Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wednesday is in the middle of the common Western five-day workweek that starts on Monday and finishes on Friday.

Astute readers of yesterday's post may have noticed the tail of a felinicus domesticus pussy caticus managed to sneak its way into one of my expensively curated product photographs.

The assistant who allowed it to happen has been fired.

The funny thing though is that I don't even have a cat, and the little fucker just leaped out of the box when I opened it.  That must be Brooks's idea of a joke.  Anyway, I've decided to keep it for the time being, and I'm naming her "Countess Labia," at least until such time as I learn how to sex a cat, and which point I'll change the name to "Count Cockula" if it turns out to be a male.

In any case, I haven't "installed" (which is a pretty overblown word for bolting a saddle to a seatpost) yet, since I was SO, SO BUSY YESTERDAY, and when you put on a new saddle you have to do the whole thing with the tape measure, then you have to ride it up and down the block to dial it in, and then you probably have to move the little piece of electrical tape on your seatpost that marks your saddle height, and before you know it it's midnight and the cat has taken a crap in your underwear drawer because you forgot to feed it again.

Maybe "install" isn't so overblown after all.

I did, however, manage to extricate the saddle from its packaging, and the side your scranus goes on has this whole midcentury modern wallpaper thing going on:


While the underside is all rubbery, which is good if you're the kind of person who likes to ride over downed power lines after heavy storms:


Okay.  Now I'll stop talking about it until I've put it on my bike and ridden it for awhile.  (I'm talking about the saddle, not the cat.)

Speaking of being SO, SO BUSY YESTERDAY, while I was out and about being busy I rode a Citi Bike for the first time in awhile because one was actually available when I needed it, and I'm amused to report that Cat 6 racing is not only alive but flourishing in Brooklyn, New York, USA:


While the fixie riders form a shoal in front of the crosswalk, this cunning person trackstands behind them, ready to launch an attack the moment the light changes:


I made a right and went home on the subway, because I've given up on life.

Having given up on life, you can probably guess what I did when I got home.  That's right, I poured myself some booze, sat my ass down on the couch, and watched Netflix until I passed out.  Sadly, the hilarious Cuba Gooding, Jr./Horatio Sanz buddy comedy "Boat Trip" wasn't available, so instead I was forced to watch a documentary, the name of which I have since forgotten.  (And I'm not turning on the Netflix to find out, because if I do and if "Boat Trip" is back on then there goes my day.)  I do remember what the documentary was about though, which was overpopulation and stuff.  Specifically, here's what the people in the documentary said:

--There's suddenly a shitload of motherfucking people on the planet;
--Even though our society grows exponentially more complex, we still have the same shitty dumb brains we did when we were clubbing our mates and dragging them into caves by their hair and bludgeoning wooly mammoths to survive;
--Because of the first thing combined with the second thing, we're not very good at planning ahead, and so we're basically fucked.

Needless to say I lasted about ten minutes before I was snoring away and drooling on myself, but the few minutes I did watch really got me thinking.  For example, there was one guy who was talking about "Progress Traps."  Here's how Wikipedia defines the concept:

A progress trap is the condition human societies experience when, in pursuing progress through human ingenuity, they inadvertently introduce problems they do not have the resources or political will to solve, for fear of short-term losses in status, stability or quality of life. This prevents further progress and sometimes leads to collapse.

So take the car, for instance.  We invent the car, they're great, we can go places really easily all of a sudden, but a century later our economy depends on them and we're running out of oil and the landscape is overdeveloped and we're totally overridden with the things and they'll probably be our undoing.

But in the meantime, since we've still got the caveman brain, we're basically just concerned with keeping the gas as cheap as possible so we have more money for Cheetos and porn.

I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "I don't drive a car.  I ride a bike.  I'm not part of the problem, I'm part of the solution."

Are you, now?  Based on the documentary I watched for ten minutes and the Wikipedia entry I couldn't be bothered to read all the way through, I think bikes are falling into the old "progress trap," too.  Consider the "Bitlock:"


Evidently, holding onto a small piece of metal and inserting it into a bike lock is too difficult now.  Furthermore, if you want to let someone else use your bike lock for some reason, handing them this small piece of metal is wildly inconvenient and can expose you to germs, herpes, and the bubonic plague.  So instead some genius wants you to use your phone for all this, because everybody knows simple mechanical devices function much better when you add a completely unnecessary electronic element, especially in adverse weather conditions.

 Plus, in the 21st century you have to loop every single asshole you know into every little aspect of your life, and now that includes adding or removing them from your network of people who are allowed to unlock your bike when you're not around.  See, in the 20th century, if you missed a bus, you waited for the next one.  Now, you send a text to Brandon, whose bike just happens to be right near the bus stop you're using because that always happens:


And of course Brandon lets you use his bike:


But, Brandon being Brandon, he wants something in return:



Uncool, Brandon, uncool.

Anyway, it looks like they struck a deal, and that hand position foreshadows the act of making payment later on:


So how is this a progress trap?  Well, because this guy needs $120,000 and a fuckton of other resources to turn the simple act of unlocking your bike into a technologically advanced social networking circle jerk:


This on top of all the other resources being used to make all the mechanical locks already out there.  But of course, unlike the metal key you already have (or the combination you keep in your brain because you're one of those dorks who uses a combination lock), the Bitlock offers "Health Tracking:"


Strava, Garmin, Health Tracking...why are people so obsessed with having electronic devices tell them what they just fucking did?  I ride a bike for a few hours, I go up some hills, I come home hungry and tired.  I know where I was, I know what I did, I know how I feel.  I need my fucking phone to verify this for me?

Speaking of progress traps, it looks like Portland may be Portlanding itself right out of being Portland:


“We could become San Francisco,” Portland Housing Bureau program coordinator Kim McCarty said Friday at a conference organized by Housing Land Advocates about the role of transportation in affordable housing.

It'd be a shift that, if mismanaged, could pull the Portland neighborhoods that are relatively bike-friendly out of financial reach for much of the population.

So Brooklyn became Portland, and Portland's becoming San Francisco, and San Francisco is America's App-hole, ensuring we'll all be able to whack each other off via iPhone as we veer off into oblivion.

And that's why I should have watched "Boat Trip."

Lastly, in more great news for cyclists, I've received a press release informing me that FSA has released a headset bearing that saves an amount of weight roughly equivalent to a dollop of frumunda cheese:


Super Light (SL) ACB Headset Bearing - 38% Weight Reduction
MULTIKEO, WA 10/21/13 - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE -  FSA is excited to announce its latest innovation as the leader in headset technology: Super Light (SL) ACB Bearings that are up to 38% lighter.
The new SL Bearings have the same chrome steel inner / outer races and balls that our standard FSA cartridge bearings use. You might ask “Well, where does the weight savings come from?” The answer lies in the housing. FSA’s new SL Bearings have a Hybrid Alloy Housing compared to the 100% Steel versions of our headsets. The alloy housing is responsible for up to 9.2 grams of weight savings per bearing, yet maintains the same legendary FSA durability.
Running our new SL Bearing is one of the easiest and most cost effective ways to save weight on your bike. They are drop-in replacements for your current bearings and retail for only $29.99 each

I've done them one better by removing my headset bearings entirely and replacing them with petroleum jelly, but if you want to spend $30 to save nine grams go right ahead.

131 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love the work Snob, keep it going....like perpetual douchery

Anonymous said...

Podes

Anonymous said...

Nuther third?

BamaPhred said...

Podium?

ge said...

ant1st

Serial Retrogrouch said...

damn... you guys gunned it

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

BamaPhred said...

*Desespoir*

mikeweb said...

Top ten(?) and read it.

Tal F said...

Top ten.

Freddy Murcks said...

Anonymous is a podium stealing doper.

bordie 10

babble on said...

Awww what's the matter with a little piece of tail??!

ken e. said...

lucky

DB said...

Good one today, Wildcat.

Dale said...

Missed the podium! Dammit!!

ge said...

If the process includes removing the old saddle, what you're doing is retrofitting. While you're at it, you'll need to retrofit your attitude to go with the whole "I'm riding a bike with a vegan saddle" personality (even if you're riding into Manhattan to burn tires).

crosspalms said...

You can save way more than 9 grams by taking off your shoes. Unless you have to use your phone to do it, then I'm not sure what the tradeoff is.

McFly said...

I have a newish cat that has a nutsack roughly the size of 2 golf balls. Pretty sure he's a dude cat.

BamaPhred said...

Brandonette has man-hands.
Want to know where you have been and what you did?
Just ask the NSA.
Might be useful after a bender.
I think kitty is adorable. Don't worry about the male/female thing. When it has kittens you will know.
Anyway, how is Felix Silvestris Catus impacting the hives? Hmmm?

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

A word about the cat. You should be aware that around the time Snob Jr. is heading off to college, the cat will be developing feline diabetes and unless Jr. is at a school within easy driving distance, he'll miss the ability to cuddle the cat one last time before it's put down, (or dies at home, or however you want to handle it) which will make Jr. despondent enough to ruin his semester, maybe even his entire college experience. At that point his prospects will be reduced to fast food management.

Just so you know...

Marcel Da Chump said...

Scranus trap.

balls™ said...

Leave your phone at home, save more than nine grams. Weight weenies are irritating.

Hump day, and a little piece of tail. That's quality.

Beth said...

Last night I watched a news segment about how, due to bacterial evolution, the antibiotic age and all its associated medical benefits may be drawing to a close. One of the main reasons given for this is that infections are acute, short-term problems, so it's not profitable for pharmaceutical companies to develop new antibiotics, the end.

Maybe tonight I'll grab a couple of cats and watch Boat Trip.

dnk said...

Dear Mr. Snob,

I have noticed that on many of the other blogs and websites I visit, advertising is targeted directly at me. For example, I frequently shop at the web outlet store of Cock Ring Warehouse, and -- sure 'nuff -- google has noticed my online retail preferences and sells ad space on their behalf to websites, so just about whatever blog etc I visit, I find ads for cock rings.

Except your site. On your site I find the same ads for knog lights, brooks saddles etc. And I never buy that stuff (almost never -- I'm actually a vegan as well as a pervert and a moron, so I did buy the vegan Brooks saddle months ago when you did a special post on it, thanks very much). Anyway, what gives? Why not cut a deal with google and make yourself an exceedingly rich bicycle blogger?

g. said...

Wildcat,
When kittens are small like that it's as simple as grabbing the tail and looking for the correct punctuation :=boy, ;=girl. Or you could wait to see if it pees on everything or has kittens. Your choice. Maybe a more gender neutral name like "Pat" would take some of the need to know away?

Anonymous said...

This weight thing amazes me. I own 2 bikes, a single speed commuter which weighs in at 23lbs, and a beach cruiser with a 3spd coaster brake hub which is around 45 lbs. I have no problem getting either up to reasonable speed without a lot of effort at all. Unless you plan on racing cat 2 in the damn mountains, what the fuck does nine grams matter? I sneeze out nine grams just by looking at the sun on a cold day for fucks sake!

Anonymous said...

Sweet sweater meat on Bitlock blonde.

balls™ said...

Dear Sirs,

I thought I would pen this letter to you to inform you of an irresponsible lack of advertisements on your site for products suck as cock rings, double ended dildos and ball gags.

Please remedy this tergiversation immediately, or I will no longer support this free blogging establishment.

Forever yours,
Balls

CommentatorBot9000 said...

So, excatly why/how does "...the combination you keep in your brain" make you a dork?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

did you try proofide on your pussy?

i heard that it prevents shedding of the hair.

Anonymous said...

quote from mr. rockmachine: Strava, Garmin, Health Tracking...why are people so obsessed with having electronic devices tell them what they just fucking did? I ride a bike for a few hours, I go up some hills, I come home hungry and tired. I know where I was, I know what I did, I know how I feel. I need my fucking phone to verify this for me?

it's not for you. it's to show everyone else how superior you are.

CommieCanuck said...

My beer can is made of hybrid alloy.

Snob, snob, snob. Get in the 2013s, man, everything will be controlled by Bluetooth and apps in a matter of months. Waiting in line overnight for your new iFone? There's a Bluetooth shitting app, iPoop. See a cute chick in a bar? You can meet her, buy her drinks and have sex, all remotely, with Bluetooth. Just put a condom on the phone, because there is something going around that actually gives you blue teeth.

Schisthead said...

Funny. I bought an FSA headset because it had oversized overweight bottom bearings. And so I could watch weight-weenies cringe...

McFly said...

Is Brandon talkin about an Over-the-Pants-Friction Hand Job [i.e. Montez' wife] or the real deal where both parties are scrambling for a kleenx or the best possible receptacle?

I dont' think O.T.P.H.J. is asking too much.

le Correcteur said...

35th. onaodu !

Jan! said...

"[ … ] keeping the gas as cheap as possible so we have more money for Cheetos and porn.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I don't drive a car. [ … ]

Apparently, you did not know what I was thinking. I was thinking: who the hell pays for porn nowadays?

Comment deleted said...

I was going to remark that taking a good dump before riding would save the equivalent of 50 of those fancy bearings, but I figure that wouldn't be in very good taste.

CommieCanuck said...

it's not for you. it's to show everyone else how superior you are.

Which is exactly what "iPoop" app does. Beyond a certain length and mass, it automatically triggers the "Carlos Danger" feature and takes a pic of the poop and tweets it.
#droppedanepicdeuce.

Lengths and masses are recorded at various public toilet locations with a high score list. Doesn't work in Toronto, high scores have already been set by user "RFRDS".

Angie Kritenbrink said...

Meow!

Rick James said...

Furst!!

CommieCanuck said...

I dont' think O.T.P.H.J. is asking too much.

It's practically accepted as a tip for a pumpkin spice latte in most places, in this economy.

Comment deleted said...

Geesh, Commie, that's one of the most disturbing cases of synchronicity I've experienced.

Get our minds out of the toilet!

RoadQueen said...

Congrats on the fuzzy pussy, Snob.

g. = OMFG that's about the funniest term used to describe sexing a cat I've ever heard. "Correct punctuation". HA!

Also, I've been thinking along the same lines recently ie: the advancement plateau that mankind is surely facing, if not traipsing across already. Funny you should bring it up today.

Anonymous said...

"But in the meantime, since we've still got the caveman brain, we're basically just concerned with keeping the gas as cheap as possible so we have more money for Cheetos and porn."

Who pays for porn?

grog said...

Wondering what leroy's dog thinks of your cattail.

CATS ADLE
RIDE COLD
MORE BABE

Anonymous said...

It is spelled 'Mukilteo'.

flailer said...

balls™,

You clearly don't know how Fredly cycling bicycling works.

You don't leave the phone at home. You find the teeny-tiniest smart phone the size of an iPod nano that is **almost** impossible to use and costs $800 + $100/mo for the privilege of owning and never using. No GPS radio either. You have a powertap/garmin thing for that.

That saves several hundred grams versus an already ridiculously priced iPhone and costs at least $1000.

You'll make your first $10,000 after investing $1 million. It's the bike business after all.

McFly said...

My app-hole has been bothering me.
May need inspection.

Any takers?

How about givers?

wishiwasmerckx said...

So now we are bragging about taking bowl-winder shits?

Is there nowhere this comment board won't meander off into?

Did everybody have Mexican for supper last night or something?

babble on said...

Aw maaaaaaan, and here I thought we were talking pussies and sex! How did this happen?

Comment deleted said...

Look, I tried to head it off, but I guess something was just in the air.

Eeew.

DB said...

Did Brandon get his handjob?

Comment deleted said...

wiwm -- galumpkis. I'm now tan, rested and empty.

McFly said...

CC, who has KOM on Rest Rings so far in that segment?

SEGMENT!!

JB said...

So I should invest in real estate in the yellow and orange areas? Thanks bikeportland!

Roille Figners said...

hahahaha.... "Count Cockula"

It's the dumb shit that always gives me the LOLs

Roille Figners said...

Though obviously Lord Cattington of Catsfordshire is the better name.

wle said...

re bitlock -

what;s wrong with a combination lock and calling the owner, on the 1 time in 25 years this actually turns out to be convenient..?
wle

Anonymous said...

Had Taco Bell for lunch. Needless to say, Im 27 grams lighter now. Well, except for the 9 grams that i sharted on my way to the local Trek store...

RoadQueen said...

Comments section is kind of shitty today.

Does this mean that Snob is now King Shit on Turd Island?

RANTWICK said...

"Strava, Garmin, Health Tracking...why are people so obsessed with having electronic devices tell them what they just fucking did?"

Ahhhh. Thanks Snob, again. Really.

balls™ said...

It's all gone shits and giggles around here. Any chance we can swing this back to hand-jobs and tail?

They should make an electronic personal massage device that keeps track of course records and calories burned. Is there an app for that?

Anonymous said...

the Bitlock is a clever idea, but takes something ridiculously simple, locking your bike, and turns it into something that has the complexity of a space landing. What happened to the good old days when innovations were things that made our lives simpler?

McFly said...

Yeah. Handjobs. The females are so greedy these days. Back in school it was no big deal to get tugged off in the movies. Now they ain't happy unless your goatee gets moist. Women.

Anonymous said...

True, past couple of days in here were actually pretty good. Can't really put my finger on what's changed.

Oh, I got it. Welcome back RoadQueen!

DB said...

Rantwick:
I'm reading The Circle and I'm seriously thinking of getting rid of all electronic devices.
Maybe not the microwave. And my wife's We-Vibe.
Is there a Strava for vibrators?

Comment deleted said...

No, it's just you, Anonymous. Why don't you fuck off now, like a good little misogynist?

Vegas said...

Wait, you fired your assistant for taking pics of pussy? That's exactly what for I'd be paying my assistant.

And wow that's an epic shoaling you received there, MildCat. Looks like you need to get yourself a Cat6 coach.

crosspalms said...

If you need a break from hand jobs and poop measurement (crazy talk, I know), they're talking about bike infrastructure over at the NYTimes.

Vernal Magina said...

Snob,

For fuck's sake, what is the name of the god-damned cat?!

This is the Internet, after all. It needs more cat pics...

Speaking of the internet by the way, anyone else notice that the "Breaking Away" is up for viewing on Netflix? Every day needs a little more Jackie Earle Haley, imhmfo.

Anonymous said...

I love electronic devices. How else can you send your wife a pic of your huge nuts along with a request for a Basic No Penetration Purge Service later on in the evening? You can't. That's how.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Vegas,

shoaling on the streets of manhattan has really become an epidemic. snob will need more than a coach to win that race... cuz, you know, he sucks at life.

robot is aware of pussy on the blog --> OKmoused 1188

Mike in Dallas said...

A progress trap. Man, that alone made reading today worth it. Thanks WCRM.

CommieCanuck said...

who pays for porn?

The US porn industry is estimated at $3B annual. This guy pays for all the porn. Warren Buffet's nephew, Jimmy, but not that Jimmy Buffet.

Vegas said...

Oh yeah, and I've many times had the convo with weenies who are always upgrading their ELS (expensive lightweight shit) for even more ELS, and why I don't do the same. Oh, maybe because it doesn't matter how light your shit is if you don't ride enough. And maybe you should think about that 15lb tire around your waist before those 8gram bearings. And if the shit's too light it's just gonna break after a month of thrashing anyway.

Anonymous said...

I think my new motto in life is to be "behind the scene as ride you bicycle."

RoadQueen said...

"Who pays for porn?"

A: People that don't have a computer or any friends to borrow from/trade with.

(That was a 'boy' answer, see the ":" punctuation?)

CommieCanuck said...

For fuck's sake, what is the name of the god-damned cat?!

No one knows the actual name of cats. We give them names, but we never guess right, and they are all really pissed off about about the names like "Mittens" and "Fluffy" and "Mr. Boodles", so they opted out.
What's your name , kitty?
"Fuck you, that's my name".

g. said...

My work here is done.

Vegas said...

SR,
Maybe a Life Coach then??? haha
They're not only blocking Snob, but also the crosswalk, and it seems like the cars behind them as well. I'm no city rider so maybe I'm missing the point.

Maybe you guys need to develop an iShoal App, and for every time someone shoals you they get a demerit. NO PBR for YOU tonight!

When I'm in my stretchypants I don't even shoal, because I know I'm gonna pass the guy on the NEXT or the 45lb beach cruiser in 3 pedal strokes.

Anonymous said...

CD, who asked you? Oh, and no need to curse.

ge said...

CD 1:07 - your respect for the etiquette guidelines of this comment section is greatly appreciated by all. We're trying to run a clean discussion here and frankly, we're running low on ass wipe.

mikeweb said...

In exchange for allowing me to name him what I want, my cat has politely allowed me to live in the apartment that he owns.

But he never lets me forget that he does indeed own it.

Yarpo said...

Top 83thst-eenth!!!!

Wudda won if the headset bearings had been replaced for $30 bucks, but I only had $27...

Sisal mats make awesome scratch pads...for cats, or suspected cats, so maybe THAT is why the photos were over hardwood floors. I understand now.

Dooth said...

You can't spell scatology without cat.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Late to posting today. Just got done reading the wikipedia entry and all the external links.

We're all doomed.


Anonymous said...

speaking of shoaling. what they hell, i agree it has reached epidemic proportions in nyc. I love when I stop before the cross walk to have some fucking moron ride through the cross walk and pedestrians against the light and then have to stop for traffic like 8 feet in front of me. I get tired of having to ride around them and remind them that cross walks are for pedestrians. I usually just get a nonplussed stare. come on people, life really isn't that fucking difficult. The simple guideline of "don't do dumb shit" will get you very far.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

A cat lived in my house once 10 or 12 years ago. Shitbox was in the basement. I can still smell that crap once in a while.

Anonymous said...

CD: Misogynist? In case you hadn't noticed, there are other women in here, and for some reason, they never get flamed.

Salty and Sore said...

"Strava, Garmin, Health Tracking...why are people so obsessed with having electronic devices tell them what they just fucking did? I ride a bike for a few hours, I go up some hills, I come home hungry and tired. I know where I was, I know what I did, I know how I feel. I need my fucking phone to verify this for me?"

...if you come home and can remember where you were, what you did, how you felt, and why you did it to start with, you're not be riding far enough? just a guess

CommieCanuck said...

...why are people so obsessed with having electronic devices tell them what they just fucking did?

This answer needs an infographic.

CommieCanuck said...

in case you hadn't noticed, there are other women in here, and for some reason, they never get flamed.

Never flame anything with a vagina, it's Al Gore's first law of the internet.

McFly said...

That new seat is the cats ass.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Vegas,

please... the only way shoalers will be deterred is to slash their tires every time they shoal. or perhaps to go right behind them and start nudging them slowly into traffic.

Anon 3:28, i get the urge to scream "assholes" at them when they all collectively block the crosswalk and i inadvertently become part of the problem because i'm blocking the only other side the pedestrians can cross.

Anonymous said...

The cat's name is "Cat Sicks". Duh!

RoadQueen said...

"In case you hadn't noticed, there are other women in here, and for some reason, they never get flamed."

Where have you been? I thought you've been around forever? Other female posters get flamed as well.

You're not the only special one.

babble on said...

That's it. I've had enough of this not-riding-a-bike-cause-I-see-two-of-everything business. After all, two roads are better than one. Right?

Cept I probably need a new brain bucket first....

Oh! And, speaking of which, FYI, Giro just got back to me. They offer 30% off your next helmet if your last one was in a crash. Never mind that they don't actually make a helmet which will protect your brain in the event of said crash.

Here's to riding without crashing. Wish me luck, peeps. God knows I need it.

babble on said...

Queenie, mum's been telling me I'm special since day one. THAT's why I have to wear a helmet.

Don't let the negative nellies get to you.

RoadQueen said...

Thanks Babble.

Be careful if you end up venturing out...two roads may be better than one, up until you take the wrong one! O_o

Comment deleted said...

C

babble on said...

D. E. F...

DB said...

Babs:
30% off a Giro is still expensive.

Comment deleted said...

CI, my dear.

mikeweb said...

babs,

When I was hit by a car and woke up a few hours later in the emergency room about 14 years ago it took me a good year before I could ride again around cars without having a minor nervous breakdown.

Riding again in a week after a significant brain rattle is courageous, if not a bit daft. Be careful.

DB said...

Almost time for Starbux to start serving Peppermint Mocha Lattes.
I wonder what Snob will rename that to?

Comment deleted said...

CC -- there's an asshole exemption to Gore I, of course (I.e. never flame anything that has a vagina, unless it's an asshole).

Oh, and sorry for swearing, cunt-fearing jizz-wad anonymous coward.

Roille Figners said...

CVII

Progress itself is a trap, didn't anyone tell those geniuses?

Anonymous said...

Most informative head injury and helmet standard article EVAR
The Wayne State Tolerance Curve is the result of a pretty gruesome series of experiments back in the '50s and '60s in which dogs' brains were blasted with bursts of compressed air, monkeys were bashed on the skull, and the heads of dead people were dropped to see just how hard they could be hit before big-time injury set in. This study's results were backed up by the JARI Human Head Impact Tolerance Curve, published in '80 by a Japanese group who did further unspeakable things to monkeys, among other medically necessary atrocities.

The two tolerance curves agree on how many Gs you can apply to a human head for how long before a concussion or other more serious brain injury occurs. And the Wayne State Tolerance Curve was instrumental in creating the DOT helmet standard, with its relatively low G-force allowance.

Anonymous said...

Babble, could you describe the mode of injury? i.e. describe the accident in detail?

You caught a wheel drafting and got crossed up and highsided? Landed on your side and smacked the side of head on pavement from about 5ft up? Or did you slide into a curb, telephone phone or parked or moving car?

The moving cars, and sudden abrupt stops ie. telephone pole, parked cars, will ruin your day.

I personally would suggest getting a slower bike, better suited for trails with no car traffic. I imagine a gravel bike, stanley park and sea wall cruises with yoga, stand up paddling, wreck beach incorporated. I would think you could figure out a good workout, less risk of brain injury, better audience for display.

Anonymous said...

According to both these curves, exposing a human head to a force over 200 Gs for more than 2 milliseconds is what medical experts refer to as "bad."
Heads are different, of course. Young, strong people can take more Gs than old, weak people. Some prizefighters can take huge hits again and again and not seem to suffer any ill effects other than a tendency to sell hamburger cookers on late-night TV. And the impacts a particular head has undergone in
the past may make that head more susceptible to injury.

Is an impact over the theoretical 200 G/2 millisecond threshold going to kill you? Probably not. Is it going to hurt you? Depends on you, and how much over that threshold your particular hit happens to be. But head injuries short of death are no joke. Five million Americans suffer from disabilities from hat's called Traumatic Brain Injury—
getting hit too hard on the head. That's disabilities, meaning they ain't the same as they used to be.

Anonymous said...

It's unhealthy. First of all? Women who feel good about their sexuality don't usually post objectifying sexual material on the Internet for male validation/appreciation. Secondly? Fast, talented female downhillers don't need that validation from men because we ride because we love it. So. Her actions, this video, her attire and riding style are evidence enough, to me, to say she's compensating for something she feels she lacks. I'm not jealous in any way, just sort of ashamed for her and that she would cheapen womens downhilling for her own sexual validation.

Comment deleted said...
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Comment deleted said...

Boob cam.

Comment deleted said...

Not the End of Life on Earth As We Know It.

Anonymous said...

http://cm.mountainlifemag.ca/2013/10/a-thing-of-beauty-valhallas-naked-ski-segment/

Comment deleted said...

That was rather awesome; I don't think I've ever had simultaneous tumescence and shrinkage before.

Anonymous said...

significant shrinkage

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind having double vision around babble.

babble on said...

WOOOOT!

Just scored a SWEEEEEEET deal on a Lazer Helium at my favourite LBS, Ride on Again. Thanks, Donny, you rock!

I'll have to wait another day for the helmet and so maybe another two before I ride, but at least I'll have the lightest, best noggin protection I can get. Yes, I am a weight weenie when it comes to my head. The pain in my neck taught me well.

Pain is good that way.

Mikeweb - yes. I am definitely daft. The one thing I love about the naturopathic approach to health and wellness is how it encourages you to continue on with your daily routines as much as possible. Truth is I am seeing much better now than I was last week, or I wouldn't go. And of course I'll be very careful.

Besides, it wasn't a driver's fault. It was mine, and I learned from it. As you do.

I didn't hit anything other than the road when I went down. It was a fairly deserted road we were riding, too, with a wide shoulder - the sprints toward Iona Beach on Sea Island in Richmond. The woman who stopped shortly after the accident is a doctor, blessed be.

anon@5:05. Thank you for your opinion. Lol! Too funny.... :D

McFly said...

Babble I think you are like Elaine on the episode of Seinfeld where she wasn't getting it regular and all the mental stuff got all scrambled up.

BamaPhred said...

Well Babs don't feel bad. I just set the bar on daftness a little bit higher. Launching out of my climate controlled bike garage this PM into traffic, I wondered why I couldn't clip in. Couldn't see what was wrong so I turned back to home base. I figured it out when I stepped off bike. Wrong shoes. I had road cleat shoes instead of SPD shoes. Wait, it gets better. I thought I would switch bikes, but nooooo that didn't work either. So I finally looked at my cleats. I had one shoe with road cleats and one shoe with SPD cleats. As the kids say, Huurrrr Duurrrr.

Mr Nofish said...

The Bitlock and all of this iPhone centric stuff really does put a smile on my face.

I picture the day their iPhone gets stolen or breaks and they have to RUN (literally) to get another one YESTERDAY because they suddenly woke up in a prison where nothing can be done unless the damn thing is working.

Strava because I wanted to find out nice roads to ride on, and I enjoy the long distance bantering with people who were in the same place as me, but different time. And I know how many kilometers on my chain because rotation.

The Garmin because it's handy to know if I'm just deluding myself into thinking I'm going less slow today, or imagining that headwind. The lap function is also nice to mark places down (e.g. where does that road go? check it later on the map)

And you're totally missing the point about cats: they poop where they do just cos. Toxoplasmosis is just an added bonus.

babble on said...

OMG, McFly. You're probably right.

:S

leroy said...

My dog wishes to point out that the name of WCRM's cat is "WCRM's Cat."

He thought that was obvious.

Although he will admit that "Cat Sicks" was a pretty good guess.

babble on said...

BamaPhred- thank you. I do feel better now, but you don't hold the record on that one. I have a photo of my best mate meeting our provonce's premiere in two distinct different shoes.
Sucked to be her that day, but it was good for a laugh.
Just tell me you weren't totally rocking a concussion when you finally did get out there.

Teed said...

DFL!

BamaPhred said...

Babble, can't blame it on brain injury. Just being myself!

babble on said...
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Anonymous said...

Who you calling asstoot?

Anonymous said...

the cat - in the photo - would that happen to be 'hipster pussy?'

MacRyan said...

thanks for the "Surviving Progress" recommend... another viewing suggestion for those that like to be informed is "Blind Spot" regarding the human created issues our planet is facing...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1285158/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl

cycle on!