Friday, June 29, 2012

BSNYC Friday FUn CKwiz!

Firstingly:

This blog will be closed next week.



Actually, it won't technically be closed, since you're free to enter and wander about wherever you'd like.  It's just that I won't be updating it, nor will anybody be around to clean the bathrooms.  If you're wondering why I'll be gone, the detailed answer is because I have to do some stuff.  However, once I've did that stuff I'll be back on Monday, July 9th with regular updates.

Secondingly, speaking of America's Favorite Family Fun Park, this coming week Americans will observe Independence Day.  If you're unfamiliar with this holiday, it's a magical time during which we take a break from shooting at each other with guns and instead focus on blowing ourselves up with fireworks:



Actually, the narrator of the above video sounds like he might be Canadian, but almost melting your face off with a Roman candle mounted to a department store bike is still very much in the July 4th spirit.

Thirdsly, tomorrow begins the annual touring of France known as the Tour de France, during which the fastest riders in the world who are not injured, suspended, or incarcerated will compete to win the fabled mayo jawn, which is the second-most coveted prize in cyclesport (the first being an exoneration in a doping investigation).  Amazingly, it's now gotten to the point that the favorites are last year's winner Cadel Evans and no year's winner Bradley Wiggins:


("Where the hell did I leave my sunglasses?")

The hopes of an entire nation rest on those sideburns, and it will be sad to watch those hopes slowly sink like a bunch of kittens adrift on a pond in a boat made from construction paper.  Of course, if he does win, I'll gladly travel to the UK and publicly eat my hat, but only because that's still vastly preferable to partaking in British cuisine.

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz, which you'll have a whole extra week to complete.  As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer.  If you're right then get excited and punch the cat, and if you're wrong you'll see the Shark bike.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and if you must light fireworks please refrain from pointing them directly at your face.  I look forward to seeing you again, faces intact, on Monday, July 9th.


--Wildcat Rock Machine








1) Amazingly, the cycling media continues to treat Levi Leipheimer like a serious contender in the Tour de France.

--True
--False







2) Trick Question: Though it briefly visits other nations, the Tour de France takes place almost entirely in which European country?

--France
--England
--Spain
--Germany








(Author Martin Amis, abjectly miserable in his brownstone prison.)

3) What is a "good spondee?"

--"Strong. Place. You can’t stress one or the other. Two big stresses.”
--A refreshing chilled beverage sold by 7-11
--British slang meaning "money well spent"
--Australian slang for exceptional fellatio









4) According to Edgar Allan Poe, baptism is a bad spondee.

--True
--False







5) Which of the following is not among the reasons to ride a bike as listed by the AAA?


--"It's a great form of exercise"
--"It's good for the environment"
--"It's fun to ride"
--"It's a good last resort for when your license is suspended or your car is in the shop."









6) "LumaHelm can also:"

--"...visualize heart rate to make other (road) users aware that the helmet wearer is a fragile human being and makes visible to others that the wearer invests physical effort."
--"...emit a series of chirping and whirring noises to alert (the wearer) to danger."
--"...stumulate dopamine receptors in the brain to make the wearer's ride more pleasurable."
--"...let the world know that the rider owns a vast collection of 'Star Wars' memorabilia and has never had a romantic relationship with another human being."







7) The film "Fixed Gear Addis Ababa" is about a rider who, after being forced to walk his fixie up a hill in Ethiopia, experiences the epiphany that he should just grow up and get a bike with derailleurs already.

--True
--False



***Special Trick Bonus Question***



(Eggs.)

Simply calling something a trick question is sufficient to make it a trick question.

--True
--Eggs


282 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 282 of 282
Sigmund Fried said...

I'm beginning to think that Sir Snob just dropped the blog so that he could spread irony throughout the land as is his wont?


Think that Snob is reCUMming reCUMbently atop a reCUMbent reCUMbabe ...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Was Schrodinger mean to cats?

bikesgonewild said...

...google accounts = dicking around one more time...

bikesgonewild said...

...mcfly...39 what ???...

Anonymous said...

Rhodium?

Anonymous said...

Rhodium!

ce said...

No animals were harmed in the making of this paradox in which animals were harmed.

ce said...

Schrodinger's List: "Power is when we have every justification to kill the cat, and we don't."

McFly said...

Years. I am 5 and 9/16" in dog years.

McFly said...

What happened to Case D'Porn? Did they fold? No invite? I need answers.

McFly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
McFly said...

So I click on Live Text Updates and this is the first posting I see:


And everybody else in the break goes, "Meh."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Only assholes think saying something about quantum theory can make cruelty funny. Schrodinger, btw, wasn't trying to be funny. Satirical, but not funny.

Anonymous Coward said...

@McFly - They left the adult entertainment business, went legit and became movie stars.

Anonymous said...

"ce said...
Anon 4:39, Anti Mandatory Helmet Laws ≠ Anti Helmet"

Right. It's your head, mate. It will look much better with a big scar where no hair will grow!

Anonymous said...

cat cruelty troll is hungry - nom nom nom. In other news, ccat feces linked to female suicide.

Anonymous Coward said...

@Anon 10:05 - exactly, it's his head, his choice, his responsibility. Wearing a helment, probably good idea, though that should be a factor of the risk of the situation/activity. Mandatory helmet laws , not so much.

Anonymous said...

Steve Tilford is really into pie. Incredible amounts of pie.

Anonymous said...

omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom

CommieCanuck said...

Occupy© Snob day four.

Four straight days of buzz and the dope-Oakleys are making this chic look awesome.

Today, Phil noted that he hoped the reverberations of the passing peloton would not crack the glass in an ancient French cathedral. That's it, we're moving this party to France, Phil is bogarting the good stuff.

The new Cannondale Evo is made of ballistic crabon developed for the military -just in time for the Tour De Iran. It's even stronger that those old shit aluminum frames some company used to sell, now being used to purify weapons grade uranium.

Ahhh... le Tour en Juillet..zee smell in zee air..flowers? no, zee smell of zee marketeeng bullsheet.

Today's climb is up the "Board of Hot Chicks". Look it up.

CommieCanuck said...

Abe Vigoda is still in his KOM polka dots.

CommieCanuck said...

cat feces linked to suicide

Outstanding science. Women who live alone in apartments with only a cat are suicidal because of the litterbox.

Throw the poop on the next balcony, that's what apartment living is all about.

What does this mean about my morning cup of Kopi Luwak?

Anonymous Coward said...

Kopi Luwak

That stuff is the shi...oh nevermind.

CC are you Bret? That climb is in tomorrow's stage for the rest of us.

WPVelo said...

look i changed my avatar, now my dog is in it. he's doing his road dog pose as we pedal the pickup.

WPVelo said...

He reminded me of Leroy's dog just recently as i got a new yoga video and when i got on the mat in the floor, he got down there with me.

then he giggled and said he was "doing the dog pose".

i think he reads over my shoulder.

WPVelo said...

Of course I wanted to tell him that he wasn't doing it exactly right, but i knew

it was a set up.

I might have been born at night but it wasn't last night surrounded by furry siblings and a wall of teats. no it wasn't. silly dog.

mikeweb said...

It was fun listening to Sherwin today explain the concept of 'DZ Nuts' to the 8 people watching the TdF on a flat day with 75 km still left who actually don't understand the concept of chamois cream, and why it's needed.

That guy is a hoot.

CommieCanuck said...

That stuff is the shi...oh nevermind.

It's _mostly_ coffee beans. It's ok, I use the 'ole Kopi to wash down that half bottle of Cymbalta I take every morning.
After that, I have no issues with listening to a man in France talk to me about smearing creme on his scrotanus.

SLCK NUTS

CommieCanuck said...

i think he reads over my shoulder.

Duh. Everyone know dogs can only read C++ code.

CommieCanuck said...

That climb is in tomorrow's stage for the rest of us.

I rock Campy Chorus 11 speed, the 11th cog is time.

mikeweb said...

I, for one, am looking forward to today's/ tomorrow's climb. I expect there will be many NSFW fan shots on the way up.

Perhaps it'll be a belated birthday gift for McFly. Even better than that Angela Lansbury viddy a while back.

CommieCanuck said...

I, for one, am looking forward to today's/ tomorrow's climb. I expect there will be many NSFW fan shots on the way up.

Well yeah, but they are usually of some guy in brown socks and a fluorescent Speedo named Serge.

Or, DIRK HOFMANN.

Serge said...

Zee Speedo is coming off for zee Planche des Belle Filles.

wishiwasmerckx said...

I regret to report that Dmitri Fofonov was caught up in that train wreck with 25 km to go and finished 13:24 behind the stage winner, thereby putting a serious dent in his hopes for a podium place in Paris. He is now, as Paul would say, in a spot of bother.

DIRK HOFMANN said...

DIRK HOFMANN T-Shirts!

wishiwasmerckx said...

Anon 9:53, the bestiality and necrophilia jokes are fine, but the cat cruelty crosses the line?

Ok, good to know.

CommieCanuck said...

All that argy-bargy will require Dimitri to dance on the pedals tomorrow. He'll have to ride like a man possessed and open up his suitcase of courage.

Eddy Merckx was a very good rider indeed.

CommieCanuck said...

BTW: I lost my suitcase of courage at the RDU airport, now I just carry my roller carry-on of malaise.

mikeweb said...

my roller carry-on of malaise

At least it's not a fanny pack of angst.

wishiwasmerckx said...

CC, yes, but will he turn himself inside-out from the effort?

Will he avoid the traffic furniture?

Will he veer off into the car park?

Will he take ENORMOUS risks on the descent?

CommieCanuck said...

I get Chuck Norris and Hulk Hogan...but is the guy in the middle Santa Claus?

CommieCanuck said...

Actual transcript:

Phil: Well, it’s a beautiful day here in France as the peleton is keeping this breakaway under control. Currently, the four riders in the escape have a 10-minute lead, and I think they have a very good chance of staying away, unless the pack catches them.

Paul: I agree Phil – However, I am concerned that if the peleton make up the time gap they will catch them, unless they don’t. Which would be absolutely unbelievable.

Phil: At any rate, this is a beautiful part of France – look at that scenery! Fields, mountains and rivers. Apparently, France is the only country in the world that has fields, mountains and rivers.

Paul: Unbelievable, the rivers around here.

Phil: And now the riders are proceeding through the lovely little town of Scenic Vista, a delightful village at the foot of the Mountains, with a river running through it.

Paul: Surrounded by…..

Phil: Fields.

Paul: Unbelievable. This was actually the little town where in 1743, Eddy Merckx actually rode his bike through the main street and out the other side without actually falling off. Should we tell our viewers who Eddy Merckx was?

Phil: I think it is important to continue to talk to our viewers as if they have zero knowledge of bikes and bike racing, so, boys and girls, Eddy Merckx was a very good rider indeed.

gladimnotmerckxcuznowhesanoldfatguy said...

You got it, dude! you catch on so quick!

"wishiwasmerckx said...
Anon 9:53, the bestiality and necrophilia jokes are fine, but the cat cruelty crosses the line?

Ok, good to know.

July 6, 2012 2:09 PM"

Anonymous said...

Does Peta Todd ever show her pussy?

gladimnotmerckxcuznowhesanoldfatguy said...

Oh, you non-helmet people are so tiresome. My head, my choice, blah blah blah--until you crash and bash your stupid brains. Then you're all Somebody-help-me-quick-Take-me-to-hospital. Let your precious choice take your concussed brains to the hospital--or better yet home to contemplate the results of your stupidity. Do what you want, but don't expect society to clean up after you.

Anonymous Coward said...

Ah I see. Cat cruelty troll and Mandatory Helment Law troll is the same person. Go figure. Nom nom nom.

bikesgonewild said...

...wow...a lotta guys paid a big price today but garmin & rabobank in particular took it in the fucking shorts...

...hated to see hesjedal lose so much time when he was working on a nice underdog gc status but that last shot of van summeren slowly but bravely pedaling in, jersey absolutely shredded, was too fucking sad...

bikesgonewild said...

...& is peter sagan just THAT good or is he spending, to paraphrase mikeweb paraphrasing a world famous yet deceased astronomer "...billions & billions..." of swiss francs on a top notch chemist ???...

...inquiring minds want to know...

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, as I mentioned, I was right on the finish line at Big Bear during the ATOC 2 years ago. Sagan won handily. At the finish, he was fresh as a daisy. He looked like he was just arriving back from a Sunday morning coffee run.

This was a climber's stage, and as the other finishers came in, they all looked like death warmed over.

I told my wife then and there that we would be hearing a lot more about the kid in a few years time.

I wonder if he can still climb, or if he has muscled up too much as a sprinter. I guess we'll find out right soon, no?

ce said...

Mandatory helmet laws for cats!

Cipo said...

Have I ever mentioned the fact that according to my historical statisical data French pussy, though exceedingly taught tastes of goat cheese, garlic and spoilt clams 100% of the time?

Who woulda thought it!?

Jeff Dahmer II said...

Speaking of necrophilia have I ever mentioned the occasion when I ate this vietnamese teen and then I cooked him in a crock pot and ate him.

Bonkerz said...

Anonymous 9:53 said...

Only assholes think saying something about quantum theory can make cruelty funny. Schrodinger, btw, wasn't trying to be funny. Satirical, but not funny.

Wow! Congrabulashums! You're the Edddy Merckxxx of my ballsack.

Juxtapose, right, juxtapose I never tried to be "funny". Juxtapose I simply employed HUMOR.

Further, juxtapose, you didn't even get it and wanted to stick up for cats and strike a blow against cruelty simultaneously on a comment section for an internet blog devoted to bikes, and snobbery.

THEN, let us postulate, that you googled "cat box quantum theory".

and then, THEN, you said "funny". "Funny" how? I'm "funny" to you?

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...i will always love & enjoy the sport of bike racing but having seen so many liars & cheaters over the years, i tend to look these gifted horses in the mouth...

...i take nothing for granted in this sport any more...

...to quote a wise voice on another site whilst this very topic was being discussed - "...my joy has been poisoned..."...

...that sez it all...

McFly said...

Off for a spin...where did I put my make-up bag full of excuses?

Anonymous said...

BGW @ 7:34 -- Well, I love the sport of professional bicycle racing, and I always enjoy watching the argy-bargy at the front end of the main field as they chase down the break, who are digging into their valises of valor ...

But since I'm not 12 years old any more, I don't think of these guys as heroes, and I don't particularly identify with them. So if one of 'em goes down on a drug charge later, it's "meh".

On an intellectual level, I wonder if doping really may have become the exception rather than the rule. I suspect that at the team level, directors may have finally understood that doping has the potential to dry up sponsorships and make the sport go away. At this point it looks like individual riders are doping on their own initiative, and those violations are getting less blatant. Remember Ricco and Piepoli a while back? They both had huge jumps in performance with sustained power numbers that were way too high -- and they got caught.

So signs point to it improving, though by how much, only the riders and their shadowy Italian doctors know.

It's still fun to watch.

Anonymous said...

McFly -- Love the "make-up bag full of excuses".

(cue Elvin Jones drum background)

" ... Excuse Su-preme ... Excuse Su-preme ... Excuse Su-preme ... "

Eurodude said...

it has nothing to do with cycling, but the photo is too damning..
Today is the begining of the Pamplona bull runs, here´s what can happen...:

http://www.sueddeutsche.de/reise/gefaehrliche-touristenattraktionen-sie-wollen-blut-sehen-1.1117872-8

Anonymous said...

Odgy-bodgy!

Anonymous said...

Panties!

wishiwasmerckx said...

So, a noticeably more muscular Sagan loses 12:01 on today's final climb. BGW, there would appear to be objective evidence to support your theory.

D. Douche'right RCMP said...

canadian bacon panties eh!

Anonymous said...

Dear Bicycling,

No thank you on the tour poetry.

Anonymous said...

You guys are stupid. If Saggin was on dope he would not be 12 minutes back.

Anonymous said...

If he wins spectacularly he is dopin and if he loses by 12 minutes he is dopin. Stupid.

bikesgonewild said...

...obviously sagan was saggin' today but guys, i'm not saying he is or he isn't doing something nefarious...

...my real point is that years of internecine doping struggles have jaded my view of what is a beautiful sport...

...i'll always love it, i'd love to be able to believe that it's clean some day but i'm not fool enough to believe that day has come...

...it's not black & white & no big switch has been thrown so that we can say - "okay, it's all good now..." so while i can appreciate what i see, i'll always have 'wonder'...

...it's human nature, especially in rivalries, to try & get a leg up on the competition, whether that's through better preparation or sometimes unethically through cheating...

...it's been said before (& proven), that the dopers are always 3 steps ahead of the dope testers...

...just sayin'...

...just wonderin'...

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Still hotter'n a dog chasing a paper cat through hell here back east.

Bob California Roll said...

Not to worry. Sagan inherited the intergalactic time-travel gene from his dad Carl. His dad was an alien you know? One of them.

Babe Winklemen said...

I have for sale ...

The holes from Cav's 2012 bike racing helment. They are sorta yellowish.

$99.99 at finer bike shops across the planet.

Anonymous said...

panties!

Skip 2f said...

Once again the cure to doping problems is just to legalize it.

Dope only gives you an unfair advantage over people who can't afford it (or the ones who don't want tits and do want working testes). Riders who aren't doping should refer to rule 5.

In other news. I'm still punching the box(cat?) but now it smells REALLY rank, has an attendant army of flies, and a helment!

Nothing fancy, just an old Nutcase with pictures of jelly beans on it that I bought cheap at the local co-op. I don't think box(cat?) really cares about graphics. Which leads me to this question: Should I tape up the vents? Does box(cat?) actually need to be more areo? I'm leaning towards "probably"

McFly said...

I need a healment with larger diameter Scalp Itch Access Portals. It's always where I can't reach. Oh wait I just don't wear it....genius.

Internets Tubes said...

Bradley's mom ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XndlrDygsc

Rocco 'The Big Hurt' Coglione said...

Professional hit on Sanchez (2008 Olympic Road Race Champion) or what? Had to be an Italian jobber. To smooth for English or even French criminal element. Dislocated shoulder and borken collar bone. OUt for the duration. Nice to see professionals at work.

Couple of more accidents like this and an Enlander might actually win the 2012 Olympic Road Race.

Cecil B. DeDouche' said...

In case you missed it ...

Today @ TdF was let the French guy win day.

Seems to happen once or twice a year ...

There's no business like show business like no business I knows.

Anonymous said...

le coq sportif?

Translate: the sporty cock

They must be selling used chamois, either way I don't want to think about it.

Feel Licket said...

After a week off the commenting sprinters are looking for a good result on a relatively flat course. There is a .000000001% uphill grade so the punchy guys like BGW, CC, WIWM and Kenny will have a strong go.

Anonymous said...

WAITING, WAITING, WAITING.

cycle

JB said...

Typically early doors after a vacation. WTF?

Anonymous said...

Secondingly.

Anonymous said...

Do let us know when and where in the UK you'll be eating your hat. I'd like to come and watch.

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