Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Utility and Futility: Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast the First Beverage

Recently, I received a mass email from the Oregon Manifest. Oregon is the state where the city of Portland is in. When post-apocalyptic half human/half lizard archaeologists uncover the ruins of Portland dozens of years from now they will doubtless declare it to be the home of the greatest "bike culture" that the world has ever known. That's why I knew the email was important. So I clicked on it and words filled my screen and I once again thanked the Almighty Lobster on High for the miracle that is the Internet and here are the words that came to me from the Holy City of Portland:

Bike People!

Oh! what a beginning, and Oh! how I groveled in obeisance. Yes, I am a "Bike People!" Speak to me, o Portland! Tell me what I am to do in thy name!

Oregon Manifest is asking designers and custom bike builders to create the Ultimate Modern Utility Bike.

Joy of joys! I knew this day would come! Portland has finally decided to lay waste to the world with a cleansing Flood of Smugness! And as the Lord bid Noah to build an ark, the Oregon Manifest bids us build the Ultimate Modern Utility Bike so that only the righteous Bike People survive the deluge.

What's a Utility Bike?

Asked the email rhetorically, and then answered itself:

The bike that fits into and enhances your everyday life seamlessly –
a bike that performs many tasks well, is easy to use, easy to secure, easy to grab and go.

Yea, it's an Ark of Smugness, aboard which you load every kind of "Bike People" two-by-two in order to "portage" them to salvation. Two roadies, two mountain bikers, two randonneurs, and so forth. The recumbent riders will be left to fend for themselves, because they can easily "retrofit" their contraptions into paddle boats.

In your world, what would Ultimate Modern Utility Bike do?
Get you from point B to Point B with little effort?
Haul Groceries and still haul ass?
Perform multiple tasks but still feel fun to ride?


Yes, yes, and yes! Also it would fly, brew coffee, and shoot deadly lasers, all while remaining Laterally Stiff Yet Vertically Compliant. Amen.

We want you to tell us what your idea of the Ultimate Utility Bike is!
We may include your submission in our upcoming Oregon Manifest video broadcast on our website.
Send us a 1-2 minute video of yourself completing the following three sentences:


1. I'm _____________ from _________, ____ and this is my idea of the ultimate utility bike.


Uh, BSNYC/RTMS from Terra Haute, IN.

2. The Ultimate Modern Utility Bikes should....
("take me to work, allow me to shop for weekly groceries, carry my kid, store in my office easily")


...portage stuff, fly, brew coffee and kill.

3. With the Ultimate Utility bike I would....
("get to work, stop off at the library, pick up a few things at the grocery story, then ride over to the next town to visit my friend")


...portage stuff, fly, brew coffee and kill.

WE ALSO INVITE YOU TO DRAW A PICTURE OF YOUR IDEA

Invitation accepted:



:::: Please pass this email on to others that might have something to say! ::::

Obviously, if you're a real-life bikemaker or just have artisanal tendencies and want to submit, contact the Oregon Manifest, but you're unlikely to outdo my Flying Death Ark.

Also, when submitting your plans, make sure to denote all measurements in cubits.

Still, we cyclists are a fickle bunch, and no sooner have we obtained our "dream" bike than we have listed it for sale on the Serotta forums in order to fund a newer, better, dreamier dream bike built by someone with more cachet and a longer wait list. I'm certainly no exception, and only moments after designing my Flying Death Ark I visited Craigslist and found something even better:

Urban Assault Vehicle electric bike (Williamsburg )
Date: 2011-01-02, 10:12AM EST
Reply to: [deleted]

This is not one of those cheap production electric bikes . It bad ass NYC transportation. Once your ride a bike like this you never ride the NYC transit again. Come check it out! 1000 watts of power @48volts will take you 30mph for 30 miles on one charge no problem Features : Cruise Control , Rock Shox full suspension, shimano gears, front and rear disk brakes, topeak defender2 fenders, Led Headlight and rear Flasher everything is brand new ready to roll. more info upon request. Please feel free to email with any ?s Building more bikes as we speak. Thanks for looking!~ electric bike~electric bicycle


Yes, it's a Bikesdirect dual-suspension mountain bike with an electric motor on it, and yes, "it bad ass NYC transportation." Obviously this bike boasts many fine features, but the standout is the "cruise control" which is what's going to allow you to plow through snowdrifts and throngs of pedestrians in crosswalks like a speeding subway train through a gigantic Portland Cream from Voodoo Doughnuts. From the looks of the picture on the left it even has some sort of rear rack-mounted missile launcher, and it's certainly not a bike for the sorts of dainty people who use pain-relieving unguents, as in this ad that was forwarded to me by a reader:

Amazingly, this ad has actually been running in recent print editions of VeloNews, and is not a relic from some defunct periodical from the previous century as the rider depicted in it might suggest:

Clearly, the marketing department at Perform Pain Reliever have made a bold and daring choice by foregoing the typical model astride a "cutting-edge" bicycle featuring the usual crabon fribé frippery and instead choosing a time-traveling t-shirt-wearing retro-Fred from the planet Tridork, and for this we should applaud them--even if the typical VeloNews reader is probably soiling his Assos bib shorts in horror.

Speaking of crabon, it would seem as though professional cyclocrossing person Joachim Parbo recently fell for the old "let me see your bike real quick" flim-flam:

Fortunately, the bike was recovered, though it did sustain some damage:

The white Leopard letters on the prototype frame had been scraped off. The same happened to the stickers on the Zipp wheels. Unfortunately the Zipp rear wheel had 2 spokes ripped out from what looked like a nasty chain suck between the spokes and the cassette. The SRAM deraileur was also bent.

Clearly the thief was in the process of replacing the logos on the wheels with the message "All You Haters Suck My Balls," and the bent rear derailleur is a telltale sign that he was also attempting a hasty fixed-gear conversion. As for the broken spokes, since the wheels were Zipps, that falls under the category of ordinary wear and tear.

In any case, had the bicycle not been recovered, it probably would have ultimately met some horrible fate as a polo bike, which for a racing bicycle is the equivalent of forced prostitution. Speaking of bike polo, another reader informs me that there is currently a raging controversy surrounding an unfortunate poloist who received some unwanted "hot head:"

Evidently, as is common among children in playgrounds, there was an argument over who was allowed to play and hitting (and, in this case, beverage-hurling) ensued:

So this past friday new years eve 2010 we here in Lexington played some last of the year polo and had a great day. That was until Jared or "the great zombo" on the internet, got mad that he did not get thrown into a game and threw a full, just opened four loko at me hitting me in the FACE! As I walked up to him to ask him what the hell his problem was with my hands down, he sucker punches me in the side of the face. At this point I was in shock that a "friend" was willing to get so mad that he did not get into a game. So the third and final punch he threw at me I turned at the last min and took it to the ear. I was pissed!!! I walked up to him being held back by 2 of the 20 witness's and he head butts me breaking my nose. Keep in mind I NEVER threw a punch I did not raise my hands like I was even going to, and the only thing I did was jokingly throw his mallet over the fence 10 feet away. Not knowing how mad he really was!?!? HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR

What should happen when it's gone to far? Legal?


I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly decry this craven act of violence, and Jared (otherwise known as "The Great Zombo", apparently) should be ashamed of himself--even more than the ordinary amount of shame one should feel for playing bike polo at all, which is saying a lot. Everybody knows that there's an unwritten law among the heavily tattooed hipsters who do things like ride track bikes without brakes on the street, participate in alleycats and play bike polo, and it is this: "We're supposed to look tough, not be tough!" Once somebody betrays this implicit understanding by actually striking a blow, the entire image falls apart, and that can't be allowed to happen. It's the same as the nuclear balance of power, wherein human survival depends on a bunch of countries being allowed to have nuclear weapons without ever actually launching them. As far as what should happen to "The Great Zombo," his actions impart on him the status of a rogue state like North Korea, so I'd recommend starting with sanctions (no access to the local track bike boutique, food co-op, or art school educated tattoo artist), gauge the effectiveness of these sanctions, and go from there.

Also, it should go without saying that he should not be allowed to play polo on a cargo bike:

Though arguably nobody should be allowed to play polo on a cargo bike. Cargo bikes are for stuff-portaging, flying, brewing coffee, and killing.

102 comments:

mike said...

podium

mike said...

f yeah muther efers

mike said...

this will never happen again. 1,2,3

Anonymous said...

pode.

mike said...

check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUQ9EwXmnDg&feature=sub its about commuting in london

Anonymous said...

Mike is the man! Top Ten!

mikeweb said...

Happy 20'meh'leven!!

mike said...

why does it say snob posted his blog at 8:11 a.m. when clearly he didn't post until about 12:15 pm Eastern time. is he living with Sarah palin or somehting? thats where the cows must have come from.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No Comment!

ringcycles said...

Damned security warnings!

thegock said...

JUST MISD

UCI Pee Pee watchdog said...

mike has been stripped of his 1, 2, 3 podium victories due to his failing the pee pee test. Anonymous 12:18 PM has been declared winner. Let this be a lesson to all dope cheats.

If it is any comfort to mike's many fans out there he had the same dope levels of Floyd 'No I Don't Dope - Yes I Do Dope with a book deal - Landis.

Surly Bastard said...

No top ten for me today. Joachim's bike didn't fit anyway. Lose-lose.

DJ Skinnyphat said...

Do you know how much power you need to operate a flying death ark?

bicnic said...

An empty box...

cyclotourist said...

Recumbents are just like the dinosaurs in that they're being left off the ark.

Anonymous said...

Jared from the Subway adds plays bike-polo and is also "the great zombo"?

Wow, just when you think you know somebody.

OBA said...

Bike polo conflicts must henceforth be settled in the ThunderDome! Two men enter, one man leaves!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Wow, thats quite a skyline in Terra Haute.

Anonymous said...

Yea and the UMUB will be a recumbent unicycle and will be measured by the firkin in multiples of two.

crosspalms said...

The Hoosiers are honked at being flyover country. "Nobody flies over our fucking state and gets away with it" is the new state motto, hence the need for lasers.
Speaking of which, are they also snow-removing lasers? I'll definitely sign up for one if there's a lugged steel version.

Anonymous said...

Panties!

ringcycles said...

The ad copy for Perform Pain Relief confusing me even more than the picture, "Breakaway Sprint"?!?

Doesn't one undertake a solo breakaway because he CAN'T sprint and win?

Even if they mean the effort to get off the front, that's called an attack typically, not a sprint, no?

Then again, taking a flyer while wearing a flappy t-shirt, touring shoes, and palping high spoke count wheels looks like a severly painful ride.

Anonymous said...

If you want to add your Oregon Manifest video, post it to YouTube or Vimeo and let us know on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Oregon-Manifest/154358934608783?v=app_2373072738&ref=ts

I am the drugged engine said...

I like my drugs bicycle specific, Otherwise I would not know that I needed a testosterone patch.

samh said...

It clearly states in the League of Hardcourt Polo bi-laws, section IV, article 312.2 that

...all hardcourt bicycle polo players wishing to implement the use of a longtail (eg cargo) bicycle may do so only if the cargo area contains one of the following two items:

1. a rider of at least smugness level III.
2. A laser.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Setting your phaser two clicks below "stun" facilitates snow removal. StarFleet doesn't publicize this because it makes people laugh.

Dr. Feel Good said...

Mike,
Snob has a laser-firing, flying ride. No doubt, it is also capable of light speed travel. As such, this is just a case of the old "twin paradox" physics problem. One blog reference says 8:11am (traveled at the speed of light), while the other says 12:15pm (stayed in Brooklyn). He must have hit the "post" command at the exact moment he accelerated to light speed. Or maybe it was due to worm hole travel.......in any case, I would recommend that the victim of the four-loko attack keep quiet. I mean, getting your ass kicked by a guy named Jared who was being restrained by 20 guys?! Why have a mallet if you aren't going to use it?

Eric Lowe said...

Wow! Cargo-Bike Polo while wearing crocs. Inspiring.

mikeweb said...

The dissonance between Perform Breakaway Sprint dude's dorky touring shoes and creepy taster/ soul patch is making my head hurt.

Anonymous said...

"....no sooner have we obtained our "dream" bike than we have listed in for sale on the Serotta forums..."

listed it for sale?

Einstein said...

1000 WATZ

urchin said...

"right....


...what's a cubit!?"

Stupid Name said...

Somethings wrong, that tri-geek is driving a steel bike with old rounded tri-bars. This is obviously a photo from pre-carbon days. maybe 1999 or around there.
I bet he is in serious pain. He is old now.

I think we need a specific bike polo pain killer. I think it should be made from horse tranquilizers.

hillbilly said...

happy 2011 everyone

crosspalms said...

Yea, though touring-shoe guy rideth a steel bike, yet his frame be diamond, more carbon than which thou canst not get.

ervgopwr said...

built up my cargo bike this winter break. I have yet to do serious portaging, don't really brew, but already have accomplished a killing spree that's resulted in warrants in 4 western states.

ergopower "the great" killer

Anonymous said...

SNOB,

Terre Haute.

Anonymous said...

dude,

Frame shifters on the pain killers bike. So 80's
Have they never heard of photoshop?

Hot Karl Marx said...

Apparently the "zen-like state of awareness" doesn't apply off the bike. Jesus hipster should now be well acquainted with the behavioral effects of Four Loco.

Hot Karl Marx said...

As far as the time discrepancies of today's post goes- it's obvious that Snob is Santa Clause. I mean how long was he gone for?!

PawnShop said...

Today's post was aromatic, pungent, tasty & topped by a lovely froth - all without a trace of bitterness. This is what results when one equips their cargo bike with the proper espresso tamper.
SUMD UMMY

Lez Bianczik said...

Damn, Jared wasted a perfectly good can of four loko

Anonymous said...

I disavow any past association with The Great Zombo.

Anonymous said...

I am starting a company today making artisanal bike polo mallets. I figure there's plenty of wood to be had in Central Park, or maybe partner up with the axe guys. We could steal Paul Smith away from Rapha for the colourways. Then of course we could do a Zipp carbon version with the dimples.

Shit this is going to be big! Now for a great company name, hmmm. Any ideas out there?

sufferist said...

Jared has really started to get aggressive after losing all that weight. Next time an enraged Jared comes at you, present him a Sweet Onion Teriyaki Chicken footlong. Upon seeing the sandwich he should rollover on his belly. Then you can engage in some light petting, gently feeding him the footlong. Wash up with a redi-wipe and then you should be able to resume play.

PAUL said...

Snob, you're still a no show in THE PIT. you're still my worst. all the way around. babylon road trash.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

g said...

"BSNYC/RTMS from Terra Haute, IN."

Is your dad Ralphie from "A Christmas Story"?

Anonymous said...

Yes, please. Terre Haute.

sufferist said...

Maybe that guys pain comes from the fact that he has full leg extension, no slight bend in the knee, at the bottom of his stroke. My guess is that his seat is extended pretty far and could be dropped a little bit. This is another case where modern medicine is stepping in where the Greg LeMond Bike Fit Method should be.

Anonymous said...

Crap, I am slow.

Shu-Sin said...

"People should still be able to try what a real bike feels like!"

either smugness has crossed continents and oceans from protland to luxembourg... or parbo is trying to start a smugness revolution in benelux...

if his movement fails and he's persecuted, portlandians need to consider giving him asylum.

g said...

sufferist,
I believe what we are seeing is more cheap ad-copy clip-art imagery than modern medicine. I think the seat has to be so high because the stem appears to be extended a good 4-5 inches out of the top of the headtube. Our intrepid sprinter/breakaway-er also appears to be in the small-ring and riding while slightly grasping both brake levers. I guess he's so powerful, it would be embarrassing to the other riders if he were to release the full load that is his awesomeness.
That, or he's a fucking moron.

CommieCanuck said...

1. I'm _Commie_ from _Pinkoville_, Canada and this is my idea of the ultimate utility bike:


2. The Ultimate Modern Utility Bikes should....
("take me to work, allow me to shop for weekly groceries, carry my kid, store in my office easily")

...block as many sidewalks as possible while locked; weave all over the road; have sharp pointy bits to "remind" pedestrians to look before crossing; hide my stash; get me laid; allow me to drink heavily; reduce my carbon footprint; increase my lithium footprint; scare small children; sever the spinal cords of small dogs; include Bluetooth capability.

3. With the Ultimate Utility bike I would....
("get to work, stop off at the library, pick up a few things at the grocery story, then ride over to the next town to visit my friend")

...enslave society and construct the most awesome pyramids ever. Also, tow my boat.

CommieCanuck said...

Yes, please. Terre Haute.

To New Yorkers, there is New york and the five boroughs, and elsewhere.

brewmaster said...

But polo is for KILLING!!!!

sufferist said...

g: he's also not breaking a sweat...What a monster.

PawnShop said...

Butt polo?

grog said...

Great Lobster knows, I had a Flying Death Ark as a kid, but outgrew it.

Jim said...

Two points. First, the Ultimate Utility Bike is whatever the hell friggin bike is closest to the door when you need to head out to grab a sixxer of Dale's.

Second, the TriDork Of The Fuuuuuttttuuurree from 1999 is clearly an authentic tri-dork, based on the Tegaderm on his elbow from a transition zone swan dive. In fact, it is a signal to give up trithalon and take up Century Racing if one can get through the transition zone on the bike without crashing, and without any more than say, 45 seconds of struggling to clip in.

Marcel Da Chump said...

bike polo company name:
Bike Polo by Ralph Cippollini

sufferist said...

If he is a tri dork, on a tri mission, why is he not wet from the transition or at least sweating from the noon day sun (no long shadow)? I think this might be a simulated image created solely for the purpose of selling their product. The folks up in marketing messed up on this one. Someone call Hank Handy and tell him he's dropped the ball on this one.

Yor said...

i like your blog.

CommieCanuck said...

I was confused as well, as the bike is vintage, but the rider is sporting the fashionable-for-two-weeks-in-2003 lower lip nut duster.

There is only one conclusion: some hipster in 2003 has perfected time travel.

Please, take me back to September 2001 so I can worn people about Sarah Palin.

CommieCanuck said...

meh,warn

Marcel Da Chump said...

Better yet:
Bike Polo by Ralph Lemond

Salty and Sore said...

Ha!

...nut duster...
nice.

CommieCanuck said...

If he is a tri dork, on a tri mission, why is he not wet from the transition or at least sweating from the noon day sun (no long shadow)?

You can clearly see here his head has been pasted on another body, the original photo has him holding a Mannlicher-Carcano Fixie and a folded copy of Buycycling Magazine.

Look behind the grassy knoll.. a puff of smoke. Call Oliver Stone.

sufferist said...

Wired cyclometer, yep he's a tri-dork time traveler...

sufferist said...

Is that an uphill or a downhill shot? The gearing suggests uphill, the braking suggests downhill. It could be that he was just released from the shot car going uphill and needs to break to make some distance. Just a thought....this is a sticky wicket, eh???

mullin5136 said...

"In your world, what would Ultimate Modern Utility Bike do?
Get you from point B to Point B with little effort?"

I've got a few bikes that can get me from point B to Point B with almost NO effort...I don't even have to fall over.

sufferist said...

Eyeglasses under straps, need I say more. If Snobby has taught me anything, it is that I can sneer with condescension at people who display this faux pas.

mikeweb said...

Whoever tri-dork is, he's obviously the love child of this and this.

g-roc said...

How do I put a deposit on the BSNYC/RTMS bike? Being a bike riding pinko, I better put an order in for a CommieCanuck bike as well. Gonna need a bigger apartment. n+2 is the new n+1.

crosspalms said...

For mallet company name, just have French-looking guy in beret with phony accent and small goatee or nut duster (h/t, cc!) pronounce Mallet "MaYAY."

bikesgonewild said...

...message for 'perform pain relief'...

...1989 called & they want their imagery back...

...your "bio-freeze, cold therapy" rider seems to be frozen in time...

...& can you pleeze esplain "the official pain reliever of 'the breakaway sprint'..."...

...i could surmise but i'll bet your explanation will be more fun...

InDaDrops said...

a training wheel for track stands? here's the latest in street furniture for people too clumsy to, you know, put their feet on the ground when they stop pedaling. www.fastcompany.com/blog/william-bostwick/architecture-design/safer-bike-lanes-come-down-earth

bikesgonewild said...

...btw...mark my words...

...after the 2nd 'bsnyc/rtms' book comes out & the snobulette is a little older, we're gonna be reading stuff like "bikesmug - pacific nor'-west"...

...i sense something palpable portending of this proliferation 'portland' pleasantry & i'm just sayin'...

...it's on the map & in the cards...

...bets ???...

bikesgonewild said...

..."...proliferation of 'portland' pleasantry..."...

...sheesh...

urchin said...

Anon 1:58--

Mallets Aforethought

urchin said...

...Mallets in Wonderland...

I got more...

I am the Swedish engine said...

Ultimate Utility bike?

Well that is the ultimate stupid contest.

Everybody knows it is the IKEA bike.

They win, everybody else loses.
Give them the prize before we continue to waste anybody elses time.

Self Claus said...

Let me be the eleventy-hundreth and six to welcome you back.

I was lucky enough to receive the "Bike Snob" book for Christmas. Not so much "lucky" as "expected" since I bought copies as gifts and also one for me.

I enjoyed the description of the "Laufmaschine" and remembered your description of the modern-day version, the "Glide Cycle".

And it looks like the spelling of "derailleur" is correct in the printing of the book, as opposed to the excerpted version on the Chronicle books site. So that is nice.

Test Tickle said...

@PAUL

sounds like someones got a case of the Mondays.

only it's Tuesday.

balls.

Grump said...

I rather doubt that they will sell much Perform with a rider with a T-Shirt and Aero bars, unless they make some changes in the Ad. The most important change would be to put the rider on a bike path,with little tykes scrambling out of his way, as he barrels past.

Paul Bowen said...

Mallets Get Physical

Anonymous said...

"post-apocalyptic half human/half lizard archaeologists"

In what epoch do the human-lizard archaeologists begin to emarge as a separate species? Will they replace the human archaeologists much like homo-sapiens did neanderthals? Is there an "Out of Portland hypothesis" to explain the expansion of the population? Was there a "Mitochondrial Eve" and did she ride a "crago bike?"

Hmmmmmm...

Alexander Mundy said...

Seems like the thief got Schelcked by the SRAM! Steal only Campy and Shimano!

Anonymous Coward said...

Bike Polo Company:
Haute Heads

It could then be made by authentic flyover land workers so that you could enhance your artisanal profits.

Anonymous said...

With Mallets Towards None?

HOT KARL said...

WHY IS IT THAT I ALWAYS SMELL THE STENCH OF DECAYING HUMAN FECAL MATTER?

PLEASE HELP ME AS I SEEM TO BE REPELLENT TO THE OTHER TWO OPPOSITE SEXES.

SmugSeattle said...

What, the soul patch is now "retro?" Brace yourself, Seattle, for the resurgence of the soul patch!

Anonymous said...

Snob, you don't seem to have noticed that the Cargo Bike Polo Happy Smile Super Friend Showdown (or "Slowdown", given that were talking cargo bikes) took place in Japan. Cargo Bike Polo may only be a small subculture of what is the counterculture to traditional Polo, and is therefore akin to a little toe tattoo on the vast body art canvas of a hipster sunbathing in the forecourt of the National Gallery of Art, but there is indeed a fissipated yet enthusiastic global following. Referred to by enthusiasts as "Crapolo", a convenient abbreviation that also does well to convey the cargo bikes crap hauling nature, this sport is relatively big in Japan. In fact, as depicted by the photo you featured, Japan contributes a total of three players. While Crapolo may be considered by most of the Western World (except perhaps Iceland) as an unnecessary and unethical exploitation of the gentle giants of the bicycle world, it's history has been intertwined in the livelihoods and folklore of the people of Japan for like at least 2 months. ce

Anonymous said...

we're

CommieCanuck said...

...& can you pleeze esplain "the official pain reliever of 'the breakaway sprint'..."

The UNofficial pain reliever was Tom Boonen's nose candy.

Lantern Rouge said...

Mallet Me Entertain You

Anonymous said...

Too bad Jared isn't a girly man hipster, or those sanctions may work. Try banning him from being the modern equivalent of Thor, boning like it's his job, and being generally the manliest man around and you may get somewhere. Good luck.

my2hands said...

BSNYC, are you really from Terra Haute? Not that there is anything wrong that....

Anonymous said...

I think that's Sacha White (of Vanilla Bicycles) in the Perform Pain Reliever advertisement. You probably didn't recognize him Snob because he's wearing dark shades as opposed to his usual yellow tinted white rimmed spectacles.

http://flic.kr/p/hfov4
http://bit.ly/g9HL8D

But sure enough, the soul patch gives it away. Also, it's a lugged steel frame! Case solved.

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Fixie Bikes said...

Children work mspaint better than you.