraged Fairfield County Connecticut the use of high Lumen lights on fuck-epileptic mode are a great way to get through traffic and piss of the douche community as you pass them in backed up traffic with no worry about pissing bikers off.
Evo? Really, is that name at all original?

Anonymous said...

42 mph on my singlespeed (42/16) yesterday. Does that qualify as WOO-HOO-HOO speed?

le Correcteur said...

Meh, top thirty.

CommieCanuck said...

When I scroll down to read this blog, I get nausea.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...must to voice my opinion: i detest cyclists in the city that have 'blinking' blinders on. many a time i have almost swerved into pedestrian traffic on the willieB bridge trying to adjust my vision between each blink. why not just ride in solid mode... it's just as bright.

...scranus

BamaPhred said...

The bigggest difference I see in the EVO and the other designer douche chariot is that the EVO's avacado cannon is magazine fed and can shoot from both ends, as opposed to the single shot version from NYC.

babble on said...

Commie - that's just sick.

vsk - xx :) It's summer. Too much mini for the bike is just right.

David said...

In this acronym-obsessed world, it's surprising that we used to "lever" something (if you wanted to sound pretentious and not use "use") but now we "leverage" which uses two extra syllables. It used to be incorrect, but it looks like Webster gave up that battle.

There's a guy I've seen at 6th Ave and 23rd or so with a can that is entirely covered with Knog lights and similar elastic-banded lights. And they're all on. And I'm going to guess he didn't buy any of them. So as long as he's not ambitious enough to visit your train station, your lights are safe.

David said...

A cane. I meant a cane, not a can.

CommieCanuck said...

Ah, talking like idiots...this is big in the corporate world, where English has been replaced by bullshit terms which are designed by the speaker to cast an air of superiority and insecurity in the listener.
This is why when some MBA fucktard in an overpriced suit starts talking like this to a silent board room, I interrupt and ask him to explain one of the six acronyms he used in the last paragraph to the "stakeholders" (like this is a vampire lynch mob), it throws him right off as more people ask questions and more often than not, it's fun to watch him sweat when he doesn't know what the acronyms mean.

balls™ said...

If you were here right now, you could see my can.

Herschel Raney said...

Most lights I assume allow you to easily switch from straight dazzle to blinky mode. Mine do anyway. The main reason for blinky (and I do frequent night rides) is to save on charge time on the light. I also find blinky mode freaks the deer out more. Whereas they just stare at my straight dazzle until I do my imitation of a deer snort. Then they run the hell into the woods.

What do cars think of blinky mode? Well, fuck em, get out of my way. It is night time, car drivers should be at home drinking beer and watching Real Housewives.

I do like that rear red knog light though. Light envy.

Still waiting on my hat.

McFly said...

I leverage a white Knog on the seat bag of my Carbondale (TM). Only because someone tore the tail light plug off my 5 x 10 trailer and I zip tied the red lights to the back of it. I am too lazy to put on a new plug.

It's a matter of the conditions of which you spoke.

BamaPhred said...

We play buzz word bingo in corporate meetings. The current lingo is placed on a grid similar to a bingo card and we mark them off as used. Management was miffed when they caught on to what we were actually paying attention.

Mr Plow said...

That is the funniest raccoon / proofide related joke I've heard all day ( so far)

babble on said...

Snobberdood, you're missing the point. Your epileptic lights are only epileptic when they are blinking. I agree that you need to be at least as well lit up as a car, but it is absolutely illegal for a car to flash blinding lights in your face, and it's brutal to flash them at folks along unlit roadways. Big lights = good. Flashing big lights = bad. Very very bad.

Bryan said...

'allo chaps! We made it to the 1/2 point. Still waiting on Snobs seventeen (17) children to make more caps in time for me to chase the Lanterne Rogue during the Boone Grand Fondue.
Anyways...solid post. I have the rear Blinder that I rotate between bikes.
I want to know when Cannondale is going to sue the SF team for their use of EVO...
127 robots today

David Pearce said...

Whatever else I have to say, after digesting your information rich blog post,

There is no decent reason (or need) to refer to your wife as a "Big Dummy". It's just rude.

I have no idea about what you mean about "parking" her at a train station, but I guess that is just the New York way, or something.

J.J. Abrahams said...

Nice lens flares!

Anonymous said...

All hail the mini dress!

Apologies Serial Retrogrouch, I am also a blinky sporting guy on the Williburg (post work). I use it day and night. There seems to be no shortage of riders playing chicken in the wrong lane position because they just HAVE to cut around someone because they're way too important. I mean it's just a ride to/from work for stop and frisks sake. I use a red Blinder in the back and a Blackburn Flea up front (which is pretty mild, especially in the daytime).
Light steady on drains the run time. Blink helps to stand out from the clutter.
I'm suprised no one's using lasers yet.

vsk

BamaPhred said...

Completely off topic, but if you are experiencing weed eater envy because your neighbor has a bigger one, then get this

It's Canadaman, so it's gotta be awesome.

Anonymous said...

New age corporate psychobabble->

If you really want to go UpDouche, you adopt the Brit accent, like Geico and pronounce it "Leeverage" or "Leevridge".

As for me, I'll maintain my quaint Brooklynese 'talkway'.

vsk

crosspalms said...

I usually have 2 red lights in back, but the front one is like me: it blinks and it's not that bright.

Roille Figners said...

Babberdoodle: Podio kissus.

The other guys: Handshakes, no offense. I'm not a manman.

Roille Figners said...

What am I doing wrong? My avocado cannon only fires from the back end.

Roille Figners said...

The two contradictory trends in modern language explained at last:

1) "I'm in such a goddamn hurry that I don't even have time to say stuff," hence all the acronyms.

2) "I'm an idiot but I'm also self-important and/or trying to sell something, so I better use officious language," hence all the extra syllables. (Awesome example of this is the prison guard in Idiocracy.)

Phat Mike said...

I have two torches on my front, one for casual and one that floods the road with light. Using the right tools, for the right job at the right time.

As for the rear, no blinking lights. According to the highway and traffic act (here in Canada) blinking lights are not to be used a replacement for the reflector and a red reflector has to be present.

However, I have added some reflective tape to my rear saddle bag bars.

http://phattirerider.blogspot.ca/

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I have dual blinkeys on the front of my commuter bike. they flash just out of sync with each other for maximum dazzleocity. I like to see how far ahead the light is visible when it reflects off street signs and other reflective surfaces.

I'll run 'em in flash mode till you pry 'em from my cold dead handlebars.

When they outlaw flashing bike lights only outlaws will have flashing bike lights.

ervgopwr said...

Snob, no way your big dummy lives out side and looks that nice.

My board got all sun faded and chipped. Bags shrivel and grey out.

Basically it looks like that woman from the WSJ.

Fred of the Sea said...

Today's post begs the question of whether anyone knows what leverage means or whether they have another thing coming.

Anonymous said...

raccoon spooge


on my bike


will ride at night


'cause I'm a

fucking vampire!!!

Anonymous said...

EVO looks like it doesn't know if its sucking or blowing

Anonymous said...

uh, it's like a big stick or something...


really sticky?

BikeSnobNYC said...

ervgopowr,

The board hasn't been on that long, I only recently put it back on after removing the plastic snapdeck along with the old kiddie seat. It is now starting to look pretty Rabinowitz.

The bags still look fine thought.

If I took more close-ups you'd see the bike is actually pretty disgusting. Insects crawl out of it while I'm riding.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Comment deleted said...

I see what you did there, Fred Del Mar. We are not amused. This is the sort of nonsense up with which we will not put.

1904 Cadardi said...

True story,

Our new C-something-officer, said in a company wide meeting that we need to use straight talk! Very important that we communicate effectively and minimize use of confusing terms! Then proceeded to use three different acronyms that nobody outside sales had ever heard of.

Yep, that's how you rally the troops.

Fnarf said...

Blinkies are stupid and counterproductive.

But so are Knogs and all other lights that shine a big fat circle of light that is guaranteed to blind anyone who comes across you.

Ever wonder why cars don't blind everyone coming the other way? Because they have shaped lights. They only shine out and down, not up into your eyes. Bike lights should be like that.

And in fact, they are, in places where people with brains exist. Germany, for instance, where shaped beams are required by law. Check out any Busch & Mueller light, for instance; it has a shaped beam, and you can get all the light you need to see and be seen without blinding or otherwise annoying the people around you.

Those Knog lights would be illegal in Germany. They should be here as well.

As a cyclist who also drives on occasion, I can tell you that blinkies are completely useless -- you can tell that there's a cyclist, or maybe just a dipshit, somewhere within a couple hundred yards, but you can't tell WHERE he is, which is pretty critical information if your goal is to avoid driving over him. Or not avoid, I suppose.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I'm being obtuse, but as:
1) most urban areas are paved,
2) commuters are trying to get to their jobs on time, and
3) chafing is uncomfortable,
wouldn't the ultimate urban commuting bike look a lot more like my 1990 Trek 1200 w/ a rack for panniers than a big seat stage prop for a remake of Mary Poppins?
What am I missing?
-Matt in AK

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...vsk

...i hope that wasn't you i got stuck behind on the manhattan bridge that one time, your rear BB (blinky blinder) blinding me... and i tried to pass you but was too blinded to see a cyclist coming the other direction... and i barely made it between both of you without hitting anyone... at which point you (perhaps it was you, i don't know, i was too blind to see) proceeded to verbally reprimand my carelessness... at which point i returned your niceties... and then you proceeded to try to block and hit me with your moving bike cycle... and we threw verbal punches at each other until we reached atlantic ave.

...if that was you, i apologize. if it wasn't you, just remember that someone passing you at night is partially blind and is not liable to what s/he does when passing you.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...fnarf

...good point about blinkies distorting motorists' sense of distance.

...i do have a B&M front light. bright like a car's... but you know what sucks about a downward facing beam? it does nothing to illuminate street signs.

Big Charlie said...

Yeah, you all drug me into the light debate.

I'm with Fnarf. At first blush, blinkies seem like they might work, but really nobody can see where you are depth perception-wise, and if someone glances in between blinks, they are useless. Run them on solid.

If it wasn't obvious by now, I'm a grouch with German lights running off a dynamo hub. I have Big Dummy envy!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Fnarf,

I regularly encounter cars with blindingly bright headlights while driving and cycling.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1904 Cadardi said...

Anon @1:37

LASERS! That's it!

I want some fricking sharks with fricking laser beams on their heads for my bike!

Fred of the Sea said...

If you know your blinky's frequency and the diameter of a car's wheels, you can estimate its speed by the strobe effect. Take me long to figure this out? Nah, up with it I just sort of came.

Out of pocket!

Stuart Rasmussen said...

Oregon Manifest should of called their contest "the best cargo bike design". Unfortunately they started the twee parade with their alliterative "Ultimate Urban Utility" nonsense. The NYC bike can hardly carry anything, maybe a 6-pack. The SF design can carry a child and a twelve pack, so it sucks less, but their lingo is worse. Basically the NYC team decided that bikes aren't meant to carry stuff; so screw this contest.

Anonymous said...

2220Blinking lights make you more visible to drivers and lowers the chances that you get maimed or killed. Blinking lights are therefore good.

gE said...

There was a recent study, don't have the link, that showed that a solid front light alowed oncoming traffic to judge your distance and velocity way better than a blinking light. Blinking in the day, solid at night, for the front anyway. Plus, no one's going to mistake a seizure inducing high lumen strobe as a car/motorbike - instant lack of respect/courtesy/judgement.

Anonymous said...

The best defense against cars with blindingly bright headlights is a blindingly bright headlight. It provides some illumination for the dark side of whatever created by the car headlights.

On the other hand, coyotes will stand there and look right into the light trying to figure it what it is. Porcupines will bolt until they get used to seeing it, then they won't bother to move, which is safest for everyone.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Babble, I am disappoint to learn that you do not approve of flashing.

Anonymous said...

where do you live exactly in Riverdale wildcat. Also can you give us a heads up next time you park your bike at the station, I could use some new lights. thanks there wild-hat-mock- tagine.

Bryan said...

Ugh, another "Germans are smarter bc they have shaped lights" person.
I'm with WCRM on this one - I reguarly come across cars with blinding headlights, sometimes on high beams. Fuck them. I won't run my front on blinky at night, but damn straight I will during the daytime or dawn/evening. Speaking of Germans...

DB said...

More dirndls, please.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:02pm,

I bought Old Man Zizmor's place.

It's haunted by a ghost with a really clear complexion.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

crosspalms said...

Shaped lights are all very well if they're adjusted right, but half the cars in my neighborhood look like Marty Feldman. I've been blinded by cars many times.

Roille Figners said...

Lights. They're bright, to varying degrees. They optionally blink. They are pointed at stuff.

AM I RIGHT!??!

Dooth said...

Blinky lights? Who am I, Blinky Madison? Nah, a solid beam pointed down.

Flyover BC said...

It's clear that the designers share disdain for all the personal and customized bikes they show in the SF video.

Anyway, once the winner is announced, we can all have identical bikes. The best part is that no individual customization will be allowed, sort of like the blue outfits the communist chinese persons used to wear. I guess that explains the urban designer uniform they're all wearing too.

I can hardly wait.

babble on said...

LOL!!! Isn't a clear complexion the very hallmark of a ghost?!

I never thought it could be this way, but that's practically cheap next to the mad market here. A million bucks in lotus land will only get you a small bungalow. It takes a helluva a lot more money to land 7000 square feet of house here in Vancouvermanland.

Spokey said...

I have Busch & Mueller rear lights on two bieks. Kind of cool. I leave them on all the time. They have light and motion sensors so the lights come on and go off automatically.

Doesn't blink. I was told that was illegal in Germany.

I do have a blinky on my travel rack because I'm too lazy to swap racks and swap lights. Kind of randomly choose the blink pattern or steady.

Oh, and sorry. Forgot to blow kisses to babs on the podia


godtics very about this argument.




Mr Plow said...

The Germans need to lighten up.

dancesonpedals said...

early century..i hear footsteps

JB said...

There are 2 purposes to bikey lights: seeing and being seen.

To see, you want to illuminate where you will soon be riding, and powerful lights are helpful to maximize the viewing area. These should be angled down toward the ground to avoid shining in other riders/drivers eyes.

To be seen, you don't need a particularly bright light (e.g., car taillights are much less bright than headlights), but in my opinion blinky lights allow better noticeability than solid lights.

Therefore, blinky lights should not be bright enough to blind those around you and a bright steady light should be used in the front if you need to illuminate your path.

dop said...

sometimes a break from 2k out works..

dop said...

blink blink

dop said...

where is photo sphere when i need it?

dop said...

or even someone's mailbox

dop said...

and inthe 3rd race, "Bill's Ass" was scratched

dop said...

coming around the corner, it's "Bab's Boobs" way out front, with "Toilet Paper" sliding up the rear..

DB said...

Sharknado 2. Good luck to all you New Yorkers tonight.

Spokey said...

95 ah the sprint is on

dop said...

they're bunching up at the rail

dop said...

clubhouse turn

DB said...

Turning the lights on.

dop said...

the whip is out

crosspalms said...

see no Evo, hear no Evo, speak no Evo

dop said...

can you post 2 at once?

Fred of the Sea said...

Pro tip: Mount your blinky on your helmert and always, ALWAYS, wear yellow. Fact: The suburban retina contains 10^8 more yellow cones than snow cones per mm sq. ...and don't eat the yellow Sno Cones.

Spokey said...

dang a new leader of the pack

Spokey said...

congrats dop

dancesonpedals said...

wheel suckers

Spokey said...

and the answer is yes you can

dancesonpedals said...

congrats. now i know how jacky durand felt

DB said...

Crosspalms!
You are on the razor, man.
Must be those pierogies

crosspalms said...

A thing of beauty, dop.

Robot awards you the Madras ploorbo.

Spokey said...

I need to fuel up with those jelly belly energy thingees for the next sprint. But I don't like jelly beans


robot says the way to win the sprint is rails lloclop

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Whoa! Nice digs there Wildcat. C'mon it looks like you have some room there to put up a shed to keep the big dummy in.

BamaPhred said...

Those Jelly Belly energy thingies from the Tour de Adverts? Looked like they were streaming out of those bike riding douches avacado lanuchers.

Test Tickle said...

I use proof hide on all of my Knogs. Damn if I can't get the batteries out, though.

JLRB said...

Why am I quietly snickering asks me wifee? Because I am catching up on some snob I've missed while over here.

Excellent "work" if that's what it's called.

Last week I came across a couple of old bike lights in a box - the kind that run on AA's (pre-usb craze) and was shocked, or at least mildly surprised, to find they both produced light.

JLRB said...

Why am I quietly snickering asks me wifee? Because I am catching up on some snob I've missed while over here.

Excellent "work" if that's what it's called.

Last week I came across a couple of old bike lights in a box - the kind that run on AA's (pre-usb craze) and was shocked, or at least mildly surprised, to find they both produced light.

Spokey said...

no use-bee lights here. much rather have AA lights. Easier to carry a couple spare AAs when you're in the middle of nowhere.

robot sez that's how you survive lenali

babble on said...

Crosspalms - ++ :D
heh heh

ThrownGauntletBot9000 said...

Let's see if Mr. Snob can make fun of these people:

https://medium.com/@akurjata/i-dont-know-anything-about-bicycles-4ac46e64d296

https://medium.com/bicycles-are-fun/who-rides-la-880233f18f58

https://medium.com/bicycles-are-fun/hirabai-dreams-of-a-complete-education-704f055135f8

https://medium.com/bicycles-are-fun/lonely-summer-roads-14459ee928ce

https://medium.com/bicycles-are-fun

alpaca lips said...

Gauntlet @6:02 -- I didn't read all of 'em, but I think Mr. Snob would basically stand up and cheer at the first guy, rather than making fun of him.

The frequently-repeated captcha about a sphere is a play on words; the visible surface of the sun (or any star) is called the "photosphere".

I actually do know essentially everything, and remind people of this at frequent intervals. I'm great at parties!

leroy said...

When I ride home through Times Square at night no one seems bothered by my blinky Blackburn Flea.

I sometimes see The Naked Cowboy in Times Square with his guitar. Wonder if he takes requests:

Blinded by the light,
Revved up like a douche,
another blinky in the night.
Blinded by the light.

...

My dog always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun.
But mama, that's where the fun is.

Anonymous said...

Look, let this be the final word on bicycle lights:

Front light should never blink. Not even as a power saving measure. Leave it running on steady, but turn it down if you're low on juice and exercise greater caution. Better yet, carry a spare light or additional batteries.

In urban environments, the front light mostly doesn't need to be blindingly bright and should always be "shaped" in the Teutonic manner or tilted downwards. Except when scouting remote locations for dumping your victims' bodies. On those occasions you do need a broad "spray" of high intensity lighting which also points upwards to illuminate any low hanging branches which could smash your face in. But it should always be adjusted when re-entering civilisation.

Flashing rear lights do facilitate motorist tracking, but in a "very busy lighting environment", such as might be experienced in a densely populated metropolis, a flashing rear light can easily become subsumed in the jumble of city lights.

The solution involves running two (2) rear lights; one steady, one flashing. They should be close together, say on the seat post or on the seat stays. Having one light, say on your back pack and the other on a seat stay, freaks everyone out and you will be run over by cars, so don't do that.

Alright? Anything else?

Spokey said...

now this is really the last word(s) on lights:

West DryTorr

O'Spokeyman said...

leroy

for once your dog is right. for cripes sake man, pay attention to the mutt

Roille Figners said...

Little curly wurly with a Knog tacked on a Burley was a teenage diplomat...


Sensei what should I do?

continue nozensu

Anonymous said...

Artisanal urban bike contest. Isn't this sponsored by levi's and jack daniels or some shit? I get a headache just trying to imagine what kind of branding these people are trying to leverage here. I feel sorry for the frame builders who thought it a good opportunity for their "career".

babble on said...

Ooooh, Mr Figners! Just spotted those kisses. Cheers, doll. xo :)

WIWM - LOL! Funny you should mention it. The truth is, I have been known to flash under certain circumstances. If it's anything other than a clear day, and I am running low on battery you just might find me flashing up front.

Nacnud said...

Seeing my front light flashing at night gives me seizures.

Anonymous said...

Every product advertised on this blog other than State Bicycles is awesome

Bill Smith said...

"Leverage" is what you switch to after someone tells you that "utilize" and "use" mean exactly the same thing.

Evil Genius said...

BamaPhred @ 1:40. Nice link. In my laboratory right now I am creating a shrub trimming accessory that hooks up to the drivetrain on one's bicycle. This is a first, it's cutting hedge technology.

semi serious cyclist said...

Those bikes are exceedingly disturbing the closer they're scrutinized.

Listen - do you also hear the sound of distant Italians laughing?

Anonymous said...

hey!!! i live in san francisco... and i despise the EVO even more than you do.

Anonymous said...

Some fabulous advice for 'Murican drivers in the UK on this page which has now been taken down for some inexplicable reason...Don't hit the cyclists, they might get indignant

whistler said...

I like the Cygolite Metro front light, which has a mode with a steady beam with a stutter. I get to annoy people in favor of either the blinky or solid modes.

Fred of the Sea said...

Yes indeedy, Bill Smith.

Roille Figners said...

There's a show called Leverage. Filmed in Portland. Coincidence? I think not.

Anonymous said...

I love the bikepath users who user their front strobes in the middle of the day... My solution has been the Fenix PD35. It has a strobe setting of its own. Turn it on and suddenly the oncoming cyclist seems more motivated to shut off or cover their strobe.

Fred of the Sea said...

Why just a strobe? Why not a sigh-reen?

JB said...

Late question: from where did the "Wednesday weed" idea originate?

Neil Hodges said...

If the primary reason for blinking is to save battery life, then why not just go for a hub dynamo? I leave my lights on solid all day and night with mine. Haven't had any trouble being seen on all sorts of roads with them, in rain, in the dark, and during bright, sunny days.

semi serious cyclist said...

ANOTHER possible bike category for next years' Oregon Manifest builder's event - the touring unicycle. Could be the next gravel grinder.

http://abc10up.com/canadian-man-traveling-3000-miles-by-unicycle/

darbas anglijoje said...

very good :)

plastikiniai langai said...

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