Friday, November 5, 2010

BSNYC Friday Fun Quiz!

Firstly, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you of my upcoming BRA (or "Book-Related Appearance.") However, it turns out I don't have any upcoming BRAs (or "Book-Related Appearances") scheduled at the moment, so instead I'll just gratuitously remind you about other things. For example, today is Art Garfunkel's birthday, so remember to send him a card. (Make sure you don't sign it "Here's to you Mr. Garfunkel, Regis loves you more than you will know." It really annoys him.) Also, a week from tomorrow on Saturday, November 13th, there is a cyclocross race on Staten Island:

As I've mentioned before, we're now living in the era known as "Cyclocross 2.0," so given the waterfront venue it is ideally situated for docking the vessel you will require in order to transport all your cyclocross essentials.

Speaking of my book, as I've mentioned before it is now available in the UK and Australia as of this week, and out of curiosity I visited the ".co.uk" URLway of that online retailer named after a popular South American river to see if they had it in stock. I'm pleased to report that they did, but I'm displeased to report that it is not the #1 cycling title on that website. In fact, the #1 cycling book on [insert name of popular South American river here].co.uk is "100 Greatest Cycling Climbs: A Road Cyclist's Guide to Britain's Hills:"

Now, I didn't really expect to be #1, but to be beaten by a book that combines "Greatest Cycling Climbs" and "Britain's Hills" is like releasing an album and being beaten by "Vanilla Ice's Greatest Hits." Mont Ventoux, Alpe d'Huez, the Stelvio--now these are great climbs. Meanwhile, "Britain's Hills" are more like this:



Granted, I haven't ridden Mont Ventoux, or Alpe d'Huez, or the Stelvio, or any of the hills of Britain, so the truth is I have no idea what I'm talking about.

By the way, my book wasn't the #2 cycling title either. That distinction goes to a similarly oxymoronic tome:

Scandalously, rumor has it that the author, a professional cyclist himself, actually consumed pork at certain points in his career to aid in recovery. This is often referred to as "Jewish doping."

Speaking of religion, a reader informs me that noted musician and cycling advocate David Byrne has become an ordained minister and is now marrying people:

("By the power of smugness vested in me...")

I was particularly amused to note that Byrne manages to remind the world yet again that he doesn't have a car, as if we didn't know this already. David Byrne reminds people that he doesn't have a car in the same way that rappers remind their listeners that they're rich, or that "The Only Gay in the Village" reminds people that he's gay. In fact, his book, "The Bicycle Diaries," is perhaps the most "epic" reminder of the author's non-car ownership the literary world has ever seen. Yes, you live in Manhattan where you don't need a car, and when you travel you get chauffeured around. I get it. I'll prick up my ears when he writes a sequel called, "Fuck It, I'm Buying a Hummer."

And now, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you will see folding.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and fold like the wind.

--BSNYC/RTMS




(Mark "The Man Missile" Cavendish administers a self breast exam while conferring with his doctor on a pretend cellphone.)

1. Mark Cavendish doesn't have a problem with:





("It was the vest of times, it was the man-purse of times.")

2. Rapha's "A Tale of Two Cycling Cities" essay includes mention of:








("Good girl, here's a biscuit.")

4. When doing a bicycle component photo shoot for Craigslist, make sure to:






5. Faster than the speed of:




(Permafrost is the new beard.)

6. This winter, the hottest cycling accessory is the:




(Bicycles are Barbie dolls for "hipsters.")

7. This winter, the hottest bicycle accessory is the:




***Special Celebrity Car Ownership-Themed Bonus Question***

("I'd change my outfit but I don't own a car.")

David Byrne owns a car.



105 comments:

PawnShop said...

A quiz on a Wednesday?
It is still Wednesday, right?
Meh.

Anonymous said...

blurst

Name said...

top 3 !!!!!

Name said...

long time don't post.

Anonymous said...

Near the top for Jaeger?

Anonymous said...

::Breakdances::

the wask said...

top 10

Anonymous said...

top 10?

Anonymous said...

NUMR NEUN

Test Tickle said...

balls.

DAVY BYRN said...

Upper left?

Me love you long time said...

PRIK EARS

Desert Rider said...

I would have been on the podium, but I don't have a car...or a ThermaJock.

Joy said...

Regis loves ME, eff-wad.

Desert Rider said...

I'm certain that question #1 should be "All of the above"

mikeweb said...

I don't own a car. But I do own an artisanal windshield scraper that I keep on my coffee table. It was only $49.95.

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne said...

Brrrm brm brm brm brm brm brm, brrrm b’ brrrm,
Brrrm brm brm brm brm brm brrrm b’ brrrm,
Brrrm brm brm brm brm brm brrrm b’ brrrm.
Brrrm brm brm brm brm brm brrrm.

Take me riding in the car, car;
Take me riding in the car, car;
Take you riding in the car, car;
I'll take you riding in my car.

Click clack, open up the door, girls;
Click clack, open up the door, boys;
Front door, back door, clickety clack,
Take you riding in my car.

Climb, climb, rattle on the front seat;
Spree I spraddle on the backseat;
Turn my key, step on my starter,
Take you riding in my car.

Engine it goes boom, boom;
Engine it goes boom, boom;
Front seat, backseat, boys and girls,
Take you riding in my car.

Trees and the houses walk along;
Trees and the houses walk along;
Truck and a car and a garbage can,
Take you riding in my car.

Ships and the little boats chug along;
Ships and the little boats chug along;
Boom buhbuh boom boom boom buh boom,
Take you riding in my car.

I'm a gonna send you home again;
I'm a gonna send you home again;
Boom, boom, buhbuh boom, rolling home,
Take you riding in my car.

I'm a gonna let You blow the horn;
I'm a gonna let you blow the horn;
A oorah, a oorah, a oogah, oogah,
I'll take you riding in my car.

Anonymous said...

SKELETON WITCH

yofilly said...

All questions right except one. Warming suppository was either a really stupid guess or I'm just ahead of my time and need to call my patent lawyer.

Happy weekend all!

leroy said...

One wrong.

Ride safe all!

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

CHEESE ROLL

shmaltz herring said...

NOBR UCHE

wishiwasmerckx said...

Edward "The Kosher Cannibal" Merckstein is truly "the other white meat."

Kevin Watson said...

I kept clicking on "Bottom bracket merkin" for #7 in the hopes that it would be the right answer.

hillbilly said...

good weekend,yall

Neil said...

Who wants a bicycle-mustache ride?

db said...

Looks like I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

leroy said...

Esteemed Commenter DaddoOne --

Oh you kids and your crazy music.

But does Raffi wear Rapha? Inquiring minds want to know.

Frank Eeckman said...

It's Movember after all...

Anonymous said...

That Brompton only takes about three times as long to fold as a Tikit.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

PawnShop said...

Yabbies Test:
It's 36°F outside.
I wore pants.
Penis warmer unnecessary while walking or riding.
I'll keep you updated.
ORGN WRMR

CommieCanuck said...

You can't watch that cheese rolling video and tell me Europeans aren't more sophisticated. I even think I saw a Thermaljock. Cutting edge shit.

CommieCanuck said...

Oh man, I read bruche aloud and now my throat is killing me.

Matt said...

I, too, am ordained through the Universal Life Church and once a year hold a Blessing of the Bicycles, sprinkling my flock from my Holy Water Bottle. I am known alternatively as the Quicker Vicar, the Faster Pastor or sometimes the Pedalphile Priest. I do own a car, though, so am not Orthodox like Fr. Byrne. Bless you my son!

leperkhan said...

the problem with you continually posting about david byrne is that when i see his name i hear his annoying voice in my head. i actually had to put on Seasons in the Abyss to get it out of my head. works for now...

takes a village said...

bike snob,

should i be sensitive to the needs of certain religions when their members are riding their Magnas in prospect park? cause so far i have only been addressing the concerns of those riding with gender issues.i dont want to offend anybody...

Comment deleted said...

Was it something I said?

Anonymous said...

Ty's Chimera here;

So I wrote this novel the main character being a clean living American who wins the TdF seven times. ALL of his main competitors are busted for doping. But our hero is clean as the driven snow.

I've shopped it to more than ten publishers and they all say the same thing, "It's to unbelievable! It'll never sell! This isn't fiction! It's a Friggin Fairy Tale!."

Anyone know of an extremely active alcoholic publisher so zonked out on BigPharma zombie pills that he might believe my b*llsh*t story?

bikesgonewild said...

...cheeses h krist...now there's something to plan your vacation in the british isles around...a visit to the gloucestershire cheese rolling competition...

...makes those 'downhiller' mtb types look like a bunch a' sissies...

BikeC&CNYC said...

PawnShop, I am sorry to inform of the California elections. Tuesday, they voted for no more Wednesdays. At least no Wednesday Weed for the totally healthy.

Salty and Sore said...

Now, I'm curious.

If merkin is now passe, what do you call it shaved into a mustache?

-muskin?
-merstache?
-bushstache?

crosspalms said...

Is that David Byrne's Litespeed?

Anonymous said...

Lovely, Sr. Snob! One of the funniest in a long time. Cheers!

ervgopwr said...

Finally, made it.

So I'm going to this event tonight where Chris Horner's supposed to be. What should I ask him?

leroy said...

"Say your bwuchas, wabbit."

-- Elmer Fuddstein

(Don't look at me, db started the Bugs Bunny references.)

Anonymous said...

racing the broom wagon!! yea bitches!!

bikesgonewild said...

...salty & sore...

...each shape might have a different name so we'd need to see photos simply to make sure we don't misinform you...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Ok, so the hills here aren't as big as some....but some of them are deeply unpleasant to ride a bike up (and the rain'll be horizontal, straight in your face and about half a degree above freezing. In the summer.)

hey nonny mouse

(Scotland)

old hipster said...

Yeah, what happened to the top tube pad?

Also, wasn't the term "fixed gear freestyler" invented on this blog, as an alternative to using the word "track" in reference to things that are unrelated to track?

ringcycles said...

what a miserable quiz performance. Guess I'll go gird my loins for the weekend's races.

hoot79er said...

I broke a hip watching that hill-cheese video thing.

ederton said...

Brifter

Anonymous said...

ManX missile

Jace said...

Speaking of Staten Island, has anyone ridden that ho-made BMX track down by the Kill near Snug Harbor? Last time I saw it (about a year ago) it was looking pretty beat but in its day it must have been da' bomb with loops, jumps even a see-saw!

Anonymous said...

Cheeses K. Reist!

samh said...

Regis does love you more than you will know.

David Byrne said...

Anybody got a car I could borrow for a few days?

PawnShop said...

Yabbies Test Update:
Bath water temp 109°F.
No pants worn.
Penis warmer unnecessary.
Sat on my balls by accident.
I'll keep you updated.
WETS WEAT

Anonymous said...

MORE AXES

cyclotourist said...

www.orinoco.co.uk

kuis student portal said...

top 10. isn't it?

Jay said...

Oh Snob, if "Britain's Hills" wasn't a perfect set up for a Benny Hill video, I don't know what was.

Anonymous said...

...and Jimmy Hill....we know a song about him, don't we?

hey nonny mouse

condor said...

I agree with anonymous from Scotland - while there isn't much over 2,000 feet in the UK, there is no shortage of nasty 20% or 25% climbs scattered about the place.

PawnShop said...

Tarck bike, or Magna?
"He was caught shortly after crashing his getaway bike into a police car."
Still awaiting word as to whether a penis warmer would have improved his pedaling efficiency, or not.
I'll keep you updated.
STIC KMUP

Paul Bowen said...

Why I oughdda...we don't have Alps but we do have climbs. If you doubt me, how about doing a late February BRA in London and riding The Hell of the Ashdown while you're here? I'll buy you a pint afterwards.

bikesgonewild said...

...you bloody brits do have 'the pennines' in the central north...

...does anyone make a 'pennine warmer' ???...

Anonymous said...

As a salty year-round commuter from Minneapolis I was very pleased at your ideas for the 'wrong' answers on the Thermaljock question. Also seeing Callous Cycles in there was great. In regards to the Thermaljock, that's probably the last place I'd want a drawstring tightened around anything.

leroy said...

The Hell of Ashdown sounds challenging, I guess.

But we have the Hell of the North (Brooklyn) in Prospect Park.

The climb starts behind the zoo and ascends to near Grand Army Plaza where one is treated to a soaring vista of the Public Library.

I am not exaggerating when I say it must be at least a 2.5% grade to 30 feet above sea level.

And sometimes you have to dodge kids on trail-a-bikes drafting their parents.

frilly said...

Ervgo--sorry I didn't see your post sooner or I would have said you need to ask him how far up does he think Janez would have finished at TdF if he wouldn't have had to haul LA around for three weeks.

Taylor Hurley said...

BMX tradeup for fixie on craigslist seattle.

ttv said...

wow! that's funny. I like it.

escalante blogger said...

I like that quiz too.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Jewish Cycling Greats

Chapter One: Doug Shapiro

The End.

bikesgonewild said...

...wishiwasmerckx...nice shout-out...

...haven't seen doug in ages but he's just a really nice human being...

...this is a man who was one the the original americans to go to europe, to stand up & be counted...

...always props to dougie shapiro...

離婚 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

離婚 said...

You write very well..

抓姦 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

外遇 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

抓姦 said...

You write very well..

抓姦 said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I would like to invite you to visit my blog.

外遇 said...

You write very well..

偵探社 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

法律 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

尋人 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

討債 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

討債公司 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

債務 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

催收 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

討債 said...

You write very well..

討債公司 said...

You write very well..

應收帳款 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

討債公司 said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I would like to invite you to visit my blog.

債務催收 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

法律諮詢 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

外遇 said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. I would like to invite you to visit my blog.

抓猴 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

蒐證 said...

really that is great post, thanks very much

wishiwasmerckx said...

Wow, I guess that's one way to get to 100 comments.

Anonymous said...

Salut à tous,

Voulez-vous gagner des prix pour pas cher ?

Le site web Bidou.ca est un un site web interessant qui vous donne la possibilite de remporter de super cadeaux sans investir beaucoup!

Venez participer sur: [url=http://bidoubidou.ca/]bidou.ca[/url]

MB said...

Nice frostbike shot from the Stone Arch Bridge!

ekle paylas said...

nice blog Thanks for sharing. voicesohbet was really very nice.
sesli chat siteleri sesli sohbet
sesli sohbet siteleri sesli chat
seslichat seslisohbet
sesli siteleri chat siteleri
sohbet siteleri sesli siteler
voice sohbet sesli sohbet siteleri
sesli sohbet seslisohbet
sohbet siteleri sesli chat siteleri
seslichat sesli chat
herkesburda herkes burda
sohbetmerkezi sohbetmerkezi

Fixie Bikes said...

Staten Island?! NOPE