Rest assured that nothing will change, and that the blog you've grown to know and become indifferent to you will be the very same one that "jumped the shark" about 4.5 years ago. The only real difference is that I'm now $75 richer and riding around on one of Mike Sinyard's crabon fribé brainfarts. Also, I've agreed that images of the rider known colloquially as "Recumbabe:"
(Recumbabe does Canada, by BKJimmy.)
Will heretofore be replaced with photographs of Ann Romney:
(I don't know what she's baking, but it looks fucking delicious.)
Also, there's going to be a print version of the blog, and I'm modeling the design after "Cycling World," as forwarded to me by a reader:
If you haven't read their latest feature, "Water Bottles: A Convenient And Practical Way to Stay Hydrated While Biking," then you owe it to yourself to pick up a copy wherever fourth-tier periodicals are sold.
Oh, there's also one other thing, which is that they want me to increase my coverage of new cycling products by roughly 600%, since pictures of naked ladies on recumbents "Don't make money for nobody," as the head of their accounting department put it to me over coffee and threats as he cracked his knuckles. The only problem is that I don't get much by way of new product solicitation, since most manufacturers recognize the fact that I'm what is called "an idiot" in bicycle industry jargon. In fact, pretty much the only company to make any overtures to me in the past few months has been Budnitz Bicycles, which should give you an idea of how pathetic I am.
Fortunately, as I rummaged through my electronic inbox this morning, I found a message from a company called "SlingFin," who wanted me to mention the combination pannier/backpack called the "Honey Badger" that they're currently flogging on the Kickstarter:
268 comments:
1 – 200 of 268 Newer› Newest»Videolicious!
weed!
turd
shucks
Top ten at the end of the season.
Getting bette as gilbert
Will try Worlds next month
me
cycle
Nice Cactus!
i have a love/hate relationship with the innernets...
Top whatever
TOOP ELVN
Good job Mikeweb. I was totally prepared for the Just Kidding GILF and still managed to Pearl my Izumi's a lil bit.
eating pussy
I used to think WCRM was nice, but now I think he's just mean firing Recumbabe so Ann Romney can have a job.
Top twenty unread! Looks long, though.
I guess if buddy is gonna ride like that, the chainring tattoo goes with the territory.
I would load that mom up with 14 feet of bamboo. Plus tip, of course.
Pinardaredevil.
I bet Lauren has the harriest vag you have ever seen in your life.
"Shrewdly they're using it outside, since those first few clackety-clacks should result in plenty of fleeing mice and roaches." I nearly peed myself. Thanks for the yucks.
Funny, I watched the Pinarello freestyle-gasm viddy over on FaceSpace right before visiting Snobville and seeing it again. That part at the end when the 2 hotty mechanics slather WD-40 all over the down tube and crank was a pleasant surprise.
I'll be right back - going to buy some WD-40.
And then I saw this at the very end of 'Snob's' post:
I could do most of those things but I choose not to.
dd
So, we're supposed to believe that Snobby still writes these things every day when it's obvious that today's was written by none other than David Duchovny?
Some of the following comments should not be read.
Those cookie are especially delicious.
They're made with CRACK!!!
Are they going to build bikes out of that bamboo?
My Pinarello didn't come with two hotties to scrub it down after I do my impressive bike handling manuevers. Although I am not sure if avoiding a pot hole is impressive, unless you've ridden with me before. Based on the age of my bike, they would be ex-hotties...nevermind.
If Rodale ever gives you the hook, let us know. Then I can cancel my subscription.
There's no reason the read Bicycling since there are only so many ways to describe crabon bike riding frames, and you nailed it a few years ago before this blog started to suck.
balls™
My dog claims the Pinarello video looks like his commute to work.
I'm not buying it though.
He's not a working breed.
FREE SHIT
TYPE WRTR
PINA RELO
BIKE JUMP
BOOB BOOB
I see you're selling out just like that Fatcyclist guy.
It's about time.
I'm jealous of the Red Hook philosophy professor quoted in the leaded chicken eggs article. He has an honest relationship with his livestock.
I was incredibly amazed by the SlingFin and was seriously considering it and then I saw their demo-bike had the rear skewer in the 6:00 p.m. orientation/persuasion/position and I completely lost inter.....e...s...t...
They may not make money, but pictures of naked ladies on recumbents make people happy...
and at least you can get away with posting them, wildcat. Unlike some of us, who get shut down by adsense for "adult content..."
Today I will pretend I am the honey badger, who just doesn't give a shit.
I'm send ing themm a check for $170,000 immediately!! Ability to pick your child's toys out of the trash: Priceless.
SLIN GFIN
Two things.
1) In the real world, Dad's bike would have been gone when he left the shop, and Mom was probably having a torid fling with the "plant guy".
2) Road bike party....I've done a few of those things, and hurt myself badly doing them.
.
.
She was a two-week freak.
Bringing dinner home for the kids, never can get enough of artist-anal bamboo.
Is there no depths to which kick-starter leeches drop to. Looks like a wussies day pack to me.
I am not known to be a giver of fucks.
clysterium donare
My dog lost a sweet opportunity to be the spokescanine for the HoneyBadger.
The folks at SlingFin got nervous when he kept referring to it as the HoneyBucket.
The joke he kept repeating in a Yiddish accent didn't help either:
Gottlieb pulls up to the Miami Fontainbleu Hotel on his Surly Big Dummy and tells the concierge: "I vant three bellhops right avay." The concierge says "absolutely, Mr. Gottlieb, right away, sir."
Gottlieb says: "The first bellhop should carry mine luggage." The concierge replies: "Absolutely Mr. Gottlieb, right away sir."
Gottlieb then says: "The second bellhop should carry mine vife's luggage." Again, the concierge replies: "Absolutely, Mr. Gottlieb, right away sir."
Finally, Gottlieb says: "And the third bellhop should carry mine dog in this feinshmeker HoneyBadger tote thingy."
The concierge gasps: "Oh I'm so sorry Mr. Gottlieb. I didn't know the poor dog couldn't walk."
To which Gottlieb replies: "Oh he can valk. But thanks Got, he doesn't haf to."
Before that bag can be fully worthy of bearing the name 'Honey Badger', it needs to be able to chase a King Cobra up a tree and then bit off its head.
Ok that roadie freestyle shit was crazy.
I see Pie Plates!
Honey badger... No indeed! In fact you are well known for not giving even the tiniest of fucks.
Mikeweb... exactly!
Some people call it a SlingFin, I calls it a KiserFin.
That Xtracycle nonsense was filmed in Berkeley. Sadly, that is EXACTLY what Berkeley is like... I know first hand. They must have edited out the scene where they shop at REI for a couple hours, and then go down to the Marina Green to fly kites.
Damn Wildcat, jumping the shark is one thing but you may have landed in the Wal-Mart that's now a subsidiary of Specialized.
That Xtracycle nonsense was filmed in Berkeley. Sadly, that is EXACTLY what Berkeley is like... I know first hand. They must have edited out the scene where they shop at REI for a couple hours, and then go down to the Marina Green to fly kites.
MOREXTRACYCLECACTUSMILFORIMAFUCKINKILLYA
As long it's got room fer my French fried pataters, I don't cares whatcha call it.
Eddie 2:29,
That is too funny, as a former Berkeley resident.
Thought it was formed in California, but didn't see it all the way through.
Think you forgot the excursion to Berkeley Bowl for organic goods.
Jeebus that was a funny fuckin' post. Tears running down my cheeks and into my Pho reading that xtracycle post. Wildcat scores bigtime! Pho is now too salty.
Danny Macaskill's cousin did some impressive stunts, but I'm pretty sure that he voided the Pinarello warranty. I now want to see Stanley Wiggins perform some stunts on his Sky team issue bike.
BTW, he may stunt ride like a mofo, but he stomps on the pedals when just riding normally. He needs to smooth out his pedal stroke to maximize efficiency. I recommend some time on the rollers.
The only thing that could've made that video better would have been, when the rider's face was revealed, we find that it was Cavendish the whole time!
@wannabemerycx,
true peddle stompage spaz. also, I call BS on the sandtrap backflip- must be some hard sand.
The soundtrack to the free-road video is exactly what I had in mind for yesterday's inspirational poster: uplifting and bombastic with occasional clunking noises.
That's no trailer, that's sidecar of smugness. Very different.
Wow, Snob got $75 [or $7,500 Canadian pesos] for a 2-bit bike blog! Par-tay! I'll bring the bamboo and pinwheels. Just let me finish banging out this comment on the Smith-Corona...
Two hot chicks and a water hose usually ends in sex, but no, it was for the Pinarello.
Last week a Mormon bike post. This week, Ann Romney. WCRM is endorsing the candidate promising a tax cut. But little does he know money will be inflated to Weimar Republic levels and rendered worthless.
Babe wishes granted.
Cut me some slack chief, I was climbing her but only to canyoneer.
why do you insist on calling the sidecar a trailer?
It's an integrated trailer.
But it's not trailing.
Speaking of sidehacks I think the time is more than ripe for someone to fire up the kick starter and do a remake of the infamous 1969 hit "five the hard way". Instead of smelly and loud motorbikes lets get with the times and set up a fleet of those sweet sidehack equipped xtracycles. I'm sure a role can found for babble too.
SIDE HACK
Berkeley themed blog post: outdoorsy tech + domestic bliss
JB said...
But it's not trailing.
Much the way a movie trailer doesn't come after the movie.
I like the sound of that. After all, little role playing never hurt anyone...
Adding Canada to almost anything makes it funnier. Keep on fighting the good fight for the biking community. I just got a great deal On bike storage 2 weeks ago at Park Circle Storage; safe, clean, convenient and I don't have to worry about lugging my bike up the stairs anymore. The attendant gave me a deal so I am doing a solid and plugging the place check them out at parkcirclestorage.com
congrats on selling out. Under the thumb of the goose-stepping Mormons at Rodale it will only be only a matter of time until your blog starts taking on a happier, less threatening and more inclusive vibe. Think of the acerbic conan o'brien morphing into a lovable and cuddly jimmy fallon. You sicken me Mildcat.
Wow, that Cycling World advert is "Double Bretted".
And if Romney had Kickstarter?
Yeah, Canada is pretty funny. Not sure if I like the Canadian take on recumbabe, though. I prefer her au natural...
That's not a trailer, that's a sidecar. Sidecars are fucking shite.
Disadvantages of a car and the disadvantages of a bike combined; you get wet and you can't hack through traffic.
....and the front mount breaks and you crash it with your girlfriend in the sidecar..... (it was a long time ago, ok?)
Fucking stupid idea.
hey nonny mouse
Hey dorks. Helments off inside! That is all
With $75.00, you can afford to open up a fine box of wine and celebrate with the missus in style!
How does one go about selling a Blog? Did you throw in the Brooklyn Bridge? Can I still say pussy word?
So the SlingFin is "easily converted to paneer"
While I'm no linguist, isn't that cheese?
bk jimmy: they are called trailers because they were originally shown at the end of the movie, but that didn't force anyone to watch them. C'mon, there's no way that thing is a trailer.
I see a huge future in Roman Gladiator Style Extracycle Sidecar No-Holds-Barred Alley Cat Racing. Of course at least two gullible assholes will have to actually buy one of those fucking milktrucks.
So it will probably never happen.
Lauren aka Sky was so wet.
PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY
hang on...
wait for it...
Uhhhhhh, yup. Still here. The Google Gods haven't struck me down where I sit. Least not yet...
Looks like yer safe, McFly.
It's probabbley for the best. I need to clean up my act anyway.
"Hi, my name is McFly. I am a sexaholic. I have been sober for........18 seconds."
I'm your density.
Stay away Babble On. You are what they call "An Enabler".
Pinwheels of Unknown Provenance
It's true. Nothing but trouble. Be afraid.
I don't want to clean up my act, either - nor am I sorry. That would be the very opposite of cuntipotence!
Cheers for the chuckles today, snobbikins et al. That was fun,
:D
Wish I could destroy a bike, then have some hot girls lube my down tube! Mad Skils, but skids are for kids....
an Captaen
(Google "Left some" - the autofill is fucking WTF?)
Anyways...
Always add "fucking" to add some laughs to your writing.
"Nice 'fucking' cactus".
"...suddenly makes straight for the 'fucking' trash".
"...he 'fucking' presents his delighted child with a 'fucking' pinwheel".
"And clearly she's not fucking around."
Ok. You got that one. Good job.
"I don't know what she's baking, but it looks fucking delicious".
Ok. You got that one too. Good job. Maybe you got this.
Remember, after writing comedy you want to be able to say, "I fucking left it all fucking out there today. I got nothing more. I am so done, so fucking done." Comedy is like the fucking Tour de France, man. Know it.
Soundtrack for the gayass Pinarello trials video is...
Sometimes by Sound of Guns.
You're welcome, sodomites.
Someone needs to photochop that young lady's eyebrow back to what nature intended before she waxed it in two.
As the long lost BGW would write...just sayin'.
you say potatoe, i say i like how the honey badger saunters. my kind of gal.
FERO COUX
DOPE CINE
SIDE DUMB
Do this...
Watch the Xtracycle video while listening to the soundtrack from the Pinarello video.
WOOHOO. A Sunday in Berkley has never been sooo rad!
Wohooo!See what?t reminds me of a bad thing happened to me .I remember
clearly that I once bought some games equipment on line . But they sent me the
goods after a very long time when I paid for them . It makes me upgrade so
slowly that I am very disappoint . From then , I have never purchased any
equipment from that shop .
Then , one time , I find a good rs gold shop from the internet .They offer you runescape goldand runescape gold farming .They offer me good service and better goods at a low price . They make great sales every month . Their website is gpseller.com .And i have made it as my homepage. How hope you can like it .
Would like to know what his tires were. W-D 40 has a shellac base. I w
ouldn't put it on any of my bikes. Other than that, cool video.
Specialized Street Maulers
Who'd have thought we'd get to the stage where dudes on road bikes would be doing back flips out of bunkers..
Sod it! First someone nicked me bloody trousers while I was pissed in the shower! Now some cunt trashed my bike and got it all greasy-like with some kind of shite!
Apparently WD-40 makes your bike badass...
Mom in the plant store was hot, until she broke out the sidecar. Sidecars are NOT sexy.
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