Tuesday, June 24, 2014

[Crosses line in first place, raises hands triumphantly, crashes spectacularly.]

In case you haven't noticed, road bikes with disc brakes have arrived.  At this point, even an old fusspot like me realizes the change is inevitable, and I can live with it just as long as it makes life more difficult for pro tour teams and their mechanics.  However, I'm only getting older and slower, so I have no interest whatsoever in the technology myself--if anything, as male osteoporosis slowly renders my bones brittle and hollow, by the time I'm in the market for a new road bike even rim brakes will be overkill and I'll probably be pricing subterranean recumbents.

No, what fascinates me is the manner in which the bike companies and media are lubing us up for the insertion of road discs into our marketplace.  There's a time-honored process by which they work together to convince Freds that they absolutely must have something, and this review of the Trek Domane Whatever is a perfect example of how it works:


Firstly, Freds love lurid prose that makes riding sound like a sex act, so you've got to have plenty of that:

As we've experienced in the past, there's fantastic power on tap with minimal hand effort along with a positive initial bite that's far from grabby or overly abrupt.

Done.  In this case, Huang has successfully made braking sound like the best handjob ever.

Secondly, Freds love comparisons to obsolete technology in other vehicles that are nothing like bicycles:

Quite tellingly, at one point during testing we climbed back aboard another test bike with broken-in Mavic Exalith 2-treated wheels – arguably the benchmark for rim brake performance – and the difference was akin to driving a car with disc brakes versus drums.

Cunningly, James Huang knows that the average Fred knows absolutely nothing about automotive braking beyond "disc=good" and "drum=bad."  He also knows there's virtually no way for even the most curious Fred to perform a meaningful comparison between a car with disc brakes versus one with drum brakes, because a car with four (4) drum brakes on it is likely to be much older (or at least much different) than one with four (4) disc brakes and therefore shittier in any number of ways, including but by no means limited to braking.  So unless a Fred has recently done a full disc brake conversion on a 1964 Corvair and has some solid back-to-back driving experience, it's impossible to call the reviewer on this incredibly audacious bluff.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, Freds need to be frightened:

Given the company's global market and various national safety guidelines, Trek officially can only officially approve the Domane Disc worldwide for use with tyres no wider than the included 25mm Bontrager treads

This is simply brilliant on Trek's part.  Clearly one of the unintended side-effects of putting disc brakes on road bikes is that it makes them more versatile.  Therefore, by voiding Fred's warranty if he fits tires wider than 25mm, Trek can make sure he's forced to buy some kind of completely new Wide Tire Certified® bicycle should he ever be tempted to ride on gravel.  (Note in particular the double use of "officially" to underscore the point.)

I certainly wouldn't challenge with Trek on that front either.  After all, this is the same company that, after their steerer tubes kept failing, invented the concept of the "incompatible stem" to simultaneously cover their asses and make sure Freds don't use competitors' products:


Naturally, installing a 28mm tire on your dick break-equipped Domane would be similarly irresponsible.

Anyway, expect bike companies and reviewers to build on the "frightening" aspect in the coming months.  I predict that, by 2016, operating a rim brake-equipped road bike will be considered so grossly irresponsible among the Fred community ("No way I'd descend behind someone with rim brakes!") that anyone attempting to do so will be shouted off the Sunday group ride.

Hey, it happened with helments.

Meanwhile, as disc brakes take over the roads, kiddie products are taking over Kickstarter, and here's the latest one along with a song that's not annoying at all:



I love a good mesmerizing graphic:


I also love anything that promotes "independance:"


And of course good spalling!

But most of all, I love when children ask adorably stupid questions:


Awww, isn't that cute?  As a parent, my reply would have been "Because dogs are fucking morons," but I'm not a compulsive Kickstarter inventor like this guy, and you can already see the wheels turning in his head:


("Hmmm, that gives me another idea...")

I give it a month before he launches his latest creation:



I like how the guy filming says "That's cool," because there is absolutely nothing cool about anything going on in this video.  This is as dorky as it's possible to get on an upright bike, and if he added one more goofy element (a helment mirror or a pair of sunglasses on the dog, for example) the bicycle would instantaneously transform into a recumbent.

And if you do "portage" a child on your bicycle's top tube, make sure you don't do so in conjunction with this thing, unless you want to hear it constantly:




Like most Kickstarter inventions, this one is born of a stupid question:



"Why should we be limited to traditional bells and lights?"

Probably the same reason we limit ourselves to two wheels and human power: because we ride fucking bicycles.

Nevertheless, that's not going to stop him from creating a pointless noisemaker that's grossly disproportionate to the vehicle for which it's intended:


"MyBell is the world's first customizable digital bike horn."

Here's a tip for all would-be bicycle entrepreneurs: forget about the goddamn horns already.  Need to make sounds?  Get a bell.  Just because cars have something doesn't mean bikes need them too.  Car horns don't do shit even on cars, and the ones that really don't do shit are the idiotic novelty ones that blow the theme from the "Godfather," which is basically what this is.

Also, this dramatization is really convincing:


Punishing people you already see with a blast of sound for no reason is a great way to reduce yourself to the moronic level of the typical motorist.  Just go around him, numbskull!  You're on a silent machine and you're two feet away--and if your insufferable smugness still compels you to communicate additional information to the hapless pedestrian, at least have some "pants yabbies" and use your voice.

Telling someone to watch where they're going is being smug; sounding your high-decibel plastic noisemaker at them is just plain Being A Dick.

Though I admit I kind of want a horn that says this:

 

Ideally I'd have a button for each phrase so I could play "Ride your little bah-sickle!" repeatedly as I "Cat 6" across the Manhattan Bridge.

Lastly, speaking of people looking for handouts, the Belkin Pro Cycling Team wants you to support them now that title sponsor Belkin has crapped out like a Belkin router:


With 10 euro’s, you will not only support THE Dutch cycling team, but you will also become a part of our TEAM. Help us remain the TEAM and to maintain the history, so we can give you many years of excellent achievements in return. We will use the money we have raised as follows: 1) It will be used to keep THE Dutch cycling TEAM on the road. 2) It will be used for a special project for the fans who have supported us. 3) If the TEAM does stop, all the money raised will go to a good cause. 

Yeah, right.  Donating money to a pro cycling team seems only marginally less wrong that donating it to General Motors.

146 comments:

Reggie said...

First?

Anonymous said...

Podiumz

Reggie said...

Early bird podium sweep?

Damien Sheppard said...

Ohhh Top 5?

dickey said...

Is it TUE-sday already?

Clint McFarland said...

I beat my brother, McFly. Ew that's gross

Anonymous said...

reprocessing

geoff_tewierik said...

Meh, top 10's not like it used to be.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to talk about it, and I haven't given it a second thought...

ce said...

What the hell are you doing in my timezone again Snobbo?

Anonymous said...

It's the other way around. You wouldn't descend behind someone with disc brakes.

Cause they're gonna stop and you're gonna not.

Unless they're on non-trek-approved tyres.

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

Babble, Couldn't you still go to Wreck Beach and just leave the sling on? It really doesn't count as being an article of clothing.

Rapha Doesn't Suck. said...

its fuckin early. Snob.

Anonymous said...

That warranty voiding from running 28mm tyres means that the fork will buckle from the braking forces if there's too much rubber on the tarmac.

Don't be a Fred.
Don't buy a Trek.

LDRcycles said...

Top 20!

James said...

Couldn't sleep?

Anonymous said...

Morning all

cycle

Angry Beaver in Miramichi said...

I had a dream last night that Babble was leading the sprinters in a wild & woolly blow out to the finish of a stage of the Tour du Vancouver, but she was riding handless because both her arms were in slings, and she beat the Manx Bullet, Cannonball, Rabbit or whatever he is. But when she crossed the line she couldn't raise her arms in triumph, so the judges DQ'd her.

GeneticsBot9000 said...

Top tube kidde seat guy looks like a certain bike blogger we know. I’m calling twins separated at birth.

Bryan said...

Early post Sir Snob-a-lot. I like it. I hope that means you will be on your little bah-sickle getting some good footage for a picture laden post.
Why do people have such bad grammar and/or spelling? You didn't call out MyBell guys for using "your" instead of "you're" when they freak out Mr. Pedestrian, so I have to do it. No way I am donating money to someone who cannot put together grammatically correct graphics. If you don't know the difference between your and you're I do not trust you will be making a product that is worth my time.

Hope you have a good Tuesday! Watch out for recumbents.

Anonymous said...

I've got the horn...in the Derek and Clive sense of the word.

DB said...

Everyone's up early.

Bama Phred said...

Need to run the dog bicycle Kickstarter by Leroy's Dog first. It just may get the streaming media treatment.

£6000 for a new Domane? Sure, sign me up for two. (Rolls eyes)

Thanks Snob, between the daylight posting and the subject matter I have no hope for the rest of the day.

H Frame Presses said...

Last

Spokey said...

I gots some of them there drum breaks on the camry that I might own. A couple years ago sold my Z convertible car that I used to own with dik breaks.

I never noticed much difference except the dik breaks dried out faster when running through the flood waters.

That Z had aunti-lick breaks too. Now those aunti-lick systems make a diff. They take all the fun out of emergency breaking. Just like that front wheel drive takes all the fun out of trying to do snow donuts.


Linguistics dcaptlo be damned

Anonymous said...

Top XXX!!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Spokey,

I'm guessing your Camry has front dick breaks which are doing most of the work anyway.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

DB said...

Spokey! You should be resting after your victory last night.
Go get your massage and get ready for today's finish.

Spokey said...

what level do I need to get to the good dope backer reward?

Am I disqualified for having a couple linksys routers?


robots are themselves tiorywo worthless piles of steel

Spokey said...

snobby yes it does

you're a fucking spoiler.

and front breaks only do 90% of work if you drive forwards. That's for dikwads. Driving backwards is the thing anyway

Spokey said...

DB

we're a long way from today's sprint

Of course it will come sooner if i don't get my ass up and do something instead of wasting my morning here.

leroy said...

Dear Director of BSNYC Blog Quality Control -

My dog wishes to advise you in the strongest possible terms that he was profoundly offended by the irresponsible reply to the child's inquiry as to why dogs do not have bikes.

They are not as your so-called author opines "morons," non-chaste or otherwise.

Many dogs do have bikes. Some have bike stables of Huangian scope.

Others have sponsorship deals and do not need to purchase bikes.

Still others commandeer their human companions bikes as extended loaners so they do not have to adjust saddle height and swap out pedals each ride.


My dog demands that if this blog's so-called "author" wishes to walk his so-called "wit" at the expense of man's BFF, that the post be clearly marked with a NSFCS warning. ("Not Safe For Canine Sensibilities.")

Otherwise, my dog will mark the territory himself and then cancel my subscription.

He asks me to close with "Harrumph and good day to you sir."

Of course, I kind of enjoyed the post, but my dog doesn't think much of my sense of humor.

Jesse said...

Sometimes I wish I had a horn on my bike, but only to use on cars. I agree that using a bike horn on a pedestrian would be ultra-dickish.

The Robot Engineer said...

How in the world can the Mac Ride promote independence? It's exactly the opposite of independent - it's use is 100% dependent on the adult bike. In the video it somehow indicates that the adult carrying a strider bike on their back is linked to the use of their product.

Bama Phred said...

I know it's been talked to death. But I still can't wrap my head around disc brakes. When you already have the biggest "disk" of all, the tire rim. Put hydraulics and pistons up against that rim and lookout for the endo's and all the Gatorskins you can grind off doing phat skidz. Ok, rant over, back to finite regression scranalytics

Anonymous said...

Euro's? as in European currency?

's?

Ideats

wishiwasmerckx said...

Babble, you can go to Wreck Beach in your sling.

itedIt will make for some interesting tanlines.

Personally, I love the "One boob tan, one boob pale" look.

DB said...

I think Leroy is an attorney, or was one in a previous life.

paulb said...

How much more than that $10k plastic bike would one of GP's steel Roadeos weigh fitted up the same? (Except for brakes, I mean.)

gE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gE said...

("No way I'd descend behind someone with rim brakes!")

Yeah, that would be the typical fred response: concern yourself with the guy with rim brakes "theoretically" (in the marketing sense of the term) braking early and messing up your "rhythm" rather than being behind you and "theoretically" plowing into your Trek and your full Team Liquigas Cannondale kit.

I will sign up for the Kickstarter for the horn that says "Ride your little bah-sickle!" though. Naturally you'll promote it here since I only experience Kickstarter vicariously through this blog.

Bryan said...

So here is a bike if you are tired of getting "saddle sore" and either didn't know that recumbents exist or aren't quite ready to resign yourself to being one of those people yet, though I suspect being the guy on this thing is even worse.

gE said...

Bama Phred - it is not the role of the BSNYC commentariat to convince you how or what to ride; only to mock your choice. Even though 3/4 of my bikes have rim brakes, and even my dick breaks are cable actuated, I'm not above mocking you. But I got nuthin.

CommentatorBot9000 said...

"How much more than that $10k plastic bike would one of GP's steel Roadeos weigh fitted up the same?"

Well, fitted up the same means the only difference will be the frame weight. GP claims his 55 cm Roadeo weights 4 pounds (seems reasonable.) The lightest plastic frames weight about 2 pounds.

Anonymous said...

I have a bike with a tire driven bell. Sounds like an angry old analog phone (if there can be such a thing) ringing. They have them in Amazon and eBay - Ventura Tire Bell. Pretty cheap considering all the mechanicals involved. Best with a chrome fork so as not to scratch off the paint.

I had a 1962 Chevrolet Impala. 4 Wheel manual drum brakes. Not much on the 'modulation' brake pedal was basically an on/off switch. It was a 6cylinder so it did not go too fast anyway. But it was awesome.

vsk

Regular guy said...

Independance, is that dancing while wearing adult diapers?

If the dog guy's gut gets any bigger, there won't be room for Fifi on the top tube.

Would hate to snag the pants yabbies on the kid porter. It sure increases the stand-over height.

commentatorbot_92374 said...

Bama Phred,

The deal with running discs is the caliper can clamp down crazy-hard on the rotor. Generating the same brake force at the rim and there are all kinds of mechanical problems to overcome.

It doesn't mean they are "better" even though Huang desperately sells it that way. They have some benefits, mostly to commuters in wetter places. They have no place in road racing. Full stop.

Looking forward to some bargain-priced used bikes with caliper breaks coming online soon in the breathless cat 6 race to adopt dick breaks.

Spokey said...

vsk

Thought those early 60s were bad style years. Not my favorite, but at least the 59/60 had personality. My take for that era would be a '65. Nice lines. Classic impala rear lights. Plus by 65 they had spin off oil filters. Positive a '62 8 had a messy cartridge filter and I think the 6s still did too.


should be a clear day so I should not be shown saogy riding to the bank today.

McFly said...

Every hand job is the World's Greatest Handjob when it is being administered.

Unless it has initial bite.

JLRB said...

I purchased a Frek road bikecycyle with disk brakes several years ago - marketed as a commuter bike - little fenderettes, triple crank - eyelets for racks, etc. (Now the name disgusts me - the Portland - should have gone full out and named it Portlandia).

Anyway - it had silly Bontrager radial spoked wheels (which failed on me pretty quickly). Researching some, I realized the spoke count was too low for dick brakes - they designed and marketed a bah-cyclce that violated the component specs. (I suppose the braking force on the hub somehow stresses the spokes more? Engineers?)

The cable dicks are pretty good, but tough to dial in for the rear brake - the cable makes so many turns to get to that rear location. Hopeful they have improved the designs for the latest Fred dick braked chariots.

JLRB said...

One good thing about dick brakes over rim - I had a rim fail because the pads wore through the rim braking surface. Locked up the wheel - not a good thing.

However - if you pay attention and ditch rims as they get old and worn through its not a problem.

Bama Phred said...

Ok, so last comment on disc brakes vs rim, unless, of course, to mock, criticize, ridicule. So the rim just won't stand up to the clamping force. I can see that. Thanks.

JLRB said...

Ahhhh.... thinking about wind...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 8:16 thank you for the explanation.

Roille Figners said...

Jeezus there's something szechual about that kiddie bike seat. All undulating and thrusting like that, and thrusting as it undulates, and undulating as it thrusts....

*URGENT AUDIO WARNING TO LET PEOPLE KNOW MY COMING*

JLRB in engineering terms, you can't have radial spoking with dick breaks because it's totally fucked up.

In layman's terms it provides no way to transfer torque between the rim and hub without putting a disproportionate radial tensile force on the rim and spokes.

If anyone sold you a radially spoked wheel with dick breaks you should get your money back, and they should count themselves lucky you're not suing them out of existence with medical bills and such!

gE said...

Oh, what? We're being serious today? Good argument for soft compound brake pads too. Pads are cheaper than rims.

Comment deleted said...

McFly -- Louis C.K. would beg to differ.

Comment deleted said...

Dude, awesome subterranean recumbent. You could take an epic dirt nap in that.

Roille Figners said...

Not if you're buried in gravel. DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT GRAVEL-SPECIFIC COFFIN or you could DIIII.. hey wait a minute

Kenny Banya said...

"...crapped out like a Belkin router."

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

Comment deleted said...

"Better than the standard Domane in every way."

Fucking fuck. How do you even read this crap, Snobby? Thanks for doing it so we don't have to.

Magazine reviewers have all the integrity of a Chinese baby formula manufacturer. In Huang's honor, allow me to invoke another comic great, Bill Hicks.

babble on said...

mmm... naked... mmmm...

Ok. Soon as the sun comes back, I'm there. Sling or no sling.

When I see all of the kickstarter projects which help hapless parents teach their kids to ride bikes, I DO have to wonder just how I managed to do it without?!

Anonymous said...

After reading this interesting story on disc brake failure, I'm going to start stock-piling calliper brake-pads...

RoadQueen said...

Just now re-joining the pack from Thursday.

Still haven't cleaned my chain.

Babble - I hope you're mending well.

Snob - funny, but early today.

Oral surgical wisdom teeth extraction tomorrow - so I'll be bored, doped up and on here a lot for the rest of the week (in between naps).

You're welcome.

Roille Figners said...

Sounds a lot like my workday.

badap - TCHSSSS

blylan said...

Have you seen this new invention:
https://patchnride.com/

Apparently this dude couldnt even change a tube or tire withou "breaking his bike" So instead of learning proper bicycle maintenace, he invented this little tool

Spokey said...

i thought patch and ride looked like a decent idea. If it works of course. Tools looks kinda big but maybe would replace one of the spare tubes.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Make sure you get one of those visibility flags for your subterranean recumbent. Damn that thing rides low!

Anonymous said...

...plus the performance is unflappably consistent with rain, heat, and mud having minimal effect. We did experience a bit of noise when the rotors got hot along with a bit of lever rattle....

too bad i'm so flappable. sounds like this ride is out of my league.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CommieCanuck said...

Snob, as a Dad, you should enforce that there are no stupid questions, just stupid children.

ROPA DOPE

leroy said...

Asked my dog if I put removable panniers on a subterranean recumbent would I go to hell with a hand basket.

He threatened to sic his lawyers on me.

Freddy Murcks said...

Can someone please attempt to explain the no tires wider than 25mm with dick breaks thing? That doesn't even make very much sense from a marketing standpoint. I.e., when the shitty Bont Rager tires wear out after 25 or so miles, self-respecting freds (I know it's a contradiction in terms, so sue me) will go out and buy some other brand of 25 mm tire.




120

Anonymous said...

Babble, after hearing the sling comments I checked out your blog, wholly crap another accident? Looks like a bad one as well. Sounds like you're mending and in good spirits. Be careful out there (this from a guy who rides daily sans-helmet on the mean streets of NYC - but you're making me rethink that). "puttem in tha ditch" always makes me giggle, 100% of the time.

1904 Cadardi said...

Hey ce,

The fusee pouch.

I never knew those existed. Finally a way to easily carry highway flares, for peaceful traffic safety use only of course.

Stealing a page from the Best Made catalog: can we buy those, add a little embroidered logo (AHYSMFlare) and resell them for twice the price?

JLRB said...

Rollie -

This here Frek bahcycle is the one with crappy radial wheels.

Those lovely bonti select wheels did not like being stressed by the dick breaks so they broke. Wheels stayed the same through the final model year of 2011

To Frek's credit, when the rim failed, they sent me a replacement crappy wheel of equally bad design. Once it was FUBARed I had a set of wheels built with lots of spokes.

Somewhere in the Avid BB5 manual it said don't use with radial, and they recommended a minimum of 32 spokes. I guess Frek doesn't read the instructions.

JLRB said...

Ooops - 2011 where not radial anymore - so I guess they learned.

BamaPhred said...

Freddy Murcks I can only speculate that the increased contact patch of a wider tire combined with the greater stopping power of the disc brake would exceed the design limits of the Domane fork, frame, or both. Something I don't want to be on in any shape, form, or fashion.

McFly said...

MacRide looks like good times until Junior wrangles his foot out of the strap and lets it dangle for a bit then gets it in the spokes. Won't even need a fookin' brake disc or otherwise.

FOOT ENDO

Anonymous said...

Why use a horn or a bell when you can just yell GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY, FUCKHEAD

Spokey said...

cc @ 2:41 COD

crosspalms said...

If I need to stop in a hurry, I use antimatter. Expensive, but very effective.

gE said...

Just caught up on most of the linkways. $90k for that bell? To cover things like injection moulding? Seriously? Elly Blue endorsed it? Gawwwwd, I hayt biek advocado peeples! Run 'em inna deeeeeeeetch! Oh wait, I'll just put on this hair shirt now.

supposes eputsen - now McFly's running the capcha generator? (lame comments like this is why it usually gives me numbers)

Roille Figners said...

Yeah JLRB I see for 2011 they grudgingly went to what looks like maybe a 2-cross lacing pattern? Can't really see. And still not enough spokes. That ought to help it eventually still fail a bit less soonly.

The Portland - perfect name for a bike that's young, fresh, good-looking, dangerously ignorant of technical limits, and ends up wasting your time!

dancesonpedals said...

yabbies

dancesonpedals said...

be careful babel-

If you drink beer at wreck beach, you'll get sand in your schlitz

P. Bateman said...

the only horn worth having would be this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_8hRNHbYis

if you blow that horn at somebody, they will instantly recognize you as a person of great taste and means, and i'm sure will gladly step aside.

P. Bateman said...

oh and on the subject of rim job breaks, i ride an old 1986 Raleigh team pro with some old campy record braykes that have what i'm pretty sure are the original pads (like i'm gonna pay $50 to replace old campy pads - if i could even find them) and guess what? i've never once run into anything.

Anonymous said...

hey man. I've been riding dick brakes since 2008 on my road bike. Is cyclocross road? Besides, I really wanna see a regular bike transformed into a recumbant. Be sure to wear your helment. Is it Wednesday yet?

grog said...

My Prius has anti-matter breaks, and can stop on a dime. Unfortunately, the dime was in Mr. Roccoco's pocket.

DRUM ROLL
RIMS SHOT
CYMC RASH
DIKB REAK

Comment deleted said...

I'm beginning to believe the pinnacle of bicycle design occurred just before the dawn of crabon.

Narrower, fussier chains? Wheels so light they explode? Frames incapable of withstanding hard braking?

These are not improvements. Not unless you climb a lot of serious hills. And like taking your chances on the way back down.

DB said...

Leading out WIWM and Spokey.
Crosspalms for possible COD, but it's early.

DB said...

Regular Guy @ 11:46, McFly @ 11:59 and Leroy @ 2:41 are all serious contenders.

Roille Figners said...

Supportive Team Player at #94

Roille Figners said...

Wind Beneath Your Wings at #95

Roille Figners said...

Domestique at #96

Roille Figners said...

Levi George Hincapheimer at #97

Roille Figners said...

Rollie Fingers is one of only five relief pitchers in the Hall of Fame.

RoadQueen said...

98...

RoadQueen said...

99!!!

RoadQueen said...

100!!!

RoadQueen said...

Thank you, thank you.

I'll take my wine and my massage in my room, please.

Bring your dick brakes.

Roille Figners said...

Hah!

DB said...

Nicely stolen RQ!

gE said...

Roille 3:41 CoTD contender for the Trek Portland description.

Hunert 'n' third.

Spokey said...

wow

didn't expect a sprint like this today. i feel like such a deadbeat.

Anonymous said...

Comment deleted,

I don't know about a pinnacle, but there's still alloy being drawn for bieks. Kinesis is still going strong.

I am intermerested in the alloys with some nickle/stainless as frame failure due to rust has been a problem for sweaty me.

Dooth said...

Huang job on the dick brake.

Spokey said...

I'm usually a really sore loser, but kudos and podi to queenie.

You put me & wiwm to shame.

Comment deleted said...

Anon @ 5:04, despite FUD to the contrary, my aluminum frame hasn't disintegrated yet, but then I've only ridden it 25K.

I take it FrameSaver can't defeat sweat? A pity; there's not a much more strong and beautiful design than lugged steel.

McFly said...

Careful tomorrow RQ. One minute a group of people are knocking you out and putting stuff in your mouth and the next minute.......well.....

babble on said...

OMG I need more drugs. Kisses, Queenie m'dear. And cheers!

Yes, another one. And yep, it sucks this one. It's keeping me away from my happy place, and a trainer is a sad, sorry subsitute. The mum in me keeps scolding the whiner inside, reminding her that nobody ever actually ever died of boredom.

But it doesn't bode well when you start having conversations with yourself, does it?

Spokey said...

babs

what's wrong with conversing with one's self? I find such conversations stimulating (NOT IN THAT WAY!), entertaining, and enlightening.


When you can't find someone intelligent to talk to, talk to yourself



robot talks to itself 805 times a day

Freddy Murcks said...

I stopped yelling at the helmentless years ago. I figure that if the need to protect the contents of your skull is not self evident, then there may be nothing in your head worth protecting. Likewise, I don't yell at my refrigerator when I want it to be colder.




8311 (By the way, does the new (boring) Robot Captcha represent the fate of all of those house addresses that Google photographs for StreetView?)

babble on said...

That's a laugh. I'm too dopey to have an intelligent conversation right now. A stimulating one, (and yes OF COURSE in that way!) on the other hand...

Anonymous said...

Scranus

JLRB said...

That my bell is as sleek as a drive in movie speaker

Rex Richard said...

The owner of the world's largest rooster has a huge cock.

Leading Shoe said...

I'm running a front drum brake on my ride. It's not great at scrubbing off speed but it stops me the same in the wet as in the dry and I barely ever have to adjust it. I guess I'm just a low-tech-lazy sort of guy.

Its "Mr" Fucktard to you said...

I was thinking about the wind this morning, like it was like cyclonic like and blew me into the fucking ditch like. I got back to nature in a bad way.

Is that sliding kiddie seat so junior can experience the fun of having his pants yabbies slam into the stem?

Oh Freddy Murks... shouting at the helmentless only proves you are a fuckwit, and that is a much better reason to give it up rather than your excuse of having a surfeit of sanctimonious piousness.

oh yeah? said...

pretty big words for a fucktard

Roille Figners said...

I gave up shouting "GET AN ABORTION" at pregnant women a long time ago and I gotta say, people seem way less disgusted with me!

Anonymous said...

Ass Monkeys RETREAT!

zippy8 said...

I officially regret nothing about buying that Orbea Diem Drop Disc five years ago. Officially.

Nacnud said...

Is the DorkBell(TM) waterproof, 'cause, you know, rain?

Nacnud said...

...and in addition to Zippy8 @ 12:49 AM I too yield to none in my lack of regret at riding the dick break bikecycle that I own...

FactBot9000 said...

I figure that if the need to protect the contents of your skull is not self evident..."

http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/get_the_facts.html

http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/data/index.html

The vast majority of head injuries in the US do not involve bicycles. Slipping and falling in the bathroom in the number one cause of head injuries. Many more head injuries occur from motor vehicle accidents then bicycle accidents.

So why is the need to protect the contents of you skull only self-evident when on a bicycle?

ce said...

1904 Cadardi, I think you could sell them for three times the price and still put RCT out of business trying to sell his non bedazzled version. Would you consider a business partner? I've already made a logo, the most important facet of any business (see right).
Actually, the funny thing is, I ordered anew axe for work about two weeks ago and I am eagerly awaiting it's delivery. One of the first things I will be doing upon its arrival is bedazzling the end of the handle with some orange paint.

ce said...

If you read the description of the axe you will discover:

"...the handle design incorporates a larger butt swell to fit your hand comfortable."

I don't know what that means, but I'm getting really excited about this axe.

Anonymous said...

"The name X Marks the Pedwalk comes from a satirical story by science
fiction author Fritz Leiber that describes the beginnings of a war between
pedestrians and motorists. The story is glancingly referenced in Stephen
King's book Danse Macabre."


This only give it two stars but says:
One of the greatest industrial/EBM music groups and such a great concept to tAKE from :
Maybe the next book from you Mister Self Snobby Self Destruction nyC~~

"X Marks the Pedwalk by Fritz Leiber [1963 ss]

Bizarre tale of a war between the Peds (pedestrians) and the Wheels
(people who drive cars due to their underdeveloped legs).

Weird. And interesting idea. But weird."
oh I am getting so turn on while listening to "Rez Dog" by Aphasia
http://laferraille.bandcamp.com/

make me cum Caleb
Moreton

ce said...

CAN YOU SEE IT NOW

JB said...

I really want me one of those Niner gravel grinder cyclo cross machines. Because of the awesome geometry, groupset, tire clearance, or direct mount front derailleur?

Nope. Mostly because it looks badass.

JLRB said...

DB - 14 innings is too many.

JLRB said...

FBI Internet slang guide fails to contain any reference to scranus

alpaca lips said...

factbot9000 -- Everyone uses the bathroom (one hopes) and almost everyone drives around, but relatively few people ride bicycles, as any fule no.

So the fact that bathroom falls and motor vehicle accidents cause a larger absolute number of head injuries than bike crashes do is not particularly surprising, and says nothing meaningful about the risk.

jodphoto said...

Good morning! Aren't we up early?

I hereby solemnly swear to accidentally ram the first adult moron to use an electronic noisemaker to warn me out of their way. If they have a carbon frame, I'll ram them twice. If it's a woman, I'll apologize after ramming her and help her up. Kids are safe.

gE said...

HELMENTS!

NO HELMENTS!

HELMENTS!

NO HELMENTS!

This is fun! Strangely de ja vu though. Still, who ever gets tired of helment arguments? Not me, that's for sure.

Bama Phred said...

Does the FBI know AYHSMB?

DB said...

JLRB:
Luckily the game was blacked out by MLBtv in my area and it wasn't broadcast on cable so I could go to bed at a reasonable hour. It was great checking the score this am to find out Zimmerman homered and LaRoche nearly had to pitch. Nats!

commetatorbot_3972 said...

There is no helment debate only freeloaders wanting their merikin freedum to waste money.

How about not-so-traumatic helmentless injury, a trip to the ER and an MRI. Let's call it $5,000, and I know I'm low-balling that number.

Let's say every 5th cat6 bikeen crashtacular the helment does not defend against the evil forces of a head inury.
4x$5000 = 20000 saved
1x$5000 = 5000 spent on the one event the helment was no good.

Or, in a helmentless freedom party, just spend the minimum $25,000 on fixing people.

A helment only has to save a person from a trip to the ER about every third time to be cost effective.

I have a fine solution for the helment haters. They pay the ER bills. Something tells me they wants the freedums without the responsibility.

gE said...

WOO YEAH, SNAP! Wait, American cyclists with health insurance. Lost me there. Still, WOOOOOO!!!!

babble on said...

Ok, so there's this:
GoPro is going public today. This IPO is expected to rake in half a billion dollars.

FactBot9000 said...

"So the fact that bathroom falls and motor vehicle accidents cause a larger absolute number of head injuries than bike crashes do is not particularly surprising, and says nothing meaningful about the risk."

So why is bicycling singled out as a risk that requires a helmet?

Constitution OTUS said...

Buddy:

Right to bear arms = good

Right to bare head = bad

End of discussion.

Anonymous said...

The only real advantage of dic breaks is when you crash real hard and bend your radial spoke wheels with massively oversized 28mm tires, you can still ride home with a your busted plastic bike because the breaks don't rub and you don't happen to have your team mechanic hanging out of a car window to fix it while you ride.

alpaca lips said...

"So why is bicycling singled out as a risk that requires a helmet?"

I don't know, and it may not be justifiable. It may be because Americans are terrified of all kinds of risks that are, in fact, relatively trivial. Or maybe not. All I was saying was that you have to consider the size of the pool when considering risk.

Me? I wear one. And I use a mirror. And I have a beard.

But no, I don't ride a recumbent. I still have a shred of dignity left.


Marge, I have always carried myself with a certain quiet dignity.
Tonight, you robbed me of it.
I'm going now, and I don't know when you'll see me again.

-- H. Simpson