Of course, there are those who will probably say that building a velodrome also benefits "the youth," but as far as I'm concerned encouraging kids to race bikes is even worse. If you've ever renewed a USA Cycling racing license, you know they always ask you to donate to the USA Cycling Development Foundation. However, to actually do so would be incredibly irresponsible, for nothing could be more destructive to America's youth than a life of Fred-dom. Really, you're better off just buying these kids a bag of weed. At least that way they might actually get interested in something. On the other hand, the best-case scenario for an American bike racer is living out of your car, doping for crits, and carping about how your town doesn't have an adequate velodrome.
Then again, as cycling becomes more popular there is more financial opportunity as far as racing is concerned, and thanks to all the sponsorship we're almost at the point where "alleycat racing" is becoming a viable career. Yes, alleycats have gone mainstream--so mainsteam in fact that they're being covered by in-flight magazines, as I just learned via the Twitter:
They even quote daredevil IT specialist Lucas Brunelle:
("Delta Sky Magazine" is synonymous with "Street Cred.")
"Pick a [rider] and follow him" indeed--that would appear to be the template for the entire "urban cycling" lifestyle.
Speaking of Twitter discoveries, another Tweeterer also alerted me to this:
Mid-1980s Eddy Merckx Road Bike - $2000 (Severna Park)
Date: 2012-03-17, 2:47PM EDT
Reply to: [deleted]
Mid-1980s Eddy Merckx 61 cm. Reynolds 753 frame.
Green and White main tubes, silver forks and stays.
Raised black lettering, gold outline.
Campagnolo Record Components- 3 years old new condition.
DT Swiss R1.1 Rims, Black Rims, Spokes, Hubs.
Ritchey carbon-bar and stem
No pedals, front derller has broken screw.
Bought frame 4 years ago w/ original campy BB and headset.
Frame has 5-6 paint chips
FRAME HUNG IN SWISS BIKESHOP FOR 20+ YEARS
2000 $ OBO CONTACT 443-857-[deleted]
Complete with a photograph of a disembodied body presiding over a rather perplexing cockpit:
As far as I'm concerned this photograph fully qualifies as art, and in spirit and composition it evokes Grant Wood's iconic "American Gothic:"
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and always pick a rider and follow him blindly.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) This bicycle is made from a "vintage" Erector Set.
(George Hincapie kidnapped by Freds)
2) As part of your $240 entry fee for the Gran Fondo New York, you will receive:
--A pre-ride blessing from Archbishop of New York Timothy Dolan
--A bottle of King Cobra from Riccardo Riccò's own vineyards
--20% off your post-ride meal at the Olive Garden
(Typical Italian "Gran Fondo" taking a post-ride stroll.)
3) The term "Gran Fondo" is actually Italian for "Big Fred."
(Steamy late-night chat session takes a fateful turn.)
4) Whose missile is he going to ride?
5) How much for these leather cycling shorts?
--This is a trick question, nobody would possibly sell leather cycling shorts
("First Winter:" A facial hair-raising story of survival.)
6) The film "First Winter," about a group of Brooklyn hilpsters forced to survive in the wilderness, has garnered controversy because:
--The filmmakers illegally downloaded much of the score
--The filmmakers killed a deer without first obtaining a permit
--The filmmakers shot the film entirely on location at Bard College without first obtaining a permit
7) This is my Saab.
***Special Old-Timey Bonus Question***
"Back in the day," who won an impromptu "Cat 6" race between a cyclist and Oliver W., the famous trotting ostrich?
--It was a tie
--Neither, they were both beaten by a monkey on roller skates
(via "Serial Retrogrouch")