Monday, October 7, 2013

This is just the subtitle, the actual title is hovering in the air just above your computer or smartphone.

Yesterday was one of those wet, misty days, and if you participated in the MS Bike Tour I hope you're recovering well.  I say "recovering" because, based on what I observed while out bicycle-cycling myself, roughly 75% of that ride's participants managed to fall from their Fred chariots.  Of that 75%, I'd say roughly half fell while slowing and then attempting to turn, while the other half were merely attempting to disengage themselves from their clipless pedals in order to obtain coffee.

Please note that I don't mean to disparage a worthy cause.  I'm simply referring to the vexing relationship most Americans seem to have to recreational bicycle-cycling, and I think the aforementioned 75% would benefit enormously by reading this:


(The one on the top, not the other pieces of crap.)

Anyway, New York City.  There's a lot to love here: the world-class museums you never bother go to, the manicured parks crowded with assholes and tourists, the renowned cultural institutions you can't afford to visit...  Maybe you live here and you're addicted to the fast pace and the heady mélange of people from all corners of the globe.  (Yeah, right.)  Or, maybe you don't live here, yet you're still smitten by the romantic manner in which the city has been portrayed in film over the years: a town of nebbishy intellectuals pontificating entertainingly as they perambulate, yet one that is also not afraid to roll over and show you its seedy underbelly.

One thing's pretty likely though, which is you probably don't think the best thing about New York City is that it's a great place to eat while sitting in your car:


Anywhere else, breakfast might have had to wait. But, in a land where a bouquet of daffodils, a clubbing outfit or a box of Pampers can be summoned in the flicker of a smartphone screen, the solution was simple. Thus began Mr. Diaz’s habit of having his morning sustenance delivered directly to his car. “I have the whole works,” said Mr. Diaz, a shoe salesman. “Bacon, eggs, home fries, toast. I have a real breakfast in my car. It smells like a restaurant.”

This is one of the most depressing things I've read in weeks.  "It smells like a restaurant."  There's something so tragic about that quote.  There are about 900 restaurants per block on the Upper West Side, yet this guy sits in his Mitsubishi "hotboxing" bacon, eggs, and flatulence.  It's like coming home to find your wife waiting for you in lingerie and saying, "You know what, honey?  I'm gonna take a pass and go wank off in the car."

Also, if your most cherished indulgence is eating in your car, why not reduce your cost of living by like a million dollars a month and move to the Midwest?  Not only would you be able to upgrade that Mitsubishi SUV to some other piece of shit SUV with bigger cupholders, but you could take all your meals at Sonic and never have to sit around waiting for the street sweepers (or streetcleaners if you prefer) to make their rounds ever again.

Of course, the key to dining dans la voiture in New York City is the bicycle, a machine nobody wants to have fuck-all to do with while they're driving unless it's bringing them a sandwich:

John Hackett recalled biking uptown from the Financial District four summers ago when he witnessed a police boat heading straight to the East River shore.

“I thought they were going to be jumping off like a SWAT team or something,” Mr. Hackett said.

But there was a man on the bicycle waiting. “The next moment, the boat kind of kissed the shore. There’s a policeman there reaching over the railing of the esplanade and getting this bag of evidently Chinese food, and handing money back to the delivery guy,” Mr. Hackett said.

And then? “Everybody went their own way,” he said.

I can't believe the police boat had to head all the way back to land just to pick up some food.  Where's Water Fred when you need him?  Maybe after his "successful" (in that he didn't sink) Hudson River crossing he too will move here and become the city's first seafaring food delivery person:


(Water Fred, aka "Pontoon Weenie," probably being heckled by a boater to "Get a freaking dinghy already.")

Speaking of water crossings, somebody wrote an opinion piece in the Times about how there should be a pedestrian-and-cyclist-only bridge to Governors Island:


“O HARP and altar,” marveled the poet Hart Crane about the Brooklyn Bridge. But if you don’t love it as he did, don’t worry. With bridges, as with everything else in New York City, you are spoiled for choice. More than 2,000 bind this metropolis.

Still, let’s build one more — a pedestrian and cyclist bridge from Brooklyn to Governors Island to Lower Manhattan. Let’s call it the New Bridge.

Actually, I think a better name for this bridge would be the Trans-Harbor Clusterfucktacular.  The idealist in me loves the idea of New York City having the most majestic bike-and-pedestrian span in the world, yet the realist knows I'd want to jump off of it to my death if I ever actually tried to use it.  If you've attempted to cross the Brooklyn Bridge by foot or by bicycle you can only imagine what a night-terror traversing this bridge would be.

Anyway, it's probably not even worth thinking about it, since the All-Powerful Bicycle Pontoon Lobby will never let it become a reality:


The All-Powerful Bicycle Pontoon Lobby has billions invested in Governors Island becoming New York City's premier recreational destination, at which point they will position their pontoon system as the best alternative to infrequent ferry service--and as stupid as I still think bicycle pontoons are, I'd give pretty much anything to see someone try using them with a Citi Bike.

Here's more proof that the writer of the opinion piece has not thought things through:

Making the New Bridge won’t be easy. A bridge high enough to allow large ships to pass would require long approaches, set well back from the waterfronts. We could build such a bridge all the way from Manhattan to Brooklyn, with access down to Governors Island via sweeping or spiraled ramps. Or we might build two spans: a low bridge from Brooklyn to Governors Island and then a second, movable bridge — there are many options, from a typical drawbridge to an elegant tilt bridge — onto Manhattan. We must also consider the company this bridge would keep. It must be beautiful, day and night.

Spiraled ramps?  Are you kidding?!?  Has this person ever ridden on the George Washington Bridge?  There's one (1) sharp turn on the bike path ramp that eats Freds for breakfast, and all it takes is a single wobbly, timid tridork getting wedged in there and the entire span backs up all the way to Hackensack.  In fact, I'm pretty sure there's actually one stuck in there in the satellite photo:


If they had a spiraling ramp to Governors Island--from Brooklyn no less, which is home to the city's most incompetent cyclists--the Coast Guard would have to airlift cyclists off the "New Bridge" by helicopter on an hourly basis for traffic to move at all.

And in news of professional cycling, Dave Zabriskie, the rider who has managed to parlay a moustache and talking slowly into what some people consider "comedy," is retiring:


"It's been an interesting 13 years. But there's a time for everybody, nothing lasts for ever, even cold November rain…," he said with his usual dry sense of humour.

Yeah.  I get it.

So what's he going to do?

"Cycling is what I know so I'll pursue something along those avenues. I've got a few ideas. I'm still going to ride bikes."

Cycling fans love Zabriskie's laconic I'm-actually-falling-asleep-while-I'm-talking-to-you bon mots almost as much as they love Jens Voit's goofy Teutonic "Shut up, legs" Schwarzenegger lite catchphrases, and so it seems pretty obvious to me that they're going to replace Phil Liggett and Paul Sherwen:

Voigt:  Froome has good legs today.

Zabriskie: "He's got legs, he knows how to use them."  Heh.

Voigt: "Shut up, legs."

Zabriskie: Shut up, Jens.

And so on.

Either that, or, more likely, Zabriskie will release a line of gravel bikes, because if there's one thing cycling needs it's more gravel bikes.  So entrenched has the totally ambiguous gravel category become that you can now even buy a "beginner gravel" bike that will teach you how to ride a regular gravel bike:


“It’s made for a rider who isn’t comfortable with a drop bar, so this gets them started,” a Giant rep explained about the AnyRoad. 

How does this "get you started" with a drop bar?  Either a bike has a drop bar or it doesn't.  Anyway, everyone knows the proper way to learn how to ride a gravel bike is to start with sand, since the grains are tiny.  Then, you slowly work your way up to full-size gravel chunks.

Of course you'll need a beginner sand bike for that, but that's something else.

115 comments:

Serial Retrogrouch said...

podio

Anonymous said...

pod

Dale said...

Podium!!!

Flyover Bike commuter said...

The days off put me in the top ten.

streepo said...

I am a satinist!
Hey baby wanna Schenkerman?

Mike in Dallas said...

top ten?

Timothy McGovern said...

What day of the week is (anti)sacred for Satanists, anyway?

One Hole said...

Tomp tem

Anonymous said...

david byrne says rent is too high, ugh

One hole said...

Tomp tem

Flyover BC said...

Nope, I'm not smitten. Sorry. But I do like to read about it's grimy underbelly and topside, at least here.


mikeweb said...

I did the ME bike tour.

JamMasterCray said...

Top Twenty, at least. First time early-finisher, long time reader.

CYSGUES

splandiferous said...

The AnyRoad will be a sellout hit for Giant.

I know Snob is bitter and angry about it, but shop monkeys will be able to sell it.

Regarding the bridge to whatever island you think exists, if it's a pedestrian/cycling bridge, in theory one could give it quite a steep grade. Freds would hit whoo-hoo speeds! But, that would make it harder to summit than Mount Whitney for New Yawkus and traveling 'merkuns.

Cleveland yeah! said...

Tep twonty.

Gary Taubes said...

Screw you, Snob.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

...i won today because i had a beginner gravel bike attached to pontoons... and when i beached, i rode over fine sand.

dAVid byRnE said...

I wave to the doubledecker buses from my bike, but the passengers never wave back

incredible-sandwich! said...

I just read the caption on that Giant bike. $3200 for an aluminum alloy bike with SRAM X9. Wow. Somebody is making a killing on a $50 landed cost frameset.

leroy said...

What I learned this weekend.

One and one's dog can go out for pasta Saturday night because one plans on bicycle cycling to Nyack and maybe Bear Mountain on Sunday.

Once one's ordered, one's dog will remind one that the MS Ride will take over River Road and 9W and the West Side Highway on Sunday and there's going to be showers anyway.

One's dog will convince one that one should still stop off at the Haagen-Dazs after dinner because one can still ride in Prospect Park on Sunday.

On Sunday, one's dog will make snarky remarks about the slimming effects of lycra while slowing down numerous times just so he can drop one.

Oh well, could be worse. One's dog could drop deuces.

That's worse than avoiding wet leaves.

RoadQueen said...

Podio congrats to Grouch and Dale!

XO!

Nothing else to add, other than I was sorry to see this weekend end.

Anonymous said...

O SCRANUS and altar

CommentatorBot9000 said...

We don’t need no stinking bridge. There is a big air vent structure just north of Gov’s Island, on the Brooklyn–Battery Tunnel (Hugh L. Carey Tunnel) that is connected to the island by a small causeway. Visible on Goolge maps/earth. Just relocate the Guggenheim ramp and stripe a couple of bike lanes in the tunnel and we’re done.

Zombie Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said...

Suck my longfellow, Snob.

Anonymous said...

another one of my embarrassing cycling moments caught on satellite no less,,i prefer to ferry to GI, thanks,

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

oh and an AnyRoad too!!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous is missing the point on the David Byrne rant.

Not that I could quite figure out what it was between Byrne recalling his early years in NYC and the guilt he has for being completely disconnected from a life where people that have to work for a living.

Somewhere in there, people are supposed to make stuff and not take a well paying job shoveling fraud at a bank.

babble on said...

Snigger. Yeah, and sand is so simple to ride in, too. :)

Hey! My bike has beginner drop bars! I thought they were just matchy-matchy with the compact crank, but it's bad when you get to the top of a hill only to notice you're still in the drops, isn't it? That's how you know you have baby drops.

Leroy, your dog makes me ever so grateful the boy's cat can't talk. I see how she looks at me.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:58pm,

I see his point but a rather ironic article coming from him.

Safe, clean, cheap, pick two.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

stripe a couple of bike lanes in the tunnel and we’re done.

Hahaha And the howls of thousands of 2%er's who lose a lane for their Range Rover/Audi/BMW would be worldwide news comparable to the Arab Spring.

Even if it could happen, do you know how many cyclists would be killed and "no criminality suspected" in a tunnel?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

That book on the top is a good one.

Nice podio grouch. I twiddle my thumbshifters in your honor.

BikeSnobNYC said...

CommentatorBot9000,

There was the small matter of that tunnel being completely full of water about a year ago...

--Wildcat Rock Machine

babble on said...

Yeah, you have to wait for a shuttle bus to take a bike through our tunnel, and I'm not sure I'd have it any other way, either, what with the way people drive these days.

Kisses, Grouch. XX

leroy said...

Dear Ms. Babble,

My dog wishes to point out that a cat may look at a king.

At least, according to The Proverbs And Epigrams Of John Heywood, 1562:

Some hear and see him whom he heareth nor seeth not
But fields have eyes and woods have ears, ye wot
And also on my maids he is ever tooting.
Can ye judge a man, (quoth I), by his looking?
What, a cat may look on a king, ye know!
My cat's leering look, (quoth she), at first show,
Showeth me that my cat goeth a caterwauling;
And specially by his manner of drawing
To Madge, my fair maid.



babble on said...

Looks like the rain has eased up over here... I wonder if there's time to give us this day our daily grind...?

Anonymous said...

funny, I did the Bike MS thing yesterday (and you couldn't be more right about the spaz factor) on my way back over the GWB I got stuck on that hairpin on the pedestrian offramp behind a tandem with what looked like two octogenarians (not on the bike MS ride). They had to get off and walk their bike through the turn while I balanced at about 2mph behind them. I did not yell "on your left" because at their age I don't think they would have heard me. Anyway, I guess today's blog is topical for my day yesterday. keep up the good work wildman cat machine.

CommentatorBot9000 said...

"There was the small matter of that tunnel being completely full of water about a year ago..."

SCUBA Fred.


http://www.scubster.org/eng-home.html

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Serial Retrogrouch said...

is there anything a fred can't do?

babble on said...

LOL! I can't wait for space Fred. I'm already a cadet - sign me up now, Scotty.

Freddy Murcks said...

Snob - when you say "clipless pedals" are you referring to clitless pedals? I believe that clitless is the preferred term.

39 gyani

babble on said...

canproofcanproofcanproof

Ooooh, all that and culture on a Monday morning, too! Sweet!

If only the boy's cat would cast her withering gaze upon some well-deserving king. And this kitten would have nothing to do with poor unsuspecting Madge come for a cuddle, either.

I'm pretty sure she dreams of murder. I've seen what she does to an escaped cricket...

Ann Patchett said...

I'm so disappointed with you. Words can hurt too.

McFly said...

You can't spell Bike Utopia without Pot. Or But.

ge said...

Snob, I see what you're doing here. You've become a shill for Rivendell. You openly mock gravel bikes, yet subliminally plant the idea in people's heads that peoples bikes should be "gravel ready". Then you recommend Just Ride.

To be fair, I read Just Ride, fully expecting to disagree with about 3/4 of what Grant had to say. I was amazed at how much I agreed with. I picked up a few tips and discovered in one or two respects I'm even more retrogrouchy than Grant. Oh no, I've become the shill.


Robot almost picked up on my topic: 138B RtalkSF - yer learnin' robot.

Anonymous said...

Babble, those are some serious hills. You are hardcore.

erikbe said...

I literally laughed out loud when I read the Voight-Zabriskie commentary...Hee-Larry-Us!!

Roille Figners said...

My friend's brother couldn't stand Dorito smell, couldn't even tolerate you eating them nearby. So my friend hotboxed his brother's car with it one time. Got up early, went out there with a bag of Doritos, sat in the car with all the windows rolled up, eating Doritos and breathing heavily through his mouth. Got out and quickly closed the door. When time came for the brother to leave for school, he gets in the car and is greeted by a car full of hot, humid, Dorito-breath.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, snob!

Anyone who follows this blog knows exactly which byrne-face to picture when reading this line, "I wave to the doubledecker buses from my bike, but the passengers never wave back. Why? Am I not an attraction?"

Perfect.

JB said...

$3,200 for an entry level cross bike? That statement does not make the sense.

JB said...

Roille,

You're not going to tell us what happened?

I once floated a paint-peeler in the car before going into a hockey game. The car still smelled after the hockey game. We rolled the windows down, that's what happened next.

babble on said...

Thank you! :D

That sounds so much better than the other things I've been called.

They say that a good athlete works on their strengths, but a great athlete works on their weaknesses, and I suck at climbing so up up up I go.

69 SoHelpa

Yes. SoHelpaMeGod!

Mr Plow said...

Get a freakin dinghy. Heh heh

Regular guy said...

There was a 6 story parking ramp that my buddies and I would have races in after midnight. It had a spiral ramp for exiting. We would ride up the parking area and zoom down the spiral for a few laps. It gets hard to maintain a constant high speed turn for 6 stories and once in a while someone would lose it and crash. While this was a lot of fun, I think its a bad idea for the common fred-sucker.

I think the gravel bike trend will really take off once Walmart starts to sell them since many Walmarts are located in gravel road territory.

Jethro Walrus Titty said...

Zabriskie Point

Anonymous said...

I did 65 out of the 100 miles of the MS Bike thing yesterday too. Now my "friends" are saying "you owe me 35% of my donation $$ back!"... in jest of course. I (almost) did it on a Peugeot PX-50 Franken Rando 650B. The reason for DNF (aside from the solid fog, rain coating the glasses, being scared of 40mph downhill on slippery roads) was it weighed more than a CitiBike when I packed it up (yes, I do meed a kitchen sink), plus I am 30 pounds overweight! Was a good day all things considered (no falls or hospitalization required).
Too much ship traffic near Govs Isl. I'd rather see a Fredwalk / FredPlank installed on the VZ bridge to SI.
vsk

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

My daily commute (unless it's raining) has gotten much better since I ditched the backpack and got my new Lunchbox Portaging Apparatus

Steve Young said...

I don't know what you're talking about in that image of the pile of books. The second, Edward Lear's Book of Nonsense, is a seminal work. Which would explain why all of the pages are stuck together.

the Jimboner said...

Monday MOP.

Freddy Murcks said...

The problem with cyclocross, as I see it, is that it has taken over by a bunch of roadie dickheads who think that every bike ride should be some sort of fashion show*. Once upon a time, people raced cross on whatever shit they could cobble together. Now $3200 bikes and $1500 crabon fibre tubular wheelsets are considered to be reasonable entry-level equipment. I am still trying to "race" on whatever shit I can cobble together, but it is becoming harder to tolerate the constant pressure to (unnecessarily) upgrade my equipment.

Sincerely,
Freddy

* I am not even going to go into the fact that nearly 100% of cyclists look like complete idiots in their biking togs and that "fashion show" is highly relative.

466 psettel

Roille Figners said...

JB, Naturally my buddy was watching surreptitiously when the brother got in the car. About 4 seconds after closing the door, he threw it back open and came tumbling out and made a sound like "MUUUEHHHH!" When I say he tumbled out, he didn't even bother putting a foot down to stand up, he just threw himself clear like the car was about to go over a cliff.

Too bad this isn't sex-related cuz:

freekina 69

McFly said...

Hey JB did you give your woman an ass spankin with a majestic bike throw?

DB said...

Hey, Kids:
I'm almost ready to pulling the trigger on a DeRosa Primato. Can't decide on a 57 or 58. I'm exactly in between. Discuss and Advise, please.

McFly said...

Is that an Italian hooker? I would definately get the 57.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

DB -57 You can always go with a longer stem if you need more goofy tiller effect.

wishiwasmerckx said...

DB, conventional wisdom says go with the smaller frame b/c less materials = lighter bike. Works if you are average or short-waisted. If you are long-waisted, go with the bigger bike with the longer top tube.

DB said...

Thank you, gentlemen. Your advice is under consideration.
Anyone had any dealings with buying from Wiggle?

JB said...

McFly, she was already a few yards back so I threw the bike to pip my buddy's wife - nobody noticed.

Any reason why my 20-year-old steel bike with 105 and no hub maintenance coasts faster than new Fred bikes? Do those fancy loud hubs have more friction?

Serial Retrogrouch said...

DB, always go against conventional wisdom.

Anonymous said...

DB, wiggles a good company to deal with, though I'm based in the uk.

Schisthead said...

Get the 58, you can always trim it down with a hack saw.


Those Giant gravel bikes look suspiciously similar to the Next La Jolla cruiser the neighborhood homeless guy rides.

Is it flattery, or lack of inspiration?

wallace_and_gromit said...

JB,

Your bike coasts faster, presumably because it's heavier (you included) than your nearest coasting rival.

Freddy,

Spot on lad! The niche has mostly grown more from roadies extending their cat 6 season in most places in uh-meh-ri-cuh.

A couple of places that do not do USAC races actually have many more riders on all kinds of equipment. That mystical place is called Oregon, wherever OBRA operates. Washington State is rumoured to have big no-USAC cyclocross fields.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Isn't Wiggles that company where each of the four principles wears a different color suit? I didn't know they were into bikes too.

JB said...

W&Gromit,
I meant to mention that some of those I was coasting past were as heavy or heavier than I. one guy was on a brand new Independent with King hubs and had me by 20 pounds.

It could be the pilot, I guess.

Anonymous said...

DB, 10mm wont make any difference, not even on your dick.

Anonymous said...

Just Ride

There's some decent information in the book.

But you gotta take it with a grain of salt when the author tries to convince the reader that a bike costing more than two thousand bucks is an average price for an adequate commuter bike.

I guess ignorance is bliss for the new rider and an imaginative entrepreneur.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

JB,
were you flatulating while coasting?

i flatulate while i coast, it's always easier than while pedaling... but out of courtesy i don't do it when other cyclists are around, so i never know if coasting faster than the others.

Anonymous said...

79th

McFly said...

JB, maybe they drug their brakes just a bit cause they could see your festering cold sore.

rural 14 said...

Rural 1st!

Ennui! Tornados! Frosting tomatoes!
The secret to cyclocross is to ride faster than anyone else and not fall off. The end.

ge said...

JB, read your assigned BSNYC Book club recommended book and you will realize you really need a 60cm frame.

isurvelo 42 - Fredly version of Ay caramba

Dooth said...

A bike tunnel? There's a tunnel under Park Ave I used to enjoy zipping through--before it was outlawed--but I only rode it the couple of minutes it was car-free.

Anonymous said...

"And also on my maids he is ever tooting."

Wow. Bad mental picture from that line.

Mario's Albino Tadpole said...

When will the bike industry realize the vast, untapped market of pedal powered flight? I can see a full crabon bike that attaches/detaches from a set of wings.. Then the skies above the Hudson would be full of freds in full flight, desperately trying to make it to the other side before lactic acid ended their epic flight in a anti-climactic cold, polluted, splash.

55 iEnvesti

babble on said...

"I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike..." Willie Nelson

Anonymous said...

Sand bike...awesome ...I was standing on woodchips waiting for mates on a ride( standing on the cycle path renders one vulnerable to crashes in the morning commuter Olympics) and was pondering the birth of another "specific " bike ... A woodchip traversing cycle ...useful for cities as woodchips are cheaper than grass, so there is much to be traversed. It will come as a singlespeed option for those hardcore woodchippers.

Must mention when out mountain biking we are on the wrong bikes and need sand and gravel specific bikes( that is mountain biking in Western Australia...no mud!)!!

Anonymous said...

Snob, late to the post today, but wanted to congratulate you on the Zabriske / Voight dialogue, that's priceless shit right there.

Freddy Murcks...I couldn't agree more, that's why it's important to crush that guy on the $11,000 moots, the condition only serves as motivation for me (and sometimes an excuse!)

paulb said...

"If you've attempted to cross the Brooklyn Bridge by foot or by bicycle you can only imagine what a night-terror traversing this bridge would be."

Thirty years ago, creaking across the Manhattan Bridge on the D train at 2 mph, eyeing the rusted steel, empty space, and random wood plank where the northside footpath is now, I thought it would be too narrow for a bike lane and I'd never walk or ride across that bridge. Now I do, every day, or night. Build Sam Schwartz's bridges! We will use them!

McFly said...

I work with "morning people" and they need to GTF out of my face. I am glad you are talky but I am not listeny until 6:45 or 7:00 at the earliest.

I am not too sure about Dave Z. I mean, the man is Mormon and only has ONE WIFE. That's like going to the methadone clinic and asking for excedrin.

Liz said...

I once rode with a lone wolf who had an older aluminum Trek with front and seat shocks. He rode through miles of large, closely-spaced gravel on a dirt road but it defeated me. His tires were not fat tires but smoother road tires. He had great balance and was confident enough to let the front sort of go where it wanted to over the gravel. Riding gravel like this is achieved through ability and technique, rather than having a gravel bike. Also, shocks can help.

Anonymous said...

Liz, he was not a true Lone Wolf. Otherwise you would have witnessed none of this and would have no account to relay.

LONE WOLF

tomt said...

Could someone from the big city compare and contrast a traveling merkin with what the more traditional stationary merkin? Us outliers want to know.

Krakow said...

JB,

Tire pressure, aerodynamics (fatter guy could be wider guy, for example), lack of soul, coal-black heart, deal with sa(i)tan....there are many potential variables.

JB said...

I was running 200 psi tubeless crabon disk wheels, it may have been that.

Speaking of shocks on road bikes: Remember the royal blue and yellow colorway Cannondale mtn. bikes with the "head shock?" I saw a guy that had installed a headshock fork on the same vintage and colorway road bike. Vintage gravel bike?

BikeSnobNYC said...

JB,

I seem to recall Cannondale selling a cyclocross bike with Headshok in the early days of off-the-rack cyclocross bikes. Maybe that's what you saw...?

--Wildcat Rock Machine

JB said...

I said, "I didn't know they sold road bikes with the Headshock."

He said, "I put it on there myself. There's not as much travel, though."

I said, "Oh cool." My wife rolled her eyes.

Who really knows though...

JB said...

Oops. Headshok

wishiwasmerckx said...

Like taking candy from a baby...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

JB said...

Thanks for getting me off-track this morning. Here's a Cannondale "road race & triathlon" bike with a Headshok and aerobars! Kludge from the LBS.

Anonymous said...

Never Dork Out around your wife. Much less chance of Head Shock if you do.

ge said...

Don't remember cx, but they definitely sold a road or tour bike with a head shock at one time.

Anon 9:39 - intrigued. What will be the design criteria to differentiate between sand and wood chip bikes? Stickers for sure, but what claims will you make for the ad copy / kickstarter campaign.

30 ouriesp - robot thinks different bar grips for wood chip bikes

Freddy Murcks said...

McFly - I am reasonably certain that Dave Z is not a Mormon. Believe it or not, some Utahans are not practitioners of the faith. Dave Z's non-Mormon status is even documented in the Desert News, which is a newspaper owned by the Mormon Church.

"Growing up in Salt Lake City, he was neither a Mormon nor a wild non-Mormon — his description of the only two choices available for a young person. So he chose to spend time alone riding his bike."

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/600145944/Utahn-wears-yellow.html?pg=all

Sincerely,
Freddy

PS I live in Utah and I ain't no Mormon either.

7c bulatfa

McFly said...

I stand corrected. I kind of relate because I live in TN and am neither a meth-head nor am I obese.

babble on said...

But you ARE a night owl who is up and on-line at stupid o'clock in the morning.

streepo said...

moral tartuffery!

McFly said...

No I don't stay up late but I do get up early. That would make me a morning-rooster.

Angie Kritenbrink said...

Computer? Smartphone? I've been reading the mimeograph version of this every day.

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surur blog said...

Snob, late to the post today, but wanted to congratulate you on the Zabriske / Voight dialogue, that's priceless shit right there.

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