Friday, March 7, 2014

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Purim 2014 is right around the corner, and you know what that means, right?



(Walz "Urban Wool" cap with BSNYC logo hand-embroidered by artisanal seamstresses.)

Just think of how dashing you'll look when you roll into the cool part of town in this hat, lock up your bike with too many locks, and duck into the local café for a $10 latte and some hamantaschen.


("Mmmm!  Did somebody say 'prune filling?'"  Hamantaschen poised to become the new "cronut.")

Apart from being the World's Most Lamest Pastry, the hamantaschen is also modeled after Haman's three-cornered hat, and by next Purim I hope to offer a BSNYC tricorne:



Speaking of urban "collabo" hats, yesterday I totally "flipped the script" and did something game-changing that will totally shift the paradigm of cycling forever:

I rode a fixie.

"A fixie?," you're no doubt asking.  "What's that?"

Well, a fixie is a bike where there's only one gear and but you can't coast because when you stop pedaling the pedals keep turning anyway, so if you stop pedaling you die--unless you're wearing a helment, in which case nothing bad can happen to you.  It sounds crazy, but all bikes used to be like that, and even in the Tour de France they rode fixies until the 1970s when in-decks shifting was invented.  Also, in the olden days, fixie racing was really popular, even more than football, and in the 1860s they even used to have this thing called "sick day racing" in the Barclays Center!  Fixie bikes then made a comeback in the early 21st century, when a sort of mania took over and people's eyes would dilate as they looked at any bike, no matter how ill-suited, and contemplated how best to make it into a fixie.  Then, after awhile, they realized that fixie conversions were stupid and started riding regular bicycles with gears and coasting and stuff (or else turned their conversions back into regular bikes if they hadn't sawed off all the hangers and stuff) and the fixie was once again forgotten--until yesterday, when I singlehandedly rediscovered it.

It's been a hard winter.  The trails are still snowed and iced in, so for those of us without fat bikes the only option is slogging away on the open road in 19 degrees American.  So, desperate for any sort of variety, I entered my bike harem, selected my Ironic Orange Julius Bike, flipped the wheel around to the fixie side, and off I went.

Words cannot adequately express the sensation of riding a fixie.  Sure, people have tried, but they've failed.  See, it's a zen thing.  You're like totally connected to the bike.  You're thinking five moves ahead instead of three moves ahead, and other clichés.  I only wish my Fly6 had been working so I could share the ride with you, but in the meantime this will have to suffice:


State Bicycle Co. - Galaxy Series from State Bicycle Co. on Vimeo.

By the way, that video comes via State Bicycle Co., who are sponsors of this blog and would like you to know the following:

We just released a “Galaxy” series that features iridescent cranks and hubs.  These are available in our “standard” models for $519 (included Galaxy Holdfast Straps) and a 6061 “Black Label” Model for $659.

The only thing better than Zen is Iridescent Zen, and the only thing that looks better than riding an Iridescent fixie is doing so while wearing a BSNYC hat and eating a hamantaschen.

Also, regarding the Fly6, I emailed them and it turns out the reason the camera wasn't working was that the microSD card had popped out.  I popped it back in, and now it seems to be works again, though I have not tested it.

ANYWAY, yeah, so there I am riding a fixie for the first time in quite awhile, and I was immediately transported to circa 2005--in fact, I was so deeply moved that I had to photograph the fixie in front of a gritty urban backdrop à la the Fixed Gear Gallery:


Dear Fixed Gear Gallery,

This is my Ironic Orange Julius Bike.  It's 100% NJS.  Skid patches, gear inches, skidding.  I vibe hella and it's my classic peep during Art History.  Plan to lose the breaks when I get more confident because breaks are for woosies.  Three-cross laced to flip-flop rotofix 15mm wrenches that also open beer bottles hooray bike culture Chrome bags spoke cards Swobo shants.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS: Sheldon Brown Reference



Oh, and how could I forget the chainline shot?


(Clean drivetrains are for "woosies.")

I never really understood the point of the chainline shot.  Presumably it was to show off how straight your chainline is, but if you point the camera along the chain then it's going to look straight no matter what.  Or was it just to revel in the fixie-ness of the fixie, so that people looking at it would pop fixie boners?  Alas, the whole fixie trend is dead, so we may never know.

Also, remember fixie blogs?


And what fixie bike shoot would be complete without an "artsy" shot?  Here's the bike preparing to hurl itself into the icy river because it's so freaking ugly:


Lastly, all fixies should have at least one (1) ironic element, and mine has two, those being ultra-high-performance crabon headtube spacers on an otherwise haphazardly cobbled-together bicycle, as well as a completely pointless cable rub protector since the frame is already ruined:


(Weight savings of crabon spacers makes up for added weight of pointless rubber thing.)

Consider it my mini-homage to the top-tube pad.  Remember top-tube pads?  Those were hysterical:


Really, the whole thing was hysterical.  Probably the most hysterical thing about it was that it was all bound up in trying to make the bikes look fast, until everybody realized they could go much faster on bikes that could shift and coast.  If anything, it occurred to me on my ride yesterday that the fixie is really the ideal old person's bike, since you kind of twiddle along, and when you get back on the bike after emptying your bladder for the nineteenth time (you know, because you're old) you don't just jump onto the saddle and crank away.  Instead, you slowly get the thing up to speed, like winding up an old phonograph.

Also, it's supposed to be bad for your knees after awhile, but I don't buy that, because my knees were fine--though my shark saddle was hurting my ass like a motherfucker:


If only they had launched this back in 2007 the fixie scene would have been all over it.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a SHORT quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then big deal, and if you're wrong you'll see how to put on a shitload of clothes.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and jump the shark but don't jump on the Shark, if you know what I mean.


--Wildcat Rock Machine







1) The Pee-Wee Herman bike on eBay ultimately sold for:

--$25,500
--$36,600
--$360,000
--"It's not for sale, Fran-cis."





2) What is this?

--The "Le-N-Lo"
--The "Lay-N-Low"
--The "Whack-A-Fred"
--The "Top-Tube Boner"





3) The inventor of this bike share power assist kit has been arrested for reckless endangerment.

--True
--False



4) The new $1,599 American Classic magnesium wheelset features a 200lb weight limit, a surface coating that requires the use of special brake pads, and complete tubeless incompatibility because the sealant will eat the metal.

--True
--False




(Playing an invisible harmonica.)


5) What is he doing?

--Eating an invisible corn-on-the-cob
--Rolling an invisible joint
--Using invisible dental floss
--All of the above



***Special "Fuck It, I'm Getting a Bricycle"--Themed Bonus Video***


131 comments:

Matthew MAKAREWICZ said...

It is I!

JB said...

FLIP FLOP

Vernal Magina said...

Balls.

Kenny Banya said...

top ten gold

BamaPhred said...

Congrats to podium finishers

Scranus

Everyone else enjoy the weekend

Marcel Da Chump said...

Top Zen

Charles said...

I'm in

WIZ !! JAY said...

The Bricycle just blew my friggen mind. Torque, zero gravity, centripetal acceleration, inverted pendulums, and NOBODY can steer it.

And the Bjoen guy is going to be sweating his ass off with fogged up goggles in about 5 minutes of normal riding, even if its 0F.

Anonymous said...

Read it. Top X?

Spokey said...

top 10?

3G said...

Le-N-Low is really dumb

babble on said...

Happy Friiiiiiiday! xo

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...hey, she nathing to do with this... i am locust... fuck to you.

Gaffer Smythe said...

Owen Dong...

That's what she said.

Kelly said...

No helments on the Bricycle Riders! Did they all die?

Bryan said...

top 20?? I'll take it. It's Friday, dammit

Spokey said...

I loved that bricycle. I really needed one of those when i kept falling over trying to get started on a gravel uphill on that stupid Ryan 'bent.


The end is nigh. Robot reported earth sityatc. We are all doomed

Anonymous said...

More centripital force or I'ma be killing you!

McFly said...

Fuck it I'm leasing a Kim.

Regular guy said...

I don't think the shark seat would work with the tight skinny jeans then in fashion. You'd just sort of teeter-totter on the fin.

Nice stroll down the old memory lane.

Top tube pads.

McFly said...

I thought "prune filling" was when Grampa dumped a load in his home health nurse....

Anonymous said...

Proud to be in the pack!

cycle

balls™ said...

Some guy in jorts tripping balls on a fixie, flying like from E.T., why? What the fuck was that?

Can I have that 1min 26sec of my life back?

Anonymous said...

Make fun of it all you want. I still maintain that nothing beats a good Hamantaschen for a post-ride recovery snack.

Wilson said...

Time to stop fucking around and drop the "BSNYC Helment"

Anonymous said...

Sure the fixie scene would have been over in 2005 if they had the shark saddle. None of them would be able to reproduce. Problem solved.

cycle

Bryan said...

One of the people in the Bricycle time waste has a last name of Dong. That was the best thing about it. Now, the how to dress in winter video, that was good stuff. I now know not to ride nekkid in the winter.
I didn't understand the Galaxy video. I must not be ironic enough and/or need some sort of drug to understand.
Anyhow, thanks for the bike porn.

Regular guy said...

There must be some way to ride the unrideable bricycle, we can't let it defeat us.
I wonder if Anoop Grewal is any relation to Alexi?

Roille Figners said...

Today was like a hilarity-bomb.

You got to know I'm all over a murdered-out BSNYC tricorn the day it drops!

Fife'n'drum bands might be the one thing I still miss about New England, since "good pizza" has been successfully reproduced and "good bagels" never really were that good. I valued them more for their indestructibility.

Anonymous said...

I would like to a Bike Snob signature "Safety Kippah".

Yarmulke with a cycling hat brim. Blaze orange, that says "SAFETY THIRD"

Flyover BC said...

Fixies never really were much of a fad here in flyover country, expect with transplanted New York Hispters, who stand out like a bearded sore-thumb, who then switched to geared bikes after the first endless hill or relentless headwind.


ynfitt Necessity

Anonymous said...

http://www.yamulkap.com/

Comment deleted said...

That chain line, it's, it's like an ARROW! Ungh!

Roille, grinders.

Blog Drafter said...

Purim? I don't even know'm.

Hilarious Google link & "so, it was gravity all along…that sonofabitch."

Anonymous said...

yeah, kool stop salmon pads are pretty "special".

Lazy Legs said...

I rode a fixie for the first time last week to improve my Fredentials, It tried to kill me a lot. I did like the simplicity, purity and connection with history, once up to speed and rolling along (because I'm prone to bouts of uncontrollable smugness)

I didn't like the knee popping leg dismembering sensation everytime I forgot I was on a fixie and stopped pedaling. That and the faff of trying to mount at the traffic lights like a Tri-Fred in the transition zone, made me come up with an ingeniously over-engineered solution that the world is not looking for.

So I was wondering if you would post my Kickstarter campaign for an electro-mechanical fixie to single speed difflock to engage/disengage the freewheel at the push of a button. My slogan is, "All the fun of a Fixie without the Faceplant" I'm looking to raise 7 Million Dollars etcetera, etcetera, etcetra...

The undead said...

This is what the ET video is about, although I saw nothing resembling this in the video.
http://www.statebicycle.com/product_p/galaxycrank.htm

And clearly Fixed gear is not dead, just 'retired'.
http://www.statebicycle.com/category_s/19.htm


Good Lob, that's a lot of retirees.

JB said...

Actually, I was thinking that the chainline was off a bit. Is the chainring a bit too far in-board?

From the chainline rear shot, the straightness of the chain seems to kink to the right at the top (chainring) and to the left at the bottom (sprocket).

Who knows though. And frankly I don't really care. I'm just happy if I can steer my tricycle.

crosspalms said...

Next time I go to Italy I'll try to discuss your bicycle. I'll let you know how it goes.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous,

Aftermarket brake pads technically fit the admittedly broad definition of "special."

Then again, I ride a fixie, and we don't use brakes.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

ge said...

Tell us more about this "fixie" bike. Does Tinkerbell ride one? Do they make them bigger for average sized people? If so, would they still be fixies? So many questions. So intriqued by this new discovery.

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

I certainly hope not, because from what I read on the Internet any slight deviation from dead straight will result in premature drivetrain wear, which means I might need to replace that drivetrain in 20 years instead of 30.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Blasting to the moon, jumping the shark, & bikes in space

Quickprick McDick said...

I can't read that cursive shit.

Yacht curator said...

A kid from Albuquerque had pretty, blue, trcak bike when I was a "collegiate"' Ca. 1977. He somehow got his finger in the nonexistent gears while riding and up-fucked himself good. No one wore a helment in those days, so we weren't too hard on him. Somehow the ficksie epidemic ran its course without the loss of too many phalanges.

balls™ said...

Wait...
http://www.statebicycle.com/product_p/galaxycrank.htm
Are those leftover Kooka™ cranks?

Anonymous said...

Elliott grew up and is still looking for E.T. On a Slate Galaxy! Duhn, duhn, DUNN!

Bjorn has to wear so many clothes in winter 'cuz the dude is skinny. Me? I fats enuff to ride winter in t-shirt.

Roille Figners said...

Grinders: true, though they do make an attempt out here, but they call them hoagies or some crap.

Oh and I forgot about Reubens.

NOT PAUL REUBENS <-- CLEVER CALL-BACK

Reuben samwiches. Still hard to find real melt-in-your-mouth pastrami.

Anonymous said...

yeah i see the ''interesting'' part of the bricycle vid at 1:!0

it;s the hot M.E. student/model

complete with zero-gravity decolletage
mmm

wle

Anonymous said...

can't get a straight chainline on your pompino cuz--- as the bike name implies--- is not straight...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/46195580@N03/5722849108/in/photostream/

JLRB said...

So the true color of the ironic OJ is revealed - probably was before but the automated google search took me to a place in time when it had not yet happened. That's one fuggly bike. You have to look real hard to see the powertap and electronic shift internal geared hub.

I miss my ss/fixie, mostly for the ss. That's my next +1 after I get around to -3.

JLRB said...

by the way "Whack-a-Fed" and "Top-Tube-Boner" are excellent descriptions of the lay-low

Also looks like some kind of microphone, for recording artists you like to bike while working

Anonymous said...

And the northeast thought they had it bad.

cycle

http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/03/braving-the-deep-deadly-south-on-a-bicycle/284293/

Regular guy said...

I always pictured the OJ bike as being orange for some reason.

I'm disappointed. Sort of like meeting Sylvester Stallone and finding out he's not so tall.

Live from Santa Fe, Flyover Bike Commuter said...

Yacht Curator,

Are still in ABQ? if so, it makes sense that you are a yacht curator rather than a yacht sailor.

If, however,you are closer to the water, would you be a yacht conservator, or preservationist.

Anonymous said...

Perfect score! Missed them all.

I want to ride that bricycle so much!

Reid Fleming said...

I'm waiting another year to fully amortize my 5 year old $300 free-wheeled single speed so I can get a geared commuter. I fell for the whole low maintance argument of the single speed, but my geared bikes don't require much maintenance and gears come in handy going up or down hills.

Anonymous said...

You're such a fusspot, Snobby.

I've seen lushly appointed commuters that are more streamlined, less adorned than your fixie.

At some point incisive irony lapses into cheesy parody -- like steampunk. Your OJ is the steampunk bike of the fixie world; drops? Rear brake? Fenders? Cushy saddle? Saddle bag? Bottle cage?

The zen like aspect of fixies is due to the simplicity of the machine, the notion of having as little as possible between you and nature, communing with the natural world almost as directly as if you were on foot.

Your confection is about as unZen as you can get, my local supermarket sells fixies that are more authentic than yours;

http://i.imgur.com/0Nrowl.jpg

It's telling that you describe your collection of bikes as a "harem" -- like your fixie, harems are chintzy, over-embellished and of questionable morality.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

in the winter, i only wear my cosplay layer.

Yacht curator said...

I have been in ABQ three or four times—nice town, though Santa Fe is nicer; the college rider was elsewhere. One curates Nov-Mar in the Mid Atlantic, then one "sail-freds".

Flyover BC said...

Anonymous at 3:08

your shrink called. Its time for your yearly evaluation to get the prescription for your meds refilled.

shall tlAFPub

looks like the capture is celebrating St Pat's day a little early

Anonymous said...

A'right, just bought my "Bikesnobnyc Urban Wool Cap".

Looks perfect for covering my post-PEDs baldness.

rural 14 said...

rural 1st!
my fixed in snow and ice..+ studded tires = excellent. Walking up all the hills / going the long way, with pedals smacking the backs of legs...not so excellent.
only another 3 months until May!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:08pm,

Cushy saddle? Clearly you have never ridden a Rolls.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Dooth said...

If I were to lean my bike against a tree in a wooded area overlooking a river, my first impulse would be to smoke weed...but that's just me.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Dooth,

I actually urinated.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 3:29pm,

Thank you!

My baldness came naturally.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS: Are you Levi Leipheimer?

McFly said...

The IOJB has been on this blogulation many times in all its gay blueness glory.

Geez I got to get a life. I just put the 45 degree comfort stem on the SOBER BIKE (The Raleigh that got me off drugzzzzz) and it looks so dumb but is so comfortable that I do not care.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I am just a scholar who drank too much.

(Who's Levi Leipheimer??)

- Anonymous 3:29pm

BamaPhred said...

Anon @ 2:32 Read the article and the comments. All true, including my own personal pet peeve, the hwy dept carving rumble strips into the road scranus, which I laughingly used to call my bike lane. Now I have to ride in the traffic, sparse though it may be. But it is going 60-70 mph in a sealed container, stereo system blasting, talking and texting on a "sail-fawn", and generally blissfully unaware that anything or anyone else is on the road. But I still think my chances are better than in any large urban area. Its actually the motorcyclists that get run over here.

dancesonpedals said...

Yacht curator? Was that you in this craigslist posting:

mfw 35

Man with pink submarine seeks women with pink canoe. Object: Yachting

JB said...

I thought that drivetrains were supposed to be replaced yearly, when the manufacturer starts marketing the newer, shinier one.

Anonymous said...

Been reading this blog so long I now read "carbon" as cray-bon everywhere.

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

Yes, and you're supposed to monitor your chain constantly with a "chain-checker," which is basically an overpriced, bike-specific ruler.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Dooth said...

Wildcat, too much information. Restrain yourself.

Roille Figners said...

McFly - At least now you can relish the goofy mainsail-boom-coming-about effect.

JLRB said...

Anon 3:08

What is Zen about focusing on what other people choose to ride?

Your on the wrong path grasshopper, trapped in boundaries of mundane thought

db said...

Remember fixie street teams?

Or was I supposed to forget that this ever happened?

.

Yacht curator said...

dancesonpedals,

I am a black shoe, not a bubblehead.

Jason said...

Hey, I love my overpriced chain-specific ruler that I stole from a friend after telling him that it was a waste of money.

Anonymous said...

lick my pink hamantaschen

DB said...

Sorry I'm late! Had to pee 19 times.
Just got back from the CPA. Gonna do a Kickstarter to help with taxes.

Freddy Murcks said...

I am really psyched that those $1600 American Classic wheels are incompatible with anything so much as resembling utilitarianism. I was was looking for some useless crap to blow my money on and those seem like they'll be just perfect.



seek reywhol

Anonymous said...

Dooth @4:12

Wildcat, too much information. Restrain yourself.


I'm sure he tried, but y'know, he really had to pee!

Flyover BC said...

Yacht Captain

"Santa Fe is nicer" is a myth we perpetrate to keep down the number of immigrants. I guess it is nicer if you have a lot, or two, of money.

and traileco too!

ouabacher said...

My advice to you concerning the Fly6 comes from my 60 year old "IT guy" at work. They're really more questions than advice. Firstly, regarding the application used to download/edit the videos: "Did you try getting out of it, then going back in?". Secondly, "Did you try REBOOTING?". Sorry, that's all he's got.

JB said...

"fixie street teams" LOL

When I was 14, we started a sk8 team: Team Dot.

We had an excuse: we were 14 and hadn't been laid yet. Come to think of it, the fixie street team may qualify for one of those excuses.

babble on said...

I say crabon everywhere, too! People give me THAT LOOK and I just look right back at them and say "What? Don't you read Snob?"

McFly. Sure, he's posted a lot of shots of the bike before, but never any of those bikeporn-y shots with the lovely leading lines and thoughtful composition and stuff.

Did you take a photography course or something, snobbers?

Lazy Legs - ++ :D

JB said...

But it's "crab-on," not "cray-bon." Right?

Roille Figners said...

Hey any bike wheel that you can shave bits off and use it for fire-starting or signaling is OK by me.

Me too!!! said...

I converted my 3-speed coasta break beer getter back to fixed last week simply cause I was bored and I wanted to once again see that laser-like chainline. It's the only rig I'll take out in these godforsaken upstate NY conditions. It also satisfies my off season training regimen whereby riding as slow as possible is called for. Oh yeah, I'm connected.

McFly said...

C'mon Babs I have to work tomorrow. Do a blog with the lovely leggy lines and the thoughtful positions and stuff.

And hips that cause the drips.

Anonymous said...

JB said...
But it's "crab-on," not "cray-bon." Right?

March 7, 2014 at 6:02 PM


Neither. It's "cra-boh". Like, all Gallic.

jodphoto said...

Careful snobby. Mezzo sarcasm will leave all the crotch yacht wankers wondering if there is a god.

ouabacher said...

JB, I was a founding member of the Thumbs Up Trick. Total membership consisting of the two founding members, purveyors of sk8 & freestyle mayhem.......MAYHEM, I tell you.

Anon 3:08 said...

" JLRB said...
Anon 3:08

What is Zen about focusing on what other people choose to ride?

Your on the wrong path grasshopper, trapped in boundaries of mundane thought

March 7, 2014 at 4:19 PM"

I guess there's nothing Zen about it, but I don't aspire to be a Zenist. It was Snobby who raised the spectre of Zen.

Furthermore, being "trapped in boundaries of mundane thought" is not a bad place to be and you typed "your" instead of "you're" which probably isn't very Zen either.

Robot however is issuing Zen chants; "and himmmun"

McFly said...

Ridin' Fixies? You're doing it wrong.

McFly said...

OK that's better......

McFly said...

But not really.......nailed it.

McFly said...

hyperlink misreable fail

Anonymous said...

Hundy

Anonymous said...

doh, you bastard

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

Cheers, McFly. Nothing like a little inspiration...

Robot captcha is not sharing its inspiration. It says

ngivea wenches

Anonymous said...

No time to tape the bars? Steve Tilford DGAF and rides anyway.

McFly said...

Butt-Squeezer Peter "Her Ass Ain't" Saggin has 42 sec on the field with a few K's to go at Straddle Bianchi.

Them podium gurlz better fluff them booties and be ready for a pat down.

JLRB said...

Anon @ 5:30 AM

First go back to sleep

Second go back and read you're post

BamaPhred said...

I always smirk when I see the Le-N-Lo. That's 1132 grams of poorly purposed aluminum. And what's to stop the crabon seat post attachment from snapping when you lean in to the Le-N-Lo You know, the old lever force multiplying effect. So you lean in, seat post snaps, you face plant on bars, or worse. Sure, give me two.

Anon @ 5:30 AM said...

JLRB @ 11:33

I'll reread my post when you, firstly, stop being a cultural imperialist bigot who imagines everyone lives in your time zone and stop focussing on others' sleep patterns.

Secondly, improve you grammar -- there's at least two commas and two periods absent from your post.

And thirdly, concede that Buddha is too fat to ride a fixie.

Robot's getting into the spirit of things too: totters secondly.

Anonymous said...

Le N Lo is like a backwards moose tongue Allsop Softride beam.

Old Freds may want to take note and find one on ebay, in hopes of a retrofit on their crabon top tubes.

leroy said...

Rode today. First time in a long time.

Felt good. Felt humbling. Much needed.

Coasting down the little hill in Propspect Park, I was passed by a guy pedaling furiously on a small folding bike.

So, of course, I dropped behind just for a moment, pretending to draft.

My dog cracked up. He was worried I had lost my sense of humor.

Ride joyfullly all! Enjoy every sandwich and the therapeutic benefits of cycling and silliness.

Trend Drafter said...

That is so cool, a bike you can't direct where you want to go! That is like... like... a ride that is at least 10 times more impractical than trying to ride a fixie around town. How sweet is that! I've got to drop me a Bricycle. Hmmm... Doing the hipster classic highlock might be problematic though.

McFly said...

60+ of the Muricaneze today and it was glorious. Everyone was feeling frisky...especially the dogs. I had to open up my Gym Bag of Cowardice on more than one occasion.

Anonymous said...

Melting dog shit make a nasty slurry that once flung from your tires into your face makes you want fenders.

Anonymous said...

I poo, you poo, we all poo. Yay for feces!

McFly said...

I used my hand to get a leaf off my MTB tire st speed once. That leaf was fresh deer shit.

McFly said...

*at

Anonymous said...

Deer make poo. Lots of poo. My dog eats poo. I don't eat poo, unless it shoots off my tire and into my mouth. Poo.

Babbleon=Chubby said...

Babs has a new idea to keep elderly Freds erect that's called 'He-N-Ho.

JLRB said...

Anon @5:30 and/or 2:34 pm

All bow down and follow the eastern time zone - even when it steals an hour

Time to go for a cycle ride

Anonymous said...

Suck my ass wind into your mouth and taste it.

Anonymous said...

I want a shark fin saddle, combined with a kuku penthouse for full support and anal penetration.

Anonymous said...

I bought a hat!

Anonymous said...

" JLRB said...
Anon @5:30 and/or 2:34 pm

All bow down and follow the eastern time zone - even when it steals an hour

Time to go for a cycle ride

March 9, 2014 at 12:54 PM"

Finally, we can agree on something; yes, all bow down and follow AEST.

It's a bit too hot and humid to go for a ride just now though, don't you think?

leroy said...

I like the hat, but my dog wants to know if comes with a free bowl of soup like in the movies.

I'm sure he's just messing with me. He took the credit card again.

BamaPhred said...

Funny picture of Peter Sagan eyeballing Dat Ass. You just know he wants to give it a pinch

BamaPhred said...

The Dog cracks me up, I'm sure he remarked that it looks good on you, though....rolls eyes.

zenpunk32 said...

Snob, your ineptitude with technology continues to astound and amaze. It's a wonder you figured out how to take a photograph after only 7 years or so. (Or have you used your bike-blog riches to hire a photog?) Is there a fund we can contribute towards to find a cure for your disease?

Captian Organ said...

Sometimes my girl wants me to wear the tricorne pirate hat. She pretends she is a stow-away. The scenario always ends the same.

"ARRRRRRGGHH your a wet lass and I'm so glad you ended up on my vessel."

*bandana's make fine wrist restraints

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