Monday, January 30th, 2012
(That's planet Earth years, by the way. I'm finally off the Venusian calendar since I kept showing up 140.3 Earth days early for appointments.)
The reason I'd like you to make note of this date is because it's the date I'll be resuming regular updates of this blog. In the meantime, I will not be posting. However, I can assure you I will not be idle during that time. I mean, I won't be working, inasmuch as it would be silly to call whatever it is that I do "work," but I will still be doing the same non-work I usually do. See, like Comicus, I like to think of myself as a "stand-up philosopher"--or if you prefer, a "bullshit artist:"
The fact of the matter is that I will be "bullshitting" every day next week. However, that bullshit will not be posted immediately to this blog but will instead be made available for perusal at some later date. I apologize for this inconvenience (unless of course you hate this blog, in which case you're welcome), but such is the life of a bullshit artist, and it will all be worth it in the end. Or not. Either way, I look forward to returning on Monday, January 30th with regular updates.
The fact of the matter is that I will be "bullshitting" every day next week. However, that bullshit will not be posted immediately to this blog but will instead be made available for perusal at some later date. I apologize for this inconvenience (unless of course you hate this blog, in which case you're welcome), but such is the life of a bullshit artist, and it will all be worth it in the end. Or not. Either way, I look forward to returning on Monday, January 30th with regular updates.
Moving on, yesterday I mentioned some self-important Portlanders (yes, I realize how redundant that phrase is) who took their self-importance and lack of useful practical knowledge to the poor uncool people of the south, and similarly a reader has forwarded me this video of some people who live in Brooklyn (I hesitate to call them "Brooklynites") who were kind enough to present the backward folk of Virginia with the sleep-inducing gift of minimalist percussion:
Their group is called "Mantra Percussion:"
Though the really should think about changing it to "Men Without Girlfriends:"
Here's their leader, embittered former professional cyclist Floyd Landis:
Here's their leader, embittered former professional cyclist Floyd Landis:
And here's what people look like while listening to them:
("I'd request 'Freebird' ironically but I'm far too nonplussed.")
As for the music itself, to call the piece a "composition" seems grossly unfair. Really, even the word "music" is a stretch. This is more the kind of thing you're likely to hear played on a loop when you go to a MFA exhibit and one of the installations is a multimedia experience based on the artist's inability to reconcile that time the cat ate their hamster, or the morning they walked in on their parents having sex, or some other middle-class suburban childhood trauma.
Also, if you're wondering why they went from Brooklyn all the way to a Lowe's in Virginia instead of just performing at the Brooklyn Lowe's, I suspect it's either because it's probably too hard to get a gig at the Brooklyn Lowe's now (I hear they have a talent booker), or else it was Sukkot and there was a run on two-by-fours.
Meanwhile, a reader tells me those Budnitz bikes continue to get attention:
Let's fire up the BSNYC Enlarge-A-Nator for a closer look at that caption:
Firstly, it's not a "break lever," unless it's designed so that the moment you pull it the bike falls apart. (Actually, I wouldn't put such a feature past this Budnitz character). Secondly, it's not his name, it's the name he just happens to share with the company that made the lever. Then again, I'm starting to see how easy it is to dupe the dimwitted design community, so maybe Budnitz should just change his name to Paul Chris King Gates Schwalbe-Lynskey so he can take credit for the entire thing. I mean, they're already giving him credit for the concept of an attractive bike:
Let's fire up the BSNYC Enlarge-A-Nator for a closer look at that caption:
Firstly, it's not a "break lever," unless it's designed so that the moment you pull it the bike falls apart. (Actually, I wouldn't put such a feature past this Budnitz character). Secondly, it's not his name, it's the name he just happens to share with the company that made the lever. Then again, I'm starting to see how easy it is to dupe the dimwitted design community, so maybe Budnitz should just change his name to Paul Chris King Gates Schwalbe-Lynskey so he can take credit for the entire thing. I mean, they're already giving him credit for the concept of an attractive bike:
The progressions in bicycle design have been limited to high-end manufacturers creating ever more lightweight (and often ugly) machines designed for road racing, rather than reflecting the aesthetic concerns of the owner. In America especially, the great period of beautifully designed utility bicycles all but died after Peter ‘Bullit’ Yates’ 1979 bikecentric coming of age movie Breaking Away, after which everyone, it seemed, wanted a race bike and manufacturers responded accordingly.
Towards the tail end of last year that balance shifted however, when serial entrepreneur Paul Budnitz entered the market.
This would come as news to the roughly 90,000 bike builders in Portland alone who have been doing this for years.
The article also makes some astute technical observations:
...a carbon belt drive chain negates the need for lubricant, keeping clothes clean and chain on the bike - not wrapped around your ankles.
I'm not sure what that means, but if your pants keep winding up around your ankles when you ride then you are grossly misinterpreting what it means to "lube your chain:"
And Budnitz himself also adds his own contribution to the canon of great frame material myths:
...a carbon belt drive chain negates the need for lubricant, keeping clothes clean and chain on the bike - not wrapped around your ankles.
I'm not sure what that means, but if your pants keep winding up around your ankles when you ride then you are grossly misinterpreting what it means to "lube your chain:"
(Stopping for some mid-ride "drivetrain maintenance.")
And Budnitz himself also adds his own contribution to the canon of great frame material myths:
"Also, as well as being lighter, titanium is harder than steel and it’s a great material for riding on so there’s a sense of completeness."
If Budnitz was experiencing a sense of incompleteness prior to obtaining a titanium bicycle then he may have been riding a bike without a seat.
Penultimately, in entertainment news, from another reader comes this gripping film trailer:
I AM NOT A HIPSTER (the movie) from Destin Daniel Cretton on Vimeo.
Sure you're not.And ultimately, from still yet another reader comes a music video which I found entertaining:
I recommend he seek out a titanium bicycle for a sense of completeness.
I recommend he seek out a titanium bicycle for a sense of completeness.
Post-ultimately, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the question, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll experience a sense of completeness, and if you're wrong you'll see a commercial for a high-performance mountaining bicycle.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to returning on the 30th.
--Wildcat Rock Machine
1) What are they staring at?
(They may dress funny, but you can't put one over on the British.)
2) Amazingly, it turns out it's actually possible to enjoy riding two different types of bicycles.
--True
--False
(The visor is the yarmulke of the douchebag set.)
3) Which is not a tenet of the "Holstee Manifesto?"
--"Getting lost will help you find yourself."
--"If you don't like your job, quit."
--"Live your dream and share your passion."
--"If life doesn't give you what you want, stomp your feet a lot and cry."
5) In which of the following ways were the Portland hipster migrant workers mistreated by their cruel organic farming overlords?
6) "Bi-keen" and beekeeping, together at last! Must be:
--Portland
--Brooklyn
--Portland
--Chicago
"You were in the bulk aisle. Tall, red-head, absolutely gorgeous, dinosaur son in the cart. I was bearded and soggy from the bike ride, just needed some oranges and some almonds. You said, "Now let's pick out some snacks for... me." You hesitated on that part, like you were going to say mommy, but caught yourself. It was cute. Seriously, I feel sorry for your kid. His friends are all going to crush on you hard. Hell, I'm going to crush on you hard."
7) In Portland, cycling can apparently cause you to grow a beard.
--True
--False
240 comments:
1 – 200 of 240 Newer› Newest»podium
podium
pebes you cant finish 2nd and 3rd
Top dix.
ooh la la
I am not proud to be an inhabitant of the great Commonwealth of Virginia right now.
And I think I'll be avoiding all Lowe's stores from here on out...
domestique
weed!
Top ten!!!
Angry Beaver Scranus!
get rad!
Have a nice break Snob.
I'll be recovering from knee surgery on the 27th. I'd appreciate it if you could get back to "work" then.
Thanks.
spotted a bumpersticker today on a certain spicy bavarian suv:
"WHO IS YOUR FARMER?"
Peleton. Where's my shit bike?
Organic Scranus.
My new movie will be "Braking Away." If Leroy's dog wants to make "Barking Away," I'll tell my lawyers to stand down.
Re: bonus question
Isn't it actually safer to ride with no front wheel than with a Spinergy front wheel?
Brake fest is the most important squeal of the day
I was eating cat food burritos before they were cool.
Dammit! I just got back and now you're leaving? We need to better align our calendars.
See you in a week.
Interesting more makes this should we.
Top 25? Have a good holiday snob, be sure to moisturise your scranus.
Expensive bikes are the norm
the silly ones inspire scorn
Paul Budnitz bikes inspire shame
Doesn't stop him from making a name
He knows he lacks useful skills
his products are now social ills
In America we reward such failures
evidenced by Will Smith's trailer
First time on the podium! I let it be for the top 10 though, while I read and watched all the videos.
Pacific Blue is is totally sweet. Haven't seen that before. Now I want to watch some whole episodes. Hah.
7/8 on the quiz. Can't believe the beekeeper is in Chicago. I should have noticed Portland was listed twice.
"mid-ride drivetrain maintenance" - Gold! I totally LOLed.
read? I didnt even wait for the pictures to load...
of the back? or mid pack
It was moist out there today. Now I need to go lube my chain.
Was Hans Rey in that film "The Room"?
"Oh hi Steve, I am so glad you are my friend."
I know this is the sort of thing you've been railing against since your blogs inception, but the line about how everybody wanted a race bike after the 1979 film "Breaking Away" is especially galling.
I recall the 70's as the era of the Myata and the Peugeot. Hell, where I live there was already a cyclocros scene in the late 70's.
That writer is an ignorant turd.
100% on the quiz. No cheating either!
See you in week Snobbie.
At :49 the gentleman who claims not to be a hipster appears to be striking a golf ball.
Dear God, please don't let golf be the next ironic hipster pursuit.
@ Anonymous 12:34 PM
Appropriate responses to that bumper sticker include "WHO'S YOUR SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANT OPERATOR?" or "WHO'S YOUR OIL REFINER?" or "WHO'S YOUR SUBWAY(R) SANDWICH ARTIST?"
The 30th?...stomping feet and crying a lot...
"Stopping for some mid-ride "drivetrain maintenance.")"
I like to refer to this as "THE NATURE BEAT."
Or, if you prefer for tatts:
NATR BEAT
balls (*OG)
Re: Guardian article. Hilarious. I don't understand this kind of self-imposed cognitive dissonance. It's like that line from the Ghost World comic where one of the girls says she wouldn't want an old car because then you have to maintain this whole period-correct image, with a certain hairstyle and clothes. Or like my old roommate who would go on 5 mile jogs in Chuck Taylors and eventually tore up his knees.
The comments section of the Phaidon article looks to see some carnage. And atypically un-anonymous at that.
Belt drive chain. What's that all about, then?
Make your mind up, ya fud.
hey nonny mouse
Yeah, Snobbie, I know you're young, but the whole racing bike thing was big from the early 1970s, well before Braking Away came out. That particular Bike Boom was long over before the movie came out.
I don't know why Budnutz is going on about the hardness of titanium vs. steel. Strength might matter, or corrosion resistance, but hardness is about as relevant as melting point to the cyclist.
Sadly, the douchey catalogue (<--douchey spelling of "catalog") doesn't seem to have a comments section.
I'm reminded of the "paté" in the movie "Mr Ibrahim". It was cat food too.
Not only do we have douchebags like Shane Warne, we also have repeat sex offenders ramming female cyclists with the intent of abducting them only being charged with negligent driving.
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/being-like-this-is-awful-i-just-want-to-die-20120120-1qaec.html
Thankfully in this case, the police sided with the cyclist.
repeat sex offenders ramming female cyclists
I saw a movie like that once. It was consensual though. This guy should be hung by his scranus until dead.
Had to keep skipping through the Lowe's video, but that employee checking her phone at the end summed it up for me.
Deprived scranus. TEN days Snobby??? Should we click thru the ads a few extra times?
Hey man its the weekend.
Double up on the pussy tacos.
Panties!
"Be careful mister flashy pants!"
Damn, gonna miss the regular updates.
This blog and the Daily Show is where I get all my news.
Favorite quote from the Mantra vid "as percussionists we would beat on stuff as young children". I bet.
JB, i saw that movie too.
Snobby, I always cheat on the quizzes. OK if we just have an open relationship? Cool.
FUNK WIZZ
BABE LESS
@sweatpants;
those are good. I had only just started to want to be alive when I saw the krautfarmersdottirlover, midway through my first mug of coffee. had I the wits i would have simply mashed the back of the thing up with what i was driving, and then asked these things, along with
WHO IS YOUR INSURANCE CARRIER?
WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE BODYSHOP?
WHO IS YOUR FARMER?
the last one would no doubt lead to an interesting conversation, as knowing who grows ones WEDS WEED is vital.
Perfect score!
Oh, and that dude in the vid may not be a hipster, but he is wearing the uniform.
Somehow going from Breaking Away road bike envy to Budnitz fever seems to be overlooking the mountain bike decades...
@ The King of Park Slope:
Golf as the next hipster pursuit, wonderful, it will be like herding them into reservations and out of our hair...and they can fret about fashion choices even more than they do now.
@misster-PISSTA said...
read? I didnt even wait for the pictures to load...
of the back? or mid pack
You didn't wait for the comments to load either, did you?
Those cat food burritos don't taste like much but on the other hand my hairball problem has totally cleared up.
Damn, if it wasn't for super sick mountain biking videos, I'd go crazy during the winter. They make me feel slightly undergunned sometimes though. Almost like I need to upgrade to front disk breaks, dual shock units, and full SPD gearing. 21 speeds must be sick!
"NOT THE FUCKING EAGLES MANNNNNNNN!, I FUCKING HATE THE EAGLES!"
huffy was still making bikes in ohio in the 80's.not race bikes.
FREE BIRD
Yeah it's old school, but SPD gearing was pretty rad back in the day. Just like Dual-Control or Rapid-Rise, it did take a little getting used to. If I remember correctly, it would mis-shift if it wasn't adjusted just right. A little turn of the 2 mil would bring ya right back, smooth as silk.
Cat food burritos? Sorry, I didn't read yesterdays post.
Tommy,
GO fucken' read yesterdays post.
You will like it.
Funny it was.
That is all.
I'm watching Mary Tyler Moore.
She's hot.
Is that Phaidon dipshit calling my Ridley ugly? Eff that hipster shit!
Shawty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots with the fur (with the fur)
The whole club was looking at her
She hit the flo' (she hit the flo')
Next thing you know
Shawty's at Lowes, Lowes, Lowes, Lowes, Lowes, Lowes, Lowes, Lowes.
Ride warm all! (Because the temperature's going to get ... oh never mind.)
Ahhhh, Hercules. Another grand old name yanked from its grave, dressed up in clown clothes and paraded around for our amusement.
And isn't it really an off roadeo.
And I wonder if Grant Petersen knows the Specialized lawyers. Looks to be an easy buck to made there, and from what I can tell by his writings of late he needs it.
Damn you, bees!
Dear fellow Snob addicts,
Contemplating the hiatus, I've assembled a list of points to remember to help us make it to the next fix:
1. Hipsters are douches.
2. Minimalists are douches.
3. People who run over cyclists are douches.
4. Douches are douches.
5. People who ride all winter are douches.
6. People who never ride in the winter are douches.
7. People who think the world is going to end in 2012 are douches.
People who don't know it's 2012 are douches.
8. People who confuse 2x4s with musical instruments are douches.
9. People who don't know what sukkot is are douches.
10. People who make lists of who's a douche are douches.
11. Politicians are douches.
12. Cops are douches.
13. SUV drivers are douches.
14. Fixie hillbombers are douches.
15. I can't think of anyone else to put on the list, but they're probably douches, too.
http://sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=53299
Titanium is not harder, or stronger than steel.
Budnitz doesnt know shit.
Titanium is from old russian submarines?
@ Mr King of Park Slope. Hipsters playing golf is not only likely, it is effen' inevitable, given the social class they spring from. The golf bags will come out at the same time as their beer bellies begin to appear. Coincidence? I think not!
Nameless copy-paster on Phaidon site hasn't changed 'break' to brake after 24+ hours.
"Cleanup in aisle douche!!"
@Doug - hipsters with beer bellies... sigh, I guess it is inevitable, but really the only thing that is marginally tolerable about hipsters is their skinny-enough-to-snap-in-two waifishness (and that's just the boys, of course).
Hey Virginia!
Watch me beat my wood!
beating wood
we're beating wood
look at us!
we're beating wood!
we'll beat wood
better than a woodpecker could
beating wood
we're beating wood
look at us!
we're beating wood!
we'll answer for good
how the woodchuck could chuck wood
beating wood
we're beating wood
look at us!
we're beating wood!
we're going to play Songs From the Wood
to put you in that Jethro Tull mood
beating wood
we're beating wood
look at us!
we're beating wood!
isn't it good?
Norwegian wood
Budnitz doesn't need to know about materials or sex.
When you are the master, you just master shit.
Pay attention youth...titanium was number one and two (also used in soviet rockets).
Next we will have a guy like Jed from the Beverly Hillbillies wittle rims out of hickory.
Finally we will commission artists to custom design your ass pad. (that was really first)
So this is the Bundwitz objective and it is totally normal for me to be speaking in third person.
@ David
16. People who ride crabons are douches. (I know, I´m one, though only since last week)
Ahhh, sunday evening, time for doobie. And only 24 hours till the next Snob post.
Whoops, wait a minute... oh fuck it, I´ll just have another spliff
They're playing my song.
Why must I watch them beat wood?
I believe there has been too much "grammatical humour" lately. Grammatical humour is to comedy what a discussion of head tube angles is to biking. Lame-o! Maybe this is funnier to you and your high minded literary cohorts?
Lol Hipsters lol!
I
Banged a gal and she was horizontally good
Then my brother found out she was vertical good
She mikvmhgt be so good both ways and some other ways.
Is if me or Yuri thAt is the right man?!
Who said you need a mountain to do some nice DH?
http://vimeo.com/6575663
Hey buddy
When the Budnitz talks about wood it is curvy and interesting in a Lolo Ferrari kind of way....big wooood.
You wittlers should take a seat and see what the real Budnitz is carving.
WTF
Has Budnitz turned into the Big Lebowski?
We designed a nose cone similar to the shiv.
It is called the Budnitz Dick Crown Pussy Shiver.
**Anal Shiver will be releasing later this year.
Keep it looking fresh
Kid Robot? You must be kidding.
In other news, there was no gas in the car.
No-dium!
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sby/bik/2801584522.html
The Budnitz has finally designed the first Brooks 'Giggly-Gel' saddle cover.
Limited edition.
The Budnitz wants to make your conch happy!
And I will also be releasing custom bar pads.
Check the web for details.
Please stop Budnitz!
We all watched Fasttimes at Ridgemont High.
Done hamburger bun!
Kid Charlemagne,
Did you realize,
you were Italian
in their eyes?
So now the Bunditz wonders if some one told some one about my radical idea for checkered bike pads?
It is not wise to mess with the Bunditz!
I thought that Kid Robot guy should have kept on the fixies. That was pretty dope shit. And it also represented people that were going for it and throwing down in the city. I would spend a pretty Pennie on a ltd ed pie plate or a wicked ass disc wheel.
Come back bro we are here for you!
In a moment of clarity on the shitter, the Bunditz came up with a new design for valve caps.
DICE
Not real dice, but rather little fuzzy dice.
This is a Bunditz Breakthrough. (trademarked)
What is with all this crazy talk?
Who is the Budnitz?
Where did BSNYC go?
Crystal 8 ball is pure magic!!!
Vegan tacos it is.
Steely Dan from Yokohama, I do not understand the references...
100th!
Sucks having to actually do work at work instead of foffing off on this site all the livelong day, doesn't it?
The Tool Time Band played better music with 2x4s then those DBs
Anon 5:00,
they're lyrics from an aforementioned song/commenter name. You figure it out.
Pretzel Logic
Why are you asking about my dick size?
A whole week of Budnitz jokes until snob gets back.
Sounds like an acceptable substitute. The comments section is half the fun anyway.
Well at most 49%. Never half now that I think of it. Amazing consistency this BSNYC does possess.
There are doo'rs in the world and a bunch of woosies that don't do shit.
Which side you on son?
If you are getting a tattoo of a salmon near your loin I will kick your ass around the block backwards.
Budnitz hard a really hard moment of thought.
Similar to lighting farts.
Anyone do that?
So it was a big idea and then puummph.
Sorry
The Bunditz will let you know where the gas has gone.
Why is Paul Budnitz bombing this sitte? Wack asss?
The Budnitz will make you feel good about feeding your children cream of corn.
The Budnitz will let you say uncle only when he is around.
The Budnitz looks for the strong and preys on the weak.
The Budnitz has no fury until it is whipped up into a fantastic malt shake.
The Budnitz is blind to manmembers that just exited the hot tub.
The Budnitz has telopathetic insight.
The Bunditz delivers big time.
The Bunditz farts and all the ladies in the house say 'retarded'.
Holy shit! Is the Budnitz Rodney Dangerfield reborn?
Is this the real guy?
I am thinking not, however it sounds the same.
It's a faker jack. You can tell when the post it up.
The Budnitz might cut down some wood in your woods with diamond blades and people wearing sweet masks.
The Budnitz dick is dead to lame ideas.
The Budnitz needs air and will come up with a plan to suck it out of your lungs.
The Budnitz was never called a Pudwacker you shit ass bitch.
Anon 5:24,
because you have that number which
Ricky lost--
you might use it--if you feel better,
when you get home.
This all seems kind of nutty. What do you guys do to train And get faster?
It is pertinant that you know how to wittle wood prior to shooting hoops and banging ho's.
The word by Budnitz.
The Budnitz would feel better if you make it a pussy pie with sparklers and whipped titty macaroon.
These people are morons!!?
Bring on the races!!!
This is really not a big deal. I had three older brothers N I would beat them hard.
It is embarrassing for a man to cry to mommy with a cooter choke out.
The Holstee manifesto has unspoken tenet:
poultry sacrifice. You must bite off the head
of a chicken and drink the blood simple.
This is not a great place to hook up!!!'n thanks janice!
cock women who suck love
The smashmanfasfic thing about the Bunditz is the proprietary Glory Hole.
No lube
When Kira comes over and Budnitz steps over, you stick it on in.
beat your morning wood
Kid Robot sex toys don't work
Succatash sufferers,
Budnitz is working on a cure.
Budnitz budnitz budnitz
saved the cycle consumer
one adult vinyl action figure at a time.
Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Budnitz.
Scranus
I just lost all respect for Hans Rey, that was simply awful.
Where do I sign up for the Budnitz Buttmunch Camp?
Are undies optional?
Long live BBC!
I was a victim of the Kid Robot madness and I thought I would get the golden ticket like Charlie in willy wonka and I don't believe there were any golden tickets made and if there were would I end up in china in a small swear house with dirt floors and grandma sleeping next to me an my fifty cousins searching for some bones that he dogs dragged in to make a broth to cure the cough I have from melting the vinyl that make the money to spin the trick wheels on the bling machine that is hidden in a Boulder garage and is taken out for special occasion like the pope mobile with more chrome because chrome is king unless you have a lot of gold.
That run on sentence says it all aboot Budnitz.
Looks like it's the rest of the week taking one line cheap shots at budnitz.
butnidz:
You smell like cabbage soup the olde people kind!
And I spelled your name wrong.
"Hey Blond!! You know what you are?!?!"
come on, budnitz, defend yourself...man-up...or are you too busy with your toys?
Silence!!! You cacophonous lot of rabble!
I search the world for the best of ideas and items and make them my own. I slay thee with my eye, my taste, my sense of self. For I am the great procurer and you, you are inferior consumers all! For that you will pay, oh will you pay!
The correct answer to the Cavendish question is:
I’m at the airport. No I don’t have 3 heads. It’s called an ego. Yes, it’s big. I have an entire country in it. Stop staring at it please.
The Budnitz will bring the fury in the form of a snowcone flavored with coconut and pineapple.
The Budnitz has the answers to all of your silly questions...raised donut with sky blue frosting and rainbow sprinkles.
The Budnitz needs to get back to working on his breakthrough paper airplane book.
Peace out bitches!
I just "got rad" with wednesday weed.
Teh Awesomez.
thanks man ,,,
Hey I just fell off a limited edition turnip truck. Anyone know where I can get a Budnitz burlap sack?
151 BACARDI
Whatz the shizz?
I have a couple of tickets to the Kings of Leon in Toronto that are now avaiable.
Thunderdome@msn.com
only a matter of time before...
Budnitz Beer!
it´s now wednesday here, and I have no weed :-(
I'm calling BULLSHIT on the new specialized Crux ad running on Cyclingnews.
Just because Stybar is the world champ does NOT mean you get rainbow stripes to sell that crummy piece of low BB long wheelbase garbage that masquerades as a cyclocross bicycle because, get this, Stybar won the World Cyclocross Championship on a fucken' RIDLEY.
You can dress up his bike in rainbow stripes but you didn't buy his championship ride.
Specialized.
Can't trust em'.
The Budnitz has designed the first ever 'beaver fur fuzzy dice valve caps'. These are exclusive to the one and two.
The Budnitz is working like a beaver on a ground breaking fanny pack water containment and delivery system. Looking into the name 'Slurpee'. Does 7-11 still own it?
...suck a dick, budniche...
no-dium!
Hey guys,
You are really hurting my feelings. I though different size wheels would get me acceptance. The fixie kids liked my other bikes. Why are you adults so hard to please.
I'm going back to slave labor vinyl dolls for boys with everything.
Sorry Snob, but your review of the musical performance lacks the usual insightful scathingness you normally bring to examples of what you consider to be cultural excess or self-aggrandizing mediocrity. You're taking aim at a very sincere and hard-working culture of post-classical concert musicians and composers who have struggled to keep some semblance of their craft alive and relevant for the past 40 years.
You may not like minimalist music, fine. But I think it's really disingenuous characterize these composers or performers bullshitting slackers just because they have a passing resemblance to the superficial cultural faddists I know we all despise.
You know why they're playing in Virginia? Probably for the same reasons you have to travel all over the country to sell your book. It's called touring, AKA "going to where people will pay you a pittance to do the thing that you love." It's not glamorous (even if NPR is filming you) and it's not easy, especially not for musicians and composers.
That's all. I just want to keep you from becoming a pithy phillistine when you're normally an insightful satirist.
I love when the comments section complains to WCRM.
SO over your head defender of the arts.
a wood beater is a wood beater
whether classically trained
or just plain insane
whether ironic
or moronic
I love all three of mine. They're all classic red, black, and white as well. Eff Specialized!
I think I just read a post from the loneliest whistling orchestra...someone cue the spaghetti western Wha Whaa Wha.
@John Michael Swartz:
+1, although I don't blame the Snob for not getting it. I think it's a safe bet that Mantra Percussion has gotten more scathing and immediate reviews, so there's no point getting on a high horse.
My instructor, Comicus, was a firm believer in wood treatments. "A good shellac makes for smoother strokes", he always said. But he also liked to say, "it's good to be the King". I never understood that one.
Steve Reich, Philip Glass: They got their musical chops beatin' wood.
Donald Fagen is a self-professed JazzSnob which ergo makes him a fool to do yo dirtywork, oh yeah, he don't want to do yo dirtywork, oh no.
John Michael Schwartz, BSNYC as a Philistine? Sir, I have always considered him more of a Hittite, or perhaps a Midianite, Edomite or Amelekite or maybe even Chaldean, but never a Philistine.
Poopy Doodles.
100% inorganic poopy doodles.
Fagen can't buy a thrill (just like Dylan)
he's left reelin'in the years
John Wesley Harding hooked him
the Love Unlimited Orchestra
blew woodwind instruments
Mantra Percussion beat 2 x 4's
Sorry Snob, but your review of the performance masturbation lacks the usual masturbatory insight you normally bring to examples of what you consider to be cultural excess masturbation or self-aggrandizing mediocrity masturbation. You're taking aim at very sincere and hard-working masturbators of post-classical masturbation and masturbators who have struggled to keep some semblance of their craft alive and relevant for the past 40 years.
You may not like minimalist masturbation, fine. But I think it's really disingenuous characterize these masturbators or performers bullshitting slackers just because they have a passing resemblance to the superficial cultural masturbation I know we all despise.
You know why they're masturbating in Virginia? Probably for the same reasons you have to masturbate all over the country to sell your book. It's called masturbating, AKA "going to where people will pay you a pittance to do the thing that you love." It's not glamorous (even if NPR is filming you) and it's not easy, especially not for masturbators.
That's all. I just want to keep you from becoming a pithy phillistine masturbator when you're normally an insightful satirist masturbator.
Come on guys Kid Robot is rad!
They make some cool shit and good ideas.
Don't be ashamed that you bought a piece of plastic art.
It is accessible and exciting for the youth.
Live Thrive and Jive Kid Robot
All hail masturbation!
Anon 1:58
Who is Virginia? Can I get her number?
Wholey crap dude!
I thought youbknew how this all works.
The kids is the pussy shit that wines and makes there way.
The momma puts the man down.
The man drInks several beer and smokes a dooby under the bridge.
Real yea all!
Cheese E
Best part of waking up is Folgers in my cup until I read about masterbating.
Bringing masturbatory insight....
Keeping the craft alive?
Superfiscial cultural masturbation?
What's up home boy?
Rad-organic.
STFU
Feels like the longest week ever and it's still only Thursday.
no-dium!
Some importants issues have to be raised:
- with or without gloves?
- do you change hand on wednesday?
- do you do "handstanding"?
- what would be the pie-plate of masturbation?
- is there minimalistic masturbation?
- how do you behave in a peloton situation?
- is drafting a problem?
Good etiquette: drafting is a non-issue down-wind.
Minimalist masturbatory practices (otherwise known as MMPSL, minimalist masturbatory practices for a simple life) have given me a new found life.
Since adopting this life I have reduced the clutter in my head and in my house.
One cup.
One knife.
One fork.
One spoon.
One book of matches.
One stream to live near.
One hatchet.
One poster of Farrah Fawcett.
And one set of man clothes to walk in the world as a free man.
When I wittle my wood, I do it old school.
Slow and long.
I challenge you to do the same!
Good etiquette: drafting is a non-issue down-wind.
If you teach a man to fish...
Wednesday just wasn't the same without the rock machine's masturbatory insights, although you can always rely on the weed.
Sigh, it's been a long week.
that Portland volunteer farm couple...nice people...decent, well-meaning...and they make me angry...and, then, I just try to relax...let the negative energy burn itself out...no use...I need to light up...
If I wasn't fired and at home this week would have been the worst at work without the WCRM. Instead I got all fired up myself like it's five wednesdays in a row. So fired up I'm on friday already two hours early.
Amazing.
No stress and the wednesday weed and unemployment.
Tri-fecta.
This scooter is powerful and fast. It easily makes it up average hills. It will not climb steep hills but you can help it along by kicking.
קורקינט , אופניים חשמליים
Hi BikeSnob
I's done you a word cloud - http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/4739549/BikeSnobNYC
Thanks
Bob
Yeah nice word cloud.
The "I found a bike today" guy is creepy.
Who was Portland's first fixed-gear cyclist?
a] Bill Walton
b] Spot the circus dog
c] Paul Allen
d] Fred Armisen
January is almost gone and not a car cake in sight. Where did winter go?
Winter is waiting for April so it can jack your shit up real nice for a couple of weeks.
Oj shit
New page Second!
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