Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Winning by a Nose: Of Competition and Virility

Further to yesterday's post, one commenter was irate that I did not treat the Red Hook Crit or its participants with sufficient reverence:

Anonymous said...

Funny, it's obvious none of you actually know anything about the red hook crit, and the level of competion this event brings. A few pro racers several cat 1, 2 ,3 racers. (plain english translation, cuase im sure most of you dont even know what that means, these dudes race and are good enough to progressed up the ranks) So to say this event is a joke, clearly highlights your ignorance.

At least this guy raced in it, I was there and it was cold, anyone who has the balls to race in those conditions deserves to describe the event as not being hipster or what whatever else they want.
Top ten or whatever, give the guy a break, he's obviously passionate about racing, and if any of you are true sportsman, or have any passion for anything you should be encouraging his passion not talking shit.

June 27, 2011 10:49 PM


I think most readers of this blog not only understand but also appreciate the Red Hook Crit. Indeed, I'm a fan of the Red Hook Crit and I even told the "media" as much when they asked--though in the end they decided to misquote me. I also think most readers of this blog understand and appreciate being passionate about cycling, as it is a feeling most of us have in common. It's certainly why I dictate this blog to my helper monkey everyday, and it's most likely why you're reading it right now instead of checking out cheese porn.

Nevertheless, I'd also argue that it's important to keep certain things in perspective. For example, the Red Hook Crit is a great event, but let's not get too carried away with the level of competition. Sure it boasts "a few pro racers" as well as "several cat 1, 2 ,3 racers," but so does any given weekend race in Prospect Park. (Even if some of them are getting suspended for doping.)

Also, yes, it goes without saying that we all encourage Cinelli hat guy's passion for cycling. However, at the same time, some of us are not quite convinced that his decision to partake in a bicycle race (even though "it was cold") warrants making him one of the subjects of a Bud Greenspan-esque documentary film. I say this as someone who has partookened in many a cold bicycle race, and who knows that recreation is recreation no matter what the thermometer says. (And it usually says, "You're an idiot. Go back to bed.")

Most importantly, when you enter a race there is no guarantee of glory. You may win, you may get lapped 15 times, or you may wind up having to peel your face from the asphalt. If Cinelli hat guy is a "true sportsman," he knows this. If he is not, he will figure it out sooner or later. Similarly, when you are one of the subjects of a Greenspan-esque documentary film, there is no guarantee that your efforts will be lauded. Whether it's a race or a film, the only way to guarantee a result is to not participate in the first place. This is the essence of both competition and personal expression. We are not required to be moved by the "Racing Towards Red Hook" video, for it is as subject to commendation or derision as any creative work.

So why is maintaining this perspective important? Because without it, our innate human inanity knows no bounds. Most of us have fancied ourselves cycling heroes at one time or another, and we know the perils of this behavior all too well. It's what compels 20-something freelancers to spend a thousand dollars on Hed 3 front wheels for their track bikes while foregoing health insurance. It's why your local Cat 4 field is riding more exotic bikes than most Pro Tour teams. It's why riders pushing 30 are on doping programs so they can dominate amateur races.

It's tempting to say that there's a fine line between dedication and delusion, but when it comes to cycling, I'd argue that dedication doesn't exist and that there are only degrees of delusion that can be measured in dollar signs. And to expect congratulations simply for entertaining this delusion is, in itself, delusional.

So if making jokes about treating the Red Hook Crit like Paris Roubaix is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Because, frankly, the alternative (which is actually taking bike racing seriously) is just too fucking expensive.

Speaking of documentary films, another subject that may or may not be worthy of documenting is Critical Mass in New York City. As you most likely know, "Critical Mass is a leaderless group bicycle ride that takes place in over 300 cities around the world, typically on the last Friday of every month." However, Critical Mass documentaries do have leaders. These leaders are called "directors," and this one wants us to give him $25,000:


"I have a right to ride in the street! On my bike! I don't need any government permission!," shouts one Critical Masser in the trailer, and this is exactly why I think New York City's Critical Mass warrants a documentary. Indeed, we don't need any government permission to ride our bikes in the streets, but thanks to Critical Mass we probably will soon. Between the crackdowns and the parade rule and the constant attempts to institute bicycle registration laws that have arisen since Critical Mass began, it's only a matter of time before it succeeds in its goal of making the simple act cycling not only politically charged but also completely illegal.

But while I do believe that one of the most ass-backward political movements in recent years does warrant a documentary, I'm not so sure we should have to pay for it--especially when you consider the dicrector's background:

In 2004 New York City's Critical Mass bicycle ride was labeled a "protest" and the police began an uncommonly aggressive campaign of mass arrests of bicyclists. Chris ( the Director ) was caught up in the first wave of arrests and has continued filming Critical Mass rides, while following relevant court cases and documenting other cyclists' personal experiences.

Didn't those people who got arrested win a big fat settlement? It seems to me he should be in a pretty good position to fund the movie himself. Then again, you can't really put a price on watching people raise pennyfarthings in defiance:

Actually, you can, and it's apparently 25 grand. I think NYC Critical Mass may be the Red Hook Crit of protest rides.

Yes, cyclists in New York City are under unrelenting political pressure. Meanwhile, the police (at least those who ride bikes while on patrol) are evidently under unrelenting groinal pressure, which is why some doctor is touting noseless saddles:


Case in point, an officer who switched to a noseless saddle and now has longer "night boners:"

During his sleep, when he wore a monitor, the measure known as “percent of time erect” increased to 28 percent from 18 percent.

It's hard to think of when a longer erection would be of less use to you than when you're sound asleep and you can't even use the thing. Spending more time erect while you're unconscious is like having a slightly more aerodynamic sofa. In theory I suppose it's better, but in practice, so what?

Speaking of meaningless measurements, here's another one:

“There’s as much penis inside the body as outside,” Dr. Schrader told me. “When you sit on a regular bike saddle, you’re sitting on your penis.”

If you're a man, next time someone's unimpressed with your endowment, just try telling them that half your penis is inside your body and that it's actually twice as long as it looks. Then throw in the part about how you have magnificent erections of "epic" duration while you're snoring and drooling all over your pillow and you'll have your pick of anybody at the bar.

Of course, the biggest problem with this whole noseless saddle data is that the testing was done on police, so while it may be relevant to them it's not necessarily applicable to the rest of us and how we ride. Anyway, I'll be impressed when this Dr. Schrader does one of his boner tests on cops who ride recumbents:



Perhaps he can finally break the elusive 100% night erection barrier.

I would like to see a noseless Brooks though.

Lastly, I was very pleased to hear from a reader recently who was fortunate enough to meet the famous Lone Wolf. As he describes it:

I met the Lone Wolf today at the Manhattan Beach Grand Prix. I turned around from the race and there he was! "Lone Wolf" I blurted out. He laughed deep and wise. The laugh of one who is in fact THE Lone Wolf. "You are one of my heroes" I went on. He looked me right in the eyes and said "You are a hero." He set his wheels straight, and posed for this picture. His wolf powers conjured two podium girls in red as I snapped this image.

Wisdom from the Wolf: stay hydrated.
He is really a very nice guy.



Humility, good humor, and a saddle with a nose. He's nothing short of the cycling ideal.

126 comments:

specq said...

speaking of competition...

specq said...

or virility, for that matter...

dcdouglas said...

top three?

Anonymous said...

Top five suckas!

Anonymous said...

it was the tailwind

Anonymous said...

moin!

samh said...

Will someone from Minneapolis... err, Portland East I mean please tell yesterday's Anonymous commenter that the Red Hook Crit couldn't POSSIBLY have been cold. S/He obviously doesn't know what cold is.

Anonymous said...

moving up in the standings

cycle

Anonymous said...

"Spending more time erect while you're unconscious is like having a slightly more aerodynamic sofa."

Classic!

THANK YOU Mr. Snob!!

Prolly peloton fodder for reading...alas.

Charles said...

Last 1 in the top ten!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Interesting post today Snob.

Anonymous said...

I raise my penny farthing to thee, snob!

yogisurf said...

Top 11!

Anonymous said...

Vaginal Hygiene Apparatus!!

Kurt Jensen said...

Okay, I know it's petty but WHY are recumbent trikes so frequently referred to as recumbent bikes, the "Cops on Recumbent Bikes" being only the most recent example I've seen. I understand that anyone can get an easy laugh by referencing anything recumbent, but how hard it is to differentiate between two and three wheels?

I Go Around and Around said...

Claritin D 24 hour gets me into the top 20? 25?

"It's what compels 20-something freelancers to spend a thousand dollars on Hed 3 front wheels for their track bikes while foregoing health insurance."

No truer words will be spoken today I'll warrant.

Keep the criticism flowing Mr. Snob!

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Buffalo Bill said...

Did you read the description of the bonometer the guy used to collect those statistics? Talk about a dedication to science.

I Go Around and Around said...

I thought the whole problem with cops was that they are generally pretty fat. Lose a couple 20 pounds and maybe you won't squash your dick when you sit on it, you know?

Chazu said...

The sun went down and it was SO VERY COLD in the massive heat sink known as NYC.

Kenny Banya said...

"So if making jokes about treating the Red Hook Crit like Paris Roubaix is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Because, frankly, the alternative (which is actually taking bike racing seriously) is just too fucking expensive."

Gold Snobby, GOLD!

3G said...

Gonna be some sweet sounds
Comin' down
On the night boner

Man that had me rolling. A+

Anonymous said...

LONE WOLF

Sharon said...

As a Minnesotan, I LOL'd at "It was cold." I wonder if we'll see articles saying, "Hipsters discover cold weather!"

Charlie Didrickson said...

On yer left...

grog said...

GOLD SNOB
RECM BABE
AERO SOFA

Visited my library, found one copy of your book, checked the back, and there were 4 stickers still in place! Gack. What should I do?

Anonymous said...

We cyclists are a delusional bunch aren't we?

Oh well, it's a harmless fantasy I suppose.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

crosspalms said...

I've never heard my thermometer say that, but my wife happily translates for me. Sometimes she also hears it say "You're an idiot. Take the bus."

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Had to go read the times piece by the good Dr. The wedgie seat conundrum! -seems that horse ain't dead yet.

Ive never had any adverse reactions to traditional bike seats in my 30 years of riding and I don't have any condition that restricts me to recumbent riding.

That being said, I recently rode a metric century on my bent. Nice ride and I could even sit down after I was done. Diamond frames had a good run and they will be around probably forever due to their inherent simplicity (especially useful in short urban commuting situations) but I predict that bents will slow but sure become mainstream as the stigma wears away and more cyclist realize that although maybe not a better way but definately a more comfortable way.

Laugh all you want but the bonometer don't lie!

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Marcel Da Chump said...

'empty prayer, empty mouths, talk about the passion

not everyone can carry the weight of the world
not everyone can carry the weight of the world

talk about the passion
talk about the passion'

A. Weiner said...

NITE BONR

g-roc said...

Lone Wolf! One of the few people I'd be impressed to meet. Jealous of all that hair.

Anonymous said...

If you can't ignore the haters, at least humiliate them. Please.


balls

Fergie said...

HA! That's me raising the P-Far! The same one snobby rode at his book signing in DUMBO. As much as I would love to say that a fat settlment check has been keeping me flush with new P-Far accessories, that ain't the case. My friends and I were arrested before the RNC, went through Pier 57, the Tombs, mug-shots and fingerprinting, bikes impounded for weeks, and almost a year of court appearances. The charges against me were finally dropped, and I joined a class action lawsuit, but never got shit. The million dollar payout was for after-RNC arrests. Critical Mass has it's problems, but blaming rides for the City cracking down on cyclists when the city used to support and even promote the ride (Bike Summer 2003) isn't right.

Fergie said...

PS
"Then again, you can't really put a price on watching people raise pennyfarthings in defiance:"

For you Snobby?
$5

hillbilly said...

great stuff...was wondering if you were gonna mention Lisban

hillbilly said...

im racing floyd tonight. should be hot. MOVIE PLEASE!

Travis said...

I was impresta with what Dr. Schrader had to say.

Grump said...

The difference between delusion and dedication is a little like the difference between insanity and being just a little nuts. I've been doing this for 25 years, and I can count all my podium finishes on both hands

I shoulda taken up bowling.

Chris said...

I think at this point we all need to see a Greenspan-esque Bike Snob NYC documentary.

crosspalms said...

I think I need $25,000 to make a documentary about me riding to the grocery, shopping, arranging stuff in panniers and then riding home. Want excitement? I'll tell the story about the time the fennel bounced out onto the street and a cabbie waved me over to let me know.

Jasper said...

Hooray to Marcel Dushanbe for the gratuitous REM lyrics, from the time when they made interesting records.

the bike dork said...

Hey Snob,
Thanks for featuring my Lone Wolf encounter on your blog. You are right, A little humility goes a long way. In fact, I think humility and a sense of humor are the mighty smugness killers.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Chris,

I blog in the cold. Oh yes. This ain't no hipster shit.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

J Scott. Boner denied, said...

WOLF LONE

BBBICI said...

Cops have dicks? They ARE dicks.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Kurt, counting the wheels on a recumbant is a lot like dragging your sofa to the wind tunnel for aero testing. In the end, who gives a shit about your results?

Anonymous said...

28% to 18%? that's a lot of night boner down the seat tube.

boners before bikes. saddle noses are like cigarettes for your junk.

Anonymous said...

Aren't brakes and the ability to coast central to success and safety in a crit? USAC doesn't sanction this because it's insane.

Anonymous said...

OK. A simple search reveals that the opening quote used in the Critical Mass documentary pitch video is referring to a CAR.

Full quote from the movie Transformers: "A driver don't pick the cars. Mmm-mm. Cars pick the driver. It's a mystical bond between man and machine."

Speaks for itself... Idiot.

Anonymous said...

"Humility, good humor, and a saddle with a nose. He's nothing short of the cycling ideal."

He also looks like the next lead singer for Van Halen.

ringcycles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ringcycles said...

BSNYC: the first half of your post was the most sincere critique of amatuer racer's attitude I've read in a while. Each year a fresh crop of neo-Freds bloom, believing that their months old obsession with cycling entitles them to be taken seriously and/or results in races. Typically a few bouts of road rash either strips the naive attitude away, or drives them out of the sport.

the bike dork has it right; humility and a sense of humor are smugness killers, especially in this painfully cruel sport.

My other favorite bike blog, Red Kite Prayer, has a good post titled The Frame Pump. The post ends by describing the unassuming attitudes of the best amateur cyclists:
"That nonchalance came from a place I learned to revere. They were casual not because they were cool, but because humility permitted nothing like pride. The student of cycling knows that speed isn’t made in a single day, but after months of repetition."

Udder said...

I need $50,000. I'm going to make a film about a race for straight bar road bikes.

... said...

"If you're a man, next time someone's unimpressed with your endowment, just try telling them that half your penis is inside your body and that it's actually twice as long as it looks. Then throw in the part about how you have magnificent erections of "epic" duration while you're snoring and drooling all over your pillow and you'll have your pick of anybody at the bar."


LOL

Marcel Da Chump said...

Jasper,
In light of that Anon commenter's questioning of the BSNYC readers' passion for all things cycling, I think those lyrics are quite apropos.
I totally agree with your assessment of REM's career arc.

burkey said...

Dearest Wildcat,
Have you considered the possibility that Cinelli hat dude is actually the subject of a Cheryl Crow song from a parallel, yet non hipster, universe? In much the same way that Tom Hanks fumbles through the Davinci code, I too fumble through lame comparisons for your edification.
I could point these out more eloquently however it’s a blog comment not a blog so be thankful for the brevity.
1) This aint no hipster shit. True, equally it aint no country club either. However it’s not LA, its NY further adding to the parallelax theorem.
2) He is universally credited as Cinelli hat dude, but perhaps if you looked in his overpriced / vintage / ironic styled wallet his ID would say William. But I’m sure its Bill, Billy, Mack or even Buddy.
3) So, give him a break, all he wants to do is race a little redhook before he dies, says ME in a random post out of nowhere.
I have to go now, it’s 5am here, cold and I need to ride my bike badly in a bunch ride.
Kind regards
The T1000

g said...

All I know is any time I have as much penis inside my body as out, that's a bad, bad day.

Anonymous said...

On Mar 26 2011 in Red Hook, it was 41F for the high with 8 mph of wind. Frigging brutal, man. I had to wear my windproof Rapha skinny jeans that day.

Anonymous said...

So... a few domestic pro roadies (read: I have to drive myself to races) show up to an event legitimizes the event? I've been to enough SSWC events to know that even though Travis Brown, etc. shows up and crushes the field it is most definitely not anything but a huge party. Selah.

Anonymous said...

"There's as much penis inside the body as outside..."

Yeah, in your ass.

kfg said...

I'm over 50, bearded and riding a Rivendell fixie with platform pedals, in sandals.

Is the dream really over?

Myron LaDouche' D.D.S. said...

So I spend $14,000 on a carbon road bike and it doesn't even come with a friggin kickstand. I mean really! What would is cost to include a full carbon kick stand. With a ceramic bearing of course.

100% Uptime said...

NITE BONR

pele NY cosmos comin atcha said...

common, with a good set of gloves, and ear protection, any temperature above 20F should be quite manageable even with just a couple layers. Your body will be generating so much heat within 5 minutes on the bike that the you actually become hot and start to sweat if you have to many clothes on in the winter. 41F is cake brother. Stop taking the bus if its winter.

Bill Smith said...

Word score: critical: 10, cycling: 6, documentary: 5, police: 3, hipster: 0.

murphstahoe said...

MC Spandex has morphed to MC Allez and curated a new piece

PK said...

@samh- Portland is just the name of a city in MPLS and yes, our last snowfall was in May, AYHSMB.

BikeTode said...

Actually, Portland is the name of an avenue in MPLS. And thank you so much, Wildcat Rock Machine, for hooking me on cheese porn...

Angelina said...

When I read the article on nose-less saddles elsewhere I knew they were asking for biting critique from Sir Snob.
You didn't disappoint.
I thought it was amusing that they didn't include an image of said saddle and that someone considered that a person riding a pink water bottle was more appropriate!
Until this artcle I'd always thought noseless saddles were not actually real. Given lack of image, I'm still doubting!
There is still hope!

Trailer Park Cyclist said...

Tune In Next Week when the Lone Wolf and his witty sidekick Wildcat Rock Machine take on the Red Hook Crips in the Adventure of the Missing Half!

Parental Guidance Advised

OBA said...

RE: "Noseless" Brooks -- pretty close here;

http://www.brooksengland.com/en/Shop_ProductPage.aspx?cat=saddles+-+touring+%26+trekking&prod=B17+Imperial

and here:

http://www.selleanatomica.com/

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I vote for a BSNYC documentary asap! Mos def.

Anonymous said...

Angelina has a cute profile picture and can spell and punctuate.

The sexual harassment begins in 5...4...3...2...1.

She will be run off the comment board in 5...4...3...2...1.

Fred said...

How does one ride "on the rivet" on a noseless saddle?

Or does the term refer to a saddle that isn't smelly? I'm so confused. I wish a self-important, anonymous commenter would help set me right on this stuff.

crosspalms said...

@angelina,
Here's a noseless saddle, though I don't know if it's the one those guys are using.

crosspalms said...

@Fred
I think you have to supply your own rivet, easily accomplished by riding in jeans

Anonymous said...

You see my reflections in saddle, crotchal mirror?

Visually noseless:
http://www.ismseat.com/products_racing.htm

Knot nose, snot nose, SNOB nose, snub nose

Drafts of Freud and Lacan, eat your hearts out!

Great Post RTMS. SUNY must recognize hammering

Friendo said...

DERI SION
DELU SION
DEFI ANCE
NOSE LESS
BONR TEST

douche said...

Critical mass is the Al Quaeda of cyclist rights advancement. They do more to create the situation against which they fight than the problem faced to begin with - which is angry motorists and unsympathetic politicians.

Anonymous said...

Special bonus: today's advert features a gentleman with underwear on his face, and his nose in a cage

Footballers also PAD THEIR LEADS

Stick that in your Contador

bikesgonewild said...

...thanks to the good doctor, i'm sporting a 'critical mast'...

...just sayin'...

David said...

People who take themselves seriously or insist that others do so are usually on the verge of making asses of themselves (if they haven't already done so), and often they don't even know it. Satirize on, Snob! Seriously!

Anonymous said...

Yeah! Asses with half their cocks in them!

cRyan said...

Now, as if anyone should have to defend the paltry amount of money we have deemed as the goal for creating a piece that gets the proper and professional attention we feel the subject matter deserves, aka to not make the resulting piece the flippant sounding board of surface level, occasionally clever, rarely accountable, questionably insightful ramblings of a complete idiot, in this case, myself, we are going to need some funds. I have personally already invested more than I'd like to admit in time, resources, and cold hard grocery and cat food money already, but I am in a position now where I am recognizing the basic investment needed to bring this slowly simmering pot of water to the point where there is an actual meal to be placed down in front of the vocal minority of snobbists so we take our lashes once again. Naively hoping once again that perhaps this time, in cinematic form, it won't be the case, but soldiering on, because we are going to keep on keeping on either way.

The majority of your focus, the concept that the money goes to me, is about as inaccurate as the fact that apparently any of it will come from you. I will most optimistically be the vessel through which it flows, and last to receive a glass. Though you snob'propiately feel entitled to sit back and wait for the resulting film's existence so you can comment on it in the future, oblivious to the man/woman hours it will take, along with work space and equipment overheads needed to actually go through hundreds of hours of footage while generating more materials as the journey reveals is required, this my naive typist, doesn't just happens magically. It will not be a table book deal acquiring hobby snuck in on the dime of whoever employs an anonymous alleged creator of inaccurate content, it will be an endeavor that actually creates jobs and spreads some money out to artists and craftsmen who are already willing to be on board either way, but who will, like myself have a more appropriate priority of focus if they can call this project their job for a few months, instead of their spare time siphoning surface level output of triteness.

That all said, love your blog. Thanks for the shout out, remind everyone GIVE GENEROUSLY! KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN ENDS FRIDAY!

-Christopher J. Ryan
creator of jobs
'merica

PS. I was wearing a flag pin on my lapel when i wrote this, so don't ever question me again MOTHER FUCKER.

http://kck.st/gbuLqM

cwg said...

Is he holding that young girl's hand? That lone wolf is an animal! The real cycling ideal is a cat 4 lawyer well past 30 with 14 lb Felt with no time for young hotties.

I am a critical engine said...

"People who take themselves seriously or insist that others do so are usually on the verge of making asses of themselves (if they haven't already done so), and often they don't even know it. Satirize on, Snob! Seriously!"

Was just one comment to high, I just felt it needed to be here after douche bag spewed forth at the mouth.

Rumi said...

Critical Maast-o-khiar

bikesgonewild said...

...@cryan...

...you managed to ramble through "blah, blah, blah" & lose most of us in the process...

...the only relevancy served by critical mass in this day & age is when it is in a city that has never experienced it...

...as it stands in cities like new york & san francisco, it does nothing but foment ill will...

...anyone who thinks it raises awareness of cycling in major cities these days is clue nada...wanna raise cycling awareness ???...teach people to ride responsibly...

...then find a different way of making motorists aware of how vulnerable we, as cyclists are...clogging the streets with critical mass is not the way...

wishiwasmerckx said...

cRyan: TLDNR. That wasn't a comment, it was a manifesto.

Jefe said...

In the six months since I moved from Albany to Houston (also known as the un-Portland), I have not posted any comments, but the NY Times article on "noseless" seats was too good. I think you should have devoted a whole column to it. How did that opinion piece find its way into the Science section? Cops get put on bike patrol because their superiors want them to lose weight. Fat, middle-aged men are going to have trouble with impotence. More important, the reason anyone's genitals go numb on a bike is because the bike does not fit them properly, regardless of whether it has a nose, a cut-out, or goose down filling.

Anonymous said...

C. Ryan sounds like such a big fat idiot, I wouldn't bother to watch his movie for free, much less give him money.

Panties!

Anonymous said...

Cat food money!?!?!? LMAO!

ringcycles said...

I confess, one of my teammates has an ISM "noseless" saddle on his TT bike. He swears by it. But it looks so much like a labia than even Cipollini would blush mounting it. Then again, that could explain the 50% increase in erectile function.

ringcycles said...

cryan: it takes a similar amount of time, resources, and cold hard grocery money to make both pate' and cat shit. I thank Lob that BSNYC can so adroitly tell us which is which.

Marcel Da Chump said...

C.Ryan,
I understand your passion for cycling in the capital of the world. It's amazing. I've done it for over thirty years. But as long as there's a chance a critical mass ride might delay an ambulance or a fire truck by a few seconds, then I can't support your film.
I have first-hand experience with the importance of ambulances, fire trucks; yes, and even, cop cars.
Call me naive if you think I don't make sense ,or a MOFO ( a bad MOFO).

g-roc said...

What's with the people who keep posting their blogs in the comments section? Seriously, gives me a whole new appreciation for Twitter. (Did I go over 140?)

crosspalms said...

Every once in a while on my ride home, I see more people than usual riding in the other direction. Mostly helmetless, mostly young. Must be a nice day, I think, then realize it's last Friday of the month and they're headed downtown (Chicago). Whatever purpose it served, now it just pisses people off, even someone like me who loves to ride and loves to see other people riding. Maybe they should call it Critical Masshole -- not for the individuals, but for the mass behavior. I've seen the same thing on centuries, where otherwise careful cyclists (I hope) ride 10 abreast and run lights. An hour later and people are generally more sensible, but that first hour sees a lot of goofball stuff.

Vegas said...

Hey movie(NOT film)maker, you really are a pompous ass. Thanks for coming on and eliminating any doubt there may have been. No one wants to hear your bItchan and cRyan.

BS didn't say the $25K was going to you, he said it was a fucking waste of money, which it is, and that we (or anyone) shouldn't have to pay for it up front. Lots of movies get made without begging for $10 bucks at a time on a panhandling website. And just because a camera guy and a boom guy will take a temporary job from you doesn't make it a good job, or a good movie, or you a good person. It just means that unemployment is high and people will suffer through a lot to get food on their plates.

The amount of time, energy and money You spend making a pile of shit doesn't make it a less smelly pile of shit, and certainly doesn't preclude anyone, including and especially BS, from calling it what it is and the rest of us from laughing at his scathing rebuke and at you.

BTW critical engine way to recognize.

leroy said...

100?

The NY Times publishes a piece on cycling and erectile dysfunction and the WSJ goes with a piece on "intensive cycling" and infertility.

My dog has been making snide comments all day.

So I pointed out that no matter what he rides, he's always riding fixed.

He told me to go hump my leg.

Sometimes he's so immature.

Anonymous said...

All I'm saying is, in the future, I hope we can all speak in "plain English translation". Cause imagine the progressed? Just sayin.

Doug said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doug said...

Take two, this time without the link mysteriously deleted.
OK, I know I shouldn't..but check this out... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn0FF1KwL4I
this guy has a nose on his saddle!
Like Jefe said, those folks who are overweight and try to ride bikes seem to be the ones who worry about erectile dysfunction.

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

g-roc, I certainly don't have any excuse for the reams of stupid crap I've written here as an unannounced blog sucker, but I think you may have gone off half cocked if you're suggesting cRyan has exceeded reasonable air time for right of reply to Snob's post.

cRyan's comment is a bit hard to follow at the start, but it seems to be written in good humour, all things considered. Regardless of my own thoughts on an issue, in this forum I generally prefer reading light hearted comments than comments where tongue in cheek or an attempt at wit isn't detectable. Lately, there's been a lot of serious sounding commenters jumping on Snob's sagwagon (like a bandwagon, only with cyclists). I can handle being a blog sucker just so long as I can stay off that sagwagon!

Anyway, this comment was mainly just an excuse to work in the phrase: "half cocked".

HALF COCK

Anonymous said...

Is the lone wolf the most awesome guy in the world? When are we going to read an interview with him, and hear the story of that awesome bike.

ce said...

Yes

Anonymous said...

The cryan guy - how much do we have to give to make him go away?

cycle

Cold Chicks in Hot Gravy said...

From what I understand, the TDF was started as a ridiculous event, a true spectacle / circus of people riding bikes in opposition of the industrial revolution that was going on all around them. It doesn't matter how awesome the event is, it's actually ridiculous. Bikes are just basic and simple transportation, and racing them is like being a bear on a unicycle.
That being said, I love bike racing and I wish I was pro.

Anonymous said...

In regards to Critical Mass and emergency vehicles, my experience in San Francisco has been that the mass always moves to the side and makes way for them. (I can see how in the crowded streets of NYC this could be a much bigger problem, however.)

Pink Lobster said...

In my town the Critical Massholes are really obnoxious. They flaunt traffic rules and openly run down pedestrians in crosswalks, yelling obscenities at you if you don't jump out of their way, I'm not kidding, EVERY MONTH.

I have been on the receiving end of car on bike antagonism in the form of drivers throwing things at me 2 times, both times it was the day after Critical Mass in my town. (I know, anecdotal evidence is not scientific proof that Critical Mass caused those motorists to be jerks, just saying).

And I'm in Santa Cruz, which is actually already ridiculously friendly and accomodating to bikes. This is why my husband dubbed them "Critical Massholes".

Rex H said...

If I'm not mistaken, that critical mass video said "last Friday of the month" and then "7.1.11."

How many days are in a Hipster calendar month?

Anonymous said...

"Sitting on your inner penis" should be some sort of bicycle mantra or a cosmic state of being, a sutra of enlightenment not some boner test.

What about Lob? What does the cool green live shell or red boiled shell reveal about the inner penis? That you sit upon.

Anonymous said...

@Cold Chicks In Hot Gravy

"From what I understand, the TDF was ... people riding bikes in opposition of the industrial revolution ..."

Funny that, because bicycles only exist as a result of the industrial revolution. FYI there weren't many ball-bearings, wire spokes, or drive chains in pre-industrial times...

As it says here:

http://www.lowtechmagazine.com/2011/05/history-of-pedal-powered-machines.html

"... no matter how simple it seems to us today, pedal power could not have appeared earlier in history."

Anonymous said...

I'm not even sure cRyan is real... I think he may be a plant running a false flag operation for General Motors.

Bleevo said...

Woah! lone wolf lotus-bike would be great for 'cross, due to lack of down tubage for easy shoulderin'!

Anonymous said...

CM is designed to provoke reaction, usually swift and hard. CM died in Portland, when bike fun replaced it.Choose you options.. a confrontational CM ride, or groups of folks going and riding together, often a themed ride. I believe we achieved critical mass by killing it.
When over 10,000 riders gather for the WNBR and the cops cork the streets for an unpermitted ride,something has changed from 5 years earlier when you got expensive BS tickets just for being on a bike anywhere near the ride, participating or not.

Anonymous said...

Here what i found -> vision correction

kewiesterrock said...

Wow it's all are so much useful information post by you for the nose job. nose job is useful to change the shape of a nose and we can make a flexible nose over the face.

nose job

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Fixie Bikes said...

Not a fan of red hook in general.

Anonymous said...

OK, I'm the first to admit that recumbent bikes and noseless saddles look weird, or that riding a recumbent makes you look like a total dork. But I'm a lady who has been forced to give up cycling for medical reasons, and I have been getting a hard education in the realities of how the typical bike saddle can wreck havoc on the pudendal nerve (look it up) and other stuff going on "down there." (It's NOT always just a matter of poor bike fit.) My doc and physical therapist both say that my choices are (1) don't ride a bike, period; (2) try out a noseless saddle (though my PT discourages this b/c she worries about lack of control and too much weight on the wrists); or (3) ride recumbent.

My point is that it's all fine to point out how silly some of these non-traditional cycling contraptions look, but the reality is that there are some people, like me, whose choices are to never ride a bike again, look like a dork and be made fun of by jerks, or continue to exacerbate a pretty fucking horrible chronic pain condition.

If you can ride a "normal" bike pain-free, consider yourself lucky. Please don't mock or minimize the health problems that lead people to try out things like noseless saddles. It isn't all fat cops wanting to preserve their virility.

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