Friday, March 8, 2013

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

After spending much of Wednesday astride a folding bike I desperately needed to wash the dorkiness out of my crotch, and so yesterday afternoon I went for a ride on a bicycle with those curved-type handlebars and the click-in pedals like the ones they use in the Tour de France:


The ride, while short, was enough to reinvigorate and inspire my humiliated scranus.  Here's another picture of the bicycle from a slightly different angle because why the fuck not?


I enjoy bicycle riding because each pedal stroke takes me that much closer to reaching my seasonal fitness goals, which as I understand it is the entire point.  Another important aspect of cycling is social networking, so of course you can pore over the details of my nothing bicycle ride here on my Strava account.  I did, however, fail to administer the all-important "peel a banana at speed" test, though I did slice a biali and slather it with cream cheese while trackstanding.

By the way, my ride took me to Hastings-On-Hudson, which you may remember as the town the New York Times recently declared to be the new hipster suburb:


("So where the fuck are all the hipsters?!?")

Yeah, right.  "Hipster" my scranus.  Most of the people I saw were wearing sweatpants, and while people debate endlessly over what makes someone a hipster, I think everyone can agree that there's no such thing as a hipster who wears sweatpants.




So here in New York City we're about to totally abandon our bicycle infrastructure, whereas London is putting theirs theirs on EPO.  Just check out the specs on this town!

--It's a real city, unlike Portland, which is a large woodland village for people who can't hack it in cities;
--It's committed to cycling;
--You can take a train to Paris and stuff;
--There's free health care, and even though that probably comes with a high tax rate I don't care because I don't plan to work;
--They speak a dialect of English that in certain circumstances and in certain wind directions I can understand.

So what's the catch?  Well, OK, there's occasional rioting.  Also, they still think fixies are cool.  Worst of all, some of the people who live there are English.  Still, it's a small price to pay.

By the way, I enjoyed the spirited Cat 6 race in the video:


I'm sure someone will complain that Boris Johnson is not wearing a helmnent, but it's fine because as you can see he's being escorted by an ambulance.  In fact, as I understand it, as per the plan every London cyclist gets a personal ambulance escort, which will of course provide free medical attention when you get wheel-chopped by some fop on a Brompton.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll be thrilled, and if you're wrong you'll see a recumbent wheelsucker.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and drink responsively.


--Wildcat Rock Machine




1) According to an article forwarded by a reader, the Congressional Sportsmen's Foundation "opposes restrictions on high-capacity ammunition magazines, a ban on military-style AR-15 rifles and the imprinting of bullets with traceable serial numbers to help solve crimes."

Which company is a "Diamond"-level partner?

--Smith & Wesson
--Winchester Ammunition
--The National Rifle Association
--Shimano







2) This homemade e-bike once belonged to Fabian Cancellara.

--True
--False







3) Volvo's new alert-and-brake system is great news for cyclists because it will:

--Make cyclists safer
--Make drivers more attentive
--Make collisions a thing of the past
--Allow cyclists to exact revenge on arrogant Volvo drivers by swerving in front of their cars intentionally and forcing the brakes to deploy








("Riding a folding bike and enjoying a Rolling Rock.  Life just doesn't get any better," he said between heaving sobs.)

4) The storied "glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe" are actually in:

--Old Latrobe, PA
--New Latrobe, PA
--South Latrobe, PA
--Newark, NJ






5) Late Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez's bicycle passed the "peel a banana at speed" test with flying colors.

--The opposite of false, which is true
--The opposite of true, which is false







6) Bicycle-powered honey production and bee-themed community outreach meeting?  Must be:

--Portland, OR
--Minneapolis, MN
--Portland, ME
--Old Latrobe, PA







7) That's no dummy!  That's:

--Bret
--The Lone Wolf
--Brett
--Wikipedia Nonplussed Bib Shorts Guy



***Special Missed Connections Haircut-Themed Bonus Question***



Last summer on the Hudson River Greenway - m4w - 36 (Chelsea)
12th Ave. at W. 24th St.

This is a real shot in the dark, but I saw you last summer in June or July, near Pier 64 (I think) on the Hudson River Greenway. I was sitting on a park bench next to my bike (a black single-speed with green tires), as you strolled by with yours. Possibly you recall my haircut--_________________________________. You parked just a bit down from me and gave me some very warm smiles.

I was dating someone at the time, so I couldn't make good on your alluring glances. But my relationship unexpectedly came to an end shortly after that, and now I'd like to cross paths with you again.


What kind of haircut did he have?

--A "crooked mohawk-sprout kind of thing"
--"The kind that you might give a dog"
--A "truly magnificent combover blown wild in the summer wind coming off the Hudson"
--"Heavily moussed with frosted tips, a sentimental nod to my Jersey roots"

98 comments:

Comment deleted said...

Friday funk podium!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

freeeeaaaky friday... yay

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

recline-O-matic

David Kopf said...

Jambo!

David Kopf said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Ass Monkeys... ATTACK!!!

theEel said...

weed!

CommieCanuck said...

Foldies rule!

Anonymous said...

spurt

wishiwasmerckx said...

Rounding out the top ten again!

3G said...

Top 10! I hate myself

wishiwasmerckx said...

GREAT! Promoted to 9th when anon 1:16 was relegated.

Anonymous said...

Right where I have always wanted to be - on top of Babble.

Perry said...

I would be sort of curious to know Bret's story. I am sure he has achieved stock photo fame to a degree that he never imagined.

Comment deleted said...

So I said to my friend, "I wish I could Strava." And he said "Go ahead, it looks like a friendly dog."

crosspalms said...

I'd like an avocado sandwich with crooked Mohawk sprouts, please.

Anonymous said...

I can understand Shimano supporting fishing. But Amgen?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:37pm,

Maybe a lot of these sportsmen types are doping.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Anonymous said...

TOP 20 without EPO.

Anonymous said...

Boris is a fud.

Incidentally, there is organised Silly Commuter Racing.....by way of the Bike Radar forum....

hey nonny mouse (fcn 7)

Fritz said...

Drink Responsively...Check

ge said...

Snob, if you head to London, you'll need to ditch those filth prophylactics in favour of some proper Brezhnevian wheel brows. On the plus side, you can don a bee costume while riding with your fellow folders, ala Blind Melon.

Alex X helment fascist said...

Top 25!

Also I think Wildcat was riding on a Tern, as James Huang was recently:

https://twitter.com/angryasian/status/309705905677684736/photo/1

Anonymous said...

So a guy riding a recumbent, caught up with a group of "normal" bike racers" while holding a camera. How embarrassing!

Anonymous said...

Aside from having awesome hear, mayor Boris sees the obvious that everyone who is currently debating bike lanes in NY, including the mayorial candidates miss:

- more bikes ---> less cars
- less cars ---> less noise, less pollution, less congestion, safer streets, less wear and tear on the roads, bridges and tunnels ----> save tax dollars
- also, more cyclists ---> happier and healthier citizens ---> lower health care costs ---> save tax dollars.

Why can't the gaggle of idiots we have running for mayor do the math here? It's very aggrevating wild cat.

McFly said...

MOREYACHTMILFORIMAFOOKINKILLYA!

Comment deleted said...

Not to be pedantic, McFly, but I think she qualifies as a GMILF. Hmm, I mean GM*Y*LF. Leave me out of this one.

babble on said...

Mmmmm London... I'm with you, snobbers.

mikeweb said...

Funny, I was just discussing Boris with an English bloke at work yesterday.

Anonymous said...

fenders on the Ritte?! I'm appalled. Where should I start... firstly, you don't need a front fender, with the narrow tires the downtube will block 95% of road muck. Secondly, if you understandably don't want to get your tweed pants wet, lose that clunky metal rear fender and replace it with an inexpensive light platic removable fender or maybe ride one of your ten other bikes. Finally, it's like a $4k bike made for speed, why would you put crappy fenders on it? By the way, I'm available to dispense other life advice on an ad hoc basis.

mikeweb said...

And damned if that isn't two days in a row now that I'm underneath babble.

Sometimes a guy needs to wined and dined first you know.

Roger Miller said...

England swings like a pendulum do,

Bobbies on bicycles, two by two,

Westminster Abbey the tower of Big Ben,

The rosy red cheeks of the little children.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon, he already is possessed of folding rear fenders which say "BSNYC" on them. You would have one, too, had you attended a stop on his last book tour, where he opened for Kiss.

babble on said...

What's a girl to do when a pair of seven inch heels arrives at her door? Time to meditate, to contemplate... time do decide whether to ride or not to ride.

babble on said...

One of the best things about working in London is LIQUID LUNCH on Friday afternoon.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Anonymous said...
So a guy riding a recumbent, caught up with a group of "normal" bike racers" while holding a camera. How embarrassing!

Thanks Anon 1:50.

Anonymous said...

Although your bike does have curvy bars like TdF bikes, there are a number of differences between your bike and an actual TdF bike:
Pros don't use saddle bags, ever.
Pros definitely don't use saddle bags the size of duffel bags, never, ever.
They don't ride Ti bikes in the TdF
They don't use Ultegra
They don't use fenders, even when it's raining and they probably should.
They don't use cheap Mavic CXP-22 rims
You need to buy a new bike with lots and lots of carbon, electric shifting and big carbon rims.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:01pm,

That is exactly an inexpensive light plastic removable fender on there already, and the part about the downtube blocking 95% of road muck is just plain kooky talk, not to mention the silliness of using the frame to block the muck when you can just use the inexpensive piece of front plastic that came with the inexpensive piece of rear plastic to keep the muck from getting on the frame in the first place.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

Marcel Da Chump said...

Peel scranus at speed.

Anonymous said...

Snob, your a dork!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Babble, girl, you are too much. I believe that when you are joining the 7" club, you are getting into rare territory, indeed, considering that average size of...ahem..."heels" is 5.5"

Anonymous said...

15 mile super bike highway. That is another thing not to hate about Britain, they even speak English distance.

Anonymous said...

this post kinda cleansed my virtual scranus.

Anonymous said...

Me likes "shot in the dark" love stories.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lance, is it better to have won and lost...or never to have won at all!!!......i love you

babble on said...

WIWM - the air is definitely quite rare up here!

It looks like girls are as bad at guesstimating length as guys are, because I always figured my usual 5.5" heels are longer than your typical riding shoe. It's definitely a blow to my ego to learn that I've merely been AVERAGE all this time!

McFly said...

Anybody that is anybody knows that:

A) You CANNOT ride a road bicycle on anything but fresh, smooth tarmac and

B) You CANNOT ride a road bicycle without a speedometer to record your precious data.

Monchberter said...

Snob, that's actually former Olympic gold medallist Chris Boardman who is riding with him (in the red).

London's a bit grim and most drivers passive aggressive to full on aggressive but most of these ideas are pretty smart. Some more deranged driver groups are going mad though, that and taxi drivers...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-21699623

McFly said...

MOREGMILFORIMAFOOKINKILLYA!

(GMILF is way better cause she will probably bring cookies)

bikesgonewild said...

...damn...that's the trouble with watching porn...

...you find out quickly just how 'average' you really are...

...just comparin'...

7" Stud said...

Actually it's 7.2"

Any of you ladies free tonight?

Billy said...

Trying to figure out what "wheel chopped" means, the closest I found was SchoolBoy Q's "Hands on the Wheel" chopped and screwed remix:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GV5oq724_c

I guess "chopped and screwed" is a reference to how you feel after participating in a cat 6 race and losing.

And why the hell did I know what kind of haircut that creeper had?

babble on said...

But you CAN ride a roadbike in 7" heels...as long as you don't drag them on the ground.

Anonymous said...

Babble I thought you liked it when it was draggin on the ground.

babble on said...

heh heh... boot porn... look out...

I sense some interesting pictures coming up in the near future.

Anything but average.

Dooth said...

Who does Boris Johnson think he's kidding!?....
we all know he's actually Laurent Fignon.

ge said...

hmm, Dahons have pie plates ...

grog said...

Need to cleanse.
Shades of Deepthroat.
Nine Inch Depends.
Funk whiz beats goat.

RIDE NICE

Anonymous said...

sorry snob, i stand corrected. I didn't realize those were removable. Nice. I ride my road bike in all conditions with just a removable rear fender to keep my ass dry and then a quick post ride wipe down clean off all of the muck. but i can see you wanting to keep the down tube pristine, when the rest of the undercarriage is covered in shite.

by the way, I'm just nitpicking because I'm jealous because I ride a Giant and not a custom made bike that is named after me.

Anon 2:01.

Anonymous said...

That's totally awesome, I always thought old Boris was much thinner, I think that's because I always see Boris Becker in my head when his name is mentioned.

But, he's a conservative, supports more bicycle infrastructure, and rides a bike to work.

He is Barking (possibly well past) But then again they drive on the wrong side of the road.

Lumpen Fredatariat said...

Anon @4:04, he has always looked like that, and was an old fogey when he was still a teenager.
Still, credit to him that his eccentricities extend to riding bikes.
Don't forget it rains a lot more in London than most places outside the Pacific northwest.
Also Brits can't slice a biali to save their lives.

"nomyman" - what Boris says to his valet.

bikesgonewild said...

..."...forty two years ago, i spotted your sly smile on the top of mt tam..."...
...i was riding a red garlatti & wearing a yellow jersey whilst on a club ride with my buddies...you were sitting with your green gitane, looking hot in a pair of cut-offs & a tanktop...
...being 21 at the time, i had a hard-on for 3 days thinking of you...
...that smile still registers...if you're still around & smiling, gimme a call...
...these days, with viagra i'm only good for a 4 hour hard-on (then i'm supposed to call my doctor for some odd reason) but i'd love to hook up with you..."
...
...signed - sincerely, bgw - (not my real name)...

Buffalo Bill said...

Tough quiz, couple of trick questions in there.

22 entrygam

paulb said...

Let's see if London will trade BoJo for the entire mediocre flock of sheeps I mean field of mayoral candidates we have now in NYC.

dwatts said...

You mentioned Portland,ME finally ( I was so excited I clicked it even tho I knew it was wrong ). Thanks Wildcat!

Matt said...

Budweiser spokesman: “The brewer can take water from anywhere and add or subtract minerals to make it mimic water from other places,” Mr. Gatza said in a telephone interview from association headquarters in Colorado. “They can make it to exact specifications. That’s why a Budweiser brewed in Newark tastes exactly like the ones made in St. Louis.”

Yeah, it tastes like shit.

I always enjoyed Rolling Rock in cans whilst camping in Minnesota State Parks because they don't allow beer and from a distance it looks like 7-UP. Now I'll have to find some other disguised beer.

Friendo said...

Boris isn't a fop, he's a git.

Anonymous said...

Regarding "can you ride a bike whilst wearing heels"; has anyone seen Sheila E's Letterman drum solo? Short sparkly dress and big heels.

I was impressed.

hey nonny mouse

ge said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ge said...

I (huff,huff,huff) accidentally (huff-huff-huff) caught up to this (huff-huff-huff) bike race. (huff-huff-huff) excuse me while I go puke up a lung now. Accidental? Video should have been titled Cat 6 recumbent in denial.

ted said...

I saved all my week's comments for today. So here goes- how clever. Red rocks cyclery has had that for a decade or so. Nothing like a latte by a genuine crotchety bike mech. Hey my schwinn continental is the same color as hers! All foldies should make scooby-doo bike sounds -comedic justice. Wow those are big. And finally, how dare you sir.

leroy said...

My dog asked me to advise "ride safe all" -- especially if you're recording on Strava

Apparently, social media sites share the durndest things.

I must be missing something.

Yarpo said...

Babble, I truly enjoy the display of your new Papal vestments...or bootments (makes me gnash my teeth in a good way)...it's a new day at the Vatican anyway.

Heavy duty podium: congrats to Comment deleted, Serial Retrogrouch, and RCT.

Commie Canuck is back!

I need another glass of this Malbec, it's been a long, long, day.

babble on said...

Cheers, Yarpo! They are fun, aren't they?

Anonymous said...

I believe that I am not allowed to enter the United Kingdom.

McFly said...

Richie Porte is a beast.

Anonymous said...

What do recumbent riders and "Freds" have in common. They take themselves WAY TOO seriously! Check out the cover of the February addition of "Adventure Cycling" magazine. It's a "Fred" fest, with a recumbent rider (well actually walker) mixed in.

Anonymous said...

Mr. ge, were you're feelings hurt? Come on, being a victim of "Fred" bashing is much less painful than being seen in last years lycra.

babble on said...

Sweet! Love the Sheila E drum solo... and dig those heels.

Girl after my own heart. I'd totally ride in that outfit for sure.

Anonymous said...

ANON 3:49 AM; neither is MIchael Savage.

bikesgonewild said...

...sheila fucking e - seriously hot, latin badass drummer, percussionist, bandleader, mistress of the funk & the sass...

...combines the best of soul funk a la prince with heavy latin grooves...if sheila e's stuff doesn't make you wanna move n' shake, you might wanna question if you're actually alive...

...learned from the best...her daddy pete escovedo, tito puentes & the whole latin contingent...

ge said...

Anon 12:51, perhaps you're onto something. I should look into my soul for deep seated pangs of empathy for the common Fred. Now if they were on clown bikes, I would have been devastated. There's nothing like being out-dorked and passed at the same time. Recumbent or not, I heard the heavy breathing of a Cat 6 in pursuit. Wasn't meaning to generalize about you and your 'bent.

paulb said...

I'm not saying I'm that kind of person, but if I were a person who thinks that fenders "spoil the lines" of a bike, whatever that means, I would have to reconsider after seeing the pictures of the Rutte.

africansingle said...

System That Rips All Vain Arseholes has claimed another...http://www.thehubsa.co.za/forum/topic/128390-wipeouts/

Anonymous said...

Mr. ge, Heavy breathing or not, recumbent guy caught up with the racers while holding a camera. As the proud owner of a Bike E, I couldn't have done it on a good day. What is really interesting after viewing the video again is that recumbent guy shows no animosity but pride in Holland’s racing culture. "Freds" would not show him the same respect (at least not American "Freds." Maybe European "Freds" are more tolerant).

Anonymous said...

Wildcat, out of respect, admiration and, what the hell, love I have to say that stem is too long. Your scranus must draft nicely, but no one wants to see it jutting out. I doubt you were measured for the frame and stem set up.

ge said...

Ohhh, I get it now. He was trying to be funny by using the term "accidentally". Okay, now I'm laughing with him. "This annoying race is slowing me down!". Hilarious! I mean, good on him for catching those guys.

I'm not overly familiar with David's humour although I've certainly come across his name over the years and no disrespect was meant towards him. I think the one time I read his blog he claimed he was quitting so I didn't go back. Well now look what you've done Anon, I'm now subscribed to Mr Hembrow's blog. Like I didn't already have more than enough to read.

babble on said...

Aaaaaand Robba the Fords is at it again, the nasty lout.

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Chris Horner carries a tool bag under his saddle... And he rides a crazily short top tube.

Anonymous said...

More than marginal gains

Anonymous said...

Friendo said...
Boris isn't a fop, he's a git.

March 8, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Actually, he's a c*nt.

Myknowledge-YourWeakness said...

If you are looking for already furnished apartments in New York City, feel free to look at findmybuilding com

Bob Patterson said...

BSNYC - When are you going to comment on the penchant of bike builders to turn $4 dollar tee shirts into $60 dollar tee shirt, by putting some lettering and graphics on it,and think it is a great/groovy/artistic thing. And WELL worth the money. b8bpattson@aol.com

Namera Rahman said...

Microsoft points and Xbox Live

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