Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Disinformation: It's Not How Wrong You Are, It's How Wrong You Feel

Further to yesterday's post, in which I mentioned the New York Times article about randodonearing radodaneuring riding really far, a number of readers were kind enough to point out that I made an error:

Anonymous said...

Snob,

I'm misreading either the NY Times article or your blog. I thought the NY Times writer turned arouind at mile 37 and finished the 74 mile (120 kilometer) ride. You seem to be saying the writer quit.

JUNE 6, 2011 4:11 PM

Indeed it looks like I did read the article wrong, though at least one reader was unduly smug about it:

Anonymous said...

Seconding the previous commenter who pointed out that you, um, didn't actually read or understand the NYT piece. Too proud to acknowledge your mistake?

June 6, 2011 9:53 PM


I can't stress enough that I have no pride whatsoever, and I readily acknowledge that I make mistakes on a daily (if not hourly) basis. These mistakes are not limited to cycling or reading comprehension either, and scarcely a day goes by in which I don't do something stupid such as brewing coffee without actually adding the coffee, or washing my bathtub with coffee instead of Ajax. Sure, it's foolish, but these are the sorts of mistakes you make when you're under the considerable stress of not really having all that much stress in your life.

Plus, in my defense, I was merely showing the "Spokes" people the same lack of consideration and circumspection they've shown me in the past.

Still, I agree a tearful apology is warranted, so here goes:

I have not been honest with myself, my family, my constituents, my friends, my supporters, and the media. I am deeply ashamed, etc. I don't believe that I did anything here that violates any law or violates my oath, yadayadayada. However, I do maintain that I was merely shaving my chest brushing my teeth when my BlackBerry accidentally snapped this picture and Tweeted it to certain members of my constituency:

Speaking of nudity and criticism, I was also taken to task yesterday for not mentioning the World Naked Bike Ride:

Mellow Yellow said...

how dare you not mention the naked ride of epic smugness, wetness, and triple rushing!

5pm East River Park at Delancey June 11

JUNE 6, 2011 11:32 AM


For this I do not apologize. Not only have I indeed mentioned the World Naked Bike Ride recently, but I also think it's totally "grody." In fact, I think it's so grody that I'm going to Sweden this coming weekend mostly so I won't have to bear witness to the body-painted denizens of smugness who will no doubt put our cycling goodwill account in New York City even further into the red. If everybody already hates us and tries to run us down when we're fully dressed, then nudity can only hurt. If exposing yourself were a good political move, they'd be talking about Anthony Weiner for President right now instead of debating whether or not he should resign.

Then again, even cycling while fully clothed can cause you to run afoul of people's uptight sensibilities. For example, your "muffin top" might enrage the local Hasidim (or any similar group of religious retrogrouches). Or, your fleshtone saddle could evoke a certain body part, as in this photo via the proprietor of the Old Ten Speed Gallery:


Actually, I "can't say with certitude" that it's even a saddle at all:

Anyway, between my inability to read simple New York Times articles and my lack of certitude as to the above rider's genderway, it's obvious that I'm clueless--though maybe not as clueless as the "hillbomber" guy I mentioned some time ago. He actually "curates" something of an advice column, wherein he dispenses misinformation such as this:



hey emi! you're an inspirational rider for me!
i wanted to ask something, what is the different between a clincher and a tubular and what does it affect when we're riding it?

Anonymous


Thank you so much! Tubular wheels are designed for Velodrome Riding and Clinchers are designed for road riding. Tubular tires are also a lot more dangerous to ride if not properly installed. Tubular uses clue for tube tire compo and clinchers use tubes that are separate from the tire. Tubular tires always uses a much higher psi.

Yikes! That is one multifaceted glittering rhinestone of wrong. This guy is to bicycle tires as Sarah Palin is to Paul Revere. Pretty much every sentence is misinformed:

Thank you so much! Tubular wheels are designed for Velodrome Riding and Clinchers are designed for road riding.

Right. Similarly, blue helmets are designed for velodrome riding, and white helmets are designed for road riding.

Tubular tires are also a lot more dangerous to ride if not properly installed.

Actually, I'd much rather ride an improperly installed tubular than an improperly installed clincher.

Tubular uses clue for tube tire compo and clinchers use tubes that are separate from the tire.

I don't even know what this means, I think he's saying you can compost tubulars.

Tubular tires always uses a much higher psi.

Absolutely. That's why they use tubulars for cyclocross and the cobbled classics.

I think this hillbomber should branch out and start a sex advice column too:

hey emi! you're an inspirational rider for me!
how are babies made?

Anonymous

Thank you so much! Mommy and daddy go in the bedroom and jump up and down on the bed while yelling at God. Daddy comes out with no pants and drinks a beer and nine months later a baby comes out of mommy's butt.

I think that pretty much covers the broad strokes. Maybe then he could also tell me what kind of tires to install on my Segway when I compete in the World Championship of Segway polo in Folsom, CA, of which I was informed by a reader:


Segway polo may seem absurd, but it's no more so than bike polo. After all, Segway poloists play a game fit for schoolchildren on ridiculous contraptions that cost thousands of dollars:

While bike poloists play a game fit for schoolchildren on ridiculous contraptions that cost thousands of dollars:


Plus, both [gigglechortle] "sports" lend themselves well to ironic tattooing:



That chimpanzee on a Segway looks oddly like a rear derailleur.

Anyway, given the similarities between bike polo and Segway polo, it would not surprise me if practitioners of the former begin to segue into the latter as they age. I also suspect a lot of samurai are already making the transition to road cycling, as evidenced by this Craigslist post forwarded by another reader:


Road Bike in trade wanted - $500 (Seattle)
Date: 2011-06-05, 8:04AM PDT
Reply to: [deleted]

I'm after a road bike in trade for a Paul Chen Golden Oriole Katana Samurai sword. A $ 700.00 value in like new condition.


Hopefully when he finds his bike he installs some of those samurai sword-like bottle cages.

Personally, I'd like to see a bicycle with a samurai sword cockpit, but short of that this example spotted by Back Alley Bikes might have to suffice:


I'm reasonably sure that's the setup an orangutan would wind up with after a session on a Serotta fit cycle.

92 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ladies!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Top three, woohoo!

Anonymous said...

yo

Anonymous said...

Damn, caught by A. Weiner

Paul Vowen said...

Top V!

Anonymous said...

So close!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

top 10 bent.

Anonymous said...

Whoopdeedoooo

Paul Bowen said...

Is randodonearing different to audax or is it the same pursuit in a different languageway?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Paul Bowen,

I think randonneuring is the Audaxity of Hope.

Apologies,

--BSNYC

Twistyface said...

Imagine how humiliated Weiner would have been if he had tweeted a pic of himself on a Segway?

Anonymous said...

"Sure, it's foolish, but these are the sorts of mistakes you make when you're under the considerable stress of not really having all that much stress in your life."

Now, that's something that I can relate to.

Anonymous said...

You may laugh at the epic orangutanhorns, but how can you even begin to tally the owner's smugness quotient when he's portaging three other bikes on those bars?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Dirty politicians... What else is new? I'm just glad you New Yorkers get to keep your bike lanes for a while longer.

hillbilly said...

weiner dawg

Twistyface said...

@ Anonymous 12.27 - I thought those epic bullhorns were owned by a keen knitter....

Marcel Da Chump said...

No way Emi Brown has ever glued-on a tubular.

Anonymous said...

Hey! I think I met that "gurl" on Craigslist.

Is that a fleshtone saddle or are you just happy to see me?

ant1 said...

ant1st!

crosspalms said...

Orangutan maybe, but I think that bike is a police bike. For the long arms of the law

Anonymous said...

Ya think Anthony Weiner got some make-up sex last night?

Just wondering...

He probably tried.

Etherhuffer said...

Curating my wienerway in the public domain to get folks all atwitter is just not my cup of smegma.

Orangutan horns said...

FORK LIFT

g said...

MNKY BARS

Charlie Didrickson said...

Tubular

mikeweb said...

What every Cat 6 racer needs.

crosspalms said...

@mikeweb

Cool. I'm going to have mine say "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you picked at the "tubular vs clincher" scab.

TheTye said...

BUTT BRTH

Marcel Da Chump said...

Yeah, nice one mikeweb. Mine's gonna play "Tubular Bells".

TheTye said...

CLCH TBLR
(ala LOVE HATE)

mikeweb said...

@crosspalms & Marcel,

I think I'll go for 'Ride of The Valkyries', minus the napalm though.

Borat said...

Ina my country, we say that when a horse isa sad, it isa likea when a man isa sad...

Chazu said...

Wiener could set an example for dirty, lying pro cyclists. Just say: "OK, I lied, then I lied about lying. Now bugger off."

But such high ethical standards are likely out of the reach of dirty, lying pro cyclists. Unless they race that orangutan bike.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL WĒNR

-P.P.

philip williamson said...

Audax differs from randonneuring in that it has a cooler name and is easier to spell. Plus I think the riders all stay together for the multi-hour rides.

Anonymous said...

Damn, that hillbomber guy sums up what I always hated about the fixie scene.
People new to bikes, (nothing wrong with being a beginner) pretending they know a lot more about the subject than they do. It would hurt your credibility otherwise.

Still, couldn't he just do a cut and paste from wikipedia?

I am a weiner engine said...

http://www.grist.org/list/2011-06-07-weiners-bike-lane-position-shows-hes-an-ass-as-well-as-a-dick

Let the word play begin, how many ways can we say dick and weiner together.

mikeweb said...

Still, couldn't he just do a cut and paste from wikipedia?

Or even better, from The Great Guru in the sky himself.

Jasper said...

I was worried about the moment when hipsters started to figure they could curate aging tubulars like those Belgian pros used to do. But I guess they are not really there yet...

Anonymous said...

Since you are about to visit Göteborg I could recommend a visit to http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feskekôrka ("The Fish-church") for some lobster worshipping.

The local residents are also known/hated for their entertaining/annoying sense of humor http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Göteborgshumor

Have fun and watch out for the trams!

Anonymous said...

Not to nit-pick, but Bike Polo has a really long history as a sport. I pre-dates the current fixie craze, that's for sure.
Somehow I don't find it as stupid as seqway polo.

g-roc said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

@ mikeweb

If he doesn't know anything about tubes vs clinchers, I doubt he knows who Sheldon Brown was.

Anonymous said...

" It can also play a traditional bicycle bell sound."

All of that wonderful chinese technology for only 24.95, and the best you can do is use a preprogrammed bicycle bell sound.

Super meh.

yogisurf said...

Polo on Mobile Dork Podiums.

Friendo said...

SHVD CHST
SADL DONG
BUTT BABY
MNKY BIKE

The noble dachshund said...

Wienerdog is still acceptable; weinerdog is not.

grog said...

Weiner saddle is for ding dongs.
ONUR LEFT

roomservicetaco said...

Make what you will of this:

New Study Finds Bisexuals Less Likely to Wear Bicycle Helmets

Bobby said...

Snob! Caught the Freudian slip last night on the news. The narrator read, "a sad and Deflated Wiener left the room!~" Who typed THAT in the teleprompter, Brilliant!!!

Deflated Weinerway

Anonymous said...

TUBI FAIL

Anonymous said...

Palin got it right.

Weiner got it up.

Obama got it left.

Snob is gettin' it down.

That was kind of deep. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

weiner man butt baby

Paul Bowen said...

@BSNYC: Arf! Very good.

Anonymous said...

First off, fuck you Google for trying to make me sign up for a Blogger account. Just log me in using my Google account!

Now my question. Do you thing the samurai sword dude is looking to trade it for a 3Rensho Katana?

JDH said...

Shfifty Shfseven! Bitches.

Yoda{of Portlandia} said...

Smug twat you are, Mr. Weiner.

leroy said...

My dog saw the title of today's post and has been singing all day:

"It can't be wrong, when it feels so right,

Because you, light up my life."

He's just doing it to annoy me.

I Go Around and Around said...

Yelling at God eh? Well, that explains my neighbors. Every time they have a fight, there's another baby on the front stoop handing out cigarettes to passers by.

G-D babies.

Aw crap....

Anonymous said...

All You Haters Suck My Polo Mallet

All You Haters Suck My Weiner (Oops, severe loss of irony, there)

Anonymous said...

Panties!
I have a samurai sword in my panties!
Sword!
Panties!

Anonymous said...

This guy crashes into a NYPD cop car...in the bike lane:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzE-IMaegzQ

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Hair Transplant in turkey said...

Thanks for the information. I really enjoyed, I would like get more
information about this,because is very beautiful, thanks for sharing
saç ekiminde gelişmeler

Fixie Bikes said...

people are really bad at reading your posts apparently.

Anonymous said...

buy ambien buy ambien online with prescription - ambien cr empty stomach

Anonymous said...

order ativan get rid ativan addiction - ativan dosage time

Anonymous said...

diazepam 5mg buy valium online no prescription canada - valium dosage for dogs

Anonymous said...

diazepam 5mg diazepam 2 mg for vertigo - diazepam and xanax

Anonymous said...

xanax antidepressant xanax bars withdrawals - xanax overdose elderly

Anonymous said...

ambien order ambien generic does not work - ambien buy online overnight

Anonymous said...

diazepam 10mg buy diazepam usa - diazepam 5 mg for insomnia

Anonymous said...

buy alprazolam online without prescription alprazolam 2mg xr - xanax dosage extreme anxiety

Anonymous said...

order ativan side effects of .5 ativan - ativan j code

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam high off diazepam - get diazepam online

Anonymous said...

cheap ativan online ativan withdrawal heart rate - come off 1mg lorazepam

Anonymous said...

xanax 1mg xanax dosage for cats - xanax you buy online real

Anonymous said...

buy generic ativan buy lorazepam free shipping - ativan sublingual 1mg

Anonymous said...

xanax for sale xanax drug of choice - buy xanax us pharmacy

Anonymous said...

soma online buy generic soma online - somanabolic muscle maximizer login page

Anonymous said...

soma cheap soma online no prescription overnight delivery - soma online promo codes

Anonymous said...

buy valium online valium anxiety - buy roche valium online

Anonymous said...

cheap soma carisoprodol opiate - carisoprodol 350mg high

Anonymous said...

buy soma online carisoprodol 350 mg many get high - carisoprodol bioavailability

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online buy valium australia - valium lisa mitchell

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online buy ambien sleeping pills usa - how long do u sleep with ambien

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma online canadian pharmacy - 350 mg of carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

ambien sale lunesta vs ambien cost - drug interaction ambien and vicodin

Anonymous said...

online soma order soma online in texas - soma online rx

Anonymous said...

buy valium online cheap buy generic valium - xanax vs valium for stress

Anonymous said...

buy valium online color valium medication - long will effects 10mg valium last