Bike Snob NYC: 10/01/10

Today is October 1st, 2010, which means three things: 1) It is Friday; 2) It is Tom Bosley's birthday; and 3) It is time for me to put aside my woodworking, don my best chicken suit, load up the Wagon Queen Family Truckster, and head on up to Boston for my BRA at Landry's olde bicycle shoppe.

In addition to an adenoidal whine, an irritable helper monkey, and large amount of baggage both actual and emotional, I may be bringing to Boston the foul weather we are currently experiencing here in New York. This means that the leisurely and emphatically non-"epic" pre-event ride that is scheduled to take place at 4:00pm could possibly be in jeopardy in the event of extreme and/or chubby rain, and should there be any change of plans I shall alert you to them by means of my "Tweeting" account. Regardless, the BRA proper will take place at 7:00pm regardless of weather, inasmuch as the building in which Landry's is housed presumably has some form of roofing.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz, and since I will be in transit as you take it I will ask that you all adhere to the honor system in my absence. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll experience confirmation, and if your'e wrong you'll experience comedy.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and avoid questionable meats.

--BSNYC/RTMS

(Alberto Contador and Oscar Pereiro unable to separate hands due to hair gel residue.)

1) Alberto Contador blames his positive Tour de France drug test result on:

--Tainted meat

--Meaty taint

--Questionable legumes

--Corrupted tapas

(Riccardo Riccò: the "Fourth Amigo.")

2) After a raid of Riccardo Riccò's house in which police found approximately 50 "unidentified tablets," Riccò blamed:

--Tainted meat

--Sabotage

--Police incompetence

--None of the above; large quantities of "unidentified tablets" is just how the Riccò rolls

3) Failed drug tests? Questionable meats? Clenbuterol? Must be:

--Cycling

--Curling

--Erotic wrestling

--Table tennis

(via the OTS)

(Minimalist entrée)

4) Minimalist mealtimes are called:

--"Nutritional interactions"

--"Eating windows"

--"Food happenings"

--"Appetite 'collabos'"

5) "Green" people are apparently unable to resist the lure of:

--SUVs

--Disposable diapers

--The latest Apple products

--All of the above

(Helmet hats: the tuxedo t-shirt of the cycling world.)

6) In "cycle chic" parlance, a bicycle is a:

--"Rustic enhancement"

--"Rusty enchantment"

--"Trusty embellishment"

--"Rusty trombone"

7) Desperate to become human banner ads, Interbike visitors flocked to the Chrome booth, where they accepted tattoos of the company's logo in exchange for free bags and shoes.

--True

--False

***Special Public Service Announcement-Themed Bonus Question***