Wednesday, December 5, 2012

It was the best of Wednesdays, it was the worst of Wednesdays.

Firstly, it's just been handed down from corporate that there will be NO MENTION OF "TROTIFY" ON THIS BLOG, because enough already:


(Struggling models who live hand-to-mouth being paid to look like rich executives.)

Secondly, I forgot the second thing.

Thirdly, I was talking (when I say "talking" I mean writing, I don't talk out loud while I type, mostly because I don't know how to pronounce most of the big words I use, or "utilize," which is what corporate wants me to say) about folding bikes awhile back, and here's a recommendation I received:


No!  Nononononono!  I will not ride this!  I will not ride this Fred-I-Am, and so forth.  It's far too too Seussian.  Sure, I may be willing to ride a clown bike, but I am not willing to ride something that looks like a step stool with a belt drive.  (Hey, we all have our thresholds for looking ridiculous, and while mine might be pretty high it's not that high.  At least not yet.  I'm still not ready for Stridas, recumbandts, tall bikes, or unicycles, and I pray to sweet Lob above that I'll never be.)  Also, who buys a bike like this and locks it up instead of folding it?  It's only saving grace is it's portability!  This is like those people in Brooklyn who live next-door to real pizza places but still order from Domino's.

Oh, wait, I just remembered the second thing, which is that I took another lunchtime ride yesterday.  Sure, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking, "Who the hell are you that you get to ride your bike at lunchtime?"  Well, I don't have to answer that, because the simple fact is that I earned the right to ride my bike at lunchtime once in awhile.  How?  With hard work, that's how!  (Obviously by "hard" I mean "easy," and by "work" I mean "not working.")  That's why I relate to Milt Romney, we both know what it's like to be resented by people who have to work for a living just because we don't.  Boo-hoo for you, maybe be born rich next time.

Also, it turns out that when you leave Brooklyn things improve tremendously, and you'd be amazed how wonderful cycling in New York can be when you're not completely surrounded by a bunch of fetid water and Queens.  (If you want to know what cycling in Queens is like, go to your nearest shopping mall and ride around in the parking lot.)

Anyway, I wouldn't even mention the lunchtime ride except there were two noteworthy things about it:

1) I fell down.

Obviously I'd expect this on a mountainous biking ride, but this was a garden-variety solo Fred ride, and the way I fell down was that I slipped on one of those metal plates.  This is particularly embarrassing because riding over metal plates is one of the most basic elements of New York City cycling--almost as basic as knowing that the yellow cabs want to kill you.  In fact, I think this may have been the first time in my life I've ever fallen off my bicycle because of one of those metal plates.  Sure, I've fallen off because I couldn't get out of my pedals.  I've fallen off because of slippery garbage water.  I've even fallen off while urinating.  But until yesterday I'd never been stupid enough to pedal my bicycle on wet metal, which suggests to me that my best cycling days are behind me and I'm officially regressing.  This is frightening because even at my best I totally sucked, and it's especially frightening because it probably indicates the trajectory of the entire rest of my life.

Mid.  Life.

Cri-sis.

Now that's good spondee.

2) There were pushpins everywhere.


It's a bit hard to see the pushpins in this picture, so here's a closer look:


If that was all I wouldn't think anything of it, but as I rode I kept seeing them, and they were scattered about in the shoulder for miles like sprinkles on a donut.  Now, I can only think of three reasons for this:

1) A truck full of loose pushpins had sprung a leak;

2) Some smartphoneless Luddite was driving around in a convertible with a heavily pushpin-annotated analog map:

or,

3) SABOTAGE!!!

As I continued to notice the little pushpins, I increasingly suspected number three.  Sure, it wasn't a huge amount of pushpins, but it was too many over too long a distance to have been an accident.  Plus, I was on route 9W, which is easily the most Fredly cycling corridor on the Eastern Seaboard, so if you had it in for the Lycra set and wanted to mess with them then this would certainly be the place to do it.  Also, people have been doing exactly this in Central Park for years.  Of course, in Central Park they use thumbtacks, which are much more effective and far more difficult to spot than rainbow-colored pushpins, but keep in mind that this part of route 9W runs through New Jersey, and cleverness and subtlety are not exactly hallmarks of the indigenous population.

At this point I wondered what I should do.  After all, somebody could be hurt.  A cyclist could have a blowout and crash, or a triathlete could see a tiny colored object in the road, panic, and crash.  Should I attempt to pick them up?  No, that would take days.  Should I call somebody?  I had no idea who to call.  In New York City we have 311, but in New Jersey I'm pretty sure all they have is Dial-A-Joke.  So eventually I just made the Fredly decision, which was not to let anything interfere with my stupid ride, even if it meant that someone else might be seriously hurt.

Nevertheless, I kept my eyes open for suspects.  Eventually, I noticed a minivan with Jesus stickers on it pulled over on the side of the road.  There were two parents and a young child, and I'm fairly sure that they were just helping the kid to relieve himself in the weeds, but I also saw the mother holding a small package of some kind, and I wondered if they could be bike-haters training their son to commit acts of office supply terrorism against their sworn enemy.  Of course, the only reason this even crossed my mind was the Jesus sticker, and I had to admit to myself that I am suspicious--perhaps overly so--of religious people.  Then I thought about what a shame that was, since all Jesus (or the people who invented him, as the case may be) ever talked about was peace and tolerance, yet here we are two thousand years later in a circle of hate and paranoia, and that just made me angry at Jesus, because I'm precisely the sort of miserable human being who gets to ride his bike during the week yet spends that time being suspicious of other parents and getting angry at Jesus.

Anyway, eventually I reached my turnaround point, where I turned around, because that's just what you do at a turnaround point, and then I happened upon a member of the Alpine, NJ police force, so I figured I'd tell him about the pushpins since it would seem to constitute a road hazard.  Leaving out any mention of sabotage, I simply told him there were a great many pushpins all over the road and it seemed kinda dangerous, and then he got a funny look on his face and said, "Maybe someone has a vendetta against cyclists."  The look suggested he thought this was highly unlikely yet at the same time tremendously appealing.  He also said something about how "There are enough bike accidents on 9W as it is," and I resisted the urge to ask him exactly how many of those involved triathletes, since I'd expect a figure on the order of 98%--though this is a bit unfair of me since I had fallen down for no good reason not an hour before.  Finally he said he'd notify the Department of Transportation, which I'm sure he didn't, and I went back home and ate two (2) sandwiches and a pickle.

In any case, I've already spent far more time writing about this non-incident than I did actually thinking about it at the time, but I guess the point of it all is that everybody should watch out for crap in the road.

Speaking of working and being rich, this:


I'm not even going to link to the stupid article because who cares, but it's worth noting that the struggling model pretending to be a millionaire is smelling his finger in the back seat of a limo, and it's amusing to speculate as to why.


Who says I don't work?  Sure, a lot of people look at photos and make juvenile associations, but very few take the thirty or forty seconds necessary to publish them on the Interent.

By the way, you know who likes to fingerbang?  This guy:


(Finger!  Bang!)

That's Alberto Contador.  He's a professional cyclist.  He's won an indeterminate amount of Grand Tours because it all depends on whether you ask him, the Spanish federation, the UCI, or WADA.  This is why cycling is now officially the lamest sport on the planet.  Nevertheless, there are people who think this Lycra-clad clusterfuck is worth "saving" for some reason, which is why there's now a "Charter of the Willing:"


That's quite an impressive mutual handjob administration committee they've assembled there.  If history is any guide, by the start of the 2013 cycling season they will have invaded Iraq.

By the way, if you're going to invade anybody, be sure to do it in a cape, as in this video forwarded to me by a friend:


Cleverhood & the Street Kings of New York from Cleverhood on Vimeo.

This cape is ideal for walking with your fixie:


Gesticulating to photographers:


Shrouding your hunchback:


Annoying you at any speed greater than 5mph:


And of course furtive wanking:


Presumably it was modeled on the cape worn by Frank Costanza's lawyer:


Looking forward to when they "drop" the Urban Sombrero.

147 comments:

Anonymous said...

DUDE!!!

Anonymous said...

SWEET!!!

Smoker said...

and... weeeeeeeed !!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Radtastic

Paul Bowen said...

Cache bastering error bollocks

Anonymous said...

You moved to Ct., didn't you? That's so cool...

Serial Retrogrouch said...

can't get used to these early posts... you must be mountain biking every day around lunch time.

Anonymous said...

I need Babble pants update, ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Garbage barge!

Anonymous said...

tep ton

McFly said...

Did you exchange a walk-on part in the war,

For a lead roll in a cage?(BICYCLING THE MAGAZINEtm)

Anonymous said...

the caped guy hittin it while in the drops has the dreaded toe out form of fred death

Fnarf said...

Hey! Goddamnit! I wear a cape, in the rain, and I'm...I'm...OK, I'm a giant dork. Point for snob.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Don't know how to pronounce? Easy. Glad you asked for help. It's pronounced "Tih-shan," not "Tit-ian"

wishiwasmerckx said...

For those of you who need to know:

Trotify.com.

Now you can hang out with the cool kids.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

hey, i furtively wanked inside a rain cape back when i was pubescent... it's awesome... everyone should try it at least once.

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and the Monty Python and the Holy Grail jokes just write themselves.

JB said...

FNGR BANG

Serial Retrogrouch said...

ladies should try it too... that means you, babble.

Anonymous said...

ZOD'll take a top twenty. (ZOD)

3G said...

WEEEEEEEED

babble on said...

Three early days in a row? Sweet!

babble on said...

Try what? Wanking inside a cape?

vantage said...

PUSH PINS

JB said...

Anon @ 11:13am: Even worse, he's not even in the drops.

Also, he's passing a "Pink Town" on the way down the steps. Must have something to do with the finger banging.

Anonymous said...

The urban sombrero was dropped in Seattle over 10 years ago, perhaps you need another book tour.

yesterdays blogulation was pretty damn funny.

Anonymous said...

Lagging today.

cycle

theEel said...

weed.

babble on said...

There are certain advantages to being a girl. For example, it's possible to "stimulate" oneself without acts of public wanking. Sans cape.

Aaaaaand... (this is for you Snobbums) If I want to take a picture of a hot girl on a bike, all I have to do is ask, and they usually stop, pose, and give me a biiiiiiig bright smile.

I love my life.

Anonymous said...

Inwood is physically bounded by the Harlem River to the north and east, and the Hudson River to the west. It extends southward to Fort Tryon Park and alternatively Dyckman Street or Fairview Avenue farther south, depending on the source.

It is rumored that the area was settled in 2012 by BSNY, his children, wives and man-servants .

Confucius said...

He who goes to bed with itchy butthole, always wakes up with smelly finger.

vantage said...

Yeah, but would a hottie stop for a hirsute wood nymph ?

Marcel Da Chump said...

Close call pushpin bang.

Anonymous said...

Snobby - If you bike in the great state of NJ it is possible to ride the entire state from shopping center parking lot to shopping center parking lot. (Refugee from NJ)

cycle

Anonymous said...

Blinded by the smoke... stuck in the pack... Wednesday Weed... heart att.... [end]

Anonymous said...

A team mate told me there's a picture of her at SSCXWC on Prolly's blog. So I look, and he's all about cyclocross now.

As someone with seven seasons of 'cross under my belt (and I'm one of the team newbies) I want an apology from every fixie rider that gave me shit about brakes.

Dr. Feel Good said...

Let me know when the Bro drops!

Big Al said...

Hey, P. Bateman, suck on deez nutz

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McFly said...

I am going mountaineous biking at 3:00 today on 1.6 miles of unpristine single-track in Murray, Ky and I am mildly hesitant because it rained last night and I have never been there but my tour guide has.

I may just get out of my Ford Exploder and roll around in the mud then throw my bike down a hill and GET ON WITH IT.

PREC RASH

babble on said...

re: update- think pink

Comment deleted said...

Hey Big Al,

Fuck off.

vantage said...

McFly,
when you say you'll be getting it on with yer mountainous cycling bicycle on a hill of mud, will you be on top or on the bottom ?

Comment deleted said...

Babs, you're taking Snob's smackdown of the Strida very gracefully, I must say.

vantage said...

silent treatment is more like it.

it always solves the problem.

P. Bateman said...

normally when i see the various horrible things people are funding on kickstarter i just want them to fail - miserably.

but so help me christmas i want Trotify to get enough money to pump out thousands of those things just so i can Skream with delight when i see, er, hear someone pass by with one.

god hipsters are just an insatiable bunch the way they pump out all manner of idiot crap. i guess they are just like the yuppies of old, but much more smug, annoying, anorexic,effeminate and flannel-y.


hey Big Al, why suck on D's nuts? what did i do?

mikeweb said...

You're on 9W, cycling north, when all the sudden you look down... you look down and see a push pin, Snob. It's blue... and you reach down but don't pick it up. There's more push pins all over the road and you don't pick them up. They need to be picked up, but you're not helping. Why aren't you helping, Snob!

Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... Your Ritte.

Rides in Rain said...

I'm intrigued by ponchos and capes, but my cheapie plastic one, not so good.
Has anyone tried the perfect one from Rivendell?

Comment deleted said...

"My Ritte. I'll *tell* you about my Ritte!" Blam! (Dis-incorporation ensues).

Voight-Kampff my ass.

yankees suck said...

cyclocross - it's like bike commuting in Boston except with better infrastructure.

crosspalms said...

@Rides in Rain
I have a Carradice cape, which is similar to the Rivendell. I like it, but it does have a few downsides: in any kind of wind, your legs and feet get wet (those Rivendell Splats are a big help) and it acts like a sail (wind behind, yay; wind in face, boo); in city traffic, arm signals are a pain cause you have to hike the thing up to free your arm. But it's often better than a rain jacket cause it doesn't lock your sweat inside (still waiting for an actual breathable fabric...), especially in warm weather.

Lucid Bikes said...

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus"

Jesus Quintana

McFly said...

I am usually behind. If you know what I mean. And I believe you do.

I am very generous with the reach-around. As long as there is a reverse reach-around on the horizon.

Were those all the map locations that the Luddite riding around in a convertible got runned over by a Monster Truck(tm) visiting the south? There should be WAAAAYYY more.

babble on said...

Comment Deleted - It's in his nature - I expected nothing less. I am secure in my dorkiness, or tackiness or garishness or whatever you want to call it.

Buffalo Bill said...

I've been suspicious of jeesus and his followers for many years. I mean, how come they are so stingy with the wine if he can just make more?

grog said...

So, if you ride down to exit 3, then i'll buy you lunch, and we can talk about what you want for clausemass.

Anonymous said...

The Snob seems to have moved from Park Slope to what is affectionately known by locals as Park Slope North aka Inwood.

Anonymous said...

I just read your blog post in the voice of Dr Sheldon Cooper from the hit TV show "The Big Bang Theory".

It was soo much funnier coming from Dr. Cooper.

And admit it, you had to really think about describing your threshold for folding bike embarrassment - would it be a "high" threshold or a "low" threshold.

How does that work anyways?

McFly said...

I would gladly ride that Earth-toned Strida. On one (1) condition.

I am allowed to fashion the top tube to resemble a big blue-vein throbbing schlong.

Jus' rock that bitch up and down the quad.......

"Well sure Brittany, I will show you how it folds...just grab right here....."

Cristobol de Santa Cruz said...

YeahThe Ambiguously Gay Duo capes are "out" and on the streets! "Mount" your "unicorns" and ride the lightning to the end of the rainbow!

Paul Jr said...

FINGER BANG!!

Anonymous said...

Am I missing something? I thought all masturbation was furtive.

paulb said...

If In Trade hadn't been shut down we could open up the betting on the folding bike. As small-when-folded is a goal, and obviously money is no object, Brompton might be the way to bet.

Anonymous said...

Just googled Trotify.

Ok, I'd say we're pretty much done here.

Good luck, Neptunians!

leroy said...

That ain't working. That's the way you do it. Money for nothing and you ride tack free.

(I want my, I want my good spondee.)

I rode River Road on Monday looking for wet leaves (none really) instead of tacks. Nice ride. Stayed off that part of 9W.

My dog wants you to post the link to the article about fewer rich people because he saw that it has a link called "Millionaires' Pets."

He wants to see if there's an application form.

I wonder how he feels about being roof racked?

Dooth said...

Fold threshold...there you go...would you look at the size of the crank on that Strida! The well-hung dwarfs of bikes. It does have sex apparatus geometry.

Cipo said...

I have never tested positive for banned substances. But! Back in the day I did recirulate my massive personal reserve of testosterone through a network of tubing that wended its way through my helment thereby being repeatedly fried by the sun. Refried testosterone is not a banned substance people. It is the AWESOME!

Jan! said...

"Fingerbang!" always reminds me of "Numberwang!", a fine piece of British humour. Y'know, Britain, with the original New England, where they done made them Bromp'uns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjOZtWZ56lc

Anonymous said...

pay my own bills
so get off my tits
you can kiss my ass
if you don't like the way that I live

uh, okay.

Red Sox Blow said...

Pootie Tang is a Street King of New York???

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:00 - Definitly Inwood. a quick ride to highbridge for some mountain biking and also over the GW bridge to 9W for some roadbikecycling. Maybe not the safest neighborhood in manhattan but certainly well positioned for afternoon bike rides. So snob basically sacrificed the safety and wellbeing of his family for his selfish desire for afternoon bike rides. It's good to see that someone around here has their fucking priorities in order. Although I'm sure he convinced Mrs wildcat to move up to the siberia of manhattan under the guise of better schools and a larger apartment. Well done you crafty son of a bitch.

bikesgonewild said...

...ummm...ahhh...hmmm...i got nothin'...

...is it wednesday ???...

...& why is 'wednesday' spelled that way anyway ???...

...sheesh !!!...

ken e. said...

sumthin' to do with a dude named wodin!

NORS GUYZ
TRIA NGLE
FUNI TUBE

Anonymous said...

Spuyten Duyvil! Gotcha!

Noel Douche' Dr. of Pootie-Tangeology said...

Sha! Dah! Tay!

Anonymous said...

How dare you. A nice woman was telling me about a bad fall she took on her bike while training for a triathlon and I was forced to laugh. Thanks for making me an asshole.

mikeweb said...

Anon 3:38 hit the nail on the head.

Bear Mt. And back from my place in Brooklyn is about 110 miles. From the Bronx's coccyx, it's not even a century ride. Also, if Snob decides to do a deep dive into Fred-dom and participate in the 'Gimbels' or the Rocket ride, he's all set.

Vegas said...

But if you are biekcickling at lunchtime, when are you eating lunch?

Comment deleted said...

That photo of ersatz movers/shakers and job creators makes me long for a comically over-sized bowling ball.

Anonymous said...

Why the suspicion of Jesus?

Don't you remember the Burrito Project?

It also must be said that the term "clever hood" has officially jumped the shark.

Walter Sobchak said...

Eight year olds, Dude.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:38pm: As an Inwood person, I hope it's true. I've personally been running short of people to mug, and would welcome the new meat. Brooklyn, of course, is heaven.

Jesus' Dad said...

On the 13th day...I created babbles calves.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, I was betting that today's post would begin by referencing the lyrics to "Too shy, shy" by Kajagoogoo.

I was way off on that one.

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Anonymous said...

oh man that video was pathetic...Good job son, I might not like how you live your life but at least you (mostly) pay your own bills. What are they like 34?

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Anonymous said...

mikeweb must have meant Anon 4:04, since he referenced the Bronx's coccyx. There's a building in Spuyten Duyvil set on a cliff overlooking the Hudson River...if that's Wildcat's new lair, I'll scream.

Martian Anus said...

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leroy said...

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I was just wondering what to get my dog for the holidays and all of a sudden the perfect gift just popped into my head.

Skin bleaching and tattoo removal of course.

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

Anonymous said...

Now that's style!

Jimboner said...

It must have been hard for you to lay back and let the Cleverhoodies mock themselves.

Rollie Fingers said...

Babs, RE "garishness": Fuck that bitch.

Rollie Fingers said...

If you're surrounded by fetid water and Queens, you're in Brooklyn. If you're surrounded by fetid water and queens, you're cruising a men's room.

babble on said...

Good point, Buffalo Bill... If I were Jesus, EVERYONE would be drunk ALL the time.

Do you think he smoked weed, or was it just the people who invented him?

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P. Bateman said...

Hey Big Al - i'm ready and hope you are full of spondee.

babble on said...

They keep asking whether you have issues with hackers, but they delicately avoid asking whether you have issues with spammers...

babble on said...

Ooooooooooh! You go, girl!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

SEUS SIAN

babble on said...

Leroy - I think you might have to convince him to wax first...

babble on said...

Snob, it seems you wiped out in two out of two rides this week.

We may be related.

Comment deleted said...

Babs, I used your "If you can read this..." joke in rehearsal last night. Big laugh. The drummer laughed a little too much, if you ask me.

babble on said...

He's probably a bass player in disguise.

Anonymous said...

LD in the buildin

Anonymous said...

What would Bicycling Magazines and crabon bike manufacturers do without Bicycling Racing. The Republcan Industrial Complex must have done an analysis and discovered that there are gazillions of potential 'new Freds" out there that require marketing visions of "uber Freds" to coax them into buying expensive bikes and stuff.

Cipo said...

Chowing down on the whole state of New Jersey. Hope none of these babes have any clenbuterol in their meat.

McFly said...

The trail was covered with leaves but still mucho fun. Some FAST, rooty downhills.

I made the rookie mistake of staring at a root on an off-camber.....opposite a creek. I zigged when I should have zagged but still managed to get it gathered back up before I went in the drink.

Maybe it's time to take the suspension plunge like RCT.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

The most valuable lesson I learned on the trail today: I'm an idiot I should have invested in a dual suspension bike 10 years ago.

Anonymous said...

Pro cycling is dead...no ones even cares enough to bury the corpse.

babble on said...

RIP Dave Brubeck...
He's gone to that great gig in the sky where he'll always have the best bass players.

Big Al said...

P. Bateman, that's good spondee. Good game Saturday. One for the ages.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey babs I was listening to Shirley the other day. I love when she breaks into Neil Young's "Old Man" near the end of her "Old Man" song. Damn shes funny.

Anonymous said...

Now we get to listen to how BGW and Dave Brubeck were best friends. Man that guy knows all the cool musicians.

I got drunk with the drummer from RATT once. Cool guy.

McFly said...

Yo RCT is 500 cool one's for a Sette Razzo HT with 29 Stans NoTubes and XT Crank plus saddle, and bars/stem a good deal? Also a good fork. No shifters or Deraillers/deruillers/dereuillillererillers though.

o'Bama said...

i smell class envy here, lemmings

Pistil said...

What kind of sandwiches?

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
babble on said...

RCT: IIIIIII KNOW!! Not to, like, name drop or anything, BUT I was chatting to her on Facebook the other night. :D She couldn't sleep, so she was planning to drop books on old people passing by.

I suggested orgasms.

She said that funnily enough they are books about masturbation.

The man figured at least the old people wouldn't get hurt, cause they would see her coming.

And plus she wouldn't go to jail, cause she would always get off.

I swear he knows Leroy's dog.

mungibli said...

Wild cat, here's a book you can read on your lunch break!

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/05/books/martin-amis-the-biography-by-richard-bradford.html?_r=0

Anonymous said...

But if you do ride a Strida, each time you reach your destination you get to announce to all; "Wildcat Rock Machine has been brought to you today by the letter 'A'."

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Anonymous said...

You know that I am Tyler's chimera. Which makes Tyler my chimera. Only difference being he is a doper and I am not.

Interested in owning a previously enjoyed Olympic gold medal?

bikesgonewild said...

..."...RIP Dave Brubeck..."...yep...i believe he will...

...the thought of his passing brings a tear to my eye & yet the thought of his wonderful years on this earth brings a smile to my heart...

...one day shy of his 92 birthday, he moved on to join so many of his illustrious contemporaries & his faith allowed him to believe that he just might meet up & once again jam with all those cool jazz kats n' chicks...(true story)...

...also true...brubeck, trained on the keyboard by his mom who was a classical pianist, learned the concept of 'polyrhythms' whilst riding a horse during cattle drives on a ranch in nor-cal that his father managed...

...the steady 'clip clop' of hooves on dirt provided one basic constant rhythm & out of boredom with those hours in th saddle, he would sing along in counterpoint, making up melodies & rhythms...

...that, my friends, is a delightful thing to know about a man who, along with his contemporaries, provided so much wonderful & provocative music to this world...

...& nope, anon 9:28pm...never met him...born in the bay area, his genius was a gift he shared with the world...

...'take five', mr brubeck...& thank you...

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Flammer said...

So what is Stink Finger Contador (first 'o' pronounced as a 'u' in his Madridish dialect) saying as he points his reeking digit at the audience? Being somewhat confident about his person, it has been suggested that a masculine perfume can be extracted from his prostate.

Fucking capes. Tossers. They're not going to get back the cost of that pretentious vid. Can imagine some dopey fucker being blown off a bridge, smashed into a bicycle boutique window or propelled aloft to a height that ensures total orthopedic disintegration upon reconnection with tarmac. Of course they'll hoot like an orgasmic Mary Poppins until gravity wins.

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Anonymous said...

Babble will you please explain to us the difference between a "reach-around" and a "reverse-reach-around"?

leroy said...

Oh dear lob, last night was Karaoke Night at my place for my dog and his riding buddies.

They got drunk and did an ironic version of "Cats."

Why can't they play poker like normal dogs?

And now my dog is bragging that Babs offered to give him a Brazilian.

I don't think he knows what that is.

McFly said...

Speaking of cats. I sat there in my shop and watched mine lick his balls until he got a little flame-red semi-chub.

He paused and looked up as if to say, "I'm not showing off I am just demonstrating why I basically never leave this shop".

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Hey McFly the Sette stuff is OK. I have a couple friends that ride Sette bikes and they like them.

Now about the hardtail you do what you want. If your purpose is to go fast in cross-country races then go for it but if you want to have a good time I encourage you to consider a bike with a springy thing on the back wheel

McFly said...

The more I study on it I am thinking I like my mountainous bikes like I like my women. Easy to control and soft in the back. Also, with good resale value.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

@ McFly -The parallels are amazingly similar.

J said...

wouldn't mind riding that strida, looks dope, so to speak.

crosspalms said...

babbles,
At least one of Dave Brubeck's bass players is still here, his son Chris, who also plays trombone. I never saw Dave play, but saw Chris in the 70s when he was bassist in a funk band called Sky King (one album, a great one called Secret Sauce). RIP Dave, and condolences to Chris & rest of family.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford has been known to post 2 or more times in a single day.

FYI. HTH. TTYL.

babble on said...

BGW - Are you telling me that Brubeck might have liked trotify??! That we mightn't have had that wonderful 5/4 syncopation without the clip clop of horses hooves (or coconuts)??

anon@ 8:08 - You'll have to ask McFly to be sure, but I do know that the man likes it when I reach around and ... oh, sorry. Nearly spouted off with TMI!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Leroy - my dog says if your dog is ever in PA stop by. He knows a cute female lab and where his owner keeps his weed.

cycle

bikesgonewild said...

...babbles, bangles n' beads...i'll bet brubeck would have gotten a huge kick out of 'the trotifier' had he seen one...

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