BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Like most cyclists, I am a dork. And like most dorky Americans, in addition to bicycles I also have a soft spot for British humor. (I was one of those people who would describe Monty Python skits in detail as you grinned politely and backed away slowly.) For this reason, I was very pleased to discover via the Twitter a new British humorist by the name of Andrew Grimes, whose recent "Why the bicycle has no place on our city roads" is as fine a piece of absurdist comedy as any I've encountered:

This column is a tidy little English garden of Dumbassery, and I can only assume that the newspaper in which it appeared needed a sudden infusion of website visits an therefore put their best "troll" on the job.

Meanwhile, moving from comedy (unintentional or otherwise) to drama (unintentionally comedic or otherwise), and from Britain to British Columbia, I recently came across the trailer for an upcoming series called "To Catch A Bike Thief:"

In it, some enterprising vigilantes employ GPS-enabled bicycles to track down bike thieves. I don't know what they actually do with the thieves when they catch them, but this is Canada, so I'm assuming they then administer a severe scolding. (This is colloquially known as a "Canadian beatdown.") And even though the show has yet to premiere, there's already a dumbed-down American version, which you can view here in its entirety:



Amazingly, they managed not to run down any pedestrians or cyclists while in pursuit, though to all appearances they did their best. Ah, America: Where countless vehicular wrongs inside of a one-minute period apparently do make a right.

And with that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll be pleased, and if you're wrong you'll see the next hipster bike.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and watch out for reckless "duders" chasing bike thieves.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

1) Which came first, the Ghost Bike or the ghost bike?

--The Ghost Bike

--The ghost bike

(36ers are like sooo 2010.)

2) The hot new mountain bike wheel size is apparently:

--29-inch

--650b

--700c

--π

3) This pendulous product is called the:

--The "Low Hanger"

--The "Saddle Yabby"
--The "Safe One"
--The "Saddle Nad"

4) What is this?

--A folding Darth Vader mask

--A folding helmet

--A folding saddle

--The revolutionary new pocket-sized nano-Brompton complete bicycle

5) Sure, why not? $7,500 for:

--Miniature bikes

--Glow-in-the-dark wheels

--Pedals that speak your cadence

--An all-crabon 14-speed solar electric road bike groupset

(The scene in downtown Portland on the night of the confiscation.)

6) In a momentous occasion for freedom and democracy, which beloved Portland institution was recently returned to its rightful owner after being confiscated by police?

--The SpinMyWheels DJ Bike

--The CrankMyChain Disco Trike

--The SuqMyBallz Hip Hop Unicycle

--The CombMyBeard Recumbent Bicycle Lending Library and Mobile Book Club

7) This book contains:

--English words

--Steamy tales of erotica

--Some sort of homemade cigarette

--All of the above

***Special Medical-Themed Bonus Question***

(Diner perusing the menu at "X-Ray's," a popular chain of medical-themed restaurants.)

Doctor's orders! No more:

--"Fixie bikes"
--"Upright bikes"

--"Unicycle bikes"

--"Visits to Coxsackie"