BSNYC Frigedæg Blētsung Cunnian!

(My blog's value, forwarded by a reader. Time to cash in and retire to Portland.)

Recently, I heard from a reader who had ordered my book (that's "Bike Snob," and not my other book, "1,000 Delicious Sardine Recipes") from a popular online retailer. It seems he had not yet received the book, and wondered if I had perhaps somehow run afoul of this retailer. Incidentally, if you haven't figured out the retailer to whom I'm referring, it's the one whose name is also the first word in the title of a 1987 cinema classic:

I'm happy to report that this is not the case (at least as far as I know) and that the retailer and I are on good terms. In fact, what has happened is that, due to the fact that the book is a bit more popular than anticipated, both the retailer and my publisher have (as they say in book publishing) "run out of copies." This is what's called a "good problem," like being unable to fold your wallet because you have too much cash, or when attractive naked people keep falling on top of you at the beach (neither of which has ever happened to me).

Rest assured that my publisher is making more copies as I type this and that the aforementioned retailer (as well as other retailers that are out of stock, such as the one that shares a name with the last word in in the name of the organization "Doctors Without Borders") shall have more in the not-too-distant future. In the meantime, if you prefer not to wait yet enjoy purchasing books on the Internet, I understand you can get copies now from a certain bookseller that can be expressed in pictogram form thusly:

Or, you can order them from the esteemed independent Portland bookstore Powell's. Not only do they still have copies in stock, but these copies have been defaced by me since Powell's made me sign them all when I was there last Sunday:

(My book at Powell's.)

Otherwise, you can of course always simply visit your favorite local bookseller and see if they have any copies, though that might require putting on pants.

As for "1,000 Delicious Sardine Recipes," thanks to a profound lack of demand copies should be readily available anyplace books are sold, and I hear most retailers are even running a "Buy One, Get 40 Free" special.

Speaking of "sardine porn," I'm also a tremendous fan of "street sign porn." This refers to the exuberant displays of bicycular absurdity so often pole dancing on the signage of our nation's cities and towns, and I've been fortunate enough to receive some salacious examples of street sign porn from readers over the past few weeks. Just some of these include the always pleasing "capsized Vespa:"

(All You Haters Right My Vespa)

The ill-fitting "tarck" bike complete with "One Less Car" top tube pad and headtube-mounted beverage cozy:

(Sometimes, one more car is actually preferable.)

And of course the homemade locking grip:


Not only are sponge grips highly absorbent, but they are also cheap and come in a variety of "colorways."

In any case, as two days of "weekend porn" await your wildest fantasies, I'm pleased to present you with a quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see smugness gone horribly awry.

Thanks very much for reading, thanks for forwarding some of the "quiz porn" which follows, and, most importantly, ride safe this weekend.

--BSNYC/RTMS

(Tony Hayward thinks about yachting.)

1) In the wake of the BP disaster, the real tragedy may be:

--The long-term damage to the environment

--The long-term damage to the economy

--The long-term damage to the credibility of the current administration

--The protest songs

2) According to a study commissioned by schmutz-filled pretzel manufacturer Combos, the least "manly" city in the United States is:

--Portland

--New York City

--Denver

--Seattle

3) How can you support this bike messenger in San Francisco?

--Bring him a free burrito

--Make a documentary film about him

--Pay him to deliver something for you even though it would be far easier to send it by email

--Buy his spot on the line for the new iPhone

(Really, is that what you call it?)

4) Dainty racks are Messenger Bags 2.0.

--True
--False

(Fungal culture)

5) At last! Bike culture meets:

--Sneaker culture

--Wristwatch culture

--Horticulture

--RV culture

6) Which high-end crabon fribé road bicycle has been plagued by a rash of broken steerers?

--Trek's Madone

--Specialized's Tarmac

--Cannondale's Super Six

--Scattante's Scatman Crothers

7) Rock Racing's Michael Ball has been implicated in a:

--Doping investigation

--Sexual harassment suit
--Tax fraud suit

--Ménage à quatre

***Special Odd Reasoning-Themed Bonus Question***

("I sure hope someone left a bike for me.")

"Good news for the resurrected!" New York City ghost bikes can remain as long as they are:

--White

--In good condition

--Moved regularly in accordance with alternate-side parking rules

--Fixed-gears