(Click here to hear the sound of syphilis!)
Subsequently, various people commented and emailed to inform me that syphilis is not a virus and is actually a bacteria or something like that, or at least not a virus. I'm not sure why my readers are so knowledgeable about STDs, but for whatever reason many of you are clearly troubled by syphilis defamation, and therefore I apologize for my mistake. However, I will point out in my own defense that I at least spelled "syphilis" correctly, which is more than I can say for some of the people who corrected me.
Second of all, yesterday I also mentioned a ride to Far Rockaway to deliver supplies. I will actually be joining that ride, and because it leaves shortly today's post will only have 66 more words in it, plus one picture. Tomorrow I will return with regular updates, but in the meantime please exercise your right to vote, unless you're legitimately disenfranchised, or else a citizen of some godless foreign power like Canada or Portland, Oregon, where the vote doesn't even matter anyway because all they do is write in the name of their favorite framebuilder.
Love,
--Wildcat Rock Machine
115 comments:
balls™
Polio
Dag!
Wait podio. Stupid I pad
Syphilis is a STD? I thought it was something you got on your mouth when you siphoned gas from hapless school busses.
Well I guess all we have to look forward to today is the scintillating banter between Babs and McFly. Lets see if they can top their 300 posts from yesterday.
TOOP TEEN
ERLY BRDS
Number 9, Number 9
here
cycle
I like the guy who said, "I have a car that can carry lots of supplies, can I come?"
Top twenty; early!
Can't get on your nerves today. Going on a Big Ass Ride(tm) that includes....a what?.....A motherhumpin' Ferry Crossing.
AYHSMFP
(All You Haters Suck My Ferry Portage)
When the hills start to break my spirit(there will be hills) my thoughts and fancies will turn to B.O.'s Pool Table Green Skirt, a place where balls are welcome and tips are preferred unchalked.
Shlepping some supplies on the Big Dummy. You're alright Wildcat I don't care what the rest of 'em say.
BSNYC for President?
Good on ya snob.
Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics!
top 20!
Sacha White for Prez in 2030, after he clears his backlog.
Have fun portaging your kayak-yabbie. Nothing beats better.
Bees blood.
XX
are you riding the ferry,or the fairy?
Lob speed good deeds.
In commie Canada, president votes for YOU! ... no wait, that doesn't sound right ...
Maybe you could bring some Cipo Brand hair oil to the poor souls on the Jersey Shore. There must be enough room for the 50 gallon size on the SBD....
BOING!
also...
weed.
Thanks for the link to the BOY-YOY-YOY-YOING sound. It's kinda cool and since you're off being a good-deed-doer of the smug-tard variety, I'll just have to entertain myself with this instead.
Or I'll just think about Frilly.
AYHLMPC
All You Haters Lick My Pink Canoe.
cause I like it...
^ +1
babble just made the internet go boing!
Is it true Babble is a 49 year old 260 lb man?
WOOOOOT! I voted for Obama, gay marriage, and legal weed! And I don't have a job. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
What I learned at the Greenmarket last weekend:
CIPOLLINI = "Full flavored onion that can be used raw in salads, or on a sandwich. May be sauteed, or used in any stew, soup, or casserole."
Why do we hear so much about this here?
Babble I didn't know you were into water sports. Nice!
virus or bacteria, brain rot is brain rot
Smug on, good brother.
I had a girl spring syphilis on me once.
Hope you get a tailwind for your deliveries WCRM!
@anon 11:58 You wish, you fucking wish
Derek Bailey for president then!
Just gotta love the sound of the Pink Canoe Paddler dishing out a resounding slap ;)
Do us proud Snobbers.
If you see Babe, say hey.
I Came ...
I Saw ...
I came again ...
and again!
Hmmm, hadn't checked the boioioinggg.
Vote early, vote often.... please, not the bampot one?
hey nonny mouse
I wouldn't call it scintillating...zzz
Good for you, Wildcat, hope the ride goes well.
Voted, but did not write in Grant Petersen. No offense, Grant.
I can just hear it with WCRM in the White House-
Young staffer walks into the Oval Office: "Mr President Please! Put some pants on"
President Rock Machine: "As the leader of the free world if I want to lead with no pants by Lob I will. Where's my fresh bagels?"
@Anon 11:58 - and Leroy IS his dog.
"Syphilis is neither a virus, nor a bacteria, it is a lifestyle."
--Mario Cipollini
Mario Sypholini is a lifestyle
"Make Froot Loops, Not War!" - Snob/Recumbabe '16
Eating the pink canoe.
heh heh - smug-tard...
I'll never grow up.
Yeah Snob, if you see Babe, say hey...
take a ride on the wild side
do do do do doo do do do do doo
...in a pink canoe.
howzabout delivering a daily dose of satire, Snob? Leave the hungry cold masses to starve.
Good for you, Snob! Our LA Times newspaper had an article today about conditions at the "Red Hook West" project in Brooklyn; those folks need all the help they can get [still no water nor electricity]. My helmet's off to you and the other ride participants [whomever you are going to assist].
C'mon, guys. Paddling the vaginal shoreline in a pink canoe? I'm trying to get some work done here!
@Anon 2:35, but just think how awesome tomorrow will be with all the photos and comments on today's Smugness Armada. It's going to be his most awesome post ever! Okay, so I'm building myself up for disappointment. But if you don't want to be disappointed, you shouldn't read this blog. Avast ye backfiets! Land ho!
WIWM, it's a ploy to get this blog blocked on our work computers so the 47% can have the comments section to themselves. 99% isn't exclusive enough.
What is that sound? The insipid dripping of a narcissistic pink canoe?
Boioing.
(sings...)
Spring is here, spring is here.....
hey nonny mouse
I started in the pink canoe and paddled super hard but ended up in a brown dingy. Weird. I need a tic tac. And a napkin.
Google bots are not triggered by pink canoes. It's a different c word which sets them off, as adsense is more than happy to let me know.
Cipolingus - who YOU calling narcissistic?? HMMM?
THE PINK CANOE...I just got the title for the porn flick I'm hoping to direct...is there a Kickstarter for this kind of stuff...Cockstarter, perhaps?
ugh. seriously, this comment section used to be funny and mostly about bikes and stuff. I guess I'm in the minority based on the uptake of the new limited set of topics, but as a long-time reader I'm starting to avoid the comments section now.
Are we getting cursed-out in Russian?
awww...woo hoo...o.k no more sexy talk. Beefy bottom brackets and long stems from now on!
And crabon.
The weather was cold today my friends. 44 mostly. Except on the ferry where it was -27. The lake was angry, like an old jew trying to send back bacon at a deli.
BACK BACN
This is bike-bicycling related.
Thanks g-roc for the mental image of the Smugness Armada. Because yes even if we get actual images, they will be in the traditional Snobway: low res and blurry. I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea. Yarrrrr.
the difference there is that beefy bottom brackets and long stem jokes are funny and not so overdone.
Sorry, just my opinion.
anon 3:40,
bikes "and stuff", that leaves it kind of wide open.
Canoes are OK but they always get wet inside. Especially if you "paddle" them.
SPAN KASS
Anon @ 3:40: Please reconsider! What would we do if you were to leave us? It's just too horrible to contemplate.
Babble was busy slamming my stem when her steel bottom bracket let loose and...Oh forget it.
All this laughter, whether from pink canoes or long stems, which I have to stifle, for office etiquette sake, may pose a health risk. I hope this blog is still around when I retire.
syphilis is not a bacteria, it's an occupational hazard.
Yeah, I thought we were just having a nice conversation about personal watercraft.
Personally I like kayaks. With the smaller hole you fit tighter into it and drips from the paddle just roll harmlessly off the deck.
The spot where you sit in a kayak is called a cockpit.
Anon@ 3:40,
Are you hating it? Are you a hater?
Go on then. You know what to do.
RCT- You see? Sweet serendipity... :)
Where is the "Poop Deck" I hear so much about? Fore or aft? Port or starboard?
Uranus.
Babble its time for a new avatar. More Babble, less basket.
delivering a hot steaming pile of smugness.
Rescuing the little man in Babble's tiny pink canoe must become a national priority.
Don't forget to vote.
yep. He's drowning.
Anon 3:40, the first 20 posts are consistently garbage and the internet is 99% porn; it's never easy to find what you're looking for. You're one of our most prolific posters. Without Anonymous, this would be all McBabble, all the time. Stay in the mix.
Or was that McBabs, I forgot already. Never caught on like I thought it would. Sorry, CD, I tried.
Smugness flotilla, HO!
I did not pedal my by-cycle to the polls to-day. It was raining, so I took the bus. Actually, it was my sweet Ford LTD. I would rather have paddled a pink canoe, or a brown dingy, but I had to get to work, and those things slow me down consider-a-babble. But I did get to vote for Romney, legal weed isn't on our ballot, gay marriage is already good here, and THEN I went to my job, and drank damn good coffee all day. Back on the bike tomorrow!
Went out of my way on my homeward commute to vote. Still not even close to Epic.
FWIW, I prefer canoes to kayaks. The strokes are just a bit more arcane, and that makes me feel all smug.
I prefer motor-boating to any other form of watercraftways. All that power at your fingertips...its......intoxicating. Nothing like pouring the power to your big Johnson and churning those murky depths and feeling the spray as it gently caresses your hot skin.
You nattering nabobs of negativism can suck my nabob
Syph is caused by the Spondeechete which results in an incorrectly metered peter.
Scouts. The reason I have assembled you around the campfire this fine evening is the following. ALWAYS WEAR A HELMENT! Even if she swears that she is a virgin ALWAYS WEAR A HELMENT.
Pantani shave your palms immediately!
All this talk of watercraft has reminded me of a clever limerick I learned here a couple of years ago:
There once was a trapper named Weaver
Who had an affair with a beaver
The result of that fuck was a canvasback duck
two canoes and a golden retriever.
Yo! Classic improv! And bikes!
Anon 12:01
Fellow Washingtonian here. I also voted for Obama, gay marriage, and legal weed.
Already married, and don't smoke - but it's not about me!
BIKE THE VOTE!
Anon 9:00 is the coolest!
George W Bush rode a mountain bike. What kind was it?
W rode a presidential Specialized Bushwacker!
Ha! My future son-in-law just said he is moving to Canada since Obama won. See what a college education gets you? Ironical.
When I imagine the epic heights of smugness transcended by Wildcat Relief Machine today all I can hear in my mind is: 2012 A Smug Odyssey
Comment 100
Podium, 2nd flight!
FS: Fred DeLorean
Where is everybody? Still paryting after Obama said last night that his first item of business this morning would be getting bike lanes built between Williamsburg, Brooklyn; Austin, TX; and Portland, OR?
When we remove the sex it gets pretty hollow. Bikes and stuff. That's where it's at. It's why we do what we do. Bikes. Well no, sex is why we do what we do. But you can use the bike to get to the sex.
BOOT YCAL
ONWH EELS
And some of us can ride our bikes LICKety split....
yup, and I take a licking and keep on ticking, too...
In my head, I'm now designing a tandem with Babble in the rear and McFly in front. But McFly is in upside-down recumbent position with his head buried. Lickety-split! I'll call Tom Ritchey.
The cold ferry ride beat me down so hard that I actually TURNED IT DOWN last night. Wifey was walking around like that robot on Lost in Space...WIFECONFUSEDWIFECONFUSEDWIFECONFUSED.....
I feel much better today...
that's not syphilis, that's the spring from inside my blackburn pump that went all hari-kari on me when the pump innards unscrewed themselves from being on my bike without being used for a long time. Reassembly with ample Nobel-level guesswork regarding the correct configuration of the spring and tiny valve stud thing and a tiny tiny f'ing tiny o-ring thang all had a happy ending.
Sardonic: bitterly ironical; sarcastic. derived - from a Sardinian plant said to bring on convulsions resembling laughter).
@leroy: Did you see how donkeydong cut and pasted that innocent labrador in a tupperware onto the front rack?. (tacky use of English, these run-on sentences and tacky marketing to abuse canine rights so blatantly) http://donkybike.com/gallery/
awwwwwwwwwww....these comments are are just great...hahahh loved them all!
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