Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Grand Scheme of Things: A Bold Caper

In yesterday's post, I discussed the implications of non-hipster-on-hipster crime. Certainly there is no greater tragedy than when youthful idealists are forced to confront the realities of urban living.

Or is there?

What happens when hipster actually robs hipster, which is what happened not too long ago when the MASH store in San Francisco experienced a break-in and a couple of bikes were stolen:
Despite the outfits, I'm actually not totally convinced that this was the work of hipsters, since hipsters love "authentic" accessorizing and this seems like an irresistible opportunity to finally wear some super cool "vintage" villain clothes à la Black Bart in "A Christmas Story:"

Then again, they were stealing bicycles, and riding in burglar clothes would have offended their sensibilities. I wish I had been present as they hatched styled the caper over $5 coffees on Valencia Street:

Burglar 1: "So what should we wear?"

Burglar 2: "Like, villain clothes, obviously."

Burglar 1: "But we can't ride in villain clothes. Will there be time to change into tight pants and cycling caps?"

Burglar 2: "Probably not. OK, let's just wear tight jeans and cycling caps then."

Burglar 1: "Can I at least wear a giant Chrome bag that says 'SWAG' on it?"

And so forth.

By the way, if you're wondering what the MASH store is, it is not a shop that sells action figures of B.J. Hunnicut, "Hot Lips" Houlihan, and Corporal Maxwell Q. Klinger:

Rather, MASH is a fashionable bicycle-themed design concern that puts their "M" logo on Cinelli stuff and produces videos of themselves running lights while wearing backpacks:

("Out of the way! Can't you see I'm wearing a backpack!?!")

Anyway, a crime like this is not only a violation of the law, but it's also an egregious violation of the social contract. By charging extra for stuff with a logo on it, Companies like MASH provide an essential branding service in the hipster community, and when rogue hipsters refuse to pay a premium for this service it threatens to undermine the entire hipster economy. Worse even is the loss of trust, for the hipster community depends on its members constantly validating both themselves and each other. We can't have them regarding one another with suspicion. A house divided cannot stand--even if that house is in a fashionably distressed and rapidly gentrifying part of town.

By the way, while I may be making light of the theft, I certainly don't condone it. However, in the grand scheme of misfortune and injustice it is a fairly minor occurrence. Some broken glass, a missing fixie, a pair of fugitive hipsters bickering over which boutique hotel to hide out in and whether or not being "on the lam(b)" is technically vegan... Despite all this, life in San Francisco will continue on as it has for years: smugly, and with an overinflated sense of self-importance.

The truth is, there are places in the world where people are far more accustomed to hardship, and where tragedy is a way of life. Needless to say, I have never been anywhere near any of these places, but I do like to read about them in comfort and safety in magazines like the New Yorker:

In fact, I am currently reading the issue above, and in it is a very interesting article about cycling in Rwanda which looks like this when it's lying on my floor:

I haven't actually finished the article yet because my helper monkey, Vito, is reading it to me and he has an irritating tendency to get distracted by matters of simian onanism. However, I've been quite engrossed by it (though not as much as Vito can become engrossed by himself), and among the riders profiled in it is Gasore Hategeka:

Gasore Hategeka bought his first bicycle in 2008. It cost thirty-five thousand Rwandan francs, roughly sixty dollars. Gasore, who was about twenty years old, had worked for nearly half his life before he could afford it.

After buying the bike, he becomes a "taxi-biker," and eventually "Cat 6"es his way onto Team Rwanda under the tutelage of Jonathan Boyer. If nothing else, it serves to put all those "must-have upgrades" into perspective, and it's the sort of article that should be ready by every Fred who has so much as contemplated buying a $2,000 set of wheels. It's also a welcome respite from the idiotic musings of John Cassidy:

("I think, therefore I douche."--Douchecartes)



The goal, basically, is to make mountain biking a high school sport:

NICA’s mission is to bring the sport of mountain biking to high schools coast-to-coast by 2020, and a major step in that direction is the NICA East Coast Outreach Tour. Matt Fritzinger, NICA’s Founder and Executive Director, will be joined by our new Development Director, Ben Capron, for a 6-day whirlwind tour of the East Coast. Stops have been chosen because supporters there are already dreaming of a NICA league in their state – NICA wants to make that dream a reality!

Each stop will include an evening event, sponsored by a local organization, to include a presentation, Q&A, drinks and snacks. Come out and see what NICA is all about. Let’s bring NICA coast-to-coast!


Racing bicycles (albeit of the smaller-wheeled BMX variety) was very important to me in my youth. In fact, I'd go so far as to say it was something of a salvation--a life preserver that saved me from drowning in a sea of thick accents, thicker hair gels, and impossibly lavish Bar Mitzvahs. They may have it tough in Rwanda, but they know not the horrors of being trapped in a temple as an unironically bemulleted band belts out the greatest hits of the 1980s and aging garmentos dance to lukewarm renditions of "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang. Therefore, anything that makes bike racing more accessible to our youth and offers them an alternative pursuit is all right by me.

So get involved--because I won't, but I do like the idea of someone doing it for me.

But while I would love for cycling to become more mainstream, I still have my reservations about those tourist rental bikes with which the bridges are always teeming at this time of year--even if the bike rental facilities are staffed by "blond bearded dreamboats:"

Blond Bearded Dreamboat at Brooklyn Bridge Park bike rental stand - w4m - 28 (Brooklyn Bridge Park)
Date: 2011-07-06, 10:58AM EDT
Reply to:

I was all lost on my bike on a Sunday, so I went to the bike rental booth and asked your co-worker gal for a map and how to get to the Kent greenway...aka Williamsburg. She was all what do you mean yeah I have no idea because I live the opposite direction but this dude probably knows, he lives in Williamsburg. And you DID know, it was so helpful. I focused on your wonderful directions and I pretty much had them down UNTIL you like, smiled at me or like maybe slightly a little bit looked into my SOUL before I turned away to leave and oh my gosh you have blue eyes and wait a minute where am I oh yeah my bike I'm leaving now what was that?
So yeah, that was intense dude! Did you do that on purpose?

You live in Williamsburg. I live in Greenpoint! Email me! Let's go on a bike adventure!

ps your directions were totally helpful! Despite you having disoriented me with your all that soul-looking, I remembered them and totally made it home super easily. Thanks! I seriously would've been literally lost without you.


It's bad enough that most of the the people who rent these bikes can barely ride them, but it's even worse that some of the staff can't give directions from the Brooklyn Bridge to Williamsburg--and that those who can are lauded as heroes. Perhaps scariest of all though is that the person renting the bike is not a tourist and lives adjacent to Williamsburg in Greenpoint, yet can't find her way home. I mean, how did she get there in the first place?

She might as well just ride backwards for all the attention she's paying:



It's the new frontwards.

132 comments:

Nogocyclist said...

Last

Chazu said...

fingerbang!

Nogocyclist said...

Second to last?

Dr. Feel Good said...

Podium.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah!

Agent 009 said...

Sacre Bleu

Bad Lawyer said...

Still time for a top ten?

Anonymous said...

Let Levi Ride [crash]!

Doug said...

Cav and I are pissed we didn't podium today. But I did read the blog first.

Anonymous said...

did

pebes said...

eleven?

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

"...he has an irritating tendency to get distracted by matters of simian onanism"

Who doesn't?

Anonymous said...

Obsession.
really, enough on the "hipster" theme. It doesn't really mean anything anymore. Further, I've seen your photo Eban, you're an aging hipster yourself.
BTW, some of those MASH guys are very fast. I don't think they fall under the umbrella term of "hipster" anymore than any other independent shop team.

I Go Around and Around said...

Cough hack wheeze. Uphill finishes are a bitch.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

someone has seen your photo, but apparently not your name, Wildcat Rock Machine...eh...Snobbie...eh...BSNYC....eh...RTMS...eh....Daddy

Anonymous said...

uh oh, we have a hater. (anon 1:13)
balls must be sucked.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

...daddy

Anonymous said...

Bromptoneers!

le Correcteur said...

Top twenty, unread.

Nogocyclist said...

I can see the police report now.
Pedestrian was struck crossing the street today by a bicyclist. Witnesses said the bicyclist was riding his bicycle backwards, sitting on the handlebars and TEXTING!

Marcel Da Chump said...

I read that NewYorker article and Jonathan Boyer is more commonly known as Jock Boyer, the first American to ride the Tour De France. Tom Ritchey also figures prominently in the article. Fascinating stuff, but being The NewYorker, you'll find depressing elements.

hillbilly said...

word frnt

hillbilly said...

i wouldn't call anon 113 a hater so much as someone who rides for the MASH team.

Nebraska bike commuter (non-DWI edition) said...

Not a bad finish for a rider palping fenders.

honkybucket said...

I like the last line of the missed connection post... "I would've been literally lost without you." Did she really need to qualify being lost to specify it'd have been in the literal sense? Would that not be understood to be the case if she was riding in an unfamiliar area without directions? I mean, it stands to reason she's figuratively lost on a daily basis. I'm literally gonna fart right now.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 1:13 said
"Independent shop team".

You brand clowns need to actually enter a real bicycle cycling bike race. Faking like you're a messenger after you leave your graphic design job and doing epic alleycats is commendable only in tight pant world.

Will said...

I'm not sure if the analysis of the imaginary hipster antfarm or the craigslist missed connections is funnier.

Anonymous said...

Scofflaws !

ervgopwr said...

I always smirk when the quote, "some of them are really fast" is thrown out as a qualifier to not make fun of someone.

As if they can dodge the joke. Or more precisely the bike equivilant of threatening to beat you up (i.e. 'drop' you in a 'race').

I know this cause I'm 'fast'. But even I still work under the pass/fail system.

MUCK FASH

Anonymous said...

Perhaps scariest of all though is that the person renting the bike is not a tourist and lives adjacent to Williamsburg in Greenpoint, yet can't find her way home. I mean, how did she get there in the first place?

She wasn't renting a bike -- she was lost and stopped at the bike rental for directions.

Snake said...

All right! Time for a crime spree!

ervgopwr said...

also, i'm on an independent shop team full of 'hipsters' by appearance absolutely, but none would self identify that way.

PASS FAIL

Fran H said...

Chas the MASH Backpack-Hipster video is outragous. It is like a "how many violations can you see ?" version of the hidden pictures page my kids do in Higlights Magazine (http://www.highlightskids.com/GamesandGiggles/HiddenPics/HIddenPixFlashObjects/h8hpiArchive.asp). Several times he is riding in the left hand lane against traffic !

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:13pm,

I am an aging version of pretty much everything on this blog.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS: Who is "Eban?"

portlandanonymous said...

thx, bsnyc!
i learned two new words today "onanism" & "garmentos"...now, how to work those into a conversation? :)

Anonymous said...

all is revealed before the two minute mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC3_zdtXmD0

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P

lady mtbiker said...

I was transfixed by the backwards-riding texting face-painting guy. I wonder: can this be done on singletrack? Let us all go forth and find the youtube video to document it...

Anonymous said...

Please no more John Cassidy pics.
I hate operettas!

Oedopus said...

The onus of Onan is on us. I'm on mom.

Anonymous said...

I'm not on the MASH team, but I know a few of them, and I've seen them at races.
In terms of racing ability, which Eban seems to hold in some esteem, they would clean bikesnob's clock eight ways to china.

Etherhuffer said...

I truly enjoy the way the hipster tag seems to burrow its way into the skin of those who try so hard to believe it does not apply. Man Snobby, you are like a real deer tick today!burrow burrow burrow. Hipster baiting should be an Olympic sport.

Anonymous said...

Mash SF sucks bigtime. My SPOS* acts up everytime i visit. And I'm sure it was an inside job...disgruntled and tatted cat 3 catherine hepburn fired for skimming the till.

Go to Freewheel.










*soul patch overload syndrome

Owen said...

http://tinyurl.com/69f3466

Horner says he is "like a salmon, just finding my way up the river."

Surely there is a joke to be made of this. What does BSNYC have to say?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:14pm,

Being able to clean my clock is not a measure of speed. I'm so slow my clock has a self-cleaning feature.

--Wildcat Rock Machine.

PS: Who is "Eban?"

xyxax said...

I'm all lost in the supermarket...

Eban is the first name of the renowned tidalist Eban Floe.

crosspalms said...

I thought Eban was the other half of that Israeli Swedish band Abba Eban

Chazu said...

Eban Floe

Thoughts arrive like butterflies

Oh he don't know, so he chases them away.

crosspalms said...

or those other guys, Eban E. & Ivory. Don't know if Eban E. and Chuck E. are related, Rickie Lee won't tell.

Anonymous said...

Eben, (apologies)
Is Stevil a hipster?
How about Team DFL?
I've personally seen the above do very stupid and illegal things. Yet I'm glad they exist and have a ton of respect for them.
I think using the term "hipster" is intellectually lazy. It plays will to the peanut gallery, but I wonder if you met them (the peanut gallery) would you have much respect for them? It's getting old, and after awhile it kinda makes you sound pathetic.

Anonymous said...

Oh no....SKY finally won a stage. The Eurospurt goons are going to be impersonating the helper monkey for hours tomorrow.....

xyxax said...

This after mistaking Cavendish for Matty Goss all the way to the line yesterday.

Anonymous said...

You seem to have, like, touched a raw nerve today, man......

Apologies if my hipster usage and punctuation isn't correct for this month. I'm over forty you know.....

hey nonny mouse

(P.S. I think it's spelt "Oedipus", could be wrong though)

Kimberly Coats said...

Thanks for talking about the New Yorker article. These guys are amazing and I'm lucky to work with them in Rwanda.

g-roc said...

@ervgopwr - but maybe they are pretty fast. It's not like Snobby ever makes fun of Cav or Contador ... oh, wait.

Anonymous said...

not to bring back the h-e-l-m-e-n-t-s issue, but just today our company announced that those of us who cycle to work and to job meetings (we are about half a dozen) MUST wear our cycling-bicycle-h-e-l-m-e-n-t-s or we cannot go to the meetings at all. something about workers' comp. i'm too confused to know what to make of it yet... but in protest, i'm going to wear my bicycle-cycling-h-e-l-m-e-n-t... and ride the train.

Me said...

if it quacks yada yada yada

[hipsters in denial... tch tch tch]

hillbilly said...

anon 303, that is fucked up and you could probably sue. do they make people quit smoking?

anon 214, you know this by watching them ride? racing is a)more than being fast, and b)difficult to get by watching someone. I bet they could clean 'berto's clock too, eh? he looks pretty slow on tv.

Me said...

eff that dfl comparison. dfl was putting on illegal cross races in sf city limits before most mission hipsters purchased thier first john deere trucker cap.

even before the spread of the ironic goatee (and van dyke) epidemic of '95.

olde skewl.

John said...

@anon 2:41 - I and most bike racers have no respect for people who regularly do stupid and illegal things. Anyone on my team caught behaving like those MASHoles would be invited to leave.

crosspalms said...

hipster hipster hipster

There, I feel better now, more like myself -- namely, intellectually lazy and part of the peanut gallery.

And I'm pretty fast for a 61-year-old guy who could lose 30 pounds -- anybody need their clock cleaned?

mikeweb said...

Hello from the land of Live Free or Meh.

nogo and ant1! Great showing! and BL in the mix.

Well, it seems that someone is harshing the mellow of an un-laid back Bay area denizen.

BTW, the quintessential sitcom Garmento.

Anonymous said...

NOOOOOO, he meant Ray-ban like the polyester polos Snobby favors.

cycle

Anonymous said...

hillbilly, in the same meeting in fact, my boss made an Office-like (The Office, the show) joke about me smoking -on my lunch hour, btw. i think the next thing is, yes, NO SMOKING... anyways, seems the city of new york is headed in that direction, too.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:41pm,

But I am intellectually lazy, and pathetic.

And slow.

I thought all that was obvious...

--Wildcat Etc.

Anonymous Coward said...

"This ain't no hipster shit"
"no really it isn't"
"Seriously, they're fast...So of course they're not hipsters"
ONAN ISM!

leroy said...

I don't mean to brag, but my dog assures me my riding is "half fast." So obviously, I'm at least 50% of the way to being fast.

I mean I think he said "half fast." It sounded like "half fast."

Paul Bowen said...

Here in England, America's Alzheimery, teary and vindictive maiden Aunt, we don't say hipster so America's hipsters may want to come here for some respite from being called hipsters? We do have a great big bag full of other words though, it's only fair to warn them.

leroy said...

The Rwandan cycling team article in the New Yorker is pretty amazing.

crosspalms said...

leroy,
I worked in a record store once, and we had an old 45 of something called the Half-Fast Waltz: "I want a waltz that is just half-fast. Not too slow, not too fast, just half-fast." And it was, too

Paul Bowen said...

Eban is what they used to try to kill the rave scene.

(I do realise this "joke" loses entirely its already pathetically small humour content when it enters a country that calls ecstasy something other than E but look, it's what I have.)

Paul Bowen said...

EBAN SLOW

MASH KWIK

MNKY WANK

leroy said...

Anon 2:41 --

You have peanuts? Did you bring enough for everybody?

Etherhuffer said...

@Paul, Love the ability to creatively curse, and the UK has that one down well, especially a mad Scotsman. Even your bomb throwing back benchers are good entertainment compared to our Wiener-Twitters.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

All I want for Xmas is a BSNYC/RTMS/WCRM action figure complete with big dummy, the empire state courier with interchangable cockpitways and of course the trusty sidekick vito. Both full size with the fuzzy brown hair like the GI Joe from the 70's.

Nogocyclist said...

mikeweb, Thank you for the congratulations. I was actually trying to post the last comment, but everyone else was late today.

Anonymous 1:13, Us old fogeys love talking about the younger generations. Our parents had the hippies, and other generations had their own groups to talk about. Please, don't cheat us out of our hard earned right of being crotchety old men. Let us complain about hipsters. The hipsters will have their chance in the years to come to return the favor to the next generations.

Now is our time, and Snob is the best of the best!

Paul Bowen said...

@crosspalms: Eban E. & Ivory, hats off!

Paul Bowen said...

@Ether, great to know we're still recognised as world class at something, and people will always need swearing I guess. And you're right, have to give the Scots best in this area, the crazy ginger transvestites.

Kenny Banya said...

You can't make fun of me, because I'm FAST!

"Who is "Eban""...GOLD!

Crazy Ginger Transvestive said...

Eff You Paul Bowen!

vegan salmon? said...

has it not always been the case that the processes of social taxonomy require readaptation of the genus' game plan? it's as if a former grunge-ista had decided to take action against the theory that americans don't understand irony by choosing to ignore mainstream capitalism in favour of an alternative stupidity that eschews authentic expensive crap over the standard crap that most of us have to put up with. they turned cycling into a culture and language into noise. long may wildcat rock machine's blogway continue to hammer the thoughts and actions of these feckless half-bakes...in whatever form they take.

Bob Fike said...

THat's such effing bullshit.

Where's Trapper John? Colonel Blake?
Fr. Mulcahey? RADAR?!

J Scott. Cum MASH me. said...

HIPS TMAD

MASH HOLE

GETF UCKT

Where is MR KENNY BANYA today? Did he have a mechanical and get dropped?

Bikewritercat said...

If hipster is hip no longer, perhaps one of the following deserves closer study:

Abtrainer
Anklebiter
Fingerflexer
Foreheadist
Headplanter
Kneebender
Knucklediva
Neckturner
Pecidillie
Shoulderholder

Or, if epithets must be two-syllables, consider the proper use and disposal of lawyers and bankers.

J Scott. Cum MASH me. said...

KENNY.

You gout me by four posts. And I was about to get worried.

Kenny Banya said...

Thanks J. Scott, been laying low until this clenbuterol gets down.

"...gout me by four posts." ha ha gold.

Anonymous said...

"I truly enjoy the way the hipster tag seems to burrow its way into the skin of those who try so hard to believe it does not apply."

You've got my number. Decades ago I worked as a messenger and lived in a shitty neighborhood.I've got some faded tattoo work from the era. That said, I don't own a fixie, wear a Chrome bag or talk about how things were "back in the day." And unlike the rest of you bozos, I knew who Crass were before I read about them in a cycling blog.

Sound familiar? Writing ability aside, I'm the same demographic as you-know-who. I think it puts me in pretty good position to make the the call.

I usually found the column's criticisms spot on and fairly entertaining. This week we're reveling in schadenfreude over bike thefts, shop break-ins and home invasions. If the victims are unappealing it's funny, right?

Finally, on the word "hipster." While making any criticism, no matter how well reasoned can mark one a "hater," its antithesis has go to be "Hipster." I suppose at one time it was intended to apply to a suburban kids seeking urban credibility. Now it's used as a term of dismissal towards anyone how has any interests perceived as esoteric.This includes going to museums, seeing living music or reading a book.
Much like the phrase "alternative music." It doesn't mean anything. At its most innocuous it makes one sound ignorant, while at its worse it contributes to idiocy in general.
I think that pretty much covers it. I'll just sign off by observing that punk died when we stopped getting beat up for it.
Toodles-
Anon 1:37

crosspalms said...

Can't speak for the rest of the bozos, but this one still doesn't know who Crass are/is. Do/does it/they play living music?

Etherhuffer said...

Shadenfreude. Achtung! If there was a lot of it about the kids getting robbed, well, its sad but its not unexpected. It is probably too callous to point out that when I lived a bad part of West Oakland as a Cal student, I didn't own anything that I wasn't prepared to lose. If you couldn't afford garbage service you could put a padlock on the dumpster and it would get stolen.


Those kids got a hard but useful lesson in life about how other people view property. They may now be less trusting people but they will be smarter in the future.

Anonymous said...

“I’m like a salmon, just finding my way up the river, flowing through any open holes I can find,” Horner said. “That’s all I’m doing all day, and then hoping nobody crashes in front of me.”

Didn't know Horner was from NYC.

crosspalms said...

And now, TdF for the little guy

ryan said...

there's no irony in wearing burglar clothes during a burglary, so i can see why that faux pas was avoided. nothing is more ironic than hipster stealing from an iconic establishment of their own culture. so in that sense, they were just keepin' it real, yo.

Anonymous said...

"Finally, on the word "hipster." While making any criticism, no matter how well reasoned can mark one..."

It's just a word- like douche bag or asshole- or any number of words you are inviting upon yourself. I'm in the same demographic too, love live music (caught a great one at the independent last night), love basking in visual art at galleries and so forth- except dipshit hipsters like yourself actually believe that what you are interested in IS esoteric. You're all trying so godamned hard to be unique that you erase anything unique right out of yourselves. That's why, when wildcat snob machine calls you out for your jejune pursuits, we all relate! "oh, I know one of those idiots too". lighten the fuck up.

oh, and i just want to point out how every one of you butt-hurt dumbasses who complain about how you are treated in a satirical blog always says something to the effect of "i thought this blog was funny until it was about me". really?

We all do stupid shit- lighten the fuck up.

Anonymous said...

and also lighten up the fuck

Anonymous said...

What a bunch of hipsters on the Rwandan cycling team.

luciferyellow said...

@ crosspalms: Crass were a British punk band formed in 1977. They got beat up for being punk and then they died, I think.

Anonymous said...

RE: Stevil, DFL
"I and most bike racers have no respect for people who regularly do stupid and illegal things."

See Eben? You see? All of that talent and you're whoring it out to Freds.

bikesgonewild said...

...so what - signed, cool in sf...

wishiwasmerckx said...

You know what they say about when you have nothing substantive to add to the conversation:

100th, Bitches...

Anonymous said...

I missed the time cut.

Anonymous said...

crazy - maybe....who's asking?
ginger - yes
transvestite - no

Ya big English jobby, you.....(!)*

And ok is what you're due your dealer.

There are hipsters here, too.
They're funny.

hey nonny mouse

*sorry, old chap...and...other words (like keech) are available.

bikesgonewild said...

...wison pickett said it best...

..."Got to have a hundred!
Oh! Got to have a hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hundred, 'cuz...

...Ninety-nine and a half just won't do."
...

...he was just sayin'...

John said...

@Anon 6:37 - most Freds I know are nice people. I'll take that moniker and wear it with pride. Self-important, entitled, salmoning, sidewalk-scorching, pedestrian-terrorizing, red light running assholes are assholes.

g said...

Didn't the dad on Heathers say,
"I Love my Fred gay son?"

Or maybe it was something like that.

yogisurf said...

I'm freaked that the bike rental dude can see into souls....

Jasper said...

Touchy little hipsters today. Press a few more buttons Paul B - we can start by calling them all wankers. I was into them before you were even born, so there.

Marcel Da Chump said...

I asked a bike messenger,

"where are you from?"

"Brooklyn", he answered, and with pride.

"You're not from Brooklyn", I told him. Again I asked, "where are you from?"

"South Jersey", he said, a bit apologetically.

Hipster?

crosspalms said...

Lovely night for a ride home in Chicago. So to every Fred, Wilma, Barney and Cat 6er who passed me (and 95% were polite), a hearty thanks. By the time I got home my clock was so clean you could eat off it.

Anonymous said...

I want to know Anonymous 6:01's name so I can name my first-born child after them...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anon 1:37pm,

All very fair. By way of clarifying, the last thing I'll say is that like any term I use on this blog ("roadies," "Freds," what have you) "hipster" mostly serves as a caricature. These "types" all exist, but I hyperbolize or oversimplify them for comic effect. (Not always successfully, but I do my best.)

To my mind the "hipster" caricature is not someone with "esoteric" interests who like "going to museums, seeing living music or reading a book." If anything it's the opposite--the superficial image-obsessed consumer of pre-packaged authenticity. It's a type still very much on display, especially in the cycling world, and I continue to be stunned and amused by it. If anything I make fun of it so much because I yearn for actual esoterica.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

g said...

"Anonymous said...

and also lighten up the fuck

July 7, 2011 6:02 PM"

Just for paraphrasing.

Anonymous said...

Social contract panties!

Anonymous said...

Panties frontwards!

Anonymous said...

heh. he said jejune.

Tipzzz said...

Dear Wildcat Snob Machine 9:22 pm

Lighten up, eh, bro!

no need to go smashing down that fourth wall just to appease ol' 1:37. jeesh.

Much love,

Tipz

Danny said...

I just now got around to reading this today - I'm a high school mountain racer in NorCal, and an avid reader of BSNYC.

Just wanted to say thanks for the support - it really means a lot.

pebes said...

Anon 8:53

you can call him Pebes.

Anonymous said...

@ wildcat rock machine 9:22

Hugs all around.

yours-
Anon 1:37

Anonymous said...

Who is Eban? The anti-perspirant version of BikeSnob NYC.
Eben I know that much.

Anonymous said...

okay i'm sorry for cumming in my legging by the sight of you, then later falling on the rail tracks. being such a kook. i couldn't stand there a fill out the rental waver let alone ride the rental bike. yes i'm weird but i'm meant to be that way right? oh right i'll leave this alone

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Velotex said...

I surely do not condone stealing - but you have to applaud these guys for stealing their bicycling gear , using their bikes as the "getaway vehicle "! I think its brilliant. Irony remains KING! Great article!

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