Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle: Misshapen Lumps

Further to yesterday's post, in which I mentioned this guy:


A commenter would like you reassure you that he's merely an "outlier:"

Tame Dog Hawk Machine said...

Dear everyone, the Tattoo n Tzitzit guy does not represent Zoobomb as a whole at all. Actually he's kind of an outlier.
If you're in Portland, come see what we're all about!

JULY 22, 2014 AT 8:10 PM

In other words, he wants to reassure you that, should you choose to try Zoobomb, you're unlikely to encounter any Jews.  Whew!  Also, you can be sure that if any Asians show up they'll immediately be outed as undercover police officers:


(Boy, that was awkward, wasn't it?)

And remember, Keep Portland Weird!


*[But not like, you know, ethnic weird.]

Moving on, in its ongoing attempt to become Portland East, Brooklyn continues to neuter itself, and the latest symptom of this is genteel motorcyclists leaving passive-aggressive Post-it notes for other motorcyclists:


Seriously, that's not enough room?



I see nothing to complain about.  Get back to us when you pick your bike up off the street for the fourth time after some incompetent parallel parker knocks it over with their SUV.  When I owned a motorcycle people used to sit on it to eat lunch--until I joined the Satan's Helpers, that is.  After that, nobody messed with me.


Another symptom of Brooklyn's transmogrification are these ugly and misshapen bicycle sculptures, which I passed recently as I trawled the Manhattan Bridge on a Citi Bike looking for hot Cat 6 action:


I'm not sure what they're going for here, but my best guess is it's supposed to represent what you'll look like after a run-in with one of Brooklyn's many homicidal drivers:


Though if they were looking to create a really shitty version of Storm King then I'll say they nailed it:



(Craphenge.)

In any case, my shivers of disgust gave way to trembling anticipation as I mounted the approach to the Manhattan Bridge, and I knew the Cat 6-ing was going to be good because people in Evel Knievel helments were detangling their headphones:


I had chosen a goodly steed at yon Citi Bike stable too, because the transmission held onto gears 1, 2, and 3 without popping out again:


When it comes to Citi Bike gearing, one outta three ain't bad, two of three is pretty darn good, and unfettered access to all three is almost unheard of.

(By the way, if you're wondering what's on my wrist, it's hair.  And if you're wondering what's buried in the hair on my wrist, it's some kind of "smart watch."  See, I once missed a text while riding my bike, and now I'm legally required to wear that electronic monitoring bracelet until I die.)

Some people mistakenly think Cat 6 racing is all about sheer power, but the fact is that bike-handling is crucial, especially when you have to circumvent "foot salmon:"


If you're unfamiliar with the Manhattan Bridge, the north side is entirely for bikes, and the south side is entirely for pedestrians, but the pedestrians don't want to have to walk all the way across Canal Street (for which I can't entirely blame them), so they're just like, "fuck it."

This means the Cat 6 racer's bike-handling skills have to be sharp.  Really sharp.  Like Peter-Sagan-on-Adderall sharp.  Fortunately, I happen to possess just such a skill set.  That's why when there's a cyclist in front of me, another coming towards me, and a pedestrian in the far left, I'm able to slip right through the crack:


Get it?  Crack.


The only thing sharper than my bike-handling is my wit.

A full 45 seconds later I was still laughing at my own joke--until I was attacked by a Fred or Fred-Like Object with a jersey that said "beard" on it:


It was on!  I attempted to screw on my "race face," but unfortunately I had left it in my other pants.  And no sooner had this registered with me than I heard the words every Cat 6 racer dreads--"On your left!"--at which point I was overtaken by a neon specter from the past:


He then proceeded to open a gap on me faster than an ice-cold can of Coors Light on a hot day:


Despondently, I looked out over the Big Skanky, which I understand a certain commenter went swimming in this past weekend:


I then thought about how we had a huge amount of rain last week, and how when that happens the local waterways fill up with untreated sewage, and then I threw up in my mouth.

Soon I crested the span and hit the downhill, where I spotted the clear winner of the day's best-dressed award:


I mean, come on, let's have some credit where credit is due.  His kerchief matches his socks for chrissake!


(They're green because he's leading the points competition.)

Furthermore, it was pretty hot out , and even though he was riding in a blazer and on a climb he was as dry as a one-liner.  Meanwhile, I was wearing a t-shirt and going downhill, yet I was sweating like a Zoobomber in a minyan.

Yes, Team Citi Bike acquitted itself well yesterday:


Look at that speed!!!


It must have been a double-points day or something, because the pace was relentless:


Then, I caught my twin adversaries, Beard Fred and Beer Fred, at the bottom of the bridge, but like the pro Cat 6 racer that I am I kept my distance so they wouldn't know I was racing them:


By the way, did you know they're making helments in the Citi Bike colorway now?


I don't know if that's on purpose or not, but it sure seems like it.

Really, the only low point for Team Citi Bike yesterday was this guy, who totally botched the remount and got dropped by CETMA Rack Guy and Shirtless Guy:


Shirtless Guy will not be winning any sartorial awards for yesterday's stage, this I can assure you.

Meanwhile, this guy was not only wearing a shirt, but he was also wearing every single fixed-gear fashion accessory ever invented, right down to the fanny pack and the star tattoo:


There are two things you can always count on in this town--a fixie rider having a star tattoo, and an SUV parked in the bike lane in front of the bike shop:


Here's an inadvertent "selfie" of Your Humble Blogger:


Yes, I ride around New York City taking pictures with my smartphone like an idiot, and if you're wondering how a Citi Bike brakes coming off the Manhattan Bridge when you're only using one hand, the answer is, "Not very well at all."

Still, I do it anyway, and the only thing I enjoy more than taking pictures of cracks while Cat 6ing is taking pictures of other people taking pictures:


I like to think somewhere somebody also took a picture of me taking a picture of that person, so please let me know if one pops up on Instagram.

142 comments:

Spokey said...

podia yeller

Kenny Banya said...

podium

Morning Machine Fred said...

Podium!!??

Yahoo! Can read now.

ken e. said...

something something photo bomb

Spokey said...

the deuce and yeller in 1 day

Kenny Banya said...

Immodium

Bama Phred said...

Podioio

Serial Retrogrouch said...

tzit tzit!!!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.

Maybe helments aren't such a bad idea.

Bama Phred said...

Damn captcha. Had to enter twice. Congrats to every one on podium.

Robert Hardison said...

top ten????? damnit!

commentator_potatoes said...

It's July and no contract for 2015. Sweet, sweet SnobbyTour points here I come.

No Vuelta for me with this fine result.

Stuart Rasmussen said...

not DFL anyway...

Comment deleted said...

I'm really enjoying your crack photography, WCRM.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Meta is as meta....

Anonymous said...

Those are mad bike handling skilz to get photos with a smartphone while riding a Citibike one-handed in congestion.

Bama Phred said...

This post cracks me up.

Anonymous said...

In Flux

babble on said...

LOL!! Nice little bit o'crack photography there, snobberdooder. Thanks for sharing. Oh! Next time you give us another selfie to ponder, please include the tattoo, too, mkay?

Anonymous said...

Who needs to follow TdF coverage when there's such detailed reporting closer here on teh homefront! Oh the excitement!

Fred of the Sea said...

So, the pudgy, "beard" jersey, Fred has, inter alia, what appears to be a "no tools" symbol on his center pocket. Does this mean he belongs to the sect of "schnorrers" who are sworn to tool-lessness and borrow essentials on the road?

James said...

@RCT - You should pitch "Coconut week" to Discovery channel since everyone loves stories of the deadly and dangerous.

DB said...

Thanks for the mention, Wildcat. I have been taking Ciprofloxicin since getting out of the water.

semi serious cyclist said...

The Cat 6 travails never get tiring. Its a new peloton every day!

Bama Phred said...

And I might add Snob has crack bike skilz to ride, photograph, text, talk, and probably munch on Froot Loops all whilst Cat 6'ing across the bridge.

Roille Figners said...

Coconuts don't kill people, mean-ass coconut-chuckers do.

CommieCanuck said...

I was in Hell's Satans, later renamed to the Christ Punchers. Long, ugly rivalry with Satan's Helpers. Long story, but it had to do with buttless leather chaps and a club in NYC and a HUGE misunderstanding.

Buffalo Bill said...

Nice fashion shoot, I guess. When will we see a spread in the times?

Roille Figners said...

Crap henge!
'Tis a magic place
Where the moon doth rise
With a dragon's face

Craphenge looks like it's based on some drawrings by little tykes. (Not a compliment.) (Unless it's actually based on drawrings by little tykes.)

crosspalms said...

It's a veritable crackatoa here today.

That Dick Tracy watch is OK, but the green shoes are great. Me want.

JLRB said...

SPeaking of Crack - Rob Fords is 5 meters high

Oh the humanity

leroy said...

My dog informs me that the leader in the swim across the East River gets to wear the Maillot Jaundice.

I wonder if he meant the Speedo Jaundice.

Mr Plow said...

Wildcat:
I believe it's called a "smarting phone"

CommieCanuck said...

@RCT - You should pitch "Coconut week" to Discovery channel since everyone loves stories of the deadly and dangerous.

Monday: Palm Trees of Death
Tuesday: Macaroons of Massacre
Wednesday: Mounds bars of Dayhem
Thursday: Cream Pie of Cremation
Friday: Pina Colada Fridays
Saturday: Hangover of Doom.

Roille Figners said...

"Thanks for your note. I realize the 'shitty Post-It Note' format has its limitations; however it's my opinion that when a society has sufficient... Oops, out of room!"

crosspalms said...

Commie,
Lots of sirens near my work right now. Dayhem!

Anonymous said...

Hey, how do you like that smart watch? What on earth inspired you to get one?

Roille Figners said...

So the playground dedication, is that not the same lady Fords wanted to "jam"?

*using a popular search engine*

Yep, it is. And now he craps all over her photo-op, nice.

Of COURSE his son has long hair and is named "Dougie."

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:23pm,

It was a gift. It's good for when my phone is buried in my jersey pocket or backpack and I need to be reachable.

(Yes, part of the fun of riding is being unreachable, but when you've got seventeen (17) kids you worry about being off the grid.)

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Blog Drafter said...

Your selfie reveals a helmnetless head…you're really pushing the envelope here.

hellbelly said...

Today's post was a most hilarious. See ya in Steamboat. Thanx, Snob

grog said...

crack the wit snobbers.

McFly said...

Nice try but I am pretty sure I know a Casio calculator watch when I see one.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...that last photo of man taking photo: that will be me in some years... i already have all that gear, all i need is the capri jeans, grey hair and i'm set.

Unknown said...

A+ commuting post would read again

RoadQueen said...

Nice Coconuts.

*wink*wink*

Off to the store to get some coconut milk...I'll just stuff it in my front rack.





By the way, it had to be explained to me last night by a fellow commenter that y'all weren't talking about the front rack on my beik cycle yesterday during the century sprint. I didn't get it. *facepalm*

Perverts.

(I love you all anyway and I forgive you.)

*Lowers self into mind-gutter to keep up today*

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...queenie, i didn't comment about your front rack yesterday because i wanted to comment on your front rack today.

...your front rack complements your bike nicely.

DB said...

Speedo Jaundice.
Casio calculator watch.
Dayhem.
Green shoes.
Good ones today.

trama said...

kinda a shit hole you got there snob, not sure why but it seems like a shit hole to me. I'm off to make more coffee

STAR TATT

Flyover Goy said...

Excuse my ignorance, but I thought tattoos were/are forbidden. I doubt the tzitzit will rectify the tattoos, but what do I know?

JLRB said...

What if you got a tattoo of a tzitzit?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Wednesdays make me oaranoid.

Flyover BC said...

No wonder the biker is pissed. The other guy parked a Honda twin next to the Ducati.

That's as bad a guy on an aluminum Fuji latching on to a group of dentists riding Colangos.

McFly said...

I think I like the CB better than the Duck.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Flyover BC,

It's a four, not a twin.

I think it's cooler than the Ducati.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Fred of the Sea said...

To my lay understanding, tattoos are taboo as a desecration of God's image. This makes one wonder who snuck up on God and cut his prepuce off and what did he do to her?

Anonymous said...

Lots of salmonizing on the Williamsburg Bridge. Simple lane markings aren't going to do it. You need a Lectrified fence.

vsk

Rackass said...

That rack is certainly a TCB Rack and not a CETMA Rack. Get it right, ding dong.

Honda Goy said...

Oops, the Duc just fell over. I guess it slipped of the stand.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Rackass,

At least I was right about the other guy not having a shirt.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

crosspalms said...

Flyover
Are Colangos Australian? They sound Australian.

Euro Dandee said...

"his kerchief matches his socks for chrissake". That is not sartorial in my book. Pocket handkerchief should complement the tie. No tie, no prize though, okay, he does look more dapper than anyone else in this Bill-Cunningham-on-wheels escapade.

Anonymous said...

I thought the Manhattan bridge was taken over by the All Powerful Bicycle Lobby of NYC yesterday?! Or was that, "they gave up"?

https://twitter.com/BicycleLobby

Herschel Raney said...

Curses.

I quote the, no doubt, beautiful Maria from Walz caps when she says:
"We did not anticipate the demand we have received for the new Bike Snob caps, so unfortunately we have run out of stock."

Which means you bastards got yours first. Or BSNYC, on estimating the public demand for the Walz guys, with his usual confidence, said oh, five or six.

Still capless in wild america dodging deer.

And fuck that robot test.

Anonymous said...

Brooklyn Bridge, my bad.

PatriotArchitectBot9000 said...

Cameo of the new world trade center building (Freedom Tower?) in the background of photo 26.

JLRB said...

Beware of people eating while driving, and (big shocker) opening doors into traffic. Crashes involving bicycles are on the rise

Anonymous said...

"Beware of people eating while driving..."

Do we need to beware of people smart phone photoing while biking?

JLRB said...

Not if they are semi-professional bike bloggers with mad skills

JLRB said...

Herschel - I got the same message. So much for mine going with me to a far off land and getting photoed with the Fredliest group of Freds around in the background.

Sno oze
los e

BamaPhred said...

But I do worry about Snob being attacked while photographing someone objecting to being photographed, referencing the recent Anthony Cumia event.

Flyover BC said...

Oh a CB400f, I assume. Yep, it's definitely cooler than a monster.

In the photo, it looked too narrow to be an F, and I can-t see the four-into-one pipes, on the right side. On the other hand, the cut of the seat is definitely low profile, triumph style, cb-f fare.

Back in my misspent youth, I was an Yamaha RD guy.

gE said...

You know that helmentless idiot that takes pictures while riding his bike? I read his blog, that magnificent bastard.

Flyover BC said...

Colangos? Colnagos? It's all the same if the boss knocks on the office door before I can edit my bad typing. At least he's a dedicated Fred.

Otherwise it's itsMrel effecting

BikeSnobNYC said...

Flyover BC,

It was a 550Four, which caught my eye because my brother had one, which is why I noticed the note.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1904 Cadardi said...

Hey Commie,

If chaps have a butt, aren't they called pants?

Anonymous said...

RQ for the record I prefere Big Twins. I like the way they rumble and shake when you are really getting after it. They make you just want to uncork it and let it fly.

crosspalms said...

Flyover,
I hear you. I'm pretty quick with the minimize button some days...

robot wants a north african bike race right now: touragg start

gE said...

Sigh, I remember when Monsters used to be cool. Now everyone rides one. Maybe I'd get a SV650 just to replicate that Duc-exhaust note.

Anonymous said...

BSNYC, I always assumed you were a apple smarting phone type of guy....you know, because you are so cool.

Does anyone else see sexual images in that bike sculpture?

Flyover BC said...

550Fs are rarer than 400Fs in my estimation.

I like the SV650s too. But my last bike was an '06 Kaw 750, and the first after 22 year layoff.

I sold it with low miles because I decided I was happier and healthier on a $400 hybrid cruising the mean-streets and bike paths of ABQ.

Down In The Dumps said...

Being passed by a cyclist sporting a pair of 'plumbers pants' is what is known as 'the bums rush' an accident occurring whilst being passed by a cyclist utilizing the 'bums rush' is called a 'wipe out'.*

*There might or might not be tell-tale skid marks.

Comment deleted said...

Flyover, that happened to me, too, after about 200K miles on an R80ST followed by a multi-year layoff. After I fixed up the neglected Beemer, I took it for a spin in the hills, then decided I liked gasoline-free biking better. I still haven't brought myself to sell the thing, though.

I *do* still miss the long cross-country trips, which I will not be doing on a bicycling cycle anytime soon.

Spokey said...

JLRB @ 4:26 PM

maybe they just didn't feel they could provide the info but that study / conclusions doesn't look well done.

They even admit that they don't know what the driving habits are yet Men are worse drivers? Maybe they have more driving occurrences. Maybe they drive more miles / hours. Who knows but the only conclusion without more info is no conclusion.

Same thing Most crashes happen through no fault of the driver Really? I guess they decide that because "No violation" is more than 1/2. Again a poor conclusion. I'm guessing this means no citation issued. Quite different than no violation and nothing to say about no driver fault. Other than Pedestrian Violation and perhaps Driver Vision Obstructed, they all look like they are driver fault. So the only real conclusion without more info is that about 98% of the accidents are driver's fault.

I'm wondering if Julie Zauzmer is the nom de plume for Laura Weintraub

< 1/2 a Litre Rider said...

I agree Flyover. I think the 550 had a dry sump too. I had much fun with my 400 Four. 10 1/2 red line. It felt like you were fast even if you really weren't.

Spokey said...

I felt like I was going fast on my '65 Honda CB160 even at 50. Much worse than 130 in the 260Z

Roille Figners said...

I used to do 46 on my 4789DLK-JF until the fibalabalators gave out... and I had to find a new perforated baffle grommet to fit the scupper flange!

Fun times though.

Flyover BC said...

I used to sell Hondas. We were allowed to take used bikes for errands and such. My boss once gave me the keys to a nearly new VF1100 (Sabre) told me to go a town that was 70 miles away, get some papers signed, and don't be gone too long.

After many years riding flighty two-stroke Yamahas, I had a lot f trouble keeping it under 105, but never went over 130 either, mostly because my helment was floating on my head, that and the lack of a fairing.

1904 Cadardi said...

Roille,

I know right?

While you were in there, did you change the muffler bearing and the canuder valve?

FLETCH said...

IT'S ALL BALL BEARINGS THESE DAYS

Flyover BC said...

I had the similar problem with a Bulhusqjawa 60 back in the day.

The amortiresortcznec broke after I took a jump and caught about 8 inches of big air. To keep it running till I got back to the truck, I had bend the alambjorkenczk until it pressed against the elvirkewicz and held the laskjunkawitski open just enough to keep running.

The worst part was that it took six weeks to spell the distributor's name right and another three months to get a replacement part.

< 1/2 A Litre Rider said...

Got me an ancient BMW/6 now that feels like you're riding in an armchair, unfortunately it handles and brakes like an armchair too. It's only got four valves to adjust though and... Oh... Wait... This is about bicycles... I've got me an ancient Schwinn that feels like you're pedalling an armchair...

Roille Figners said...

I didn't know Bulhusqjawa used amortiresortcznecs on the 60! I thought that was just the 61 and up. But according to Google, you're right!

Roille Figners said...

OK OK... I used to have a CM400.

Roille Figners said...

95

Roille Figners said...

96

you're all waiting to cockblock... i can FEEEL it

Roille Figners said...

Polish 100! Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoooooo!(*)


(*)I'm part Polish so according to the laws of comedy it's totally okay for me to make this joke.

Roille Figners said...

98 tsk. I guess I'm just the only one here. Who's a big lame-o?

Spokey said...

which is better? Rear Racks? Front Racks?

anyone?

RQ?

Spokey said...

100?

Roille Figners said...

Doot-de-dooo, I'll just blithely do this 99th comment.

Roille Figners said...

Whoa shit!

Spokey said...

sorry roille

couldn't let the attack stand. But I applaud the polish mtn top finish today

Roille Figners said...

Nice one Spokers!

Spokey said...

danke

Spokey said...

grandpa come over on the tater boat. But I ain't jokin. Some serious libating on my weekly conf call

RoadQueen said...

Spokey - rear rack vs front rack is an invalid argument. It's all in the eyes of the beholder, but I don't think anyone will disagree that having both is superior over one or the other.

Just saying.

gE said...

Soooo, uh, supposing I got me another motorsickle, what should I look for in a shed to store it in?

Shed Snob BC

Spokey said...

gE

got a 2 car garage? A bay taken up by a spouse? Is there a problem?

dancesonpedals said...

spokey reminds me of oscar freire...always there to grab the win when someone celebrates to soon


strong work at the century again

dancesonpedals said...

d'oh! too soon

dancesonpedals said...

he did it more than once

Spokey said...

wouldn't taken the line except roille did the polish count thing. Hadn't even realized the sprint was on. If you see an opportunity, you grab it with gusto

McFly said...

Sunday morn and ol bud stopped by I had not seen in years. On an '85 Yamaha Vmax. So I rode it. 150 hp. That V Boost is a real thing I tells ya.

Anonymous said...

That note on the motorbike is written by a very frustrated timid little man. You can tell by the backwards slanting writing and the aggressive, but tremulous strokes. He'd never have the guts to confront the other rider face-to-face.

He may have a case regarding the closeness of the parking, though -- Snobby makes the mistake of assuming the note writer was the Ducati rider. It's more likely, is it not, that the note writer was parked in earlier and wrote the note before extricating his bike?

Those sculptures look like a school project.

The earphone cord detangler is on a bike slightly too big for him; his goolies are being crushed in that photo.

The smart watch is not the most notable element in the next photo. The "hanging on for grim death and [literal] white knuckle ride" grip is.

The first salmoning pedestrians look embittered and burdened -- probably best to let their salmoning slip.

It has already been addressed in the comments, but other, more dignified terms than "crack", include Plumbers Cleavage and Coin Slot.

The beard Fred cuts in way too tight. But he's got an experienced cyclist's calves so maybe he knows what he's doing.

You gotta admire the old beer Fred -- his retro commitment extends to riding with toeclips.

NY must be the only big city on earth where waterfront properties haven't been converted into highly coveted and unaffordable housing for hipsters.

Good observational work on spotting the colour-coordinated wardrobe of that well dressed chap, but what about the Spike Lee Fred behind him. He's wearing orange spandex with white piping and matching shoes! He also appears to be wearing his helment unfastened, but I wouldn't wish to resurrect yesterday's controversy.

That other bank bike rider might be getting a high speedo reading, but he has to stand on the pedals to do it -- not so impressive.

I wouldn't be too impressed with yourself for catching up with beard and beer Freds, beard Fred is obviously saying to beer Fred "hey, look at that sweating dork on the bank bike. He doesn't realise we deliberately slowed down just to tease him, wanker!".

And it seems colour-coordinating one's wardrobe is a skill that female cyclists have not mastered -- the helment of that rider DOES NOT match the bank bike and she sticks to a safe and unchallenging all-black outfit.

I'd like to know what happened after the photo was shot of the bank bike guy scrambling to catch the rack guy and shirtless guy. The look of resolve and clarity of perpose on the bank bike guy's face makes me think he reeled them in very quickly.

When did calf-humping-reptile-tattoos become part of the Fred ouevre?

Never mind the SUV parked in the bike lane, those buildings in the background are the greater danger -- they're leaning so much they're in imminent danger of toppling over! Be careful out there!

If the selfie was inadvertent, what were you meaning to photograph?

Speaking of inadvertent pictures, the final shot appears to have captured a fashion shoot in progress. Note the guy in the yellow shirt and crimson pants with the bulging crotch standing at the far side of the pedestrian crossing. Look at his stance/demeanour. He's obviously a professional model striking a pose for the photographer who was momentarily distracted by a well dressed cyclist nearby.

And I thought those fire escape stairs on the outside of buildings were only in the movies. NY is so quaint.

dancesonpedals said...

my take away for the day was craphenge

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Limey Fred getting hit whilst riding on the wrong side (his right (but really left)) side of the road.
Article is stupid but video is not.
http://sploid.gizmodo.com/cyclist-films-his-own-road-accident-saves-life-miracul-1609787773/+caseychan

Philip said...

Commie... "Technically ALL chaps are assless."
Actual quote from an actual leather goods retail assistant.

Moral: Never try to embarrass the leather goods guy. It's not his first day.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

Captcha knows I'm not a robot. For the last few weeks it gives me words but replaces them with numbers just as I start typing.

Sean said...

I'm the token Asian Zoobomber! (I'm also definitely a cop)

Anonymous said...

peter sagan on alderall was quite fantastic.
I don't see anything amidst the wrist hair.
Shangri-La by ELO was today's accompaniment to your blogger. Thanks for a wikked laugh yo.

JLRB said...

early pile curation

Anonymous said...

I have put stuff on a front rack and I have put stuff on a rear rack. I enjoy doing both. Equally.

Anonymous said...

Gal in last photo is using a spot meter to calculate the precise exposure for her 35mm FILM camera that is hanging around her neck

Selfish question said...

Do shellfish to selfies?

Jake Dean said...

I was taking a photo with one hand, panic-braked with the other, and catapulted myself off my Dahon the other day. Never again. (well maybe once in a while)

BamaPhred said...

I'm with everyone else on craphenge. There is a lot of craphengeii here, mostly of the lawn ornament variety. Tires, broken down vehicles, stupid silhouettes, dressed up mannequins, old tools made to look like animals, every other kind of blighted tackiness the folk art medium can deliver, it's here.

And Nibali is still wheel sucking his way to the podium.

Anonymous said...

why no gal crack?

JLRB said...


Jake - I agree on staying away from Dahons.

BamaPhred said...

And The Shark attacks! This may get interesting yet

David Pearce said...

I like you, Bike Snob,

From your last picture for today's post, is that photographer wielding two cameras, or is the thing he is holding up to his eye a view finder to find a good shot or a light meter to find the right exposure?

Ah, hardcore photographers, always looking for good shots, juggling bulky equipment!

McFly said...

Pretty sure the last guy is taking a picture of a sandwich. Instead of eating it.

Ishmael said...

Caught your eye!

crosspalms said...

The Chicago team working on that city bike design contest gets written up in local alt-weekly. Not a lot of details, but apparently the bike has two wheels and they're round.

Roille Figners said...

Oh lordy, one look at their sketches and you know they're doomed. Actually one look at the words "design the ultimate utility bike" and you know they're doomed.

Roille Figners said...

"We didn't want to focus on winter, because that was a downer, but it does exist, right? It's an obstacle to biking year-round."

Yeah, what a draaag, maaaan. It's like, such a... downer?

crosspalms said...

"Ideation." Yargh. But props to them for actually talking to a frame designer...

Roille Figners said...

Like in "suicide ideation?" Look under that - the next guy's in charge of "concepting."

I like the guy with the necklace, pouty Facebook-photo face, carefully mussed hair and popped collar who says he wanted to get away from hipster shit.

Roille Figners said...

Also if a band uses a brick wall as a backdrop they end up here.

diamondmarine said...

thank you for this! pretty damn hilarious, is there an SF edition somewhere....

Anonymous said...

So early? I just came to read Mondays post.

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