Friday, June 29, 2012

BSNYC Friday FUn CKwiz!

Firstingly:

This blog will be closed next week.



Actually, it won't technically be closed, since you're free to enter and wander about wherever you'd like.  It's just that I won't be updating it, nor will anybody be around to clean the bathrooms.  If you're wondering why I'll be gone, the detailed answer is because I have to do some stuff.  However, once I've did that stuff I'll be back on Monday, July 9th with regular updates.

Secondingly, speaking of America's Favorite Family Fun Park, this coming week Americans will observe Independence Day.  If you're unfamiliar with this holiday, it's a magical time during which we take a break from shooting at each other with guns and instead focus on blowing ourselves up with fireworks:



Actually, the narrator of the above video sounds like he might be Canadian, but almost melting your face off with a Roman candle mounted to a department store bike is still very much in the July 4th spirit.

Thirdsly, tomorrow begins the annual touring of France known as the Tour de France, during which the fastest riders in the world who are not injured, suspended, or incarcerated will compete to win the fabled mayo jawn, which is the second-most coveted prize in cyclesport (the first being an exoneration in a doping investigation).  Amazingly, it's now gotten to the point that the favorites are last year's winner Cadel Evans and no year's winner Bradley Wiggins:


("Where the hell did I leave my sunglasses?")

The hopes of an entire nation rest on those sideburns, and it will be sad to watch those hopes slowly sink like a bunch of kittens adrift on a pond in a boat made from construction paper.  Of course, if he does win, I'll gladly travel to the UK and publicly eat my hat, but only because that's still vastly preferable to partaking in British cuisine.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz, which you'll have a whole extra week to complete.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then get excited and punch the cat, and if you're wrong you'll see the Shark bike.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you must light fireworks please refrain from pointing them directly at your face.  I look forward to seeing you again, faces intact, on Monday, July 9th.


--Wildcat Rock Machine








1) Amazingly, the cycling media continues to treat Levi Leipheimer like a serious contender in the Tour de France.

--True
--False







2) Trick Question: Though it briefly visits other nations, the Tour de France takes place almost entirely in which European country?

--France
--England
--Spain
--Germany








(Author Martin Amis, abjectly miserable in his brownstone prison.)

3) What is a "good spondee?"

--"Strong. Place. You can’t stress one or the other. Two big stresses.”
--A refreshing chilled beverage sold by 7-11
--British slang meaning "money well spent"
--Australian slang for exceptional fellatio









4) According to Edgar Allan Poe, baptism is a bad spondee.

--True
--False







5) Which of the following is not among the reasons to ride a bike as listed by the AAA?


--"It's a great form of exercise"
--"It's good for the environment"
--"It's fun to ride"
--"It's a good last resort for when your license is suspended or your car is in the shop."









6) "LumaHelm can also:"

--"...visualize heart rate to make other (road) users aware that the helmet wearer is a fragile human being and makes visible to others that the wearer invests physical effort."
--"...emit a series of chirping and whirring noises to alert (the wearer) to danger."
--"...stumulate dopamine receptors in the brain to make the wearer's ride more pleasurable."
--"...let the world know that the rider owns a vast collection of 'Star Wars' memorabilia and has never had a romantic relationship with another human being."







7) The film "Fixed Gear Addis Ababa" is about a rider who, after being forced to walk his fixie up a hill in Ethiopia, experiences the epiphany that he should just grow up and get a bike with derailleurs already.

--True
--False



***Special Trick Bonus Question***



(Eggs.)

Simply calling something a trick question is sufficient to make it a trick question.

--True
--Eggs


283 comments:

1 – 200 of 283   Newer›   Newest»
petrus said...

Numero I!!

petrus said...

Wait, there was a quiz? haha!! Sucxers!!

Anonymous said...

Wu Tang is for the children

Jasper said...

Early doors

Anonymous said...

Ding!

Anonymous said...

Ding!

Todd Colby said...

Pleasure!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Top 10

Redcoat said...

You do have to wonder about a country where fireworks are illegal because they are dangerous, but firearms are pretty much given away with cereal packets

Anonymous said...

TOOOOP TEEEEE....
aw who gives a cluck?

Captain Hardbread said...

hello!

le Correcteur said...

Top twenny unread unquizzed.
Earlyish?

Jimboner said...

13th?

Anonymous said...

Lame post WCRM. Seems like you are already on vacation!

Anonymous said...

Hey!

cycle

Porky said...

I will gladly make you a hat out of bacon.

singlespeedwaster said...

World Naked Top 20!

Anonymous said...

Top Ten Yesterday........Top XX today??

BOOYAH!

wishiwasmerckx said...

It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time; it's tricky, tricky, tricky...

Oh, and another thing, if you think that Snob is going to trick me into watching 5:45 of chicken porn, you have another thing coming...

babble on said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
theEel said...

weeeeeed.

Anonymous said...

Taking the week off to watch the Tour! Good on you.

babble on said...

Dearest Mr. BS,
Further to yesterday's post: you are absolutely right. We need to lure more of the reluctant sort of riders out onto the streets.
And further to today's trick question- just saying it is so doesn't make it so, but believing in it does, because your actions will make it so.
Here's to a little independent thought to go with your happy holiday...
apocaloptimistic expectations

RANTWICK said...

How did you know I punch my cat?

Marcel Da Chump said...

As if Wiggins doesn't have motivation to win the TDF...your promise might push him to the top.

Sigmund Fried said...

Eventually USofA will have a gay, not that there is anything wrong with that, President.

Who regardless of sex will be referred to the 'The Queen' ...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Stumulating post!

Anonymous said...

MAYO YAWN

Buffalo Bill said...

After watching it three times, I'm mystified as to what the purpose of the trick question is. Can anyone enlighten me?

Anonymous said...

5.9 kg = 13.04 lbs = 2.24 babies = 3.14 milks

Skip Troof said...

I don't have a cat... or, I may have a cat. I'll just punch the box.

crosspalms said...

Does that Shark Bike meet AAA requirements for sidewalk/salmon transitioning? Earpiece guy handled it quite smoothly (and deserves a punch in the face).

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob. Thank you for considerately taking your vacation time the same week I am taking mine.
yours truly. Me.

Anonymous said...

Is a "Cat Puncher" someone who couldn"t cut it as a "Cow Puncher", or is that "Cow Poke". Sorry my Western is all messed up.

Anonymous said...

Lanterne Rouge?

I read the quiz, but refuse to answer the questions until next week. If Snobbie isn't going to be around to grade it, what's the point?

B.B.; I think the point of the trick question is to trick you into viewing it.

Apparently, it works.

Captain Hardbread said...

Two Big STRESSES!good News WRM, And while Mr. Amis probably won’t be satirizing artisanal cheeses, Bugaboo strollers and the Park Slope Food Co-op anytime soon, your Blog is safe!
Ima gonna frame the Poe picture!
is that two?

Fred Nifacent said...

Woo hoo hoo - 9

Anonymous said...

Cats can swim

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

I dispute question 1:

Bicycling magazine is not part of the cycling media

Anonymous said...

You CAN buy Fireworks in the USofA, but not everywhere. Same with guns and bullets.

Don't bleed on me.

bikesgonewild said...

...remember the old saying - "...once the chicken has crossed the road to get to the other side, don't put all your eggs in one basket because you'll get egg on your face trying to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg..."...

...not just words to live by, but pretty much my personal philosophy for years now...

Stupid Name said...

Edgar in Ray-Bans How awesome is that.

Anonymous said...

I watched the whole shark bike thing just drool over that girl in the vid.

bikesgonewild said...

...i think bsnyc/rtms/wcrm is taking next week off to teach an 'advanced bicycling skills course' for aaa...

...i mean, who's better suited...than a man with a chicken suit of his own ???...

JB said...

Sorry folks! Blog's closed. Fred up front shoulda told ya.

Frank Farkles said...

Watch my vid or ima fire work you

King Cobra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCrYgacxH-w&noredirect=1

bikesgonewild said...

...frank, baby...your patriotic eloquence, your artistic forethought, your team's brilliant technical expertise,& the simple yet delightful spirit of 'joie de vivre' (that's french, frank) has this video standing amongst the giants in the pantheon of true american cinema classics...

...i wept, i cried, i stood & saluted & in the true spirit of the upcoming 4th of july, i sang 'god bless america' for all to hear...

Anonymous said...

It's nice to know that Toronto is not the only city that wants to ban bikes.

http://www.bikeradar.com/news/article/colorado-city-bike-ban-challenged-26801/

CommieCanuck said...

I punch cats all the time. Cats are the assholes of the animal world.

And rhinoceroses are just fat unicorns.

crosspalms said...

Sorry, Frank, I'll have to wait till next week to watch, in spite of bgw's review. I'm still too frazzled after yesterday's sock video.

Anonymous said...

No fair, everyone knows you wear pizza for a hat.

bikesgonewild said...

...don't worry, crosspalms...franks video is sheer entertainment...

...i sent away for the whole 'how to throw a sock on the floor' instructional compilation...

...clean sock, dirty sock, white sock, red sock, black sock...i'm pretty sure they're worth every penny...

...knowledge...it's a powerful tool...

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 2:15- no kidding.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

We have several brick-paved streets in my town that would stop the Shark bike within 10 yards.

crosspalms said...

You're a brave man, bgw -- I salute you.

And for TdF fans, there's a nifty slide show on the New Yorker's web site.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford has a jacked-up shoulder but he's not taking any time off. Just FYI.

Anonymous said...

That spondee is worth more than my life.

Kracker Cipo said...

The incredible ...

edible ...

pootie tang!

Ln Wf said...

shv ur spnde up ur a$$

Anonymous said...

Isn't a spondee an edged weapon on a stick?

The WNBA said...

Q: "Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?"

A: "Because he heard that the ref was blowing fouls."

Anonymous said...

129 W. 81st Street!

ashcroftchops said...

My dogs are barking!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

Anonymous said...

Dear God! A week without BS! I demand compensation, or failing that, explanation!

Anonymous said...

That is one magic loogie!

wishiwasmerckx said...

No mention of whether Snob will be blogging the TdF this year. I assume that the lack of mention means "no."

Personally, I am secretly rooting for Wiggins to win because he could really use the prize money. Obviously, they do not pay him enough to afford a decent barber.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I am withholding my subscription dues until Snob returns to regular posting.

Wait, what? Well, fuck you guys. How do I get content for free, too?

Anonymous said...

You gotta love a guy like Wiggins, though. If he couldn't ride a bike, he'd be the quintessentially English bloke who says "Blimey, mate, but we're in a spot of bother with all this heat, so let's finish this job of work and pop over to the pub for a pint, eh?"

Anonymous said...

My brain is exturemely stumulated.

Anonymous said...

These panties are making me thirsty!

Anonymous said...

And you wanna be my latex salesman?

Anonymous said...

No, I sell spondees. Only the finest quality accents!

Anonymous said...

My cat is my little buddy. Punching cats is not even close to funny. People who suggest it are the assholes of the blogworld.

McFly said...

Tour Day Who?

McFly said...

Roman Candle set ups is where a Fixie would be vastly superior. The operator would just remain calm, and then pedal backwards to be "off the front" of the sparkleshow.

Leonardo Plinth BaDaDouche' said...

I hear Leroys dog is playing the lead in an off Broadway musical adaptation of 'Old Yeller'?

I hear the hydrophobie death scene is totally totally Shakespearian.

Do I Hear TONY!!!!!

Recumtard said...

RECUMBENT FIREWORKS!!! DUCK!!!!!

Anonymous said...

does the shark bike come in bamboo?

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

Look what I just found: design your own WRM

Anonymous said...

Tom Bonnen is electing not do the Tour so he can[not get beat by Cav] focus on the Olmpics.

McFly said...

Ce,
You cannot beat a hardtail mtn bike with slicks and deep aero rims.

Chevalier Douche'bag said...

In honor of the TdF ...

Frog flavoured Crepe panties ...


BOOOnnnnnneeeeeNNNNNN!!!!!!

Slammin Fredddie Douche' D.D.S. said...

Hey! Right this minute I'm flying my private jet over the Atlantic Ocean. I'm coming up on Ireland. Do I take a left or a right to get to the Tour dey France starting line. Bob Roll drew me a map on a cocktail napkin just last week. We had a d. byrne's bamboo flavoured schnapps chugging contest and I think I might have won but I'm not certain? The next day my ears were killing me. Bobkie sure can talk. Plus he does a great Mic Jaggeresque 'Jump'in Jack Flash' routine at the end of which he ignites a stream of Bicardi 151 that is spewing from his mouth.

Anyhow wish me luck.

What is a prologue?

Robert Warvi said...

comfy bar stool comfort,Italian derailleur measured in ounces. Yes, yes-here:
www.day6bicycles.com

bikesgonewild said...

...it's always so nice when bsnyc/rtms/wcrm escapes the confines of this site & we get to experience the exponential increase of 'spam slam' for products of a dubious nature...

...yep...your pidgin english has convinced me that i should give you my credit card information so that i may (or may not) receive what are quite likely 'knock-offs' from asia...thanks for the opportunity...

...it's annoying when even 'real' cycling products are being hustled because 99% of the time, the seller has no interest in this blog other than using it as a vehicle for his/her benefit...

...but, hey, it's all part of the joys of the internet...

McFly said...

Helena he does not mean YOU darlin'.

counter van comment halen said...

ATE E
NINE

WPVelo said...

oh boy oh boy oh boy!

now we get a week to just talk amongst ourselves...like that time we ran the ticker to what? the original goal was 600 and then we went 800...did it make 1000? i forgot so long long ago.

hey-tune in here to post/read your/our commentations upon the great chase across the yellow nation of yurp.

_or not_ we'll see.

next.

WPVelo said...

Voeckler, Cancellara, Evans, Wiggo all rock it, but Wiggs looked best from here.

WPVelo said...

Remind me to change my blogger avatar >>> bad lighting yo

bob said...

Fuck you snob, that first shoked me.

dont stop

Allstate Guy said...

Emily is just starting out, and she is on a budgit. But she looks ALOT like Zooey Deschanel so I am quite certain many men will help her out financially.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Well, congrats to Peter Sagan, although anyone who saw him as a 19 year old neo-pro roar up the climbs to win the queen stage of the 2010 Tour of California at Big Bear would not be surprised.

If your friends do not know their Maxime Monfort from their Maxime Bouet, just tell them that Peter is the son of noted astronomer Carl Sagan.

auf deutsche said...

SEX und Nuenzig!

WPVelo said...

I tried to watch (NBC) today. I can't take it anymore. I can't take the announcers continually explaining that bicycle has two wheels and that riders use their legs to propel the machines and that the big group of riders is what they call a "peloton". then, after commercial break (oh i gotta get me an ab thingy-those pretty women assured me "it works!") then after commercial break, they start in again. This is a hill, look at the chart below, the yellow hills have been ridden the green hills are yet to come. a cat4 hill is not much. these riders will pedal hard. these teams will protect their leader. It takes a team to win the tour. These are professional riders, see how they run over plastic bottles.

my fave for the day: this is not a stadium, this is not an arena-wrt pictures not being perfect. save that shit for the days the birds are grounded.

Why must they speak to the audience as if they are 4th-graders from a non-bicycle-racing planet? oh don't answer that.

eff all that, show me the racin' and shut the eff up. and puh-lease don't tell me what's going on inside a racer's mind ala mr. madden. also i think i heard this:

Jens Voigt* is 56 years old and has 17 children who have all raced in the TDF with Geo. Hincape. A Double is winning any GT plus this one. This one is the yellowest of all...

blah blah blah etc. ad nauseam forever.

I can't even watch bull riding any more I'm so sick of what's-his-face's voice.

yeah yeah MUTE button.

bonus material:

*If Chuck Norris raced a bicycle, his name would be Jens Voigt.

catch a wheel said...

century sprints? hop on!

spinter with a splintr said...

too easy, i'm sittin' up. just one point anyways.

McFly said...

My favorite rider is the #38 Euskatel Floyd Landish looking guy simply because he is palping a goatee. That's some serious tradition-bucking right there.

bikesgonewild said...

...jeezus, wpvelo...you're starting to sound like some kinda spoiled entitled child...

...you 'get' that they're basically trying to sell this to the 'clue nada' masses, ya ???...

...just suck it up & realize you get to sit & watch 'le tour de france' live & don't take it for granted...

...it certainly wasn't always so...

wishiwasmerckx said...

If you have been around the sport long enough to remember when the sum and substance of TdF coverage on US TV was a weekly 1/2 hr. special each weekend of the race, then you would be a little more forgiving of the occasional pablum served up by Phil and Paul.

Anonymous said...

Brad for the win!

oh and UK cuisine > US Cuisine

Evidenced by
Grits
That crap the US call chocolate eg Hershey bars
The sheer volume of sugar in the US diet
DingDongs

Where as we only have
HP Sauce
Blackpudding
Steak and Kidney Pie
Fish and Chips
Chocolate with Cocoa and Milk
Marmite

and that is not counting our portions tend to be smaller, it's just some of our UK residents think they can double up like they do in the good ole U-S-of-A.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...i hope i wasn't too harsh on wpvelo but damn, ya, absolutely & even the coverage you speak of was better than reading about it 3 months after the fact which is how it began pour moi...

...sometimes with my limited french whilst perusing journalist owen mulhollands old miroir de cyclisme's carefully hand carried back from europe...

...sorry, wpvelo...

Anonymous said...

Blackpudding? I know her....

Cipo said...

eating podium pussy

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

@Anonymous July 1, 2012 6:01 PM

Ok, I'll admit Hershey's milk chocolate and Hostess brand confections (Ding Dongs, Twinkies, etc.) are a lot to live down, but grits is called polenta everywhere else in the world, and nothing to be ashamed of, and I've met damn few foreigners who didn't want to learn how to do pork shoulder and/or rib BBQ after they tried it the first time.

Anonymous said...

I stuck running through a revolving door. You forgot to shut it off; but you're gone now& you're closed.

Anonymous said...

Wigging out for bad Bradley Wiggins! (You cut your hair noooooo?){You're fine either way though.} I can't breath air while I'm cycling my leg hair has lost it protective barrier. I think I might give myself a full waxing. Hair for hair = is gone for few.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Did Paul Sherwin really just say "The yellow flag with the cock on it?"

Anonymous said...

BGW --- Aargh. These folks complaining about Phil 'n Paul chatter don't know how good they have it.

I remember back in the mid-60s when my friend's former nanny in Paris would mail him care packages of L'Equipe so he could follow, weeks after the fact, the epic battles between Poulidor and Anquetil. We always rooted for Poulidor, but I think he didn't have good enough drugs, or something, and was "the eternal second".

Yours, anonymous Zappa-fan/Jaquie-and-Charlie acquaintance

JB said...

I too used to get L'Equipe in the 60s. Second hand, after my French neighbor had read them. I can't read French, so I'd have to type it all into Google Translate. Good times.

grog said...

I'll watch TdF when Recumbabe participates. Happy Yankee Doodly Dandy!

McFly said...

The Paul-N-Phil Show with a Bob Roll chaser is a nice setup. They could commentate on cats humpin' in an alley and make it interesting.

[Insert English Accent]

"She has her back-hair on edge, that Tom will need to dig into his suitcase of courage to mount her!"

d. byrne said...

If all the bikes ridden in the Tour de France were made of 1000% bamboo and all the riders were totally totally vegan and the only drugs utilized were all of natural origin, then think, imagine, what a wonderful world this would be.

Babe Winklemen said...

********ATTENTION********

Fabian Cancellara's still damp chamios* from stage two of the 2012 TdF ...


$100,000

*this item comes with a noterezed certificant of authementicity

WPVelo said...

oh look Cav won a sprint.

hey-WRT my bitching about the commentary: i love the coverage, but the drivel makes it unwatchable. it was cute for about 10 years-now i'm done.

two words:

web stream.

(pick a language any language)

it is reported that leroy's dog will step on the mute button during the blatherfest.

good on him.

yogisurf said...

I got a 100!

yogisurf said...

I got a 100!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Cav won the sprint today by a single PTB, a measure of distance unfamiliar in our US "pounds/miles/farenheit" system. It stands for "Peta Todd boobie, and it measures the distance from the chest wall to the nipple of Cav's wife's ponderous funbags.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 11:03: Nice of you to mention Poulidor, seeing as where he was on the podium to congratulate the jersey winners in today's stage. Poulidor never got the best of Anquetil, but Poulidor was and is beloved by the fans, whereas the mercurial and prickly Anquetil never was a fan favorite.

Anquetil was invited to the podium ceremonies todat as well, but was unable to attend on account of the fact that he has been dead since 1987.

Anonymous said...

&JB at 11:21,
So you used Google Translate in the 1960's, riiiiight, and what computer and www were you on? Or maybe it was just the drugs....

crosspalms said...

bgw,
You were right about Frank's video. Peace, yo!

Max Mills said...

Hi. I am a novice English cyclist currently riding 5000 miles from the east to west coast of America. Please check out my blog at http://maxrickymills.tumblr.com/ and like my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/MaxMills5000MilesAcrossAmerica

McFly said...

Phil got so excited that he gave Cav 5 win credits for one win. Paul Sherwin was like, "Actually Phil that's only 21 wins, not 25".

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:51 -- Poulidor was a real salt-of-the-earth guy, and apparently never got too full of himself. He was (and thankfully still is) a very appealing character.

leroy said...

My dog is peeved that he didn't get the necessary Kickstarter funding to pursue his get rich quick scheme.

I don't want to give too much away, but it involved setting up fake lemonade stands near local crit podia in order to sell clean urine samples.

I told him it wouldn't work.

I mean who would trust him for a clean sample?

And anyway, those guys advertising "Clean Bottle" at the TdF are already using the catchy name he had in mind.

Ride safe (and clean)all!

WPVelo said...

ARRight, back to the fireworks. "uni" means "one". they only lit one (and we all knew it would fly back into his face) but as I counted with my fingers and one thumb, i saw three fireworks attached to the bicycle of patriotic glory, thus making it -patriotically enough- a "tri-corn".

effing kids.

you light the crap with a torch (all fuses at once) and run it over a ramp...into a lake

all ways.

this what gets you on the Toshpointoh show.

you're welcome.

Anonymous said...

NBC is a suitcase of meh.

I'm already tired of that Specialized commercial.

Record NBC, watch the stream for the much better announcers (Sean Kelly and some other British guy whose name I can't remember) and then watch NBC at night for the clearer scenery which you've recorded in HD. TDF is all about the scenery and armchair traveling. Tune out the by now stereotyped commentators,

Those of you that work during the day: grow some balls, tie up the IT guys if you must, and pick a stream from Procyclinglive.com, preferably the English feed vie Stopstream, with the above mentioned commentators, put it in the corner of your monitor and enjoy. The GNP can stand your absence for a while.

Just saying, from the eastern US .

KlickKlickHiss said...

@ Max Mills
It's nice you're out for a large time with the bicycle cycling but 'round these parts(read america) we don't much take to polite invitations to indulge you with the attention you seek in a social media format.

Try kickstarter.

Don't forget we drive on the proper side of the road so you may be tending to want to be doing it allRONG.
Be careful the right on red is different from state to state and observed nowhere. Right hook, bad deal.

If the semi's don't get you the gangbangers are patiently waiting on the other coast.

Best regards

King of the Sleestak.

Anonymous said...

Don't know about you guys, but missing the snob.

cycle

Jasper said...

Not missing him so much, but glad the comments stream is flowing - we should get way over 200 before the end of the week.
Happy TdeF streaming after breakfast here on the West Coast via Cyclingfans, and if you get bored of the glib Eurosport guys (David Harmon misreading Valverde for Vandevelde and taking a long time to dig himself out of that hole, while Sean coolly kept mum until later), you can always find a Flemish commentary which makes it sound so much more exciting.
Though today with Sagan was lively enough already

mikeweb said...

Sagan may end his career with a lot of wins.

Perhaps billions and billions.

Anonymous said...

This is the year for an unknown to win a whole set of stages. Not just Le Tour de France the rest of he "little unknown noT cared" about rACES.

CommieCanuck said...

I know the blog is closed, but I just need a parking lot to hang out in and smoke dope.

ken e. said...

you, me, and carl sagan cc!

CommieCanuck said...

Fuck Snob, he abandoned us, I say we Occupy© Snob.

Few things so far in France:

1. Paul and Phil will be fined $10,000 each if they ever mention Ryder Hesjedal's name, even though he is currently listed in "below 9th".

2. Phil Ligget gets a tasty treat from a hidden dispenser every time he points out Cadel Evens in the peloton, two treats for saying "big George" Hincapie, who is celebrating is 17th year of irrelevance in France.

3. Please test Peter Sagan's pee for traces of Mario Cipollini.

4. DIRK HOFFMANN MOTORHOMES

CommieCanuck said...

Hi. I am a novice English cyclist currently riding 5000 miles from the east to west coast of America. Please check out my blog at http://maxrickymills.tumblr.com/ and like my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/MaxMills5000MilesAcrossAmerica

Nah.

Deke Douche' Velo International Urinalist said...

Fabian Cancellara's cockpit presence coefficient figures have just become available to the general pubic. And quite impressive they are. This spatial/time measurment is rendered in ICTU (Intergalactic Cippolini Testosteral Units) and Fabian is the first rider other than 'Super Mario' to crack the 9 barrier with a reading of .91736 ICUs. Of course Cipo is rated 1.0 ICTU. A standard by which all are measured but none have ever achieved. Other that Cipo.

Cavendish came in at .255376 ICTU and Chavenel unt Voeckler failed to register any numbers on the ICU scale thereby proving once and for all that French pro cyclists for the most part are all massive pussies.

Anyone out there remember Virenque?

I didn't think so ...

Anonymous Coward said...

Anyone else notice the recumbent dork stabbing at the sky with his feet along side the peleton with about 8k to go on stage 2?

mikeweb said...

After you dudes are done with your J-ber in the parking lot, I think CC is due for an avatar photo update.

CommieCanuck said...

Anyone out there remember Virenque?

Didn't he "dance on the pedals" with an IV bag hanging off his arm?

Deke Douche' Velo International Urinalist said...

Better living through chemistry ...

CommieCanuck said...

Mike, this IS the update, my old avatar was the Mayor of Toronto, Robba-the-Hutt Ford.

This fat fuck took out all the bike lanes the first week in office, and is on a mission to move all commuters underground in subways. He recently gained 4 lbs in an effort to reduce his 314lb girth.

He's famous for calling 911 if he feels threatened by people asking questions. He's the last hurrah of the Great White Dope.

Sadly, I went to high school with him, never thought a stoner flunkee would amount to much, I was right.

mikeweb said...

CC,

That's just as well anyway. Gazing on the Vigoda gives me inner piece.

Sorry to hear about your Rob-lem up there. Looks to me that he probably can't donate blood. When they put the needle in, I'm guessing that gravy comes out.

misster-PISSTA said...

when I was a kid I didnt want to wait for International Cycle Sport for tour coverage.Don and April Stockard hadnt started writing for Competative Cycling (long live the BIKE BARB) but I was in sanfrancisco. I would take my papaerroute money down to the international bookstore and get Mirror Du Cyclisme only one week late, and they had 5 issues in JULY!
In 1980 I summered in england and was amazed the tour was on television (hell television was amazing my hippy parents wouldnt have one in the house) I was so amazed by it I set up my camera in front and took photos (slides in fact) I recently found could pick out Thevenet Zootelmelk and the rest..at that point england only had coverage once a week..
I am here in japan and streaming is the only coverage a couple of days ago I heard a great interview with Stephen Roache on one of them.. but most of the time I put on one of the BBC6 punk specials for the audio track..Steve Cook is the funniest DJ... till next time from Japan i am MISSTER PISSTA

Quilled and Lugged said...

"Anonymous Coward said...

Anyone else notice the recumbent dork stabbing at the sky with his feet along side the peleton with about 8k to go on stage 2?"

Yeah, about as interesting as those village folk who make patterns in the fields with their tractors so the helicopters can film them for three seconds.

Anonymous said...

Another cheap win for wheel-sucking Sagan. . . .

Anonymous said...

hey you kids quit smokin' my grass!

WPVelo said...

i'm wit you CC.

what was the steve martin movie?

wheel suckin?! tha's how races are won silly.

WPVelo said...

last _sucker_ to go to the front before the line generally wins.

and then is tested.

and eventually stripped of his title two or three years later.

helment.

Buffalo Bill said...

Ok, I've visited the rest of the cycling internet. It was kinda boring, although it is the only place I can get any coverage of that tour thing.

leroy said...

My dog informs me that Rob Ford's blood type is Ragu.

Anonymous said...

Big long flat roads, no conk 'rounhere.

wishiwasmerckx said...

So, geargeeks, explain something to me. For years, the helmet manufacturers have advertised as their primary selling point the number of vents in their helmets, meaning more airflow keeping you cooler in addition to weight savings.

In this year's TdF, I noticed that the yellow helmets of Wiggins and Cav had no vents on the top, and the helmet of today's winner Griepel looked like it was wrapped in saran wrap.

What gives?

Anonymous said...

vents are for pussies. and grills.

CommieCanuck said...

pfffffff....

Another cheap win for wheel-sucking Sagan. . . .

oh, you know a lot about sprint finishes.

[exhaaaaale]

Occupy© Snob day two.

I remind everyone to keep their excrement bags at least 10 feet from the tents and no less that 8 feet in the trees. We mail them to Rob Ford Friday.

Drum Circle starts in 20 minutes.

Tonight's discussion topic:

"I wear a Rastafarian hat and a t-shirt with a big pot leaf on it, and have dreadlocks -why do the cops single me out for dope searches?"

Doritos and Funyuns provided.

CommieCanuck said...



In this year's TdF, I noticed that the yellow helmets of Wiggins and Cav had no vents on the top, and the helmet of today's winner Griepel looked like it was wrapped in saran wrap.

What gives?


According to Nick Legan at Velonews, Cavendish "pre-Won" his stages and the world Championship last year by sealing up his helmet vents. Yep, it was all helmet vents.

It's all explained in this formula.

And if you can't understand that, you're a fucking idiot. The point is for cyclists at home: buy something different every 5 weeks.

CommieCanuck said...

Yesterday's stage some idiot in a biek helment was waving his arms in front of the motorcycle camera and got beaned by a scooter from behind.

This is the beauty and majesty of Le Tour De France.

McFly said...

THE VANILLA GORILLA WINS A THRILLA! Oh that's right, Cav crashed out.

Good ride today, 100 miles, 100 degrees. In sad news a "more mature"[63] rider in our regular group crashed hard and ruined a new Vols healment. He is OK. Too many sketchy new guys.

Uncle Sam said...

Is that damn foreigner CommieCanuck even allowed to post here on the Fourth of July?

Rollie said...

Happy foff of July!

Ln Wf said...

HpY 4th Mthrfukrs

Anonymous said...

occupy snob street has been chugging right along eh?

ce said...

Snob = 1%
Commenters = 99%

Bonk said...

This Turdy France stuff has me pretty excited. I've been punching the box(cat?) all week! Except for about 5 hours on Tuesday when it got stuck up a tree. Even then I threw rocks at it for a while. On Weedsday morning it was back on the ground.

It doesn't look that good though, kinda ratty. I think tomorrow I'll go look for another box that may contain a cat (to punch).

I wonder if it's ok to just throw the old box(cat?) into the garbage. I guess so, right? I mean, it may not have a cat in it. It does smell pretty rank...

Anonymous said...

Only assholes are mean to cats. Cruelty is just not funny.

Anonymous said...

Will the real Forrest Gump please stand up?

TOM HANKS said...

I won a stage in the TDF!

Anonymous Coward said...

Happy Cinco de Julio

Or National Burn Awareness day for all the Americans. Because, if you burned yourself lighting fireworks yesterday, you are undoubtedly ware of it today.

Anonymous Coward said...

*aware, not ware

FAT FNGER

wishiwasmerckx said...

I am Psyched! My Trendy Top order should be delivered today, and my new Selle Italia "Safety Alert Seat" should arrive shortly.

Nebraska Bike Commuter (non DWI edition) said...

@ Anonymous Coward

Ware would work as a poetic construct for wary.

Anonymous said...

The road to Rouen is paved with good intentions.

mikeweb said...

The Gorilla 'locks up' stage win #2 in St. Quentin.

Anonymous said...

Locked up in San Quentin. Ha, Ha...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Eggs

Anonymous said...

CommieC July 4 @359 PM --

de Moivre must have pre-dated Euler, since his theorem is a trivial consequence of the Euler identity.

I'm off to seal up my helment vents now.

Babe Winklemen said...

Yesterday. TdF stage 4. Cav crashed. A little Breton girl placed a white towel at the exact spot where Cav's face and planet earth met. Amazingly when the towel was lifted a perfect full color image of Cav's face appeared on the towel.

Cav miracle towel $1,000,000

If he should win TdF $4,000,000

If he should gold medal in Londondinium $8,000,000

cipo said...

Sagan is a big pussy ...

He can only do one podium slut and then he needs a nap

Anonymous said...

I guess the anti-helmet crowd are anxious to explain to Cav why helmets are useless, because being raked down the pavement is hard on helmets but doesn't bother flesh and bone.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

CommieCanuck said...

Occupy© Snob day three.

We are dangerously low on weed, after this bag, and the other bag, there's only one bag left, and it may be an excrement bag.

Observation and question: has anyone ever seen Thomas Voekler and Robin Williams in the same room?

Thomas Voekler

Robin Williams

Voekler and Lance Armstrong

CommieCanuck said...

Velonews keeps referring to more that two guys from the media in onbe place as a "scrum".

Lance Armstrong showed up yesterday for the epic scrumshot.

mikeweb said...

CC,

That first shot of Voeckler is definitely from back in his neo-pro days on the Skittles-Orson squad.

CommieCanuck said...

..oh.. apparently Wilier "beefed up" Petacchi's bike for Le Tour.

I think it may have, in fact, been too beefy.

CommieCanuck said...

TOOB EEFY

Anonymous Coward said...

@Nebraska - chapeau on the "poetic construct" thought.

Anonymous said...

Lance and Robin Williams are actually tight buddies, and for all the drugs and so on, Williams is actually a pretty dedicated cycling enthusiast.

CommieCanuck said...

Lance and Robin Williams are actually tight buddies, and for all the drugs and so on, Williams is actually a pretty dedicated cycling enthusiast.

Really? Who cares?

I'm sure they go to alanon meetings together.

NANU NANU

CommieCanuck said...

That first shot of Voeckler is definitely from back in his neo-pro days on the Skittles-Orson squad.

From the good ole days when everything was better with cocaine.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Fucking Rob Ford cares, that's who!

ce said...

Anon 4:39, Anti Mandatory Helmet Laws ≠ Anti Helmet

McFly said...

I am 39 today. I am kind of a big deal.

Spooky Truth said...

Anonymous 9:45 said...

Only assholes are mean to cats. Cruelty is just not funny.

Only assholes grasp neither humor nor quantum theory.

mewble mewble mewble said...

you gotta put a rock in the sack...

Anonymous said...

197

Anonymous said...

2nd century lead out...

Anonymous said...

look out for greipel!

Douchellus Maximus said...

CC

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