Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Good News for the Poor: You Can Afford to Have Nothing!

Like many people, when I discover something new and exciting I tend to immerse myself in it, almost to the exclusion of everything else. For example, when I discovered the bold and color-coordinated world of fixed-gear freestyling I spent hours and hours practicing barspinzzz in parking lots, under elevated expressways, and on municipal property. Also, I just found out that George Michael was in this underground industrial band back in the 80s, and since then I haven't listened to anything else. Similarly, now that my eyes have been opened to The New Minimalism (not all the way opened, mind you; we minimalists tend to go half-lidded through life) I simply can't get enough of it. I'm now convinced that adopting a fashionably minimalist lifestyle is the key to enlightenment, and fortunately for me, there's paradoxically tons of minimalism out there.

By the way, minimalists should not be confused with "Manimalists," which are of course obsessive fans of the TV show "Manimal:"



Anyway,, my newly-adopted minimalist siblings have been criticized for, among other things, really just being a bunch of rich people with a penchant for Apple products. This couldn't be further from the truth. Consider this post from minimalist blog "mnmlist," which explains that "minimalism isn't just for the affluent:"

First of all, if you didn't figure it out from the above, if you're not "middle class or above" I regret to inform you that, yes, you're poor. This means that, even if you've been living happily and getting along fine despite occupying that income bracket just below what some sociologists and economists variously and somewhat arbitrarily call the "middle class," then you are now poor and should begin acting accordingly. An essential tenet of minimalism is having an overly simplistic worldview, so for the convenience of all minimalists if you're poor please turn to a life of crime and pack your government-subsidized home with lots of unnecessary crap immediately.

If you're still not sure of your class, here's a quick checklist you can use to see if you indeed fit the minimalist definition of "poor:"

1) You own a computer marketed by a company other than Apple;
2) You own a cellular telephone marketed by a company other than Apple;
3) You don't feel the need to turn what you do with your disposable income into a philosophy because you don't have any disposable income;
4) You live someplace other than New York City or San Francisco.

In any case, once you've started acting like the poor person you are, you can then begin to redeem yourself and experience the joys of minimalism by following these simple instructions:

Eliminating unnecessary possessions also means you’ll need a smaller home, which will save on rent and heating/cooling. Buying fewer things means less debt. Spending time with loved ones or doing things you love means you spend less. All of these things are good whether you’re wealthy or not.

It’s true that the poor are often thought of as not having the luxury of even thinking about simplifying, or minimalism. They’re too worried about putting food on the table, or where the rent is coming from, or how to avoid creditors until the next paycheck. And there’s a lot of truth in that. But it doesn’t have to be true: anyone can pause, breathe, and decide to live differently.


Say what you will about minimalists, but if it wasn't for them who would tell the poor people of the world that they should live in smaller homes and buy fewer things? And can you believe that some poor people don't even think about how they can simplify their lives? What's with that anyway? The poor are so self-involved! Consider the people who live in these houses in Africa:

Do they really need all that thatching? Isn't it a bit excessive? They should really consider more minimalist roofing options. Why can't those three families just become minimalists, stop wasting thatching, and start sharing a single home like this?

Not only is it minimalist, but it's also "green," so those poor people can finally start helping us to "save the Earth."

Or what about these people in the Amazon?

(Is this boat really necessary?)

I bet that big house is cluttered with nets, blow guns, and bows and arrows. Can't they just downsize to something more elegant and "sustainable," give all their hunting equipment away on Craigslist, and consolidate by buying the new Apple iSpear? Seriously, if they can only count up to five then why do they need so much stuff?

If only poor people would put more thought into their lifestyle, the world would be a better and more minimalist place. Meanwhile, while poor people are frittering their lives away by working to feed themselves and their families, minimalists are reaching levels of self-denial that would amaze even the most devout yogi. Believe it or not, some of them aren't even buying iPads:

Just think about that while you're slurping thin gruel in your straw hovel.

Of course, a key component of minimalism is the bicycle, and almost all minimalists either own one or plan to own one. However, don't confuse this with actually riding the bicycle, for in the minimalist universe bicycle ownership is less about riding the bicycle and more about bragging about not using a car. Consider the author of the "mnmlist" blog, who recently moved to San Francisco and went "car-free:"

We’ve gone car-free, which is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. It’s almost impossible to do on Guam, for many reasons, though we did manage to go car-lite while we were there. Today, we walk and take transit everywhere, and it’s easy. We plan to get bikes soon.

Like Manhattan, San Francisco is one of those places where in many ways it's actually more difficult to own a car than not to own one. In this sense, bragging about being "car-free" in San Francisco is kind of like bragging about being "goose down parka-free" in Miami. Meanwhile, the "mnmlist" couldn't be "car-free" in Guam (instead opting to be "car-lite," which I guess means he didn't drive to the bathroom), which is a tropical island of only 209 square miles:

Even the most feeble "fixter" could probably cover the entire island on an IRO in a couple of days. You'd think in the interest of minimalism he could have at least traded his car for a scooter.

Meanwhile, as it happens, a number of readers have informed me that the BBC ran an article about minimalism yesterday:

The article profiles minimalists like Kelly Sutton:

By now, the "minimalist" pattern should be familiar: a person who lives in a trendy neighborhood with thousands of dollars of designer electronics renounces a bunch of stuff nobody uses anymore anyway. He also has a website, on which he says it's impossible to own nothing, even though it's entirely possible:

Then he lists his many possessions and reveals that he's getting rid of everything that's not expensive, trendy, or both:

He has sold his Fuji track bike and accessories, though, which could indicate that either his minimalism is about to reach the next level of austerity--or, more likely, he's about to buy a Mini Cooper. You'll notice he's also sold all the books about sex and marriage, having finally come to terms with the fact that he'll never get "laid" again.

Meanwhile, the other guy in the article is a professional couch-surfer:

"Back in the day," this form of minimalism used to be known as "freeloading." He's also only just realizing things about records that the rest of the world figured out in like 1986:

"Things like records snap and wear down over time. It's upsetting."

Though it is worth noting that records tend to last quite a lot longer when you have a home instead of a backpack.

Speaking of minimalism, I recently took delivery of a non-minimalist bicycle for testing:

It is an Electra Ticino 8D, and here is what it looks like when it is assembled:

I will share with you my impressions of this bicycle once I've spent some time with it, but my first ride was a "comfy" one, and I felt like an utter dandy despite my slovenly attire:

In the meantime, should you see me "palping" this genteel bicycle about town, please feel free to greet me in the traditional "minimalist" manner:

(Minimalists greet each other by holding aloft their iPhones.)

One thing I will say about the Ticino is that it provides for a rather upright riding position--though not quite as upright as an ElliptiGO, as photographed by "Daddo One:"

I wish the minimalists would move on to these and leave bicycles alone.

175 comments:

Duder said...

First!!

jj said...

hi!

Ian McCarty said...

Podium?

Anonymous said...

Dang, Brah!

Stump said...

i'm doing minimalist work today

rainer said...

Top 10!

Anonymous said...

umph...

PawnShop said...

Meh.

Anonymous said...

Top 10?

El Guadzilla said...

Btw, excellent Manimal reference. I used to love that show as a kid.

Pontius Pilate said...

HAIL CSZR

-P.P.

Anonymous said...

Respectable top 15

Anonymous said...

I know tons of poor people in New York City

The Pineapple said...

A macbook, a Kindle, and an iPad... yeah, real minimalist. I guess he made the ultimate minimalist sacrifice... he gave up on minimalism. (Really...there's nothing happening on that website or blog in nearly a year.)

Nogocyclist said...

I almost got 100% on the quiz today. Only missed one.

Snob, you nailed it today. All I can say is, how can someone with thousands invested in personal electronics consider themselves minimalists when there are people in the world who don't even own a kitchen sink?

mikeweb said...

The ElliptiGO rider is a stand-up guy.

eagleapex said...

Someday there will be a cure for sleep or some capsule hotels and I won't even need a house. True urban minimalism!
Work: coffee shop/coworking space
Play: well, anywhere
Shower: gym
Stuff: sold/storage
Sleep: capsule hotel/Polyphasic sleep/future cure

I can imagine a future where sleep is a unnecessary luxury for the rich.

Regina said...

Augh! I realize you touched on this in your post on Thursday about that other minimalist, but I have to paste this additional material from the Mnmlist site, because AUGH:

"Obviously I own more than this, if you count shared items. A couple of couches, a bed, a dresser, TV, an Apple TV, a TV stand, a dining room set, dishes and pots and pans, food, a refrigerator, a digital camera, soap and shampoo. Books — less than 10 now that I’ve recently given away most of them. Not to mention the things the rest of my family owns that I don’t use. The items listed above are just my personal items, owned only by me."

OBVIOUSLY. I'm especially fond of the line "Not to mention the things the rest of my family owns that I don’t use." I am imagining him looking longingly at the colored pencil set someone's enjoying, or the family playing a board game... or he's home alone and just DYING to try the wife's iPad... and he's sitting on his hands: Must. Not. Use.... am MINIMALIST!

Anonymous said...

At least the ElliptiGO has hubs.

Balls.

Jimmy said...

The ElliptiGo is $2200! Very minimal indeed.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what happens when a minimalist realizes how much of their life they are wasting? Or how many thoughts are cluttering their mind?

Minimalists remind me of weight-weenies. Each spends too much time trying to design the "perfect" lifestyle/bicycle instead of getting out and living/riding and overall they lose originality/strength in the process.

Anonymous said...

DC guy's website - http://iamsickboy.com/

Anonymous said...

I worked as a home packer for awhile; packing rich people's stuff into boxes in preparation for a move. I think people in general have way to much crap. I could tell you some stories. At the end of every job I felt compelled to get rid of my extraneous crap.
While it's unfortunate that it's being advocated so badly in columns like those shown, I'm in agreement that a clutter free house can make life a lot less stressful.

Jão said...

Ok, the part about the Amazon wasn't really funny. Some serious prejudice on that one.

dixiecupdrinker said...

0-4. I am so poor.

Anonymous said...

My power went out for a few hours during our "primetime". It was kinda cool.

Joe said...

I love how the one guy talks about how minimalism allows him to "live anywhere and move instantly." a) you can live anywhere anyway, and b) who the fuck needs to move "instantly?" Just like the point you made Monday, what planet to these fools live on? And the dude who got rid of his apartment is just a jerk now. I love how they want to freeload off everyone else so they can be officially minimal.

Tex said...

I feel a lot better about my stuff since I sold that special laptop pannier for a $100 loss on eBay and started using duct tape to lash my computer to the rack on the back of my Merlin.

stiveaux said...

Bikesnob - you are so on fire again. awesome, and I totally agree with the moving guy. Minimalism is great, but what you're lampooning (pretentious for mocking, I guess) isn't quite minimalism.

I didn't mind the Amazon link. No one would complain if they was ridnicks who couldn't count.

Poor and cluttered,
Stiveaux

Bad Lawyer said...

mmmmmmmmmmm
BL

BikeSnobNYC said...

Jão,

That was sort of the point--I was making fun of the "minimalist" and his simplified worldview.

--BSNYC

Desert Rider said...

top 32

hillbilly said...

He has a iMac, an Air, an iPhone, and his wife will get an iPad, and he needs to explain why he won't get an iPad?

Anonymous said...

200 square miles= 20 X 10 miles. I think the thing sounds smaller the second way.

Anonymous said...

It's also funny how most of their minimalism is totally unsustainable. If everyone got rid of their apartments to couchsurf with their friends, they'd all be on park benches.

Joe said...

Hillbilly, he even says "I don't doubt I'll get one eventually." I love it; it's more like a post about "why I don't have an ipad at this exact second." Shouldn't the title actually be "why I will be buying an ipad," since he's admitted to as much.

Desert Rider said...

iSpear!

jlvota said...

I am predicting an epic ElliptiGO/Rapha collabo:

http://www.elliptigo.com/sfla/

Some Guy on the Innernets said...

Damn. I just watched that entire Wham lip-sync-o-rama thinking it was the one with the cool thing they did with the drum solo, but now I think that was a Tears for Fears video or something and I'm thinking waaaay too much about the 80s. We should all just be happy to have survived, I suppose. It actually seemed cool after Disco. Jeez, Snob, thanks for that trip down a scary alley of my memory.

sherpa said...

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that they never list things like, broom, mop, soap, towel, cleaning brush. Even if THEY don't stink, their apartments are going to become havens for rats and roaches. Maybe that is why they have to move out of them and crash on friends couches: to avoid the plague they are breeding in Williamsburg.

Up here in the great white north (Albany) we need our possessions to entertain us during the long dark winters.

Anonymous said...

I always associated George Michaels with this song.

Helen said...

Thank you for this post; the hypocrisy is astounding.

CommieCanuck said...

Snob, that Ticino just screams out for wicker basket, you know, to hold sanitary napkins.

Me said...

Poor people are just so...curious: the inorganic food, the off-brand electronics, the unfashionable vehicles, the neighborhoods overlooked by gentrification, the discount clothing. I could go on but instead I choose to be minimal.

g said...

Can one achieve "minimalism" by just using broader and broader categories?
I have electronics (all the apple and non apple stuff covered), apparel (all the pairs of socks covered), shelter (including all the things that make it livable and maintained), food (include here all cooking and eating utensils and appliances) and transportation (bike, car, boat, float-plane, roller-blades and kick-bike).
That's five. And to avoid upsetting anyone, I will refrain from making a counting remark.
Pretty minimal, I guess.

Moopheus said...

Yeah, this sort of "minimalism" is certainly far from self-sufficiency--they need to be around folks who are not so minimalist. It's like Freegans--while on one hand you can say, it's a sign that our society produces so much spare capacity/waste that you can live off the trimmings, it still requires that someone, somewhere be actually producing stuff.

It's true that Buddhist monks have very few personal possessions, but they live in monastaries that provide a lot of shared resources, like shelter and food. And they also rely on outside donations.

I especially like this line:

"Buying fewer things means less debt. "

Also, buying stuff you can afford and pay for means less debt. Not using credit means less debt. Paying cash for stuff means less debt. Paying off debts means less debt.

Now it's true that much of the growth of our economy of the last 30 years or so was funded by excessive debt, and a lot of people being irresponsible with money. We need to back off from that. But just carrying digital versions of all you junk in an iPad isn't the way to do it.

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

No way, I'm not giving up my blow-gun.

ervgopwr said...

I'm comment number1 I don't recognize any of these other comments.

Nor do i recognize them as competetion in comment racing, for you see, I sold my racing keyboard for the library's here.



TTLY MNML

Regina said...

@sherpa -

I'm guessing cleaning supplies fall into the category of stuff he shares with his family. Or maybe stuff his family owns but he never uses! "Sorry, honey, but I can't help you vacuum - you know I'm too minimalist for that."

PawnShop said...

I think I preferred the ElliptiGO the first time around, when it was actually minimalist.

No levers, no cranks, no chain, no brakes, no iPhone. And Chicago to Miami, no less.

jimmynuetron said...

Is it possible that all this Mini-Mall talk is gorilla marketing for Apple? Is Snob playing into their hands? Do androids dream of electric sheep? And of course,
what is the sound of one hand clapping?

Anonymous said...

we will all be poor if the minimalist have their way, given the economy is driven by people buying stuff. Except Apple of course, they will thrive. I'm thinking forced minimalism won't seem quite as quaint to these condescending nobs.

Bearded Rivendell Owner w/Helmet Mirror said...

Chimp marketing, maybe.

mikeweb said...

That Ingo bike is pretty eccentric.

PawnShop said...

They're an absolute blast to ride.

Me said...

@sherpa:

The staff owns those items. Besides, I consider such tasks to be outside of more core competency.

Anonymous said...

Kramer: Well I just got it. Spector gave it to me , he's giving everything away...becoming a minimalist.

George: Is that the guy who likes fat women?

Jerry: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism.

Anonymous said...

minimalism is just another raised level of smug self importance and general douchebaggery from people who in reality are just inexperienced, insecure, uncultured small town posers. hey, douchecunt!- the world exists off of your computer not on it! you phony pigs are just as fake as your precious digital images and indeed just as insignificant too. fuck off already.

Archivist's Cookbook said...

You seems to have been maximizing your possible posts about minimalism.
I'm going to print them out and keep them in my collection of BSNYC posts which I have commented upon.

Anonymous said...

Saw a guy on an elipti-go going up Vail Pass the other day. double crazy..

Anonymous said...

perfect. Thanks.

mikeweb said...

@pawnshop,

That does look like a lot of fun.

streepo said...

a

Matt said...

I like Mr. Car-Lite-in-Guam. Have you looked at the map? About a third of the island is mountainous and not inhabited and a chunk of the rest is U.S. Navy Ammunition storage or air bases. What kept him from being car-free? The brutal winters?

I'm typing this on my iPad after walking to McDonalds for lunch. Does that make me minimalist?

Anonymous said...

Streepo, that's an admirably minimalist comment.

Anonymous said...

I've got to comment on the mnlmst discussing when he may or may not buy an iPad. He won't need it "for at least 2-3 more years." He could easily reduce the number of characters he typed. At least 2 years implies that 2 years is the minimum, he might be able to make it 3 years. So, if he is sure of 2, but not sure of 3, he should write "at least 2 years." However, "at least 3 years" includes 2 years, so the 2 is redundant. We don't really know which he means, so not only is he not being minimalist, but he is being indefinite at the same time.

This is like the guy who says "an average of 20-30", or whatever. An average is a definite number, not a range. If you want to use a range, leave out the "average."

wishiwasmerckx said...

Will I feel bad for these so-called minimalists when, after digitizing the only real archive of their existence, the iPad is lost, stolen, or has the hard drive wiped out by a virus?

"Guppy" Honaker said...

Minimalism and George Michael (I didn't know about his singing before "WHAM") in the same blog. Wonderful. BTW: I'm a huge fan of minimalism and grow your own food as well. (Two chickens, and I grow nearly all my own food.)

- David

Aloe Vera 101
Holistic Health Info.

thegock said...

STUF GONE

Anonymous said...

wiwm:

Perfect! They've outsourced themselves to a machine. Steal the machine you steal their identity!

Wasn't it the fruit-named electronic designing company that at one time railed against becoming a tool of the machine as part of their image building campaign?

Jefe said...

Wow! This minimalism is a real concern. I can apply it to most aspects of my life, just not bicycles. I need those weekly packages of junk from Performance, Nashbar, Jensen USA, Bike Bling, etc.

Jefe said...

I really just wanted to post this picture of me in last Saturday's Capital Region Road Race. I am struggling up a hill that reaches a 20% grade. Despite the fact there is nobody else in the shot, I did not finish last.

Q said...

Guam! Yay! I lived there for 5 years and as anyone who's been there knows, it would be THE most dangerous place to ride a bike. Gridlock worse than NYC, suicidal drivers that routinely run red lights by 3 seconds or more, and roads made from crushed coral that get slicker than ice when it rains. Oh, and throngs of Japanese tourists.

CommieCanuck said...

a

01

Anonymous said...

Is it minimalist to buy someone's used pearl izumi cycling shorts? Because they're sold.

CommieCanuck said...

I really just wanted to post this picture of me in last Saturday's Capital Region Road Race. I am struggling up a hill that reaches a 20% grade.

My driveway has a 26% bump on it. That's why they call me the Canadian Fausto Coppi,

wishiwasmerckx said...

If you will allow me to wax philosophical on a forum better suited to fart jokes, two defining characteristics of "G-d" are omnipotence and omnipresence.

The internet is striving to make "G-ds" out of mere mortals by offering them near-omnipresence.

Shedding the earthly tether of material possessions is another step moving them closer to divinity.

Anonymous said...

I went to college with the DC minimalist guy featured in the article. There was no inkling back then he would go on to become a minimalist.

Anonymous said...

Did you see the part on the mnmlist FAQs where he says that he had six kids before his "change in philosophy" and then, referencing a pair of sandals as a comparison (I have no idea if he is serious) he says: "However, I have decided it would be most unethical for me to throw out my children, just because I now believe in downsizing. It was a tough decision, but I’m sticking by it." He brought 6 human beings into this world and then decided his "philosophy" changed!??!

Anonymous said...

is this still a bike blog?

no, I am serious. Is it?

Jefe said...

O.K. CC, I'm coming to race you up your driveway. Please have something better than Molsons at the finish.

Anonymous said...

A minimalist's best friend?
Lot's o' patchouli oil !

CommieCanuck said...

If you will allow me to wax philosophical on a forum better suited to fart jokes, two defining characteristics of "G-d" are omnipotence and omnipresence.

Pull my finger.

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 2:34pm,

No.

--RTMS

Anonymous said...

if only the UCI hadn't banned the EliptiGO, Sastre could have won the Tour this year.

Anonymous said...

if only the UCI hadn't banned the EliptiGO, Sastre could have won the Tour this year.

Anonymous said...

if only the UCI hadn't banned the EliptiGO, Sastre could have won the Tour this year.

Tom terrific said...

If I only knew the mnmlst was on Guam I could have went there rode my bike to the other side of the island and yelled "douchebag" and he probably would have heard me.

dux said...

I'm buying whole sections of thrift store goods to leave on street corners in williamsburgh to entice hipsters to take into their hovels for materialism worship....

Anonymous said...

Move on, this topic is played out.

Anonymous said...

No Baskets for the Electra! They've been recalled.

http://www.electrabike.com/recall.html

The first thing that loaded when I chaecked the site...ironic. But that is the purpose of BSNYC...

murphstahoe said...

Like Manhattan, San Francisco is one of those places where in many ways it's actually more difficult to own a car than not to own one. In this sense, bragging about being "car-free" in San Francisco is kind of like bragging about being "goose down parka-free" in Miami.

You don't spend much time in SF, eh?

murphstahoe said...

New strategy employed by Bike Thief on probation who cannot resist the lure of theft, and gets caught.

"How much for your bike lock. I'll pay for it."

http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/AltoVelo/message/24854

Jão said...

BSNYC,

Fair enough... Looks like I overreacted a bit. Guess it has something to do with the whole Stallone incident, you know.

bikesgonewild said...

...MNML CMNT...

Salty and Sore said...

Q-

No disrespect to your concerns, but you just described LA.

Anonymous Coward said...

@jimmynuetron - the answer to your last question is "wooosh"

@CC - wouldn't that make you the Fausto Copp-eh?

-k said...

Fantastic!!!

-k said...

Fantastic!!!

anonymous Coward said...

Oh and 100st

Anonymous said...

minimalism has its virtues, but when reading the reasoning behind this lifestyle as told by Sutton, I feel like no matter how few things these people own, they remain materialist in the sense that possessions of any quantity defines them. Sutton writes that when he looked in his closet at all his things he felt stress because he did not use them as much as he expected. but they are just things and it doesn't affect them either way. i feel that this 'stuff anxiety' comes from projecting yourself on things you own and feeling that they are a part of you. This is materialistic in my view.

LK said...

I'm not sure if my hard drive is half full or half empty...

The 39t is an improvement over the 42t. And the 10 is better than the 5,6,7,8 and 9. I like the 2nd water bottle, the shorts are better, and the clipless pedals, and the stiffer shoes.

I also appreciate that there are more women around.

I did chuck all the measuring devices off my bike. But I thought that was just going Cannibal.

We may end up here anyway:

http://www.snotr.com/video/750

Anonymous said...

"condense my life into 2 boxes and 2 bags"

That is interesting that he really does think his possessions are his life.

CAMPIONE CYCLES CALGARY said...

Too much minimalism!!!

Jesus' less successful competitor said...

Minimalism in all things.

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...how paradoxically palpable is the irony in this ???...

...the "new minimalism" is so fucking contrived as to be nothing but a glorification of materialism with new parameters...

...just fucking sayin'...

Chris said...

I love cycling but if I followed what these minimalists advocate I would get rid of my 30 piece tool kit and repair stand and spend $50 each month on repairs.

But I am proud of being self sufficient and being able to repair things without going to a bike shop every time.

And if I wanted to be truly minimalist I should just copy my dad: no cell phone, no ipod and checks email once a week.

Chris said...

Checked out the Electra site. What awful bikes. They even tell you that your riding position has been wrong for years. Really? Ride a 10 year old Cannondale F400 with upside down stem, slicks and XT. The drivel they write just pisses me right off.

red neckerson said...

aw fuck

me and ricky been minimalists and didnt even no it

we live in a trailer and go to the pubic libary for the bathrooms when we use it and the computer conrnections

if we needs a shower we go up to the truck stop at hazard and also pick up some condoms

ricky once talked about saving the earth by recycling condoms and i slaped the shit out of him

he kinda liked it

frilly said...

Yay Jefe!

I think we'd all agree that if you weren't DFL then its definitely a pass.

I am the bumpy engine said...

"My driveway has a 26% bump on it."

The minimalist I just ran over is a 5 percent grade, run one over everyday and your hill climbs will increase by 26%

I hear lance and landis train that way.

gregoryyy said...

I thought Michael's Industrial band was Revolting Cocks?

Whatever.I know this topic of minimalism well,makes a great side with my bowl of ramen (no seasoning).

Anonymous said...

Minimalism is like a diet and I'm sure it will be just as successful in curbing materialism as a diet is in reducing the desire to eat.

SmugSeattle said...

"The stuff you own ends up owning you."
-Tyler Durden

Anonymous said...

I saw a bike locked up thusly:
the fork/wheel combo was U-locked to a rack. If you could do 25 mile+ wheelies, you could easily own this bike.

bikesgonewild said...

..."I thought (george) Michael's Industrial band was Revolting Cocks?"...

...perhaps "revolving cocks" ???...

...i heard those 'public bathroom trysts' were like gay merry-go-rounds...

...in-out, off-on, bend forward & grab the brass (cock) ring...hey, now it's someone else's turn...

...(not that, i guess, there anything wrong w/ that, although right now...ewww...i'm disgusting even myself here !!!)...

Jefe said...

Thanks Frilly

Anonymous said...

I went through kelly's list of stuff. if I was the owner of such boring overpriced douchecessories I'd do the world a favor and opt for suicide in favor of minimalism.

Shaun said...

Great work today Snob! I got around to reading today's piece a little late because I had a late dinner. I had to wait for my wife to finish so I could use the fork.

D. Hawerchuk said...

top 120.... my normal finishing position in every race i've ever done.

get it??? "finishing position"

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/734939/dramatic_chipmunk_dropping_loads/

Anonymous said...

常常聽說很多男人大陸包二奶之後就不回台灣,
許多大老婆因為不敢大陸抓姦而整天以淚洗面!
其實大陸抓姦並非想像中困難;
現今很多徵信社都有大陸抓姦的服務,
因為台商家庭很多,大陸包二奶更成為常態性,
於是徵信社了解許多大老婆有大陸抓姦的需求,
紛紛在大陸各省設立分公司,提供專業大陸抓姦服務,
協助台商家庭解決大陸抓姦的包二奶問題!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

人家都說男人到大陸都會外遇包二奶
老婆淚眼說擔心他外遇
他了解老婆的擔心,只好用錢去彌補分離的缺憾
漸漸的,老婆的電話愈來愈少…
她說,她是怕自己太依賴
漸漸的,他知道其實是她有了外遇
於是,面對自己外遇的行為,他忽然覺得好過了些…

Anonymous said...

從來沒想過需要外遇蒐證
如果不是誤打誤撞的情形之下,我不會知道他的出軌....
鄰居因為治安問題,於是在大門口裝了攝影機,卻成了我外遇蒐證的工具。
那天我在家發現用過的保險套,我逼問他,
因為沒有事先外遇蒐證所以他打死不承認!
我想到鄰居安裝的監視器或許可以間接的外遇蒐證,調出影帶,
果真發現前兩天中午他帶女人回家!
這下他才無話可說;
沒想到沒有抓到小偷,鄰居的監視器反而成為我外遇蒐證的工具!

Anonymous said...

好友說懷疑老公外遇,於是我建議她從手機、發票、電腦中進行外遇調查
果不其然,從發票上的外遇調查行動上發現他們常去的溫泉旅店!
由於好友的求助,我和老公刻意製造在與對方在溫泉旅店巧遇的假象,
再由老公出面去好言相勸,也因此順利化解了可能的婚姻危機!
有所懷疑就要趕快進行外遇調查,不然事態可能會更加嚴重;
外遇調查真的需要技巧,後續解決更需要訣竅,
幸好朋友及時進行外遇調查與補救動作,成功化解了婚姻危機!

Anonymous said...

你打死不承認你的外遇,甚至出手打我,抓姦也要在床是嗎?
真的要抓姦在床你才肯承認自己的背叛?我想要抓姦
不僅僅是為了讓你啞口無言,抓姦也是為了要讓自己出一口氣!
我想要抓姦,我想要讓你知道,外遇不是沒有代價的!

Anonymous said...

從一開始她就知道,她只是一段婚外情
然而戰勝不了寂寞,所以即使是眾人不看好的婚外情
她還是寧願有個伴,即使自己變成婚外情中的角色。
剛開始她也是溫柔體貼的善盡婚外情的角色,
然而時間過去,她愈來愈不甘心這段感情只是婚外情
她開始想要更多,開始要求更多...

Anonymous said...

如果婚姻是一場賭注,讓婚前徵信協助您漂亮獲勝!
金玉其外敗絮其中的爛蘋果讓婚前徵信為您揭發,
舌燦蓮花滿口謊言的愛情騙子讓婚前徵信為您戳破,
四處留情喜好劈腿的花花公子讓婚前徵信協助您免於受騙;
婚前徵信,美滿婚姻的重要關鍵!

Anonymous said...

通姦是否應該除罪化?一直是眾人所關注的話題。
目前僅有少數國家認為通姦是犯罪的行為,
即使在台灣通姦是犯罪的行為,然而若伴侶不提告,
那麼旁人亦無法對其通姦行為有所制裁。
通姦真的除罪化,那麼合法婚姻的權益與意義何在?

Anonymous said...

他有了外遇!淑惠想要感情挽回
但是看看鏡子的自己,十幾年的婚姻生活讓她變成一個黃臉婆;
這樣的自己,感情挽回會有勝算嗎?
想當初老公也是擊退眾多追求者才娶到淑惠的,淑惠明白自己是美麗的,
她相信只要好好打扮自己,想要感情挽回絕對會成功!
擬訂好感情挽回的計畫,淑惠先上了美容院換了個時髦的新髮型,
跟姊妹滔上百貨公司買衣服化妝品,把自己打扮的漂漂亮亮!
最後不僅順利的感情挽回,夫妻間的感情甚至比以前更好!

Anonymous said...

老公的外遇讓我傷心欲絕,甚至還逼我離婚!
不得已之下,我想到尋求徵信的協助。
徵信專員體貼的聽完我的故事之後,
詢問我所希望的解決方式;
不到一個禮拜,徵信專員就回報我相關訊息,
然後等到時機成熟,徵信專員還陪同我報警抓姦!
老公料不到我真的會抓姦,驚訝不已,
此時,我竟有種報復的快感...
還好我有尋求徵信的協助,不然傻傻的被外遇所傷還不懂反擊!

Anonymous said...

徵信協會為您解決各種徵信困擾,
徵信協會集結合優質徵信業者,以提升徵信市場為己任,
徵信協會提供法律諮詢、委託諮詢、糾紛排解等各項服務,
徵信協會監護市場、重視消費者權益,
徵信協會打擊不肖徵信業者,
任何徵信問題歡迎與我們徵信協會聯絡!

Anonymous said...

這麼久了,他過得好嗎?
這個問題在我心中多年縈繞不去,於是我找上徵信社協助我尋人。
我和他是大學同學,之後由於某些原因失去聯繫,
我把所知的資料全都給徵信社,希望徵信社能為我帶來好消息...
兩個禮拜之後,徵信社就幫我找到人了,很遺憾的是,他已經結婚了...
我不後悔找徵信社尋人,雖然難捨落寞,但是我還是很高興的知道他過的很幸福!

Anonymous said...

結婚、離婚、結婚又離婚...
陳經理喜孜孜的帶著他的新婚妻子參加公司聚餐
陳經理一直是身邊親友茶餘飯後的話題
這是他的第四任妻子
背叛似乎是總慣性
也似乎之於陳經理而言,離婚也能成為一種慣性
他總是因為外遇而離婚
一次又一次
當女人渴望名分,他就要求另外一個女人成全
他流連花叢,女人不因他的離婚紀錄而卻步
似乎卻總是認為自己能夠成為那個「特別的人」
結婚、離婚對他而言不具意義,只是一種手段
反正他總是能找到另一個傻女人

LK said...

I bet Blagojevich will be a minimalist very soon. With some artisanal bread and water. And maybe a visit from bikesgonewild...

...just saying...

bikesgonewild said...

...ouch, lk...

...& believe me, the visual rather than the verbal aspect of my comment is what disturbed me...

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't a minimalist ride a unicycle?


-Miles Archer

cyclotourist said...

Ah hell, am I the only one hear that doesn't read Chinese?

cyclotourist said...

M P
I E
N N
I G
M U
A I
L N

sarliaee said...

please keep the minimalist slander to a bare minimum.

Anonymous said...

Followed the EliptiGo link to their web site and watched the demo vid. Good grief, that contraption is like some kind of heart attack inducement device. In one scene it looked like the guy's heart was coming out of his neck.

Oh, its probably fun. You can spend a relaxing afternoon cruising along the beach with a heart rate of 235 BPM.

The EliptiGO would be hilarious as a fixie.

Bif

Chinese Translated by Google said...

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Many large wife arrested for adultery and not the mainland in tears all day long!
In fact, China was not as difficult to grasp evil;
China now has many hsiang grasping evil of the service,
Because many Taiwanese families in the mainland has become the norm of mistresses,
So hsiang know there are many great wife rape grasp the needs of the mainland,
Provinces have set up branches in mainland China, to provide professional services to mainland grasping evil,
Taiwanese families in the mainland to help solve the problem grasping evil of mistresses!

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Nogocyclist said...

@cyclotourist

I can not read Chinese, but I can use Google Translate to see what it says. Now all I need is an App to know what it is supposed to mean.

The junk that does not make any since in the previous comment is the translation of the first two posts that contained Chinese characters.

Ninja Rider said...

On my bike rides around the county, I see poor houses with a billion junk cars and other random sh*t strewn across the yard. Seems to be an inverse relationship between the amount of money they make and the propensity to put up a satellite dish, though.

ant1 said...

ant1st!

expat said...

According to a female friend of mine, the term "douche bag" is unpleasantly sexist. Dilbert has the answer; the new euphemism is "juice bag"

http://www.dilbert.com/2010-08-17/

Sea Ex Ex Aye Aye Aye said...

I don't mind if your posts stray from BICYCLE every now and then. Seriously, the naysayers should settle down. I'm just happy this blog is updated as frequently as it is. It's the only blog I read. I guess that makes me a minimalist, becau-- nah, nevermind.

Anonymous said...

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/SB10001424052748703866704575224283775143058-lMyQjAxMTAwMDAwNzEwNDcyWj.html

See link for Lee Child interview and description of "minimalist" lifestyle. Mentions minimalist appt for 1.5 million (and an additional appartment in same new york building to keep stuff).

Anonymous said...

i think you missed something. i consider myself minimalist and i'm poor as shit, but it's all right my hand me down phone does all a phone was every really intended to do, make calls and this shitty laptop is good enough to read this blog. i just want less stress.

Jack said...

I seems to be a minimalist, you have to "be" certain things.
1)White
2) Male
3)Well educated (or appear to be)
4) Twenty-something

If these guys ever get a serious girlfriend or actually get married, things will change rather quickly.

Anonymous said...

Haha, chinese spam on an english blog.

Please, no more minimalist coverage. Its almost too sad to be funny (and I didn't think that was possible)

I was literally on the verge of tears after the "I don't need an ipad"

graciela. said...

I think it's a good thing when people start thinking about commodities and whether they can go on without some of them. The issue with this whole minimalist thing is that it's just a fad in the series of fads that these "minimalists" jump on. I bet a few years ago they were all about excess but it's fashionable to be cheap so they're going with it.

I agree 100% with Moopheus' comment. These folks are still living in the lap of luxury and maybe they have fewer physical things that they have to house but they still have a pack rat house in their computers and iPads. Buying a book as a book or a file is still buying a book, no?

digitalist said...

I have replaced having a girlfriend with online porn.

poor dude said...

"I can imagine a future where sleep is a unnecessary luxury for the rich."

Don't rich people take cocaine to minimalize the need for sleep?

Anonymous said...

"Less is More"... sounds good to me! I don't have a problem with anyone attempting to make do with less. If you are going to own less things, what is wrong with wanting the few things you have to be nice, useful,even luxury items? Better then all the junk most people have. As far as the people saying things like 'what if everyone did that?", that is always a ridiculous question. What is everyone did ANYTHING? What if everyone decided to be a lawyer? Or paint their house white? What a boring world it would be! The very fact that most people don't do it, is what makes it possible.

Anonymous said...

很多男人包二奶就是因為看準天高皇帝遠、老婆難以發覺,
更遑論是大陸抓姦的困難度;
於是現在很多徵信社都提供大陸抓姦的服務,
希望藉由大陸抓姦幫助台商老婆鞏固權益,
大陸抓姦也可以給包二奶的男人警惕!
您是否擔心老公包二奶?
擔心大陸抓姦難以成功?
找對徵信社,大陸抓姦其實不困難!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

Anonymous said...

出軌的人往往否認到底,此時您需要外遇蒐證讓對方啞口無言!
合法徵信社全省都有據點,您有外遇蒐證需求嗎?
一通電話,我們提供全省外遇蒐證服務;
我們了解您的外遇蒐證問題的急切,
一旦接受委託馬上成立專案,迅速外遇蒐證給您完整鐵證!

Anonymous said...

好友說懷疑老公外遇,於是我建議她從手機、發票、電腦中進行外遇調查
果不其然,從發票上的外遇調查行動上發現他們常去的溫泉旅店!
由於好友的求助,我和老公刻意製造在與對方在溫泉旅店巧遇的假象,
再由老公出面去好言相勸,也因此順利化解了可能的婚姻危機!
有所懷疑就要趕快進行外遇調查,不然事態可能會更加嚴重;
外遇調查真的需要技巧,後續解決更需要訣竅,
幸好朋友及時進行外遇調查與補救動作,成功化解了婚姻危機!

Anonymous said...

因為她,你變得冷漠不已。曾經我也不想去抓姦
因為我還存有著絲絲希望你回頭,所以一直不願意抓姦
然而兩年過去,你以為我不敢抓姦而誇張甚至與她同居在外。
我真的不敢抓姦嗎?我只是不願意;我想,該是抓姦的時候了,
打開這扇門,是該面對現實的時候了...

Anonymous said...

他在工作上的自信讓她深深被吸引,他的追求更讓她沒半刻猶豫的說yes!
後來她才知道,她只是他的婚外情
即使如此,她還是愛他,因為他告訴她,婚外情只是短暫的,不久的將來,他會離婚!
就這樣,她甘於婚外情的第三者角色,癡癡盼望著男人會離婚。
然而幾年過去,男人找到了另外更年輕貌美的女人,
展開了他另一段美麗的婚外情
而她這段過去式婚外情的心酸,卻連向別人抱怨的資格都沒有...

Anonymous said...

聰明的您面對愛情是否變的盲目?
婚前徵信幫助您鑑定對方!
想要步入婚姻的您是否有許多疑惑?
婚前徵信用真實證據告訴您答案!
愛情騙子如此之多,不要成為下一個者,
婚前徵信為您揭開愛情騙子的假面具!
婚前徵信就像是掃描器,為您檢視出潛在性的問題!
婚姻是人生大事,您需要婚前徵信協助您深思熟慮!

Anonymous said...

通姦是一種慣性行為,如果沒有給予教訓,
那麼很可能會有第二次、第三次的通姦行為產生!
如果面對伴侶通姦,睜一隻眼閉一隻眼等於是默許伴侶通姦的推手!
想要解決通姦問題您需要及時行動,不要讓通姦問題持續困擾著您,
請讓我們給您最專業的協助!

Anonymous said...

她知道老公有了外遇,即使內心是想要感情挽回的,
但是擺脫不了受害者的角色,她動輒吵鬧、刻薄的言語...
這些與感情挽回背道而馳的動作讓老公原本愧疚的感覺逐漸消磨!
孩子也想要幫助媽媽感情挽回,但是媽媽總是以受害者自居,
想要感情挽回、但是內心與表現卻總是充滿憤怒!
最後,這段婚姻當然無法感情挽回,終究以離婚收場...

Anonymous said...

徵信公司是您解決問題的好夥伴,
不需要顯赫背景、不需要雄厚靠山,
一通電話,我們徵信專員就能提供您絕佳的徵信服務,
24小時不打烊的專業徵信服務,
外遇抓姦、離婚協助、婚前調查、工商徵信、尋人查址等各種疑難,
徵信都能提供快又迅速的專業服務!

Anonymous said...

合法徵信社,永續經營是我們徵信社的目標,
重視口碑、絕不馬虎辦案,
您的任何問題,讓我們徵信社為您解決,
專業徵信社重視您的權益與隱私,
以您的權益為優先、以您的考量為首要,
把您的問題交給誠信專業優質徵信社

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...

EB said...

I hadn't seen mnmlist, but as soon as you described it I suddenly guessed who must be writing it--and I was right. Thanks for the laugh.

Jessica said...

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