Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Sideways: Take Me Away!

If you were around "back in the day," then you might remember this commercial:



Who among us can't relate? It's a sentiment that rings as true today as it did back then. The goddamn traffic. That sonofabitch boss! That Spawn of Satan baby!! And the dog!!! Oh my God, won't somebody kill that fucking dog!?!?!



Between David Berkowitz and the Calgon lady, people of the 1970s and '80s were highly susceptible to dog-induced stress. This, as much as anything else, was responsible for the so-called "cat boom" of the 1990s.

In any case, when I find myself overwhelmed by the barking baby and the crying dog and the boss who snarls indecipherable orders at me, I can't just slip into a hot bath with a bar of Calgon--mostly because the dog always follows me in, and the smell of wet canine is not exactly aroma therapy. So instead, I daydream about people whose lives I envy, and I imagine what they're probably doing right then.

I used to imagine Mario Cipollini, since it's a pretty good bet that at any given moment he's pectorals-deep in decadence at his Tuscan villa--either that, or he's just riding shirtless:

Now, though, I've found somebody who lives even more sumptuously than Mario Cipollini. That person is of course the man we met yesterday, Larry Olmsted, writer of "The Great Life" column on Forbes.com. In addition to being the author of canonical cycling classics such as "Why You Need A Custom Road Bike," he also penned "Dog Days of Summer? Not With the KoolCollar!," which you'll no doubt recognize as perhaps the single greatest thing ever written about how to keep your dog from getting too hot.

Anyway, there I was, once again drowning in life's travail as an overheated dog humped my leg and a baby, in turn, humped the dog. And once again, I wondered how I could possibly manage all this stress. Taking a deep breath, I thought to myself, "I wonder what old Larry's up to right now. Something fabulous no doubt." So I checked his Twitter, and sure enough he was in Norway stuffing his face full of moose meat:
Sigh... I can almost taste the fur. Moose meat, take me away!

By the way, when he's not gorging himself on moose, Olmsed is riding around Italy dressed as a cow:

Presumably he never saw the movie "Top Secret." Or, more profoundly, maybe he did.

But while it's easy to be jealous of people like Larry Olmsted, whose lives are filled with custom bicycles, and moose meat, and cow jerseys, and Golden Retrievers with ice collars around their necks, it's important to remember that life just isn't fair. The truth is, the universe doesn't owe you anything, and it all comes down to the fact that some people are simply better than others. Larry Olmsted is one of those people. You ride a Cannondale, he rides a Seven. You eat chicken, he eats moose meat. You have a regular jersey that's one color, he has a mottled one that makes him look like the world's Fredliest Holstein.

Look, he can't help it if he's naturally awesome. And how awesome is he? Well, he's so awesome that he had to get a singlespeed because he was too fast for the group ride:

I got my first single speed three years ago because I often participated in group fun rides where the pace was bit slow and not challenging, but that’s okay because I was there for the social aspect. But I soon thought, if instead of slacking off so I could hang and chat, what if I was working the entire time?

Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "If you're so fast why don't you just find a stronger group instead of sandbagging on the MS ride?" Well, that's just the sort of thing a loser would say. See, what I've learned from reading Olmsted's work is that you can't think like a loser--you have to think like a Larry. Sure, a loser might just quit that slow group ride, but a Larry just keeps taking parts off his bike until the ride is hard again. Problem solved.

Actually, I think USA Cycling should introduce this concept to bike racing. Instead of having a bunch of different categories, there should just be a single Category 5, and instead of upgrading you they could just remove components every time you win. This way, the slow people could all ride their custom Sevens, and the fast people would have to ride unicycles.

This is the beauty of Larryism. Instead of seeking new challenges and experiences, you simply change your equipment. This allows you to live in a perpetual state of moronic condescension.

Speaking of singlespeeds, a reader has forwarded me one that is so "bad ass" that even Larry "Too Strong For The Group Ride" Olmsted probably couldn't handle it:


Bad Ass Bike - $315 (The Dalles Ore)
Date: 2011-07-19, 8:36PM PDT
Reply to:

This is a bad ass mother fucker Bike. This bike has no speed limit. Brand new chain tenser. If you can't handle it, I have the shimano derailer. Michelin Kromion tires ($60.00 per tire.) (Sugio) 52 teeth front sproket, fuji bars & seat post. Alex rims, tektro clip on brakes.
Adam 600 vintage pedals. 1 altar custom butted alloy frame.

This bike is meant for a hard-core mother fucker.....

Call Kirk at 541-993-[deleted] $ 315.00 or best offer



Do you know what the definition of "bad ass" is? It's a chain that contains at least two right angles:

The only way you can outdo that is with the elusive "Cat's Cradle" setup:

Show up at the SSWC with that and they'll give you the winner's tattoo before the race even begins.

Meanwhile, moving from "bad ass" to "bad Assos," another reader tells me that the gilded "A" is still running ads which feature egregious examples of cleat/pedal incompatibility:


To wit:

You'd really think they'd have noticed by now. Then again, the model is probably another Larryist, and he set his bike up that way on purpose since his local charity ride wasn't hard enough.

Also, the very same reader also sent me this ad, which features a disembodied hand:

As much as I admire downhill mountain bike chic and the manner in which it evokes chin-strap facial hair, "peeing Calvin" decals, and that whole 1990s "cat boom"-era Limp Bizkit aesthetic in general, I also can't help thinking that the hand would be doing him a huge favor by handing him a change of clothes instead of a camera. At the very least, perhaps the hand could proffer him this anorak, to which I was alerted by high-end clothier Outlier:

Here are three (3) quick facts about this garment:

--It is "experimental;"
--It has a magnetic dickey;
--It costs $425.

It's also an ideal choice for scurrying crab-like on all fours:

Beyond this though I'm sorry to say I can't provide you with any additional insight. For example, I have no idea why it's "experimental," though perhaps the magnetic dickey is untested and there's still some danger of strangulation. (Warning: never use your magnetic dickey while wearing metallic neck jewelry.) Also, the jacket appears to have something on the order of 97 pockets, and from the looks of things can be folded up into the shape of a teddy bear, but as for how you'd do this or why I have no idea. Presumably, if you break your leg while scurrying on stuff and get stranded in the wilderness, you can snuggle the teddy bear as you alternately scream for help and sob about the cruelness of fate.

I will hand it to Outlier, though, for this appears to be by far their most complicated garment to date. I'd get one myself, except I'm reasonably sure I couldn't figure it out and would get caught in it like a straight jacket. Also, I try to keep the crab-like scurrying to a minimum. And, it's $425, which I could use instead to buy like 20 moronically simple baja-style pullovers with the marijuana smell pre-impregnated:

Thus attired, I'd hop on my sideways bike (forwarded by another reader) and ride off into the sunset:



Of course, you really should get a custom sideways bike, but I'm saving that article for Forbes.

146 comments:

Comment deleted said...

Can't…resist…easy…pickings.

Anonymous said...

wooooooooooooooooooo

Anonymous said...

donkey

abelgus said...

Poduinimi

Anonymous said...

donkey slow today because he ride bike from Mellow Johnny's

Kenny Banya said...

dammit

Anonymous said...

whatevs

Amy said...

allez!

Anonymous said...

anonymous is like doping - it's cheating no to write your name - I wudda won

Anonymous said...

"You need to upgrade your Adobe Flash Player to watch this video."

i'm guessing its the 'calgon, take me away' commercials...

Anonymous said...

Top tenner, woohoo!

le Correcteur said...

top ten again! No more pack fodder!

4FUXAKE said...

THOR de France

oh, and top 10.

ringcycles said...

Drat! Blew the corner and I'm circling the car park.

4FUXAKE said...

dang.

le Correcteur said...

Well, dammit, stop sprinting so hard and killing my top tens, anonymous! My legs were hurting today.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

me said...

Anonymous = DQ
Great post today BSNYC.

Bad Lawyer said...

I specialize in cleat-pedal incompatibility.

Oh, one other thing...yesterday's post was a brilliant deconstruction of conspicuous consumption in bicycling. Thanks for unpacking and repacking that bit of bike culture, Snob.

hillbilly said...

how did you know I ride a Cannondale?!?!

le Correcteur said...

Snob,

"would get caught in it like a straight jacket. "

Strait jacket? No? Or is a straight jacket what you buy when you don't like cornering? One more piece of hyperspecialized outdoor clothing?

With all due respect, Snob,

--le Correcteur

Anonymous said...

moose knuckle

Easton Heights Blogger said...

hir-larry-ous! (see what I did there?)

Anonymous said...

Oh, god. And I thought the Eighth Avenue bike lane was bad:

http://www.newsobserver.com/2011/07/20/1356737/bicyclist-300-pound-bear-collide.html

Ints L. said...

Douché Mr. Snob.
Now I want to see ubiquitous WWLD (What Would Larry Do?) bumper/fender stickers.

crosspalms said...

I'd have gotten here sooner but I was riding my sideways bike, stuck my arm out to signal for a turn and spent the next half-hour pulling myself out of the hedge.

grog said...

Take Larry away.
Where is Recumbabe?

HOTH UMID

Amy said...

Are clip-on brakes like a clip-on fender or do they clip-in to your wheel like a Look Keo cleat?

Do you have to twist the heel to get the brake dis-engaged or is there a quick release skewer?

Anonymous said...

Glad I wasn't the only one concerned about the performance of clip on brakes...

Astoriasontop said...

lots of crab people in the blog today

Anonymous said...

Do my eyes deceive me or has Larry "unfittable body type" Olmsted lowered himself to riding a stock Pinarello?

Anonymous said...

"show up at the SSWC with that and they'll give you the winner's tattoo before the race even begins." Hilarious!

anonymous this time said...

Two things:
#1 i hadn't thought about the calgon commercial in years and just yesterday after dealing with my dog and kids i actually said "calgon take me away". coincidence? i think not

#2 stumbled upon this tumblr yesterday. do not open the link if you are offended by female nudity or if your draconian boss monitors your every move on the internet as if the company's productivity depended on knowing if you read a blog or looked at a booby.

hottybikes.tumblr.com

Etherhuffer said...

Calgon? Who cares. Its the Ivory Soap Girl that you need to find! I think she may be Behind the Green Door........

Anonymous said...

Su-Su-Sugio

Andy said...

I was looking over my shoulder...

Anonymous said...

I just read Lary's blog. He failed to mention that the real reason his Butterfield & Robinson cycling trip to Italy was the greatest trip ever is that they must have given it to him free considering the number of times he mentions their name & polishes their apple. Either that, or he shits gold bars.

crosspalms said...

And I thought Burt Wolf had a good gig on public television. He's totally been Larried.

Marcel Da Chump said...

I was 15 yrs old growing up in the Bronx when the Son of Sam was on the loose. After he was captured a friend and I rode our bikes to a park in Yonkers where a cave was located alleged to have been the sight of Berkowitz's satanic rituals.
Yep, it had satanic symbols on the walls, blood red of course.

Anonymous said...

magnetic dickey..tee hee.

TdF Douche' Bag said...

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PINERELO AND PINEROLO?


Please keep answers brief. Thank You.

ED said...

Whoa. Just watched the 'Top Secret' clip and was like whoa - they really went there? fuck.

Anonymous said...

hmm not sure what is more impractical the outlier anorak or the sideways bike, or maybe its the koolcollar? or maybe it's being a fat slob like larry and thinking you need a 15,000 bike. here's a tip, lose 30 pounds and buy a $1500 bike.

Anonymous said...

Snob....
You are really laying into this guy. I guess the Tour has gotten really, really boring. We need some more car on bike contact or at least a good old fashioned doping rumor.

Anonymous said...

"Podziba says someone stole 35 bikes worth $10,000 from a green container in Flushing Meadows Corona Park."
http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local/new_york&id=8260002

Buffalo Bill said...

Sorry Wildcat R.C., moose meat is lean and all, but try eating it all freakin winter. I swear, I just about took the vegan pledge back in '88.

As my mama used to say: "Eat yer stew or Ima kill you"

wishiwasmerckx said...

Magnetic Dickey?

It's been done before.

See "Detachable Penis" by King Missile.

w said...

Did anyone else notice that a Pinerello won in Pinerolo today?

James Joyce said...

Was that sideways bike video filmed in Dublin? Those paths look very dutch to me.

Buffalo Bill said...

So is Cédric still the only member of his eponymous team? Am I the only one who thinks the kit might be the problem?

Amy said...

pinarello: pinarolo::cervelo:cavalo

Alt.Trans.Bikes said...

Hey, wait a minute, is calgon just code for today's latest bath salt doping? I better hope not, snobby!

http://www.leadertelegram.com/news/front_page/article_6cce487d-619f-5b9a-b1d6-3fa55fcae7d7.html

Anonymous said...

That jackety thing looks like it's from a 1960s episode of Dr. Who.

hey nonny mouse

ringcycles said...

Yep, I guess it only takes comping Larry a $10,000 tour of Italy to get him to love riding stock un-fitted alu road bike (with "high end" 105 drive train!)

I imagine his smile in the photo was from stuffing himself with prosciuto and buffalo mozarella panini at lunch.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. Wildcat Rock Machine --

My dog wishes to lodge a protest, in the strongest terms, that profane and generalized requests for canicide are a socially unacceptable response to dog induced stress.

He further contends that there is no reliable sceintific evidence establishing the existence of Dog Induced Stress Syndrome ("DISS").

I am less convinced and recall the time he borrowed my credit card to order a dozen KoolCollars with "Colnago" printed on them.

And the time he spiked my Bag Balm with chili oil because I called him a pain in the ass.

I'm beginning to think he's DISSing me.

Hairy legged ingrate.

leroy

Charlie Didrickson said...

Sugio sprockets are like super fucking awesomely rare. The best...

Sideways Bike, makes me wanna design Gravel Skates.

Hungry Panda said...

" Instead of seeking new challenges and experiences, you simply change your equipment. This allows you to live in a perpetual state of moronic condescension."

Isn't that the entire concept of bicycling magazine, and the online bicycle reviewers. that includes Forbes, the New Yorker, Mens Fitness, Mens Health, Mens Journal, Outside, etc.

That is the consumer Mantra, buy better shit. I think I will sell my 12 year olf Sachs because my brand new 7 will be so much better.
And don't let me get started what a piece of shit my dentists Serotta is.
Meh

Did I tell you that calfee bamboo is better, faster, and more delicious that titanium.

J Scott. In the buff. said...

This is just a place holder.

ant3rd!

Sarah Palin said...

What would Larry do?

That picture of him in cow outfit says a thousand words, he looks like th normal height doughy journalist, Lose 20 pounds, and your bike will fit

Here is s tid bit of information for those forbes readers, moose does not taste like roast beef, never did, never will. Quit smoking them cigars, and you will have taste buds that work.

Huggs and kisses

Ryan Rapolsive said...

$21.25 for a Mexican hoodie. You're insane! I get mine for $10 at the local thrift mart.

yogisurf said...

The Frediest of Holsteins says Mooove over charity ride riders, I've put an english 3-sp hub on and I'm comin' thru.

crosspalms said...

Hey, Larry could have gotten a custom fixie for just $395!

Terre Haute Karl said...

I always preferred the commercial for the Calgon laundry soap...

"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"

Anonymous said...

balls.

Salty and Sore said...

97 pockets?! but I only have 57 things! GAH!

And, What the hell is a Car Park?!

Gratuitously half-naked Cipo... Take me away!!

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Marcel - I grew up in Canarsie - small world - remember Ruby the Knish man?

2:04 - i was thinking about son of sam yesterday!!!

weird

Anonymous said...

Flugk. I'm selling custom bikes. Money.

g-roc said...

Wet dogs smell; that I know. What I'm pondering is: do wet helper monkeys smell worse than wet dogs? Enquiring minds want to know.

Here's a tip: friends too slow but can't afford another bike? Shift to the gear that approximates what your ideal single-speed set up would be and don't shift for the entire ride.

Z hunter said...

@salty and 204
Mega coincedence, just this morning my goldfish told me to kill any vegans who eat salmon.

Worried said...

Isn't there a frequent commentor here who's dog talks to him on a regular basis?

Z hunter said...

oops, @daddo and 204, not salty

mikeweb said...

You know how fucking bad ass my bike is?? It's got front sprockets and rear chain rings.

suck it.

Hindenberg Bike Co. said...

Our bikes are made with special hydrogen and helium bonded together. So light you have to tether them down!

mikeweb said...

It looks like Larry's SOH (stand over height) is designed for maximum stimulation.

TOPP TOOB

Marcel Da Chump said...

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne,
The only times I visited Brooklyn were for fishing out of Coney Island or Sheepshead Bay and that felt like a two hour subway ride. I think I read about Ruby the Knish Man in the Daily News.

Anonymous said...

I have a serious problem: I can't figure out who is more ridiculous, Larry Olmstead or our dear non-hipster coffee shop cinelli hat friend from last week. I can only imagine how many of you share this dilemma, please oh please BSNYC, can we do a readers poll? Maybe a freak of the month context at the end of July?

Jasper said...

Commentators still all on fire, I'm loving it - especially the naked women on bikes tumblr. Talk about filling a niche...
Hey nonny mouse, don't you just know they have a pocket for a sonic screwdriver in there somewhere.

Anonymous said...

http://www.automotto.com/entry/pxp-thought-controlled-gear-shifting-bike-is-a-new-ride-on-road/

"What's your favorite color?"

"Red! No! Blue! AHHHHHHH!!!!"

I wonder what gear I need for this hill...5, no 6! AHHHHHHH!!!!

Anonymous said...

Speakin' of old school commercials to excite your hot dog (whatever that might mean): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBqldH8xiXc
Enjoy!

leroy said...

Dear Worried @ 4:04 --

Well of course my dog talks to me on a regular basis.

But I don't believe half the stuff he says.

leroy

Outlier Anorak Reviewer said...

$425? Really for the sensation and those pockets, I’d pay more.

Stranded said...

Snob, don't you know by now that riding with cleats that don't fit your pedals makes you a BasAss MFer? We all want to be BadAss MFers, that is unless we're hopelessly unhip. I'm so hopelessly unhip that I'm not embarrassed to ride flat pedals in my Chucks instead of bothering with the expense of clipless pedals and cleats that don't fit them. But then I never had any hopes of being hip. . . .

Anonymous said...

He has a dickey on his jacket . . . . dickey, dickey, dickey. Ha ha ho ho hee hee hee dickey dickey dickey

I wouldn't be caught dead in a dickey dickey dickey

Explosive giggling
dickey

Anonymous said...

Old Lare went on a B&R tour? Well, that just tells me all I need to know about him. We used to call B&R a bus tour for people who wanted to pretend they weren't on a bus tour. And it is a very, very exclusive bus tour, too.

Hint: B&R ain't exactly about the riding.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and...is a magnetic dickey anything like a detachable penis?

GolfSnob said...

I was riding in this morning it struck me that what really bugs me about Larry is that when he is talking about bikes, he knows nothing about what he is talking about. Not that this makes him unique, as lots of people do this. Luckily as someone who knows a little about bikes I (like all of us that read this blog regularly do can spot his BS). What about the 'average' Forbes reader? Can they? Does he know just a little about the other shit he babbles about? I know next to nothing about golf or fine eating or really anything except bikes... if I were a new golfer and I was reading his column, would I be able to spot his lack of knowledge? In some parallel blogosphere is golfsnob skewering Larry for his golf 'expertise'?

bikesgonewild said...

...good thing wildcat rock machine got that video of leroy's dog talking to leroy...

...that could be used in court in leroy's defense should he run amuck...

..."...your honor...dog sez 'do what i say or ima fucking kill you', you do what the dog sez, ya ???"...

...woof...

crosspalms said...

There's a feral cat in my neighborhood that talks to me, but all it ever says is "bring that leg over here so I can bite it again."

$20bootguy said...

anon 5:07, definitely. you can leave it at home when you think it's gonna get you in trouble. or make a little extra income in these tough economic times by renting it out when you don't need it.

Anonymous said...

I would've loved to been in the shop when Larry Olmsted handed the single-speed conversion instructions to his mechanic.

It's one thing to be so inept you couldn't build up a single-speed without professional help. It's another to assume your mechanic is clueless as well.

Anonymous said...

$20bootguy:

I've yet to meet the man who says there is a time he doesn't need his dickey.

$20bootguy said...

damn! i hadn't gone through the comments section yet. who would've thunk wishhewasmerckx and i had similar musical tastes?

also, WIWM, g-d has decided he wants us to make up after your incenendiary commentary. to spite you, i continued to race on my $20 booted tire. you thought this was due to selfishness, idiocy and possibly poverty; it was originaly due to lethargy, sloth and forgetfulness but - after that - simple spite. you also accused me of braggadoccio.

now, i realize you may level the same claim against me again, but i feel compelled to let you know that i subsequently won a prime racing on my booted tire, and the prize was - what else? - a set of maxxis tires. damn did i feel vindicated! "suck it, wishiwasmercxk!" i hollered over the line to the confusion of many on an onlooker. but i got the hint that g-d was sending and set about changing my tire the next morning.

lo and behold, when i went to change the tire not only was the $20 boot shredded into about seven pieces (which were almost impossible to tape together, and caused me a good deal of consternation at the local Commerce bank - those canadian b@stards are not nearly as helpful as Regis has led me to believe - but i digress...) but it had ALSO BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A $10 BILL.

f-ck, i thought. g-d does work in mysterious ways.

so i got the message. i will refrain from racing on booted tires *provided that* you sincerely apologize in front of all our anonymous friends for hurting my feelings. then we can listen to king missile songs with each of us sharing an ear-bud. i'll even introduce you to the cunnlingual equivalent to king missile's DP, "you suck" by consolidated/the yeastie girlz. what say you?

Stranded said...

Rock Machine:
http://www.lustyguide.com/galleries/metart/2006/e445653bd5/index07.html

Definitely worth a look.

wishiwasmerckx said...

$20.00 boot guy - "Suck it, Wishiwasmerckx!" Yeah. like I never heard THAT before...

As for apologizing, I just watched a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry apologized to the gals living in the Abused Women's Shelter down the street, and I think we all know about how well that worked out, don't we?

Admin said...

larry is the new fred.

larryism
larryist

nu-fred was so 2010

Anonymous said...

Think like a Larry!

Anonymous said...

PINARELLO!

Jonah Gibson said...

Anybody notice that Olmstead's neck is even shorter than his head tube?

Anonymous said...

this is further proof that there is no global warming or whatever you want to call it, obviously this guy has some wits and decided to waste it on this ...

Anonymous said...

stop. hold on. i'm dizzy. mouth is dry. heart is racing.

i really did not think this was possible...

but larry olmsted has overtaken ev "minimalist no more" bogue on my list of the most excruciatingly annoying dooshbags i've been unfortunate enough to have been introduced to on this blog. loud frat boy with rich parents as your boss type of annoying.

no. wait. 'new car smell killer' Martin Joel Erzinger also is high on that list...

contador. fingerbang.

hipsters. skinny jeans and ironic zz top beards...

cadel evans' PMS outbreaks.

i get it snobby, your leitmotif IS the annoying moth32fu&23r.

THAT is SO ANNOYING too...

the parade of the annoying.

smell ya tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

rats, check that:

it should read 'new car smell MAIMER' Martin Joel Erzinger

(also a possiblity is 'too successful and rich to prosecute for maiming and leaving his hit and run victim for dead on the side of a darkened highway' Martin Joel Erzinger.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Is it just me or is the gentle side to side swaying of the sideways bike strangely hypnotic?

Anonymous said...

Snob, you're a great writer, and I really enjoy the blog. But spending so many pixels to poke fun at this Larry Olmsted guy seems a bit beneath you.

Anonymous said...

Sideways bike douche, formerly of Boston (now of Dublin?), used to come to my bike shop and root through the used parts bin; he was also known for talking up the superiority of his idiotic bike while narrowly avoiding sideswiping parked cars with his ass and/or falling headfirst into a bus.

larry olmsted said...

Snob, i used to think your blog was funny- but now that you are lampooning me i think you're mean, generally.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jasper,

Welcome to the internet!! Regarding girls on bikes and some nonsense about niches: please read rule #34.

apophasis said...

"Cruelness", Wildcat?

BLAK DOGG said...

Anon: 10:41

I couldn't stand sideways bike guy either! He was even wors than Scooter Guy in Copley, at least he was nice, just sort of overly enthusiastic.

Calgon wasn't sold in bar form when that ad was aired.

Pleasure Dots

Thank Lob for progress!

Salty and Sore said...

@anon 7:52-

You really know how to turn a girl on don't you?

@larry 11:04

You had me at "I'm a douchebag bloviator"

Anonymous said...

Man that bad ass singleator singlespeed biking bicycle sure has a funky quick release setup going on

Belligero said...

This post delivers! I'm glad that the Forbes deal hasn't dulled the edge; Larry Olmsted might have difficulty eating his moose meat today with the thousand tiny cuts you've inflicted.

Anonymous said...

Another interesting thing about Larry's trips abroad was the following:

"Here’s what the company brings to the table in a nutshell: carefully selected luxury lodging, all in small, charming places..... (and whenever possible they do a complete takeover and avoid non-B&R guests)"

Note how "non-B&R guests" are avoided if at all possible. That means Larry can go to France and Italy without having the unsettling experience of sharing a hotel with French or Italian people.

UrbanRidingTips said...

Hey snob, I did the numbers and tomorrow is your thousandth post. 1000th!

Props to you and Vito! I heard you doped a lot thru the first half of your career but that's forgivable after posting so many wins. Don't go retiring now!

Ive read every post. Thanks for all the lols and all the now vocab.

Lob bless you man.

URT

ce said...

756: triple butted satan

ce said...

... in reference to allhailtheblackmarket, not just crazy man talk.

108 Shirt said...

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Anonymous said...

James Joyce said...

Was that sideways bike video filmed in Dublin? Those paths look very dutch to me.


Yes, Dublin. They're not bikepaths though; they're cycling on the sidewalk (illegally, but that's not the real crime here). I think the street is Griffith Avenue on the north side of Dublin.

Ayasha Kieth said...

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