Yes, that's right, circumstances require that as of today I take temporary leave of this blog until Monday, September 19th, at which point I will return with regular updates. This leave has been in the offing for quite some time, so don't act all surprised about it, even though I haven't mentioned a thing about it on this blog until just now. Also, I won't bore you with what I'll be doing during my leave, though I can confirm that I will not be doing any of the following:
--Going to Interbike
--Going to Eurobike
--Going to the Vuelta a España
--Going to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp™
--Getting an adult Bar Mitzvah
In my absence, I suggest that you follow my Twittering account just in case I have important news to relate, such as my consumption and enjoyment of a particularly tasty brand of corn chip that I think you might also like to try. (Where's that check, Doritos people?) And speaking of Twitter, a fellow Tweeterer recently alerted me to the existence of this:
It would appear that someone is trying to achieve a sort of arch McSweeney's-meets-Cycle-Chic effect by combining photos of models on bicycles with prose like this:
When piloting your velocipede it is imperative that you consider prudence, modesty, and decorum at all times, lest you be sanctioned by local law-keepers for improper attire. For, you see, high moral conduct is the chief concern of our metropolitan constabulary, and young women on bicycles must bear in mind the moral weakness of pedestrians as they navigate our sin-besotted conurbation.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
In other words, don't ride with your ass crack showing.
As for the so-called "Brooklyn Magazine" itself, I had never come across it before, but the following video they've produced is a pretty good summation of the current state of affairs:
Brooklyn Magazine Promo from Louis Gruber on Vimeo.
Yes, Brooklyn does have many faces, and they make you want to grab them by their patterned scarves and shout horrible, horrible things into them.In any event, pending my return, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll feel inexplicably tingly, and if you're wrong you'll hear a song.
Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to "seeing" you when I return on September 19th.
1) The speed at which a retrogrouch goes "Woo hoo!" is:
--46mph
--46kph
--27mph
(Off to a foffing good start.)
2) There is only one Dmitry Fofonov.
--True
--False
“But with the miles, the pain from the hole in my perineum got stronger."
3) Who said this?
4) This $5,500 titanium and belt-driven commuter:
5) Do police officers hate cyclists?
--Yes
--No
6) To this day, nothing gets attention in Williamsburg like a nice set of:
7) Hooray! It's ________:
--Helmets
--Helments
2,023 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1601 – 1800 of 2023 Newer› Newest»holy fuck, seems like there are 1619 lycra wearing pervs following me...
Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492 for the same reason so many men run.
There was a woman after him with a mop in one hand and the bills in the other.
Why do many cities make dog owners clean up after their dogs when they take a dump in the bike lane?
It's organic matter. It might stink, but so what, if you just leave it there it will make the grass greener.
Gosh Darn. I just stepped in that last comment, and I am the one who made it.
GRRRRR!!!!
Dog poop stinks, but you can scape it off if you step in it.
The POOP that is going on in Washington will end up scraping us all off to the scrape pile before it is all over.
The National Bike League's phone number is (614) 777-1625 and the address of Adventure Bicycle Company is 1625 Cowpath Road, Hatfield PA.
Wonder if that is just a coincidence, or if it means something?
Comment 1625. That is why I am asking. Not because I thought it was a earth shattering question, or something.
Convergence!
at 1625.
No, 1628, damn, convergence happens quick.
1630 anyone, its up for grabs:
There is a stock photo called Ikea 1626.
The question to ask is: What type of fool would want to use that photo for anything other than just to make fun of it on a bicycle themed blog?
Hey someone is posting comments and messing my counts up.
How dare you?
JK! Just trying to live up to my various names for tonight.
...the company is named as an acronym comprising the initials of the founder's name (Ingvar Kamprad), the farm where he grew up (Elmtaryd), and his home parish (Agunnaryd, in Småland, South Sweden).
It's to hard being grumpy. I don't like being an ol' coot!
And I'm off on a short gallop.
1635
I think "gallop" is ono
ono...
...matopoeic!
A word that mimics a natural sound.
"Tinkle"
"Pow"
The classic, "snort".
I think "KAPOW" would count as an intensified "POW".
With "KA" being the intensifier.
Of course, you could say "Fucking KAPOW". I think that would count as two intensifiers.
Yea. Run it up to 1800!
Wait, I am a grump tonight. Stop posting meaningless comments now, you young whippersnapper!
Or you could say 1645!
I think 1648 rhymes with 1649.
Wooaaa. OK, I'll leave ya. Ya 'ol Grump.
Take my horse with me. Bye.
Good bicycles cost too much.
P.S. It don't take a crudity old fool to say that!
The old grump is dead.
Keep posting. I shut him up for good.
I was getting tired of him anyway. Having a snob is enough, we don't need an ol' grump too.
I need a new handle. I have run out of meaningless things to talk about. I will return with a new name and a new attitude when I decide who I want to be.
Of course, when I return, how will you know it is me? It could just as easily be a lurker who decides to join in on this fun.
1655
1656
1657
1658
1659
1660
1661
1662
1663
1664
1665
Even though I am just a person who does nothing but count. I am going to take my 15 minute break. During my break, if I can figure out something interesting to say about 1666, I will.
The click you shall here in the background is the sound of the time clock punching my time card.
See you after my break in 25-40 minutes (maybe).
There are 1666 results for Old bicycle Stock Photo images.
Old Bicycle Stock Photos by CanStockPhotos
This snicker is really good. Hope the boss doesn't figure out this diet coke is really a PBR.
He hasn't yet. Usually he just makes fun of me eating a candy bar and drinking a diet cola. Sure am glad he can't smell.
Favorite movie line:
"Aw, that could be anybody's pig crap silo!"
Seems appropriate.
At 1770!
1776 seems a significant number.
1672
1673
1674
1675
1676
1677
1678
1679
1680
That Count does not realize that I read BSNYC.
I caught him with a PBR in the break room.
That's the 1682th Pink slip I have handed out in my life. The last guy before that I fired for trying to smuggle Wednesday Weed in his seat tube.
Well, got to get back to work.
All these knuckleheads try to do anything but work. I'll probably catch someone else tonight. Oh, the problems of being the boss.
I think that should be, "That, The Count..."
Time to finish this off...
Getting close to the end, can't stop now.
1687
1688
1689
1690
Going...
Going...
to the bathroom????
Did I catch you a bad time?
..95
1696
One thousand sixteen hundred and ninety seven.
It takes a long time to type out these numbers now.
AND THE WINNER IS:
Get back to work, and quit posting useless posts of this website.
Just a question, does "The Boss" ride a bicycle?
The Boss did at least make one charitable donation to a bicycle advocacy group.
1703 T Street is the address for the bike shop that made this commercial .
Why is the word moto, a contraction for motor, the middle word in bicycle moto cross?
Searching for 1705 and bicycle, I found this article. It is a study about rumble strips and bicycles.
May be useful to someone some day if they are involved in roadway planning.
Analysis of Gap Patterns ...Accommodate Bicycle Travel
Gustave Garrigou won the Tour de France in 1911.
Octave Lapize won the year before.
In the 1909 Tour de France, Jean Alavoine was leading in the 14th stage when his bicycle broke with only 10 km to go. Changing bicycles was not allowed back then, so he ran the last 10 km with his bicycle on his shoulders, and won the stage with a margin of 6 minutes and 30 seconds.
I would have loved to have seen that stage.
1909 winner was François Faber.
The race organizers asked him to slow down about half way through the race just to keep it more interesting for the spectators.
A study of 1710 casualties on bicycles basically showed no reliable evidence that helmets reduced head injuries.
One month early. Posted a comment about WRM making the blog post at 11:11am on 11/11/11.
I wonder if there will still be anyone posting to this particular comment section on that day?
Yup, Nogocyclist, there probably will be, and they'll be commenting at Woo Hoooooo speed. Sad, pathetic, and true. I'll be disappointed if it doesn't happen.....
Well, that's kind of hurty.
Alak, I must away...
I retire from this blogular "commenting space."
Besides, I have to fight this nasty new habit of "double quoting" that I have now.
To top it off, my wife thinks I'm in an Internet "chatting room" when I make these posts.
Which is "Not Good."
Adieu!
Blog Drafter don't leave now. We need you to take a pull to get us to comment 2011.
Its only 291 comments away. Well, 290 after I post this one.
Show your wife what you have been doing. She will let you "have your way" big time if you do.
She won't think you are crazy, She will KNOW you are crazy!
Because your wife will know you are truly crazy, she will let you get away with whatever you want to do.
She will do this because .... well, there is not politically correct way of saying this, so .... she will be terrified of you.
Need an edit option on here.
Should have said "no" not "not" in the last comment.
Never ending aimless.
I think that pretty well describes my life. I know it shouldn't, but truthfully, it does.
Of course if I accept that my life is never ending aimless, it does justify staying up after midnight typing comments that probably only two or three people will ever see.
Sir Issac Newton died in 1726. His theories defining the laws of motion are foundational in describing how a bicycle works.
Of course he died before the bicycle was invented so he did not even realize this.
My desire to post trivia about 1728 and how it relates to bicycles has failed. Every reference that includes the two is meaningless in this case.
1729 is the Hardy–Ramanujan number.
Knowing this may cause someone to think you are smart. But the truth is if they know that you are correct in this case, they are probably smart enough to know you are not a genius based on the other things you say after you state this fact.
Now the truth is, I now know this fact, but have no idea how it will give my life any more purpose.
5:30 in the afternoon is 1730. Sounds like a good time for a bike ride. Wonder if it is almost that time somewhere and if someone is fixing to get on their bike and go for a ride.
Being the world is such a large place that is very probable.
Martha Washington was born on June 2, 1731.
What does she have to do with bicycles? The lower level of the George Washington Bridge is nicknamed Martha. This lower level allows the upper level to have room for bike lanes on the bridge.
1732 comments. Only 68 more to the end of this page.
Wooohoooo!!
In the year of 1733 William Kent designed a pram for the Duke of Devonshire to carry his young kids around in. This early carriage was designed to be pulled by a goat or a small pony.
Years later, a similar devise was designed to attach to a bicycle. William probably would have designed one to fit to a bicycle if only the bike had been invented first.
Gary's Dad has ridden 1734 miles as of September 3, 2011.
Need to get to another page change.
1736
1737
1738
1739
1740
1741
1742
1743
1744
1745
1746
1747
1748
1749
Next number has to relate to bicycles somehow, so I shall pause for a minute and see if I can find something to post that might be a little more interesting than what the post count is.
Protesters on bicycles close down the Westminster Bridge in protest for burning coal for an hour or so back in 2009.
The original Westminster Bridge was erected in 1750.
1751
1752
1753
1754
1755
1756
1757
1758
1759
1760?
1761?
Do any of the next few number have any real meaning? Probably Not. Meh!
1760 kms Bicycle section in a very remote area (I would assume.)
First 1760kms Bicycle Section
39 more to the next page change.
38
37
36
35
34
33
32
31
30
29 More I guess?
1772. Wonder what happened that influenced bicycles later on in the next year? I think I will check.
The Boston Tea Party was in 1773.
It dealt with taxation without representation. Now cyclist pay taxes and are not fully represented .
The foundation of the United States was strongly laid in the year 1774. This lead to a county that eventually built roads for bicycles.
Later the cars and trucks just took these roads over for the most part, but the fact is that the First Continental Congress in 1774 did eventually lead to the building of the roads that us cyclist love to use.
Boy Scout Troop 1775 worked on their cycling merit badge this summer.
A family rode their bikes 1776 miles to go to a BMX race.
27 more to another page turn?
26
You must not be able to subtract. It is only 21 more.
20
Oh to be 19 again.
Wait a minute, I remember 19. I think I would rather not be 19 again.
18. When I turned 18 I got carded the first time in my life.
Oh, it was different in the old days. I remember the days when you could earn enough money to buy a can of soda by going to the store for the neighbors to get them a pack of cigarettes or a six pack of beer.
Earning money for a soda was a big thing for us when we were 7, 8, and 9 years old.
Comment number 1783. When people search for 1783, it is a shame that this comment will come up somewhere in their list on the search engine results.
1784 Bicycle.
What in the world?
I think that is a sculpture of a robot riding a bike. Interesting because the head of the robot looks to be a piston (a part from a car).
Hum....
Midnight Bike Ride #2-MVI 1786
Same ride, Video 1787.
Florida Senate Bill 1788 (2011) died.
Did I misread it? From what I could tell it was a law to make it legal to ride a bike with no hands.
Is it against the law to ride a bike with no hands in Florida, since this bill did not pass?
One dozen more comments on this page.
What bicycle related products commonly come by the dozen?
Eggs.
It's almost Halloween and cyclist everywhere are getting ready to buy eggs.
OK, I have really run out of things to say so I am just making comments pulled out of thin air!
The Celeifere was invented in 1791.
Seventeen ninety two comments. Think it is time to go to sleep. We only need eight more comments to complete this page, but I think I will drop back and let someone pull the peloton of a while.
I am tired of pulling everyone else.
Go ahead, take over.
Cott'n pick'n alarm clock!
Let me get 15 more minutes...
I have decided that I will not pull beyond the next podium. This is the last one I shall contribute to for this date's comments.
I may make guest appearances in all likelihood, but it will be to make a comment that is for some purpose other than running the counts up.
It would be nice to reach 2000, but I shall leave that to someone crazier than me.
Noon in New York, need to check and see if WRM has posted anything yet.
He has not posted a new blog post yet. He must have hit the snooze button today.
That or Snob Jr. pulled a 24 hour event last night.
Since I am retiring today, do I get a gold watch, or do I get a gold bike.
Hint....hint....
I'll take the bike.
In the middle 18th century did they say party like its 1799?
And this is the last comment before the page change, and the last for no purpose on this date's comment section, at long last.
Have fun. I am retired.
For good this time.
I, too, am totally retired now, for good.
LoserS!
MCCMIIIth
Forza!
KNEEL BEFORE ZOD. I go on my hols and everybody retires? Just when it's starting to get interesting?
Why would anyone want wireless electronic brakes on a bike?
Would it work better that the classical braking system? Cost less? Save on weight?
The answer to all those questions is "No". The only reason anyone could want electronic brakes would simply be because they would be the one to "Have them First".
Do you realize it has been a whole week since someone commented on this section?
Call the BBC, this is world shattering news! I never would have believed it if I did not see it for myself.
Could someone please tell me how fast I am going. I got this new cyclocomputer but did not realize where the display was!
So how do you tell how fast you are going? I have not figured out how to do that yet.
Epic comments page!
Record setting?
Guiness Book of World Records, even.
Rupert,
I married you for your money. That child you think you fathered with me is not yours.
MCCMXI
Wendy,
But! You told me you couldn't get pregnant giving be felatio.
Pierre Michaux was born in 1813.
For Comment 1814, I shall mention an event that occurred in that year that even though was tragic would still seem to be a dream to many hipsters today.
London Beer Flood (1814)
323,000 imperial gallons (1,470,000 L) of beer burst out and gushed into the streets of London. Sadly but truly a case of several people dieing because of way too much beer.
This comment section may be on life support, but it will never die!
Last comment was made on November First @1:45 AM. Someone needs to get out front and take a pull so we can break the 2000 mark.
Anyone willing, are y'all just a bunch of peloton brats?
A motorist almost killed me last week.I was about to turn left onto another street and he tried to go around me by driving into the incoming lane. I looked before turning and he zoomed past just by the narrowest of margins. He and the passenger looked back at me as I made my turn and they looked scared, because they knew I was going to go back after them. I wanted to rip his tongue out and stuff it down his throat. But a cop car appeared.
Comment 1818... midpack?
This is a good day to mount the studded tires on the old commuter. I will also remove the computer - cause I really don't want to know how slow I will be this winter.
It's still faster than snow shoes.
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