Friday, August 24, 2012

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz And Holiday Announcement!

According to Wicking Pedia, "Labor Day is an American federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September (September 3 in 2012) that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers."

I'm not a worker, nor do I contribute economically, socially, or in any other way to America or indeed any country.  Nevertheless, I'm not going to let that stop me from celebrating Labor Day.  In fact, I'm going to start celebrating it immediately after this post, and I'm going to continue to do so until Tuesday, September 4th, 2012, at which point I will return with regular updates.

Sure, I could call it a much-needed end-of-summer recess, but instead I'll call it what it actually is, which is wheelsucking behind the American labor movement.

Meanwhile, it's a dark day for American cycling, and one which will forever be remembered as the opening day for the movie "Premium Rush" starring Jason Gordon-Levitt:


The New York Times has mostly good things to say about the movie, and also says that it "tries hard to look real:"

Like some fixie devotees, Wilee also rides without brakes, a choice that’s branded by other characters in the movie as reckless and maybe evidence of a death wish. But it also registers on screen — as when Wilee, like a groovier or at least thinner Fred Flintstone, skids to a stop using only his skill and sneakered feet — as the ultimate in authenticity. To a degree, the director, David Koepp, has tried to mirror the DIY ethos of fixed-gear devotees by using real rather than digital stunts and effects. There are digital cars and occasional passers-by scattered amid the remarkably clean streets of New York — as well as a lot of interstitial Google-map-style sections that zoom out for an aerial view and in for the street view — but most of the imagery is analogue. The movie tries hard to look real.

In that sense (trying hard to look real), I suppose it has captured the fixed-gear zeitgeist perfectly.



I'm still a Lance Armstrong fan, and whatever happens he'll always be the two-time winner of the Dauphiné Libéré as far as I'm concerned.  (A feat, I might add, that only six other riders have managed to accomplish--not including all the other riders who won it three times.) Plus, there's no question he's given his heart, soul, and bodily fluids to the sport:

I made myself available around the clock and around the world. In-competition. Out of competition. Blood. Urine. Whatever they asked for I provided.

"Whatever they asked for" is right.  When the UCI wanted blood, he gave it.  When USA Cycling wanted urine, he gave it.  When Ashley Olsen wanted saliva, he gave that too.  Yes, whether it was an out-of-competition test or just an out-of-wedlock "booty call," Armstrong was always available at any time of the day or night for any drug tester or starlet in desperate need of his secretions.

Of course, in the cycling world you're not supposed to say you like Lance Armstrong.  It's almost as un-PC as making jokes about women's racing:


“I think (RadioShack) forgot that the women’s race is later in the week,” Sayers said, referring to the Blue Ribbon Alpine Challenge women’s criterium. “I don’t understand why they’re not going for stage wins. I don’t expect anybody to help my team, but I don’t understand why, when you have six riders in the front group, that you won’t even pull, and then you start attacking to get the stage win.”

RadioShack countered by assuring Sayers that they did remember that the women's race was later that week, and further explained that the reason they weren't pulling was that they were saving their legs for it.

Lastly, I recently received the following email from a reader who encountered a bike thief in the Flatiron district of Manhattan USA:

Here's a picture taken today around 1pm of a bike thief in action on 5th Ave between 22nd and 23rd St.  I saw him checking bike locks on the block walking around with his bright yellow bold cutters.  He settled on the on in the photo with a cheap cable type lock.  Immediately after this was taken my friends and I confronted the guy asking him what he was doing.  His words: "it's okay i talked to the police and they said it's no ones bike," then said "I already have my own bike, its parked around the corner, wanna see?", then "those shears, they are my bosses, i'm just carrying them for him."  There was a lot of shouting and a crowd gathering and 10 seconds later the guy took off down the street.  Worst part, as he was leaving the scene an undercover police approaches us saying they had been watching him the whole time and were just waiting for him to cut the lock before making the arrest!

Here he is, complete with the city-mandated yellow flag identifying him as an officially licensed bike thief:


Notice the bolt cutters are still in his bag and he's instead chosen to melt the cable lock with his mind.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see a bicycle opera.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe on Labouring Day, and I'll see you on September 4th.


--Wildcat Rock Machine










("Biodynamic, no pesticides.  Can't spray.  Don't want to.")

1) The producers of "Premium Rush" have already announced a sequel called "Artisanal Squash" in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character moves to Portland and starts a Community Supported Agriculture bicycle home delivery service.

--True






(Just another day at Cipollini Sex Camp.)

2) The Italian Society for Hair Restoration has stripped Mario Cipollini of his seventeen consecutive "World's Greatest Lover" titles due to his alleged use of sensual oils containing a banned meerkat pheromone.

--True






(Cyclists love those Robs Fords.)

3) After a Toronto cyclist was killed in a crash involving a disused streetcar track, a city councillor proposed:











4) When not calling for a tax on cycling, John Kass is sodomizing chickens with beer cans.

--True








5) This man is:








6) What are these?

--Ultra-lightweight pant cuff retainers
--Elastomer retrofits for Brooks saddles
--Internal tire sidewall stiffeners to enhance cornering
--Oral bug guards







(Researchers believe the condition known as "micro lip" may be transmitted by poop sex.)

7) What is "Micro Lip?"

--MicroSHIFT's proprietary name for its diminutive downshifting button
--The new title sponsor for the RadioShack cycling team in 2013
--Todd Akin's term for the labia minora
--David Byrne's latest artisanal bike rack



***Special Tattoo-Themed Bonus Question***




Gentlemen with dandelions for heads prefer pennyfarthings.

--True
--False


193 comments:

babble on said...

WOOOOOT!!

theEel said...

weed!

ladymtbiker said...

Wow-- podium?

mikeweb said...

0 for 7

Anonymous said...

Boosh!

Ed said...

Top Ten

Jimboner said...

Suck it!

JB said...

Nooooooo!

Mr. Dr. Bonkologist said...

Another top ten? This training is paying off... plus all the dope!

Anonymous said...

TOOP TEEN

McFly said...

I went on a spirited SHOP RIDE(tm) yesterday evening and I took 2 Excedrin an hour before we rolled out and I want to come clean about it.

*SHOP RIDE is trademarked and a subsidiary of Fast Assholes That Won't Talk to Us, Inc. and any likeness or usage is punishable by law.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

front group finish on friday.

Blob Fords said...

Crud.
Snobby,
I will be in on vacation from the 4th-18th with no internet that means no BS for 25 days! How will I survive?

mikeweb said...

babble on FTW!

It's gotta be the calves.

babble on said...

Lance shoulda stuck to Boosting: Fifty Shades of Performance Enhancement and no awkward residue...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Damn, the semi-pro bike blog business must be where its at these days you sure take enough vacations.

africansingle said...

Silly thing to say about women's racing if you're based in Beaver Creek ? Hell, I'd paddle my way up said creek with my stumps. If I had to.

JB said...

That aged full-squish Raleigh is screaming for a Wingz seatpost rack.

Anonymous said...

Uff-da.

Buffalo Bill said...

Very good then, shall we commence the march toward 100?

Have a nice vacation snob. That's like your fourth this year right?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Funny quiz. I aced it too. Have a nice rest period.

Anonymous said...

"wicking pedia?" I think Stanley Wiggins prefers you call it "wank-a-pedia"

JB said...

Who approved this vacation? Armstrong, while he was all doped-up*?

*allegedly

Surly Bastard said...

I would have been first but when I saw the dandelion-head pennyfarthing tatt I was paralyzed. I just came out of a few moments ago. I think I'm okay. I just never want to see that again.

McFly said...

I bet Beaver Creek is so wet. Hopefully not fishy.

Anonymous said...

Snob, you pulled a "Stanley Wiggins" by calling Joseph Gordon-Levitt "Jason."

africansingle said...

Ha, don't EVER bet on Beaver Creek brother.

Greg LeMond said...

Retroactive drugs testing has proven that I was the only clean winner of the Tour de France. Ever.

singlespeedwaster said...

Feelin' Laborious

suedepede said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

Snob is taking the time off to watch Perineum Rash. EVERY DAY. Twice on Wednesdays.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

On this dark day for cycling, we should engage in appropriate introspection (McFly --appropriate means gazing into your own navel and not your neighbor's).

We should remember this day and what we were doing when future generations ask where we were when we first learned that Premium Rush has opened in theaters everywhere.

I plan to spend today riding with my dog.

Once he wakes up.

If he’s not too hung over.

I don’t mean to brag, but my dog insists my bike handling skills suggest that I may be related to Mr. Gordon-Levitt’s talented fixed gear stunt double, Mr. Austin Horse.

My dog has often asked if I’m sure I’m not Mr. Horse’s long lost cousin Hobby.

Ride safe all!

And remember, no one can ever take a good ride away from you.

Anonymous said...

Could have ragged a little more on Lance.

Billy said...

All that heavy breathing while Kasshole man-handled that chicken inside and out... I don't know if I can take it!

Also, WTF does he mean by taking the "Arkansas" out of the beer can chicken and making it "Greek"? Beer can chicken is meant to be eaten with BBQ sauce and the rest of the case of beer. Wine pairings? What a chump.

In other news, I bruised my hands last night trying to cut shifter housing with the wire cutters on my pliers. Took it to the shop down the street from my office and a very friendly dude cut it in about 15 seconds with their shop cutters.

AnnaZed said...

Ha, ha , ha the only viable corner of the cycling world where the commenters simply don't care that much about the whole Lance thing. I knew to come straight here immediately.

McFly said...

When I was a kid I swear I thought you did the sexytimes by putting your weewee in the ladyfriends navel. Needless to say my first sexual encouter was a bit awkward. And painful.

"That's not it..." she patiently whispered.

babble on said...

mikeweb- yep. It's the calves. Totally. Not like I'm on my computer all day long or anything.

Surly Bastard - I'm with you on the dandelion head... yikes!

Leroy - can I take your dog out on a bender one day? I could learn a lot from him...

grog said...

Gold babble on. Please submit bodily fluids immediately.
MISS BABE
RIDE GOOD
LABO RDAY

Anonymous said...

Lance who?

Blog Drafter said...

How long before those Tour titles show up on eBay?

mikeweb said...

What's all this about Neil Armstrong not really walking on the Moon seven times?!?

Haters gonna hate, I guess.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Premium Fred

Lance Armstrong said...

Why don't guys guys care about me???
I'm Lance Armstrong!

Anonymous said...

i think it's high time we get an interview from Greg Lemond for his thoughts.

Cipo said...

eating pussy

Greg Lemond said...

Heh!

Anonymous said...

Happy Pluto *is* a Planet Day

Nebraska bike commuter (etc.) said...

Glad to know that I won't miss anything more while I'm traveling. I was able to catch up with the last couple days worth today, but I'm not going to have any 'puter access next week, so see y'all then.

babble on said...

Grog:

Blood? Urine? Cum?

It would be waaaaaaaaaaay more fun if it were Labia Day...

Nebraska bike commuter (etc.) said...

BTW, I think it'd be really funny if the folk who put on the tdf decide they hate USADA more than they hate Lance and let his victories stand just to spite a quasi US gummint entity trying to call the shots. And that's the full extent of my interest in the matter.

Dooth said...

Mr. Austin Horse has not made his bike messenger rounds this summer.

Leroy, nice of you to mention him.

Randy Travis Tygart said...

Are Wild Turkey and Cocaine on the PED list?

McFly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McFly said...

For the life of me I cannot fathom why Cipo is going with the standard Double Hip Grip when there is a perfectly good pony-tail, and a long one I might add, to grab onto for some ride 'em cowboy action.

self-obsessed and sexee said...

I'd pay to see a Cipo/McFly tandem ride on a Peta Todd.
I'll politely wait my turn, of course.

babble on said...

Double hip grip lets you drive it home...

Cipo's busy. He's having lunch.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Wow only 58 comments. Sad. Well thanks greg for commenting. I bought one of your bikes and rode it for a thousand miles or so. Not too bad for an aluminum frame.

Marcel: premium fred -thats funny.

Quilled and Lugged said...

Babble on,

Congrats on the win, but don't go milking the post-race interviews all night. Maybe you should make sure to give that BMC guy a piece of your mind while you're up.

Anonymous said...

@ Mcfly
"That's not it..." she patiently whispered.

"..I'll be needing you to load a fresh O2 cannister soon..." she wheezed

that is all

Hyler Tamilton said...

My new book 'Lance Dopestrong' comes out next Monday. Did you know that Lance had a $200 a day pseudo ephederine habit in third grade? I didm't think so. The book includes a miniture Lance voo-doo doll that you can stick sharp objects into and singe and burn too. AWESOME!

And my book has 'STICKERS' like all 'REAL' bike books should have!

McFly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McFly said...

Fresh O2 indeed, the Double Hip Grip is all Fun-N-Games 'til that 'ol broad cracks a pelvis.

Cipo said...

3P*

*Premium Podium Pussy

jessie pearl said...

Hi., It was very Interesting informations and very useful holiday announcement for peoples.thanks for sharing this info.

shot for slim

Nogocyclist said...

Surgeon in Baton Rouge borrows a kid's bike to be able to get around a bad traffic jam to be able to perform a surgery

Good to see a doctor so dedicated to her patients. Wouldn't you know she is a regular cyclist instead of a lazy noncyclist.

Dr. Frederick Douche' D.D.S. said...

I have been busted for doping at my local club time trial. What's a little blood doping between friends? I mean really a two month suspension? Looks like I forget about the 2013 Tour de France. $12,000 for a bike and I can't even use it. Oh! The inhumanity of it all.

Todd Gugowlski said...

"THERE IS NO WAY THEY WILL CATCH ALBERTO CONTADOR, NOT NO WAY, NOT NO HOW!"


(Awkward pause)


Alejandro Valverde wins the stage...followed by Rodriguez.



Then Alberto.

Anonymous said...

Tilford is such a mad descender that back in the day his rims got so hot the glue melted on his sew-ups and his wheels felt all wobbly.

McFly said...

Cipo still goes down better, I betcha.

Grateful Fred said...

Working Man's Snob

Cipo said...

Yes. I admit to it. Back in the day I doped. I had to take sperm whale estrogen to get my abnormally high testosterone levels down to normal human readings.

Joseba Beloki said...

Yes Tilford. I know the feeling well. It was Lance Armstrong who with his super human powers used his X-Ray vision to melt the glue on my sew ups. Very untubular of him now wasn't it?

To me Lance will always be ...

The Great Amerikan Satan!

Anonymous said...

There's a lot of sage advice. Unfortunately, none of it here.

cycle

Yoda said...

Sometimes at your back the wind is, other times wind it is only.

Paul Bowen said...

Aced the quiz, first time ever I think.

crosspalms said...

Forgot to wish you a good vacation, Snob. Actually, forgot to comment at all (I had to take the bus on Thursday and I think the fumes affected my brain).

babble on said...

Quilled and Lugged -

Cheers, but why would I milk it all night when I've got all week?

CommieCanuck said...

HOLY SHIT.
I JUST heard, 2003 Bandy World champion, Sven Bjorkensson, has admitted that he threw balls with a left hand spin from 2002-2005. the bandy world, and the whole sports world is in a tailspin.

Meanwhile the doping scourge is removed from cycling! Congrats to the new TDF winners: Jan Ullrich and Ivan "birillo" Basso. This fixes everything.

Greg Lemond said...

Ha!
And you fuckers thought I was crazy.

Newt Gingrich and I are now going ahead with the moon base alpha velodrome, dumbasses.

AYHSMBIZG

All you haters..in zero gravity.

Billy said...

@Paul Bowen: Acing the quiz doesn't count if you do it as a take-home. I mean, really? 71 hours of extra study time?

Blog Drafter said...

Lance was going to have to do his scorched earth routine on Big George if the hearing/trial went forward. Not even Lance is that big of an asshole. He pulled the plug because the credibility of the witness list was getting too high.

Boobkie 'Spring' Roll said...

Three year old high on ritalin and juicy juice fruitfuls cherry berry burst wants to ride in the Tour de France so he can be just like Lance.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AJ9ACtsBpk&feature=youtube_gdata_player

CommieCanuck said...

More Rob Ford road safety news...

6 months ago, he was caught driving while on his cell phone, 2 months ago, he almost hit a passenger exciting a street car (for NY, that's a train without the rats), and last week, he was seen driving and reading.

I'm amazed he could read, but doing those pop-up books while driving can be so dangerous.

CommieCanuck said...

He pulled the plug because the credibility of the witness list was getting too high,

Love him or hate him, he is honest in that he never cheated anyone during those 7 years, because they all doped, and that includes Big George, who exchanged his testimony for immunity from prosecution. What a hero.

frilly said...

McFly--Love the Shop Ride(tm) comment! Perfect!

Ahhh, Todd Akin...honestly people, we're better than that, I promise.

Thanks for the ... bgw.

McFly said...

I really showed one of 'em. I de-friended him on the Facing Book. I'm like dang if we can't be friends in real life then I don't see why we should be in the cyber world. I saw on there where he finished 2nd in Cat 5 so you just know he is badass.

I really do not understand how the eye witnesses get immunity for doing the same thing LA did. It shows how someone must have a serious hard-on for the crafty Texan.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Since we seem to have some spare time on our hands, let me give you a few choice quotes from the Federal Judge in his Armstrong decision -- stuff you will never read in the popular press:

"...this [USADA]"charging document" is so vague and unhelpful it would not pass muster in any court in the United States."

"...USADA's conduct raises serious questions about whether its real interest in charging Armstrong is to combat doping, or if it is acting according to less noble motives."

More tomorrow...

Dooth said...

Lance(d) is on the cover of the current NEWSWEEK--a very supportive article by Buzz Bissinger. Who's Buzz? ( Buzz!, not BUZZZED!!!) he's a sports writer for the Daily Beast and an editor with Vanity Fair.

Blog Drafter said...

The Federal investigators figured they didn't have enough to convict in court so they got all realpolitik and passed the whole thing to the quasi legal USADA to accomplish the same thing.

Big George did the correct thing by not lying to FEDERAL investigators irrespective of any immunity deal they dished to him.

They all doped.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Blog Drafter, I once had a kidney stone, and I, too, "passed the whole thing."

Not an experience I am anxious to repeat.

corndoggy said...

aw fuck this shit

Fredrick Catsixforlife said...

So, ummm, I just bought me a new Trek. They threw in a sweet Borah sleeveless jersey. What's this thing about Lance Armstrong and dope? I thought he quit racing YEARS ago. Where can I get some tri clip-ons? Do you guys use NashBar? They seem reputable. How long should my socks be? It seems important. Also, I want to take my pie plate off but I do not know how to remove the rear wheel. Where is a good shop in the Tri-County area?

Jokesfb said...

Wonderful girls pic , I fell relax to see them , Thanks a Lot

JB said...

Forgive my possible pro-bikecycling ignorance, but isn't the USADA taking back Lance's Tour wins like the POTUS revoking Barry Bond's home record?

Cipo said...

I fell the opposite of relax when I see wonderful girls...

Anonymous said...

JB @ 9:33 AM, 8/28 -- It may well be that the UCI, or some such, is the only body that can revoke Lance's tour titles.

But it's possible they may not, because of the enormous can of live bait this would open.

wishiwasmerckx said...

99th...

wishiwasmerckx said...

...and 100th!

Anonymous said...

Lances peed his panties! Whenever they asked him to! Like he was doing something heroic!

David said...

Dear Bike Cat Snob Machine Rock,
I think the whole dope-testing thing is being handled in a ridiculous way by the officials, but I'm surprized that you defend cheaters, first Contador, then Lance. I mean, they broke the rules. They got caught cheating. They got punished. Story old as time. Why waste time feeling sorry for them?

ken e. said...

sorrow and ridicule are two different things.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Time for Armstrong follies, second edition. The Judge also wrote:

"...the Court dismisses Armstrong's claims without prejudice. If it should come to pass that Armstrong does not actually receive adequate notice sufficiently in advance of the arbitration hearing, and it is brought to the court's attention in an appropriate manner, USADA is unlikely to appreciate the result."

"First, it is unclear whether (and if so, to what extent) USADA has violated its own rules...Indeed, given the apparent disagreement between USADA and both UCI and USA Cycling, it is unclear whether Armstrong will be required to proceed to arbitration at all."

Cipo Inc said...

Cumming soon to a Meatatarium near you ...

Anatomically correct 457.2 millimeter (18 inch) 'Cipo' Pepperoni Meat Stick ...

It'll choke a horse dude!

Big George 'Pee-Wee' Hincappe said...

"I know you are but what am I?"

KrapCo said...

Big Goerge Hincapie singing for the USADA now available on CD or itunes.

babble on said...

Heh heh...

Robba the Fords might lose his job.

Levi Weimaraner said...

This one time,

At band camp,

I stuck a needle in my arm.

babble on said...

Cipo Inc...

Horses are vegetarians.

babble on said...

Sweet Jesus - a design award for a pedal-less bicycle - what's next?

McFly said...

Snob endorsed this unholy contraption a while back and we all ordered one. The disc brakes were a great feature at that price point.

Poppa Wheelie said...

Band camp!

Pedal-less bicycle?!?!

Go Cipo go!

Anonymous said...

Babble,
What's next? What's next is you get strapped in it. And pushed around wheel barrow style. And junk.

Sigmund Fried said...

Is it true that Snobbie went to Thailand for the IKEA ginger snaps, Thai stick and a gender change procedure?

Does snob have to do everything d. byrne does?

What dat'all about?

Whitey Blue said...

I'm trying to get y'all high, but the technology is not there, yet.

Whitey Blue said...

I'm trying to get y'all high, but the technology is not there, yet.

babble on said...

McFly - I shoulda known.

Nonny- one man's junk is another man's jewel.

Frilly...Sweet Cheeks?

You said "Ahhh, Todd Akin...honestly people, we're better than that, I promise."

Course you are, honey. Never any doubt about it. He's just a minion of the great Robba, but you've gotta laugh.

I just have to ask, though. Is he saying that we have little ninjas lying in wait deep down in our cunts or that we are lying ninja cunts deep down inside?

The Most Interesting Man in the World said...

"I do not always crash my bicycle, but when I do, it's in the driveway at low speed. Stay clipped in, my friends."

Anonymous said...

Hey Whitey the technology IS there to publish once.

frilly said...

babble on-- +1 on the little ninja's! Fighting off what doesn't belong up in there, i.e. pepperoni meat sticks, etc.!

As a voter in Missouri, I believe what he is saying is he really doesn't want to be re-elected.

Anonymous said...

Instead of listing what does not go "in there", would it not be easier to list what does? Just so we know....for the record.

1) Cipolinni Meat Stick

2) Digit(s)

3) Tongue

4) Nose?

5) Electronic Toys

6) Cash

7) Pecker Tracks

JB said...

@frilly: Yes, it's nice that I don't have to consider who to vote for in that race anymore.

-fellow StLouian

The Hon Michael 'mayor for life' Boomberg said...

In New York city it is now a quadruple felony to intentionally occupy the space that is the path of a NYPD officer initiated flying projectile (OIFP). The police officers have a tough enough job as it is. What next? Aiming before firing. Now come on people lets get real.

frilly said...

JB--Gateway Cup participant?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Third and final installment of the Armstrong follies: What the federal judge wrote:

"Among the Court's concerns is the fact that USADA has targeted Armstrong for prosecution many years after his alleged doping violations occurred, and intends to consolidate his case with those of several other alleged offenders, including--incredibly--several over whom USA Cycling and USOC apparently have no authority whatsoever. Further if Armstrong's allegations are true, and USADA is promising lesser sanctions against other allegedly offending riders in exchange for their testimony against Armstrong, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that USADA is motivated more by politics and a desire for media attention than faithful adherence to its obligations to USOC."

"The events in USADA's charging letter date back fourteen years, span a multitude of international competitions, and involve not only five non-citizens of the United States who were never licensed in this country, but also one of the most well-known figures in the history of cycling. As mystifying as USADA's election to proceed at this date and in this manner may be, it is equally perplexing that these three national and international bodies are apparently unable to work together to accomplish their shared goal--the regulation and promotion of cycling. However, if these bodies wish to damage the image of their sport through bitter infighting, they will have to do so without the involvement of the United States courts."

Pro Cycling Fan Guy said...

Lance Armstrong acheived total physical and mental domination of the Tour de France for seven years. Like him or hate him you cannot take away from him the fact that he dominated. Plus he always showed the highest respect for the sport and his competitors. And the US Postal time trial teams were AWESOME!

Cipo Inc said...

Oh! I failed to mention that the Cipo 457.2 mm ( 18" ) anatomically correct pepperoni* meatstick cums in three tensile strenghts ...

Stiff

Extra Stiff

Cipo Stifff

*turkey pepperoni stick, cipo sushi stick and vegan limp lizard also available

McFly said...

Is it the cooking wine or does Alberto look like "Alien" with his TT healmeant on whilst gritting his teeths?

Anonymous said...

Pro cycling is a joke. A highly entertaining, spectacularly corrupt joke. It's saving grace(s) is that it occurs in wonderfully beautiful countries and that most people don't give a damn about doping.

McFly said...

That's about the best description I have ever did heard.

Emily said...

So I was all "Well, damn. How am I going to go a week without my daily dose of bike snobbery?" Then I realized...this is just a very clever marketing ploy. I'm finally going to have to buy your book.

Well played, sir. Well played.

CommieCanuck said...

Pro cycling is a joke. A highly entertaining, spectacularly corrupt joke. It's saving grace(s) is that it occurs in wonderfully beautiful countries and that most people don't give a damn about doping.

While the others have all disappeared, banned, fined, jailed, Johan Bruyneel and Bjarne Riis still get rich.
Cycling has a 100 year history of corruption, from the velodromes of New York, to the hills of France and Italy.

Dope to compete, no doping, no winning. Now the US moral priests in the press will vilify Armstrong for doping to get his competitiveness back, but they continue to drop to their knees for Wall Street bankers and Mitt Romney/Paul Ryan, Aynd Rand wanna-bees who will fuck you over all day long.

Pro Cyling Fan said...

Six day bike races originated in the USofA in the late 1890s and early 1900s.

Originally the races were raced by individual riders and doping was very prevalent ...

-1896-
Marshall Taylor of the USA was the American champion. He refused to continue a New York race, saying: “I cannot go on with safety, for there is a man chasing me around the ring with a knife in his hand.”4 Nitroglycerine was used to stimulate the heart after cardiac attacks and was credited with improving riders’ breathing, but they suffered hallucinations from the exhaustion and the drugs.5
The riders’ black coffee was ‘boosted’ with extra caffeine and peppermint, and as the race progressed the mixture was spiked with increasing doses of cocaine and strychnine. Brandy was also frequently added to cups of tea. Following the sprint sequences of the race, nitroglycerine capsules were often given to the cyclists to ease breathing difficulties. The individual 6-day races were eventually replaced by two-man races, but the doping continued unabated. Since drugs such as heroin or cocaine were widely taken in these tournaments without supervision, it was perhaps likely that fatalities would occur."

It is and ALWAYS was about the money ...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Emily said...
"So I was all "Well, damn. How am I going to go a week without my daily dose of bike snobbery?" Then I realized...this is just a very clever marketing ploy. I'm finally going to have to buy your book."

Thats true Emily but the last time I checked snob only wrote 2 books. What are you going to do the other 7 weeks out of the year when he's off galavanting lob knows where?

wishiwasmerckx said...

So I walked into my LBS today and asked the guy "How much for this floor pump?"

He says "$125.00."

I said "For a floor pump? Are you kidding me?"

He says "That's inflation for you."

mikeweb said...

Bah-dum-dum.

ken e. said...

that's hilarious!

JB said...

@frilly: I don't race. I ride a 20 yo steel Fuji. You? I may take the kiddies down to watch one of the days.

Blog Drafter said...

WIWM @ 2:48

Careful, Snob will delete stuff like that...can't be funnier than the Man. LOL'd

Anonymous said...

WIWM @ 2:48

Your comment blows

Perry Coma said...

So ...

When's the Tour day France start?

Ben 'triple douche'' Bernanki said...

wiwm @ 2:48

HEY! Where's the punch line?

James Taylor said...

I'm so vain? I probably think this song is about me? This song IS about me. Just because it's in a negative context does not mean it's not about me. Seriously? You are so stupid. Shit like this is why I left your ass.

McFly said...

Purrito!!!

frilly said...

JB--Nah, no racing. In my case, the bike might be able to handle it, the person riding the bike would probably need a defibrillator after 2 laps. I'll be there, cowbell in hand, unless Isaac puts the kibosh on things.

Alchemist said...

PODIUM!!!! Aug 31
see you on Radio Flyer tonight

Alchemist said...

PODIUM!!!! Aug 31
see you on Radio Flyer tonight

McFly said...

Is there anything more grotesque than a British commentator Pearling in his Izumi's when a british rider wins a stage in a grand tour?

JB said...

one and a half

Anonymous said...

Dead last!

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford is not crazy about descending in the wet. Who likes going down in the wet? THIS GUY!(points finger at self)

Dooth said...

CommieCanuck for Emperor of the World...NOW!!!

Queen Victoria said...

to WIWM:

We are highly amused.

Anonymous said...

I apparently am the only one on here that has mad note that Snobbie's absonding of his blog corresponds to Burning Man.

He's may very well have wrapped his Scattante in fur, to ride around BRC, providing sarcastic and deft criticism of burning man bike culture.

It's a working vacation.

Steven Cummings said...

"I'M CUMMINGS!"

Phil Legit & Paul SUREWIN said...

Team Tilford took every gold, silver & bronze at the 2012 Douche' Olympics.

Anonymous said...

NPR piece on Copenhagen and highways for cyclists.

http://www.npr.org/2012/09/01/160386904/in-bike-friendly-copenhagen-highways-for-cyclists

Bentit Surf said...

Tilford's new movie ...

'Premium Douche''

McFly said...

PURITO!!!

McFly said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3nMnr8ZirI&feature=youtube_gdata_player




Cycling Radvocate.

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ce said...

I got nothing.

ce said...

Wait...

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

...no, still nothing.

leroy said...

Podium!!!!!

Huh? Oh dear.

Never mind.

leroy said...

Hey look -- cheap Louis Vuitton handbags!

Podium!!!!

What?

Still too soon?

Dang. That was my best move.

leroy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
leroy said...

Honestly, cheap Lois Vuitton handbags make me kind of wish I hadn't spent all my money on that Rolex my dog sold me.

But it's a rare one.

I mean how many Rolexes have you seen with a Mickey Mouse face and velcro strap?

Anonymous said...

OK, last offer: Dead Last!

Anonymous said...

There will be blood!

Anonymous said...

C'mon!

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