Thursday, July 18, 2013

Helment Hats: The New Lampshade

I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I have too many bikes for my current lifestyle.  This may require some sort of blowout cash-and-carry crappy bike supersale at my storage facility in Brooklyn.  I need to take inventory.  If I do go through with it I'll let you know.*

*(All proceeds from such a sale would of course go to charity.)

I do not, however, have too many helments, and I especially don't have too many helments that look like regular hats.  In fact, I don't have any helments that look like regular hats, and after watching the video for this Kickstarter I can assure you that I never will:




I like to think I have a low tolerance for vanity.  I use Citi Bike.  I ride a Big Dummy in flip-flops.  I've even reverted to riding a Fred bike with hairy legs.  (I'm referring to my own legs.  My Fred bike does not have hairy legs, nor indeed any legs at all.)  Does this look like a fellow who frets over his appearance?


(Typical American cyclist or Japanese construction worker?  It's anybody's guess.)

I would argue that it does not.

However, even though I donned the above ensemble in jest during some bygone BRA and would never really ride a bike that way, I'd rather sport a DayGlo windbreaker and a teal glans on my head any day than wear a comically oversized golf hat:


Notice, for example, how when she wobbles awkwardly through the plaza every head turns to gaze in amazement at her formidable melon:


Sure, it is aerodynamic, I'll grant her that:


(She looks like Ronnie Corbett time-trialling.)

But is that really worth strapping what looks like a tweed turtle on your head?

I'd argue that it is not.

I'd also argue that this gentleman looks equally ridiculous:


I mean, skidding around on your fixie looks stupid enough:


But when you do it in a cardigan and a bloated jockey helment you just look like a petulant Fred Rogers:


(Thrills, seriously?  Your going 4mph.  There are helmentless ten year-olds getting "radder" than that.)

If you're going to dress like that, at least do something more cardigan-appropriate, like shopping for old books:


I'm glad to see this helment has been subject to rigorous testing.  Indeed, just as Mavic brought us the Diminutive Frenchman Unit, the makers of the Doof-Tastic Collapsible Helment Hat have brought us the Antiquarian Book Unit, or "ABU:"


Evidently this helment can withstand forces of up to one (1) ABU, so you can rest assured that if at some point during your commute someone rests a book on your head you'll be just fine.

Nice hat, Goldilocks:


And nice folding bike:


You should never, ever wear a helment while you're riding a folding bike.  It's highly irresponsible.  You know how people say you're supposed to be a good ambassador for cycling by stopping at lights and not salmoning and refraining from running down old ladies on the sidewalk and stuff like that?  Whatever.  I'll tell you what ruins the image of cycling more than any of those things put together, and it's the sight of someone riding a folding bike while wearing a helment.  It's unspeakably dorky.  For every mile you ride on a folding bike while wearing a helment, 30 people swear never to ride a bicycle for as long as they live.

Yeah, I know, you're concerned about your "safety" and you "don't wanna die" or "wind up a vegetable."

Whatever.

Stop being so damn selfish.

By the way, I bet this helment starts smelling bad in pretty short order, which is why if you wear one your significant other is liable to invite you to a wine bar specifically to break up with you:


("This is your choice: Ditch the stanky lid or find someone else.")

And you'll never even land a significant other in the first place if you opt for the "Groundskeeper Willie:"


He looks like he's wearing a Scottish umbrella on his head:


No brake, but at least he's safe if someone gently places a book on his noggin.

But when it comes to Kickstarter projects that sound like wanking, look no further than the "Rubbee:"


Yes, this man wants to give you a Rubbee:


(Make sure to use plenty of lube with your Rubbee™ continuously-variable home wanking machine.)

Hey, they gave Richard Branson a Rubbee and he looks happy:


Actually, judging by the way he's holding it, it may be more accurate to say he gave himself a Rubbee.

As I always say: "Give a man a Rubbee and he'll smile for a day, teach a man to use a Rubbee himself and he'll be a shut-in for a lifetime."

Lastly, in the world of portaging smugness, cargo bikes are out and cargo skateboards are in:

Just get a dolly and be done with it already.

123 comments:

3G said...

TLDNR

Anonymous said...

left coast 1st! or somesuch. for a moment I thought WRM was taking a sick day.

more snapshots of brooklyn please.

sticky go-pro crotch cam is fine.

scranus.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

hot as a bull's nutsack today… and i have a phobia of bull's nutsacks!!!

ChamoisJuice said...

almost there...

Roille Figners said...

Droppin' a "quint"

Anonymous said...

Top 10 Yeah Cleveland!

samh said...

I swear I will never ride a bicycle for as long as I live.

Tetanus the Clown said...

Scranus

Freddy Murcks said...

Ballin' full on.

Speaking of balls, do you think I could use one of those foldable bike helments to protect my bull's testicles? He gets a bit upset when his ball sack gets snagged on the sagebrush we have here in flyover country.

nondsto 25

3G said...

IN RUSSIA BICYCLE DRIVE YOU

Buffalo Bill said...

Can I get that umbrella in a McLeod tartan please?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Recumbabe knows how to beat the heat when she goes for a ride.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Rubbee doobie.

Anonymous said...

Those helments will go over well with the Origami group. I'd prefer the swan shape, please.

Anonymous said...

I saw a foldable kayak today, would make for a suitable hallway companion to your foldable bike, and perhaps your packable fedora.

ORIG AMI:
FOLD ABLE
LIFE STYL

happy ending said...

Rubbee!!

Comment deleted said...

I'd never buy a helment from a company called "Cloaca", anyway.

And that Rubbee looks an awful lot like my Fred-dragger idea. Only mine would rob power, not supply it.

Anonymous said...

Rubbee + Teal glans = -(Blue Balls)

Roille Figners said...

Oh my god thanks for including Richard Branson for scale. That Rubbbbbeeeee thing is FUCKING HUGE!!!! And I mean, I haul tons of stupid crap around with me, so that should mean something.

"Looking to overcomplicate your life? Frustrated by the fact that your bicycle just simply 'goes forward' when you pedal it? Is your name Faust? Say goodbye to all that shit with this Branson-forearm-sized, doubtless-50-pound-battery-havin', literally-bigger-than-a-breadbox... Life Saver!"

Paul Bowen said...

How pleasing - I had no idea that anyone in Americky knows who Ronnie Corbett is!

Must dash, I have to pick up the candles for my niece's fourth birthday cake.

Jed said...

Elle Decor magazine has a section where they ask some aging design celebrity dandy to list the twelve things he can't live without. Nobody cares about the obvious things, we're talking mostly objects, places, foods etc.
We'd be interested to hear about the twelve (or less?) things that WCRM can't live without. Should elicit some interesting comments.

Anonymous said...

Wearing a stolen helmet? Looks like someone is going to get lice.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

#10 Ray-Ban Aviators

Anonymous said...

Put a sail on that cargo skateboard and hoist the Dolly Roger!

There was a guy riding a bike with a chainsaw based rubbee around town a few months ago. You could hear him coming from blocks away.

leroy said...

My dog claims he can beat that Day Glo Windbreaker and Teal safety glans model in a walk off.

As usual, I have no idea what he's talking about.

What dog doesn't enjoy a good walk?

ChamoisJuice said...

There is a russian guy in my town that reps a tandem with a weedeater motor, towing a trailer that has a bike rack to mount his TWO (2) Polo bikes. The polo bike have dual brake levers pulling a single avid cable disc (choice brake of fucktards errywhere).

He is good at wheelies. I like that he doesn't conform to any set bicycle rider uniform.

Blog Drafter said...

#9

CJ

BamaPhred said...

Dorktacular.
Rubbin one out with a rubbee, not even self powered onanism.
Does helment meet any safety standard other than dorkitude v.00wanker?
Man, this is the good stuff of cycling news, thanks

It sweaty summer time, or an "87 alhreake"

wishiwasmerckx said...

Every time you ride a folding bike without a helmet, G-d kills a kitten.

g. said...

Here in Floriduh the weedeater is the motor of choice for the powered bicycling cycle. I guess it's because the folks that cut the grass around here are the ones most likely to be riding one. Two birds and all...

Steven Falkowski said...

Wait, there's lockers at the grocery store full of Rubbees?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Does anybody know which component group team BMC racing uses? The one that crapped out today and very possibly cost Teejay the stage win?

Anonymous said...

#8

HIS CAR THAT HE OWNS AND DRIVES

wishiwasmerckx said...

Did anybody else see Quintana flying up Alpe D'Huez this morning?

http://failblog.cheezburger.com/wins/share/7586739712#.UecCKO8DkVI.email

P. Bateman said...

so...the nice danish/norwegian/eurowhatever guys said they did all kinds of research to create Rubbee ---but did they do any MARKET research? as in, will anyone actually pay for such a stupid thing?


by the way, aren't Rubbee's the coins you get in zelda?



Evan Reehl Ryer said...

Duder, you'll never be as cool as a Japanese construction worker.
http://tell.la/view/29918

FR8 said...

You have already proved that you don't need a helment when you fall off a folding bike. Although not all folder riders have your impressive road skills and may not be able to land on their ass like you.

CommieCanuck said...

MUSH ROOM

Look at this filthy animal, look at it..look...disgusting.

CommieCanuck said...

By the way, with the right sauce..delicious.

PBateman said...

hey commie - that is a pretty darn cute cat.

CommieCanuck said...

I'm here to fix the leak, and kick your ass.

CommieCanuck said...

hey commie - that is a pretty darn cute cat.

Cuter on a pizza with fresh Gorgonzola and basil.

CommieCanuck said...

Stephen Colberto

Serial Retrogrouch said...

hey, bastard guy, i rubbee it, you do it.

Roille Figners said...

#7 epi-pen

Anonymous said...

Tweed Turtle.
HA!

Roille Figners said...

Now get this, we'll feed the rats to the cats and the cats to the rats, and get the catskins for nothing.



This thing ain't workin'. How'm I supposed to type a captcha I can't even SEE, god dammit. But you know who CAN see them?




ROBOTS.

Roille Figners said...

Also, why "captcha" and not "capcha?"

And also, what is the appropriate plural... is it "captchas," or don't you think maybe it should be "captchaz."

RoadQueen said...

#6 - Beer Brunch

Anonymous said...

#6

The. Big. Dummy.

Anonymous said...

#5

The. Big. Dummy. :)

RoadQueen said...

Anon - I believe you're #5

RoadQueen said...

JINX!!!! :)

Udder said...

Does anyone else think Richard Branson looks like a creepy elf?

ChamoisJuice said...

4. sideburn curler

ChamoisJuice said...

for reals, tho, BSNYC is not a materialist. He is defined by his IDEAS, not his possesions.

SCRANUS

Oh, by the way, here are some photos of my bicycles that I don't care about.

Redheads > asians

Anonymous said...

It is interesting to me that BSNYC's most cherished bike, the single speed Engin dandy mobile, is a mountain bike....considering that he is not really a mountain biker. Not enough creative facial hair.

Anonymous said...

I don't need either the helment or folding bike to look dorky. I do that on my own ;)

crosspalms said...

There was a little piece in the NYT style section today about hats that look like helments to wear OFF the bike. I think they're $145. Next we'll have street clothes that look like bike clothes and margarine called "I can't believe it's not chamois butt'r"

Anonymous said...

I currently own four helmets. One for each purpose (that's my reasoning)[fuck I have to replace them every three years or so!]- race,road training rides&commuting(I bet BSNYC would think I'm out my mind. I am, it's so very fitting. I've been hit by SUVs,trucks ECT. in the past while wearing a helmet but I still experienced head trauma (SBI)really yeah who would have guessed that would happen!!!

Bell Sweep, Array,Drop(Full Face DHMTB),&Furio( Bell sent me a new replacement two&half years ago. This model sucked to begin with!{That's why I sent it back to them it the first place! The fit adjuster snaps out of the helmet itself (bracket)&never is able to pop back in. It's all fucking warped!}The furio was put out of its misery over three years ago. But why were they sending me the stragglers hanging around the warehouse? Why not send me the model that replaced it? Fucking Bell, I actually told them on the phone "I think your helmets suck" & abruptly hung up. I had some explaining to do after I called back the next day. Hey Bell? tell me this... why the fuck are you sending me a helmet if it's obsolete? All my helmets are Bell I paid for your business at lease you could pretend a it better?

The King of Park Slope said...

You didn't mock Portland's Disaster Relief Trials?

You're going soft on us.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 3:41:

Shut Up.

#4

His abiding faith in Lob, and all of Lob's accessories, such as charcoal lighter, tongs, etc..

Anonymous said...

Helmet wench road cyclist who still doesn't wax her legs. I reason that it makes me more of a eruotrash fast. Anyone who needs to wax there legs to be aero is bonkers. Don't give the heed of road rash & hair follicles preventing infections. Tuff it up cyclist!

CommieCanuck said...

Bell Sweep, Array,Drop(Full Face DHMTB),&Furio( Bell sent me a new replacement two&half years ago. This model sucked to begin with!{That's why I sent it back to them it the first place! The fit adjuster snaps out of the helmet itself (bracket)&never is able to pop back in. It's all fucking warped!}The furio was put out of its misery over three years ago. But why were they sending me the stragglers hanging around the warehouse? Why not send me the model that replaced it? Fucking Bell, I actually told them on the phone "I think your helmets suck" & abruptly hung up. I had some explaining to do after I called back the next day. Hey Bell? tell me this... why the fuck are you sending me a helmet if it's obsolete? All my helmets are Bell I paid for your business at lease you could pretend a it better?

Experienced, or are experiencing head trauma?

BUTT said...

the girth of this helmet would make a lot more sense if it had a fake dreadlocked pony tale affixed to the back, maybe a couple dreads hanging off the sides. just saying.

CommieCanuck said...

Does anyone else think Richard Branson looks like a creepy elf?

uh yeah...looks like..

He made his fortune making cookies in tree and selling those cookies for $10 billion dollars each. It was the go-go 80s.

Anonymous said...

Bell helments make you look like this....

Dooth said...

That Clasco could use a Rubbee.

The King of Park Slope said...

#2 Rapha Dandy Jacket

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Absence of babble could only mean that she's giving herself a rubbee!

...or else she got inspired by road queen and now has an animal between her legs, dancing.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of guys in eastern europe with too much free time on their hands. If I want a self propelled bike I'm going to buy something cool like a Harley and I'm probably not going to go with the Rubbee which tops out at 15 MPH, I can go faster than that on a Citibike.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. CommieCanuck --

My dog advises that your 2:37 PM link is NSFB.

Not Safe For Brunch.

I have no idea what he means by that.

Typical.

ChamoisJuice said...

Nyet: the dandy jacket is a Brooks that costs as much as 8 Carhartt jackets, but does have like 3 belts.

pretense > authenticity


I can see through you, due to, my Queens education

RoadQueen said...

"Absence of babble could only mean that she's giving herself a rubbee!

...or else she got inspired by road queen and now has an animal between her legs, dancing."

Either way, time well spent, in my opinion!

Anonymous said...

Earlier this week some cock from Connecticut in a big fucking range rover nearly hit me on my morning commute while he was riding with his car in the bike lane in Central Park. I exchanged some words with him and a guy on a road bike rolled up beside me and said "that guys an asshole" to which i agreed whole-heartedly, but then he added "that's why you should wear a helmet". I didn't bother saying anything but the subtext seemed to be that if I get run down in a bike lane by some asshole in a fucking 3 ton $60k soccer mom car and sustain a head injury that it somehow would be my fault for not wearing a helmet? Is it possible that we are taking this helmet thing just a wee bit too far?

Anonymous said...

If you use the Rubbee for "personal gratification" please be sure to wear a helmet and sunscreen.

Anonymous said...

Those "hat" helmets do look a bit out of place, but at lease they are wearing a helmet.( the library I sometimes moonlight as a volunteer at has a librarian who has a helmet that looks like a safari hat. She has mumbled under her breath at me that I'm stuck in the year 1994[I'm really stuck in the year 1999 or 2007 depending how you view{judge} me] Hey, who are you to judge mS. Helmet hat wearing pusher. I'll rock my fullface helmet & do more work & not get cash money for it than you do for state cash god money!

They look dorky but come on protect your head it really does come down to that not anything else.

Roille Figners said...

Anon 4:10... Yeah I don't see the connection. Helmets don't disembowel SUV-driving Connecticocks do they? Then why would I need one? A sword would be much handier.

I already had a turn in the countdown so I'm not going to cockblock the #1 slot but I know what it is.

ChamoisJuice said...

BSNYC, the blog is called BIKE SNOB! Here you have people advocating for wearing BELL full face helmets for commuting?!?!?!


This is not nam! There are rules!

ChamoisJuice said...

Clearly, it's the proof that he got laid once that's crawling around puking on stuff.

Changes your whole life! Procreate, and suddenly you have tolerance for recumbents and stupic healments!

d2 said...

A Tweed Turtle is just what I need to reach the pinnacle of dorkiness...I'm so close!

RoadQueen said...

Hey, easy on the recumbents! Some of us prefer enlightened Freds.

:P

Anonymous said...

CommieCanuck : HENCE SBI SEVERE BRAIN INJURY {if there wasn't spell check this post would have read as the following : sever brian injury} Yeah it's that bad !!!& that happen five years ago on August twenty third two thousand and eight. Hit and run! That goes to show you something ... I had to drop out of ...

Comment deleted said...

Riolle: captchae.

Also, "Connecticock" -> excellent.

Anonymous said...

#1

Porn, of course.

Anonymous said...

HUGE FLOPPY FORESKIN DOCKING PRON

Anonymous said...

Though I do force myself not to rely on spell check & actually look up the word in the dictionary. I am trying to be proactive about the whole never ending healing process of traumatic brain injury!

Roille Figners said...

Takes one to know one, since I was one.

Comment deleted said...

Me too. Norwich.

Euro Spondee said...

Ah yes, that old seventies Madison-slinging duo, Ronnie Corbett and Richard Branson. Truly la creme de la creme over in the UK. Can you work Eric Morecambe and Freddie Laker into the Friday quiz?

JB said...

Wow. Comments are really swinging today, huh?

Ronnie Corbett said...

... And it's good night from me ...

Serial Retrogrouch said...

JB,

swinging... and wife swapping, yes.

FreeWheels for Kids said...

Wait, what? What the hell is the point of a bike motor that can't be used with a rear rack? Isn't the whole point that you can be lazy and also carry crap? Silly Rubbee.

Jed said...

Too obvious ;)

Anonymous said...

Babble sighting today near Kits Beach. She was looking so fine!

Anonymous said...

Apparently, the WRM brain trust don't know the teeny gas engine mounted on the bike is generically called a Whizzer.

Some of you apparently spend too much time checking your sock height and getting all porno at Velomenati. Ohhhh the veeeeee..... Ohhhh!!

Robot stack failure

ETF said...

"For every mile you ride on a folding bike while wearing a helment, 30 people swear never to ride a bicycle for as long as they live." I know several people who have said that after seeing "Freds" furiously pedaling along on a "recreational" ride. Come to think of it, "Freds" commonly wear helmets also, but I think it is more the look of stoic anguish on their faces as they "recreate." Kind of like a fish tossed up on shore, it thrashes around a lot, but has that normal, blank, fish eye look.

WIKIE GOON said...

The Brits wore a "turtle helmet" towards end of WWII. Looked a lot like todays featured helmet.

Roille Figners said...

I think mikeweb (whe he at?) said he used to be a straight up Nutmeg Balla too, stone cold Constitutional Mountain Laurel mofo.

Anonymous said...

More "The Two Ronnies" or ima fucking kill you.

Comment deleted said...

Ex-Connecticocks Racing Team!

sponsored by War 'R Us.

Anonymous said...

My mate (who is currently in la belle France) has acquired for me a spotty Champion hat. Helment not needed.

hey nonny mouse

Cheers, Murray!

Comment deleted said...

Ex-Connecticunts are welcome, too, of course.

McFly said...

If I ever go to France I definately want to check out Gap.

Anonymous said...

I'm completely gobsmacked that Ronnie Corbett gats a mention

Frilly Chick said...

CC--that kitten is so stinking cute I can't hardly stand it! I wonder where I can get some of those outfits for my cats & where I can get some industrial thickness gloves to use while dressing them in their new little outfits?

Those helmets on the other hand make me sort of nauseous.

Speaking of, I need a new helmet. Anybody have a favorite?

Nacnud said...

Rubbee rub rub...
Just take it with you when you park - then you can re-attach the rear mudguard (a fender is a guitar).
Hmmm...no access to your rack, no rear mudguard possible. I don't think they really thought it through.

5425 ngivior, as in 'I couldn't ngivior fuck'

McFly said...

Paul Sherwin said upon the first acsent of Alp Do Whiz that now is the time when the sprinters, heavy riders, flat landers and possibly Cadel Evans will get dropped. Wow. Cadel is now his own category of sucking at climbing, One and done, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Frillys boobs are bigger than that Euro Spondee.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Frilly, I recommend this one. I have ridden it in a wide variety of conditions, and have been pleased with its performance:

http://failblog.cheezburger.com/wins/share/7586739712#.UecCKO8DkVI.email

babble on said...

Wow. That's great! Having your own category of sucking at climbing is a new height I can loftily aspire to!

Anon @ 6:05 - Thank you! Was I climbing the hill in my shorts, bikini top, and flip flops? You are waaaaay too kind. You also have an adorable appreciation of slow-moving objects.

Yarpo said...

Frilly, I like my Giro Atmos and my newer Cannondale Teramo. Both comfy and Fred-riffic!

Babble, you don't suck at climbing. Don't worry about how fast you go. Just climb. It's more about being relentless and not giving up. It's mostly in the skull and not the legs. Plus, you get fucka-strong WITH rewarding views of bitchin' scenery!

Believe in the Babble.

narrallo 1219... a new gruppo from Campagnolo?

Jan! said...

Snob: I think you have your construction worker outfit wrong. It's supposed to be a yellow helment on a green coat.

Re: helmets on folding bikes. I am with you there for normal folding bike usage, but last December, we went to Northern Thailand and took our Bromptons. We logged some 100-kilometer days and went up and down the Doi Inthanon, Thailand's highest mountain at up to 75 km/h. (Down, not up.) I can assure you that long rides and high speeds on a wobbly diminutive bicycle makes you appreciate wearing road-bike-like gear.

Now, as for the right tool for the job, that is a whole other can of Fraggles.

babble on said...

Lol...thank you! It's true! I don't suck at climbing, I just suck at climbing fast.

Relentless comes naturally to me. :)

Anonymous said...

I believe that people who wear helmets are more than likely to use condoms in their personal live. Like condoms helmets protect the user to a point from potential injury ({mostly NON-}/reversible STIs or unwanted pregnancy[former]). What risk you future health it you live to have a clean STI FREE NO BABY FUTURE...

Hey I guess it all comes around when your out of the gene pool that works out great. Don't wear a helmet but wear a condom while giving & receiving head(I call it head for all sexes),anal,CUNT because we need a lot use of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JB said...

Reported Babble sightings? Kind of creepy, in a not-really-that-creepy sort of way. Why didn't you catch-up say hello? Oh, you say she was climbing a hill and you she dropped you? ;')

McFly said...

Silly Babble you climb at sucking not the other way around.

babble on said...

Mmm sucking...

Yeah, mum says even as a baby I was the biggest sucker. I LOVE to suck.

I can hold a wheel alright, too.

Roille Figners said...

Hmmm... McFly & Babble showed up late at the same time.

"McFly & Babble, sittin' in a tree
_ _ _ _ I N G ..."

I'm so mature.

Anonymous said...

Thank you BSNYC for the post reference! I am the same person( I own four bell helmets) not that you care. Speak to me through KAFKA's Attorney; I am a space case so bare with me... Anonymous said...I believe that people who wear helmets are more than likely to use condoms in their personal live. Like condoms helmets protect the user to a point from potential injury ({mostly NON-}/reversible STIs or unwanted pregnancy[former]). What risk you future health it you live to have a clean STI FREE NO BABY FUTURE...
Hey I guess it all comes around when your out of the gene pool that works out great. Don't wear a helmet but wear a condom while giving & receiving head(I call it head for all sexes),anal,CUNT because we need a lot use of you!July 19, 2013 at 4:36 AM Anonymous said-I currently own four helmets. One for each purpose (that's my reasoning)[fuck I have to replace them every three years or so!]- race,road training rides&commuting(I bet BSNYC would think I'm out my mind. I am, it's so very fitting. I've been hit by SUVs,trucks ECT. in the past while wearing a helmet but I still experienced head trauma (SBI)really yeah who would have guessed that would happen!!!
Bell Sweep, Array,Drop(Full Face DHMTB),&Furio( Bell sent me a new replacement two&half years ago. This model sucked to begin with!{That's why I sent it back to them it the first place! The fit adjuster snaps out of the helmet itself (bracket)&never is able to pop back in. It's all fucking warped!}The furio was put out of its misery over three years ago. But why were they sending me the stragglers hanging around the warehouse? Why not send me the model that replaced it? Fucking Bell, I actually told them on the phone "I think your helmets suck" & abruptly hung up. I had some explaining to do after I called back the next day. Hey Bell? tell me this... why the fuck are you sending me a helmet if it's obsolete? All my helmets are Bell I paid for your business at lease you could pretend a it better? July 18, 2013 at 3:41 PM

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