Tuesday, March 18, 2014

After the Thaw: Dealing with the Detritus

I got lumens.

So what is a lumen, anyway?

Well, Merriam-Webster defines it thusly:

lu·men noun \ˈlü-mən\
plural lumens also lu·mi·na 

Definition of LUMEN

1 :  the cavity of a tubular organ or part

Eeew.


I'm now more confused than I was when I started this post.

Anyway, in addition to lumens, I also got lights.  Lots of lights.  Enough lights to illuminate a Broadway show, a night cricket match, or the cavity of a tubular organ or part.  Check these out:


The Blinder Arc 1.7?  170 lumens.

The Blinder Arc 5.5?  550 motherfucking morganfreeman lumens!

Compare that to this rock, which has exactly zero lumens:


(No lumens.)

Not only that, but good luck mounting it on your handlebars.

In fact, I got so many lumens I may have to give some away, but one thing at a time.  In fact, I haven't even tested them yet, which I'm looking forward to doing, even though I live in New York City where there are streetlights everywhere, except for certain sections of greenway, which I don't use at night anyway because I'm afraid of getting jumped.

Still, the lights should be good for a laugh, and I can't wait to mount all four lights and see how the average salmoning Citi Biker reacts to 1,440 lumen-strong blast of light to the face.

I bet I burn their faces like Richard Dreyfuss in "Close Encounters" after he sees the spaceship:


("Too many lumens!")

And that's not all.  Coincidentally (and don't tell Knog), Jet Lites has also sent me their "F3," which has 1,000 freaking lumens!


I think somebody's going to be doing some after-dark mountain-style bicycling this season [indicates self with thumbs], though I'm going to have to find someone to come with me, because the only thing that scares me more than getting jumped is nocturnal animals, and I imagine my first ride with the F3 would go something like this:



Seriously though, look at this:


Now tell me that's not horrifying.

Sadly, I think it's going to be many weeks before rugged all-terrain mountain biking is an option, since all this melting snow is going to leave the area trails looser than a nonagenarian's stool.  See, this is the time of year when the trunk-rack-and-full-suspension set descends upon the trails after not having touched a bike since November and proceeds to leave gigantic ruts and gouges everywhere as they make videos of themselves riding over the same small log over and over again.  They wear their mud-splattered full-face helments and Monster Energy Drink jerseys like badges of honor, though to me their ensembles call to mind the protective gear worn by the mentally challenged and the seizure-prone.

I however, am more conscientious, and while I may be too lazy to help maintain the trails I at least try not to make extra work for the suckers who do.

Speaking of melting snow, I hereby withdraw every complaint I've ever made regarding New York City's clearing of greenways, because we've got nothing on our neighbors in Westchester County, where I foolishly attempted to use the South County Trailway last Sunday.  I know from experience they never clear this thing, but I figured that by now all the snow would be gone.  Sadly, I was mistaken, and my first indication that I was making a mistake was this disgusting pile of filthy snow blocking the entrance:


This sordid snowcone was covered in chocolate sprinkles--or, more accurately, dogshit:


You know, cyclists get a lot of crap.  We're smug.  We run red lights.  We go too fast in the park.  We block traffic, our bike lanes take away car parking, we yell "On your left!" while wearing stupid outfits, and blah blah blah.

Whatever.

I want to know where all the hatred is for dog owners, who are a thousand times more smug than cyclists, and whose dogs do something our bikes don't do, which is leave shit everywhere.  (I mean really, even bike messengers are toilet trained.)  Oh, also, dogs bite people.  Sure, I could conceivably hit you with my bicycle, but at least my front wheel wasn't chewing my ass moments beforehand.  (Though I guess it may have rolled through your dog's shit.)  Worst of all, 100% of dog owners think they have control over their dogs, when in reality maybe 1% of them actually do.  How many times have you been riding in the woods when some giant dog explodes out of the underbrush and almost takes you down?  Then the distant owner calls out some command, like "Helios, come!," and Helios is like, "Save it, yuppie" and just keeps doing whatever the hell he wants, including trying to sniff your crotch.  Then when the owner passes with his stupid walking stick (because you need a walking stick in a park where you're never more than half a mile from your Subaru) he shrugs and give you the "Sorry" smirk, and in turn you give him the finger because he sucks at dogs.

So anyway, I figured that apart from the filthy mound of snow the rest of the trail would be fine, so I hiked over Mount Dogshit in my dumb roadie shoes, and while I managed to avoid the dogshit I succeeded in getting iced out of my stupid roadie pedals.  Then everything's fine for a mile or so, until I get to this:


Obviously on a real bike that's no problem, but on a Fred bike with skinny tires and those curved-type handlebars like they have in the Tour de France, it was a nuisance--as was this, which I encountered soon after:


Still, I kept going, and eventually got to this:


So they don't do anything about the snow and ice, which is irritating enough, but they could at least get rid of the fucking abandoned snowmobiles:


(It's been that kind of winter.)

By the way, I should point out that this is a rail trail, and while Justice Breyer is all worried about bicycles running through people's houses, maybe he should be more concerned about the freaking snowmobiles--though it would be pretty awesome if one of these flew off the trail, though a bay window, and onto someone's dining room table.

Anyway, I'd totally have taken that snowmobile home if I'd been riding a bakfiets.

At this point, I realized I'd have to give up on the trail, but before heading back to the streets I stopped to urinate, at which point I discovered the frozen corpse of the rider:


Just kidding!

Though if it was him I'd be tempted to point out that he's not wearing a helment.

Lastly, via a reader, here's exactly where not to place a bell:


Though I guess in the absence of actually stopping you can ring it frantically and hope people get out of your way.

122 comments:

JB said...

Nice early doors.

JB said...

I propose 1 podio spot per commenter. [this doesn't count]

McFly said...

Hey Marlon Perkins I'll have you know crickets like the dark.

Yeah Cleveland! said...

In the 20s and no wind equal great ride

JB said...

And now I read it. Everyone's hungover from drinking day?

Anonymous said...

Read it. My scranus is still thawing out.

the bot warns me of... the trodna!

James said...

early break but not enough puff to podium

Anonymous said...

Maybe still wiped out from last week's anal?

lawrence said...

maybe specialized can design and market a snowploughcyclebicycle. lets talk to NAHBS....

ge said...

That snow's making you curmudgeonly. Apparently not too curmudgeonly to ditch those freaktarded road shoes though. Shoulda got that fat bike.

Top said...

Not for nothing but cycling was the smugiest way of getting around SXSW

DB said...

Whoa. Nice and early. Still feeling the Black and Tans from last night.
Snob will be visible from space if he gets all those lights attached to his bike.

Roille Figners said...

Someone's up early!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...so early... yet so late...

Anonymous said...

Trigger Bell. Wasn't he a character on the Wire?

JB said...

I'm surprised you were on the roading racing bike, Snob. I would have guessed the Surly or some other cyclocrossy bike.

Anonymous said...

Nothing like peddling away in your semi-quiet life only to be shock and awed by someone's dog leaning out the car window going ROWROWRROWR. Crusher, sic cyclist balls!

harkie-chuegel said...

Cats: always in the way (sing songy voice)

McFly said...

DAAWWWWWWGGGZZZZZ your talkin' my language.
Most just want to say "hi".

Some want to bite the crap out of you. You have to learn the delicate art of reading canine body language.

A LOOK cleat driven by a ninja strike to the nose bridge is effective.

BamaPhred said...

1440 lumens. That could be pretty impressive. I don't know what units they use. Lumens per sq cm would be like 1.3 million candlepower! Blaze on BikeSnob!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I like Greek yogurt.

Anonymous said...

Remember this guy?

ge said...

Halfbike from yesterday was missing a key component: an AYHSMB rim. Because haters, we be hating.

Roille Figners said...

Those lumens. Why do people need so many goddamn LUMENS? Snob I beg you, do not be seduced by the Bright Side! Lumens have been undergoing inflation just like the economy would if it were actually doing anything. This is a plea for sanity and for relying a little more on your lob-given night vision ya bunch of scared-of-the-dark, hold-the-handrail, elbow-and-kneepads, try-hard mobility-impaired handi-capable motherfuckers! Bright lights are just as much a proclamation of your inability as anything the seizure-prone would wear, AND they're a total nuisance for anyone coming the other way, on anything narrower than a street. If you're on a rail trail or whatnot, you might as well just yell "fuuuuck youuuuuu" the whole time since it'll have the same insulting and tranquility-shattering effect for all involved, AND, it'll also make a good retort since that's what I'll be yelling when I see those fucking LUMENS!!!!! Seriously if you want to say "fuck everybody else" and "my illusion of safety is most important" but you don't want to pay all that money for an SUV and a gun, bright-ass lights are a good way to go!

go_merkuh_with_guns said...


I have lost count of the number of times a dog owner, whose dog should be on a leash, run either into my path or start nipping at my shoes.

Apologetic dog owner runs up "Sorry." My reply, "No, you're not." When I double-back, guess which dog I almost hit? "Sorry!!"


The "lost dog" signs posted around the "Dogs must be leashed" signs at the end of the fire road isn't a clue, then I guess the coyotes are going to be well fed for another year.

And you thought 'merkuh was a meritocracy.

eleventy-million-lumens said...

I'm a fan of the jetlites corp.

Any company that has a product fu-2, is good folks. It seems reasonably priced and sensibly designed too.

I'm going to wait to replace my 2nd-gen Night Sun for the eleventy-million lumens model next year.

DB said...

I believe Snob should be sent to the Indian Ocean on a water bike and his new super candle power to find that missing plane.

DB said...

Is that cat standing on it's back paws?

DB said...

Never mind. I just took another look.

3G said...

Hilariousness!

Every city that receives snow usually has their own Mt Dogshit. I love the shout-out to this nemesis of ours!

DB said...

Mikeweb:
Did your bike get barfed on yesterday?

streepo said...

I'm telling you that that was not horrifying.

BamaPhred said...

I dunno. After exhaustive wikipedia research I think those 1440 lumens might be just about the same as a common household compact fluorescent lightbulb. Still bright enough. I know what a 100 watt bulb is, and an idea of candlepower. Lumens, uugghh. Dogshit. Seems to be the word of the day, and scranus just for good measure.

"much ecemsif" My opinion exactly

Anonymous said...

Thank you for that.
Helmet mounted lights are the worst. Usually the people that use them are the absolute clueless types. Ex. my boss and ex-girlfriend.

JB said...

RF, I think the problem is that those lumens are probably directed straight forward, parallel to the ground (i.e., in your eyes). They should be pointed down, about 10 to 20 feet in front of the bike.

Although, what do I know? I don't have a bike light.

mikeweb said...

Nice JB. Too early for this working stiff.

g. said...

Man, I have to get used to this Mountain time zone. At least I'm still drinking coffee and reading the news when this comes in. Easier to hide the fact that I'm not doing anything remotely work related.

grog said...

Your cat is an excellent photographer.

Anonymous said...

I got chased by a couple of poodles last Thursday who were being walked leash-free in a Minneapolis city park. It was fabulous.

mikeweb said...

And also kudos to McFly.

DB, no vomit or leprechaun shit on the saddle yesterday. This city really is going soft.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Why, Sonny, when I was your age, a lumen was a lumen. Not like these pussy-ass lumens you have today.

Oh, and you kids get off of my lawn!

commentatorbot_09734 said...

Mikeweb,

It's not going soft, it's gone Corporate.

Chain stores and chain restaurants for a tourist-friendly, corporate friendly, wall street friendly, factory food serving, and working poor wages economy.

What's NOT to love about sameness everywhere in America?

Regular guy said...

That cat is looking forward to some awesome light-spot chasing action.

crosspalms said...

The lumen won't be happy until the luwomen arrive.

Anonymous said...

Does the cat in the lights picture ride? It wouldn't need lights - cats have GREAT night vision....

Bright Guy said...

Why so serious about riding in the woods at night... lighten up.

Anonymous said...

On of my guilty pleasures is hearing the snowmobile death reports on the local public radio news station in winter.

If they're not breaking through thin ice, they're hitting trees. An occasional collision with highway traffic will spice it up a bit.

Does that mean I lack empathy?

Roille Figners said...

OK I've calmed down now. Yes they should be pointed downward more, for the "seeing," though then you inevitably sacrifice some of the "being seen." Fucking, I don't know. Dammit. Anal sex. Ball canker.

JLRB said...

Lights - I love 'em I hate 'em. Can't wait until the smiling raisin bran sun is in the ski longer parts of the day so the indignities of commuting do not include fuggin around with lights.

Many lunar cycles ago, when I bought a light so I could see what I was just about to crash into in the woods by my house it was a 6 D battery beast, and cost a bunch. Now I can get multiples of the lovely lumens in LCD form for a fraction of the cost. So everybody does, and we end up playing this game of I'll cover my light as I approach you on the MUP if you agree to do the same, and if not we can see spots for the next 1/2 mile.

Fuse Blown said...

Just yesterday I told the children to run along and play outside on the trampoline and then I took their mother upstairs and put my ridgid filament in her hot and wet lumen and it was glorious.

I wanted to cuddle but she had to fold some clothes.

RoadQueen said...

I love dogs, but I hate dog shit.

ken e. said...

a couple of seasons back,offroad on mt. seymour, i had about a dozen dogs line up perfectly along side of the trail and sit down... like it was a scene from peewee herman! the lead human said "they never do that."

DB said...

Crosspalms for the early COD lead.

Anonymous said...

It looks like snowmobiler guy is masturbating. He should be careful. You can get frostbite.

Regular guy said...

This was my first "headlight" that actually worked. It came with the Makita cordless drill package I bought about 20 years ago. After it sat around unused for about a year a lightbulb came on and I thought, "I could mount that sucker on my handlebar and I could see and be seen!"

Worked great, bright as heck, a charge lasted about 3 hours in winter and the "quick release" mount I made allowed for easy use as a real flashlight.

Aren't I special?

Anonymous said...

Wow Dassalotta Comments already!

vsk

Comment deleted said...

Yeah, frozen corpse guy looks pretty chill for someone who froze to death.

I escaped New York before the crowds of vomiting suburbanites descended upon it.

babble on said...

We the mentally challenged and seizure prone would be delighted to join you. Just don't flash 1000 lumens directly at me, mmmmkay?

That's something I don't take lightly.

JLRB said...

Dog Lights and Dogshit

BamaPhred said...

To follow-up on crosspalm's comment, I suppose the 1440 lumens are flashing cause they are frustrated? Or maybe they are attracting mates to spawn more Knoglets.

Fred of the Sea said...

I can't ride very steadily or far on that slushy ice shit even with my "real" bike. It does help if I close my eyes, though.

ge said...

Only thing worse than lumens is blinking luments. Anything that even advertises lumens shouldn't be allowed to blink. Retinas. I like mine.

800 is like an old timey 60W bulb, so can't imagine 1440. I'll be looking to the east for the Lob Star.

ge said...

Luments? Are those helment lumens?

Anonymous said...

someone has a fecal obsession

JLRB said...

Ge +1 - blinking is just barely OK for rear lights - should be outlawed for front lights.

According to this on-line piece Car Low Beams = 700 lumens and high beams are 1,200 . So that 1,440 model is blasting more light than a car with high beams.

And not the good kind of high beams

Anonymous said...

maybe, just maybe, the next sub-niche bike (right behind gravel riders) will be the Turd Grinder?

sean said...

I was just searching all over the web for the state of the So.Co. Trailway. You just saved me with the post. Going to wait until after the rain on Wednesday to bike it.

Anonymous said...

Here's a lumen for you: http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2014/03/lumen-bike/

Anonymous said...

But Snobby, you haven't presented to us a picture of the bicycle which provided your carriage along the rail trail!?

You know what joy it gives us to systematically critique every last aspect of your bikes and how illuminating and educative you find our comments.

I do hope this oversight is not repeated again.

PS I especially look forward to seeing your photography from your nighttime expeditions testing those lights.

Anonymous said...

Screw fat bikes and gravel bikes, what I want is a dedicated night bike.

Glow-in-the-dark paint scheme, integrated lights, a limited editions set of pajamas and a fold-out bed with linens, pillow and a comforter.

Anonymous said...

disembodied cat paws!

Anonymous said...

Apologies for the "repeated again" tautology in my post of 2:55PM.

I think what I wanted to say was "repeated in the future", but that's almost as bad.

I believe it's important to acknowledge your own internet idiocies as it allows you to continue to mock the foolishness of others with a clear conscience.

McFly said...

JLRB,
I thank you, sir. Southern women....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

Anonymous said...

Apologies for the correction-to-an-anonymous-comment post of 3:17PM.

The irony of correcting anonymous comments after an "anonymous" bloggers weblog (who doesn't care about fixing his own corrections) was lost on me.

Anonymous said...

Every Portland bike commuter already has one of those fucking lights that blind you worse than a fucking car. God I fucking hate it here.

Dooth said...

Blindered by the light
Wrapped up like a douche
Another runner in the night ...

I think that's how that song goes, or words to that effect.

Regular guy said...

No soggy doggy doo or abandoned Skidoo's on the trails in this tark bike palace.

Would be cool to have "midnight races" here, with high lumen headlights and flashing tailights.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the glow in the dark rims:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/254749710/nori-lights-bicycle-illumination-system

McFly said...

Shine 50,000 lumens on the lululumens I say.....nothing like well lit camel toe. I'm talkin being able to count the folds on the labia. Keep flippin til' you smell the dookey then go back one. Or two.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dooth, that's the way I sing it in my head!

Euro Spondee said...

JLRB, thank you for adding a new word to my vocabulary to go with the nice pictures there.

And yes, who needs lumens when you have candlepower. Like horsepower, you know where you are with that, unlike watts and all

sTONEdEADLAND said...

SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY ROCK MACHINE!

Anonymous said...

Regular guy

That Chilean velodrome is nice. But given the proximity to the Atacama desert, you might find a few freeze dried humans laying about.

DB said...

Me too, Dooth.
I have no idea what the words are to that tune, but you nailed the ones I hear.

Anonymous said...

blind me by the light oh wild one...show me the righteous path!

babble on said...

I'll be damned. I've seen the light and I don't like it!!

I always use my lights these days, though. Just not the flashers. I use the Urban 550 on the lowest solid light setting day, night, or stupid o'clock in the morning. I ride a lot of km in places like Stanley Park and up at UBC, too, where there aren't any streetlights. The lowest setting is usually light enough to see safely at a good clip, but every so often that high beam comes in handy.

I see plenty of raccoon (S?) skunk, coyote, cats, bats and birds, and so far the only bear I've run into has been deep in the Rockies.

Anonymous said...

Birds? You've seen birds when you ride? You must be in Africa or something.

babble on said...

And dawgs. Dozens and dozens of dawgs and der peeps. The only other people crazy enough to be out at stupid o'clock with me are the ones with dogs AND a life.

JLRB said...

High beams do come in handy on a good day - sometimes they can be mouthy too

JLRB said...

I think it's
Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Duce
Another runner in the night


But I did song it as douche in high school

Stu Rasmussen said...

I only use my blinking setting in retaliation, and i'm thinking of going strobe light or lazer....

wishiwasmerckx said...

Moving up through the pack to contest the rapidly-approaching intermediate 100th comment sprint.

Anonymous said...

Yeah some persons leave shit everywhere. Check these fellas out!
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/9840768/Campers-poo-in-red-zone-home
(A red-zone home is a house that was damaged by the earthquake here).

Fred of the Sea said...

I always set my light on steady. All I need is for the lady in the oncoming Escalade to have a generalized seizure and take me out or hit a third party and have everyone come after me.

Grump said...

Back in the day, when I used to ride the trails in fall and spring, I had lights all over my bars totaling about 70 watts (what's this lumens shit?)
70 watts is close to 1400 lumens. (of course, all the batteries weighed about 5-8 pounds).....
and that's the way we liked it, dammit.....
Since those days, I've learned that squirting sweat out of you pores is much more fun that riding outside at night....
.
.

Bogusboy said...

Hey, Snob, The Great Lob is giving you a message:

NYC sucks!!!!!!

DB said...

I think this is 97 WIWM.

DB said...

I'll do 98, too.
Bon chance.

RoadQueen said...

99.....

RoadQueen said...

100!

McFly said...

I just stomped out a KOM with my commuter and NO HEALMEANTS. I dont see what the big obsession is..............

I think I can beat that time.......

ge said...

Okay Grump, I'm gonna geek out. Yeah, no doubt lumens are bullshit since the German lights refer to lux (lumens/sq.m.) And they have proper light cutoff so they focus on the road instead of the trees and oncoming eyes. But watts are even bigger bullshit since it doesn't account for efficiency. 70 W of your no doubt incandescent lights would be like 14 W of LED light, maybe 17 W if you're running halogen.

jodphoto said...

Hey Snob. Get this.

I stopped into the Westchester County Parks Department offices last week which is a snowballs throw away from the North County Trailway just south of Lawrence.

I asked when they planned to plow the pathway. A nice lady at the reception desk informed me they don't plow it so cross country skiers can use it. I guess they make skis with wheels now.

This is true. I shit you not. i guess the parks commissioner Cathy O'Connor(?) had a good chuckle when she made up that pile of shite.

Dooth said...

I have lights on all my bikes, because I ride before sunrise and after sunset...because I'm a Vampire! (wrapped up like a douche).

BikeSnobNYC said...

jodphoto,

Another cyclist out there told me the same line about the skiing, so I guess they feed that line to everybody. I suppose by that logic the reason they don't salt the trail is so that ice skaters can use it. But I'm not a Westchester resident, so I suppose I can't complain...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

FINGERBANG bears a striking similarity to Na Nach hand sign.

Na Nachparty van > all hasid vans.

Anonymous said...

Hasid on a Track Bike a.k.a. Fixie Riding is not Loshon Hora

leroy said...

Well of course I can control my dog.

Just don't tell him that.

There could be trouble.

Anonymous said...

I dunno snob ebay says the 5.5 cost $150 where as my cheap and cheerful 500 organ hole light (that's spelled 'lite' below the graet lakes) made by Chinese chldren cost $40 and actually makes cars give way. On the lus side when I was trying to save money like a good fred by buying a cheap jet lite I found this. http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/1-3M-RC-LX-F16-Fighting-Falcon-Jet-Plane-Vehicle-Aerobatic-70MM-EDF-RTF-/151182073906?pt=AU_Toys_Hobbies_Radio_Controlled_Vehicles&hash=item2333276032
Freaking awesome!! let a dog try to hump that!

Vlad said...

Usually, the scientific standards of our beloved bike snob are pretty high. Not that this post is an exception, but let us say that it for the sake of the said standards' highness i wish to make the following clarifications:

- in latin, lumen means light. In romance language, this gave lumiere in French, luz in Spanish, luce in Italian, lumina in my native Romanian (bet you didn't know that Romanian is a romance language. Well it is, and therefore that Russian accent they always give Dracula is really inaccurate. It would be more accurate if Dracula spoke like Antonio Banderas). It is in that spirit that the international unit for light intensity was baptized "lumen", and that the doctors and anatomists that used to dissect corpses during Renaissance (they still do, actually, I've done it myself in premed school) named the inside of a gut, throat or urethra "lumen", because they could see light when looking through said organs, which they were not able to do when looking through, let say a brain or a liver.

- you already guessed that I am a doctor (of sorts, I'm a psychiatrist) and so it is with a certain degree of expertise when I say that elderly people, more often than not, suffer from constipation, and so a nonagenarian's stool is more likely to be very hard, and therefore good to ride upon with your mountain-style bicycle.

Thank you!

McFly said...

When my wife pulls her lace panties over to the side a beam of sunshine shoots out. So I kind of get what your driving at.

QM Graves said...

Clara Hughes bikes 102 km over the rugged terrain of Canada on her way to London, ON https://livingalpha.com/journal/london-let-s-talk-a-conference-and-the-6th-stop-for-clara-hughes

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I'll give you my white flashing LED when you pry it from my cold, dead handlebars.

JB said...

Vlad: comment of the day.

BamaPhred said...

More Fly6 porn, please, or whatever that strap-on picture taking thingy is called.

Dracul said...

Go Vlad. Nice to have someone with brains around here.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Drac, we welcome brains that light will not shine through, at least. Unlike a lot of people around here. Holes abound in the damned heads.

As far as Dracula's accent, blame it on Bela Lugosi, a Hungarian. Hungarian is a Uralic language, thus subsequent Drac's sound like a Ruskie. And even THAT isn't accurate.

Anonymous said...

Comment

Anonymous said...

If y ou're afriad of getting jumped, you should invest insome blades for your wheels... Kickstarter anyone if it's not going already?

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DFL
did that guy freeze to deth while jerkin it?

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