Friday, July 23, 2010

BSNYC "Summer Reese's" Announcement! (and Friday Fun Quiz!)

(Spotted in Paradise, CA by a reader.)

Firstly, I am pleased (for myself) to announce that I will be embarking upon a short "Summer Reese's." This Reese's will start as of the end of this post and continue through next week, until I return on Monday, August 2nd with regular updates. In the meantime, I will continue to update my Universal Sports Tour de France-themed webular blog, and if I have any other urgent news, insights, or complaints to relate to you I will do so by means of my "Twitter" social networking account.

Secondly, I've received a number of questions recently as to the availability (or lack thereof) of my book from a popular online South American river-themed retailer. As I mentioned not too long ago, due to the apparent popularity of the book (people seem to be buying large quantities and burning them in protest), both the retailer and my publisher have sold out of copies, and right now we are, as they say in the book publishing industry, "waiting for new copies to arrive." This should happen in the first week-ish of August, at which point they will be shipped to any booksellers who need or want them, such as the river-themed one. (I would do this myself, except that I can't afford an appropriately smug Metrofiets, and even if I could it would probably take me roughly nine years to complete the deliveries.) In the meantime, other retailers both online and traditional may still have copies, or I might recommend just reading the engrossing "Sweet Valley High" series of books for young adults instead.

Also, before I gas up the fan boat and hit the swamps of New Jersey for my vacation, I'll mention that the New York Times has published an article about New York City's new and evolving mountain bike trails:

I should point out that last week I criticized the local media for focusing on the more inane elements of the fixed-gear trend while ignoring the positive effect these new and legal mountain bike trails have had on the parks, and so I'd like to not only thank the New York Times for publishing this article but also pretend they read my post and take full credit for it. However, in keeping with my tradition of complaining about everything, I'd like to complain about some things contained in the following excerpt, since I ride at Cunningham Park often:

Firstly, I realize the New York Times style manual requires its reporters to assume that everybody in New York City lives either in downtown Manhattan or the Brooklyn brownstone belt, but the truth is getting to the trailhead at Cunningham Park is not hard at all if you live near Cunningham Park, which many thousands of people actually do. (Yes, New York Times, actual human beings do live east of the Van Wyck Expressway, and some of them even possess the education it requires to read your paper.) Anyway, this is less a complaint about the article than it is about the New York Times in general, and certainly Cunningham Park is not close to everybody (including me)--which is why I'll also point out that, if you're one of these people and need or want to reach it by public transportation, the Long Island Railroad is a good option and the trails are a pretty short ride from the station in Hollis. I'd also like to complain that, despite being one-way as the article points out, Cunningham does have its share of "trail salmon," who can often be seen riding shirtless on rickety bikes with pie plates. Lastly, it just so happens I was there the day the photographs in the article were taken, and this rider was wearing an All Hail the Black Market jersey:

The Times could have at least gotten it in focus.

Anyway, watch out for poison ivy.

I am now pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right then go buy yourself something nice and feel free to take a vacation yourself, and if you're wrong you'll see anime (crash) porn.

Thanks very much for reading, ride safe, and I'll see you on August 2nd.

--BSNYC/RTMS

cc: Vito the Monkey








1) What is Alberto Contador doing to Andy Schleck at the end of Stage 17?






2) During his Stage 15 victory salute, Thomas Voeckler exposed his:






3) According to Carlos Sastre, bicycle racing has become:






4) This is the start of:








5) According to ESPN, "Bike polo isn't really for the ____:"

--Timid
--Talented
--Feint of heart [sic]
--Mature






6) How much do "fixie" lessons cost in Amsterdam?







("For the hundredth time, I'm not Joe Mantegna!")

7) After being cut off by a cab while cycling in the bike lane and injuring his elbow, Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa made the following observations:





***Special Caption Contest-Themed Bonus Question***



The winning caption for this week's "Caption Contest" in The New Yorker was:


118 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yellow!

Anonymous said...

almost

Anonymous said...

podium? ce

jon said...

whoop!

Anonymous said...

Have a great va-cay!

Turd Ferguson said...

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

Top 10. Didn't read.

Perry said...

Top ten!

Anonymous said...

Top ten? Woot!

Only one wrong--the bike polo, so dignity remains intact.

Have a great recess Snobbie. Don't worry, we'll take care of the post-Tour wrap-up.

bikesgonewild said...

..."i could a' been a contenda"...

CommieCanuck said...

Hesjedal!

CommieCanuck said...

The winning caption for this week's "Caption Contest" in The New Yorker was:

"I'm not letting you do that to me until you can prove that this bed is a Mercedes C-class or better."

dcee604 said...

Go Canada!

Fingerbang Assistant said...

Where's the peloton? Was that the finish?

ervgopwr said...

CAVS FITH

Is the baby staying with Vito or are you taking him in the swamp boat?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

"Sastre's Playpen of agony" -from the other blog. Classic Snob- Well done sir.

hillbilly said...

"Which part of RACEcar don't you understand"

Anonymous said...

Online retailer Rio Salado?

LS said...

"Now I know why you were so eager to hook up with a greased tranny."

mikeweb said...

"Isn't this thing supposed to have a drive shaft?"

Enjoy the vacay and use plenty of sunblock.

Anonymous said...

Lee: That is just ill!

mikeweb said...

Sastre: "Whoever wants to make a polemic out of this can do it freely. I have fallen in this Tour, I fell during the Giro, I have had mechanical problems, and nobody ever waited for me. I think we are turning cycling into a baby’s playpen..."

Sartre: "We will freedom for freedom’s sake, in and through particular circumstances. And in thus willing freedom, we discover that it depends entirely upon the freedom of others and that the freedom of others depends upon our own."

I never knew Carlos was so philosophical.

ant1 said...

enjoy the time off snobby.

bikesgonewild said...

...nice...

...just saw that hottie cameron diaz at the side of today's race route...

...she was w/ some dweeby lookin' dude who walked like he had lifts in his shoes...

PawnShop said...

Contador gave Fat Andy such a withering glance during that sequence, I'd be surprised if he didn't offer to do a little finger-banging once they were off camera.

COME HTHR

curry goat said...

What, no mention of the deadly sheep attack on the Astana boys? That was the highlight of the stage

Anonymous said...

New Jersey does not want you either. Stay out of our water.

CommieCanuck said...

Tom Cruise was surely talking to Contador about the power of Dianetics and asking him if he saw any extra-terrestrials on le Tourmalet.

I heard Cruise is Armstrong's new lawyer.
"truth? ...you can't handle the truth".

I am the sleepy engine said...

The winning caption for this week's "Caption Contest" in The New Yorker was:

"My other bed is a three wheeled recumbant"

wishiwasmerckx said...

Schleck, Contador and Sastre all three used the word "polemic" while discussing this week's events. I HATE that word. That's a pretty heady pseudointellectual word for lowly bike racers. I think they may have meant "poledancing."

CommieCanuck said...

"What, no mention of the deadly sheep attack on the Astana boys? That was the highlight of the stage".

That whole attack was orchestrated down the mountain by Riis injecting the sheep with EPO. Then they replaced Alberto's chain grease with peanut butter at the start of the stage. That Bjarne, he's a wiley one.

Anonymous said...

a clean caption for the contact

"you're 47 and we've been married for 15 years, don't you think that its about time to move out of your parents house" I'll be here all week, try the veal.

ringcycles said...

"No, the bed is alright, but does your mother have to tuck you in before we turn off the light?"

Anonymous said...

caption:

So, this must be an automatic transmission?

bikesgonewild said...

...'jersey shore - bsnyc/rtms edition'...

..."watch the hilarious antics as bikesnob enjoys summer fun w/ the guidos...

...see eben bulk up w/ "the situation", get a spray tan w/ pauly d & do the double w/ snooky & jwoww...

...it's a summer laugh vacation from mtv"
...

g said...

"Don't mind the bed, but do you have to keep screaming 'Zoom-zoom!' the whole time?"

KIDS BEDS
CATC RASH

g said...

While I was hoping to podium on my birthday, I hope you have a nice break.

ant1, guess it's time to get the ol' BSEXPLANATION back up and running, eh?

Anonymous said...

i wonder what phil, bob and paul would have to say about the fair play in the anime bike race

ant1 said...

g - happy birthday. got any topics for the bsexplanation?

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday g!

Just a regular guy said...

"What an incredible guy!"

grog said...

Alas, your warning comes too late. My diktat is to fall into the poison ivy.

POIS NIVY
VACA TION
ALOF ABVE

leroy said...

If one recalls Sartre's observation that "Hell is other people," then Sastre's pic posing with pacifier is just his way of saying "Hell is udder people."

Ride safe all!

leroy said...

Happy Birthday g!

To answer your question from yesterday: "Palms or knuckles. Makes no difference. Can't read the tat if you're going blind or merely persisting until you need glasses."

3G said...

Have fun storming the castle!

I'd rather brake than be fixed said...

Caption winner.

http://www.surlybikes.com/uploaded_images/speed_hump_signs%5B1%5D-729630.jpg1

PIPE LATE

Anonymous said...

New Yorker contest caption - "OK, now it's my turn to be the daycare worker."

ben said...

if you mean by 'availability (or lack thereof) of my book from a popular online South American river-themed retailer' that one must be either rich or stupid (or lets get it out there: an all too common combination of both) to get one's hands on a copy then right on Snobby! I wanted to get a copy for my rich and stupid brother but was not willing to fork over the 97 dollars that was listed. 97 dollars? does it come with wednesday weed?

Anonymous said...

I've got a 'One Less Car-Bed' sticker on my regular bed headboard but I don't get that same idealistic renegade (ok, smug) feeling as I do commuting by bike because let's face it, there just aren't enough car-beds in the first place. ce

wishiwasmerckx said...

No 5:30 a.m. TdF coverage, then no Bikesnob? Oh, boy, Monday is going to be HELL.

A Contador said...

Play dirty to win, and fingerbang their culos.

Keith Hearn said...

39 seconds. Exactly what Contador gained in "chain-gate". Oh, boy. The pundits are going to have a field day.

"Guppy" Honaker said...

Enjoy your "Summer Reeses!" Looking forward to your return Aug 2nd.

copy: Alberto the Monkey

- David

Aloe Vera 101
Top 10 Reasons to Drink Aloe Vera
Holistic Health Info.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Today's time trial delivered an incredible sense of deja vu.

A tight race going into the final time trial. A challenger required to ride well above expectations. The challenger going smooth as silk. The yellow jersey thrashing around all over his machine.

This time, the outcome was different. Instead of LeMond beating Fignon, Contador held off Schleck.

Plus ca change?

Stranded said...

Speaking of how to get to where you ride. . . . I'd love to see a world with many fewer cars, if not a world with no cars at all, as much as the next guy, and I'm all for riding the bike instead of taking the car whenever feasible, but I remain dubious about the overall effect of bikes on cutting down the numbers of cars. For every cyclist riding to work, there's probably a cyclist driving his/her car to somewhere where it's safe to ride. Sigh.

leroy said...

That New Yorker caption should be "It's a ride, not a race."

Anonymous said...

外遇---偷來的時間、偷來的伴侶、偷來的愛情
或許新鮮刺激,或許瘋狂美好,但這一切,終究是偷來的…
外遇傷害了一個幸福的家庭
或許你會說:問題其實早已存在,外遇並不是傷害的唯一因素
但是內心深處其實你知道,這只是外遇的藉口!
建築在傷害別人之下所得到的愛情,終究難以幸福…

churchbacca said...

wow those three prior anon's are scary...

Anonymous said...

外遇---偷來的時間、偷來的伴侶、偷來的愛情
或許新鮮刺激,或許瘋狂美好,但這一切,終究是偷來的…
外遇傷害了一個幸福的家庭
或許你會說:問題其實早已存在,外遇並不是傷害的唯一因素
但是內心深處其實你知道,這只是外遇的藉口!
建築在傷害別人之下所得到的愛情,終究難以幸福…

Bod said...

Caption competition:
"Are you sure you son won't be back soon?"

Jim said...

>>>actual human beings do live east of the Van Wyck Expressway, and some of them even possess the education it requires to read your paper.)

Last time I checked the NYT (pronounced "nit," rhymes with "wit") worked out to roughly a 7th grade reading level. This jibes with what most of the country thinks of NYC'ers edyouckation level.

Anonymous said...

Hey all you NYC folks--Need some help for business. Have a snafue that needs resolved pronto.

Does anybody know & use a reliable courier service in the city? Not a bike messenger, a company that uses cargo vans.

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

*whew* All taken care of--now onto whats really important.

CON-TA-DOR! CON-TA-DOR! OLE'!

Astanashing!

bikesgonewild said...

...’berto contador & andy schleck just made an announcement today 8/26/10 on the cyclingnews website...

...just when we thought the "love fest" was over...

..."being ‘lunar twins’ we have decided to ‘come out’ on this full moon cycle to announce our intentions to live together in peaceful & joyous union...our love is too deep to hide...the drama of ‘le tour’ was hard on our relationship, so we think it’s best this way...we will, in time seek to adopt children...

...please judge us not but share our joy & love" – ac & as...

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...

leroy said...

BGW --

You better figure out how to tell Frilly that Al and Andy are retiring to Stockholm to develop a currency that dogs and cats can use. It'll break her heart.

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...

bikesgonewild said...

...well, leroy...

...if i'm reading it right, according to the asian writing posted, she's hired a ninja to 'nancy kerrigan' me & being thusly incapacitated, douse me in honey & roll me over an anthill...

...that, or i've got more chinese food coming in the mail...

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...

Dave said...

This is the first bsnyc post to use the word "paradise" twice. Although I've cycled to Paradise (Ca) on the pictured road many times, the town isn't quite paradisiacal, although another Sierra Nevada location is:
http://www.icyclist.blogspot.com

Anonymous Coward said...

Based on the Chinese spam's usage of ellipses, I'd say it's a safe bet they are fans of you BGW. No need to fear ninja retribution.

Anonymous said...

No worries, things aren't always what they seem. For years I thought Steven Cozza was gay because of his campaign for the inclusion of gays in the boy scouts. Then yesterday I read on VN that he's engaged to one of the podium girls from ToC & ToM. So, no need to panic at AS & AC's special friendship, they're just besties.

bgw, ya might want to sleep with one eye open anyway, although that has nothing to do with moi.

bikesgonewild said...

...although i haven't seen him in years, steven cozza's uncle, lane cozza is an old friend...

...number of years ago during the tour of california, a non-bikey type friend asked me if i'd been watching the race & if i'd noticed this cozza kid...said, well that's lane's nephew...kinda cool...

...@ anonymous coward...maybe so but i'm no friend of these idiots for illogically posting their crap on bsnyc/rtms when obviously less than .001% of the readership could ever "get" what they're posting...

...moronic to say the least...

Anonymous Coward said...

@BGW - Agreed

Anonymous said...

人家都說男人到大陸都會外遇包二奶
老婆淚眼說擔心他外遇
他了解老婆的擔心,只好用錢去彌補分離的缺憾
漸漸的,老婆的電話愈來愈少…
她說,她是怕自己太依賴
漸漸的,他知道其實是她有了外遇
於是,面對自己外遇的行為,他忽然覺得好過了些

Anonymous said...

人家都說男人到大陸都會外遇包二奶
老婆淚眼說擔心他外遇
他了解老婆的擔心,只好用錢去彌補分離的缺憾
漸漸的,老婆的電話愈來愈少…
她說,她是怕自己太依賴
漸漸的,他知道其實是她有了外遇
於是,面對自己外遇的行為,他忽然覺得好過了些…

Henna @ AboutDivorce Blog said...

cycliing is great fun, esp if you are doing it for a cause, i love cycling if the weather is just right with cool breeze making my hair fly, the pictures are very good

ant1 said...

ant100st!

ken e. said...

the other first!

and we're only half way through reese's... the dull bite of a RTMS-less reality!

Anonymous said...

Astanashing! Astanashing! Astanashing!

Have to get that out of my system cuz it sounds like I won't have reason to spew it forth much longer. And if AC and Fab C ride together next year, oh be still my heart!

Its dangerous business walking... said...

Off Topic: Have you ever posted about Iowa's RABRAI?? Or ridden it? I would LOVE to hear your take on the chaos. Slip & Slides down farmer's ditches, 12,000 people on bikes...10,000 of which should NOT be in lycra... But a week of lazy-river cycling? Except the people out there doing it with their carbon fibre racing wheels of course and the tri-guys with their sperm-helmets (who I happily cruised right past Merckx style...). Just seems like something you would have fun with/writing about.

Unknown said...

Frilly, what about Cultural Learnings of Astana for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan? Are you saying that a girl cannot live on Vino alone?

g said...

TOUR DONE
SNOB GONE
LONG WEEK

Anonymous said...

明知道他有婚姻,筱蝶還是陷進去了
他告訴筱蝶,不是不願意離婚
只是孩子還小,他不忍心孩子這麼小就面臨父母離婚的難題
他告訴筱蝶,他有多麼愛她
他多想馬上離婚光明正大和她在一起
他告訴筱蝶,她值得更好的人,但是他捨不得放手
只要給他兩年時間,他就會馬上離婚
多麼動聽的話,為了他的承諾,筱蝶甘心傻等
一心等對方離婚、一心想要成為他的太太
然而當兩年的時間過去了
男人還是沒有離婚
他淡淡的對筱蝶說:我配不上妳,所以我要放妳自由!

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Anonymous said...

Oh Jen, I do love me some Vino, but I gotta stay loyal to my first crush.

See Jefe, I didn't change horses after all. Just glad I didn't fork over the 30 something bucks for an Astana t-shirt. Or buy the kit. Jeezus, I'd be snob fodder for sure cuz I'd have to put that friggin' thing on e-Bay.

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ant1 said...

google chrome just told me that this page was in chinese (traditional han). would i like google to translate? let's find out what the spammers are saying.

ant1 said...

awesome, those spam messages are all about affairs and divorces. they must have been meant for marriagesnobnyc.

bikesgonewild said...

...& still, the chinese food keeps showing up at my door...

ant1 said...

your mistress might be trying to tell you something.

bikesgonewild said...

...can't fault a woman who's "hungry for more" an hour later...

...it's just a matter of trying to keep (it) up...

bikesgonewild said...

...great interview w/ bsnyc/rtms @ nyc velo...

...salient topics:..."NYCV: What bike do you ride these days?...

...Eben: A Pinarello Colnago Madone Dogma SL with 11-speed electronic Super Dura Ace Record Red, Mavic Y-Sys wheels, and a Fabian Cancellara signature limited edition Gruber Assist...

...NYCV: What’s next for you?...

...Eben: I try to live in the moment, but I’d like to start a professional cycling team with Michael Ball"
...

...bwahahaha, bsnyc/rtms...always palpin' the 'tude...awesome...glad you're enjoying your "summer reese's" w/ mommysnob & the snobulette......

ant1 said...

the gruber assist line is a classic.

Warren Zevon's Ghost said...

Chinese menu from Lee Ho Fook's,
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein.

bikesgonewild said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bikesgonewild said...

...chinese prostitute said my name translated into cantonese was 'long hung guy'...

...she asked "you give me big tip, white devil ???"...

...i said "all that & more, you lovely inscrutable china doll"...

...she said "me plenty screwable, long hung guy !!!"...

...i replied " 你是,寶貝,你是 (that you are, baby, that you are)" & i proceeded to rock her sampan...

Anonymous said...

It seems two top tubes deserve two disembodied hands. ce

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.rivbike.com/images/products/full/0000/3067/ahh61w_1.jpg&imgrefurl=http://sdbikecommuter.com/comments.php%3FDiscussionID%3D8%26page%3D4&usg=__EzzcoHcNrXxfw_Ocumv4wKwb5YA=&h=337&w=505&sz=132&hl=en&start=33&tbnid=JzhpNC_337y_RM:&tbnh=133&tbnw=200&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhomer%2Bhilsen%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26rlz%3D1T4ADRA_enAU365AU365%26biw%3D1899%26bih%3D803%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C241&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1058&vpy=525&dur=3451&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=168&ty=127&ei=Vf1STK3GIoaavAP3yqAZ&page=2&ndsp=36&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:33&biw=1899&bih=803

stovtop said...

http://www.durangoherald.com/sections/News/2010/07/30/Teens_suspects_for_fired_cannon/

This is link to a bizarre news report about a charity ride cyclist injured by 'particulates' fired from a cannon in a car operated by teenagers. When did you think you would see those words in one sentence?

ant1 said...

tour of colorado set for 2011

BGW's consort said...

"Love you long time, G.I."

Anonymous said...

BSNYC - you were quoted in a Slate article about Hollywood's contempt for the carless.

http://www.slate.com/id/2262214/

ant1 said...

babysnob is hellacute. but isn't he more of a bra inspector?

bikesgonewild said...

...spittin' image of the ol' man, i'd say...

...wide eye'd, a little 'spaced' & while enjoying it, a bit mystified by his own popularity...

...especially by the time he hit sf on that 'bra' tour...

aiden@ebay shopping said...

hi that is a great site keep it up!

Henna @ AboutCabinets Blog said...

great pictures, i seem bike riding is much fun and considered a good sport, its very healthy no doubt and with all the sportsman spirit it has been made into a great sport

Ron @ DubaiFunHolidays said...

great cycling pictures, i liked going through your post, good collection

Nathan said...

All I want to know is who the hell else reads this from Paradise, CA? I live there in a shack in the woods! RTMS in Paradise, CA!

Jefe said...

Thanks. My Chinese is improving.

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Unknown said...

Though this has absolutely nothing to do with this weeks ranting, I saw someting that I know would make you laugh (or cry). Late last Thursday and an Excelsior Minnesota waatering hole (near the very affluent Lake Minnetonka) a roadie wannabe strutted into the bar in full kit. And tennis shoes. The loser had time and ability to go to his car and lose his shoes, but thought we would all love to see him in his cycling glory at a bar...

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