Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Must-Haves: 'Bents and Button-Shifting

Every so often, a reader raises a point in the comments that I feel warrants further discussion. After all, we are cyclists, and unlike users of other forms of transportation we are constantly looking inward in order to better understand ourselves. This is because, unlike, say, the bus passenger or the roller-skier, we know that the unexamined life is not worth living. Also, we're profoundly smug and self-absorbed, and we all operate under the delusion that what we're doing is special. There's a fine line between introspection and masturbation, and we cross it with every pedal stroke.

Anyway, the comment I felt warranted further discussion was this one:

Anonymous said...

why is the cycling community so resistant to recumbent frames? They’ve been around for almost 100 years now! Safer (you can put STRONG brakes on them w/o risking headers); faster (one won Paris-Brest-Paris in 1933, causing them to be outlawed for “bicycle” racing!); much more comfortable (no penis paralysis, neck strain, etc.). I’d love to have some of the innovations on this wish list added to my Easy Racers Gold Rush Replica, on which I’ve been putting thousands of miles a year on for some time now.

November 7, 2011 10:19 PM

First of all, I'd like to preface this by saying that I for one have nothing whatsoever against recumbents and that I embrace recumbent riders as I do all of my fellow cyclists. (And by "embrace" I mean I air-hug them and then retreat to the restroom where I sanitize myself compulsively with Purell hand sanitizer and Action Wipes.) Moreover, I feel strongly that people should ride in whatever orientation they so choose, be it horizontally, vertically, or in some kind of gravity-defying gyroscoping manner. Do I find recumbents frightening? Sure I do. Is it because as they approach it looks like the rider may kick me in the face? It is. Does this discrimination make me a bad cyclist? It does not--being really slow and falling down a lot is what makes me a bad cyclist. Being afraid of recumbents just makes me a bad person, and there's a difference.

What I do object to, though, is when recumbent riders (or indeed any type of riders) try to proselytize. I don't mean the "Try it, you may like it" kind; I mean the "How dare you fools not adopt my inherently superior machine?" kind.

For this reason, there is much to address in this comment, but I might as well start with the supposed issue of "penis paralysis." Of course, as we all know, the supposed "impotency epidemic" among upright cyclists is a massive conspiracy engineered by the automotive industry (in order to discourage bicycle commuting) and by the bicycle saddle industry (in order to sell so-called "anatomic" saddles with weird shapes and creepy cutouts). Sure, it's possible to set up your bike in such a way that it will cause "penis paralysis," but it's also possible to set up your office chair this way too, and I don't hear anybody saying that we should all be working in La-Z-Boys.

Most importantly, what about the great many cyclists who don't even have penises in the first place? That's right, mister recumbent apologist, I'm talking about people with vaginas--you know, those things that look like anatomical saddle cut-outs. What's the matter, women can't ride bikes? I would then put it to you that you are a sexist, or what at Bard they might call a "Euro-phallocentric womyn-hating genderizationalist." Now sit in the corner and stare at a Georgia O'Keefe painting until you've learned something.

As far as the thing about a recumbent winning Paris-Brest-Paris in 1933 and then being outlawed, this would appear to allude to "The Recumbent's Darkest Day," which is when recumbents were banned from UCI racing. I'm not sure why this applies, since if your goal is to ride the fastest form of two-wheel transit you might as well ride a motorcycle. Moreover, the upright bikes most of us ride to work aren't UCI legal either anyway. And as for being banned for their "superiority" for racing, then how come it's more than 70 years later and recumbent riders still haven't banded together and created a race more compelling and dramatic than the Tour de France? It wouldn't even be all that hard--with all the doping scandals and allegations of UCI corruption, professional cycling is pretty much just propped up on toothpicks at this point anyway. Mainstream approval and legitimacy is there for the taking, and griping about a ban this old is like having an oblong ball and, instead of playing football, just complaining that they won't let you play baseball with it.

But really, there's one simple reason for the cycling world's "resistance" (as the commenter calls it) to the recumbent, and it is perfectly expressed in this film about revered San Francisco messenger Dogpaw, which I have featured on this blog before and which is undoubtedly the greatest messenger-themed documentary of all time as well as a poignant homage to the upright bicycle:



You see, upright bicycles are much easier to carry up steps:

(Yes, that's an upright bicycle hidden in Dogpaw's hair.)

And that's pretty much it. See, simple? The upright position and lofty vantage point is just a bonus:

As is the conduciveness to giving and receiving "high fives:"

So let us all, recumbent, non-recumbent, and even people who ride both (these people are called "bi-cumbent") ride together in mutual respect for our chosen orientation, and even give each other high-fives as conditions warrant--though I suppose an upright rider technically has to "low-five" a recumbent rider.

Speaking of technology, did you know that Campagnolo are still in business? Well, they are. Not only that, but they've finally introduced their own electronic groupset:

(Isn't that cute? Electronic shifting, just like Shimano.)

The Campagnolo system is called "EPS," which stands for "Electronic Power Shift." It was originally called "Electronic Precision Power Shift," but they had to omit the second "P" for two reasons: 1) It wasn't very precise; and 2) they received a cease-and-desist letter from actor Omar Epps:

("Not on my Rolex watch, Campy.")

Of course, the big difference between Shimano and Campagnolo is in their "corporate culture." At Shimano they use "research and development," whereas at Campagnolo they use the "freak occurrence" method:

Perhaps the most revelatory: In 2005 the group was ready to be put into production but a freak occurrence stopped everything. Cars with team bikes were driving home from the Giro d'Italia and encountered a powerful rainstorm. The combination of the sheer volume of water and the 150kph speed the cars were traveling at was enough to drive water into the electronics. The systems quit. And even though the systems began working again a day or so later, Campy decided it needed to rework the sealing.

So basically, the only thing that kept Campagnolo from trying to sell this crap to you in 2005 was a rainstorm. Wow. You'd think they might have accounted for the fact that it might get wet beforehand. Sure, bikes never get wet, but did it not even occur to anybody at any point to give it a little spritz before rolling it out? This is not expensive testing we're talking about--all you need is a garden hose and an adjustable nozzle. We're talking like $40 bucks at the Home Depot, tops. And how bad were these seals that it took them another six years to make them work?

Still, it was only a matter of time, since as soon as people touch electronic shifting they simply must have it:

The market is still dominated by mechanical shifting, but people have heard of electronic shifting. They may have touched it, or one of their buddies has it. Maybe they know it took all three spots on the Tour de France podium this year.

Some people may find Tour de France results impressive, but not me. I mean, Schleck genitals took two of three spots on the Tour de France podium this year, and a lot of people may have touched that too, but it doesn't mean I want it on my bike:

(No, thanks.)

Of course, if you're a Campagnolo fan, you'll want to know that this group retains their trademark Italian "passion" and "soul," and inasmuch as both of these words are cycling euphemisms for "quirky" it certainly does. For instance, instead of just popping the battery out and putting it on a charger, you actually have to wheel the the whole bike to an outlet:

The battery is not removable from the bike: To charge the system, you must run a lead to the bicycle.

Brilliant. Now you'll either have to store your bike near an outlet or else run extension cords all over your house. But at least there's a snazzy "EPS Interface:"

A quick push of one of the mode buttons and the EPS Interface (which can be attached to the stem, or to the brake housing) indicates battery charge with a green/yellow/red system. When 6% charge remains, there is an additional acoustic warning.

Presumably, it's Campagnolo's answer to "Siri:"

("My pocket watch says it's time for a charge.")

The cease-and-desist letter for that feature is still pending.

139 comments:

Kenny Banya said...

meh

Anonymous said...

Boom !

Anonymous said...

Boom !

Anonymous said...

Boom!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Gone to ludicrous speed!

Hophead said...

WOO HOO!

Spokey said...

me again in for the ten

Anonymous said...

Recumbents are the harbingers of the apocalypse. I'm tellin' ya, people...watch out.

Anonymous said...

top 10!

PK said...

Durr.

Cortelyou Anquetil said...

Fuck Portland!

Points?

Anonymous said...

We should all be working in La-Z-Boys. Think about it.

TheTye said...

BRKN PNIS

Toucan Sam said...

Hmmmm...

Anonymous said...

Randy Schlecks.

mikeweb said...

Gold, Kenny, GOLD!

EPS? Just four letters from EPO. Just sayin'...

PatrickBateman said...

top 11!

PatrickBateman said...

top 18!

PatrickBateman said...

i like old campy. i think it's pretty much an indisputable fact that 80's campy is much, much, much better looking than shimaNO. it just is. and i'd say it works quite a bit better too.

Anonymous said...

it's not a Rolex

Buffalo Bill said...

That bicycling mag sure is well written. Anyone else confused by this?

"While shifting Di2 is akin to pressing a lever on a computer keyboard, EPS shifting is more like the switchgear on an expensive sports car."

I had to find the secret lever on my keyboard to post this message.

Charlie Didrickson said...

I look down on recumbents.

Anonymous said...

You can't remove the battery -- now THAT'S a seal.

grog said...

umbeleeble. all that talk about bents and no babe

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Right on all again Snob. Yep even I shared those smug, self riteous thoughts when I had my laid back epiphany.

In the end all that matters is that we ride on two wheels or maybe three like those wacky trike guys. As a recumbist one must simply enjoy the sense of individuality that the bent offers (and the view) and don't worry about changing the world. I know I don't I'm to busy balancing on that line your talking about.

No thanks on the electronic shifting. I'm holding out for the telepathy controlled version.

Anonymous said...

The thing about recumbent riders is that they always carry a full toolbox.

I was trailing on my Bianchi San Jose and flatted. Whoops, forgot to bring the 15 box end wrench. There was a "bent" rider at the trail head. After the fix I vowed never to make fun of recumbent riders again.

Unless they try to run me into the curb as punishment for not using lights an hour before sunset. Yes, that actually happened.

Turd Ferguson said...

Why are there no epic hill-bombing fixie recumbent videos?

Off to kickstarter...

Anonymous said...

Peta rides an upright bike, so I ride an upright bike.

ROLE MODL

Anonymous said...

Cross your t's with Socrates

RecumbentSnobNYC said...

We're bicycles too, but smugger, and more beardy per capita.

TheTye said...

BTW- It's tough to get a good draft behind a Recumbent's safety flag

Astroluc said...

Those of us who comment can affect the content? Who knew? So can we please address the issue of those of us who lock-up in the cities and the people who use their basket (or in my case, a milk-crate hose clamped to my rear rack) as garbage cans even though (again, in my case) the city has provided several garbage cans within easy reach of where I "park"?

...or am I the only one?

...Beuller?

crosspalms said...

I was riding to work this morning at 150 kph in a driving rain and whaddayaknow, my lights failed. Campy was right. So much for my inherently superior machine (which sounds like a band name).

I've got no problem with recumbents but I don't want to ride one -- I like the visibility of sitting upright (yes, in a Rivendell-approved high bar way). The rare times my butt gets numb from too much saddle time, I stand up on the pedals. I think that works for penis paralysis, too.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Recumbent riders: normal people want a bike that is cool. Your bike is not cool unless you can do a pop a wheelie. Ergo, recumbents are not cool.

Anonymous said...

75% of penis paralysis problem are mental. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!

Anonymous said...

STAGE FRIGHT

WSKY DICK

Grump said...

I'm a big fan of recumbents. They provide me with a neverending amount of amusement. I even suggest recumbent bikes to my fellow cyclists, as in..."You should grow a beard and get a recumbent.....you might be faster".
(I must be a "bad person")

PS. Is Campy electronic shifting available for recumbents??????

ant1 said...

great one today snobby.

Anonymous said...

A very popular bike trail goes by my friends front porch. One of my favorite things to do, is sit on the porch, drink, and yell "DO A POPPA WHEELIE!" at people riding by. It is especially funny to yell at tandems and recumbents. You get a funny response everytime. Either they pop to front wheel up the tiniest bit, GOOD EFFORT, lay down a siktor sitdown wheelie to the end of the block, or hang their head in shame. It's funny how many people try to ignore the "poppa wheelie" demand, but you can tell that it bothers them that they can't wheelie.

P.S. I have gotten numbers doing this.

Anonymous said...

if we can count on grog to complain about anything...


balls.

Buy-cycle said...

Top 40? Have Campagnolo never heard of plumber's putty. A quick trip to their local DIY store would have sorted it.

erik k said...

Bike snob very poignant critique of campy, I agree with your general view point that they are ridiculous. Also it's overpriced. That being said, I really do love my Campy 10 speed. I vastly prefer the thumb levers over any other shit system. When I've ridden Shimano I strongly disliked shifting with the brake lever. I've ridden Di2 as well, and it works great - excellent actually. No complaints but I wouldn't want it on my bike. As for Sram and double tap, I found that to be the most asinine shifting system I've ever experienced. Six clicks to shift three gears? that drove me nuts. Is there anyone ells out there that agrees with this?

I would love to see other manufactures adopt the thumb levers so I wound't have to pay for Campy parts.

Or maybe I'm just a elitist douche jackass

Anonymous said...

April Coughlin is hot!!

Anonymous said...

I have a Mavic 'leccy rear mech. kicking around somewhere; never had any of the control gear or batteries though, so never tried it out.

I don't really fancy hacking through traffic on a recumbent. I'll stick with the doggy upright fixed wheel, thanks.

hey nonny mouse

shmaltz herring said...

Thank you for putting a little Dogpaw in my day.

CommieCanuck said...

Penis paralysis? You're not doing it right. And if you are doing it right, at some point, there is a zombie-like paralysis.

I'm with Eric, Campy is not popular in the US any more, but in the rest of the world, they do just fine, and their cheapo shifters outperform SRAM and Shimano and can be part-replaced. They don't make crap, which is why the EPS has been testing in European racing for about 5 years now. You'll get me to switch when you pry that Ergolever from my cold dead hands, amici.

As for the Recumba-douche, those fucking things are heavy, too big to take anywhere and handle like Rosie O'Donell covered in Crisco.

CommieCanuck said...

con't...besides, when it comes to useless application of technology for no good reason, the wireless biek breaks have it won.

The world will be perfect when we can finally get a bike running the Android operating system.

Anonymous said...

Electronic shifting, recumbents, lazy-boys... all things I have no interest in and wouldn't pay money for. Does that make me a snob?

So, recumbents are fast? Is that why you pass so many of them going uphill, or is that b/c they're mostly older fat bearded guys?

(It seems I am a bad person)




balls.

sufferist said...

Mr. WRM said:
"Also, we're profoundly smug and self-absorbed, and we all operate under the delusion that what we're doing is special."

Nail on the head. Opened with a blitz and hits just kept on coming. Kudos.

You may want to start your Wed. 4:20 on Tues and coast a bit. Well done.

Anonymous said...

I call BS on the Campy's "freak occurrence." Automotive connectors and housings are IP67, which means you can submerse them for a short time or spray them with a hose.

Also - if you can drive 150kph, it is not raining that hard.

On the other hand - if some drunken soigneur drove the team Fiat into some flooded strata, passed out, then couldn't start the car in the morning... but I still wouldn't call it a freak occurrence.

montyp_MN

ervgopwr said...

I think my name gives away my shift preferances. Still not interested in electronic shifting though. Bikes are built for the alpacalypse remembember? they should work after an electromagneticpulse (EMP) disables everything else.

ERVG OPWR

Anonymous said...

Campy is like the horny walrus..looking for a "tight" seal.

Anonymous said...

I'll look at recumbents when:

(1) Someone riding one passes me, which has never happened.

(2) They make one out of carbon fiber.

Great post, Snob.

ervgopwr said...

oh, and on the subject of 'bents; superiority is the ability to bunny hop an obstacle in the road/trail, or a rut, or jump up on a curb to get where you're going.

CURB JUMP
BNTS CANT

Anonymous said...

Re a 'bent winning Paris Brest Paris in 1933, the event was not held in 1933. It was held in 1931 and not again until 1948. (I don't think a recumbent has ever won the event, but I might be wrong about that.)

www.paris-brest-paris.org

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Crabon Bent: http://www.bentupcycles.com/carbent-hpv-raven-zr.html

Marcel Da Chump said...

Nice shift into Socratic gear in that opening paragraph, WCRM.

Anonymous said...

funny, recumbent bikes have become so synonomous with geeks that in an episode of breaking bad they showed a shot of a car with a recumbent strapped to the roof to hint as who it belonged to, who was a massively geeky chemist. nothing wrong with being a geek or a bent rider (unless you're the buy on breaking bad, in which case you were killed on that same episode) it's just funny that the two apparently are so broadly recognized as being linked that they would be featured in a TV show. Also, if you never get laid it probably doesn't matter whether or not your penis works, particularly if you are a woman bent rider, oh wait, those don't exist.

Anonymous said...

Who is Georgia O'Keefe ?

Did she have big hooters ?

Anonymous said...

Who is Georgia O'Keefe ? I think she was a pearl miner.

Anonymous said...

Schwingfest!

CommieCanuck said...

Campy is like the horny walrus..looking for a "tight" seal.

A penguin drives into a gas station with his car smoking. He gives the car to the mechanic and goes across the road for some ice cream on this hot day. While eating the ice creams, it melts quickly and drips all over him, making a mess. He returns to the mechanic who says, "you blew a seal", to which the penguin responds, "nah, it's just ice cream".

Thank yew, in town until thursday, try the veal.

CommieCanuck said...

This trend of switching from a nice hard lever to a small button to rub just highlights the pussification of America.

Herman Cain said...

Where the women at?

Anonymous said...

I stare at my girlfriend's Georgia O'Keefe all the time.

Anonymous said...

RCT @ 2:14

Thanks for the link, in the eventuality that (1) ever occurs!

cyclotourist said...

ELEC TRIC

Moth Haven Velo said...

Oh, so ** THAT's ** why Cadel Fucking Evans was able to stay upright this year? Electonics!

I'm a Campy Dork having sold off my admittedly great Dura Ace 7700 but I ain't touching that nonsense even with two rubbers.

Also, though I rep Brooklyn to the fullest, Mike Epps >>> Omar Epps

Anonymous said...

more bike-tarded content:

http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/San-Marcos-man-barbecues-on-his-bicycle-2257513.php#photo-1718896

Mason said...

We should all be working in La-Z-Boys.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I wish Campagnolo North America or whomever would offer you an Athena group ("gruppo," hah) which I think smokes the Ultegra you're "rocking" on the Ritte... And if not 'smokes,' you'd be very hard pressed to choose on any but aesthetic and ergonomic grounds (shifters). The 11-speeds is neither/there except to note Shimano is jumping on the bandwagon next.

mikeweb said...

@ervgopwr,

Couldn't agree more. Unless after the EMP a half man half bicycle EPS powered cyborg is time warped back to 1972 to kill the father of The Shimano engineer who invented Di2. Then all bets are off.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

we should all be SLEEPING in lazy boys


(instead of n these stupid aeron chair knock-offs)

wishiwasmerckx said...

The recumbent guy is right, you know...I set up my Campy gruppo so that I shifted with my dick, which worked great until excessive mileage gave me penile paralysis. Then boy was I FUCKED!

bubba said...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27041895@N05/4950803697/in/photostream/

We prefer the term "velorizontal"

Anonymous said...

Thanks for "bi-cumbent". At last I have an identity! :)

Wish the guy on the upright who nearly rear-ended me at a stop sign this weekend had bunny-hopped over my 'bent. Would have been more interesting than the screech of brakes.

Sometimes the reason you pass a recumbent going uphill is that the 'bent rider is headed home from donating blood. I remember thinking to myself that I was giving recumbents a bad name, but the effort to not stop and take a nap used up all my willpower.

wishiwasmerckx said...

For those who have been around this sport for a while, this electronic shifting paradigm shift recalls the days of transition from friction shifting to index shifting in the late 80's.

Index shifting came to cycling from the triathlete community because in addition to not being able to mount, dismount, corner, hold a line, fix a flat or otherwise control or maintain their bikes in even a rudimentary way, they also could not master the "slightly past then pull back a hair" required to trim out a friction shifter.

How we roadies laughed at them before switching to index shifting ourselves. I think that electronic shifting is in all of our futures, and we old fussbuckets will prattle on and on about the old days when you had to be able to manually manipulate the shifting levers the appropriate number of clicks in order to change gears.

Resistant to change? Who? Us? Naah...

CommieCanuck said...

wwm..nah, I switched to indexed shifting in a heartbeat.Then to brifters. No brainer.

I also dumped my Christophe toe clips for clipless pedals ASAP. In retrospect, riding around North Toronto with cleats and leather toe straps, It's a wonder I'm alive.

EPS is just a way to get more doucheness than Super Record.

Anonymous said...

Georgia O'Keefe was a female surgeon from the turn of the century who pioneered labiaplasty sculpturing surgery, otherwise known as vaginal reuvenation. To say that you are looking at a Georgia O'Keefe means that you are staring at a woman's box.

Ben Levy said...

"bi-cumbent" Hahaha...
Just recently read all your posts on Bicycling.com covering the 2011 Tour de France(as well as the others listed). Thanks to you I understand the tour oh so much better. I hope you get the opportunity to do that again. I also have to get your book: "Systematically & Mercilessly Realigning the World of Cycling".
At the top of my list to my wife for "Must-Haves" this Christmas.

Anonymous said...

non-removable battery..must have been a collabo w/apple

KRON said...

We should all be working in Relaxzens.

Kenneth Buttercup said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Anon 3:41

You're confusing Georgia O'Keefe with Georgia O'Queef.

skink said...

I just examined my life
and it caused me to puke
my guts out.
Never felt better.
Thank you, Socrates Rock Machine.

jno62 said...

I'd have been here earlier but Herman Cain had his hand up my dress.

Anonymous said...

I'd have been here earlier but Herman Cain had his hand up my dress in a dream I had 14 years ago.

...fixed it for ya jno62

Quilled and Lugged said...

Well, they had to say they were driving 150kph because they are Italian...and I suspect the TdF podium reference goes back to the good old days when no-one had yet won the race riding Shimano. It took a certain American to break that duck, and then it's been all downhill from there. I still like mine, but then I'm European, and it's a lot cheaper over there

Texafornia said...

How do you go up and over a curb on a recumbent?

frilly said...

I wouldn't exactly say paralysis, but sure there's a certain amount of discomfort that occurs on long rides.

TGFB!

crosspalms said...

Over at Google, the search police are wondering why everyone's looking for TGFB definitions all of a sudden. And with no gratuitous Herman Cain reference. Oops, just made one.

Fred said...

I've not had issues with numbness on my 'bent, but sometimes I go through long periods where I lose my train of thought and just sort of drift off into ...

wishiwasmerckx said...

Frilly, Transforming Growth Factor Beta? I had no idea you were a cellular biologist!

Anonymous said...

This Autobus is comfy, bring me a drink bitch

Bill Smith said...

The upright cyclists defending Paris-Brest-Paris were attacked by the recumbent legions. The upright cyclists were proud and brave but they couldn't hold. They were massacred. French women stripped them of their jerseys and their shorts and helmets. The upright cyclists lay naked in the sun. Seventy eight years ago. I was here.

Anonymous said...

Can a recumbent climb hills??

Anonymous said...

Damn you Snob, I thought I was special. It's gonna be hard to mount up Thursday morning now!

situpnbeg said...

Seriously, we don't obsess about bus riding and roller skiis. Why all the babbling about 'bents? I don't want to read about it anymore. (Just because my wife won't let me grow a beard, that has nothing to do with it! Well, okay, it has a little, er a lot to do with it. Shut up. I hate you all. You bearded, horizontal freaks.)

Jerry Sandusky said...

I like to ride them in an upright position up against the shower wall.

bEthebike said...

If I have to plug in my bike it better pull me up hill.

Anonymous said...

So the implication is that you would like Cadel's genitals on your bike..?

Anonymous said...

Do a pop a wheelie!

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

I don't think I'm special. I just add up the pluses and minuses of driving a car to work versus riding or walking and come up with a different answer than all my co-workers. In other words, I'm stoopid.

Anonymous said...

I would start a Myn's Movement but then I'd have to hang out with a bunch of guys and that's just, well, gay.

myNuMo said...

As a recumbent rider I have to say ..

100% CORRECT.

No need to diss other cyclists.

So anyway, you might like a high-racer recumbent, like a Bacchetta, just saying.

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

I was really hoping for a pee pee joke. Or perhaps a "the second p is structural joke."

I thought Campy dumped electric in favour of 11speed?

dumber said...

Just when you thought it couldn't get any dumber.

http://youtu.be/zvPucDbmUPo

Anonymous said...

As a unicyclist (fixie w/o training wheel ) it erks when I ride by people and they say poppa wheelie..it was like when I was a messenger doing a track stand on my ron cooper 5 speed and DOGPAW would yell at me "grasshopper practice balance in motion not in stilness" he shut up a couple of years later when I rode a week on my unicycle.. I only wish the seat from my broken recumbent (a stelth- fast -ride it at night) onto my unicycle...
as much as I like Valentino..crampandgoslo really died with Tulio..until they come out with a 'lectric 3 speed disc brake uni hub.--they do have the coolest logo ever though-----.sent while walkin my pissta with the barmounted G4--
almost dfl today..but still in the tourdesnob

Arthur Jackson said...

Could we go back to talking about my sheds?

Anonymous said...

annon 835 again --
and yes the unicycle is very had to set up and ride along way w/o getting some distress down there... I have been thinking about curating a cockpit for said uni but the only thing I know when I get on it is that I will fall off at some point and the idea of cockpit interface while bailing kinda scares me.(it has flat pedals,the bent had clips and straps)..when people aSK how the long emma I ride steers I say Psychic powers..(it has a linkage)..

pissta edit out to rest for tommorows sprint..

Anonymous said...

Can't wheelie a bent? Poppycock!

http://tinyurl.com/cxjylya

Anonymous said...

anon 8:46 I think thats a SEMI recumbent
this is a real bent
http://m5ligfietsen.nl/uploads/Itemizer/1077.1.jpg

leroy said...

Well now this is odd.

I thought everyone knew that penile parlysis occurs among exhibitionists who expose themselves to Medusa.

Hence the term "scared straight."

leroy said...

Speaking of penile paralysis, my dog claims a vodka and viagra is a stiff drink.

Anonymous said...

inner city recumbent crits would be super dope!
i would cut my skinny jeans into clam baggers and my alternative apparel shirt into a wicked native style tank top.
the orgasm is small compared to a recumbent lead out sprint and the circle jerk afterwords.

HLH (HiP to be laying horizontal)

Anonymous said...

CommieCanuck

You have to be a real man to portage a recumbent.
You are degraded to wussie status.

Recumbent Lord

Pootie Tang said...

Sha! Dah! Tey!

leroy said...

Of course, if you gargled with vodka and viagra you'd get a stiff neck.

(Hey, don't blame me. Commiecanuck started recycling vintage japes with that penguin/ice cream story.)

Archer Sully said...

As a recumbisto, I find too many of us to be, well, embarrassing, especially the anonymous poster that incendiated today's post. What a farcking douche! Of course, he's just a troll, after all, it was success on the track, not at PBP, which lead the UCI to ban the infernal contraptions, and everyone knows that. If he didn't, well, he's a total moron as well as a douche.

In the meantime, I let almost anyone who wants to take a spin on my trike, and most seem to find it a blast. I make no claims, though, as I know that its kinda heavy, slow, and as an overweight, bearded guy, I sure as hell can't climb, although I can't vouch for the trike.

Anonymous said...

So I have heard that over the last hundred years that men who are gifted with large man members have been inducted into a secret society of recumbentness and that there are women that protect the mighty chode, conche, taint.

Thank you women of recumbent men for keeping them in the fore front of 'man on man' action...laid back style.

Anonymous said...

I am still jerking off.

Jenna Jameson said...

Leroy, sometimes after a hard day on the set, I like to wrap my lips around a stiff cock...tail.

PK said...

Check it out WRM, pretty absurd.
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/bik/2673256219.html

ce said...

"--though I suppose an upright rider technically has to "low-five" a recumbent rider."

Down low... TOO SLOW!

Anonymous said...

Arnold can relate to fellow 'laid back' riders.
http://www.collegeotr.com/college_otr/lunch_break_arnold_schwarzenegger_equates_pumping_iron_to_having_an_orgasm_18801

Anonymous said...

Looking to buy a carbon frame.

I shop Walmart first, but I will search Craigslist next.

Anonymous said...

It's over...

Mark Cavendish
The girl that is @petatodd has her LAST EVER shoot in @ZOO_UK magazine this week. Even I shall be purchasing.
8 Nov

Anonymous said...

Women won't say it out loud, but what really puts them off recumbents the most is the risk of speeding along fast and being hit in the winky by a wasp...

frilly said...

TGFB=Thank God For Butt'r

Not nearly as clever as the cellular biologist explanation.

Keirin Means Beer said...

Pre-oder Ultegra DI today!! Front derailleur price is especially awesome but really it's all a 'bargain.'


Shimano Ultegra Di2 STI Shift Levers
Our Price: $444.99

Shimano Ultegra Di2 Rear Derailleur
Our Price: $339.99

Shimano Ultegra Di2 Front Derailleur
Our Price: $309.99

CommieCanuck said...

TGFB=Thank God For Butt'r

Yeah, we all saw, "The Last Tango in Paris."

Anonymous said...

Campy will finish their electric shift system as soon as their factory gets electric.

cycle

Anonymous said...

IP ratings cost money to achieve; I doubt Campy would've done it to motor vehicle spec anyway. The other thing about waterproofing is that if water gets in, it often can't get out and things corrode (the cruise control box on an Electra-Glide being one that I've had to repair).

hey nonny mouse

Office Chairs said...

Leroy, sometimes after a hard day on the set, I like to wrap my lips around a stiff cock...tail.

PAUL said...

I cannot let this get by: footballs are not "oblong". They are oblate spheroids.
Thank you.

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OMR said...

Lovely shoes ! It's perfect for the summer

http://www.xtraorbit.com/1366.html

Fixie Bikes said...

Oh man the 80's look terrible.