Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Sweetest Ta-glue: Putting the "Sade" in "Crusade"

As I mentioned yesterday, a cyclist in "full racing gear" recently hit a 73 year-old woman in Central Park and then rode away. To date, this cyclist has not been apprehended. However, thanks to the popular Twitter social networking site, it seems as though the perpetrator may have inadvertently surrendered himself:

He doesn't mention that he also knocked out at least one grandmother (that we know about), but he was probably constrained by Twitter's draconian 140 character limit.

Alas, there was a time when professional cyclists had that quality called "class." In the days of toeclips, downtube shifters, and amphetamines, a rider like Eddy Merckx or Freddy Maertens would always stop and tend to his victim before returning to training. There is an oft-told story familiar to any cycling fan in which Joop Zoetemelk hit an elderly woman and administered seventeen stitches to her using a tubular tire repair kit and the brandy in his bidon for disinfectant and anesthesia. Sadly, the woman died from an infection two weeks later, but even on her death bed she praised Zoetemelk for his gentlemanliness and chivalry. (You can expect Rapha to commemorate this great moment in cycling history soon by offering a $250 Joop Zoetemelk open wound sewing kit, which is the perfect complement to their luxurious and idiotic bespoke suit and absolutely essential for that "epic" ride in which either flesh wounds or wardrobe malfunctions feature prominently.)

It would seem though that those days are gone forever. Now, Alberto Contador attacks Andy Schleck, and George Hincapie totally "coldcocks" some old broad and then just rides away. There was a time you would be honored simply to be a "wheelsucker" behind a pro, but the truth is that the "crabon hoops" of today are simply not worthy of sucking as were the 36-spoke box-section rims of yesteryear. This is why, when I'm seeking that slight aero advantage on my commute, I no longer surreptitiously choose the wheel of the pro or the pro-aspirant (also known as the "Fred"). Instead, I choose wholesome riders such as the Chionesu Bakari youth group:

They may not be fast, but they have integrity.

Speaking of riding competitively when it is not warranted, esteemed commenter "Daddo One" informs me that Senator Scott Brown totally "threw down" at the Pan-Massachusetts Challenge charity ride, and that this Trek TTX was his Fredly weapon of choice:

I was particularly impressed by his choice of foot retention:

The large platform allows for maximum power transfer to the beefy bottom bracket junction, propelling the bike forward with maximum efficiency and leaving other charity riders gasping in your slipstream. Here's a closer look:


Celebrity coaching brand Chris Carmichael says it's a highly effective system, especially when used in conjunction with a power meter of some kind:


Word among the charity ride GC contenders is that Brown had it pinned at "Daring" the whole time:


(By the way, Daddo One is still raising funds for the ride, so if you're feeling either flush or charitable or appreciative of photos of senatorial tri bikes probably purchased with campaign donations, please donate on his behalf here.)

Meanwhile, the finger-mounted power meters of many Williamsburg, Brooklyn residents have gone from "Relaxed" to "Tense," for it seems that an "anti-bike vigilante" who calls himself "The Bike Crusader" is running around and putting a once-popular brand of novelty adhesive in their locks:

"These Yuppies are ruining the whole damn city," says The Bike Crusader, invoking a term that fell out of common parlance back in the 1980s when Jay McInerny and Oliver Stone were still relevant. In fact, between his vocabulary and his choice of adhesive (Krazy Glue was the go-to glue back in the Reagan era) it would seem that The Bike Crusader superglued his mind closed sometime back in 1986 and resolved never to let anything new enter it ever again. (This could be why he missed the boat that took all of his neighbors to Staten Island, a magical land where it is forever the 1980s, over 25 years ago.) So while I'm sure some "hipsters" are very upset that they can't access their IROs, my guess is that The Bike Crusader will soon tire of bicycles and move on to his next target, which will be some other symbol of 1980s "yuppification" such as sushi restaurants, avocados, or the music of Sade. Perhaps he will even reinvent himself as the California Roll Crusader. In the meantime, look for somebody in late-middle age driving a Cutlass with a Greek coffee cup accidentally glued to his fingers and an irrational hatred of cordless phones.

Speaking of artifacts from the 1980s, stylized versions of something once called "bike messengers" still ply the streets of New York City in designer clothing and expensive nylon accessories, which must be why so-called "Hollywood" is making that "Double Rush" movie. Indeed, news continues to pour in from the increasingly beleaguered set, for a reader recently passed by a shoot and photographed this crabon fribé Parlee wonderbike:

I can only assume it will be used in the final chase scene, when the messenger breaks his chain on the hill in Central Park and commandeers some "yuppie" traditional Fred's "whip." However, chances are it won't be nearly as exciting and inspirational as Robin Moore's (otherwise known as "MC Spand-X") new film:



It's going to be like "Rad," only with irony.

Meawhile, the fixed-gear trend has elephant trunk-skidded its way to New Zealand, though it seems to have left its trademark irony behind. In fact, the media covering the trend seem to be more ironic than the participants, for a reader recently sent me this video in which an interviewer clad only in bib shorts speaks to a fixed-gear scenester:

Then, they all gather in the studio where they discuss the usual fixie clichés, like the one about how not having brakes makes you a safer rider, and at no point did the riders evidence any indication that they had any awareness of how silly any of this was:

I did learn something new, though, which is that they don't call it "fixed-gear" in New Zealand. Instead, they have a completely different term for it, which is "foxed ghee." I'm not sure where the term "foxed ghee" comes from , but as far as I can tell it's some sort of obscure culinary reference.

Lastly, from Brian in Minneapolis (the number one bike city in the United States, but only because they didn't wait for Portland when it dropped its chain) comes this inspiring cockpit:

This cockpit contains three of my favorite elements: bar ends; creatively-mounted mountain bike levers; and of course marble bar tape:

Using marble grip tape on your bike is the equivalent of sponge painting your walls--both of which are sure to infuriate The Bike Crusader.

125 comments:

Anonymous said...

1st!

Anonymous said...

full pod?

Anonymous said...

full pod!

agent detroit said...

top ten bitches!

Astroluc said...

smooth operator

agent detroit said...

actually, i'm second. one can't be in three places at a time....

Anonymous said...

I am Scott Brown and I ride a trek

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten.

Daddo said...

Thanks Snob!

And hey all:

Better linkway to my page here:
http://www.pmc.org/egifts/AS0173

ken e. said...

duh!

le correcteur said...

Top 20; just missed top 10. But I don't do drugs.

Anonymous said...

That vigilante should take the next step in immobilizing those bieks on Bedford: add his own locks!

VIGL ANTE

Bad Lawyer said...

Snob--

With your Joop Zoetemelk fairy tale--you have fully retunred to post-book and post-partum form. Hooray!
BL

hillbilly said...

Those kids look a lot better than what'll be at Floyd later. Does the Crusader realize that supergluing the locks will make them harder to remove from the poles?

cheva said...

top twenty - Canadian gold

Anonymous said...

Foxed ghee!

PawnShop said...

It may be called Krazy Glue, but the effect of cyanoacrylate fumes on the eyes is no laughing matter.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Jefe said...

Ghee is a type of clarified butter used in Indian cooking. Foxed ghee a more clever version used to lubricate single-speed bicycle chains. It's all on Wikipedia for the next several minutes ... whoops ... it was changed.

PawnShop said...

This "Bike Crusader" dude takes the cake.
"Every pole in the neighborhood is littered with [locked bikes]".
Really?
Is that what gets him so bent out of shape?
What does he need them for - a little 4AM pole humping?
We might want to add Izod shirt & Members Only jacket to the description on the APB - some seriously dated douchery is afoot.

OFFM YLWN

hillbilly said...

don't need an APB, Brooklyn Paper knows who it is. I understand protecting sources, but isn't protecting criminals different?

Fred said...

So let me see if I've got this straight: dude is pissed at bikes parked on the sidewalk. Dude glues shut all the locks. Now the bikes are permanently on the sidewalk.

It seems like the kind of well conceived social critique you'd expect from Vito or Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

Bike locking is not a crime.

Actually, seriously, it's not a crime.

Anonymous said...

Pawn Shop, I would imagine that people would be upset if I collected refrigerators and, after deciding that I had no room inside, put them out on the sidewalk instead. What's different with bikes?

Anonymous said...

Fred, I think it works like this: people leave their bikes on the street for convenience (no need to schlep it inside). When you gum up the locks, there goes their convenience. Short term pain for long term gain? And no, I'm not the culprit, but I can understand the motivation.

Anonymous said...

So if you don't have a garage to store your car in, are you littering the streets with your vehicle?

hillbilly said...

anon 131, do you mean the original locking, or the damaging of personal property that is a crime on the part of the Crusader

Anonymous said...

weird crew in here today

hillbilly said...

not really though anon139. I thought about that, but doesn't really work in this case, as the people you are targeting are not doing anything illegal. As the lockers have the law on the side, it won't discourage the behavior you are offended by, it will just motivate people to stop you (the criminal in this case)

PawnShop said...

Replace 'bikes' with 'cars', and see how much room they take up. The Vigilidiot isn't gluing car locks, is he?

Fred said...

Also, yesterday I made a very trenchant comment regarding Mario Cippolini, cocaine and old ladies, etc. that appeared briefly and then vanished.

Granted this is a good analogy for most Freds' sexual technique, but it still hurt my feelings.

Mainly what I wanted to do was contribute to the broken seatpost conversation by adding the obligatory links to pics of uber-hardwoman Cindy Whitehead and her epic, saddle-less ride to victory in the Sierra 7500.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 1:40pm and others,

While widely tolerated, it's technically not legal to lock your bike to a street sign in New York City. Similarly, while widely tolerated, it's technically not legal to double-park your car during street cleaning in New York City.

So I think the car equivalent of The Bike Crusader would be someone who puts Krazy Glue in the door locks of cars while they're double-parked during street cleaning.

--BSNYC

Jefe said...

Anonymous 1:33: Are you saying I must remove the refrigerator from in front of my house? But, I need to lock my bike to it.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Fred,

It disappeared!?! I assure you it was not me!

--BSNYC

Fred said...

Snob,
I didn't think it was you. I blamed a newly evil popular search engine and blogging software provider.

You, of all people, have an appreciation for photos of Cindy Whitehead, I would think.

michel chavaniac said...

The glue crew are idiots. Someone will catch them and administer proper u-lock justice. Any victim may make a police report and the DA will ignore it. If the NYPD is too lame to investigate then pressuring the "reporter"
that wrote the article for the brooklyn paper seems in order.

Anonymous said...

brown is a tri-geek. he doesn't know any better.

Anonymous said...

WITE MOOD

bikesgonewild said...

...i always thought they spoke english in new zealand...

...but, hey...live n' learn...

hillbilly said...

snob, as much as I love you, I'm not sure that's true, or at least it is oversimplified. We need Bad Lawyer.

New York State law forbids interference with traffic signs and street
fixtures, but does not forbid attaching bikes or motorcycles to them:
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/nycodes/c128/a48.html

Bike riders routinely chain their bikes to street signs and meter
posts. Sites discussing bikes reaffirm that it is not illegal to do
so, but caution that police officers have been known to abuse their
broad authority to determine whether such chaining is "interfering"
with public access:

http://www.transalt.org/press/releases/041203abandonedbikes.html
"According to New York State Vehicle and Traffic Law one may not
alter, knock down, cover, remove, or interfere with the operation of
public traffic signals and signs and other street fixtures. It is
against New York City law to lock a bicycle to a tree because the
bicycle and lock could harm and potentially kill the tree; people
should never lock bikes to trees."

bikesgonewild said...

...cindy whitehead: hard n' tough as a box of nails...soft n' sweet as a bag full a' kittens...

...& what, ummm, shall we say, an awesome "bike parking apparatus"...

Anonymous said...

But isn't a sidewalk a public right of way easement? I can't block it with a car or a refrigerator.

bikesgonewild said...

...if you store your bike in a refrigerator that's chained to a traffic sign pole, does it not then become a city parking garage ???...

...just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Horner is nonplussed

Daddo said...

People, people!!

We all agree that bikes locked to signs in large numbers makes for an ugly scene. We also agree that this vigilante is a mean SOB who is overreacting and actually making his so called situation worse.

Can't we agree with the solution?
We need more bike racks!

Someone get David Byrne on the phone!

g said...

I think it's safe to say that you could get this guy riled up with a discussion of the change of racial/ethnic make up of the neighborhood as well.

Once again, the press has made a hero out of an idiot.

DPKG IMUL
Don't Put Krazy Glue In My U Lock!

mikeweb said...

Hey, sorry I'm late - I had a big problem getting 5 of my 'project' bikes unlocked from a street sign. Had to find the right kind of solvent to unfreeze the lock.... what'd I miss?

Anonymous said...

The picture you linked is clearly marked COW ghee. It has nothing to do with FOX ghee. And how many vixens to you you have to milk to make a pint of fox ghee anyway?

bikesgonewild said...

...put together a crew & catch him "at work" some night...

...strip him down, bend him over & 'superglue' him taint first to a parking pole...

...then anonymously call both the newspapers & the authorities & suggest he be arrested for "illegal use of city property"...

...see how he likes being interviewed a second time...

..."don't krazy glue bike locks, bro !!!"...

Bad Lawyer said...

I wonder if you can get the Scott Brown pedal in titanium?

Anonymous said...

I don't think there is any defending the glue lock vigilante, he is vandalizing personal property and that's a crime. And if caught I think he should have soundly beaten. a sort of message to anyone else who thinks its okay for fuck with other peoples stuff just because it annoys them. Also I don't think it's illegal to lock a bike to a street sign. I've been doing it for years and haven't received a ticket and you know the NYPD's proclivity for writing tickets and collecting fines. lets find glue lock vigilante and deliver some good old fashion street justice. Of course i don't really care as I live in manhattan and therefore keep my bike in a secured temperature controlled bike storage room in the basement of my luxury doorman building.

Test Tickle said...

SADE LOVE

balls.

yogisurf said...

I just wasted 6+ minutes of my life watching the NZ Fixie video.

Anonymous said...

Since this is legal day; can you get sued if someone trips on a bike locked up on your side walk like you can by someone tripping on a crack?

CommieCanuck said...

I don't think there is any defending the glue lock vigilante, he is vandalizing personal property and that's a crime. And if caught I think he should have soundly beaten.

Someone should crazy glue the vigilante's asshole shut, as he obviously isn't using it.

Vigilante is a great name for a bike.

Anonymous said...

CommieCannuck:
Yes, he is- it's his asshat.

CommieCanuck said...

personally, I think it's a hoax, perpetrated by the makers of Crazy Glue, as that shit is really useless when it matters.

Clark Nikolai said...

Why doesn't this guy campaign for bike lanes so people wouldn't be forced to ride on the street and for bike racks so they had somewhere to lock them up?
And why is the newspaper keeping his identity and not just telling the police who he is?

In Hamburg neighbourhoods where people don't have storage space in their apartments they've made wooden houses that are on the corners that I assume that you can rent or something.
http://www.rad-spannerei.de/blog/2007/04/18/hamburger-fahrradhaeuschen/
http://www.nationaler-radverkehrsplan.de/praxisbeispiele/anzeige.phtml?id=2015
Inside each door is a triangular room and a hook that the bike hangs on vertically.

They're called Hamburger Fahrradhäuschen which is probably yet another culinary reference. Little houses made of ground beef with wheels on them likely made out of digestive biscuits.

Anonymous said...

I think locking a bike to a street sign is not illegal. If it's illegal, point to the law, or point to a case of someone getting a fine for locking a bicycle to a street sign.

If something's not specifically banned by law, then it is legal.

I mean, there are plenty of real laws that almost everyone on a bike breaks. No need to make up new ones.

Jefe said...

Anonymous 3:18 -
Is that someone tripping "on a crack" or "on crack"? There is a significant legal difference. The former can sue you. The latter just wants more crack.

CommieCanuck said...

They're called Hamburger Fahrradhäuschen which is probably yet another culinary reference.

German is an awesome language. During the T-Mobile days, the Giant team bikes had German labels that read: "Giant Mannschaft".

Now, only the Columbia bikes have this.

CommieCanuck said...

MANS HAFT

Anonymous said...

I believe the crusader's quote was actually that the "Yuppies are running the whole damn city." Which is an even stranger thing to accuse these bicycle owners of than ruining the city.

bikesgonewild said...

...sounds like a lesbian conspiracy...

..."die, mannschaft"...

BikeSnobNYC said...

Hillbilly,

I stand corrected--clearly I am a victim of anti-bike propaganda. I blame "the system." (I still think the double-parking analogy is a good one.)

I think The Bike Crusader also gets his stapler stolen from him a lot at work. Krazy Gluing it to his desk may have been what inspired him.

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

Anyway, it's "foxed" ghee, not "fox" ghee. As in, "with age-related spots or browning."

g said...

While looking up the bike parking law issue, I did see that it's a $115 fine for stopping/standing/parking in a bike lane. Can you collect that at the car door, or do they mail in a check?

Anonymous said...

Forget U-lock justice. If I got the right occasion together I would walk down Bedford Avenue at 4AM and knife in the neck every idiot pouring Krazy Glue into locks, as a form of vigilante justice.
WTF kind of world is this where retards are allowed to live for the sole purpose of causing inconvenience to other people?

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

..."...it's a $115 fine for stopping/standing/parking in a bike lane."...

...i'll bet more time, energy & money was wasted "creating" that law than has ever been collected utilizing that law...

...good, even great in theory...

...in practice, i'm thinkin' not so much...

Jefe said...

RTMS -

Clearly you are a fan of the movie "Office Space." Remember that the stapler theft victim was not satisfied until he burned the whole place down. Glue today, napalm tomorrow.

gene99 said...

Son of Sam started out getting his dog to pee on bike tires. Or was it his god to eep on ekib serits? Does it really matter?

leroy said...

Well I'll be darned.

It really is true that you shouldn't work with glue products in a poorly ventilated area.

Anon 1:33 -- don't you just hate it when you go to raid the fridge at 4 in the morning only to discover that the icebox is empty, the glue fumes you inhaled are giving you a headache, the fridge you're standing in front of isn't plugged in and isn't even your fridge, you're standing on the sidewalk in your boxers, and you've locked yourself out of your apartment?

I know I do.

hillbilly said...

DP is still a good analogy, definitely. double parking that is, you perverts.

g said...

"...i'll bet more time, energy & money was wasted "creating" that law than has ever been collected utilizing that law...

...good, even great in theory...


Considering the very people that are in charge of administering the enforcement are among the worst at following the law, it's no wonder.

FINE 4COPS

mikeweb said...

in re: stopping/ parking/ standing in bikes lanes...

At exactly 3:38 p.m. this past Sunday afternoon I rode southbound on Jay St. through downtown Brooklyn, and - get this - there was not a single bus, car, truck, cop car, etc. parked in the bike lane. I ride that street in both directions at least 8 times a week and that is the first time I witnessed the bike lane totally clear.

I attribute this to Con-Ed and the NYPD cutting back on overtime, so there was no need for their cars and trucks to idle with the A/C on for an entire 8 hours, doing nothing.

g said...

When I lived in Atlanta, the bike lanes were seen as a place to stack your yard waste and overnight guests. I can see this law, with some minor adjustments, being a huge revenue stream there. The only real issue is the relative lack of bike lanes in which one could enforce it.

bikesgonewild said...

..."FINE 4COPS"...double entedre...

...& mikeweb...how gullible do you think we are ???...without fotos, meh, you got nothin'...

PawnShop said...

Do Not Lock Anything To My Flower Box

A long time ago ( during the Presidency of Les King Jr. ) in a galaxy not very far away, I too engaged in vandalism involving Krazy Glue. It was very personal vandalism directed at the neighborhood cranky guy. A distinguishing characteristic is that I did not advertise my actions. It was not my intention to incite others to do my dirty work for me. Indeed, I might have felt cheated by his locks getting glued, if I wasn't the one doing it. Apparently, my Karmic payback is that when I go to mow the lawn, I'm obstructed from time to time by fixies gently chained to the trees on the boulevard ( probably not - more likely it's just the lads at the Pretentiously Curated Tile Emporium next door getting to and from work and running out of convenient poles to lock them to ).

The obvious solution to the Gluetard's problem is installing more bike racks in more locations. It would be the solution to my problem too, if I thought it was a problem. It's not.

Lob abhors a vacuum, and old Gluetard has ripped open a hole in the irony-space continuum.

I'm going to guess that the pole-humper is the kind of marginally-read idiot who thinks that "may you live in interesting times" is a blessing rather than a curse, and that "begging the question" is the act of actually raising a particular question. He's about to run headlong into the law of unintended consequences.

The First Rule of Glue Club is you don't talk about Glue Club. He's talked - and let's lay to rest any notion that the reporter should be compelled to reveal the asshat's identity. He actually has a journalist's duty to "protect his confidential source", as distasteful to me as that is in the current instance.

He's gone on the record advocating vigilantism - frontier justice - in one of the oldest cities in America. He's chosen as his target, the group of skinny people most likely to be fit enough to kick his ass ( or Lob forbid hold him down and Krazy Glue his eyelashes together in a fit of counter-vigilantism ) when he's caught. And he will be caught - the circumstance requires it.

He just paid full-fare for a First Class ticket to Interesting Times.

GLUE TARD

Sigurd said...

There is a douche in the Matrix.

Anonymous said...

@g (2:39): just curious how you think the neighborhood has changed? Richer, whiter and more douchey? This is the home of hardcore luxury. That was funny (yesterday).

g said...

Anon 6:04,
I have no idea how it may or may not have changed. I was suggesting Captain Krazy Glue, in addition to hating bikes and the ilk who lock them on his street, probably has other issues with those around him (in a stereotypical old neighbor kind of way). e.g. It was really nice around here before it went all white, upper class. It wasn't as funny as I had hoped. My mistake.

Peter said...

Maybe the better solution is at night to bring the bike inside?

ringcycles said...

I'm not current on my tri-geek charity ride technique; keeping your swim fins clipped in helps with transitions out of the feedzone, as that it?

Anonymous said...

damn, today's a great day to be a New Zealander. i'm embarassed. I'm looking at adding another cog to my cassette just to try and balance out the fuxie kuds around here!

Cognorant said...

To the bike crusader...

You live with 1.5 million people on a 22 square mile island. For gods sake man, if you don't like the by products of that situation get the hell out!

Sam Kinison said to starving people living in the desert..."MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS".

Your Cyanoacrylate vigilante douchebag is starving for open spaces and he needs to move to the dessert...or at least Akron OH, or maybe New Jersey.

I am the "No way Jersey" engine said...

cognorant:

Jersey?
Do they allow bikes in Jersey?
No body moves willingly to Jersey.

I think you need to buy a hummer if you move to Jersey.

Stupid Name said...

"Giant Mannschaft"

What the fuck is Giant Mannschaft.

Long dong silver?

Auf Deutsch said...

Giant Mannschaft = Team Giant

Hamburger Fahrradhaeuschen = little bicycle house of Hamburg

Desert Dweller said...

We have plenty of assholes out here already! Keep your morons.

cambio said...

of the 83 comments on "The Brooklyn Paper's" article, the best said "widen the sidewalks". I would add "take out a couple of parking spaces in each block & install bike corrals like they have in Portland" (with some heavy duty bollards street-side).

there's another old tale about a bike thief who was caught in the act and was promptly locked to a pole with the bike owner's u-lock around his neck and the key dropped through the sewer grating...this would only work if the crusader is caught before ruining your lock...and if it's a mini evo, you'd have to lock his (?) ankle...

Anonymous said...

English translations to german are equally amusing, especially germanic names:

Ronald Rain (Ronald Reagan)

L Frank Tree (L Frank Baum)

Ken Asshole (Ken Ashlock a one time reporter in Phila - I think his name was Ken but either way there are a lot of Ashlocks out there)

Heather Empty-hole (Heather Locklear)

Chris of the Beak (Chris Horner)

Not sure how to translate Leipheimer. Leib (belly or body) sounds similar and Heim is home so home's body/belly?

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Just or Exactly White is Eben Weiss

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob,

I am alarmed by the frightening lack of the word "douche" or associated "douche" rooted words in your last post. This is in stark contrast to the comforting abundance of said words in posts of previous days.

Please remedy the situation as soon as practical. Perhaps I could even be so bold to suggest a discourse or even the development of a lexicon concerning said words.

Sincerely,

A concerned douche

bikesgonewild said...

..."He actually has a journalist's duty to "protect his confidential source"..."...

...i believe that only applies when the source is acting as a stool pigeon, whoops, i mean revealing a happenstance other than his own actions...

...in this case, the journalist is an active participant by not informing the police...

...if 'krazy glue' were to reveal his actions to his lawyer, that would protected by client, attorney privilege...

...now, if he revealed it to his priest, he'd better be protected by god himself 'cuz the priest might be looking to turn states evidence to save himself from that "other thingy" he's involved with...

Entitled White Guy said...

I'll do what I want when I want. The hell with anyone else. And I expect the mayor to fully support me.

Office furniture said...

That vigilante should take the next step in immobilizing those bikes on Bedford: add his own locks! I would imagine that people would be upset if I collected refrigerators and, after deciding that I had no room inside, put them out on the sidewalk instead.

Exactly White Guy said...

I'll do what the wife says. The hell with my plans if Snob Jr. starts crying. At least Vito might lend a hand I bribe him with confectionary bananas. (ce)

Jen said...

@ DoucheAnon 11:42
Perhaps Snobby was too spent from wedging "underpants" up the NYT's column inches to engage in his usual extended bouts of wordplay.

http://travel.nytimes.com/2010/08/15/travel/15Prac.html

FROG SHWR

Anonymous said...

Sorry, my Douchment at 3:35 is even less intelligible than normal. I was rewording Entitled White Guy's comment as one might imagine Mr Snob (aka Mr Exactly White - thanks Anon 9:49) would. The tenuous suspension of disbelief that might have existed was well and truly snuffed out when I put my own initials at the end.
On a different note, I would dearly love to see a draconian (by which I mean offenders get their blood sucked out by vampires, not the other less interesting one) crackdown on sidewalk bicycle parking in your far away city, solely because a mini folding bicycle craze of fukst ghee magnitude would provide years of material for Mr Snob. Hilarity would ensue. ce

CommieCanuck said...

@g (2:39): just curious how you think the neighborhood has changed? Richer, whiter and more douchey?

All neighborhoods are getting more douchey, it's a law of physics. Since the big bang, entropy and douchiness in the universe is steadily increasing.

Anonymous said...

Prevention is better then cure - always make sure you store your cycle in a secure storage unit.

Have you seen the cycle storage units from Asgard?

The link is http://www.asgardsss.co.uk/detail.php?pro_code=Add2&cat_level=0&cat_code=0

Clark Nikolai said...

Neat bike storage sheds there at Asgard.

Here in Vancouver, the transit system has bike lockers that one can rent by the month. Useful for commuters who bike from home to the Skytrain but don't need their bike the rest of the trip to work. It's very cheap, $10 a month.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephen_rees/3850501949/
Inside there are two wedge shaped compartments. One for each side.

Fargo has these:
http://www.cityoffargo.com/attachments/767e5140-6a8e-4994-a197-ac42301a79c7/Revised%20Bike%20locker%20flyer.pdf

There's these ugly looking things:
http://www.governmentauctions.org/uploaded_images/storager-755616.jpg

And then of course these things:
http://www.biketree.com/


Eben Weiss = Just Knows.

Anonymous said...

here's a new link for the salmon crash video

Anonymous said...

很多男人包二奶就是因為看準天高皇帝遠、老婆難以發覺,
更遑論是大陸抓姦的困難度;
於是現在很多徵信社都提供大陸抓姦的服務,
希望藉由大陸抓姦幫助台商老婆鞏固權益,
大陸抓姦也可以給包二奶的男人警惕!
您是否擔心老公包二奶?
擔心大陸抓姦難以成功?
找對徵信社,大陸抓姦其實不困難!

Anonymous said...

清一色女子偵探,不僅專業更能將心比心;
您的委屈,女子偵探了解!
您的權益,女子偵探絕對捍衛!
把您的委屈告訴女子偵探
女子偵探的專業體貼幫助您更順利解決問題!

Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

Anonymous said...

出軌的人往往否認到底,此時您需要外遇蒐證讓對方啞口無言!
合法徵信社全省都有據點,您有外遇蒐證需求嗎?
一通電話,我們提供全省外遇蒐證服務;
我們了解您的外遇蒐證問題的急切,
一旦接受委託馬上成立專案,迅速外遇蒐證給您完整鐵證!

Anonymous said...

好友說懷疑老公外遇,於是我建議她從手機、發票、電腦中進行外遇調查
果不其然,從發票上的外遇調查行動上發現他們常去的溫泉旅店!
由於好友的求助,我和老公刻意製造在與對方在溫泉旅店巧遇的假象,
再由老公出面去好言相勸,也因此順利化解了可能的婚姻危機!
有所懷疑就要趕快進行外遇調查,不然事態可能會更加嚴重;
外遇調查真的需要技巧,後續解決更需要訣竅,
幸好朋友及時進行外遇調查與補救動作,成功化解了婚姻危機!

Anonymous said...

因為她,你變得冷漠不已。曾經我也不想去抓姦
因為我還存有著絲絲希望你回頭,所以一直不願意抓姦
然而兩年過去,你以為我不敢抓姦而誇張甚至與她同居在外。
我真的不敢抓姦嗎?我只是不願意;我想,該是抓姦的時候了,
打開這扇門,是該面對現實的時候了...

Anonymous said...

他在工作上的自信讓她深深被吸引,他的追求更讓她沒半刻猶豫的說yes!
後來她才知道,她只是他的婚外情
即使如此,她還是愛他,因為他告訴她,婚外情只是短暫的,不久的將來,他會離婚!
就這樣,她甘於婚外情的第三者角色,癡癡盼望著男人會離婚。
然而幾年過去,男人找到了另外更年輕貌美的女人,
展開了他另一段美麗的婚外情
而她這段過去式婚外情的心酸,卻連向別人抱怨的資格都沒有...

Anonymous said...

聰明的您面對愛情是否變的盲目?
婚前徵信幫助您鑑定對方!
想要步入婚姻的您是否有許多疑惑?
婚前徵信用真實證據告訴您答案!
愛情騙子如此之多,不要成為下一個者,
婚前徵信為您揭開愛情騙子的假面具!
婚前徵信就像是掃描器,為您檢視出潛在性的問題!
婚姻是人生大事,您需要婚前徵信協助您深思熟慮!

Anonymous said...

通姦是一種慣性行為,如果沒有給予教訓,
那麼很可能會有第二次、第三次的通姦行為產生!
如果面對伴侶通姦,睜一隻眼閉一隻眼等於是默許伴侶通姦的推手!
想要解決通姦問題您需要及時行動,不要讓通姦問題持續困擾著您,
請讓我們給您最專業的協助!

Anonymous said...

她知道老公有了外遇,即使內心是想要感情挽回的,
但是擺脫不了受害者的角色,她動輒吵鬧、刻薄的言語...
這些與感情挽回背道而馳的動作讓老公原本愧疚的感覺逐漸消磨!
孩子也想要幫助媽媽感情挽回,但是媽媽總是以受害者自居,
想要感情挽回、但是內心與表現卻總是充滿憤怒!
最後,這段婚姻當然無法感情挽回,終究以離婚收場...

Anonymous said...

徵信公司是您解決問題的好夥伴,
不需要顯赫背景、不需要雄厚靠山,
一通電話,我們徵信專員就能提供您絕佳的徵信服務,
24小時不打烊的專業徵信服務,
外遇抓姦、離婚協助、婚前調查、工商徵信、尋人查址等各種疑難,
徵信都能提供快又迅速的專業服務!

Anonymous said...

徵信協助保障您知的權益,
徵信協會提供各種問題諮詢,解答您對徵信的疑惑!
徵信協會提供各種糾紛排解,維護您的徵信權益!
依法設立、非營利為目的徵信協會
各種問題,歡迎與徵信協會聯絡!

Anonymous said...

合法徵信社,永續經營是我們徵信社的目標,
重視口碑、絕不馬虎辦案,
您的任何問題,讓我們徵信社為您解決,
專業徵信社重視您的權益與隱私,
以您的權益為優先、以您的考量為首要,
把您的問題交給誠信專業優質徵信社

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...

Jesse said...

ElliptiGO fools! Video is AMAZING. Seen any around NYC?http://www.elliptigo.com/product

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