Friday, April 15, 2011

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz! (And Also I'm Going on Hiatus!)

Firstingly, I should mention that, as of today, I will be taking a short leave of absence from this blog, but I will return on Tuesday, April 26th with regular updates. As for what I will actually be doing during this leave of absence, I don't want to say that I will not be on an exotic endangered species hunting trip with Ted Nugent, but I will not be on an exotic endangered species hunting trip with Ted Nugent. In the meantime, if I have any important news to relay (such as, "Awesome! Just bagged a Black Rhino!") I will do so by means of my Twittering account.


I must admit that I was dreading this--mostly because, given the bicycle backlash here in New York City, I figured the last thing we needed was for a show about how crazy messengers are to fart on the flames of everybody's apparent hatred for anybody on a bike. However, while it did contain some genuinely cringe-inducing riding, overall I thought the show was pretty good, and it was certainly about a thousand times smarter than your typical fixie hillbombing video or Internet messenger "documentary." Anyway, I three-quarter-heartedly recommend it.

Thirdally, I'm very pleased to announce that today something amazing happened. Yes, after weeks and weeks, the moment I've been waiting for finally arrived. Some days I thought for sure it was going to happen and it didn't, while other days the entire enterprise seemed futile. But now all of that is in the past, and nothing can change the fact that I have officially attained my hard-won goal:

I finally ran out of olive oil.

Why am I so happy I ran out of olive oil? I'll tell you why. Because that meant I could finally crack open my giant can of genuine Andy Hampsten-imported Extra Virgin Olive Oil:

Note that I've included both a pair of Fred-tastic Oakley M-Frames and a bag of my own coffee blend for scale. As you can see, that's one "epic" can of oil. The first thing I did upon opening the can was hoist it to my lips and take a mighty slug from it, and as that sublimely viscous liquid dribbled from my chin and down the front of my "Star Wars" pajamas, I knew right away that this was the best olive oil I'd ever tasted. I'm no olive oil "noob," either--I'm used to the good stuff. In fact, before this I was using an exotic olive oil from a region in Italy called "Canola," and compared to Hampsten's stuff that Canola crap doesn't even taste like olive oil at all.

Finerly, speaking of the New York City bicycle backlash, this morning I was watching Pat Kiernan on NY1, who mentioned the following story about a woman who received a ticket from the NYPD for carrying a tote bag on her handlebars:

Amazing. If there was any remaining question that New York City is officially striving to become the most bicycle-unfriendly city in America and thus transform itself into the bizarro Portland, this should lay it to rest once and for all.

And with that, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see an "epic old man."

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I look forward to seeing you again when I return on Tuesday, April 26th.


--BSNYC/RTMS








("Keeps out the alpha rays, Max. You don't get old.")

1) Which is not an actual quote from the comments section of fashion blogger The Situationalist's post about bike locks as fashion accessory?









2) Politician Charlie Crist recently apologized to David Byrne for suggesting that Byrne owns a car.







(The guilt is written all over his face.)

3) Where did the "first-ever cycle crime" take place?








4) Folding bicycle manufacturer Brompton is "dropping" a William and Kate royal wedding "collabo" bike.







5) Thanks to the "VelEau," you can now drink from your:








6) Finally! It's a:

--Saddlebag you can drink from
--"Filth prophylactic" you can sit on
--Saddle you can eat out of








7) Really?

--Yes
--No





***Special Reader-Forwarded Extraordinarily Phallic Aerobar-Themed Bonus Question***



Really?

--Yes
--No

163 comments:

samh said...

Quiz-time methinks.

Anonymous said...

ant2nd?

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

samh said...

I wish you wouldn't go on vacation, Snob. Alas I will just have to put up with reading Stevil's blog in your absence I guess.

ringcycles said...

Is it regulars friday? Nice work samh

Anonymous said...

Deez Nutz

Stranded said...

How in hell can olive oil be extra virgin? What, is there partially virgin olive oil? On what planet does the concept of degrees of virginity make sense?

crosspalms said...

Is a folding bike a bad omen for William and Kate? I don't think I'd want one to commemorate my wedding. And registering for one would be weird, plus kind of selfish. You'd really have to register for 2 so your bride didn't think you were going to tootle off at the first opportunity. And what if you got 2 Bromptons but only one dinner plate? No, it's trouble any way you look at it.

samh said...

People are obviously struggling with the bonus question on the quiz... or turned on, one of the two.

Max said...

Aced it!

Herewithally, quite possibly the most incredible bike messenger "edit" of all time, yet I can't recall seeing it here at BSNYC/RTMS Industries. This one has it all: epic skitching, SS MTB, ghost riding the whip, hipster dancing, and more: Messenger School!

I am a penis tri engine said...

Good week snobby but no beautiful godzilla question?

This starting to resemble a biking blog,except for Ted Nugent.

Refresh and relax on that vacation, we are counting on you.

Anonymous said...

Panties.

I am a condom loving engine said...

I am waiting for my Kate condoms to be mass marketed, but really big ones for my aero/tri bars.

Brompton sucks.

Anonymous said...

These panties are makin' me thirsty!

Rocky Mountain Chuck said...

6 out of 8. Thpttph! Ack!

Say hi to recumbent girl for us.

Anonymous said...

ill-timed hiatus - just as the NYC anti-cycling backlash is heating up in your virtual home:

http://bikeportland.org/2011/04/14/owner-of-hillsboro-coffeehouse-says-cyclists-have-worn-out-welcome-51445#more-51445

hillbilly said...

then there is this NYPD gem

ce said...

"Lots of hand positions..."

Surly Bastard said...

20 something. Now for the quiz. I studied this week. Should be good ...

Kenny Banya said...

ACES!

leroy said...

All I want for Passover is a plague or two for Marty Markowitz and Neighbors for Better Bike Lanes.

Nothing too drastic.

Some frogs would be sufficient. Dayenu.

Ride safe all!

ce said...

Speaking of reviews, I watched Life Cycles tonight. Building on the style explored by The Collective, Life Cycles is a portrait of the Mountain Bike (read: "45 minute Shimano advertisement") directed by Norman Rockwell on drugs and filmed by David Attenborough's documentary crew, possibly also on drugs. I really enjoyed it.

mikeweb said...

samh FTW!

My prediction: Eventually NYC will open up an encampment on a corner of Governor's island where cyclists guilty of infractions, made up or otherwise, will go to be 're-educated'. The NY Post will eventually nickname it 'sitno' and opine the dangers of releasing the detainees into 'gen-pop'. Buycycling magazine will nickname it 'Camp Y-foil' and beseech Ray Kelly to provide the cyclists 'velo-tary' trials to be presided over by David Byrne who will be counseled by Jeanette Sadik-Khan.

Eventually the Lone Wolf will descend from on high and in the style of Chuck Norris, release all NYC cyclists from authoritarian oppression by sheer force of will.

Praise Lob.

Surly Bastard said...

Didn't do that well on the quiz, damn. I guess all the time I spent watching Triple-Rush reviewing did me in. This morning I had an inexplicable hatred of architects. How come?

wishiwasmerckx said...

So I see that Snob will be celebrating Easter sunrise services at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem again this year, as is his custom.

Journey well, my friend.

Dan said...

Canola killed me.. Genius snobby!

Anonymous said...

Why is the Trek TT bike funny?

Marcel Da Chump said...

A reliable source told me TRIPLE RUSH has to attract five hundred thousand viewers by its second episode or it'll be cancelled.

Anonymous said...

Tilford posts to his blog from his iphone while racing. And he never takes days off.

mikeweb said...

TT bikes are inherently funny. Unless they're being ridden by guys like this.

ce said...

Anon 12:53 I'm not sure where the humour stems from.

Anonymous said...

Goddamn every day I hate NYC more.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the woman who got the tote bag ticket was riding on the sidewalk like in her photo?

ce said...

Anon 12:57, yeah, that was until he lost his iphone somewhere behind his ear in the growth.

Anonymous said...

That Brompton is the most tasteful souvenir I have seen yet!

Tagline is odd though : In Memory of [the royal wedding]... normally 'in memory' is the exclusive domain of the funeral parlour.

republo_crat said...

Snobby,

No Stumptown coffee in that image. I thought you virtually resided in Portland?

Fscking Republican said buying anything from a cooperative anti-american. He's going to lose a few farm votes over it.

Where are YOUR artisanal Portland panniers? I've got mine.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Have a fun, safe hiatus, Snob.
And thanks for that Sartorialist link. As a favor to a friend, I worked in the garment center for about year, back in the day; so I'll bring that perspective to the Sartorialist comments section. I promise to behave myself. Really. I'm serious. For real...so cute--see?

grog said...

Mr. Bicycle "Snob" New York City, we want you to enjoy your extra virgin, and if it rains, take the bus.
FUNK WIZZ

Stupid Name said...

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/scandal_bars_bike_bust_UVXlnlr4lMXoSRmsH4GagN

After reading the comments, I have come to a final thought.

There are some people that really hate cyclist, they don't think they are stupid, they really really hate cyclists.

ce said...

Maybe Steve Tilford shouldn't blog so much about racing and instead should use his time and profile to promote the aTILffordRESEARCH Foundation. Step 1. Fundraising pledge to shave head. Step 2. Sell thousands of wrist bands woven from removed hair. Step 3. Fund genetic research aimed at ridding the world of the terrible curly scourge afflicting Tilford and so many others.

Neil said...

that girl's no virgin....

Kenny Banya said...

The TT Trek seller said it was a 2009. The 2009 TTX 9.0 was not blue. This bike is a 2008.

Look it up fellas...

Hmmm... said...

Ten days is just about the right amount of time to load up a U-Haul truck, drive it to Utah where it will break down, get it fixed, head on out to Portland, unload the truck, and get a computer all set up.

Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Kenny Banya, you have waaay too much time on your hands.

Anonymous said...

Casey Gibson at 1:10 in the Old Man video?

Millions of Dead Cops said...

AYHSMT = All You Haters Summons My Tote

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

STAR WARS

Fucking Republican* said...

Snob needs to take a break in order to dodge the IRS. He'll need to mortgage his son for tax payments. I, on the other hand, don't have to pay any taxes at all because I'm a member of the Wealthy 2% Club, and I don't do shit like that.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*better than non-fucking.

Slow Hand said...

I wonder if Quick Squirt McHurt would hit the ticketed lady ( nice legs, btw).

g-roc said...

ce 1:05 - nice.

bikesgonewild said...

......'going on hiatus !!!' is celebrity speak used by wealthy cyclo-journalists meaning "i'm going on an expensive retreat hosted by richard branson & eddy merckx to have my my face lifted, my ass waxed, my blood cleansed & my colon irrigated which, not to rub it in, is something all you 'little people' could use but could never afford"...

...we could use a bit more truth about these goings-on bsnyc/pdx/rtms...

...just sayin' from the cheap seats...

Gordon said...

The trek Tri bike, man, imagine the crisp shifts you get with 105 derailleurs, and Dura-Ace 7900 everything else. Bet he kept the derailleurs for his next build.

Building a tri-bike on a budget, I think the money should go to derailleurs first. But then, TT on a budget is like military intelligence.....

crosspalms said...

Gordon,
And it comes with a "Cranskset," which I think is a Norwegian cousin to the cranberry. Tasty. Bike goes even faster if you wear your helmet backwards.

Lanterne Rouge said...

"a woman who received a ticket from the NYPD for carrying a tote bag on her handlebars"

Apparently the NYPD is being trained by Arizona cops on how a crackdown should occur.

hillbilly said...

hey, I forgot the link earlier re: NYPD!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxjNVSCs_Lg

Kenny Banya said...

Anon 2:40:

I do have a lot of time, but it only took me two seconds to know that the 2009 only came in silver...

Quicksquirt McHurt said...

Well, I wouldn't ticket her for carrying a tote bag, if that's what you mean.

PawnShop said...

Extra Virgin Wife Oil

g-roc said...

Banya - the paint color is kinda minor. Re-read ce 1:05.

Anonymous said...

Kenny's point is regardless of humor, lack of humor or the color, the sale was a fraud based upon the year of manufacture.

Anonymous said...

I am rich bitch. Nice article. Don't usually log on Friday. You should let people guest blog during your time off.

g-roc said...

I feel like I'm in the Yehuda comments section today.

urchin said...

awright, another hint. The person that the TT bike is fitted to must be missing about 5 vertebrae.

bon vyg, snob

npj

ricky said...

when i goes on hiatus i takes them protoxin pills the doc gave me

Anonymous said...

They're called elbow pads not chest pads.

Fucking Republican* said...

I just don't get it.

I pay big bucks to get my kid in a highly selective preschool in order to fast-track him into an Ivy League school. I give him his own IPhone at 10 and his own BMW at 16.

I pay even bigger bucks to get him into an expensive wannabe college where he can study Psych, because he was too shit-witted to get good SAT scores, even though I know he can get a better education at the local JuCo for about a tenth of the cost.

And how does he repay me? He turns hipster, gets every square inch of his skin tattoo'd, moves to Williamsburg, and votes Democrat.

Just fuck. I'd be really pissed except my accountant has figured out how to get a huge tax break every step of the way.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*better than non-fucking.

Libby Tarian said...

Too bad Fucking Republicans are .01% of all Republicans.
Non-Fucking Republicans are content to dry-hump their balls blue, and live happily in the red.
Nelson Rockefeller was a great Fucking Republican.

Fucking Republican* said...

There are no fucking Democrats, unless you include same sex porking and blow-jobs from underaged interns. You assholes put your balls in escrow under the auspices of the gender studies bitches at Brown University years ago.

Bunch of fucking girly men.

*better than non-fucking.

President Bubba C. said...

I beg to differ. All those ladies felt my pain.

Rural 14 said...

Ant 2nd
This time the real one.

The Sounds said...

when I feel that something is right

that something is worth to die for

Anonymous said...

I believe the VelEau was designed with the Pro Tempo Clip-On aerobars in mind. You mount the VelEau "hookah" right on the very top of the aerobars.....looks nice!

JohnVeloBlake said...

I thought the joke was in the fitting of the TTX

Where can I stream Triple Rush?

Bad Lawyer said...

Inspired!

Belgie said...

This is the perfect blog for anyone who wants to know about this topic. You know so much it’s almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want...Ha-ha). You definitely put a new spin on a subject that been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!

hater said...

A cop busts her for the purse, and other twats complain she wears her "helment"
incorrectly.Whoop-de-frickin' doo.Helments just make it an open casket funeral.I guess that's sumpthin' tho.

Stupid Name said...

Bad Lawyer is back, Yeaa.

Anonymous said...

Bad Lawyer is back -- now, if Commie Canuck would just post more frequently, and Frilly returned, it'd be just like the good old days!

Simplex derailleurs made of sturdy duPont Delrin, TA cotterless cranks, Reynolds 531 straight-gauge tubing, the works!

Anonymous said...

http://www.fotosearch.com/SUE116/slbw0333/

Breaking news.

Time travelling retro-fred's silhouette has ditched the tri bike for a mountain bike, and is *ahem* quite happy about it.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Yes, definately more Frilly. On the podium.

Planet MarTay said...

Hiatus' make me sad. Life isn't the same without new snob posts. Also, even though I think your David Byrne stuff is hysterical, I can't help but like him. I know...

JT said...

Stem on the TTX is backwards?

Caliente Carlos said...

Ladies don't like to hang out here? I can't imagine why.

Anyone know of any good porn sites these days?

Anonymous said...

the snob had to take time off to accept his Pulitzer.

Anonymous said...

@JT 5:03

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!

Anonymous said...

http://veloshitstorm.blogspot.com/2011/04/philippe-gilbert.html

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, happy Passover. I hope that you had a pleasant Seder. If you are through with it, could I please have back my Maxwell House Haggadah?

bmx bikes said...

Looking for mountain bikes, bmx bikes, ladies bikes online. Choose from a wide range of online bicycles including speed bicycles, 21 speed bike.

Orbea bikes said...

I gave up after question two of the quiz!

Sam

wishiwasmerckx said...

Newsflash!!! Kara Goucher sets PR at yesterday's Boston Marathon, finishes fifth, and is STILL HOT!!!

Old faithful said...

hooray; your writings on theater and writing much missed!

Ratso Rizzo said...

Everybody's tarckin' at me, I can't hear a word they're saying

Anonymous said...

Hey Snob,

Are you sayin' that you want that much important Jeff Novitsky investigation to stop?

I am surprised.

Anonymous said...

we need to hear more about procycling and things like
real awesome pro temas like:

Leotard Shrek

Radiohead

LottoLuck

etc etc etc

Anonymous said...

Happy Wednesday!

Regular Reader said...

Wednesday is a lovely name.

Oh jeez, that Sartorialist blog is affecting me.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

One,

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Two, and

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Century.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Time was, like an ant who soldiers on even after losing its head, the comments board would continue unabated in Snob's absence.

Now...look how long it took to reach 100 comments...

Slackers...

Marcel Da Chump said...

Reporting for domestique duty.
There's an article in today's NY Post on actor/comedien Robin Williams being let off the hook by cops for riding on a sidewalk near Central Park. Williams was on a track bike about to enter the Park. He was wearing a baclava and the cops didn't recognize him. But when they asked for his license they called him Mork, and spared him the $100 fine. The article also mentions that Williams owns sixty bikes. He's pictured leaning on a crabon Colnago, sporting a leather jacket and shades.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Marcel, Eddy Merckx bicycles brought a special edition EMX-7 to Interbike last fall. It was a waaay customized jaw-dropper which goes for $20,000.00

They told me that they had sold only one in the United States...to none other than...the aforementioned Robin Williams.

bikesgonewild said...

...marcel da chump n' wishiwasmerckx...

...robin williams is definitely a rider, not just a guy who owns a lotta cool bicycles...

...he's always lived kinda local & i've seen him out pedaling many times throughout the years...

Marcel Da Chump said...

That does it. I'm goin' Hollywood, baby!

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, I can only imagine what they might find if they drug-tested Mr. Williams.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...

...mr williams, like myself is a heart patient & once you've been split wide open & replumbed, one tends not to fuck around too much with one's mortality...at least if one is sensible...

...i hope robin is that...i know i am...

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, to his credit, he has been very open about battling his substance abuse demons. Rehab is even part of his routine.

I have no idea about his current state of sobriety, but he does seem to have a pretty severe case of adult ADDHD.

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, so you have a pig valve or two in your chest?

That explains a lot right there...

The Man Whose Head Expanded said...

I need a new helment.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...nope...the pig rejected me...

...actually, due to a hereditary thingy, i had a quintuple (5 X - count 'em) by-pass...rode myself back into health...

..however, my amigo 'sully' won both a national & world veterans mtb championship riding for tom ritchey whilst sporting said pig valve in his heart years ago...

...we still mercilessly ride each other about all that shit...& when he finally had to upgrade to a titanium valve for health reasons, do you think i gave him a break ???...

..."sure, sully...i get a titanium bike & the best you can come up with is a ti heart valve...fucking sad, dude"...

...you know how it is with amigos, wiwm...

Anonymous said...

Y'know, BGW, it's good to have you back .... but it's also good to have you around ... sounds like it's not to have been taken for granted ...

wishiwasmerckx said...

BGW, I lol'd over your post.

It sounds like number of bypassed arteries starts to stand in for penis length in the bragging rights department once we reach a certain age. "A triple? I had a quadruple!"

And although I have done pretty well with the ladies over the years, I, too have been rejected by a pig or two...

Marcel Da Chump said...

Oh yeah? Well, I've been rejected by pigs, dogs, cows and even a cougar, for crying out loud!
(maybe I should try my own species)

Have a blessed weekend, everyone.

wfs said...

Really don't have an idea too. :-)

bikesgonewild said...

...anon 8:21pm...a double thank you & philosophically, that pretty much applies to all of us at all times whether we realize it or not...

...in my case, it happened to be particularly true...i was out on my bike when i collapsed unconscious but i was literally "in the right place at the right time"...

...200 yards from a para-med station, somebody saw me go down & called & when they had revived me, the para-meds said "you were about 30 to 90 seconds from being forever gone & if you hadn't been strong (ie: a cyclist) around your problem, you definitely would a' been gone"...

...thankfully, i was given a BIG second chance...

ce said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ce said...

…and this is how you choose to spend your precious time?

ce said...

…though philosophically that applies to all of us

ken e. said...

time spent amongst friends is never wasted.

all those junk miles however....

frilly said...

Was I lost?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Frilly, welcome back. We have been estrogen-deprived in your absence.

It should only take about 15 minutes for the first inappropriate comment to arrive.

Inappropriate comment said...

Am I late?

frilly said...

Been busy training for my tri on 5/1. I'm afraid I've gone to the dark side--UPS is supposed to be delivering my tri suit today.

Anonymous said...

http://www.wired.com/rawfile/2011/04/bike-messengers/all/1

Anonymous said...

Frilly, welcome back!

BGW, so glad you can join us -- at all! That's an amazing story.

Less than 24 hrs!

Marcel Da Chump said...

@Anon 12:23,
Thanks for that.
Austin did some of the camera work (riding scenes) on TRIPLE RUSH.

bikesgonewild said...

...thanks, anon 1:03pm...

...& frilly, it's a good thing you weren't out training around the st.looy airport the other day, huh ???...

archbishop said...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=320687077939&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

frilly said...

Actually I was at the pool swimming laps. They made us all go into a hallway. I stayed in the locker room, of course, to take a shower. And whilst I was doing so it occurred to me that might not be the best place, heaven forbid the power goes or the roof gets blown off & there I am, nekkid. Awkward.

Anonymous said...

Anyone in the Williamsburg area, and want a squirrelrito, delivered by vintage artisanal wooden fixed speed bicycle?

Only $26 each, they are awesome!

bikesgonewild said...

...lucky for you, (& of course us) the 'wicked witch of the west' didn't get a bead on your natatorium...

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah, chicks ´n bikes:
http://www.cyclepassion.com/

Locks said...

We use a safety locks for our bicycle or motorbike. The price of locks mostly is not costly.

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Bike Locks said...

but I will not be on an exotic endangered species hunting trip with Ted Nugent.

Fixie Bikes said...

Sorry Dave indeed.

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