Monday, August 19, 2013

Wet and Wild: Sucking Water From A Tube

I believe in trying new things.

Just kidding!



No, I hate new things.  I think they're evil and wrong--especially when it comes to bikes.  That's why back in the 19th century you never would have seen me on one of these:


I know it's hard to see, but that's only because I refuse to try new things, such as trying to learn how to take quality photographs.  Still, because I love you, I'll go into the magic box I'm now typing on and see if I can make it clearer:


Well, that's a little better I guess, but if it's still not good enough for you please click here.  (And if you're mad about the lack of a "NSFW" warning on that last link click here.)

Anyway, the point is this is a "ratchet drive" bike, and unlike the pennyfarthing with which we're all familiar, the small wheel is in the front.  Here's a close-up of the pedals:


I'm sure some early Fred read about this in "Velocipeding" magazine and spent a fortune on it, at which point he was roundly mocked by the proto-roadies and early weight-weenies because the set-up was so much heavier than a direct drive:


"Ahoy-hoy there Frederick, are you coming or going?," they'd ask derisively as they passed him.

Then would come the Retrogrouch who thought they were all a bunch of consumerist dupes:


Early Retrogrouch had good reason to be cranky, considering the pounding taken by his scranus.

By the way, if you're wondering where I saw these heaps, I was out in the "country" with the family this past weekend and we went to this museum-type place.  They also had a shitload of old cars--which, truth be told, I thought were way cooler than the old bikes.  Sorry, but they were.  I'm sure the people driving those cars ran poor ratchet-drive Frederick off the road with an "a-ROOO-gah" from their old-timey horns, but now that we're past that and bicyclists and drivers share the road without a trace of acrimony we can all look back and laugh about it.

Speaking of trying new things, despite my aversion to this sort of behavior I actually did something this past weekend I swore I'd never do, which is wearing a hydration pack:


Like most people who won't try new things (not that hydration packs are even remotely new, but they're new for me), I didn't have a good reason for refusing to wear one.  Really, my entire objection was that a backpack with tubes sticking out of it looks really dorky, and if I didn't know better I'd think all those people wearing them were scampering off into the woods to administer enemas to one another.  Plus, old-fashioned bottles always worked fine for me.  (For drinking, that is.  I never tried to administer an enema with one.)

However, as time passed, I started to understand the appeal of the hydration pack for the pursuit of off-road bicycle-cycling.  Firstly, it's fine stuffing your dainty little things into your dainty little pockets when you're riding your dainty little road bike, but having a jersey full of crap is a lot more annoying when you're riding your bike over logs and stuff and your full pockets are slapping you in the tramp stamp area, so a snug-fitting backpack can be nice.  Secondly, bottles get all dirty*, so if you're carrying a snug-fitting backpack why not be able to drink out of it too?  Most importantly, as I get older regularity becomes an increasing concern, so I never know when I'm going to want to "drop shammy" and give myself an enema.

*[Another reason people cite for wearing a hydration pack is that bottles can fall out of cages and can be difficult to drink from on rough terrain, but I would argue that if your bottles are falling out then your cages suck, and if you can't drink from a bottle on rough terrain then you suck.  And as for using a hydration pack because your full-suspension long-travel all-mountain enduro-gravity-whatever bike doesn't accomodate bottle cages, we're not talking about that stuff so go away and take your full-face helmet and your ugly long-sleeve Monster Energy Drink jersey with you.]

So I'd been thinking I should probably suck it up and try a hydration pack already, and by pure coincidence former advertiser Jetflow asked if I wanted to try one of theirs.  So I said yes, they sent me one called the "Tomahawk" (racist!), and I threw it on this past weekend.

Basically, the deal with the Jetflow is that it doesn't use a bladder.  Instead, you just screw a regular bottle in there and suck your hydration right out of that:


See how the system looks like a futuristic womb nurturing an alien fetus?


Here's how it looks unsheathed, and it comes with a bunch of different caps so you can attach various types of bottles to it:



It's also got space for your crap:


Which I need now because in addition to my keys and my cellphone and my wallet and my food and my pump and my Travel Yahtzee and my Sunday Times and my reading glasses I now have to carry a fucking EpiPen with me:


I haven't had The Hives since my little roadside incident, but I figure I should always be prepared, and until someone makes an integrated mini pump/EpiPen it's just one more piece of crap to carry.

Anyway, so far I like the convenience and I plan to keep using it for off-road bicycle-cycling.  I also totally would have used this for the Rapha Gentlemen's Race I participated in this past May, partially because you can never have too much food or liquid on a ride like that, but mostly because the sight of a hydration pack would probably make those preening Raphalites plotz.

Oh, and you get it to relinquish its precious liquid by biting and sucking this silicone nipple, which is my one area of concern so far:


As you can see, the head of the nipple started working its way out of the tube, and it would suck to lose that in the middle of the wilderness--or, in my case, the suburbs, where losing my source of hydration could mean riding up to one (1) mile to find a store.  Of course, it could be that I was suckling too aggressively, as in this photograph which was forwarded to me by a reader:


(Now that's a hydration pack.)

Lastly, it's sobering that while I need a special bag with enema hoses just to ride around on some mountain bike trails a few miles from my home, this person appears to be circumnavigating the globe using no special equipment whatsoever:


This bicycle was spotted by a reader in Saratoga Springs, and it gives new meaning to the term "saddlebag:"


That's some serious portaging.

104 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gee Business!

Anonymous said...

Podio

Skoose said...

Dick Brakes are your future

ChamoisJuice said...

OTB

Jasper said...

Early doors

Fred Nifacent said...

Tops Diez

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

So, I saw a new phenomenon in Marin yesterday - a semi-recumbent tandem: the guy in front was recumbing, and the guy at the back was in an upright bicycling riding position. Seems stranger than a gravel bike to me. Anyone else seen one of those?

ChamoisJuice said...

Bikesnob, try a stem shorter than 90mm, DO IT, YOU WON'T.

I saw an Eliptigo in person this weekend. More than one actually. I was not tempted to ride one. I was tempted to liberate the Rohloff hub from such an abortion.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Boob feed zone.

Anonymous said...

Funniest part was the bit about you getting hives from riding a bike! Har-har-har!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

This blog is really helpful for the cycle rider's like me. It helped me much by providing informations and pictures of naked recumbent ladies.........hope it will progress.

Euro Spondee said...

That is the kind of aggressive sucking I am all about

babble on said...

Gooooood Mondorningday!

ChamoisJuice said...

two doods riding a tandem. You say this was in the San Francisco area? I'll be darned.

Those recumbo tandems actually make a lot of sense. The recumbent part has a freewheel, so the stoker (who's in the front, and can't steer) doesn't have to pedal at the same cadence as the captain. Or at all, really. So instead of Freds (the true Freds, not the nuskool interpretation) dragging their unfortunate wives along with them, forcing them smell their farts and match their cadence, the can simply sherpa them around in a mobile chaise lounge.

McFly said...

Is there anything more beautiful and tender than a small human child suckling a breast and then I pry that child off that breast like a GPS off a windshield and then have my way with it?

Majestic.

Anonymous said...

Lumpen,

What's old is new again.

IMHO, it makes tandem cycling lots more interesting for the stoker than the stoker's normal "airplane ride" seeing left/right only.

Ahh the Eliptigo. I believe those will become the norm and bicycle cycling folk will become the equivalent of penny farthing riders. You heard it here first.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

i'm one of snob's seventeen (17) children!

Jimboner said...

Ass Pony

Anonymous said...

Yea top twenty

babble on said...

mmmmmagicboxfuckingyourselfunsafelyatworkmondayratchedtriveegyptianeyedesigncrankyscranuspoundingassweasleslaughingaROOOgahletsgotothewoodsheresuckthisnowswallowumisntthatgoodslappingthetrampstampstuffingyerbumPLOTZlolbitingsuckingnipplehowdoyoukeepthestrawclean?!mmmbitingsuckingnipplemmmmmagicboxhappyYAAAAYbabyboobiesboobiesgoodforyousnobbersyouactivistyouwhatareyougtalkingaboutveryspecialequipmentindeedturningwaterintomilkhaveyougotanaturopathforyourallergiesYET?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Scranus

balls™ said...

I might be old enough to be a retro-grouch by now, but perhaps it's just sanity.

http://www.cyclingnews.com/reviews/photos/ibis-ripley-29-review

I'm sure that thing rides great, but does a bike have to be so fucking complicated? Crabon, hydroponic breaks, self leveling seat-post, double bounce. WTF? I don't even want to know what it costs.

What happened to 2 wheels and a nice ride?

babble on said...


Lost. The. Plot.

Anonymous said...

Snob: Carry your Epi-pen everywhere.

Was stung by a bee (pre-Epi pen days) while cycle-biking to work and barely made it to the ER. Doc said blood pressure was "80". I figure 120/80 and he said "no, just 80, can't find the other one..." or words that that effect.

Dodged a bullet that day.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

I HATE NEW THINGS!!!

but that does not apply to teets'n'nipples... newer is better.

McFly said...

I want to clarify. Not the child. The breastessesszzes.

JB said...

Dude, if you don't have that Ibis it's like you're...

...still using a rotary phone.
...watching a TV with a cathode ray tube.
...wattage efficiency isn't important.
...still using tubes in your tires.
...still using cables on your bike cycle.


Also, hydration pack with built-in motor, ftw!

Anonymous said...

Breast milk, the new recovery drink!

Fritz said...

the only cyclist water bottle that does not taste like plastic is the Nalgene one, but it needs to go into
some kind of foam covering so it does not go warm inside a minute..

RoadQueen said...

I have nothing to add.

I'm impressed simply by the fact that the woman with frontal hydration packs can and DOES use them on-the-go.

I was one of those hide-somewhere-and-keep-covered breast feeders.

Huh.

Mr Plow said...

I do share your love of special equipment.

Regular guy said...

Homeless fixie rider. Must have been kicked out of his parent's house. He should get a shopping cart and tow it behind, lots easier.

Clancy Anderson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Sucking water from a tube?

No holiday is complete without

Pulling mussels from the shell.


******

What I learned this weekend:

On long rides, your mind can wander and you don't care that it's missing.

Spent a few miles thinking about how Quiet Riot's lyric "come on feel the noise" does a glissando similar to the first line of the chorus in Elvis' "Burning Love" ("Your kisses lift me higher").

Confused the hell out of my dog when I started whistling it for him.

Then he dropped me.






Clancy Anderson said...

This is how you suck water from a tube. http://youtu.be/9UCZ5YdfjNw?t=58s

El Bonkistador said...

Flip flops, titty baby and helmentless.. I bet she doesn't carry a epi-pen.

Anonymous said...

Is the milk maid's bike an "ENEMA"?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I looked on the website for a second or two but couldn't find an answer. What's with the double tube set up?

I did notice these two statements of which I beg to differ:

"Problem #1: Drinking from a polyurethane bladder tastes just plain nasty.

Problem #2: Cleaning said contraption is difficult and can still result in mold growing in the nooks and crannies."

My poly water bag tastes fine.

The bladder will taste nasty if you put beer in. The positive pressure is nice though.

My method for bladder care is so simple and easy its ridiculous. I rinse it out and stuff it on that skinny shelf inside the door of my freezer. No mold or anything can grow in there. When I'm ready to ride I just fill the bag and go.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who does this. Once or twice a year I use a little soap when I rinse it but other than that I'm going on something like 3 years with the same bladder.


BamaPhred said...

I'm confused.

Water bottles aren't supposed to look like they have been rolled in the dirt and taste like a hose pipe?

I was so slow this weekend even my shadow dropped me.

And I didn't care.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Note: Two hoses connect to the manifold. One delivers liquid to the bite valve and the other releases vacuum pressure through the jet valve. The jet valve hose can be shortened, but it must receive fresh air."

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Thanks

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Your welcome.

Blog Drafter said...

I thought today's (free) post was going to be somewhat tedious immediately upon espying the Just Kidding and penny farthing pictures, but I hung on, even after almost getting fired (Snob, you do realize that most of us on the East Coast read your blog at work, right?) and was genuinely amused by the "scampering off into the woods to administer enemas to one another." and "take your full-face helmet and your ugly long-sleeve Monster Energy Drink jersey with you" comments. Ha, LOL.

Overall, a solid B minus. Enjoy your day and thank you.

Anonymous said...

that ideer to suck on a measly lil water bottle instead of a glorious 2.5 L (123.7 gal US) plastibag is dumb. alot of contraption, with all the drawbacks^ of a plastibag, with none of the benifits*.

*Benis:
1)big

^Drawbax:
1)contraptionery
2)eggsucking club

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

When I'm recumbent bike cycling or on the road bike I have been using the Camelback insulated bottles from the LBS. I was skeptical but they work great. Ice water will stay Icy for like two hours on a hot day.

As you mentioned mountain biek riding is the only time I use a hydration pack.

What a coincidence I just got my fresh epi-pen refills this weekend.

Anonymous said...

Enduring CJ's top ten spot hogging, under various stupid names, is indeed onerous.

crosspalms said...

Speaking of preening Raphalites, I saw this statue in London years ago, and someone had put dabs of paint on the palette with numbers next to them. Made me laugh.

33 asswequ, better than ass monkeys I guess

DerZoots said...

Whats with the cold water bottle crowd?
You'd rather have less hydration vs. cold water.
On a hot day seems like a bad trade off. On a cold day a bottle that won't freeze seems like a very good choice.

Robot Profiler: lritatio 27

PBateman said...

yeah, why wear your water bottle? i guess for a mountain bike not having it rattling around is nice, but if you are going to go so far as to wear a backpack...why not get the advantage of the larger bladder bag?

i think those camel toe back packs have room for other stuff too.

no wonder you ride a BIG DUMMY.

ha. bam. gotcha that time.

McFly said...

I was averse to hydration backpacking even though I had in my arsenal a CamelBak from my Hare Scramble days. I got tired of eating mud and slapped it on one day and Sweet Jesus it was like I had disovered the nipple for the first time.

A small dab of super glue will keep your bite valve in check. [Everyone please insert jokes about eating superglue. No shit.]

DerZoots said...

YEah that shit is stupid.
If I'm going for a MTB ride that requires a bag there better be at least four hours worth of hydration in there. Gotta wash the PB&J down with something.
What do you do with this thing stuff it full of waterbottles? Now you're playing domestique on the wrong bike with no caravan.
Back to stupid.

Robot Oh NO YOU DONT: nglisnar 187

ChamoisJuice said...

Clancy Anderson,

you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

This is how you drink what from a tube.

Stanley Spidowski > you

Anonymous said...

Hydration packs are stupid. Bottles work fine.

Comment deleted said...

"Preening Raphalites" was particularly good.

JB said...

If all you have is a couple of bottles of water on your mountain cycle, you're not ready for epic to happen.

Anonymous said...

I thought chocolate breast milk was the new recovery drink!

And for the non-racist comment if they called it the Artisinal Axe instead of the Tomahawk it would have been PC!

TM said...

I don't understand the benefit of the "Tomahawk." They took a hydration pack and made it a lot more complicated, all to achieve the twin goals of increased bulk and reduced capacity.

SocialBlunder said...

That is not a saddlebag, it is a manure catcher.

Anonymous said...

It's funny that as we get older and more entrenched in our increasingly regimented lives we compromise what once seemed like a pretty reasonable value system to the point where we are buying stuff like hydration packs. What's next Mildcat? A fanny pack?

Anonymous said...

TUMBLR DONE SHOWED ME THE BREASTY BIKER AND THIRSTY BABE.
INTERWEBZ!

Mr Plow said...

He didn't buy a hydration pack. He got one for free. That is totally different. And you know it. Everybody likes free crap.

crosspalms said...

Serious story, but the next-to-last paragraph cracked me up. Moral: When fleeing the scene of a crime on your bike, stay off the sidewalk.

ChamoisJuice said...

The water bottle bag is the Softride of hydration packs. Think about it.

Camelback are for gapers. Unless you are riding more than 10 miles from civilization, then they come in handy, and there are no style police to silently judge you.

Bike Snob: people that wear full faces and ride squishy bikes to ride Graham Hills or whatever 300 vertical foot bump with handicapped accessable trail ARE GAPERS. Non-kook mountain bike riders tend to be located near MOUNTAINS.

That crabon Ibis is old school. WRONG SIZE WHEELS DOOD.

Suggestion Box said...

snob, why not just have Babble ride with you; then when you need your area slapped, she can do it?

Cipo Approved Breast & Legs said...

No helmet, flip flops and a kid attached to her nipple, sure glad she's wearing a crucifix.

Jimboner said...

Saturday on the climb up Ibitipoca I had my Camelbak and 3 water bottles. 60k of dirt road, single track, sand dunes and rock, 12hrs, the last 3hrs by moonlight, 3,000 meters cumulative elevation gain. Saw wolves and water buffalo, ate lunch in the middle of nowhere at the house of a man named
Arquimedes.

ChamoisJuice said...

OKOKOKOK, there are many factors that determine whether one has SKILLZ and style on a roadbike, supplesse, bike and kit appropriate to skill and experience level.

The two things you MUST be able to do to consider yourself a passable road cylist:

1. Hold your line while drinking from a water bottle.
2. Take off a jersey while riding
3. Do a poppa wheelie

Mr Plow said...

I am inventing a way to attach a motor to a bicycle. It will be epic.

Dooth said...

The mother of all hydration packs.

McFly said...

Here's a funny CamelBak story. The thing: AMA Mid South Hare Scramble The year: 2007 The Place: Bucksnort, TN
The Class: 250B Vet

The sucking end of my camelbak got hung down in my bars/tank/head stem area while my hand slipped off the bar and I thrusted forward. I went to come up and Gas It(tm) and I could not come up. I had to pull over and detangle. The End. [A crash would have been better I know]

ChamoisJuice said...

I saw a dooder repping a chromed out, stretched bicycle chopper, with an auxilary motor. Dooder had matching black leather saddle bags, vest, and chaps. He was rubbing a chrome healment with a spike on top.

Here's an entertaining obituary about a New Yorker that defies stereotypes.

In his heyday, Jerzy Kosinski cut a wide, bizarre swath through New York's literary and sex-club scenes. One of his constant companions was a young law student. This is their story.

ChamoisJuice said...

Oh yeah,

Babble, do not let your 10 year old boy race road bikes. You might as well wrap a rubber band tightly around his nutsack.

The only bike a 10 year old kid should be racing is a BMX bike.

Roille Figners said...

Oh damn Mr. Plow, don't let P. Bateman hear that talk about this "motor cycle" (if you will) idea of yours.

I totally got passed by some cheater-pants on an electric motor-cycle (as it were) in today's Cat VI race. THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT! BIG FAT CHEATER-PANTS!

Anonymous said...

I gotsa real camel sack to drink out of near petra, filled with 50-50 wine and water, so, wine being 90% water, lets see heer...

jimmy left chicago at noon,
emily borrowed $1.50=

twas 95% water, from a camel sack.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Might have known CJ would be in first with the reply, and for once, I have to say that you pretty much nailed it with the 'sherpa them around in a mobile chaise lounge' description. I didn't get to see them for long enough to know how much pulling either was doing.
And then, I believe it is usually called a chaise longue, at least where I come from. And what's with all the rules? Are you the Velominati?

@Anon 1:05 - *Benis: big.

I was convinced that was a misprint for a moment, but then you are not CJ...

RoadQueen said...

I got passed the other day by a moped.

That kid has obviously never heard that saying about fat chicks and mopeds, etc.

Then again, I don't think his friends were in sight. So that made it ok to crush my pride.

I WAS CLIMBING A HILL, DAMMIT!

Full face helmet on the little buddy, no less. *shrug*

ChamoisJuice said...

Mopeds = wack
The french = wack

Yet somehow french moped video is cooler than 99.99% of road bicyclists.

Eurodude said...

@ Lumpen Fredetariat

I suppose you saw this:

http://hasebikes.com/index.php?article_id=95&clang=1


Anonymous MTBer said...

The only good thing about this "bottlebag" is that you got it for free.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Dear Illiterati: It is "pop a wheelie," not "do a pop a wheelie," which is, of course, redundant.

Is English your first language?

wishiwasmerckx said...

p.s.: gone out of internet range for an entire week last week. Surprised to see that I commented only once during my absence.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Man found dead at home of Olivia Newton-John?

Snobbie, are you ok?

Roille Figners said...

Simply fill the bottle, twist the special bottle cap onto the bottle, connect the hoses to the special bottle cap, tuck the bottle and hoses into the backpack, put the backpack on your back, put the hose in your mouth, and suck. It's like drinking from a bottle, only with more stuff!

iwasagringo said...

I left a powdery *poof* in my chamois pad.

The dusty remnants wafted into my nose, like ancient fecal-dust.

ChamoisJuice said...

WIWM,

When did you move to NY? I grew up in NY, and the #1 thing hoodrats holla at you on a bike is "DO A POPPA WHEELIE!"
It is truly bizarre to me that this is the first time you have heard this phrase. I suppose it makes sense if you moved to NY as an adult, only ride bicycles in spando, and generally sequester yourself in gentrified neighborhoods.

There really is no better way to elicit anger and disgust from the general public than to wear a leotard and ballerina shoes in public as a grown man.

Everyone hates roadies, and authentic NY black people are no exception to that.

I guess the only commentary you get from the peanut gallery is mocking laughter, homophobic insults, and the old "yo, lemme try your bike for a second".

One of the great things about bicycles is how they tie you to your youth, and that crosses all socio-economic and cultural boundaries. Find me impoverished culture that doesn't get a kick out of wheelies. THERE IS NONE. Compare this to the demographics that take bicycle riding ENTIRELY too seriously = roadies, what you got? Anal retentive white folk.

OHH SHIT! Look at the white boy! You need to be in them DMX videos. Rough ridaz!

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

@Eurodude, thanks, that is pretty much what it looked like, as far as I could tell, given there were a couple of guys on top of it.

McFly said...

I farted in church Sunday morning and 4 people in front of me turned around.

I felt like I was on "The Voice".

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, so at least you are willing to concede that "Do a pop a wheelie" is actually Ebonics.

Just like with the Jew-baiting and other inappropriate cultural misappropriations in which you so frequently engage, someone with a more developed sense of propriety would simply shut the fuck up.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Oh, and my well-developed sense of propriety also forbids me from grocery shopping, cafe-sitting, and similar non-bike riding activities whilst clad in spandex, although I must say that for a fellow of my advancing age, I still look pretty good in spandex.

Vegas said...

Nice Olde Timey bikes.

I have to agree with others on the pack: getting rid of the bladder for a pack don't make no sense. First, you can't carry lots of water, which is the biggest point of a pack. If I go on a ride that I need less than 70oz, then bottles, a seatbag, and jersey pockets are fine. Next, how is 2 hoses, a manifold, 2 adapters and some water bottles easier to clean than 1 hose and 1 bladder (that I can turn inside out)? Hydrapak Reversible Elite Reservoir
Also, using disposable bottles instead of a reusable bladder ain't great.

Finally, I have used dromedarybaks and Hydrapaks
for years and never had a drink nipple come off like that, much less during the first ride. Hopefully that's a Snob issue not a design flaw.

iwasapoopstain said...

Last comment sucka mc, go Suck an enema tube. Yum yum.

RoadQueen said...

McFly, next time one slips out, get your wife in on it. Think of the possibilities...

McFly: *PFFFFT*

Wife: "What'd that asshole say?"

McFly: "Nothin'...Just talkin' shit."

Anonymous said...

"No helmet, flip flops and a kid attached to her nipple, sure glad she's wearing a crucifix."

----------------------------------

I live in Europe and see stuff like this all the time (sans the breast feeding). I see no problems at all with riding 15 mph in flip flops and no helmet.

Most of the population rides this way and seem to go on living.

McFly said...

Anon 6:26, I have no problem with it even including the breast-feeding.

But I admittedly do have a propensity for boobies of all manner. Especially Big-Ass Incognito kinds.

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ChamoisJuice said...

How To: Do A Poppa Wheelie
Wiwm, you don't know what the fuck you are talking about.

Also, propriety does not mean "stick up your ass"

wishiwasmerckx said...

You are right because you found a 9 year old Appalachian boy who agrees with you?

"Do" and "pop" are redundant.

Also, as we have requested before, leave your lovers out of the comment board, Mr. NAMBLA.

ChamoisJuice said...

goddamn, you are thick.

I prefer "DO A POPPA WHEELIE" because it is gramatically redundant. It sounds funnier that way. Grammatical rules are pretty arbitrarary and constantly evolving.

I am also amused by the phrase "such a deal for you at twice the price".

I AM AMUSED BY PEOPLE THAT TALK FUNNY! IS THAT SO WRONG?!?!?!?

Ps. 21 is adult is any and all cultures. Yes, I broke the propriety rule of half your age plus seven, but she is certainly a consenting adult.

I have talked briefly about the Kinsey scale of sexuality, with 1 being attracted exclusively to men, 10 exclusively to women, and most falling somewhere in the grey. And that our society is tolerant of women experimenting with their sexuality, but if you put one dick in your mouth, you are a fag for the rest of your life.

wishiwasmerckx said...

By G-d, you are thick as a brick. I was talking about the 9 year old Appalachian boy, not your made-up 21 year old.

w said...

And while we are at it, 100th!

ChamoisJuice said...

Dood, you keep projecting your insecurities onto me. Of course your insult is gay pederast.

You are more prejudiced than I am.

You have more hang ups about homosexuality than I do.

Your whole worldview is contradictory and hypocritical.

I have a better vocabulary than you do.

I am better at wheelies and satisfying women's primal urges than you are.


Anonymous said...

wiwm is kinda douchy and McFly is kinda creepy...just sayin'.

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his bicycle was spotted by a reader in Saratoga Springs, and it gives new meaning to the term "saddlebag:"WOW Gold Kaufen Billig
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