(Happy Valentard's Day!)
Wow, what an action-packed weekend! Not only is today Valentude's Day, but it's also the 10th anniversary of Marco Pantani's fun-filled death, and it's Presidents Day, which means in honor of AMERICA! I won't be posting on Monday, February 17th, but will be back on Tuesday, February 18th with regular updates:
(Wow, they really fucked up that mountain, what a shame.)
Sure, I could post anyway, but they're having some sweet sales on Hyundais and I need to take advantage.
Meanwhile, yesterday I wrote about Thomas F. Barraga, the Suffolk County legislator who doesn't think anyone should ride bikes (motorized or human-powered), and I was pleased to learn that someone has updated his Wikipedia page accordingly:
I guess the current entry has been "corrected," but at least this version still exists in some sort of Wikipedia limbo. Here's an excerpt:
Barraga's intense bicycle hatred stems from an incident that occurred as a child. At the age of 9, when his father was teaching him to ride a bicycle, Barraga's low-hanging balls got caught in the spokes of his bicycle. He has despised all forms of unmotorized transport ever since. He has thereafter made it his personal mission in life to see to it that 90% of all bicyclists are involved in on-road accidents. Barraga explained, "I loved my balls. I would play with them often, five, six times a day. I resolved to destroy that which destroys balls."
Sounds plausible to me.
In the meantime, spring has never seemed more remote, and this image sums up the current state of affairs here rather succinctly:
That bike should be accessible some time in August.
And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then go high-five yourself, and if you're wrong you'll see some fancy ridin', after which you'll point out that's not a "fixie," though that doesn't make the ridin' any less fancy.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe (or else snowshoe safe depending on where you live), and don't go to work on Monday, even if you're not American.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
(I wonder if it's physically painful to be that stupid.)
0) Thomas F. Barraga thinks nobody should ride bicycles in Suffolk County because:
--"90 percent of those people eventually were hit by an automobile"
--"Suffolk County is a suburban automobile community"
--"I loved my balls. I would play with them often, five, six times a day. I resolved to destroy that which destroys balls."
--All of the above
(I'm thinking that yes, it probably is physically painful to be that stupid.)
1) Thomas F. Barraga voted in favor of the Suffolk County "Complete Streets" resolution.
--True
--False
(I know, right? A lot of these mechanics are white!!!)
2) The Global Development Manager at Specialized is outraged by low wages for bicycle mechanics because:
--Bicycle mechanics are more worthy than gardeners, janitors, and shoe repairmen for some reason
--Bicycle mechanics are not able to live in $3,500-a-month apartments
--Slideshows in support of bicycle mechanics is better PR for Specialized than suing people to defend trademarks they don't own
--All of the above
3) The cool new way to harass cyclists in Portland is with a:
--Laser pointer
--BB gun
--Smokescreen
--Oil slick
(Via a reader, from whence I know not.)
4) SRAM have run afoul of PETA with their new "SRAM Green" prototype component group.
--True
--False
(Who needs a home when you have this?)
5) The inventor of the homeless recumbent is seeking $10,000. So far, he has raised:
--$1,000
--$10,000
--$16,500
--$165
(Tempted to buy a BikesDirect fat bike because as soon as I do it will never snow again.)
6) Fat bikes have "arrived" now that they're:
--Available in crabon
--Available in Walmart
--The subject of local news stories in Cleveland
--All of the above
***Special Competitive Bicycling-Themed Bonus Video***
87 comments:
First?
podium
podium?!
POOP DUMM
It took two tries at the capcha. or I'da taken the gold.
It is a Valentino's day miracle!
Missed the podium b/c getting my bicycle ready for a long ride in Long Island
top ten-ish. For those of you in the US and A, have a pleasant Mayor McCheese Day!
Hey, that was me that updated the Wiki page (the original update, which stuck, not the balls-oriented stuff). I am really glad I contributed to people knowing more about Thomas Barraga. I just hope he has bicyclists or motorcyclists among his constituents, so that someone who wants to challenge him for his seat has a built-in base.
Man, After watching that last video, I can see why Bollywood is taking over. Truly riveting stuff.
WTF?
"Check the large holes in the rim. Most fat bike rims today are single-wall, one layer of material in the rim. With the cutout single wall rims, the one cool side effect is that you can see the rim tape that bulges out due to the pressure in the tube."
We've taken an already weak product and made it weaker?
You'll do a tons more riding.
scranus
caught out shoveling global warming agin when the starting bell rang.
robot sez frnitiz progress. Don't make me laugh
but at least I got lucky 13
now robot is against lianelc. what a flip-flopper
Lots of "All of the Above" on the quiz. Which is why I did so well.
I tried answering "All of the Above" to every question on my SAT. Which is why I did so poorly.
EXHA USTED
Happy Campagnolo Valentino Derailleur Day.
vsk
bot says Valentine
Yes. It is physically painful to be that stupid. I oughtta know....
sincerely,
Crash Test Dummy
Hey, where did they get those *sweet* turf bikes?
Poonjab? Well, sure I guess. I mean....it IS Valentine's Day.
My goodness, they certainly are enthusiastic about their cycle races over in the colonies aren't they?
tpersio servile you say? Well robot old chap, why not?
Hey Babble you need some of those black and yellow radiation lookin' stickers on parts of your hot bod that takes the most impact. Knees, booty, elbows and chin should be a good start.
Podium kisses, gentlemen... XXX
Happy Friday! The sun is shining, the roads are clear, and lurve is in the air...
Sure, maybe it IS time to pay the piper, but first I've gotta go for a spin.
All I got is that the sculptor responsible for Mt Rushmore, Gutzon Borglum, was first responsible for the Confederate Memorial at Stone Mtn, Ga.
I'd prefer Peta Todd to PETA cougars.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
That snake in the shifter made me want to do all of these things at once:
1. Throw up
2. Throw something at my computer screen
3. Run away. Far, far away.
4. Cry
Valentine laden podio kisses to WIWM, Flyover BC and g.!!!! Congratulations, Gentlemen!
Please prove you're not a robot: *hearts* romance *hearts*
Hubba-hubba ;) Nothing like getting hit on by an authoritative figure!
Aw, bless your heart, McFly... fortunately my chin has escaped thus far, but I do yelp in pain every time I sit down these days!
XX
Saw a guy commuting on a pennyfarthing yesterday. Had a blinky light that I assume burned whale oil or the like.
I should add, that based on the number of glaciated streets in my neighborhood, Mr. P-Far commuter was a far braver soul then I. Or an excellent bike handler. Perhaps both!
Babble. sounds like you had a really good Valentine's day then.
My sister-in-law tells a story about how she went water skiing as part of her prewedding celebration and bruised her tailbone. I mentioned that if it hurt after her wedding night, she was doing it wrong. We don't talk much anymore.
Nice podium.
And that is a super fabulous snowman.
What do you expect from a guy whose wife is always on the Barraga?
Watch the Punjabi video all the way through. It's worth it for the no-I-was-not-picking-my-nose recovery at the end.
mikeweb
and here is a pathetic snowman from the north side of Portlandia
http://distilleryimage3.ak.instagram.com/33e49730901911e39ddb1225a6ec8563_8.jpg
provided by peachy.
robot sez 134 trusall but there are no do-overs this time.
The robot test is asking Valentine's themed questions today. i guess I am going to have to just fake it because She Who Must Not Be Named has told me that I am not capable of feeling real love.
Spokey,
You can tell Peachy that snowman is pathetic, but also oddly beautiful.
I have to take my leave to get a VD card for the lady friend and also a small gift that she won't like. In the last 12 months I'm about 1 for 10 in the liked gifts category. She always makes sure I know this fact.
For valentine's day, my wife's lawyer sent divorce papers for me to sign. Maybe, just maybe, that'll maker her happy, for once.
Why don’t they make fat bikes with internal gear hubs? And front roller brakes?
The correct euphemism for truck smokescreen is called "rolling coal".
Cummins vs. bicycles
Yet another reason, mountain bikes > road bikes
Kiran Dhillon reports on why people are rolling coal.
Those racers in Punjab rode like they were on ecstasy.
Dooth at 2:31 for the win.
Nice looking podium.
Had a good time with the 90 year olds. Talked about the Battle of the Bulge.
We also argued who was better, the Dandy Warhols or the Brian Jonestown Massacre.
Quit raggin' on the bike race. It clearly provided a mush needed diversion on an otherwise dull day. The excitement was palpable.
BTW, it looks like the little kid running from the man is the fastest guy on the field.
Did you catch the woman spectator yawning?!
After another look at the crowd, I think I got an idea for a new culturally sensitive helmet design.
All I need now is some technical expertise to make a kickstarter video and some capital for production, marketing, and distribution.
I even have a name for the product, courtesy of the capture;
fast nrshedit
I hope that was just the breakaway not the entire peloton.
Flyover,
Q: Why are divorces so expensive?
A: Because they're worth it!
Old joke, but still funny.
robotest: restore rvershg. Okay fine I'll put the rvershg back.
Robot gave me chocolates and pink hot-air balloons. I think I have a secret admirer.
Rollin' Coal. I don't put much faith in Urban Dictionary, but ATMO this guy nailed it
I'm not veterinarian, but I think the snake caught in the derraileur may not be okay.
Thanks, DB (jeez, now I have to tip my joke writer too).
Robot gave me James Zelthys.
Haven't search engined it yet, but it's mine!
I bet you're all sick with jealousy.
No kids + Valentines Day + 15 year anniversary= We may go do it in the new Dodge. I will try not to Barraga my TRUK NUTS in the cup holders or seat belts. Gunna make that Hemi shimmy down by the lake!
Now the the robot is speculating; "suppose jialoos" it proffered.
And now a creepy turn; "den trustli".
"Manytedu prepositions".
Well yes, I think we're all guilty of that.
"Nouns hellpic"!!!!
You go robot!
"Tonking gDesiga".
I think that's robot for "see you later".
It is fun, till next time all.
So James, got some good weed do ya?
I tells y'all there ain't nothing like fresh snake oil to keep yer shiftin' smooth as a shot of fine whiskey.
I love the fact that nobody is paying attention to the idiots in the PETA video..
Guys...that Indian race was a track style race. 900meters of fall over boredom and then 100 meters of all out sprint...
Since Suffolk people can not ride bicycles they will be sitting around getting fat.
I am going to open a store to sell them things to help them sit around.
I am going to call the store Sofa King Suffolk. All I need now is a jingle repeating it three times quickly. SofaKing Suffolk SofaKing Suffolk SofakingSufolking.
robot "exercises outage" - exactly
Hey McFly...
While you were enjoying sexy time some of your fellow Volunteer rubes were drinking the kool-aid and voting against their self-interest. 'Don't yo'all know them unions is a commie plot."
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/business/volkswagen-workers-reject-forming-a-union.html?referrer=
I know I would be for anything that pinhead Norquist is against.
I have been working in manufacturing in the south for over 20 years. I started out makin 30k and now I make 50k. I did not finish college. I get a months vac every year. I dont need no stinkin union. They needed them way back when but the world is a different place now where most everyone is held accontable to some extent.
it seems a lot of quiz questions depend on reading compensation and underestimating.
What, the Geico Lizard has been killed off. NO, wait, now that I think about it, great.
Yesterday my capcha was "bablegs", server must be in Vancouver.
One I'm looking at now looks like some kind of Mexican food "queslo", not sure I'd want to try it.
I hope Leroy's Dog is OK, we haven't heard him bark in quite a while.
Capcha is "Mangedr" are there really doctors who only specialize in that?
ਤੂੰ ਸਾਨੂੰ ਇਹ ਰੇਸਿੰਗ ਦਾ ਮਜ਼ਾਕ ਬਣਾ ਕਰਦੇ ਹੋ? ਸਾਨੂੰ ਕਿਸੇ ਵੀ ਅਮਰੀਕੀ ਸਾਈਕਲ ਦੀ ਦੌੜ ਵੱਧ ਹੈ, ਅਤੇ ਇੱਕ Armstrong ਜ cipollini ਬਿਨਾ ਸਾਡੀ ਦੌੜ ਤੇ ਹੋਰ ਸਪੈਕਟਰ ਲਈ ਹੈ!
Hey big dummy, do you have a bike riding dog? answer me
Did the 28* rodebikeen today and lookin forward to the 45* monyana! Almost WOOHOO degreezzzzzzzz!
choi game vui tai gamevui.biz
Go bikesdirect! now i can afford a fat bike! As long as my wife says o.k.
AYHSMB You could afford your fatbike if you were union.
Huh.... so they figure the jet stream is changing all of a sudden, that rising temperatures in the arctic have slowed it down and caused it to meander. This means weather systems get stuck in places much longer, accounting for the flooding in the UK, and the freezing in eastern and central North America. It means that cold weather is reaching further south, and warm weather further north, as peeps in Alabama and Alaska can all attest to.
At least we get brighter, drier winters here in Vancouver, which means I can ride more, but you guys out east will all need fat bikes. Sorry bout yer luck.
anon@4:24 - Chillax, dude. It's satire. He makes fun of everyone - that's practically snob's whole raison d'etre.
I don't mind the long cold winter. I have been doing an excessive amount of fucking out of boredom.
"Look you need to' pull it out some babe, I am not a sponge...."
Re; Punjab "Bike Race"....I'm confused...I thought all Muslim's did was attack...
80 FIRST
Anon @4:04
You have achieved the highest level of ignorance. So you have that going for you.
You need this in your quiver: Pedal Powered Lawn Mower (Sod-Cycle).
Steve Tilford helps other people, even if it's an inconvenience.
http://stevetilford.com/2014/02/16/not-many-people-help-each-other-any-more/
Anonymous at 4:24 PM:
Who is making fun? All the Snob said was "Special Competitive Bicycling-Themed Bonus Video"
40 of the glorious rode bikeen milages yesterday! My buddies BRAND NEW Speci@lized had the retaining spanner nut fall off the crank on a fast downhill. It went TING TA TING TING TA TING. We found it.
Who jizzed in Bob Costas' eye?
Apparently people want to date us: http://www.yourtango.com/2014207705/love-dating-6-reasons-date-cyclist-boyfriend?utm_source=YourTango+Daily+Newsletter&utm_campaign=66710c3598-YTNewsletter_A_B_02171402_172014&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_486ef2d3f6-66710c3598-399057413
I need a new post cause I'm going down
Down to the Citi bike that I've left up town
I need a post cause I'm going down
When I read you in my office
When I type in the captcha
I know nobody can do me no harm (except cabs & SUVs)
Because, happiness is a new post, momma
Happiness is a new post, Yes it is.
Happiness is a warm, yes it is... Pooooo-oh-oh-ost!
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