Friday, October 26, 2012

BSNYC Friday Strange Filmy Substance on the Subway Seat!

Firstly, I'd please like to remind you thank you that tomorrow (Saturday, October 27th) I'll be speaking at 11:00am at the Philadelphia Bike Expo, and I hope you'll please come and see me thank you:


Cheese.  Steak.

Bike.  Snob.

Douche.  Bag.

Now that's good spondee.


("I Drink."  "Milk shake.")

Still not sure I understand spondee but whatever.

Secondly, the maker of Chuey Brand cycling hats has been arrested in San Francisco under unhappy circumstances.  (Obviously most arrests occur under unhappy circumstances, but by all accounts this is one of those cases that's unhappy because the person getting arrested was the victim of injustice and police brutality.)  By way of helping him, Stevil Kinevil of All Hail The Black Market is donating t-shirt proceeds, and his supporters have also set up a legal and medical aid fund.  If you feel like helping him please do, and if you don't you can just come to Philly and tuck money into the elastic waistband of my sweatpants, and I promise you I'll use those funds to go on a Bike Nashbar shopping spree.  (Because you can never have too much Primal Wear.)

Lastly, here's a humorous video I saw on the Twitter:



I LOLed, and then I lulled, and then I listed left, and then I finally fell hard with my face onto the edge of the coffee table, and now I lisp.

If you'd like to donate to my dental reconstruction surgery, you can do so here.

I love you.

And now, I'd like to present you with a quiz, and so I will.  As always, study the question, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right $500 will magically appear in your wallet (but only if your wallet is made out of the hide of the highly endangered African wild ass), and if you're wrong you'll see a steep bicycle.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and either I'll see you in Philadelphia or I won't.

I love you,


--Wildcat Rock Machine, Attorney at LOL





(We're supposed to chuckle because the cyclist is getting hit by a car.)

1) This illustration accompanied an article about the Armstrong debacle in which periodical?

--The New York Post
--The NY Daily News
--USA Today
--The New Yorker






2) Nothing says "playtime" like

--A sick pet
--A bicycle "accident" fun set
--The Park Tool "My First Flat Repair Kit"
--The IRS "Li'l Taxpayer" Form 1040 For Kids! ("Schedule A" sold separately)







3) As if there aren't enough bike amenities in the Netherlands, now they're talking about:

--Paying bicycle commuters €2 per kilometer ridden
--Free bakfietsen for families with two or more children
--Heated bike lanes
--Clipless clogs








4) There's no surer sign of America's decline than:

--High unemployment
--Rampant home foreclosures
--An enormous deficit
--People riding bicycles








("Uh, where's the 'eject' button?")


5) If you donate $65 to "a free bicycle-powered pop-up art gallery that travels the world," you'll receive:

--A painting of a cassette tape that once spent some time in my "basement"
--A cassette tape forcefully inserted in your "basement"
--A pound of unicorn cheese, six magic Raisinets, and a talking dog named Rufus
--Six months later, if you're lucky, a note thanking you for your $65









6) According to "Bicycle Retailer and Industry News," Budnitz Bicycles has developed a proprietary technique called "Budnitzing," which will reduce creaking and further enhance the durability of titanium frame tubing.

--True
--Flase






7) Paul Budnitz is the Karl Farbman of the cycling industry.

--True
--False



***Special Anatomy-Themed Bonus Question***


Disembodied:

--Hand
--Foot
--Ear
--Sub-abdominal region





118 comments:

babble on said...

and hello!!!

Anonymous said...

Just under Babbble!

babble on said...

comeoncomeoncomeonletsplay

theEel said...

weed!

Anonymous said...

beat it close hauled

singlespeedwaster said...

The week is done, but this high up the Top 10, reading is just as optional as pants

Kenny said...

AND THE BILLS CONTINUE TO BE MADE INTO LAWS!

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Stiff competition!

streepo said...

Here!

Anonymous said...

Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment deleted said...

I had *no idea* the riders in the Tour de France were using bicycles. *No idea*.

babble on said...

:*)

He said love...

twice

sigh

Anonymous said...

Top 15. Uranus, Mianus (CT), scranus.

Marcel Da Chump said...

No idea they had no idea.

McFly said...

I could use a Chuey hat with ear flaps for these bitter Tennessee winters where temperatures can dip as low as 48* Faringrade.

babble on said...

And now for something completely different:

No innuendo, just bikes and shit on Iona Beach

Anonymous said...

My team abandoned me.

Liklik Wopa said...

And today, all across New York white people are wondering, nervously asking each other, themselves: can I ever trust them? Can I ever really trust blacks and latinos? Can I trust Obama???

Top 20.

babble on said...

That's two, McFly...

McFly said...

Oh and Kenny, way to step out of your comfort zone. Baby steps.

J said...

A lot of astonishingly fast blokes in the tour!

yucknuts shrink said...

all bonus questions should be anatomy themed and special.

Anonymous said...

Snob you've made Spondee whatever you wanted to make it and for that congratulations. I think you caught the spirit of it, and then made it a little sillier than before. And for that, good sir, I thank you.
KISS ASS

Comment deleted said...

I saw a Belgian having breakfast.

His hair was perfect.

RANTWICK said...

Mwah! Mwah! Thank you all, really. You are the best.

babble on said...

I saw a Belgian having breakfast once...

astonishing

Anonymous said...

I still call BS on Amis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spondee

Poetic meter as real estate term? Eat me.

Anonymous said...

Is "Belgian having breakfast" mean something else?

Comment deleted said...

Yes, it am.

Billy said...

Budnitz deleted my comment on their video. :(

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

I like Belgian waffles for breakfast. And hemp hearts or whatever that is babble has.

UCI Douche said...

Just kidding, my lawyer told me to say that on TV. I practiced in the mirror the night before. Think it went pretty well.

crosspalms said...

I can see the podium from my front porch. Can't tell if the steep bike or the lady on the squeaky bike will get there next.

Old Man Budnutz said...

Ok Snobby here is the deal.
I will donate $666,000 to any Kickstarter atrocity that you choose...
if you will witness Babble and McFly
violating their orifices with your Oreo double dong using only Cipo based lubricants. The only caveat is that this shitstorm must come to a froth by 4:20 next Wednesday.
I will be satisfied, you will be satisfied.



Buffalo Bill said...

Lame bonus question, but I aced the rest. Let it snow, let it snow, let it - oh gawd make it stop!

Anonymous said...

Inspector Tillford digs deep into the murky past of Bobby Julich casting a rightous light on the webs of deceit and lies.

mikeweb said...

I have breakfast. And I'm not even Belgian.

Anonymous said...

I once had my salad tossed, but have never had my breakfast Belgianed. Babble, can you assist?

crosspalms said...

I think I'll get a new phone number so I can move ahead.

Jolene said...

First dialup!

mikeweb said...

In other news, I rebuilt my rear wheel last night (with proper length spokes this time) with help from Sheldon Brown - in spirit.

Cipo said...

eating pussy

McFly said...

Bikes and stuff.

Anonymous said...

Ha! That Clarke & Dawe bit was absolutely hilarious! If your talk at the bike expo is only half as funny, you should put a clip on the blog [but no pressure, Snob].

"I had...[pause]...I had absolutely no idea!"

babble on said...

You're on a roll, McFly... that's three.

anon@1:10 - fer sure, no problem. All you have to do is add hemp hearts et voila!

grog said...

Happy Frankenstorm.
I had no idea.

Cipo said...

Egg on your face and seed in your ear.

Anonymous said...

"Philadelphia Bike Expo"

"Artisans. Activists. Alternatives."

Snob, I don't see a spot for you within these three categories.

Are you sure you've been invited? Or are you just going to crash the gig?

McFly said...

Well thanks. Actually it's 4. What sort of lube(loophole) do you use on your beach excursions? Thats 5.

McFly said...

I like Pedro's. 6. This is liberating.

Cipo said...

Today is Friday and being Roman Catholic I cannot eat meat today.

So does this mean that if I have complimentary groupie fellatio performed on me today that the lady is a sinner?

How about if I immediately pull out before ingestion?

I ask you is administering a 'pearl necklace' really a sin?

babble on said...

Aw fuck. Better you than me, McFly. The temptation is too much...

Cipo, you may not be able to eat meat, but you can definitely eat BEAVER!

And who cares if it's a sin? Girls love necklaces.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

@Anon 2:03 Bikesnob most certainly does fit in one of those three catagories. He is the curator of this fine artisanal bike blog thing.

babble on said...

Yuppers. He's an alternative artisnal artist activist of the bikecycle description.

babble on said...

still
can't
spell

Cipo said...

Come out and play Frilly. (I may have scared her somewhat with my racey emails, #italianhotbeefinjection)

CommieCanuck said...

Sorry, every time I see "budnitz" I keep thinking about the name for a insect pest that eats your weed.

CommieCanuck said...

The Dutch show imagination. Heated bike lanes in NY would just attract homeless people, thus requiring unique "36er" wheels and suspension travel of whatever height one sleeping homeless person is.

Yes, a bad economy means more people riding (ugh) bikes, but in the bathrooms of Republican conventions across the nation, hummers are being promised if you vote Romney.

Funny tho, I though Hummer went out of business.

Anonymous said...

Snob, artisanal? Hmmm.

Gadfly.
Philosopher.
Ne'erdowell.
Cycling auteur.

Cough, cough. It's the smoke. Can't see to type...



Pearl Necklace Guy said...

"NECKST!"

Anonymous said...

I saw a Canadian receiving a pearl necklace for breakfast.

Anonymous said...

Its light and refreshing, in other words it good spondee.

Levi Leipheimer said...

Cipo,

My Rabbi knows your lapsed and welcomes you to blow it in her ear, mouth, throat and nose. Just don't end up spilling any on the floor or you're a goddamned wanker of a wannabe jew.

mikeweb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CommieCanuck said...

Oh sure, Babble wins, then comes the USADA sanctions, then the denials, and finally the tell-all book about doping and lesbian encounters, with pictures (PLEEEASE).
Finally, resignation from Babblestrong's board of directors.

Karl Farbman said...

I didn't bother to read this, being Karl Farbman, of course.

Comment deleted said...

Hurrah! Not only is it Friday, but Commie Canuck has taken a break from aural sex with Vito, and graces us with his presence.

Anonymous said...

KNLB FRZD

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Babblestrong

+1 Commie

crosspalms said...

and a +1 from me, too. Where do I order the wristlet?

Anonymous said...

whenever I see "budnitz" I think "deeznutz" - and that it's an "urban" clothing line from 2002.

Dooth said...

+infinity commie

babble on's legs will make anyone Babblestrong

go on with your bad self, girl

High Lawyer said...

I cannot believe it to Karl Farbman 50+ comments to show up. It's spelled Board of Erectors at BabbleSchlong Foundation.

High Lawyer said...

*took Karl Farbman

Anonymous said...

@Old Man Budnutz:

don't you mean the "santorum" will come to a froth?

Craptain 'Merka said...

I'll swing on you, bro.

McFly said...

That's why I love this blog. It's not everyday you can attend a Gun Show without purchasing tickets in advance.

Ray Sexlight said...

This Babble seems like a really nice, good-hearted girl. That stays super-horny from riding alot and constantly pumping the seratonin.

Does that mean she is stuck in the sweet/salty feedback loop? Could be worse.

babble on said...

Is that the loop where you wake up four hours later with your face stuck to the strange filmy substance on the subway seat?

heh heh... creaking and squeaking bud nicking bugs indeed

babble on said...

I'll never resign. I did nothing wrong.

She consented.

Bike Sod NYC said...

Damn. I wondered where all my commenters went.

annonymoose said...

Spillin' seed. I know I did that yesterday, but I can't stop. Blame it on the Babble on.

Anonymous said...

whenever I see "budnitz" now, I think "creaky piece of bang"

Anonymous said...

Oh Cipo, still glowing from our steamy exchange. The sight of your hot salami will be forever emblazoned in my memory. xxoo

Cipo said...

BENISSIMO! My salami has yet to be "unglowed" as you say in Americano, but alas, I cannot hold out through the night and must unleash my stallion to sew its' seed deep in the hot, moist furrow. Caio!

leroy said...

A talking dog named Rufus?

Oh thank goodness I'm not the only one who hears these voices.

My dog says the existence of a loquacious canine named Rufus doesn't prove anything about my mental competence. But you can't trust half the stuff he says.

Ride safe all!

Anonymous said...

Oh my. I thought Babble and McFly were out of control. If Frilly lets Cipo load that RUMP BUMP up I am afraid this blog will come untethered.

Anonymous said...

Cipo=BGW

?????

nahhhhhhhhhhh

La Cosa Nostradamus said...

Cipo Internationali is proud to announce the retail availability of 'Cipo Gluten Free non GMO Spermatoza* Flavoured Greek Yogurt!**'


*every lot is dna/rna tested by an independent testing agency, The Tilford Institute, to establish the presence of genuine Cipo Sperm.

**also available unsalted.

Realistic Lawyer said...

The Chuey guy seems like a good guy...not a particularly smart guy...but a good guy.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Speaking of strange filmy substances I thought this series was pretty cool. Some intersting NYC History. Check out the pic of a young whats-his-name-that-doesn't-own-car.

Dirty, Dangerous & Destitute - New York In The 70's - Allan Tannenbaum

Darth Douche' said...

Philadelphia is actually New Jersey. A clever marketing campaign started by one B. Franklyn and carried on by future generations concocted and perpetuated the Philadelphia Myth.

So Mr. Snob spread your brand of velo smugg and minister to your masses but let it be known to all that you are in fact pontificating in and to NJ lite.

May the Smugg be with you

McFly said...

Going on a ride. On a bike. That is all.

The thing I am going to miss the most about injecting se....the "S" word into most scenarios is my ability to turn any song in American culture into a musical porno by keeping the rhyming the same but changing up the words.


Except "Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady", it's pretty good in it's original form.

Karl Farbman said...

I am having a little get together this evening. You are not invited.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

#96
Slow damn crawl to the century mark I see. Like me climbing on the bent today.

leroy said...

McFly --

Any song?

Even The Captain and Tenille's "Muskrat Love"?

I thought the original was pretty racy.

97...

annonymoose said...

98

annonymoose said...

99

annonymoose said...

and, one hunnert. Ko knee chee wah be ah chez.

McFly said...

Are you baiting me? Don't be an enabler.

My fave was Head East...Shave my wife I'm goin' down for the last time. Woman with a bald muffin beggin for the McFly...

Damn a relapse.

Fuck Fuck said...

All you do to me is fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck

All you do to me is fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck

Lick Deez said...

The Ballad of Babble........

Buster Hymen said...

Just got back from my yearly physical exam. Everything checked out ok excepting my dna. Apparently I have smoked so much 'el dopo' that my dna strands have become somewhat unraveled.

This explains my sexual attraction to large amphibians and sea turtles.

Kapitan Buzzz Buzzzington said...

WHAT!?

Inspector Clouseau of the UCI said...

Cipo to the top of the podium as 1-105 are DQ'd for EPO. Testing of Cipo's sperm showed no EPO or IQ.

Builder Bob said...

Impossible. For the past 27 years all of his excess semem has been used to fortify the base of the Leaning Tower of Pisgah. Another medium would work much better but there is just so much surplus that had to choose the lesser of 2 evils. It's now a "load bearing" structure.

McFly said...

Casey Stoner makes it 6 in a row at Phillip Island. I really hate to see that kid retire in his prime. Like I did with the racy comment game. Two titans at the top of their respective and unrespective games.....G'day mate.

Lee Ho Fook said...

****TONIGHT SPECIAL****

Beef Chow Mein


15% Werewolf discount

Some Philly asshole said...

And stay out.

leroy said...

Well I'll be darned.

It's raining in NYC and you can't take the bus.

Or the subway.

Cool.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford stops for espresso and still wins The Berryman Epic. Bad MoFo.

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