Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Don't have a cow, man.

Firstly, further to yesterday's (second) post, a commenter said this:

fresquinho said...

"At times, [he] is brilliant, as in his famous bike lane video. Other times, he's kinda douchey"
-- bikesnobnyc, on Casey Neistat.

My thought about this post. What's with the cow dissing?

June 18, 2013 at 8:10 AM 

Did someone really just try to call me out for "dissing" a cow?

I think they did.

Well, not only do I have no regrets about "dissing" that cow, but I also have no problem doing it again. Hey, cow, what do you have to say to this?


Nothing, that's what.

Because you're a cow.

Secondly, further to yesterday's (first) post, let's geek out a little bit.

Here's the original "PressFit 30" to BSA adapter I had in my Fredcycle:




It's a SRAM or a Truvativ or something.  It was working fine, but even so I had replaced it with this because it said "Well that's smart!"

It may be smart but the crank kept wiggle-waggling in there even after troubleshooting with them over the phone.  So after posting yesterday, even though I had more important things to do, I re-replaced it with one of these:


I also moved the compact crank from my plastic bike to this bike.  I installed the compact crank on my plastic bike shortly before the Rapha Gentlemen's Race, and not only was I glad I did, but I am now a compact convert forever.  I used not to like compact cranks, but then two things happened: 1) It used to take me 20 miles of flat riding before I got to the hills and now I live in the hills; and B) I got older and smarter and slower.  They say your body renews itself every seven years.  I don't think that's actually true, but if it is, the person who used to ride around on a 39/23 disappeared about two bodies ago.

Anyway, once everything was done I took the Fredcycle out for a short ride:


The wiggle-waggle is gone and the bike seems to be happy again, but time will tell.  I have decided that I do not like the PressFit 30 at all, though if this particular configuration continues to be satisfactory I will simply suffer the occasional out-knocking and in-pressing of extraneous plastic hunks and continue to enjoy my Fredcycle as long as I possibly can.  Mostly, I just want to be able to retire my old plastic bike once and for all, because the person willing to ride around on a bike that can't fall gently without having to be inspected by a dealer disappeared about a body ago.

Speaking of Casey Neistat (I sort of was earlier in an oblique way), he made a new video and it's a good one:



Though if his own bike is so uncomfortable I'm not sure why he doesn't just change it.

Also, I'm not sure if it's fair to dismiss the New York City subway system by saying, "Generally I don't like being underground."

Really though, I'm just being douchey (remember, I'm the kind of douche who "disses" cows--stupid, fat, dumb, delicious cows) and I liked the video--though not nearly as much as this Daily News story:


But only because the Daily News intern is totally wearing her helment backwards:


This picture tells you pretty much everything you need to know about America, where we can't even get the illusion of safety right.

I'm surprised we actually manage to point our guns away from ourselves as often as we do.  In fact, we're probably better at shooting each other in America than we are at waving at each other:

I mostly mention this article because I'm quoted in it and I'm obsessed with myself, though I should add that even though I'm "pro waving" in the most general sort of way, I don't understand this feeling people have that they're entitled to receiving one.  I mean, sure, if I'm putzing along in the countryside and it's a nice day and my bottom bracket isn't pissing me off and I see someone on a bike coming the other way and I'm in a good mood and they're not a triathlete I'll probably wave to them.  And sure, on the rare occasions I actually pass someone I always wave, because Freds are idiots and if you don't do that they think you're trying to race them and you wind up with a wheelsucker for 15 miles.

But what about those head-clearing rides?  You know, the ones when straining up that climb is the only thing keeping you from committing mass murder?

Come on, you know how it goes.  It's a shitty morning.  You got laid off yesterday.  Your husband, wife, or life partner is angry at you.  There's no toilet paper in the house.  Your child just kicked you in the nuts or the vulva, depending on how you're equipped.  The cat's scratching the arm of the sofa, because cats suck.  The dog's just being a fucking idiot, because dogs suck more.  So you go for a ride. It's the only thing you have left in the world.  It's just you, your bike, the scenery, and your thoughts.

Then some Fred going the other way has the temerity to be annoyed because you didn't wave to him?

He's lucky you didn't kill him!

But yeah, I generally wave, unless I don't feel like it, in which case I generally don't.

As for the cows, you can be sure I always give them the finger.

149 comments:

babble on said...

Oh man! I don't have a cow!

petrus said...

Tops.

babble on said...

Kisses!!! Where are my kisses?

ChamoisJuice said...

Boomshakalaka

babble on said...

I'd rather have kisses than cows, any day!

Anonymous said...

TOPP TNNN

RoadQueen said...

Damn, missed podium.

constrained lastri

RoadQueen said...

Hey nice double podio snag, Babble!

babble on said...

Cheers, Bella! Are you giving out the kisses today? :)

Comment deleted said...

Good mooooooooorning!

babble on said...

So at least four bodies ago I was a cowboy (OK, cowgirl, but what a lame job title that is!) for a summer. OMG they are the dumbest animal on the planet. Ever. Absolutely NO BRAINS in there whatsoever. They shit on their babies. And in their drinking water.

The best cow is the one on your plate. Or under your vulvanus.

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

Where did my comment just go? I was offering to be the 'podium girl' for Babs, especially if she was going to 'do a Sagan'.

RoadQueen said...

I lovingly refer to cattle as "Hamburger On The Hoof". Anyone who has spent more than 30 seconds around a bovine being, understands.

Yes, they shit on their young. And in their drinking water. An in their food dishes. And on people.

They also stick their (massively long) tongues up their nostrils to lick the INSIDE of their noses, and then lick their own eyeballs.

Disgusting creatures...but OH SO TASTY!

cyclotourist said...

Podium domination!

BABB LEON

Yarpo said...

Top Twenny Twatwaffle Scranus Vulvanus!!!!

Kisses on each cheek to Babble, then I hand you the big-ass bouquet of flowers, then a trophy/commemorative plate/strange-but-possibly-awesome-piece-of decorative-art/gold medal, then I turn and smile while the photographers snap away. Then the Canodian Nertionul Anthumb is played and you get all teary-eyed.

Bellissima!

Petrus: a kind handshake.

babble on said...

Perfect!! Thank you! And for future reference, yes, I can so Sagan. Mmmmm, cheeky cheeky bum bum.

Marcel Da Chump said...

"You're a cow
Give me some milk
Or else go home"

cyclotourist said...

FRED WAVE

Astroluc said...

Cow Diss-

Berated Bovine,
Holstein Humbug,
Steer Jeer,
Taurus Taunt,

...I could go on.

RoadQueen said...

Look like Yarpo pushed me off the stage and took both cheek kisses for himself. *pout*

Greedy bastard...

Flyover Bike commuter said...

Maybe the intern is trying for the illusion of aerodynamic?

Anyway, out here in flyover country men wave at each by cooly lifting one index finger off of the handlebar or steering wheel, whichever applies. It's almost like a fraternity's secret sign.

If you use the middle finger, you're out of the club.

paulb said...

Still, that's one pretty cow in yesterday's video. Not like the one in that old Bewitched episode, but still, a looker.

McFly said...

Sometimes people think I am waving and all I am simply doing is trying to get a booger off my finger.

DB said...

Oh, man, Snob. You are so going to hear from Leroy's dog.
Congrats, Babs!

The Monkey Handler said...

Somebody spilled Babble all over the top-ten.

mikeweb said...


OK, first things first. After hearing "my commute from my apartment in Greenwich Village to my job in TriBeCa" and I already want to punch that guy in the face. That's not a commute, that's what we call a 15 minute walk.

Now, ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY BABBLE!!

DB said...

Flyover Bike commuter:
That would be the "country courtesy" wave. We do that here, too.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Where's the Beef

paulb said...

Casey. Neistat. Drop. Dead. Please.

Yarpo said...

Daily News Intern is a Lemon Drop Head, a Lemon Drop Head, a Lemon Drop Head! Ha-Haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Road Queen: okay, the next time she wins, you get to do the honors, or honours if you're Canadianese.

I am a greedy bastard though, I will admit.

Sunny and cool here in Oaklandia, time for a morning ride, after a morning constitutional, fully rest-ring-compliant, 'cuz the coffee is doing it's stuff!

I'll check my bar tape to see how it's wrapped, so I'll know whether or not I'm validated as a bicycle enthusisast...NOT!

RoadQueen said...

Yarpo: All I want is one cheek. You can have the other three. All I want is one, damnit.

Bavis Trickle said...

"Are you waving at me? Are you waving at ME!?"

McFly said...

Am I crazy or does Inverted Helmeant Girl have Incognito Big-Ass Knockers?

It is Titty Tuesday.

mikeweb said...

I only wave at people who look like they're enjoying themselves. And all people who are female.

Anonymous said...

WCRM

Now your dissing cats (OK with me) and dogs even more (Leroy is not going to like this).

I have to agree with your opinion on compacts though. 15%+ grade and it is 34x25 for this Fred.

The photo of your bike does not allow for a proper examination of the bar tape though.

mikeweb said...

As luck would have it, tonight I'll be re-wrapping the bars on my Fred chariot after swapping in the new stem last night.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Anyone...?

(I don't really want any fucking suggestions, btw, unless they involve fucking)

ken e. said...

word to that. cat 1 grumpy pusses and everyone else with the serious attitudinal leanings, suck it.

(that's you CJ)

babble on said...

Spilled and messy all over the top ten, and pedalling my ass on the way to Car-Free day, too!

Comment deleted said...

I go with Mikeweb's criteria for waving. Snob, I don't think your explanation, as cogent as it is, can account for all the scowling roadies out there.

UCD cycling team members: almost always wave back. Plus, they are in the best shape of anyone on our roads.

Guys wearing team-replica jerseys: never wave back. Douchebags.


expostsu 1654 (that's some vintage posting!)

Comment deleted said...

Babs, you are looking fine, fine, fine these days, especially in that sun dress.

If some Vancouverite dude hasn't snapped you up yet, I'll need to have a serious talk with my northern brothers.


akoseco celebration! Woo hoo!

Waving lunatic said...

I wave at everyone except the Brazen Dropout assholes (around my area) who never wave back.

I wave at even riders on 'bents (who seem confused by the fact that a roadie Fred is waving at them...)

We are ALL GOING TO BE DEAD in 100 years! Some of us many less years.

Give it up important ones, you too won't matter at all soon enough.

him ucoffi

Anonymous said...

Waiving is stupid. do you waive at every person you walk past on the street (as per bsnyc)? No, not unless you live in some remote place where you are just happy to see another human being. Take a ride over the GWB any given weekend day and you'll pass no less than 100 cyclist. Are you supposed to waive at each of them and expect the same? Also, just because you're both on a bike it doesn't mean you are part of some special brotherhood. You're out on a friggin bike ride ride, it's not like you're taking a hill in 'Nam. If you're a city dweller, riding your bike is a good way to get away for some rare solitude (unless you're one of those dorks who belong to a bike club and all ride together in matching outfits - what the fuck is up with that anyway) so there is not fucking way I feel any need to be even remotely sociable, especially with other annoying bike dorks. Also, I'm a misanthrope and only enjoy the company of strangers when I've had enough to drink.

Roille Figners said...

Cows are bred by humans to be what they are. Docility and stupidity are intentionally selected traits desirable for cow management. You think a bunch of smart, no-shit-taking, noble and fiercely independent 1,200-pound animals would be an easy thing to try and manage, much less slaughter en masse?

Humans are bred by humans to be what they are. Docility and stupidity are intentionally selected traits desirable for human management. You think a bunch of smart, no-shit-taking, noble and fiercely independent homo sapiens would be an easy thing to try and manage, much less slaughter en masse? Hey that was fun.

Suddenly I'm aware everything we think about cows is really about us. I bet wild cows and wild humans were both badasses before the civilizing process turned us all into weak pussy-faggots. And eating a cow probably inspired a lot less guilt, because first of all you were hungry as fuck, and secondly at least you'd feel like you had won a fair fight and killed that muh-fugga.

Al said...

they were real good at pointing their guns last weekend in chi-town, the most gun 'safe' city in the world (next to nyc that is).

The Commentariat said...

Babble in our dreamscape you are riding around without any panties yerning to be sexually serviced because you have not had any since the break-up. We also realize this is a farce.

Anonymous said...

I stopped the video when he said 1.3 mile commute, are you fucking serious, it what world is it a pain in the ass to only live a mile and change from work.

Anonymous said...

so what's the cost benefit ratio when you installed the compact crank before the rapha dork race?
something like $85.00 per placing after wiener?

janinedm said...

During the winter, when there's fewer of us out there and often much stronger winds, I will wave while battling though headwinds and encourage when I have the tailwind. When people who have the headwind don't wave back, I completely get it. But when people have a 15 mph wind behind them and can't even smile, they become my permanent, temporary enemy.

ChamoisJuice said...

Anon 1:04 Well put. I, too don't like most people.

Just because we both ride bikes, doesn't mean we are friends.


I am really tired today, running on 3 hours sleep. I don't know what is wrong with me. I have no control over my impulses. Hooked up with a 21 year old. God, she is lovely, and somehow has not caught on to how hot she is, and the power she could wield over men.
She is sooo innocent. She really like Harry Potter... I feel pretty guilty, but I trying to follow the campsite rule abap.

I don't what the fuck I'm doing, as this obviously won't work long term, and I was really excited about the artist girl who is closer to my age, and infidelity within the first week is not the best plan of attack.

STUPID TESTOSTERONE

Anonymous said...

That self-important cultural commentator in the twee video should try walking. Why is nyc home to so many assholes like this?

Comment deleted said...

It's a good thing you loathe yourself, CJ. It saves us the trouble.

Anonymous said...

The intern's helmet is facing the right way– she sits on the bike backwards.

Anonymous said...

YO CJ does she know she has herpes yet?

just_say_know said...

Big Joe Williams has a great song about the wild cows. Rock and roll circa 1945.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjHatOXGTOg

Robot stack failure.

Etherhuffer said...

Having gotten hearty 'Bon Jour's' in France, waves in North Dakota, and various other greetings, Why not make the world a little warmer and fuzzier? No rules, just go with the flow. Finger waves, however, bring my annual physical to mind and too much scranus violation.

BikeSnobNYC said...

ChamoisJuice,

You suck.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Fingering a cow is simply a disgusting act and you should be ashamed of yourself .

mikeweb said...

anon 1:21 wins the Internet today with that comment.

Dooth said...

Wildcat, if our cycling paths ever cross, I'll give you the old hand-under-the-chin-jiggle fingers wave.

Nate said...

People on bikes will stop stupidly waving to one another once biking for transportation becomes truly mainstream. Until then (30-50 years from now in most of the U.S.), I'll have to keep pretending that I give a crap about the other guy riding his bike to work.

babble on said...

cj- WTF? Sorry, you can't blame it on testosterone - mane and women have nearly the same levels of it in their blood, only men don't have that nasty mind-fucking estrogen floating around. No. It's you and your lack of self control at fault.

Yes, you should feel like a predator for taking advantage of a young woman-child like that, and a complete douche-bag for bragging about it on the internet. I've been tempted by more than one young man-child in the last month or so, but ewwwwww... I already have children, I don't need to screw them, too.

@rural_14 said...

Rural 1st!

Try some Scottish Longhorn cattle just for ha ha s, and you will see that continued breeding toward stoopid is a good thing. Them Scot Longhorns, well they're tasty alright, but far more intelligent than your average bear / Rob Fords / or even Casey Neistats. Smart as all get out; they can use a BB press. Very beefy. And yes, I do mail order / comes frozen to yr door - or delivered in NYC. Special for all readers of this blog!

Anonymous said...

I come from the land frumunda. Though it is not true, I've been singing it since yesterday's post.


deacon resirub, eh? I bet he does.

Etherhuffer said...

Yeah, and the hair on the Scottsh Longhorn scranuses is nasty too.

Fritz said...

Time for a new fear

Fear the Bike Bomber

leroy said...

My dog wishes to point out that "The time to live is now, you could be riding on a big fat cow."

He's a Buzzy Linhart fan and can't imagine why Brooks didn't go with his advice to market its new saddle with Mr. Linhart's song.

I told him it's more polite to wave than point.

dnk said...

anonymous @1:04

I was in 'Nam. And I can tell you we never waved at one another when taking a hill. I believe that is in the Tactical Manual: no waving or grabass when taking the hill; when taking the hill, just take the hill.

I am speaking hypothetically of course about the being in 'Nam part. I was never there. But I have seen the movies.

Chamois Juice said...

This one time at band camp...

Chamois Juice said...

Dear Penthouse Forum...

What's for Dinner said...

Beef Stroganoff

Anonymous said...

When you say Bad-ass bovine you are referring to what is known in flyover country (meaning the nice parts of the world) as

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_bison

F##kers will walk right through a barbed wire fence without noticing.

McFly said...

On Fadders Day as I was sluggin my way up a hot and nasty climb I looked over to see some cows belly deep in a cool pond. So I have to say they were much smarter than me at that juncture.

RoadQueen said...

McFly:

They had probably already pissed and shit in the water that they were belly deep in.

Who's smarter now? You, my friend, you.

CommieCanuck said...

oh shit..cyclists waving? That's the whole reason why I sold my motorcycle: first it's the waving, them it's the riding in packs, then it's the Gay S&M leather chaps and handlebar moustaches.
Don't do it, don't be a fag.

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mikeweb said...

RoadQueen,

Then there's always this. Not exactly sure who's smarter than whom yet...

Anonymous said...

I could not watch the entire sizzling steak video because I'm watching some paint dry.

Anonymous said...

I was renting a share bike of the B-Cycle variety and could not get a flashing green "release light" and discovered that the bike had not been completely "re-docked" by the previous renter.

BackwardsHelmentDay said...

Saw a guy riding through my neighborhood with his helment accidentally on backwards.

Either that or he wanted easy access to size adjusting knob and was using the visor to shield his neck from the sun.

McFly said...

CLICKITY-CLACK MOO COWS THAT TYPE is a children's book that also makes a pretty strong arguement for the bovine's ability to reason and problem solve. It's an excellent read and I highly recommend it. Seriously.

ChamoisJuice said...

Babble, I'd say predatory is going a bit far... she had been giving off fuck me eyes since I first met her months ago. She just broke up with her DB boyfriend who treated her like shit. I am not deluding myself that I am anything more than a rebound experiment.

I am trying to make her feel beautiful and confident... We do have insanely good chemistry, and she has never been with a man who has a clue how to treat a woman. I am pretty worried she is going to fall for me... girls usually do. I think I am too sweet?

I had been on self imposed celibacy the last year or so... last week I have lost the edge.


Bill Smith said...

Nice post today, Bike Snob. Thanks for writing the blog.

crosspalms said...

I'm more of a nodder than a waver. But I say hi to the people I see every day.

Al, That's the NRA's "Arm the Ghetto" program, which has been hugely successful here. Guns for everybody (two for anyone under 21), and ammo in every Happy Meal. Wayne LaPierre says the plan is for all the young people to have killed each other within a few years, and then he can finally get a good spot at Lollapalooza.

BamaPhred said...

The waving thing... Yes I do wave, some one finger lifts off the handlebars or steering wheel, sort of like the tip of the hat thing, a hand wave thanking the driver who actually didn't try to play "beat the cyclist" to whatever, a thank you, etc. The rules for waving in this corner of the world are lengthy and complex. Big cities, sort of like herding bovines, too many people to wave, unless to an associate, perhaps. I wouldn't know, just an observation. Elmer Fudd would say Wave on, lets get Dixie Fwied!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

More cow bell.

Roille Figners said...

Yeah, I would say waving, like badass humans and Wylde Kowz (new Bill & Ted band), is a holdover from older times when the population was way less, and humans running into each other in the countryside was a comparatively more rare occurrence, such that merely encountering another human was cause for acknowledging each other. Today the place is fuggin crawling with them so it's like "Oh look, another goddamn resource-usin', waste-generatin', in-my-way, in-line-in-front-of-me human-fuckin-being.

Anonymous said...

Viewer Discretion Is Advised

Dennis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

YO CJ stay away from those children's books I would not want you getting a hard on while you are reading.

RoadQueen said...

mikeweb:

Yeah, that's nasty. Obviously, people who bask in public bodies of water with children under 20 years old (that's not a set-in-stone number)are deluding themselves if they think they're NOT swimming in piss, shit and puke.

I personally don't soak in public swimming holes. You'd be lucky to see me in a private one, for that matter.

What?? I don't know where you been... :D

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

CJ - Given that you're a total cocksnot, I highly doubt you have "a clue how to treat a woman" and I highly doubt that girls usually fall for you. You're a complete asshole. Everybody hates you.

tizolid hours

Dennis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
crosspalms said...

Mikeweb,
Something like this maybe?

and how much tape would you need for that? At least
nergival carloads.

crosspalms said...

link fail

try again

Lumpen Fredetariat said...

As the one up there says, CJ, when you write "I am trying to make her feel beautiful and confident... We do have insanely good chemistry, and she has never been with a man who has a clue how to treat a woman", it would appear that she still has not been with a man who knows how to treat a woman. You are going to dump her sooner or later, feeling guilty about taking advantage of her youth, if you have a shred of decency in you, or because her younger sister showed up. Then she won't be feeling so confident and beautiful, will she?
Part of being a grown-up is that you get to notice having fantastic chemistry with all kinds of hot people without following up on the urge to get them into bed. This is what separates us from some of our animal friends, on a good day.

Anonymous said...

CJ,

Nice work on nailing the 21 year old. Once in a while one falls into your lap and you owe it to yourself to take advantage of the situation as it doesn't happen very often.

Comment deleted said...

Sure, sure, anon.

But it comes back around when you treat human beings like playthings.

Anonymous said...

FLYING BIKE! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TtylFugOT_4

mikeweb said...

crosspalms,

I wouldn't know where to begin with that. At the bar ends, I suppose...

Comment deleted said...

C

Anonymous said...

I always make sure to wave at David Byrne on the west side bike path.

ChamoisJuice said...

Crosspalms. You start at the bottom. The lever area is tricky.... buddy in that photo did a hideous job of it. Also, his diamonds twist. A clean job keeps them running straight.

You use 2 rolls of bar tape. You end up with about a quarter left over.

------------------
I had an experience with an older woman, I was 19 she was 32, that helped me out soooo much sexually. I had all these hangups about being too skinny and my schmeckle not being porn star sized. She helped me feel comfortable with myself and was a huge confidence boost, besides giving me lots of direction on what she liked. I always knew the relationship was temporary, and that we were having fun.

Trying to pay it forward.

campbell fdy said...

in the country side of NE poland, people dont wave. they dont even look at you as you pass. some people do but most don't at first it was amusing, over time i couldnt help but feel a little annoyed. it was explained to me that the people in the region learned through hard experience that strangers brought trouble they were just being smart
ill give a middle finger wave to casey neistat and his washington mews apt and 1.3 mile commute its even shorter than david bynes

Anonymous said...

that guy lives either on Mcdogal alley, or washington mews, I want to punch him in the face too.

Anonymous said...

Yesterday you refer to Casey Lastat as brilliant. Today you draw our attention to 6 minutes of this asshole's "good" video on the bike share program. What gives? I can only assume that there's a conflict with one of your mutual sponsors and, as a result, you're no longer allowed to eviscerate this douche's process-based "performance art" videos he farts out at an alarmingly regular basis. Or do you two share the same publicist now? Whatever the reason might be, you've officially lost your way. Please cancel my subscription.

Blog Drafter said...

CJ is intelligent, but his pattern indicates...one dimensional thinking.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CJ, one man's diamond twist is another man's pretentious affectation.

That's just trying too hard. A bike is supposed to be a simple machine where form follows function.

Chamois Juice said...

I had sex with my high school teacher all the time, which sounds pretty cool until you realize that I was home-schooled.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Chamois Juice:

Assertions about one's attractiveness should be delivered ironically or not at all.

For future reference, this is how it's done.

I agree with Babble. You're a dolt. (But the fake CJ is pretty funny.)

ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot said...

Leroy -

How can you tell the fake CJ from the real CJ? They're both stupid motherfuckers.

Sincerely,
ChamoisJuiceIsAFookinIdiot

ncykfar condition

Swza said...

Meat eaters smell like shit. I hope your heart explodes

Swza said...

Road Queen, you are a liar and a stupid cunt.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Smell like shit?

The Japanese all say we Americans smell like butter. They even have a word of derision for it: bata kusai.


Oh, and CJ is full of my captcha: ongypine malachy.

Flyover Bike Commuter said...

Dennis,

let me splain it to you. Neistat's videos are 'bout New Yorkers for New Yorkers.

In their world, 1.3 miles is way far away, and 5.6 mph is high-speed transit.

It also explains the fixie fad. Can you imagine a hipster pedaling a fixie into a relentless 15 mph headwind, or up hill for 8-10 miles? I'd like to see a video of that.

Anyway as you can see, New York is the greatest place in the world and, apparently, a monumental pain in the ass, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Snob's Rabbi said...

Isn't ongypine malachy the brucha you say after being visited by misfortune?

Chamois Juice said...

I taught her how to squirt...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 5:41pm,

His bike lane video is indeed brilliant.

Many of his other output gives me douche chills.

I liked this video because I like bike share. Yes, his teeny commute is silly, but he lives in Manhattan and when you live in Manhattan you get a skewed sense of distance (and pretty much everything else).

Nice knowing you, let us know where you wind up.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

Waving? No, not unless it's someone I know. A nod of acknowledgement, whether on pedally or motorised bicycle, generally suffices.

...apart from twats on Harleys that refuse to accept that other manufacturers exist......fuds that they are.

hey nonny mouse

Onespeed said...

When it comes to waving I usually waive.

RoadQueen said...

Swza said...
Road Queen, you are a liar and a stupid cunt.

June 18, 2013 at 6:52 PM

HEY, DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?! I got my first hate comment!

Does this mean that I'm officially part of the cool kid's club?!

pleasesayyespleasesayyes...

Anonymous said...

slaveholders always disparate the intelegence of their chattels...it allows them to live with themselves.

Grump said...

Snobby, when I'm in a "not so nice" mood, I'll often wave at wave crazy Freds.....I just won't use my entire hand.
.
.

McFly said...

BIKESNOB ABROAD is awesome. I have been trouble sleeping the past few weeks and the last two nights after 1/4 to 1/3 of a page it's lights out.

You rock Wildczzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Is bakefiets Dutch for bicycle wheelbarrow with a dork and human child on it?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Re: Citibike video:

14 minutes to go 1.3 miles by taxi? At a brisk walk, should be able to walk it in the same amt of time, and save $11.30 in the process.

Besides, didn't tip the cabbie. Cheapskate.

Took over 9 mins to ride 1.3 miles on his fixie? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Even in heavy traffic, that's pathetic!

wishiwasmerckx said...

On the waving issue, as in many major metropolitan areas, there is one particular out and back route which is constantly busy on Sat and Sun a.m., and waving seems to be the standard.

I will nod back, but I do not take my hand off the bars because I always try to ride at pace, and you could hit an unseen rock or pavement defect which would be nothing with two hands on the bar, but could put you in a spot of bother riding one-handed.

I recognize that this makes me a prick, but you already knew that...just ask CJ.

Bike Tinker said...

I was wondering where "just walk" fit into the PIA index. Right about 0, I think. Negligible time difference, totally free, no stolen shoes twice a year, no "trying to find my work, and end up chasing a building for half a block..."

Anonymous said...

"We will fight for bovine freedom"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhWfSeMYHA

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RoadQueen said...

Oh yeah, the waving thing. Since I'm just chalk full of sunshine, rainbows and puppy dog kisses, I generally wave with my entire hand, shoot them and big smile, AND nod my head.

I also say, "Hi!".

So, yeah. I pretty much fart rainbows and poop butterflies when I'm out riding, because I Like. It. So. Much.!!!

Anonymous said...

I have only seen a rainbow come out of one hole down there. It also rained skittles.

Anonymous said...

Road Queen, That's "chock" full, not chalk full.

You're not only a cunt but an idiot.

DoNotReact said...

Casey Neistat's criteria are bogus. First, his commute is not long enough for the results to be significant. He could jog to work in ten minutes. Second, the mish-mash math he uses for his "uncomfortable" fixie makes no sense. Stolen every 18 months? Where/how is he locking this thing? I've locked the same bike outside in midtown for the past five years w/no incident. Third, but really further to second, it's really goading to hear him complaining about the fact that the pedals keep moving and the seat is uncomfortable. "Doc, it hurts when I punch myself in the head..."

Anonymous said...

_flying bike_ kickstarter? well, sort of.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/114063537/paravelo-the-worlds-first-flying-bicycle

JB said...

Most of CJ's comments suggest an early-20s punk; just looking for a reaction. Yet, CJ's "guilt" over supposedly boning "too young" early-20s women suggests mid-30s or older.

Hmm. Interesting, but not too interesting.

Noneof MyBusiness said...

Sounds like of of the readers has a threatening stalker. I haven't read anything that would warrant that kind of abuse. The interweb blogs are a free for all and you can get your feelings hurt, but this annoyingmouse just kind of showed up.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 10:41

No, for me it's chalk, not chock. It was a play on words, as in reference to colorful sidewalk chalk to go along with my sunny personality.

Noneof MyBusiness:

I agree. So much hate...they must be truly miserable with their lives. I pity them and hope they find happiness. Somewhere else.

babble on said...

It's pretty cowardly to abuse someone from behind the cover of anonymity. Yes, you're definitely one of the cool kids now, Queenie m'dear.

CJ - yours is the logic which continues the cycle of abuse. It's like people who figure it's ok to hit kids cause their parents hit them, and look at how well they turned out.

Yes. You got fucked by an opportunist, and look how well you turned out.

That's right. Just keep telling yourself how you're doing that kid a real favour.

yfortc which

The Pope of GV said...

CJ@312: "I had been on self imposed celibacy the last year or so..." CJ posts from the Vatican, provided we're only talking about M to F.

RoadQueen said...

Thank you, Babble.

I'll fly my flag with pride, and if this person continues to try to piss on my parade, I'll just pull out my trusty poncho.

:)

side nelwik

Tom said...

Dear Babble,
re: June 19, 2013 at 11:42 AM

That was awesome.

Roille Figners said...

Not defending the much-loathed ChamoisJuice, but people seem too sure of a couple things that are by no means certain. For example: Are the clueless 21-year-olds her own age gonna treat her any better, or stick around longer? (...accepting for a moment the implicit assumption that relationships that last longer are in some way "better") Are those lil' boys gonna MARRY her? I hope not, for both people's sakes.

Strangely puritanical thoughts emanating from the lady with the blog with "sex" right there in the title. Sex is something good that you give someone generously. If you're old and hot enough to have sex with young hot people, but you don't, it should be because you find them bland & boring, not because they need to be protected from your ill intentions. Unless of course you have them.

Ho hum, bored of this and myself.

ChamoisJuice said...

Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal "Form" of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire – thus suggesting that even that sensually-based love aspires to the non-corporeal, spiritual plane of existence; that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth through the means of eros.

ChamoisJuice said...

....In other words, slaying the ripe poon makes me a more spiritual, better person.

For that other buddy, celibacy is oft associated with Catholicism, but not exclusive to that religion.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celibacy

gwadzilla said...

I like your stuff.

most of the time I am amused and agree with your perspective and your wit.

babble on said...

Yes. Eros is spiritual. Yes. Sex is powerfully good. And Yes. We have a sacred duty to protect children. Everybody's children. Yes. If that were my 21 year old daughter I would want to protect her from the likes of you, and as the mother of a 21 year old son, I certainly would want to protect him from someone twice his age screwing with him.

This from the girl who fell head over heels for a man twice her age when she was but 17. Yes, he was sophisticated and charming, and yes the sex was hot, but did it serve my higher purpose? Fuck no.

babble on said...

Oh yeah. Eros is erotic LOVE. That's love we're talking about, passionate, beautiful, physical love. Please don't tell me that what you did was an act of LOVE.

ChamoisJuice said...

She's someone
When does is a woman her own woman, and not her parents' possession?

One More Chance For A Heart To Skip A Beat

Doe eyed innocence is quickly being replaced by a confident young woman who knows what she wants and is not ashamed to take it.

I CAN'T KEEP UP! She's wearing me out. Might need to juice, lol.

Too bad I don't have a daughter... I'd like to impart that knowledge on her.

I was feeling conflicted and confessional. After last 3 days, I HAVE NO REGRETS! Fuck societal norms, SERIOUSLY.

BamaPhred said...

More recumbabe, hope you folks get your personal lives in order, I'm feeling retrogrouchy today, not to be confused with retro grouch, the poster, who is cool. And both Leroy and Leroy's Dog rock.

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