BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

First of all, buy a hat!

Second of all, people need to stop with the "data visualization" crap, because it doesn't work:

(Via Twitter)

However, it’s also a lesson in the drawbacks of data visualization. In this case, the data is incredibly one-dimensional, and doesn’t necessarily accurately represent the best ways to get around the city. In addition to time, people take into consideration cost, what they need to carry, and what the weather conditions are.

Indeed.  Here's the "vizualizer" itself, which purports to tell you the fastest way to get around in a particular city:

Apparently, Manhattan and Brooklyn are cities unto themselves, and the rest of New York City does not exist--which you already know if you read the New York Times.  Here's Manhattan by way of example:

So what does this even mean?  You click on an address and it tells you how what the fastest way is to get...where exactly?  Here's your answer:

To make this map, we gridded up the city at the block-group level, and then computed the time using each mode of transport from the centroid of the source block group to the centroid of the destination block group using the Google Maps API.  For driving, we added a buffer time for parking and walking, and then we compared the four resulting times and colored the block-group based on the minimum.

Oh, okay, the centroid of the destination block group.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Look, forget about the map.  Here's everything you need to know about the fastest way to get around in Manhattan:

--If your trip is less than 50 blocks it's probably faster to ride.
--If your trip is between 50 and 75 blocks it's probably a toss-up.
--If your trip is over 75 blocks it's probably faster to take the subway.
--Forget driving anywhere unless you know all the parking secrets like I do.
--If your trip is less than 10 block just walk, you lazy slob.
--Bicycle travel time for one (1) block of protected bike lane is equivalent to bicycle travel time for three (3) blocks without bike lanes, or one (1) crosstown block, so factor that in accordingly;
--If it's Hot As Balls just take the subway, provided your actual subway time is at least three (3) times longer than your projected platform wait time, because that's how long it will take for the subway's air conditioning to reconstitute the lump of molten plastic you've become while waiting at the station;
--If the subway car is empty, do not get in, because it means someone took a dump on the floor.

If you're planning to visit Manhattan as a tourist this summer I recommend printing and laminating the above and carrying it with you at all times.

Here's Brooklyn:

Brooklyn is way simpler than Manhattan.  Basically, the red represents asshole drivers, and the yellow represents asshole drivers in Subarus, but if you've visited Brooklyn recently need "data visualization" to tell you that then you probably also need an interactive map to tell your ass from your elbow.  Also, a bike is faster in almost all cases, because the subways are for going to Manhattan, and there's always car traffic because of all the aforementioned assholes.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then I'm like sooo happy for you, and if you're wrong you'll see "Breakaway."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and buy a hat.


--Wildcat Rock Machine

(Courtland Milloy standing neck-deep in his own bullshit.)

1) Washington Post columnist and in-house moron Courtland Milloy says cyclists are:

--Bullies
--Terrorists
--Riding past churches and hiding their twisted agenda behind Kermit the Frog
--All of the above

2) The Orange County cyclist who was assaulted by a pickup truck driver lobbing full Gatorade bottles could face charges.

--True
--False

(Remember the Square Wheels Epidemic of 2011?)

3) The Tour de France is facing a:

--Doping epidemic
--Selfie epidemic
--Theft epidemic
--Sharting epidemic

("Hmmm, pretty smooth and dry in here.  Maybe he's on to something...")

4) After a disastrous Stage 5, Bradley Wiggins said Chris Froome should "stick to riding in tunnels."

--True
--False

5) The act of engulfing cyclists and other undesirables in noxious fumes from your pickup truck is called:*

--"Rollin' Coal"
--"Fartin' Soot"
--"Smokin' Freds"
--"Havin' parents who are also close relatives"


*There are two acceptable answers to this question.

(Slip it in.)

6) The H-Zontal prone recumbent features a special hole that allows you to urinate while riding.

--True
--False

(Tim "I Like My Bikes The Way I Like My Blazers: Off The Rack" Barber riding his bicycle in traffic like a big boy.)

7) Artist and blazer enthusiast Tim Barber says that cycling in New York City is like:

--"weaving your own pattern into the street grid"
 --"an insane flying video game of chaos"
--"tonguing a maraschino cherry out of the hairy navel of God"
--"a mundane rolling video game in which you travel slightly faster than walking speed"

***Special World Cup Action-Themed Bonus Video!!!***