Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Beloved Figures: Money, Well, Spent

In the world of literature, there are certain accolades that can define a writer's career. For example, making the New York Times Bestseller List, winning a Nobel Prize, and being included in Oprah's book club are all the literary equivalent of wearing the maillot jaune. However, there's one accomplishment that stands above all of these, and that's having your book reduced to a prop in a "yuppified" furniture catalog. So it makes me very proud to announce that, after years of toil, I have finally attained this lofty goal.

Ask any actor what they were doing when they learned they won their first Academy Award, and they'll almost certainly remember--mostly because, generally speaking, they were all doing the same thing, which was sitting in the audience at the Academy Awards. Similarly, I remember what I was doing when a reader named "Mild Bill" emailed me to tell me he had seen my book atop a coffee table in the latest West Elm catalog: I was reading that very email on my Commodore 64 while my helper monkey, Vito, braided and beaded my hair. "I can die happy now," I tried to say as Vito placed a simian foot between my shoulder blades and pulled my braids so snug that each of my nostrils increased a full 2cm in diameter. "This one's for you, great, great grandpa," I also attempted to add, as a tribute to the man who had met his fate at the hands of the Indians after going out west to seek his fortune. (He was one of the many brave men who left the east in the famous "California Hardwood Rush," in search of raw materials for those very first mail-order coffee tables, multimedia cabinets, and towel rings.)

Unfortunately, "Mild Bill" did not include an actual image in his email, though thanks to the "Twitterini" I have finally obtained one:

Notice how my book is the most important thing in the shot--after the decorative turtle shell and the coasters, of course. All it would take would be for one guest to examine that shell, and then for six more guests to enjoy beverages that require coasters, before someone finally got around to picking up my book and perhaps even (dare I dream?) opening it. Of course, it's far more likely that someone would just rest their drink on it since by then they'd be out of coasters, but this is my moment, and Lob damn it, I'm going to enjoy it.

Speaking of reducing things to decorations, subsequent to yesterday's post I visited the Beloved Cycles website. Like Dahon's website, Beloved's tells you very specifically how to use each one of their models, but unlike Dahon's website I have no idea what Beloved are talking about. Consider their description of the "Morton:"

Morton is one of simple pleasures.
Good food. Good drink. Good times with good friends.
Carrying life’s cargo willingly, gleefully. Gathering supplies and painting with hands on the road of happiness,
He will stay up singing a song ’til early dawn to see a duty through and through.
Morton is the salt of the earth, a stalwart in the storm, steady as a distant beacon in the day or night.

( A PORTEUR. )

As far as I knew, all the drug-addled "beat generation" authors who might have written this are long dead, so I can only imagine it's the product of some sort of online Kerouacian "spontaneous bop prosody" generator. Or, perhaps they actually hired "Beloved" author Toni Morrison. Either way, what the hell does "Gathering supplies and painting with hands on the road of happiness" mean? Are you supposed to paint while riding it, like Picasso?



Interestingly, Graham Chapman's cycling getup presaged today's "hipster" styles with uncanny accuracy.

Next I checked out the "Half-Full," in the hope that it would be more scrutable. It was not:

The Half Full is respectfully known, in the circles that know.
Its efficient step through leaves a calling card to what it is, not what it is not.
Seen perhaps as ‘gender specific’, it believes there is nothing wrong with trying to make things a bit easier.
The Half Full is more than a routine, it is the love of the neighborhoods, the street corners, the trees and passers-by.
For life is better when seen Half Full.

( A MIXTE. )

I think maybe what Beloved is trying to say is that mixtes are not just for women, and that it's OK for men to ride them too. If that's not what they're saying then they should, because men are way more likely than women to spend over $4,000 on a bicycle that does pretty much the same thing as a $700 Trek Belleville.

But if you're really looking to ride an abstraction, the clear choice is the "Every Day:"

A grin from the face of solitude captivates Every Day to be the best of very bests.
The town and the city enrapture its very being of existence.
A new route or a constant stream of consciousness are the dreams that lift it over a rise or river as the world changes all around.
Every Day complements this potential and greatness to come from the very legs that give it life.
Ride on. Sun. Rain. Smile. Every Day.

( A COMMUTER. )

Translation:

Yes, the ride of the "Every Day" is so transcendent that it will cause the forces of prose and grammar to collapse on themselves like a scene from "Inception," and you will be overcome by waves of redundancy and repetition and redundancy, all while pedaling eternally and endlessly in circular circles towards some blissful horizon on the horizon where there is a store inside of which they sell really expensive coffee, exotic cheeses, and olives priced individually.

And then, when you return to your bicycle with your hemp shopping bag full of coffee, and chesses, and olives, you will find that the bicycle is gone, for it has been stolen, never to be seen again.

I think I'm getting the hang of it.

But bicycles aren't the only things that benefit from ambiguous marketing, and unsurprisingly "57 Things" guy also describes himself like a Beloved bicycle:

Everett is a techonomadic yogi currently researching the future of human/technological evolution.

In other words, he's a fey layabout with a "hipster combover:"

I should also say that there's nothing wrong with owning a really nice errand bike. If you've got the money and theft isn't a factor then by all means go forth and "gather supplies and paint with hands on the road of happiness." Certainly spending a few grand on a decent bicycle is a much better investment than spending a single grand on hiring some fey layabout with a "hipster combover" as your "minimalist business coach," which apparently you can now do. Here's what you get:

Included in the package:

--One week (Mon-Fri) of comprehensive email support for your business.
--Two 45 minute calls over phone or Skype. The first call will be for a check-in and initial advice on Monday. The second will end the consulting session for any last questions and follow-up advice on Friday.
Please read Minimalist Business first and attempt to implement the strategies in the guide.

The rate for the week-long session is $1000.


Wow, he really is just a good old-fashioned grifter. Obviously the first lesson in minimalist business coaching should be that employing even one coach is one too many. Still, it's clear that "57 Things" guy draws more inspiration from the world of cycling than he cares to admit, since as any cycling coach knows, there's no better way to extract money from people than by offering to help them fulfill their hopes and dreams. Really, the only difference between the Cat 4 with thousands of dollars of power monitoring equipment and a detailed training program and the would-be minimalist business mogul who thinks his bank account will swell with cash as he meditates is a snug-fitting Lycra uniform and some crabon.

By the way, in true minimalist fashion, "57 Things" guy has dashed off a comprehensive "FAQ" for his coaching service consisting exactly of two questions:

Frequently asked questions

Can I fly Everett anywhere help with my business?

Yes. Please send a brief email with details and he will follow up with you personally within 24 business days. Rate is $5000 a day plus airfare and expenses.

Can Everett do keynotes and other public speaking?

Sure! please send a brief email with details. Rate is negotiable based on content, venue and audience.


Flying this guy in for help with anything is like introducing termites into your house to help you with your roach problem.

Still, when it comes to marketing yourself, few people do it more effectively than Liz Hatch--who, unlike "57 Things" guy, actually does something. (On top of that, she also races bikes.) Recently the Internet has been ablaze with her latest video, which you may already have seen, though if you haven't here it is:

Liz Hatch - Every Single Piece... from Dovydas Augaitis on Vimeo.

In it, she wins a race against a bunch of undead zombie Freds on Treks:

I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean, but given that they're incalculably old and are riding top-of-the-line Madones I guess she's formally announcing she'll be competing in the men's masters field this coming season.

Speaking of things that are incalculably old, a reader has forwarded me this calculably old proto-Aerospoke from 1896:

Though the bike would be even sweeter in "drillium," like this one, forwarded by another reader:

Drilling a bike like this out for weight is like going on a diet by taking the maraschino cherry off your sundae--a nice gesture, but it's not going to accompish anything.


124 comments:

Name said...

Sprinting down victory strait!!!!

Name said...

Sprinting down victory strait!!!!

Anonymous said...

Based on what I saw that’s all I noticed.

Anonymous said...

All you haters .... Aerospoke!

Anonymous said...

fourth

ringcycles said...

podium-esque

Name said...

And here are my gg's and hh's.

My speed left them behind.

Never Knows Best said...

Pack fill. At least it isn't snowing in this ride, unlike my morning commute.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

Snow

Kenny Banya said...

top ten

Anonymous said...

epic commuted into top ten

le Correcteur said...

Damn; missed top 10 again!

I am not a circus fan engine said...

Are you sure this is not a circus blog?

Where are the ducks in nyc when you need them.

ken e. said...

"twelve"

crosspalms said...

love the olives priced individually. I'll take 57

Kenny Banya said...

I have my money on Jackson Pollack, he is always tops on the flat stages.

Geo said...

I fully expect "drillium" to be integrated into the new Trek "Madonegal", the first bike with an integrated tin whistle.

Anonymous said...

starting the season slowly

Anonymous said...

The Beloved Half Hard,...I mean, Half Full, is apologizing for being a women's bike? What a condescending back-handed self-compliment! I think Half Hard would be a much better name for it.

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

Yikes! I hope the 57 things guy doesn't sue for libel.

I was disappointed by the liz hatch video. She had her jersey fully zipped the whole time!

Dave said...

Snobbie read the last sentence again

Anonymous said...

I wonder if the Beloved prose is meant to mimic Japanese catalog copy from back in the day when their mastery of English was less than complete.

Kenny Banya said...

"Flying this guy in for help with anything is like introducing termites into your house to help you with your roach problem."

Gold Snobby...GOLD!

Ralph Nader said...

By the way, where is Liz's helmet. Her airbag system won't save her skull in a crash

Brian said...

Since I never hear anything about Liz Hatch winning races, is that the first one she's won?

hillbilly said...

SNOW DAZE

Anonymous said...

WTF is that LIZ Hatch video?! What grotesque and bizarre self promotion. And it's not even good: too many closeups of her (admittedly nice face) and none of her likely spectacular ass and legs. Also, not very promotional for her as a cyclist since the video exposes a terrible pedaling technique and inabilities to control a bike or sprint. No comment on the skeletons.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Hey Beloved Bicycle,
PUll MY DAISY !!!

Anonymous said...

much as i would've lusted after a bike like "morton" about 5 years ago, i'd be kind of embarrassed to ride one these days, even though i do "port" a fair amount of crap everyday in a pair of far less-stylish panniers. i carry a bunch of crap around by necessity, but i suspect the modern day porteurs port a bunch of crap around for the sake of porting a bunch of crap around, thus wasting a maximum amount of effort and money.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Snob, you "made it" in the world of literature the day I adorned my water pipe with a surprise I found in the back of your book, which I read recommended and lent out so it wouldn't sit collecting bike grease as an over sized tool-coaster on my glass coffee table.

mikeweb said...

Based on the price of those bicycles, I sure hope whoever wrote that copy was paid handsomely. Or at least paid at all.

Anonymous said...

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty. It is, however, twice as big as it needs to be.

Hatchet, Artisan said...

I thought that Liz's last name was Hatch-DNF.

At least that how I've always seen it.

GLEE FULY

Anonymous said...

VITO 4EVR

Matt said...

It looks like being translated from English to Japanese to English (Jimmy James style) is what happened with Beloved's copy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzNUg_IcKrI

CommieCanuck said...

Sure, Kandinsky was a good climber, but no one could out-sprint Pollack, he would weave randomly all over the finish straight. In his day, Warhol was pretty good, it seemed like there were more and more of him in the peloton.
The corollary is that I have a lovely sculpture by Cipollini in my office crafted from hair gel and stank.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet one could hire the author of all that purple Beloved prose to fill your inbox with patronizing claptrap for a week at way under $1k and it would be every bit as annoying as the 57 Things "product".

There have to be some hipster "editors" all bent out of shape right now, standing next to the WTF well because Liz used the whole supply. C'mon, Liz, don't hog all the resources like that. It's not cool.

domotion2011 said...

J Peterman sounding bored and ironic in Beloved copy. Beats and Jack K Howl drunkenly.

Anonymous said...

Anon 1:23 - you apparently know technique better than a pro?

CommieCanuck said...

My coffee table stack goes like this from the top:

Bong
Funyuns bag
Stash turtle shell
The Joy of Cooking
Biography of Eddy Merckx
BSNYC, the novelization of the movie, of the book.
How To Identify Mushrooms.
Going Rogue: An American Life
Arguing with Idiots
Mao Tse Tung's Red book
Kim Jong-il, in Nude art

Les Bianczik said...

Morton is the salt of the earth

When it rains it pours.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

What's with all the Liz Hatch hate? I for one appreciate a pretty girl on a bike. I'm sure snob could come up with something more like yesterdays girl on bike photo if thats what you guys want.

Eric Lowe said...

Surely those were tiple-layer Babelfish translations of a Taiwanese rapper's commentary on the fleeting nature of modern life.

streepo said...

If we could switch Liz Hatch out with the fat woman from yesterday, I'd be happy to trade plces with the kid from yesterday

Anonymous said...

I am at a loss to understand how the 57 things douchebag is qualified to work as a business consultant. He wrote a 72 page e-book on minimal businesses. has he ever,you know, done anything?

wishiwasmerckx said...

Don't hate on Liz...let's face it, it's hard to be a serious racer and a girlie girl, too...eh, Frilly?

She should be wearing a helmet, though, because I would not want to rely on those substantial chest pillows for protection in the event of a crash.

She is actually in my favorite cycling photo of all time, although I looked for it to link and could not find it. She is on her bike with a stick over the top from which dangles a beer just out of reach...if only she rides a little faster, she may capture it...

Anonymous said...

Ok, I guess I'll cancel the termites, then.

CommieCanuck said...

True story: Liz Hatch is in no way related to Orrin Hatch. I read it on the interwebnet.

grog said...

Lob damn it, snow.

streepo said...

Commie,
It's obvious Liz and Orrin aren't related. His boobs are way bigger.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Painted the road red once when fork broke off, leaving a Rothko
on the pavement.

Samuel said...

RE: Mr 57 Things...

"...he will follow up with you personally within 24 business days."

So this guy wants $5,000 a day plus flights and expenses to share his expertise in efficient minimalist business practice, but the best he can promise is a response to your email within a MONTH?

Despite it not being bike-related, I do applaud BSNYC's continual roasting of this guy - seems like a necessary public service to me.

Swashbuckling Dandy said...

Mr. 57 Things is looking for customers who are as reality-challenged as himself. The fact that he is likely to find one or two is the depressing part.

nierman said...

How does one determine the gender of a skeleton? They could have been Freidas.

Shlepzig said...

Bike Snob's Book under the shell of the turtle left for dead after his previous feature.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_wb8bAl1P-N0/Sh08LvaqKUI/AAAAAAAAHow/qpO2ZMozSAc/

http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2009/05/giant-wheels-cartoonification-of.html

Anonymous said...

"Consultants" need at least a passing competence in their field as measured by specific benchmarks which can be used to successfully justify their utilization & cost as reflected by the Department of Labor's criteria. Nothing like a balance sheet full of empty 'consultant' charges to attract a financially disastrous audit!

...And I'm guessing this guy doesn't even have references. Metrics be damned! He's too naive to even know that what he's trying to blow smoke about is actually a real profession real professionals work in.

In other words, Snob is preforming a PSA: He's documenting the various ways in which a life can spiral out of control for years after deciding to purchase a fixed-gear bike.

Anonymous said...

Does an airplane count as one thing? Or do you have to include all the 100s of thousands of parts that go into it? Or does an object only count against you if you own it?

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or is it weird that the Beloved folks found three people with the same first initial to write their copy.
A. Porteur
A. Mixte
A. Commuter

Spooky.
Oh yea...Liz...I'd hit it.

Les Bianczik said...

Anon @ 3:00, you've convinced me. I'm hiring the 57 things guy today!

mikeweb said...

Mr. 57 things needs to somehow get John Kerry out of the picture so he can marry Theresa Heinz. Not only would it solve his cash flow issues, but you know, it would be fitting.

Anonymous said...

Wow. 57 things guy wants a $5000/day consulting fee, and he needs 24 business days to return your email. That's a laugh.

yogisurf said...

What is she selling? Herself, I guess. Now when Paul Sherwin says "He's blowing up!!" during the TDF, I know what he's talking about.

Anonymous said...

It's SKE-LO-TON not peleton.

Anonymous said...

That 57 things d-bag reminds me of a guy I used to know that opened a pretentious bike shop, ran it into the ground within 14 months, skipped out on paying his debts, and is now offering "consulting services" for other bike shop owners. Maybe they know each other...

Salty and Sore said...

Congrats on the growing, uber-success of 'Bike Snob', Snobbie!!

Salty and Sore said...

I <3 Liz Hatch.

bikesgonewild said...

...what is a 'commode 64' ???...

Chuck D said...

W/apologies to Matt, more Jimmy James

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw5i7TPkYfI

Really just put this there since Les stole my line of what Beloved stole from Morton.

SLAM said...

I'm drilling my soul tonight.
So My sleep will be light.
Atop my single mount
Bunny up the sheep and count

Hoping the morning finds an answer
to my anguish rest in fever
and so I have a prayer
Please don't mess my combover.

redvic said...

Yuppified would imply that the West Elm catlog used to be something other than yuppie fodder...

Anonymous said...

i think the market for 57 guys business consulting expertise is about as ripe as that for a $4,000 commuter bike. Whoever puchasers such goods or services deserves exactly what they get, or don't get.

Slowrollin99 said...

sea shells and coasters. Yes those kind of coasters.

Anonymous said...

"...which was sitting in the audience at the Academy Awards"

thats the kind of humor that keeps me reading this blog every day.

DavidH said...

Beloved's typewriter monkeys make Rapha look like plodders - oh wait a minute, Rapha are just today co-opting the 'Every Day:
http://www.rapha.cc/beloved-every-day.
Actually it reads like one of those indigestible translations of French coffee table cycling books...

Oh to be reduced to a life-style accessory

From the Tolworth roundabout...

Anonymous said...

I'm very happy you reached your Holy Grrrail, Ebeneezer. Your cup overfloweth and runneth over, Lob bless.

Anonymous said...

i too was dissapointed at the liz hatch video, i was just starting to get a semi, imaging that my face had switched places with Liz's seat, when at 1:04 in the video I notice the gratuitous flashing of what appears to be an engagement ring. basically telling bike dorks everywhere that she's taken. Bad marketing liz, guys like you for your rack not your mad cycling skills.

Anonymous said...

Geez budday, get your boner back. The ring is on LIZ's middle finger. Seriously though, what a pretentious (though definitely hittable) douchette.

I am a skeleton engine said...

I don't want to be critical, and I have no credentials to be a film critic, but:

Liz Hatch should really find a new publicist or agent.

Dovydas Augaitis made one of the most interesting women in cycling seem outright boring. That film was painful to watch.

Match Maker said...

Mr & Mrs Lizeverett Hatch-Bogue?

g-roc said...

I'm trying to figure out why Liz rode a mountain bike on a trail so smooth she could have stuck to her road bike. I mean, it's not like she switched to a track bike for the velodrome shot. Now if there was some cleavage, I wouldn't have cared.

Missed Ache said...

Mr Or! Mrs

Fred said...

CC,
all due respect, but none of those modernists can ride for shit. Plus, they're all doping. For my money, not a one could hold the wheel of Cezanne, the true "Giant of Provence". Or who can forget the great sprints of Gaugin, the "tahitian tactician"? Seriously, that guy would turn himself inside out for a samoan chick wearing a coconut sports bra at the finish line. Riis figured that out.

Kandinsky. Oh please.

Fred said...

Footnote: Needless to say, Riis procured young samoans from Cipo, who usually has a few extra.

Anonymous said...

Coastiedouch here.I did like the Liz hatch promo video.I think I have a plan where all parties win.This looks like an ad for her showing prospective cycling teams she's available.Good idea for self promotion.Thing is the fans would like to to see more of the goods in a not so earo unzipped skinsuit.Then when the time comes to win the race, do what all the pros do and zip it up at the finish line so all the sponsors are getting their exposure.We all win.You win the race, we win by seeing your marvelous rack, and the sponsors get their exposure.I love the black bra under the jersey.Good look.Id like to see more video promos, maybe sweaty and braless in a skinsuit.

urchin said...

Bravo on the masters category dig. Can't help noticing, no comments there. Too close to home, fellas?

Anonymous said...

Ms. Hatch, please take your road bike off the track. Thank you.

The track racing community.

ringcycles said...

Everett ought to re-name his services "Best Made Consulting". Atleast he'd be aligned with a consistent "brand name".

Anonymous said...

Definition of a consultant:

Someone who tells you the time using your watch, bills you for it, and keeps the watch.

Which leaves the 57 Things guy in a conundrum. If he doesn't take the watch, he isn't a consultant. If he does, then he has 58 things.

Anonymous said...

I would like very much to help Liz w/ her form please.

Whut Evah said...

Seems like "Every Single Piece of Me" is image consultant speak for "Hey Buddy, My Face Is Up Here".

Marcel Da Chump said...

C.C & Fred ,
you're guys were painterly peleton legends indeed, but none of them could reel in a blistering Basquiat breakaway.

Always Anon said...

Is it me, or does the beginning of that Liz Hatch video seem a lot like a POV porno? Complete with awkward eye contact and heavy breathing... Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part.

Anonymous said...

What about the $4000 bike that the street-credible Pablo left behind after being detained according to last week's Village Voice cover story? How tough and urban. As long as it's not carbon fiber, it's "edgy". Doesn't VV have a better subject to write about than hipster fixie kids who get into trouble? How about cover the larger issue at hand of people being deported for marginal offenses. Some actual in-depth analysis would have been more informative than, "this guy is cool and it's unfair" tripe.

Again, if you're in your early 20's, one can almost excuse "Bike Kill" type silliness. But approaching 30?! "I don't know if this messenger thing is going anywhere....". Oh, really?

Vegas said...

That Hatch vid is a complete FAIL. I used to think she might be a good racer and a good rep for the sport, but not any more.
goofy CG graphics
goofy camera shots and yes, weird eye contact
goofy sprinting (maybe that's how she really sprints, but it looks horrible)
no helmet = goofy
goofy tarck ride
goofy "mountain" ride is just on a flat dirt strip beside the freeway?
AND she doesn't even "win" the "sprint" at the end, her "competitors" just spontaneously combust. LAME.

Gary and Elaine said...

Welcome to our home. Isn't it beautiful?

PS - We don't understand the Liz Hatch thingy.

Anonymous said...

That's cuz there wasn't any t-n-a.

leroy said...

97 ...

leroy said...

98 ...

My Lantern Rouge said...

Thanks for that bit on the Beloved. I had to vent on my own blog.

mylanternrouge.blogspot.com

leroy said...

99 ...

Is it just me or is anyone else worried that all this snow now means we could face a salt shortage for pretzels this summer?

leroy said...

Wow, I got a lead out to the Century from My Lantern Rouge.

Is that ironic or what?

Anonymous said...

Liz, my dear, you looked a little cramped up on that ride. May I suggest a slightly longer stem?

Best to you, my dear.

Pink Lobster said...

57-things guy is clearly a pathologically self-absorbed goofball, hands down. But does anyone else read his posts and get the feeling that he may also be clinically depressed, weirdly nihilistic, and contemplating suicide?
PNKL BSTR

James said...

The only thing (insert own comment) than a $4000 Beloved commuter is a $5000 Raphaised Beloved commuter.

http://www.rapha.cc/beloved-every-day/?cm_mmc=email-_-110111-_-textlink2-_-beloved

James said...

The only thing (insert own comment) than a $4000 Beloved commuter is a $5000 Raphaised Beloved commuter.

http://www.rapha.cc/beloved-every-day/?cm_mmc=email-_-110111-_-textlink2-_-beloved

Anonymous said...

anyone else out there equate hipsters with narcissism

ce said...

You're all pathetic. Liz Hatch is not a sex object. She is a pair of breasts with real feelings, personality and abilities and you should respect that.

bikesgonewild said...

...say what you will about liz hatch (& there seems to be a lot to be said about her, according to this site) but the bottom line is that you're all talking about her...

...& all that talk, one way or another, sounds like "liz hatch for the win !!!"...

...just sayin'...

bikesgonewild said...

...ummm, beat generation authors for $500, alex...

..."Constantly risking absurdity
and death
whenever he performs
above the heads
of his audience
the poet like an acrobat
climbs on rime
to a high wire of his own making.... "
...

...who is lawrence ferlinghetti, alex...

...just keepin' it real, bsnyc/rtms...lawrence ferlinghetti is alive (& hopefully well) @ 92 this march & still the owner of the original 'city lights bookstore' in sf @ columbus & broadway...

..."Everything the Beats stood for was the opposite of the dominant culture today"...how palpably ironic, oh thou hipsters of now...a 92 year old beat poet originally from yonkers is exquisitely hipper than any of your supposed '(counter)-cultural offerings'...by a mile...

Anonymous said...

Lucky for Liz, the skeletons are riding exploding R-sys tires

Anonymous said...

The skeletons were driving TREK, they exploded, watch out team radio sucks and leopard pussys.

They also spontaneously assembled, I guess that is a message for better uci approved mechanics.

yyz113 said...

speed holes ftw!

CK said...

Dear Liz,
Please request that video is reshot with more shots of your chest, face and ass.

Thanks and keep up the good work

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Andrew Rockman said...

Coincidentally, found your book here as well:http://www.psfk.com/2010/11/gap-cool-hunting-open-pop-up-shop-to-celebrate-nyc-creativity.html

Here for you said...

I took less than 20 seconds (mini-time) to figure out that mini-business is reducing the price of his prized books. Interesting, as I'm thinking the number seven is really important when discussing/selling all things minimal (unless this is a fact, as I'd need to invest more time (non mini-time) to find out "for sure, dude..." Either way, the move from $27 to $17 seems like a deal.

David Henderson said...

I enjoyed BSNYC's line: "I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean, but given that they're incalculably old and are riding top-of-the-line Madones I guess she's formally announcing she'll be competing in the men's masters field this coming season."

As a former Master rider, I can honestly say that Liz Hatch could beat me.

Fudgie The Whale said...

" ...shopping bag full of coffee, and chesses"

A bag full of chesses?

Anonymous said...

"painting with hands on the road of happiness"

Are they talking about road rash here? The paint is your blood after you crash and put your hands out in front of you. They should wear gloves to protect their hands if they crash that often.

Rex H said...

I believe J. Peterman is responsible for the Beloved descriptions

cloningan said...

you
are
so special

ekle paylas said...

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