Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Wednesday.

Indulge me, if you would, in briefly pondering a hypertheoretical situation:

Okay, so there's a group of kids walking along the sidewalk--young ones, with ages in the single digits.  They're with an adult, let's say a teacher, and suddenly a passer-by starts screaming at the teacher like a character out of a Mel Gibson movie:

"KILL THEM!  KILL THEM ALL RIGHT NOW!  KILL THE LITTLE BABIES!!!"

Would you say that at this point it would be reasonable for an officer of the law to fire a tranquilizer dart into the passer-by's ass and drag him to a mental institution?  Because I would.  Yet strangely pretty much this same thing happens every day and nobody seems to give a shit.

Indulge me, if you would, in briefly pondering the following actual situation I witnessed yesterday.

It was a lovely, springy day and I was approaching an intersection with a four-way stop near a school.  In the crosswalk ahead of me were a bunch of little kids, crossing the streets with some adults.  A driver was inside the intersection, waiting them to finish crossing so he could complete his turn.  Behind him, a second driver was waiting also, except "waiting" is not the right work, because he's LEANING ON HIS GODDAMN FUCKING HORN THE ENTIRE TIME!!!

This is a perfectly normal sight in New York City, but as I was watching it yesterday all I could think was "This guy is a fucking psychotic!"  The most charitable explanation for his behavior is that he wants the little kids to hurry the fuck up, which is only moderately psychotic, and the most disturbing (and likely) one is that he simply wants the driver in front of him to plow through the kids on the crosswalk, which is fully psychotic.  Either way, people like this need to have fucking darts fired into them, then they need to be placed in padded rooms for psychological evaluation, and the results of that evaluation notwithstanding they need to have their fucking licenses revoked for all of eternity.

Really, the only difference between my hypoallergenic scenario and the real scenario is that the nutjob is in a car, and of course when you're in a car you're allowed to be as crazy if you want.  This is America, and the rule is that if you buy (or lease) something you get to be as batshit insane as you want while you're inside of it.  It's sort of a commercial force field.  The passer-by is recognized for the lunatic that he is, but the driver just has a little innocent "road rage," and when it finally gets the better of him and somebody dies all he has to do is say he mistook the pedal for the brake and he'll live to drive another day.

Anyway, my ride yesterday took me through pretty much the entire length of Manhattan, and all I could think the whole time was, "You have to be a fucking idiot not to realize that drivers are deranged."  Do pedestrians wander into traffic while staring at their smartphones?  Sure.  Do cyclists on brakeless fixies salmon through red lights at busy intersections?  Of course, brakes and stopping are for "woosies."  But only a driver will watch a light turn red in the busiest city in America and then stomp on the gas and launch a three-ton vehicle through it as hundreds of people have already begun to cross the street.

All I'm saying is, give me a bike, a tranquilizer gun, and a straight jacket and I'll have the streets safe in no time.  "Vision Zero" sounds cute and all, but people are dying for fuck's sake, so how about a new motto?



Then on the way home that night I was overcome by motorcycle salmon on whiny crotch rockets who decided they didn't want to ride around the block in order to visit the gas station.  I almost said something, too, but fortunately I remembered that they were probably off-duty police officers who would be all too happy for an excuse to beat me with their helments and instead adopted a dignified countenance as I slowly wet my pants.

Meanwhile, in Columbus (that's in Ohio, right?), a local news channel right out of the movie "Anchorman" reports bicycle infrastructure is BLEEDING THE CITY AND THE TAXPAYERS DRY!!!


Or, as far as I can tell, the city put in some bike racks, then a bunch of NIMBYs stopped the bike lane that was supposed to go with them, so now nobody's using them:


Evidently, at a cost of over $500, or one pair of Assos bib shorts, these three racks are now bringing Columbus to its knees.

Wow.  Journalistically speaking, this news report is basically the equivalent of honking at the driver in front of you to drive through a bunch of babies.

Then again, I know nothing of the bicycle infrastructure in Columbus, so maybe the whole thing is a poorly-conceived shit show, what do I know?  If you have any insight, please share it in the comments, but make sure to pepper those insights with the word "scranus."

The big revelation to me though was that in Columbus people apparently lock their bikes to garbage cans:


"I'll lock 'em up to a garbage can, or a tree, or a fence..."

That doesn't sound like a great idea, and if Hal "Jorts" Ruzal of Bicycle Habitat were to come across something like that in his latest bike-locking video he would have totally plotzed:


Hal Grades Your Bike Locking 2014 (Part IV) from STREETFILMS on Vimeo.

Basically, if you don't want Hal to strangle you with his dreadlocks, you need lock your frame, your wheels, and your saddle:


I like to think my own locking technique would pass muster with this revered mechanic who bears an uncanny resemblance to Tom Hanks about 75 minutes into "Castaway," and my own saddle-securing trick is a piece of old bicycle chain wrapped in inner tube:


Though you should also keep a novelty turd in your bag at all times:


That way, if you don't have a chain (or you want to enhance your existing security security) you can simply place the novelty turd on top of your saddle as a theft-deterrent.

For maximum effect, I also like to plant a little toothpick flag in it warning would-be saddle thieves that I carry a fecal-borne disease:


Though this has been known to backfire, like that time when I returned to find my saddle gone and my flag modified:


I'll never eat in that Dunkin' Donuts again, I can assure you.

Plus, I've got to watch my figure just in case I decide to come back from retirement, which is why I've also been studying up on racing technique.  In fact, I was just reading Chris Horner's instructions on how to shed a wheelsucker:


If attacking or yelling doesn’t work, try this: As you drop to the rear of the paceline, Mr. Deadwood will likely open up a little gap in front of him and allow you the privilege of slipping in front of him, thus preventing him from ever rotating to the front (Figure 6.2). When you get in front of him, slow down. A lot. Allow a huge gap to open in front of you. Let it grow as large as you can. Wait for Mr. Deadwood to jump around you to close the gap. If he wants to stay with the breakaway, he’ll eventually decide to go around you. When he goes past you, jump on his wheel and let him tow you back up to the group. This is a complex tactic that requires a unified effort by everyone in the breakaway to help out. If you’re the only one who’s concerned about the freeloader,
this tactic will not work.

All riders in the breakaway must do the same thing to Mr. Deadwood every time they rotate to the back. That is, take him off the back and make him chase to regain contact. This requires him to work very hard to stay in the break, or die trying. Not literally, of course. We don’t want anyone to die in pursuit of a pair of socks and a TGI Fridays gift card.

Of course, to fully enjoy Chris Horner's book you really need to be up on pro racing lingo.  For example, "Mr. Deadwood" is peloton slang for "guy who's been cooperating with USADA."

For the rest of us, the best way to shed a wheelsucker remains a well-timed burst of flatulence.

107 comments:

Anonymous said...

Texas Scranus

Bryan Bracy said...

Podium scranii

ken e. said...

podium!

streepo said...

scran...

oh forget it.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

Anonymous said...

Scranten?

ringcycles said...

wow its been a while since I saw this end of the bunch

The Robot Engineer said...

That's spelled "Tranq these Fuckers!"

Anonymous said...

Je suis dans le premier dix

Anonymous said...

Scranten?

Anonymous said...

Scranten?

Anonymous said...

Scranten?

Anonymous said...

Scranten?

bland and insidious said...

straggling in at the 5 min mark.

early season sucks

Nebraska bike commuter said...

For maximum wheel sucker repulsion, be sure to eat plenty of raw broccoli.

Mr Deadwood said...

I would have been on the podium, but the guy in front of me kept slowing down

Little blue pill said...

I can fix your deadwood problem

Marcel Da Chump said...

Scranus tranq dart

semi serious cyclist said...

more queestions asked than answered... how does one break the wheelsucker in the cat 6 commute race? advice from the peloton doesn't capture the humiliation of a fredly morning wheelsucker both propelling and inspiring hatred while you try to get to work. almost as bad as a horn wielding bliviot, a wheelsucker on the commute ruins the morning.

le Correcteur said...

top twenty read and late posting

Al said...

i thought you lived in NYC. that crazy passer-by thing is a daily happening on state street in Chi-town

Anonymous said...

Better hope the peloton doesn't dump you too when the deadwood bonks.

Co-opertation is highly overrated.

Jam Master Cray said...

Cost of doing business in the city you (used to) live in. Don't like it? Move to Portland! You know you wanna....

DB said...

Good one, Wildcat.

Mikeweb: can't make the opening tonight, will be there in July. Good luck to you and E.

Anonymous said...

that is some hard hitting investigative journalism. I smell Pulitzer.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'm about an hour north of Columbus by the car that I own. So I wouldn't know C-bus bike infrastructure from a hole in my scranus. I have to go with "ill conceived shit show" on that.

But like the duder said just move them to where they can be used. Duh.

Scranus

DEAD WOOD

trama said...

I got a good spittle-infused "fuck you" from a guy in a Subaru (Love, it's apparently not what makes a Subaru such) the other day. On a country road, the long hilly way between two towns. He slowed down and gave me this sentiment through his open passenger window, upon which seat cowered a hapless preteen. I enjoyed the ironic "CO-EXIST" sticker, you know, the one made up of different religious symbols. There was also a Peace symbol, and a rainbow flag back there. Anyways, this story is just my long-winded way to agree with you WCRM, that once in the confines of a car, normal people get downright weird.

Anonymous said...

Because I'm so slow I don't often get wheelsuckers but one time an annoying remora was latched on so I just blew a snot rocket. He cursed and fell back and I said, oh, sorry, didn't know you were there.

Anonymous said...

The incessant honking to turn even though the cross walk is blocked by pedestrians always perplexes me. It is always the car behind the first car, whose only choice would be to plow through the pedestrians. It is usually a cabbie honking who is often in the first car position and gets honked at, so that makes it even more ridiculous. One of the many things about NYC drivers that drives me nuts.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...tasers don't work on fucktoids inside a steel cage with their faces on their horns.

...a middle finger salute works better.

...so they get 'served ceyword'.... captcha is right.

McFly said...

Woulda been a contenda but some asshole Cat 2's kept YoYo-ing me off the back of the break.

I had to forage violently into my Fanny Pack of Draft Management to stay on fo a top fiddy.

James said...

Indignity of bike commuting...On a road 7 lanes wide (3East 3West and a turning lane)so early in the morning that there is nobody on the road but me and the asshole choosing to drive behind me in the rightmost lane. He lays on his horn for 3 blocks before finally passing and telling me to get out of the way.

Logbig said...

Freakonomics Radio's latest podcast is about the perfect crime... killing someone with your car

http://freakonomics.com/category/freakonomics-radio/featured-radio-post/

Mr Plow said...

If you outlaw road rage. Only outlaws will have road rage.

Anonymous said...

that guy in the lock video looks like he plays the skin-flute.

3G said...

BAER WHLS
NANCY 'S
TOMM Y'S

So much good food in Columbus. Jesus.

rudimentary peni said...

Mr. Deadwood got his nickname from laying on his aerobars incessantly and destroying his scranus, a la Tony Martin.

Also, all I know about Cleveland I learned from Drew Carey. ...Scranus scranus scranus.

Anonymous said...

little booger factories should stay on their own side of the street

wishiwasmerckx said...

Rudimentary, please no more pictures of Tony Martin menstruating.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Midwesterners are nothing if not thrifty. That's a single dinner for two at a nice restaurant in Manhattan, yet it's real news in Columbus.

For those of you strange to the ways and customs of Columbus, what the airing of this story means is that there were no developments involving the Ohio State University football team that day, which of course would have pushed this story off the airwaves.

Anonymous said...

I spit, ... often. The Third Eye mirror clipped to the glasses is geeky, dorky, and nerdy to be true, but I know what the fluff people are doing behind me.

Next step is re-bar nun-chuks or at least a single rebar in the CampAGnolo clip pump holder. Better yet, a hollowed out Silca pump, painted to match the frame, with rebar inside, the excess room taken up with some sand. What the engineers would call "an elegant solution".
-Disclaimer: no one should do this.

Of course, if this were "real aMURica" I could keep a 50 caliber Desert Eagle semi auto in a cross draw holster. Defintely nickel plated. Peace through strength.

vsk

Mr Plow said...

Up next in breaking Columbus news: turtle struck by motor vehicle - details at 11.

Anonymous said...

This could be useful...google "NPR Foldable Helmet"

Anonymous said...

This could be useful...google "NPR Foldable Helmet"

Flyover BC said...

Insight into Columbus, O_H_I_O


Investigative reporter: clueless scranus

Transportation planner: bureaucrat scranus

Bicycle advocate: green scranus

Concerned neighbor: NIMBY scranus

City planner: new urbanist scranus

Politician: Scranus supreme

Columbus: Ohio's center of scranal gravity


RoadQueen said...

Scranus

I walked around downtown Columbus last year, and there are bikes lanes, but they're "bike lanes".

Scranus

As in, a far right-hand traffic lane, that has a bicycle painted on the pavement every 30 yards or so.

Scranus

So, they're not *dedicated* bike lanes, they've just got bikes on them so that motorists can see that bicycles are supposed to ride there. I doubt that keeps the drivers from screaming at the brave cyclists to 'get on the sidewalk where they belong'.

Scranus.

ge said...

Is it true that AG2R wear brown shorts to discourage drafting? Two man breakaway and the other guy's always taking the pull.

whitfit said...

"One of the many things about NYC drivers that drives me nuts."

Not just NYC drivers. Here in Toronto too. Some a**hole leaning on his horn to try to convince someone else they really should be turning into pedestrians.

I have a solution. Every honk costs: first one, $1, second, $2, and keep doubling. I think there is some math thing that makes it kajillions of dollars after a few honks.

JLRB said...

Road Queen -

Those aren't bicycle paintings - those are actual bicyclists that were run over and flattened into the pavement.

Anonymous said...

I was told that Ohio gives a tax credit to any drive that runs over a motorist.

From I keep reading there's no reason to doubt the veracity of that statement. Sounds like NYC might do the same.

CommieCanuck said...


Not just NYC drivers. Here in Toronto too. Some a**hole leaning on his horn to try to convince someone else they really should be turning into pedestrians.


Toronto drivers are under a lot of stress, the poor guy probably overbid $1.2M for a shithole in the Annex that sold in 2000 for $140K and he's nervous about Robs Fords in rehab, because taxes might go up and he can't afford his Annex shithole any more, so RUN THOSE FUCKING KIDS OVER, I NEED ANOTHER FRAPPAMOCHACHINOLATTE...

babble on said...

JLRB :D ++ LOL!! Right?!

crosspalms said...

In Chicago, a long honk is usually the No. 2 or 3 car. A burst of short honks is a bus bearing down on a crosswalk full of jaywalkers. Today I saw a guy on a Divvy bike (local equivalent of Citibike) who couldn't get through a crosswalk even though he had the light! And we cyclists are the dangerous ones.

Euro Spondee said...

Anon @1:09 said - that is some hard hitting investigative journalism. I smell Pulitzer.

Indeed - it started with the emphatic full stop (that’s a period to you guys) after the Wednesday in the title. I knew gravitas would ensue.

Roille Figners said...

Am I naive here in thinking that if you do that trick, and your buddy "Mr. Deadwood" has to battle his way back up to the group, then so, the fuck, do you? Like if someone who sucks, has to go around you, that is because you have descended to and surpassed his level of suckitude, and are now officially not worth following?

Roille Figners said...

Way to cut off your dick to spite neighbor-lady's face!

What?

I don't know.

Roille Figners said...

Also: strait

Roille Figners said...

And finally: Scranus

Fred of the Sea said...

Having been Mr. Deadwood, I don't know as I'd trust him to jump the gap. Especially if he knows you're green timber.

JLRB said...

Rollie -

You get to suck the wheel of the deadwood and hope he doesn't suck too badly to get you back to the pack - but then he will slow down to get you off his wheel, and you both end up going backwords into the gravital force of Rob Fords asshole, somewhere in an Ukranian rehab center run by Russian speaking Russian sympathizers pedaling cahhhhfee bikes

CommieCanuck said...

True story, if you throw a can of beer at Robs Fords, it will circle him in a permanent low orbit. Unitl he quaffs it while in "rehab".

whitfit said...

CommieCanuck said:

"Toronto drivers are under a lot of stress, the poor guy probably overbid $1.2M for a shithole in the Annex that sold in 2000 for $140K and he's nervous about Robs Fords in rehab, because taxes might go up and he can't afford his Annex shithole any more, so RUN THOSE FUCKING KIDS OVER, I NEED ANOTHER FRAPPAMOCHACHINOLATTE..."

Ha. Except people like me that bought houses in Annex for 1.2 million actually bought a house there to be able to walk/bike to work, and our councilors/voting are decidedly not for the anti-tax Robs Fords crack smoking types.

You can't pin all problems on us urban elites.

Comment deleted said...

Hey Mr. Plow, nice doghouse! Just got one of them there gigantic things myself (a lefty, if you can believe it).

Roille Figners said...

I firmly adhere to the belief that Leo Fender did us all a huge favor, but I suppose I'm a bit jealous too!

wishiwasmerckx said...

What's round on the ends and high in the middle, round on the ends and high in the middle? Ohio, that's the riddle. O-HI-O!!!

Freddy Murcks said...

I was standing in the lineup for a mountain bicycling bicycle race yesterday (Tuesday Night Worlds, woo hoo!!!) and I let loose with a not so well timed burst of flatulence. Damn. Talk about an outdoorsman. It's a wonder I didn't kill anyone - although it probably would have improved my placing if I had.




70.1 tfsysic

Comment deleted said...

Roille, I totally agree, but there is something to be said for a gigantic acoustic resonating fat tub of low down.

Roille Figners said...

THUD THUD

Anonymous said...

Had a wheelsuck brother in law years back. Never pulled. Me being a Clydesdale, all he did was suck my ample dreft, no matter how much raw broccoli I ate. I discovered, if I sat bolt upright he got such a good draft, almost like a vacuum. I get into the low 20's, drop down and the resulting gale knocked Mr. Deadwood back a quarter mile. Thenk God for mother girth.

Anonymous said...

euro spondee, I meant the Columbus ohio news piece about the useless bike racks. Not this blog, although if there was a Pulitzer price catagory for bicycle blogs this one would win hands down.

Anonymous said...

It's unfortunate that Brooks didn't also research the cost to construct a parking space, and ask the City of Columbus to provide a list of every single parking space.

Oops, almost forgot the scranus.

ge said...

Snob, you know you've reached a new low when engineers are correcting your spelling (Robot Engineer 12:27). To clarify, Trank is the American spelling and Tranq is the British/Canadian spelling. Sheesh, everybody knows that, and I totally did not just make that up.

not Kaluden - damned robot

Hynde Sight said...

I went back to Ohio but my city was gone...
My city had been pulled down
Reduced to parking spaces
Scranus

Anonymous said...

Greetings Snobby,

I know you're angry today, the terse headline and impatient tone of your briefing is clear evidence of that, and you probably don't want to address more mundane matters, but I do have cycling related queries that you might find a moment to attend to between Fucker Tranking missions.

Ahem.

1) In today's photo of Son of Scat: where is that? At first I thought it was in an elevator, but then I looked more closely and decided it might be a train. Which brings me to;

2) Is it a train? (I just realised the answer to the first question would negate the need for the second question, but it's too late now, I've already asked the second question. Sorry.)

3) Isn't taking proper bikes on NY trains forbidden?

4) Are you therefore going though rebellious phase?

5) Are you aware that your carrying-a-bike-on-a-train-craft is lousy?

6) Wouldn't it be better strapped to a handrail where it wouldn't take up two seats?

7) What's with the silvery panniers, are you going all astronauty?

8) Here's an inspirational photo of bikes on a train:

http://www.beddysblog.com/images/Sydney-to-Gong-road-ride-2010_96B1/IMG_0778.jpg

Anonymous said...

Is it just me, or does Hal look like Jensie with dreds?

McFly said...

What's on the back of S.O.S. yo? Is that one ofthose emergency blankets you can burrito yourself in to prevent hypothermia? That would make a hella Dutch Oven.

FART TACO

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:47pm,

On the contrary, I'm rather chipper! To answer your queries:

1) In today's photo of Son of Scat: where is that? At first I thought it was in an elevator, but then I looked more closely and decided it might be a train.

It is indeed a train.

Which brings me to;

2) Is it a train? (I just realised the answer to the first question would negate the need for the second question, but it's too late now, I've already asked the second question. Sorry.)


Don't let it happen again.

3) Isn't taking proper bikes on NY trains forbidden?

Actually, you can take a bike on the NYC subway whenever you want, though etiquette dictates you don't do it during rush hour, etc.

In this case though, my bike not on a subway. It is on a commuter train, which requires a permit and allows bikes between the hours of 1:00am and 1:05am on alternate Thursdays.

4) Are you therefore going though rebellious phase?

No, I'm docile to the point of being neutered.

5) Are you aware that your carrying-a-bike-on-a-train-craft is lousy?

I'm not even aware that's a thing.

6) Wouldn't it be better strapped to a handrail where it wouldn't take up two seats?

Our commuter trains don't provide much space in which it's convenient to park a bike, if you saw how they are configured you'd understand. If I strapped it to the handrail by the door then people wouldn't be able to get it on and off the train--although if I find myself on a train with my bike it's because it's really late so there aren't many people on the train. Also, I'm generally only traveling a couple of stops so it's not really an issue.

In this case, I'm basically taking up the wheelchair/handicapped area, which is basically what society considers us anyway. Rest assured if an actual wheelchair-bound person boarded the train I would vacate the space immediately.

7) What's with the silvery panniers, are you going all astronauty?

Yeah. I'm "going all astronauty," sure.

8) Here's an inspirational photo of bikes on a train:

That picture pisses me off, and I don't know why.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Grump said...

The best way to shed a wheelsucker is to play "I be Jammin' (on my brakes), or in Fredspeak, (on my breaks)
This "trick" is as old as the hills. I'm sure that Fausto used it while on his wooden bike.

GetoutofmywayorIfuckingkillyou said...

"This is a perfectly normal sight in any city with arseholes in cars". FTFY.

(Which really means any city - apart from Venice).

Anonymous said...

"That picture pisses me off..." because full suss bikes with slick tires

Anonymous said...

I got an enormous collins diktionairy. trank or tranq ain't in there. i don't think this word is a word

Joshua M King said...

I just visited Columbus last week and rode all over town on their bike share system: http://singlespeedseattle.com/cycling-columbus/

But bike lanes? Saw a few, but it's definitely a city where it's safest to ride on the sidewalks.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford thinks his dog Bromont should have been embarresed when he walked by a fox without noticing it. Steve was embarresed by his dogs' non-embarresement.

Anonymous said...

It's likely more than just the slick tires on suspension bikes.

First of all its a selfie, and I bet the guy taking the selfie rides the Special Ed proudly on display. The girl with the overloaded Saloman pack isn't even wearing cycling shorts and there are road racing bikes mixed with mtn bikes.

But the real reason is perhaps the picture on the wall. I'm willing to bet snobby hates fireworks.

All Aboard the Fred Train said...

The girl with the overloaded backpackie has a nice round caboose

Anonymous said...

Don't you mean psychopathic rather than psychotic?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 7:49am,

I don't know what I mean, I'm not a brain doctor.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ce said...

I once rode the Sydney to Gong on a full suspension Specialized®. It's quite possible that I was sporting slicks at the time. I was heaps cooler than all those other boring dorks on the ride though, as I bunny hopped up and down gutters all along the route. I guess I was just too epic, on my Epic®. Caught the F train (Fred train) back up to Sydney.

Anonymous said...

How do you do the lil "circle R"? HHOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW

"Sranus said...

what?"

Reply: What?

Snap: Scranus

Anonymous said...

that is what makes NY NY

confined ill tempered impatient horn honkers

get outta dere

move to Punnxatawny

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Wildcat Brain Doctor Machine

ce said...

Anon 9:10, type whatever it is you have to type about scranus and the registered trademarks relating to scranus into a Word document. Go to the "Insert" tab at the top of the page, click on "Symbol", then "More Symbols". Scroll down until you find The Mark of Sinyard and insert, slowly. Copy and paste your hilarious comment into the BSNYC comment section in order to help out poor old Snobbo with his blog, and for the betterment of the internet and humanity as a whole. The end.

Fred of the Sea said...

I actually happen to be a brain doctor and I don't know what I mean, either. I mean, goes to show you.

JB said...

Anon @ 7:02am: It's not a selfie, at least the guy is not holding the camera. I can see his right elbow and left wrist.

Bamaphred said...

Scranus®

Scranus©

You're welcome.

BamaPhred said...

It's on the Emoji keyboard on the iPhone or iPad. I had to invoke the double-post app cause Iforgot the first time.

babble on said...

Isn't there a big difference between a brain doctor and a shrink?

Crazy is all shades of grey...

crosspalms said...

I thought this was one place that was safe from Tory spelling.

Anonymous said...

Scranlumbus Podi

David Pearce said...

Dear Snob,

Listen, I know you write the blog WHILE RIDING YOUR FRANKENBIKE, and therefore can't be held to complete clerical accuracy, BUT you gotta help us out here and keep the errors down to no more than ONE in each paragraph.

To wit, paragraph SIX of today's blog, you need to add the word "FOR" between "waiting" and "them"; and second, you need to correct the word "work" to "word".

Just in the desire to be understood mind you.... :-)

David Pearce said...

Dear Snob,

It is really so fucked up about the "Waste Watch" segment, because, the "investigative little-snotnose" pretty much says it all, that racks aren't used all that much when you CAN'T GET TO THEM!

And the serious issue at hand is, the racks are at a CAR IMPOUND LOT!:

"Oh, shit, where's my car?

"Crap, it's been towed to the impound lot!

"Damn it! How can I get it, I have no car?!

"I know, I'll BIKE there, and bring the bike back in the car!

".....Oh, but shit! They don't allow biking on the road to the impound lot. Ok, I'll walk. Whoops, can't do that either! Guess I'll have to call one of my lame-ass friends and beg a ride! Tch!"

David Pearce said...

Hmm, Snob,

You can spell a $5 word like"hypertheoretical " perfectly, and yet make mincemeat out of the 5₵ word "word" and write "work".

Fie, Sir!

Again, Sir, I say fie!

fast delivery scranus said...

no bar-and-plugs? you shuld dye like those irrasponsible baybies!

Anonymous said...

Those kids are just gonna grow up to be asshole drivers anyway so run em over. Also, the entire state of ohio and its populace is a poorly executed shit show.

Alex Knight said...

Friends of mine were out last week and a guy in a high-end Mercedes was blasting his horn at a car waiting for peds in the crosswalk. They shouted to him, "Hey buddy, there are people crossing, chill." His response was something like, "You say something else and I'll fucking kill you." Really glad we give licenses to people like this to operate dangerous heavy machinery.

Harvey Coxswain said...

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/05/15/312455673/dont-salmon-dont-shoal-learning-the-lingo-of-safe-cycling