Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Contest: This Is Supposed To Be A Bike Blog So I'm Giving One Away

Here at Bike Snit NYC Industries, LLC, we all love bikes and bicycling and bi-keen!  Whether it's my helper monkey, Vito, training for another Ironman on his Cervélo while wearing a monkeykini, or its my cadre of Estonian thugs "working over" another debtor with a box crown fork, or it's just me wearing head-to-toe Rapha while driving around town with a custom road bike on the roof of my Mercedes, the whole staff at Bike Douche NYC Enterprises, LTD live, breathe, eat, and occasionally vomit cycling.  Therefore, in an insecure attempt to prove how much we love bikes and to curry favor (or curry flavor, mmm delicious, etc.) with our vast readership of six (6), we're going to spend the coming days giving YOU free stuff.  And we're going to start with the Mother of All Free Bike Stuff, which is A Bike.

See this book?  It's called "100 Best Bikes:"



I haven't received my copy of "100 Best Bikes" yet, so I don't know if the 99 other bikes in it are truly the best, or if they're just kind of silly like the one on the cover is.  When I do get it, I'll let you know.  Either way, the publishers of this book have asked me to give away a Biomega folding bicycle, and since at least three of the six people who read this blog probably love bicycles (free ones especially, which are the best kind) I was happy to oblige.  Here's the bike:



I've never actually ridden one, but it seems like it would be useful for getting around town since: A) It folds; and B) If you ever find yourself getting chased by Amazonian warriors you can use that downtube cable to fire their arrows back at them.  Speaking of the downtube cable, here's the idea behind it:

The most media-recognized bike ever made, the Boston includes an integrated lock that’s a structural part of the frame (if a thief cuts the wire, the bike’s unrideable…but repairable), and quickly folds to fit wherever you need to go: on the bus, in your office, or in your apartment. 

Because if a thief cuts the wire and learns the bike is unrideable, he's of course going to take the time to return it to exactly where he left it.

Nevertheless, it still seems like a handy bike--especially if it's free--and it also seems way more practical than the Biomega Brookyn, described thusly:




The Brooklyn is urban in the American sense of the word. It is designed with a free style BMX in mind with heavy duty steel pedals & frame. The wheels are smaller & the tires are extremely fat to give it a bouncing ability yet unseen. There’s nothing practical about this town hopper made for keeping it fun regardless of how harsh the terrain might be. You can take this bike from your habitual city playground to a dune or a heap of snow & maintain your thrust. The Brooklyn has eminent braking power covered by mechanical disc brakes & stays in tune with the Biomega style & elegance with its leather saddle & cool gear. Try the toughest free style grind yet - in luxury.


As a Brooklynite myself, I can assure you we do spend a lot of time riding on sand dunes here, and I'm tempted to try to ride one of these across Gerritsen Inlet.

Anyway, when you have one bike and six readers you need to figure out a way to pick which reader will get it, and that means you have to curate a contestway.  And it doesn't seem fair to give it to someone who already has a bike, nor does it seem fair to give it to someone who doesn't have a bike, but only because they're too cheap and lazy to go buy one.  So that leaves people who had a bike but don't anymore because their bike got stolen.  Therefore, if your bike got stolen and you really need the Biomega folding archery bike because you're screwed without one, here's what to do:

Send an email to "bikesnobnyc (at) yahoo (dot) com" with the following subject line:

BIEK ME UP, WILDCAT!

Please use that subject line verbatim, and note that any variations or deviations are grounds for disqualification, which means you won't get the bike with a downtube that can make a sound like this.

Then, in the email, tell me the following as concisely yet entertainingly as possible:

--Who you are, where you live, what you do, and what your favorite TV show is;
--How your bike got stolen and what you learned from the experience;
--Why you need a folding bike (hint: because you're apparently unable to keep your regular bike from getting stolen);
--How, when you receive it, you will proceed to make the world a better place.

From these emails I'll pick a winner by means of some completely subjective and unfair process as yet to be determined.

The deadline for submissions is this Friday, September 14th, at 12:01AM my time, which is New York City time, the only time that counts.  (Other cities and towns may share our time, but it's really ours.)  Keep in mind that Friday at 12:01AM is what you might still consider Thursday night because you're up smoking Wednesday Weed and watching Jimmy Kimmel, but I can assure you that it's technically Friday, and that's what we're talking about here.

I think that about covers it.  By the end of the week, somebody's going to have a free bike, which I'm sure you'll agree is pants-wettingly exciting.  And don't worry if you miss out on the bike, either, because as soon as this contest ends another one is going to begin.  I won't give you the details yet, but here's a hint: it will be a cockpit photo contest, and the winners will get Knog Blinders, just in time for the increasingly short days of fall.  Actually, I guess I just gave away almost all of the details, but you do still need submission guidelines, so a tantalizingly small bit of mystery still remains.

Moving on to the exciting world of professional bike riding, a reader informs me that every single competitor in the Paris-Bruxelles bicycle race except for Tom Boonen has been killed dead:


Here's a gripping account from the race's only survivor:

"The finish here at Paris-Brussel is not so easy. The team led me perfectly until the last corner. [Nikolas] Maes literally killed everybody during the lead-out. His job permitted me to pass the train of Rabobank and have a good sprint."

This is the worst tragedy to hit competitive cycling since an entire Cat 4 field "literally exploded" on a tiny hill during a race in Prospect Park.

Meanwhile, eerily, Alberto Contador has now won seven Grand tours...in his mind (insert spooky reverb here):


Here's his reasoning:

"That other number appears on paper, it is ultimately secondary to me. What matters is my own feeling and the impressions that remain in the retina of the spectators," he said.

In a sport full of trite soundbites like "I felt super strong that day" and "I couldn't have done it without my team" it's almost shocking to read what amounts to a discourse on subjectivism versus relativism.  People go to school for like 19 years and get multiple doctorates to draw conclusions like the one Contador just threw out as an afterthought after winning the Vuelta.  I don't know what kind of steak he's been eating recently, but it must have been marinated in brain tonic.

Speaking of carnage and subjectivism, every single newspaper in New York City has successfully managed to completely ignore the fact that drivers are free to kill without consequence--until today, when it was finally acknowledged by the New York Times:


Not only that, but there's even an acknowledgement that drivers routinely break the law:

I conducted my own anecdotal study. This Monday morning I stood by the lamppost on Broadway and 14th Street that has become a de facto altar for Ms. Buta. In 25 minutes I watched three trucks, including an 18-wheeler, narrowly miss pedestrians walking the intersection. I counted 17 cars, trucks and a “New York Waterway” bus running red lights.

Though if he had performed his anecdotal study in my neighborhood it would have read more like this:

This morning I stood by the lamppost on the corner outside of the deli, and in 45 seconds I watched a car service driver run me down and kill me.

Anyway, people like John Del Signore at Gothamist as well as the smugness cabal over at Streetsblog have been pointing this stuff out for years, and hopefully it's a good sign that the "Old Gray Lady" has finally pulled her head out of her old gray posterior.  I'm also looking forward to The Daily News's take, which I'm sure will sport a headline like this:

"Reckless Bikers and Pedestrians Who Fail To Wear Helments Face Few Penalties in New York."

It will also spell "pedal" as "peddle" fourteen times.

Fortunately for us, the News is not distracted by this murderous driver smokescreen nonsense and instead have the real enemy squarely in their cockeyed sights:

(This blog observes a strict no-direct-link-to-The-Daily-News policy.)

Not so fast, bikers.

The NYPD has stepped up its offensive against scofflaw cyclists in Central Park a month after a Daily News investigation exposed the dangers of speeding riders in the park.

Auxiliary cops fanned out across the park Saturday, handing out bicycle safety pamphlets and telling cyclists to heed Central Park’s speed limit of 25 mph.

Relieved pedestrians welcomed the new crackdown on speeding bicycle riders.

“I’ve never seen that before,” said jogger Nick Spangler, 27, who spotted cops telling Central Park bikers to slow down and follow traffic signals Saturday morning.

I only hope there's an end in sight to all this newspaper anti-cycling stuff, and I also hope it's an ironic one which involves the entire staff of The Daily News getting run over by one of the paper's own trucks.

Lastly, one of the principals of this Kickstarter project asked me to share it with all six of you:


I really have only one reservation about this project, which is that this is a guide to riding a bicycle around Portland and finding beer.  I don't see how this requires a guidebook, since finding beer on a bike in Portland is about as hard as finding a duty-free shop in an airport.  Portland is essentially just a city of bars, coffee shops, and bikes shops connected by bike lanes.  You have a one-in-three chance of walking into any building in Portland and being able to buy beer in it.  It's also almost impossible to get lost in Portland, which is about the size of Park Slope.  (Sure, I've been lost in Portland, but do keep in mind I'm an idiot.)  Then again, maybe there is a market for obvious books, in which case I'm going to launch a Kickstarter campaign for a guide to how to get your bike stolen in New York City.

Also, you'll notice that in the video it's a beautiful day:


Portland has exactly three-quarters of a beautiful day a year, yet between Kickstarter and "Portlandia" there are about a billion videos of people riding around Portland in the sunshine.  This leads me to believe that during those few short hours the entire city must shut down and give itself over entirely to filming.  (Inasmuch as a city that consists entirely of bike shops, breweries, and coffee houses can "shut down," of course.)

Other than that, I'm totally on board.

146 comments:

JB said...

What's going on?

Anonymous said...

OMG! Podium!

Then I'll fold. Or shoot an arrow. Or something.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Early podium.

Blodsmak said...

Hnnngh!

Fred Nifacent said...

early bird get the Fondo

Ed said...

Top Ten

Anonymous said...

aw yeah

Anonymous said...

Top something! Storm Queen!

Anonymous said...

Top ten

Anonymous said...

TOOP TEEN?

Jasper said...

Woah, early doors

theEel said...

Early Weed.

Jasper said...

I am sure McFly can give you tips in how to 'maintain your thrust' on a Brooklyn.

JB said...

In my mind, I've won the FIFA World Cup, a couple of French Tours, 3 World Series', a Super Bowl, 4 US National Bowling Championships, the Masters, and a hot dog eating contest, and shtupped Christie Brinkley, Cindy Crawford, and Phoebe Cates at various times and combinations.

Doesn't anybody knock anymore?!

RANTWICK said...

CONTEST! YES! I can't enter, but still... I lika da contests.

Anonymous said...

HAHA SIGH
GOOD POST

ps, Ima fukung kill yoo if you give me that bikecycle

JD0g said...

Oh terrible luck, the last time my bike was stolen was in Kindergarten. I found it after ten minutes of stumbling around in shock, daydreaming about my new bike. Imagine my disappointment when I found that sucker just as I'd left it. Had to ride that POS for another year or two.

McFly said...

Yesterday evening a girl got "grazed" by a car in my neighborhood (she was doing 360's in the street where a bush blocks the view) and the SHERRIFF happened to be driving by and threatened to call Child Services on the mom if she did not get them kids straight. It was a hell of a scene. We drug up lawn chairs and popcorn.

mikeweb said...

Early windows!

Billy said...

I had a bicycle stolen in college after I left it chained up outside for 9 months. Does that count? A folder would be neat since the train to the town I work in doesn't allow regular bicycles.

babble on said...

How was that worm, Wildcat?

And how are you going to write a book on how to have your bike stolen in New York City when you failed so miserably with the Electra?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

did the snitty say he was writing a book about stolen bikes?

i kinda hope not - i don't think there is much material there

Anonymous said...

sneaky snob, sneaky

cycle

Marcel Da Chump said...

Let's make this Beer and Bike Guide a reality so we can get drunk and forget reality.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Let's make this Beer and Bike Guide a reality so we can get drunk and forget reality.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

i'm totally going to win this contest... anyone want to steel my bike?

jayteepee said...

Regarding Portland, in addition to all the bars, coffee shops, bike shops, and combinations thereof, we also have numerous "medical" marijuana dispensaries. Which reminds me, my bunion is flaring up again, and I can't wait until Weednesday. Gotta run..

Marcel Da Chump said...

Oops! I need a beer.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Oops! I need a beer.

CommieCanuck said...

That folding bike was originally marketed by PUMA and it's in the MoMa.
Didn't sell.

Three cheers for Contadoper. In my mind, I won the 1998 Miss America, and the 2009-11 AVN porn video award (for best lighting).

McFly said...

6? Did you mom and dad start reading your blog again?

le Correcteur said...

Missed top 30 by one! But this, WRM, is classic:

"hopefully it's a good sign that the "Old Gray Lady" has finally pulled her head out of her old gray posterior."

le Correcteur said...

Damn! By 2! Pee break, everybody!

Anonymous said...

Looks like a gay clown bike.

Captain Hardbread said...

one of Six!

Buffalo Bill said...

I knew there was only six of us.
I feel so lonely.

singlespeedwaster said...

Comin' atcha like a bad spondee, knockin' over yo podium an' lettin' down yo tyres

Anonymous said...

I saw an interview where David Byrne admitted he rented a car.

Count Douche'ula said...

Please buy my book ...

'The 100 Biggest Cycling Douche'bags of all time and space'

Four chapters are devoted exclusivly to tell all author Tyler Hamilton.

Also extensive tracts devoted to delving into the mystical side of the Mennonite faith featuring Floyd Landis and an ewe named Belinda.

Jan Ulrich ...

Ivan Basso ...

Cuntador ...

Vino ...

etc., etc.


SHOUT OUT! HEY! WCRM! YOU ROCK!

CanuckIfYouBuck said...

Snobben, the elusive Robs Fords has struck again. Apparently he ducked out early to submit his 'free crumpler biek contestway' email before 'tucking into' a football parctice.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/toronto/toronto-mayor-ford-under-fire-for-ducking-out-of-council-meeting-to-coach-football/article4536328/comments/

Anonymous said...

Ooh! Someone recently stole my knog light (right off my bike!) Does that get me points for the free one?

Lothar...of the hill People said...

Set myt people free....

The King of Park Slope said...

Like anyone wants a folding bike.

Anonymous said...

I thought the "old gray lady" had her head up the DNCs butt.

cycle

McFly said...

I could actually use that folding bike, the kids tore up the clothes drying rack in the den. I can put the socks on the cable.

JB said...

No sympathy for unattended Knogs getting stolen.

Anonymous said...

folding panties

Cipo said...

.....maintaining my thrust

McMaster Bates said...

One thing I have never been able to comprehend is why did McMaster University not use my entire name?

Jed said...

eating curry.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, I assume that my contest entry is not required to be notarized under penalty of perjury, and that we are able to elaborate on the story to make it more piteous in a cynical attempt to win the bike prize?

Also, how much does penmanship count?

How laterally stiff and vertically compliant is that sweet piano-wire downtube?

Aw, fuck it. Everybody knows that the bike is gong to CommieCanuck anyways, who will have to pay $30,000.00 in Canadian import fees and taxes unless Snob folds it and snuggles it in his trousers across the border on his way to his McMasturbates University appearance.

Jed said...

To all of the (5) readers of my comments:
I'll be taking the day off tomorrow. You know ip5 announcement and all...
Back on Thursday.

Anonymous said...

Jed,
Do you promise?

db said...

A lot of cyclists have exploded on the slippery slope of relativism.

I know that NYT story is a "news feature" piece, but that lead is craptacular. "Dark-eyed and lithe"? Just because she was an aspiring actress (can't be many of those in NYC), do we have to copy style and terms from the Style section? Bad spondee...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

What if they're female amazonian worriors?

Anonymous said...

Anon 12:52, I saw an interview where David Byrne admitted he rented a woman.

Anonymous said...

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT drop acid and watch that BioMega adway. I just crawled back out from under my desk.

Anonymous said...

Here's my cycling ambergis:

I wrote a poem bout my bike being stolen and the subsequent redemption process during a stint on bike theft topics on this blog.

Rex H said...

How much safer would the pedestrians in Central Park be if they just stayed the hell out of the bike lanes and actually followed the rules?

Cipo said...

You are such a curmudgeon. You should try eating more pussy.

Rex H said...

How much safer would the pedestrians in Central Park be if they just stayed the hell out of the bike lanes and actually followed the rules?

CommieCanuck said...

Damn, wishiwasmerckx figured it out.
Thank God this bike folds.

I'm working on WCRM getting a honorary PeeHDee in the McMaster bike nation, or McMasterbation for short.

That's right assholes, in a few weeks it's DOCTOR Wanker, to you.

JB said...

Cykleen teams sponsored by farmasuitacle companies: a bit close to home? good public relations?

PatrickBateman said...

i'm a bit bummed by the rules of the contest.

just because i live in a nice city where we can afford to have things called "yards" and "garages" in which we can store our bikes in safely, i'm disqualified?

and obviously whoever wins already has a history of not taking care of bikes so why should they be trusted with another?

oh well, i wouldn't ride that silly looking thing anyway, so keep your damn bike you bikeen bastards.

PatrickBateman said...

i'm a bit bummed by the rules of the contest.

just because i live in a nice city where we can afford to have things called "yards" and "garages" in which we can store our bikes in safely, i'm disqualified?

and obviously whoever wins already has a history of not taking care of bikes so why should they be trusted with another?

oh well, i wouldn't ride that silly looking thing anyway, so keep your damn bike you bikeen bastards.

ashcroftchops said...

I had a bicycle stolen once............

The End

Anonymous said...

Those Biomega bikes would be much easier to *see* if those f'kers wouldn't put their WHITE framed bicycles on a WHITE background in my WHITE browser.

They mostly look to me like 2 disembodied wheels, a disembodied seat, and a floating forget-me stick.

Anonymous said...

I love the speeding crackdown on bikes in central park. i ride there often and personally probably only break 25mph on the steepest downhill section of the park and rarely am i passed by other cyclists. sure maybe there are some really fast cyclists in the early morning hours (pre 7am when the park is mostly empty), so is a crackdown really needed? cars on the other hand routinely pass me at what seems to be in excess of 40mph and rarely are they stopped. i was given a ticket for running a redlight in central park recently on my commute to work, which i guess is part of this crackdown. I slowed down and made sure there was no cross pedestrians at the pedestrian only cross walk and was still given a ticket. I asked the officer why they weren't giving tickets to the jay walkers, joggers, skaters etc who were crossing against the light right in front of them and the answer was that they are focusing on cyclists. what it is is just another way to tax the citizens of new york. If the city really wants to make the park safer they should finally ban all motorized traffic from the park. There are 6 miles of road in the park in a city with 6,000 miles of roads. The park is not a highway, its supposed to be a place for people to relax and exercise, like cycling for example. so instead of prohibiting that why not remove the cars. Now cyclists and everyone else will be able to use the full road space rather then be relegated to a narrow and therefore dangerous 8 foot wide section during car hours. of course that would never happen. but stopping those couple of cyclists who occassionally go faster than 25mph is making a difference?

Blog Drafter said...

I think you might have meant relativism versus absolutism. Relativism and subjectivism are somewhat synonymous.

A lot of pro cyclists will say, "everything is relative" but those pro cyclists don't realize that the statement "everything is relative" has the exact same meaning as the statement, "nothing is absolute." It's almost like they don't know what they're saying, or doing, as they wave their arms around their chests the way they do.

Pro cyclists make that mistake a lot.

I once loaned my early 90's 50lb Bianchi "off road" to my nephew who went to the movies and failed to lock it and it got stolen. I was not sorry to see it go. Not very exciting, I know, but I really don't want that prize bike. I am absolutely certain about that.

Anonymous said...

@Serial Retrogrouch:

"... anyone want to steel my bike?"

Sure, then I'll "peddle" it!

-NHcycler

leroy said...

My dog asked me to submit the following, but made me promise not to read it.

BIEK ME UP, WILDCAT

I live in Brooklyn. My favorite show is the The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour -- especially the sing along portions.

I was lifting my leg and when I turned around, leroy's bike was gone. I learned you have to be careful where you urinate in public.

I need a folding bike so I can hide it under the couch where leroy won't see. He says I owe him a bike.

I will make the world a better place by riding the bike to the Grand Plaza liquor store on Washington Avenue so I can lift my leg on the bullet proof plexiglass door with the sign that says "No Dogs or Bikes."

Yours faithfully,

L.'s d.

babble on said...

When I first read the title, my heart skipped a beat, cause I figured his Snittiness was giving away a bike blog (complete with a readership of six) instead of some second cousin to the Strida.

So disappointed...

Then I checked my inbox, where I saw more of Frilly's knickers (and a gorgeous matching top)and my heart was ever so happy again...

Heh heh. Life is good.

Sorry 'bout your luck, boys!

Perry said...

"Portland is essentially just a city of bars, coffee shops, and bikes shops connected by bike lanes."

Oh, bullcrap. There are also strip clubs on every corner here.

grog said...

Booby prize: a day with Recumbabe.

BIEK BABE

babble on said...

I lost my Cannondale when I was STOOOOOOOOPID enough to turn my back on it on a busy downtown street for a mere thirty seconds.

I learned that mum is right: I'm not the sharpest tack in the box.

I will make the world a better place by ensuring that everyone has waaaaaaaay more sex.

Please give the prize to Leroy's dog.

Clifford Allen said...

I didn't read anything past the folding Boston because all I could think of was folding Slingshot mountain bikes from the 1990s.

Dooth said...

Why Boston?!

Serial Retrogrouch said...

babble
you talk too much about knickers and sex. this is a (clean) bikeen blog. no sex or drug talk permitted... except by Leroy's dog.

babble on said...

Dear Grouch.

You should be getting laid more.

And I talk too much, full stop. Hence the moniker.

Serial Retrogrouch said...

Dear Babble,

you are right. old cipo would have me eating more pussy, but i'm vegetarian.

mikeweb said...

For any Brooklynites in Martin Amis' neighborhood, there's a 'shaft of light' 9/11 ride this evening. Departing Bar Great Harry about 7:30-ish...

Anonymous said...

Amateur doping scannndddddaaaalllllll.
Including police report.
Get the pitchforks! Release the hounds!

http://flcx.org/usada-at-florida-mtb-race/

Martian Anus said...

For the commoners personal enjoyment I am so happy to announce that I am manufacturing and retialing 'the 'Anus Folding Spondee.'

$9.999.99 available worldwide at the most fashionable of word botiques.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Yes for lobs sake serial we finaly get a woman on here talking about knickers and sex leave her be for crying out loud!

Man if I had that archery bike I'd ride around the hood with my back quiver and loincloth and shoot flaming arrows all over the place Ted Nugent style.

I already got a shed full of bikes so I'll leave that sweet prize for somebody less fortunate than me but I would like to share my stolen biek story.

When my sister and I were little kids my sister had a second hand banana seat bike with a huge sissy bar and a fat slick on the back. (Now that I think about it that bike was pretty bad ass) Well one day it turned up missing. About a week later I was sitting on my front porch when I notice a Eddie Haskle looking kid go riding down the street on my sisters bike. I yelled to my dad who took off barefoot in a dead sprint after the kid who was then down the block somewhere. In a little while My dad came into view walking the bike up the sidewalk. I don't know what happened to that kid but I learned early on that stealin' bikes wasn't cool.

Anonymous said...

SCROTANUS!

Vegas said...

And the peds will hear you coming with that biek harp. Twangy-wang-a-jang!

I am, however, as scared of the Boston as I was of the Slingshot. And I couldn't sit through the crappy flash on their site to actually check out their bieks.

Snobulator, I assume you get a free Brooklyn for advertising the Boston, so I am expecting those dune-riding pics forthwith.

Anonymous said...

I have a tandem, a bowling ball, tennis racket and a lot of parrots, who needs a new male activity partner?

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/act/3264492966.html

frilly said...

Beam me up, Scottie! Oops.

Beam me up, Snobbie!

Oh fuck me, I never was any good at following the rules.

Anonymous said...

Damn.
I haven't had a bike stolen but if I did, I'd want it to be a Biomega Boston - just like the one you're giving away.

babble on said...

Maybe not, sweet cheeks, but you sure look good breaking them.

Derailed Her said...

Martin Amis tickles the scranus
in the current Newsweek issue.

Anonymous said...

The NYT's article contained the very depressing story of a young women hit by a garbage truck while crossing the street late at night after her work shift. The truck never stopped. There is video of the entire accident. No prosecution, no nothing.

And...

In Portland they're called Sun breaks and the city actually does come to a complete stop during them.

Anonymous said...

Let's be clear: just because the Daily News says the cops are doing an "offensive" "crackdown" on bikes in Central Park in response to their pathetic anti-bike hit pieces doesn't make it so.

The "Auxiliary" police here are *not* cops, but rather are uniformed volunteers (they don't write tickets), and while I imagine they get a lot of "cop wannabe" guff from both civilians and our actual charming NYPD, they're ok as far as I know.

Last year, while riding on the Hudson River bikeway I saw just what I think is described in this article: Auxiliary NYPD flagging down some egregiously douchy cyclists to remind them about basic traffic rules and sharing space here in the Big Town.

The six of you shouldn't uncritically accept the Daily News's efforts to pervert this into their own anti-bike agenda.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Jaw harp indeed! That's a Jew Harp if I ever saw one.

Damn you, political correctness.

jayteepee said...

Perry

How could I have forgotten about Portland's strip clubs!? They outnumber churches by about 3 to 1. I've been thinking about opening a strip club/bike shop, but with my luck, someone's already filled that niche.

Micro Shifter said...

The billionaire media barons behind the anti-bike agenda are douche bags. They're drunk with power to think they can design society to suit their fancy.

Anonymous said...

The spondee is getting awfully deep in here.

Krys Hines said...

I was involved in the "launch" of the then Biomega Puma at Interbike in 2005(?). I had to wear red Puma shoes and I died a little...I also felt stoopid given the fact I would have chosen a Brompton from the booth next to us rather than that fucking monstrosity...K

Krys Hines said...

I was involved in the "launch" of the then Biomega Puma at Interbike in 2005(?). I had to wear red Puma shoes and I died a little...I also felt stoopid given the fact I would have chosen a Brompton from the booth next to us rather than that fucking monstrosity...K

Pissedoffalero said...

pretty sure Lance still thinks he won 7 tours as well.

What? Lance is off limits here? sorry about that!

McFly said...

HeyheyheyheyheyheyheyLemmetalklemmetalklemmetalkILOVEREDBULLLOVEREDBULLLOVERREDBULL


ok


Frilly says, "Oh fuck me."

And Babble admittedly will "turn her back on you for 30 seconds".

What to do with the other 11 seconds. INTERNETS!!!!!!!!

McFly said...

*of course these phrases were completely and blatantly taken out of consext.

Jon Douche' aspiring D.D.S. said...

Dear Lance Armstrong,

Is it one testicle or one testicli? I have an anatomy quiz on Wednesday and I need to know now! Thanx in advance for your help.

Spondue said...

11 seconds is all I need with Friily and Babble.

Anonymous said...

How come all the Streetsblog/TA Kool-Aid guzzlers aren't taking note of the fact that this young woman was run down by one of Janette Sadik-Khan's employees?

You know her, the NYC bike czar, who poses on bikes at photo ops, then climbs back into her (taxpayer funded) chauffer-driven SUV?

Pippo Pozzatto said...

"Only God can judge me."


"Oh, and also those drug checking officials."

Tips said...

Just in case the to-be-announced unfair process for choosing winners involves ignoring hundreds of sent emails with verbatim-perfect subject lines, I'd like to make the case for the folding bike to be sent to me. My old bike suffered severe bends in the top tube and down tubes. Not sure how it happened, but I woke up from a big night and there it lay, at the foot of my bed, mangled into a sort of swan shape.
I really need a new bike to get to my origami class, so
hit me up @urbanridingtips.
PS I live in Australia, so you better start saving now for the postage, thanks. :)

JD0g said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JD0g said...

If that folding thingamajig is still kickin' around, send it to the bikesmelter.com for smelting.

Anonymous said...

Recomment:

The idea of bike insurance is just
if cops to bike thieves will bust

twas a grave mistake of mine own
I was new to fog city town

rodeth my bike out for the night
locked with a cable lock, no fright

the bike had been safe with a cable
while in an upscale suburban fable

but, next to TransAmerica site
my Giant OCR, gone, into the night

Anonymous said...

that is my poem but I got a new bike so I don't need to email it to you.

Anonymous said...

a comedy was the reason, u know;
not my situation, mind u, a show.

With a lass scarce knew on this nite,
her body taught, nerves so very tite.

Hang the bike; grabbed some beer;
to her place after grabbing my steed.

The iron horse had absconded;
her sympathy to me bonded.

She offered to buy me a bike anew;
"no dear, it's gone, tis true

I neglected my ride like a fool
thinking only of dipping my tool

let's again to your place to rest
and passion'll flow at our behest."

McFly said...

I used to have a 1979 Honda Z50 with the EXACT same wheels and tires thats in that Brooklyn bike. Please don't give that one away. Mt back is just now getting better.

McFly said...

*on

babble on said...

Spondue...

Well done. It takes a big man to admit to it.

ashcroftchops said...

I actually dont want to win your folding bike as I have my own Brompton "made in Londinium" folding bicycle in a rather fetching British racing green colour which is topped off nicely with a rather lovely brown leather Brooks saddle.

So put your prize bicycle up your snobby bottom. I very much doubt you can though as the brompton is the only bicycle which can be folded small enough to shove up ones bottom. And I should know because I park mine up my own Lilly white English ass!

Mamo-chan said...

Coming from a large family, I never got to own my own bike. Winning this would be a thrill of a lifetime.

Anonymous said...

tHE BIKE AT AGE 63 WOULD LOVE TO RECREATE THE FREEDOM OF THE RIDE FROM PARENTS ONCE AGAIN I REMEMBER MY FIRST MURPHY/SCHWIN WHEN I GOT MY 26 INCH. THANKS/SW;; RAYMONDW345@AOL.COM

Jo Crothers said...

hahaha you have more than 6 readers. ;)

LeRoy T. said...

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE THIS BIKE

Anonymous said...

Another kickstarter:

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1202837765/z-torque-bicycle-cranks-ride-faster-longer-easier?ref=recently_launched

...but that's now how physics works. Also, why are so many bike component kickstarters using amazingly low-end bikes as their examples?

kanchan tyagi said...

Really very effective and too much impressive blog this is. Only by doors and windows we can make our home sweet and attractive. thankful to you for posting this blog. Bi-fold doors and windows

mohit said...

What A Witch Can Do
Do you have any idea what a witch can do when it comes to you on a dark lonely night? See the cartoon animated Maruti video for more details- http://bit.ly/BoyandtheWitch

Elin said...

So if Portland is a rain hole then it's kind of awesome as it proves the thesis that weather is not the biggest issue for cycling people.

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green scooter shop san francisco said...

Hi, I like reading your blog, its entertaining and educational, and cheers to my fellow blog commenter who shared his pretty poem.

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Anonymous said...

I haven’t read this book “100 best bikes” but I am sure my folding bike is in there!!

Harga Printer said...

Thanks For Share :D .. i Like It

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