Things! Stuff! Other Things!

First of all, this song just changed my life:


Let's hear it for him.

Secondly, now that my life has been changed, I think I'll leave all my troubles behind and just fuck off for awhile and check out some farms:

 

I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but I gather they like both "farmeen" and "bikeen" and so they're going to do some "bikeen," and watch some people do some "farmeen."  That's cool.  I can dig it.  For this they want $1,500 though, and while wish them nothing but the best, I also have to wonder: "Why the penny ante?"  Seems like if you're going to go through all the trouble of passing the virtual hat, why not just ask for $15,000, or $150,000, or a cool million for that matter?  Do you really need to "crowdsource" $1,500 for a vacation?  Seems like you could just save that up after a few weeks of working at Starbucks.

But what do I know?  Not only am I old, but I'm incredibly wealthy--so wealthy I'm in the market for a new bicycle, preferably one with a five-figure price tag.  But what to get?  Fortunately, a reader has forwarded me this article, which contains a number of appealing choices:

Through the decades, automobiles and two-wheel (or one-wheel) conveyances lacking motors have coexisted, usually peacefully. And today’s racecars and racing bikes have some technology, engineering and style in common. So it’s perhaps not surprising that some of the most advanced premium bicycles are designed by, or sold by, automobile companies.

Wait, what?  Cars and bikes are coexisting peacefully?  Do you read your own paper?  And what the hell does a racecar have in common with a racing bike apart from absolutely nothing whatsoever?  Still, they did nail it with regard to the typical car-branded road bike customer:

“At the higher end of the cycling market, cyclists tend to be car people — and watch people,” Mr. Lambiase said. “There’s appreciation of what I call art in motion: a psychological connection among cars and bikes and performance — beautiful and precise machinery.”

Translation: they're douchebags.

Furthermore, they're an incredibly specific type of douchebag:

For the right buyers, usually the affluent, Mr. Lambiase says, “it’s the aesthetic details, the paint job, the leather on the saddle, which makes them special.” He added, “They take these bikes seriously, and if they have the passion for the auto brand, they buy them.”

So in other words, these car companies are tapping the teeny, tiny douchebag cycling market that is willing to spend a gazillion dollars on a bike yet somehow still has no idea of the existence of the absurdly pretentious and expensive world of custom bicycles.  So instead, they're actually buying crappy rebranded BMCs with suede handlebars:

LAMBORGHINI The Impec Lamborghini 50th Anniversary Edition, built by the Swiss company BMC, costs about $32,000. Incredibly sexy, the bike is loaded with carbon-fiber components and suede-covered handlebars and saddle. Only 50 will be offered on a build-to-order basis.

Nice.  That'll look great on the ol' trunk rack:

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Times, a commenter pointed out yesterday that they've actually printed a letter from the dumbest person in New York City:

The density and vertical nature of our city mean that hundreds of cyclists could live, and park, on a single block, leaving neighborhoods with all the charm of a junkyard.

Cycling should be neither deterred nor promoted, but certainly not singled out as a privileged mode of conveyance whose operators enjoy segregated lanes, free parking and exemption from the licensing, insurance and safety precautions (like helmets) required for other two-wheeled vehicles such as motorcycles.

The Times calls this an "invitation to a dialogue," which is a pretentious way of saying they're "trolling."  They want replies by today, and I'd submit one myself, but there's no way I could without using the words "fucking idiot" repeatedly.  See, I don't believe fucking idiots deserve to be engaged in a dialogue.  At best, they deserve to be shouted at and insulted.  Do we engage racists and child molesters in dialogues?  No.  Granted, bike-haters are not nearly as bad as racists or pedophiles (though I'm sure at least some of them are all three), but they're all completely baseless.  So why do we have to have a "dialogue" with Gary Taustine, a complete fucking idiot whose name sounds like an off-brand steak sauce you'd buy in C-Town?  Hey Gary, I got your "dialogue" right here:

By the way, I'm pretty sure that's Alberto Contador.

Really, though, do we actually have to point out to Gary "Fucking Idiot" Taustine that his nightmare of streets-turned-junkyards already exists, since our city's streets are absolutely filled with piece-of-shit cars, most of which are parked for free and are the size of a typical Manhattan studio apartment?  And I'm not being smug either, because I own one of those piece-of-shit cars, and I can assure you it's a total eyesore.  It begrimes the fuck out of my neighborhood.  You know when you park your car in a lot and they mark down all the dents and scratches on your ticket so you don't try to blame them for the damage later?  Well, it takes them about 45 minutes do mine.

But that's not the point.  The point is that I hope Gary Taustine sustains a painful injury in the course of attempting to blow himself.

So let's hear it for Gary:

Moving on, awhile back I claimed you can't contract a urinary tract infection from a bike share bike, but another reader informs me that I may be wrong on that one:

Eeew.  He put his "dialogue" all over that seat!  Also, his bike fit is also totally incorrect--at least in the 19th century, as forwarded by still another reader:

See, this is totally wrong:

And what you want is to replicate the position you had on your old pennyfarthing before you upgraded to the safety bike:

See?  He's sitting bolt-upright with his hands right by his "dialogue."

Perfect.

Lastly, for the two people who read this blog and care about matters of bike tech, you may recall I had some issues with a Praxis PF30 adapter.  Well, as it happens, Praxis recently informed me they've addressed these issues with a redesign and have sent me a replacement.  Here it is:

Oh, sorry, here it is:

I should point out they don't know I'm a bike blogger (or at least I certainly never told them), so it's good to see they follow up with their customers.  I should also point out that I haven't installed this since in the interim I put one of those Sram ones in there and it's working fine, so I have no idea if they've actually fixed the problem.  Still, if you're plagued with this accursed PF30 system, then perhaps this is news you can use.

You're welcome.