Friday, February 10, 2012

BSNYC Friday Friday Friday!

Yesterday I mentioned Tullio Campagnolo, noted Japanese inventor, businessman and founder of Shimano Bicycle Component and Fishing Pole Spinny-Thing Manufacturing Concern:

(Tullio Campagnolo is nonplussed by the above sentence.)

Well, relatively few people know that he also had a long-lost twin brother who played Fred Mertz on the old "I Love Lucy" program:

(When talking about an old TV show you have to call it a "program" and pronounce it "PRO-grum.")

What makes us who we are? Is it nature or nurture? Well, I say it's a little bit of both, and Tullio and Fred are a perfect example of this. Born from the same womb yet raised a world apart, both men wore pants up to their nipples and put their hands on their hips when nonplussed (nature). However, Tullio used suspenders to hoist his pants, whereas Fred opted for the belt (nurture).

Anyway, Tullio and Fred were finally reunited later in life, and the constant bickering that ensued ultimately became the inspiration for Neil Simon's "The Sunshine Boys."

Speaking of component groups, when considering which shifty parts to put on your bicycle, chances are you only think of Shimano, Campagnolo, and SRAM. Maybe--maybe--you think of "microSHIFT" or one of the various re-branded variants. However, as you may have seen elsewhere over the past few months, there's now a new player in the moving-your-chain game. They come from Portland, and their name is Retroshift:

Quickshift from Retroshift on Vimeo.

What, you may ask, is the point of a system that basically just moves bar end shifters onto your brake levers? Well, these are the ideal retrogrouchy shifter for the 99%. I don't mean 99% in the #Occupy sense; rather, I mean it in the "percentage of people who never put their hands in the drops" sense. See, with the advent of integrated shifting everyone started riding on their brake hoods all the time, so handlebars got lower, but now people are interested in old-timey shifters again because they live in Portland, ride in the mud, and have beards. However, they can't reach their drops anymore because STI bar height has become the norm, so along comes this piece of retro-kludgery to solve the problem.

Also, you won't bang your knees on them, so I suppose there's that.

Then again, I shouldn't be critical, since the people using it seem to like it, I'm lousy at cyclocross no matter what shifters I'm using, and I'm not a qualified product tester--even though Knog seems to think I am:

I pressed and pressed and pressed the sample but nothing happened, and so after awhile I just took them out of the box and stared at them:


These are Knog's new "Blinder" lights, and once I charge them I'll let you know if they live up to their name. I'm not sure how I'll do that, but at the moment I'm thinking I'll just test them on small animals. And before you get all PETA on me, just relax, because I plan to put the animals in sunglasses:

(Bugsy the BSNYC product-testing rabbit always gets the holeshot.)

By the way, Bugsy rode all of last cyclocross season on Retroshift, and you can look forward to a detailed review just as soon as he learns how to read and write.

With that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see someone who loves his bike.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and stay shifty.


--Wildcat Rock Machine



1) A Spanish professor is protesting the Alberto Contador verdict by:




(Dr. Eddy Merckx: picking up where Jonas Salk left off.)

2) Eddy Merckx is a doctor.

--True
--False





(Tullio Campagnolo and Federico Bahamontes)

3) Tullio Campagnolo invented the:

--Quick release skewer
--Presta valve
--Steam engine




(Behold! The Fred of the Future!)

4) The Next Big Thing in road bike technology is going to be:






(I know what an IRO is, but what's an 'illin' pose?' And where are all these 15-speeders?)

I’d always thought single-speeds were an illin’ pose, but the IRO was nimble and ridiculously light. Standing on the pedals, I climbed past 15-speeders in my only gear. It was like having a skinnier, younger girlfriend.

5) The above quote appeared in:

--Yet another "New York Times" article about the waning fixie trend
--A recent "Outside" magazine article on stolen bikes
--The "Rivendell Reader"





6) The animal embroidered on this patch is:






(Spockopus.)

7) Fill in the blank: "I wanted to get a sleeve tattoo that incorporated _______________."




***Special Automotive-Themed Bonus Question***


(By 2013 the screen and the steering wheel will have switched places.)

The advent of "connected cars" means:


95 comments:

GhostOfTyrone said...

Hello

Anonymous said...

fuck you all!!!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

no comment

Buy-cycle said...

Podium? +1

Anonymous said...

Odium!

Paul Bowen said...

Top 10!

Paul Bowen said...

Top 10!

Big Charlie said...

freshies, bro

luciferyellow said...

schluff, schluff

Anonymous said...

Toop teeeeen

Anonymous said...

Panties!

W C Frawley said...

Up yours!

Anonymous said...

Panties, damn it!

4fuxake said...

Toppp Twennny!


scranipplenus.

mikeweb said...

That Spockopus tat is classic.

Also don't forget that Fred Mertz was in Vaudeville (pronounced VAUD-uh-ville).

Anonymous said...

Top twenty.
Finally!
Oh and a merry tugnut to y'all.

Tullio said...

A 15 speed is 2 gears in the front, and 7.5 in the back.

pebes said...

LUCY! I'M HOME!

P. Bateman said...

top 18!!!

also, while working in front of the TV/Netflix i've made the mistake of watching To Live and Ride in LA. I"m now looking furiously for something to light my head on fire.

Anonymous said...

All Of The Above!

Preach it Snob. Righteously.

Top XX?

Not likely.

Anonymous said...

"Nonplussed" returns.

Where ya been, weird assed word? We missed you.

Anonymous said...

My truck has been tweeting for years.
It's a Dodge Veg-O-Matic.
Coupla weeks ago it totally tweeted right in the middle of an intersection.
I had to have it towed home.

Billy said...

Coulda been top 10 but I was entranced by the wrong answer video. Only missed one, but I actually liked the Italian (?) bicycle rap video. It probably helped that I couldn't understand the rhymes.

Anonymous said...

On coming drivers
blinded by the Blinders

Can't see can't see
How am I to tweet?

Opposing bikers loss of sight
Wobble feebly in the night

Shades needed nocturnally
Tilford begat this in '33

DerZoots said...

I read the whole post got caugth up in I love my bike for two whle go arounds got lost on the retro shift site for a bit and still in the top 25?

Nice.

ZOOTS.

Anonymous said...

I heard fred mertz had a huge cock? or maybe that was ethel?

DerZoots said...

Glad I missed two questions though.
Really feeling the boardwalk cycle crew session. Tight.

Anonymous said...

I think you are unfairly maligning that bicycle frame. From an engineering perspective the circle is the most round of all shapes.

misster-PISSTA said...

How does Vito get along with the Rabbit?

Anonymous said...

An illin' pose?

Kneeling on the bathroom floor and driving the porcelain bus.

Spocktothulu's quite good.

hey nonny mouse

le Correcteur said...

Top thirty; and I read it and kinda took the quiz. A good week for me.

theEel said...

weEKeNd.

le Correcteur said...

Nipped at the line by Anonymous, 1:53pm! And for 30th place! Ouch!

samh said...

Hey, Scranus, I got 100% on the quiz.

CommieCanuck said...

C'mon Snob, you forgot to mention my patented auto dashboard cheese fondue pot and centre-console deep fryer. Both bluetooth-controlled, whatever the fuck that is.

Anonymous said...

Tullio and Fred appear to work for the same outfit that this guy does.

CommieCanuck said...

Few people know that Fred Mertz was a genius who developed radar technology in WW2 and radio technology we still use to this day in cell phones.
oh, shit...wrong,..that was Hedy Lamarr.

Mertz was played by Bill Frawley...On March 3, 1966, Frawley collapsed of a heart attack while walking down Hollywood Boulevard after seeing a movie, Inside Daisy Clover. He was dragged to the nearby Knickerbocker Hotel, where he had previously lived for many years, by his male nurse — a constant companion since his prostate cancer operation more than a year before. He was then rushed to the nearby Hollywood Receiving Hospital on Wilcox Ave, where he was pronounced dead.

Tulio Campagnolo made his fortune in 1954 with the "Mamma Mia", an 11 -speed sex toy.

Marcel Da Chump said...

You forgot about Coolio Campagnolo, the rapping great grandson.

Tulio C said...

Sure, make fun of my nipple-high trousers fashion, but at least I'm not these douches.

The douche was invented by Howard Hughes, originally designed to clear out oil wells.

CommieCanuck said...

"Inside Daisy Clover" was not a porn movie.I checked.

yogisurf said...

Bugsey

crosspalms said...

I wish I'd been wearing Bugsy's glasses when I clicked on Commie's link. Now I'll have nightmares about Bluetooth.

bikesgonewild said...

...you're telling me i'm finishing over 3 hours behind the podium people ???...

...well call me the poster boy for 'nonplussed'...

McFly said...

Nobody likes a high bunny.

mikeweb said...

CC, I'm curious to know how you dealt with the problem of windshield (windscreen for you UK-ers) fogging when using the ADCFP wBT?

I'm also assuming that rear-facing infant car seats are highly recommended when using the CCDF wBT. Manufacturers wouldn't want to have to pay damages on too many cases of deep fried newborns...

grog said...

I asked for a sprocket.
I got Spock.
Nuts.

DerZoots said...

I think this may illustrate the problem with a super good Thursday post. Low Friday quiz numbers. People are all topped off on funny.
Not even room for a waffer of humour.

There is always Saturday though.

bikesgonewild said...

..."And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
To call Alice, when she was just small..."
...

...maybe this helps you, maybe it doesn't but i'm just sayin'...

petrus said...

I shift back into non-plussed where I reside by cranking the skewer out of my left rear right hydrolic brakenut. You should be jealous. These bad boys won't hit market till 2017. Booyah.

The King of Park Slope said...

Spocktopus?

I missed that episode.

humourless said...

Bicycles, zombies and comics sounds like a petty good mix.

Anonymous said...

When I was a kid Fred Mertz looked to be a million years old. Now I look kinda like him.

Headly LaMarrr said...

mmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm

sploirtt!!!!

gulp!!!!

Sorry. My mouth was full.

McFly said...

Tullio is nonplussed simply because there is a pie plate on that wheel. Immediately after that shot he removes it and flings into the Italian countryside on his commute home(it takes awhile when you are pulling a component vending trailer) where it lies for 27 years until a young Mario Cipolinni finds it and IMMEDIATELY places it around his hard-on and starts convincing young Cicilian lasses in his village that it is indeed a shake weight. The End.

Anonymous said...

BEEF EATR

We are all Alberto

JDH said...

@BGW-yeah, that helped. 55th? Somebody threw a 'bow.

bubba said...

Vulcan Cthulhu FTW!

CommieCanuck said...

Well Mike...the trick was to get a $500M DOE loan, then have the car run off the fat from the deep fryer.
Eco, green, etc. I only installed the Bluetooth option to get featured on Engadget and Gizmodo, which I believe are sex toy sites.
This is no toy, I can deep fry that cute bunny or a human head in 40 seconds, then dip right into the cheese fondue.

SWIS FOOD

Anonymous said...

Getting ready to fire up the Pussy Wagon to get some Pho.

Anonymous said...

The Budnitz has just launched an Etsy account.

ce said...

Commie, they featured one of your other automotive designs on tech/whatever blog BoingBoing today.

ce said...

You just have to adapt. I've incorporated a tablet computer into my cockpit with an app that issues an alert if a distracted driver is on a collision course with me. An added benefit is that I can write dumb comments here while I'm riding. In turn, the GPS in my tablet computer alerts pedestrians via their heads up displays if I am about to collide with them.

Alfonzo Cocksuck said...

Eat shit you nonplussed motherfuckers.

Alfonzo Cocksuck said...

Were Fred and Ricky fuck-buddies?

Anonymous said...

OMG @BGW
If you borrow the Pussy Wagon put some gas in the tank numb nuts!!

leroy said...

I've got Bugsy's cyclocross report right here:

http://online.wsj.com/video/battle-of-the-bouncing-bunnies/6347466D-4E58-4880-B6E2-C95573B37AD7.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_mpvidcar_1

Ride like le lapin agile all!

(Sorry about the cut and paste in browser link.)

leroy said...

And one other thing...

Remember what the doormouse said.

Tulio Redux, nonplussed edition said...

22 speed is the new 15 speed - 3 in the front, 7 in the back, plus STOP.

Jasper said...

Leroy, is that a doormouse with high visibility stripes, or did you mean a dormouse?

bikesgonewild said...

...ce...commie canuk's deep fryer/fondue pot dashboard 'app'...nice...

...your boy in zurich with his wood burning stove car 'app'...ya, okay...

...but hey, kids hungry in the car ???...give 'em a sandwich...they're fucking kids...

...price of joules, kilowatt-hours or kilocalories kicked out by a volvo in the snow ???...no biggy...

...but WHAT'S the one thing everybody's gotta do soon as you hit the road ???...

...yup, pee...so i mounted a porcelain toilet bowl (it's a crane - i like quality) where the passenger seat would reside & family vacations just got a little easier...

...& hey, the sunroof allows you to sit in comfort without banging your head...

...now THAT is an 'app'...

McFly said...

@BGW, Is there a holding tank or is it "direct drive"?

bikesgonewild said...

...mcfly...either/or...

...'application' depends on how polite you wanna be...

Monymous said...

Ah, just like those old European trains where you peed into the toilet and it went straight down the hole and onto the tracks.

leroy said...

Jasper --

I meant "Remember what the doored mouse said. Ow, my head. Ow, my head."

The industry's failure to design mice sized helments is well documented.

As is my poor spelling.

McFly said...

I thought in Europe, pre-bidet, everyone pee'd into holes in the floor EVRYWHERE.

Anonymous said...

I'm making a progrum about wearing panties up to my nipples.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who has shifters anywhere besides the downtube is a communist. Or a terrorist. Or a European. Or is from Portland. Pick the one you think is worst. If you have bar-end shifters AND disc brakes, you have to pick the TWO you think are worst. If the brakes are hydraulic, you get the three-for-one discount. Unless you have a beard or ride a recumbent. Then all is forgiven, because you're clearly insane.

bikesgonewild said...

...speaking of european's peeing into holes, what's become of our unflappable frenchman, ant1 ???...

rural 14 said...

ant 2nd!

yes, I agree...where is ant 1? I've refrained from adding ant 2nd for too long.

Also you're thinking of Milton Berle's member. Not that I know from personal experience.

Xhibit said...

Yo dawg, we saw the size of yo ass so we put a deep fryer in yo car dawg, so yo can deep fry yo dawg, dawg.

CommieCanuck said...

That large mass of yellow hot furnace in moving car only makes total sense. Wish I'd thought of that instead of my passenger-side pork BBQ pit.

McFly said...

Well I'll be, my lil hunny bunny just walked in the house and said, "I rented HOODWINKED II for us to watch!", lucky me. I don't remember Hoodwinked 1 but I hope it has a happy ending.

bikesgonewild said...

...i prefer a good titmouse over a dormouse any day...

'Velo' Ann Landers said...

Does one have to severly flunk an IQ test in order to purchase a Surly Big Dummy? Re'TAD'ed in BossTown


Dear Re,

Purchasing any Surly product automatically renders one mentally hopeless and adrift in a sea of putrid Wall Street smarminess. Douched by your own sea smugness is no way to go through life Re.

If I were you I'd off me own self. Just Say'in

Captain Kirk said...

i fucked Spocktopussy.

Alfonzo Cocksuck said...

BGW and commiecanuck. Fuck-buddies?

bikesgonewild said...

...wow...thank goodness certain new posters (posers ???) show such a wealth of intelligence & depth of humor...

...kinda obvious bike snob nyc was in dire need of such sophisticated input...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to correct you Wildcat, but, even though he may not remember himself, Eddy Merckx is actually a doctor:
http://translate.google.be/translate?sl=nl&tl=en&js=n&prev=_t&hl=nl&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sporza.be%2Fcm%2Fsporza%2Fwielrennen%2F1.1032060&act=url

Anonymous said...

Snobby is late. Could someone please send vito to get him out of the bathroom?

cycle

Vito The Helper Monkey said...

How poor are they that have not patience!
What wound did ever heal but by degrees?
Thou know'st we work by wit, and not by witchcraft;
And wit depends on dilatory time.

DerZoots said...

Where is the new FUCKEN POST!!!!!!!!
Iam fucken kill you!!!!!!!!

bikesgonewild said...

...ya, sure, vito...i heard he just got his sack caught in his 'uncle tullio' suspenders when he was getting dressed...

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john said...

Why are industrial Japanese corporations called "manufacturing concerns"