Friday, December 10, 2010

Whap! BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

When it comes to gift-giving, many people say it's the thought that counts, and days after furniture retail giant Ikea gave all 12,400 of its employees fully rigid "dual suspension look" department store-style bicycles, cyclists everywhere have been debating what exactly they were thinking when they did it.

Of course, nowhere has this debate raged more intensely than in Portland, where theories on Ikea's motivation for the gift range from "guileless gift" to "classist conspiracy." But whatever the reason, one gift Ikea did not give its employees was the gift of proper assembly, for a reader forwarded me the following item from the Cincinatti local news which included footage of jubilant Ikeans riding their brand-new bikes with the forks installed backwards:

Unfortunately, the video was subsequently pulled, but here's a still which reveals the Ikea bike's puzzling geometry:

I'll readily admit that even a department store bicycle can help cultivate somebody's interest in cycling--but not if you don't help them put it together correctly.

Meanwhile, the bicycle itself has already attained cult status, and with five days still left until the end of this eBay auction one mint example has already commanded bids of over $200:

Ikea bikes are highly prized due to the unique handling characteristics imparted on them by their backwards forks.

Sadly, we will have to wait five more days to see if the Ikea bike can officially cross the $1,000 barrier, but in the meantime I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you're right, and if you're wrong you'll see more triathlon remount porn.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and ride happy.

--BSNYC/RTMS




1) Mario Cipollini believes that the biggest problem facing professional cycling today is:

--Doping
--Insufficient sponsorship
--A lack of support for junior racers
--A general lack of machismo





2) Why is this motorcyclist smiling?

--She's not riding a Vespa
--The small of her back is being prodded by "Little Mario"






(Photographed by a reader on the FDR Drive.)

6) The above image:





7) This is an example of:

--Irony


***Special Bavarian Electric Touring Bicycle-Themed Bonus Question***

(The Bavarian Electric Touring Bicycle, as forwarded by a reader)

How much for the Bavarian Electric Touring Bicycle?

--$1,000

88 comments:

Anonymous said...

firsteel!!!

samh said...

The BSNYC Podium is the most distinguished, and most difficult record in bicycling. It is different from all other records in that it is measured in seconds, and not meters.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Bob said...

Wanders in

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No comment

Anonymous said...

HAH!

Anonymous said...

DOH!

Anonymous said...

I love Mario Cippolini!

Anonymous said...

And I hope he loves the way I misspeel his name....

Dave said...

I love Little Mario

Gone feral said...

Woof! (top ten)

mediumtriguy said...

Does a Nissan fit on the back of a Big Dummy?

Anonymous said...

Fine, I'll say it.

I believe the IKEA bikes came unassembled. So whoever was handy slapped them together.

Comment deleted said...

There's nothing better than watching two minutes of a trisexual putting on his shoes.

PawnShop said...

Aced the quiz. Been a while. Meh.

CommieCanuck said...

You could pick up road turds, wrap them in golf leaf and sell them on Hammacher Sclemmer for $5000. Some Manhattan banker's wife needs three.

Anonymous said...

Love the curling correct 'ding' clip.
Oh- the drama !!

crosspalms said...

"holiday lanes just for the eggnoggers"
Thanks Marty, I look forward to my next NY visit!

CommieCanuck said...

Also at H-S...

GPS ski goggles, to make sure you don't leave any part of Aspen.

The HD Action Sports Hands-Free Camcorder. For those "leaked" sex tapes of Abe Vigoda, which kick started his career.

The Handheld Espresso Maker. Only $189.

The Weed Whacking Golf Driver.

Sure, personal debt is at the highest level in human history, but it's totally worth it.

Grump said...

SNOB, you mention "the Ikea bike's puzzling geometry"
Did you ever think that the person who set these bikes up, was preparing them for an old time Derney race.

Anonymous said...

Snob,

How do you like your Nissan? I think they've really improved their quality in the last decade or so. Still, you might want to get a tandem roof rack for your dummy.

(It's Friday... best I could do).

Desert Rider said...

Dammit, the Cipollini questions always keep me from acing the quiz

Walter Sobchak said...

This quiz is too easy. No way I should get 6 of 7, plus the bonus.

usually I am about 40 percent.

Don Cherry said...

ah, jeez..ya know, ya pinko bike riders with yer faggy tight pants really piss me off, eh. Not that I don't like fags, I met the head of the fags last month and he was a great guy. That Merio Chiphole Weenie is a handsome man, just sayin', I wouldn't kick him outta my bed fer eatin' crackers, eh.
OK. See yaz.eh.

Buffalo Bill said...

Hey, what does Cipo have against surveyors? Back in the day, the guys who pulled chains were pretty macho.

Maybe it's different in Europe.

Buffalo Bill said...

Here's a surveyor joke:
What does a dog with a hair lip say?

hillbilly said...

IKEA FORK

Anonymous said...

10,000$ for an E-bike is almost nothing. I just found another German product that is supposed to be even faster - no information on the range though.It can be viewed on http://www.pg-bikes.com/epages/PGBikes.sf/de_DE/?ObjectPath=/Shops/PGBikes/Products/BT-01
The price is just a mere 59 500 Euro = 78 670,9 US-Dollar. BTW I am a dentist and far from riding a Serotta or any of these contraptions...

Anonymous said...

Hey now lissen up you kids ... that Don Cherry @ 1:37 that's not me ... that's not the real Don Cherry ... if ya wanna be like me ya can't pussyfoot around like some Russian in the corners ya gotta hit em hard ... you heard what I said ... ya gotta hit em HARD like THAT!
All this talk about that Merinolini guy and that I dunno its not like the old days and anyways like I wuz sayin' the only good eyetalian I ever knew was that Ciccarelli and HE couldn't keep his hands off stuff jeez, anyways that's all I'm sayin'

Test Tickle said...

MORE RACK

balls.

PS - just don't rack my balls.

Johann Rissik said...

Look on the bright side, that Ikea bike is dumpster ready right off the show room floor.
Cippolini, Cippolata, what the hell.

Anonymous said...

Imagine how ruthless Mario C would be if he came in third in the BSNYC Comments stakes. The crowd could sense his ruthlessness.

Chinabike said...

12,400 Chinese made bikes...hmmm...how many pounds of lead and mercury were used in the "curation" of these bikes. Not to mention the thousands that aren't sold on ebay for way too much money will just end up in landfills. Sounds "green" to me!

Anonymous said...

$10,000 & it has KENDA tires really. it's made in Deutscheland but it has tires that was made in China. Why didn't they throw on some high grade Continental tires. I would never buy a motorized bike. I don't even have a car. I just got a R3 w/101 zipps! I'll beat that bike climbing,on the flats too etc...

CommieCanuck said...

Battle of the Cherrys

BRING IT ON

Mario Cipollini said...

That Michael Ball bastard took my hair oil again. Wait till I see that loser.

Anonymous said...

MACHISMO!

J-Bird said...

Thanks for illustrating the most convenient way to "portage" a Big Dummy.

crosspalms said...

I did an image search for time trial bikes, and now that Ikea's not looking so bad after all.

Another Canuck said...

7 out of 7 and nailed the bonus!

Better than Bobby Orr, Don?

PhilboydStunge said...

come on BB, what does a dog with a hairlip say?

Anonymous said...

“In five hundred years or more, human beings might have both sets of genitalia, male and female. I don’t want this evolution to have started already in cycling…” -Cipo

VAGN PEEN

db said...

Wow, Cipo turned into Abe Simpson even faster than he could sprint in his prime. Strong words from a pretty boy who didn't like hills....

I am an angry engine. said...

Cipollini is saying what?

Racers now don't take enough steroids no to get roid rage?

Not being an asshole is a sigh of weakness?

Racers cant compete like he used to?

There is a reason he is a consultant, and has not had anywhere to go since he retired.

Wow, can I have him as my team motivator?

Oh, that was a bitch of a quiz.

In Pain said...

"Strong words from a pretty boy who didn't like hills...."

You made me snort my afternoon red bull all over the keyboard.

The sentence fragment of the week.

Bravo.

Dann said...

Thought I recognized that Hillborne on the bike rack on that Big Dummy page! That guy rides past my work all the time. Caught up with him a couple months back on my commute and we chatted a bit about his bike. Very nice ride, with leather luggage and all.

Anonymous said...

Those are the most Lob-awful pics I ever seen up here in this blog, and that's saying something.

Nice curling shot, BTW.

Ohio said...

It's spelled Cincinnati. And there's no such thing as "golf leaf," either. I looked it up.

Buffalo Bill said...

Mark!

Anonymous said...

@Another Canuck @ 3:06 and all you kids out there:
Now wait just a minute jeez I'm tellin' ya kids ya can't compare yourself to Bobby Orr ... there's nO WAY!
So all you kids out there, all ... I'm sayin' is ... now WAIT just a minute all I'm sayin' is don't go comparing yourself to a guy like Bobby 'n all that no matter HOW good you think you are ...
Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention ... listen up jeez I forgot about Phil ... now Phi was another good eyetalyun just like Dino like I SAID he was a good guy 'n that even though he had some problems ...

Frank Eeckman said...

Ikea furnitures assembles much like Ikea bikes

Another Canuck said...

Anon 3:58

Someone's been watching HNIC

I watch just to see his latest jacket

Anonymous said...

I prefer hard tails and I can't stand the Ikea bike, or anything else which increases the smugness factor of 'those who ride without cassettes'.

Not all mountain bikes come from Wal Mart & some of us actually ride out to the single trail at least some of the time. Cumberland park isn't that far, upstate is worth a night camping.

There! You see! Those damn rolling V shaped cabinets have me insecure already!

I'd like to see an Ikea corporate executive bomb the alp's in one of these deathtraps out of solidarity with his American "co-workers".

Anonymous said...

That curling babe is a bit wide at the bottom, but I'd bounce her pretty face off the wall a few hundred times. It got some canadian bacon for yaq right here!

B. Sanders said...

Poor people on welfare create jobs, so fuck you.

Anonymous said...

first?

bikesgonewild said...

...at least 'big mario' backs up 'little mario' with some balls...

...not to get all don 'grapes' cherry on ya but i agree with 'cipo'...that little tour de lovefest was uncomfortable, at best...in light of the chain incident, it was embarrassing to see the two main protagonists stroking each other on the podium...

...schleck shoulda said 'fuck you, amigo"

...man up, kick some ass & buy your boyfriend a drink once the race hits paris & the work is over, bitches...

...sheesh...fucking 'euros' !!!...

crosspalms said...

bgw,
ever considered coaching football?

bikesgonewild said...

...crosspalms...

...nah...like 'grapes' i'm more of an ol' 'rink rat'...

...but are you, sir, calling into question, my attitude & character ???...

...why, you 'pinko' so & so...

crosspalms said...

Make that card-carrying pinko so-and-so. Anyway, "man up, kick some ass & buy your boyfriend a drink once the work is over, bitches..." sounds like a coach's halftime pep talk to me.

Bob Rock'n Roll said...

I have finally realized that the only men who shave their legs are either gay of french. The goes for French Canadians too!

So I have decided to go green and cultivate my leg hair like a natural man, mon.

But I can't decide on which grooming avenue to pursue. Please help me by giving me feedback on the following options;

1. Corn Rows

2. Dreds

3. Dye the hairs red and tell everyone that I'm Gonad O'Brien

4. Relaxed Dreds


Thank You in advance for your meaningful input.

Pontius Pilot Light said...

LXIIth

Pontius Pilot Lights Math Teacher said...

LXVIII

bikesgonewild said...

...crosspalms...

...to go back to the original discussion, i saw young mister schleck as a tour worthy cyclist but also a very naive human being in those circumstances & i saw clentador as a fearful, back stabbing, two faced individual willing to take advantage of his 'friendship' with schleck...

...harsh ???...yep...

...i quite willingly admit to having an attitude about the guy & it was his lack of team play in the 2009 tour than really clinched it for me...his fear of armstrong & his lack of belief in bruyneel in refusing to be a team player, cost armstrong 2nd place, in my opinion...

...2nd, 3rd, hey, no big whoop in one sense but i became an anti-fan...

...i honestly believe his indignation about his present doping situation has more to do with the fact that he felt he learned from the best & 'they' never got caught, so how could he...

...deny, deny, deny but he's grasping at straws...

..."guilty, as charged, your honor"...

Anonymous said...

Bob Rock'n Roll, If your're thinking that much about your leg hair you might still be gay or French. Perhaps, some sort of counter intuitive reverse pshchology could be utilised to attempt to deny your gayness and Frenchness by wearing a flamboyant pink jacket. ce

Anonymous said...

Bob Rock & Roll, go with the ever classic comb-over

Luke said...

I have a corolla of that vintage, and I know for a fact that you can get at least two bicycles into the backseat and one into the trunk. Yes, wheel removal.

can't wait, so i'll be 68 said...

the first bike-polo (is there any other kind?) team to assemble a full compliment of ikea-commissioned-and-quickly-dumped-on-ebaylist custom-colored bicycles quite simply


wins.

(do teams exists or is it more playgroundish?)

wp said...

sexty neun yo

Anonymous said...

Snobby, thanks for the curling clip. I am off to curling practice this morning (ironic). That really was a great shot...fo' rea', fo' rea'. Perhaps Curling will be the next ironic sport for the fixie set. Unless they are in Canada, in that case it is establishment.

I am not the disposable engine said...

"their products are fragile illusions of real furniture, meant to be pitched and replaced after a season or two, and, following as they do the big-box retail model"

From Rick at the Portland bike comments.

Therefore I plagiarize:

Chinese (IKEA) bikes are fragile illusions of real bikes, meant to be pitched and replaced after a season or two"

Anonymous said...

Panties!

leroy said...

A perfect score!

I would have been here sooner, but I put a call in to Cipollini to challenge him to a leg shaving contest using Park Tool pizza cutters.

Still waiting to hear back, which is odd. It's not like Cipo to ignore a challenge.

Ride smooth all!

Bobke 'Sushi' Roll said...

Why is it every time I burp I taste tuna, salmon, baby shrimp, lettuce, cucumbers, and Miso Sauce?

Stranded said...

Those triathletes obviously need to be riding Ikea bikes, or as they are more properly known, Bikeas. You have to give the Ikea folks credit, though: they accomplished what no one else yet has—they built a Seinfeldian bike that is almost as ugly with the fork mounted forward as backwards. But what if, by bizarre coincidence, Ikea managed to outfit the bike with near-Campy quality components? Ten-thousand years from now, when anthropologists are unearthing the remains of our civilization from the mini-ice age that is sure to follow our global-warming-CO2-induced meltdown, they will find two artifacts of our age of cycling: a Bikea and an email from Floyd Landis threatening to accuse the Ikea CEO of designing bikes while using bike-design-enhancing drugs unless the bike is named the Flandis.

Anonymous said...

Bend over; I'll show you a Dutch concern.

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Anonymous said...

Come on Al Gore, time to turn on some rhythm. ce

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Fixie Bikes said...

That's very nice of ikea to do!