(The Lone Wolf recedes into the distance, as photographed by a reader.)
As another week draws to a close and we embark upon the Memorial Day weekend I am also embarking upon a short leave of absence, during which I will be attending to matters of personal life "curation" well beyond the purview of this blog. This leave will commence as of the end of this post, and it will continue until Monday, June 7th, at which point I will return with regular updates.
During my absence, I would humbly point out that you can always read my book, the obviously-titled "Bike Snob," which is available wherever fine books are sold. (They keep my book next to the fine books so they look even finer.) Otherwise, by way of blogular webular sites, there is always Cycling Inquisition, All Hail the Black Market, or, for the ultimate in bawdy and ribald cycling blogs, The Erotic Misadventures of Mario Cipollini. Also, if I have anything pressing to share in the meantime (such as the publication of a Universal Sports Giro blog or the latest news in my helper monkey Vito's ongoing battle with head lice), I may do so by means of my Twitter social networking account.
I look forward to returning to this blog on June 7th, as well as to meeting some of you at my Book-Related Appearances (or BRAs) in a few weeks' time.
In the meantime, I'm pleased to present you with a short quiz. As always, study the item, think, and click on your answer. If you're right you'll know, and if you're wrong you'll see dangling keys and pretentious skidding.
Thanks very much for reading and ride safe. See you on June 7th.
--BSNYC/RTMS
1) Cockpits are Saddles 2.0.
--True
--False
4) Where are you most likely to find a "human fingerbang?"
***Special "Hipster" Behavioral-Themed Bonus Question***
What are these "hipsters" doing?
153 comments:
First!
much love from jerusalem
http://www.cyclejerusalem.org/
Top 10?
Top 3?
Just Missed
close to top ten?
Well, I'm showered up and changed into my street clothes... Anyone seen the peleton?
Top ten!!
top ten baby - thx early post
In the running!
Sadly, just top ten.
Top ten?!?
Missed the top 10...
But, did get a solid B on the quiz. Good weekend all. Ride safe.
Snob, what ever happened to sleeping in. You are posting earlier lately?
MORT ROLO
I think my chances of a perfect quiz score will improve to about 25% if the quiz is further shortened to a single question.
Does the early post and the extended leave of absence mean you are now loading up the Surley Big Dummy to take MommaSnob to the Hospital?
Congratulations. We don't mind at all if you just want to post pictures with no explanations at all. We know you will put them up for family and close friends anyway, so go ahead and include us in that group.
Putting on my best flannel jersey and going for a ride
Canadian Tuxedo replete with a plaid flannel cummerbund...
PLAI NTIF
Top something
Ouch - that Vilano made my taint scream.
RCTL PAIN
Once the baby comes all posts will be up at 3:00 a.m. and they will be extra cranky. Look for such topics as "Velo Colic" and "Is Pedalite Doping?"
To: Much love from Jerusalem
Shabbat Shalom.
Please recite a barucha for Snob's newborn son.
Have a great leave of absence, Snob! In the interim--the Bad Lawyer Blawg will continue with daily raving, typos, illogic, and the occasional-rare cycling-related forensic drivel.
Early post and short quiz? Is Vito eager to start vacation week, or did Mrs. Snob start counting contraction? (as opposed to the usual counting conjunctions)
So, Frilly posts her new picture, and THE VERY SAME DAY, the tour of Missouri disappears from the race calendar.
Coincidence? I think not.
This is already being labelled "Nipplegate" in the halls of power in the capital building in Jefferson City.
Personally, I think there is more to this than meets the eye, if you catch my drift.
Put another way, I think that we have only seen half of the story, of you catch my drift.
The virtual bike ride in the "Wrong Answer Video" must be the bicycle version of the Driver's Ed Simulator they made us take in High School during the last century. In drivers ed, I remember coming into a parking lot doing 110mph and safely pulling into a parking lot. Pull up to to car behind you, punch it. It did not matter, at the end of the course everyone passed anyway.
In the WAV (wrong answer video) the bike (with no rider???) rode down the road. There was a bike lane, but the rider rode right in the middle of the street and sometimes even did a salmon.
Is this NYC DOT's new "Bicycle" Rider's Education Video? Must be, from what I hear, many riders in NYC ride their bikes just like the guy in this game did.
I got an A+ today! You almost got me with the circle-jerk on the bonus question, though.
have a great break
Jefe:
If the race for the Podium moves to 3:00am EST, the likely winners will be the riders from OZ or if American, those who party at the park where this sign is located.
-wiwm
Hey I think your on to somthing.
All I know is I'll never look at those pink cycling socks the same way again.
wiwm--do not get me started on the ToM most likely being cancelled. It is a bunch of political bullshit and the governor should be ashamed. Its his personal grudge against the lt. governor. Nothing more. So the state is going to lose $38 million because of this egomaniacs power trip. Idiot.
There is a grassroots effort to try & salvage. If interested, tourofmissouri.com or mobikefed.org. Thanks.
And if I should ever take the top step of the podium again, I may consider telling the other half of the story. Had to laugh when you said you were speechless.
You and I have met before.
In the magic of cyberspace!
leaving this dude above wide open for a "duck people" joke... but seriously with the handlebar thing, WTF?
MEGA PUSS
Aced the quiz... too easy... prob snob is solo-circle-jerking in excitement of being a papa and going on leave...
My first perfect score in a long time.
I compete better clean. The quiz answers CommieCanuck sold me in 2006 turned out to be for an 8th grade biology exam. Oddly, half of them worked just fine for the BSNYC quiz.
Ride safe all and happy life curation!
Judge Judy would plotz if she knew what I paid for my recumbent.
Oh, and Happy Baby, Snob!
Hope all goes smoothly.
Can't wait to see Snoblet decked out in a Seal of Disapproval onesie.
The knuckle tattoo party video has been removed by the user. That was quick. I guess they couldn't stand having whatever they were doing exposed to ridicule. But then, why did they ever post it on youtube?
top 50!
Enjoy your short hiatus. I'll have to see if I can obtain a copy of the book at one of the local book retailers.
Can we assume that if it's a boy the LOA will be extended for the Bris?
Dear Pony,
Please go away.
i used to go to fixed gear gallery every morning, for years, submit my bikes and all that. not recently now though; actually the thought sorta makes me cringe. snob you pointed it out a bit ago, they do post the dumbest bikes.
PAPA SNOB
RIDE NICE
That Vilano makes me dizzy, not only can you not tell which way is forward with that reversed micro-stemway, the gearway is less than a 1to 1, it's more work riding that horror than simply walking.... maybe that's the point..?
Happy cycling!!
5 for 5 baby!!! Anyone got the gist on "knuckle tattoo party"?
That Creed song on the computrainer game is painful, but the "Tuts My Barreh" karaoke is still the best.
Enjoy your time off. Good luck with the little one.
Rest in peace Arnold.
...then don't just go away, be quiet !!!...
Good luck with the new Baby Snob guys!
& remember, when it comes to childbirth and bicycle racing - "The drugs DO work!"
p.s. looks like your mrs. beat my mrs. to the Birth by about 2 weeks.
Maybe my mrs. can still compete for the KOM jersey though?
...the 'good news' about the blessing of little bikesnoblette coming into this world ???...
...he or she will have a mishpocha, hundreds & hundreds of concerned aunts & uncles inquiring about his or her health...
...that's gotta get momma & poppa bsnyc/rtms all ver clempt...
...the only 'bad news' about that is that we, the faithful readers are that multitude of aunts n' uncles !!!...
...that's gotta be disturbing...
...mazel tov...
...#3 is a real win/win situation...
...japanese dudes speaking japaneseways w/ japaneseways subtitles & lame "awesome theme music"...
...but the good news is the lyrics are in englishways...as if that mattered...
Snob to BGW:
"Keep your creepy-ass pedophile commentators the f&%k away from my Snoblette. Aunts and uncles,indeed!"
Listen up, Snobby! 3 things that are no longer funny: 1) your cockpit references (with the exception of your own personal lame ass gas pipe h-bars) 2) Portlanders (calling the whole cycling populous pretentious was perhaps the most mean-spirited thing you have posted, because it's not true) 3) The Lone Wolf
...bgw to anonymous 5:37pm...
...'go fuck yourself' for taking a fun comment & inserting your disgusting "take" on it...
...& if that's your form of humor, then 'go fuck yourself' again...
...does that give you a clear enough indication of what i think ???...
Anon 5:40,
You do realize that you are opining? I (for one) happen to find all three of the things you listed to be perpetual sources of sheer hilarity.
Leave of Absence! WTF? I guess re-reading your book will have to be my snobular methadone.
BGW, i am not sure whether your sense of humor ends at ridiculing your well-wishes or at being labeled a pedophile.
@Shaun (5:59):
I do too, and I live in Portland!
@Pony:
You're so utterly careful about what you put on the internet that you have a blogger profile with a picture of yourself and personal information. Just another self-centered beardo hipster asshat with too much time, too much of mom and dad's money, and an internet connection. Someone who likes to pretend that he's somehow special amongst a group of "individuals" who all look the same, act the same, and participate in the same mind-numbingly boring crap.
At least I can admit to being part of a faceless "different" crowd (no, I won't tell you which one, because I am apparently more careful than you).
/rant
My first 100%. Too easy this week.
Is Lone Wolf too short for the Lotus?
...anyone & i mean anyone can take as many shots or make fun of me as they like but the reality is that the snob is taking a break to be a part of his wife's birth giving process & i think there is something so fundamentally sacred about that whole concept that the fact that you're mentioning something so vile within this context, considering it is such a disgusting problem in our society, would mean that you need to take a serious step back & reexamine your priorities...
...tasteless comes to mind...
...attack me ???...i'm nonplussed even if i respond...
...attack the sanctity of something so beautiful & profound ???... you deserve what you get...
...just sayin'...
Anon 7:19,
Don't be absurd. Never has a bicycle been a more perfect fit for a human being. The Lone Wolf and the Ć¼ber-practical fixed-gear Lotus TT bike (UPFGLTTB)are one.
Go get 'em, BGW! Hear, hear!
And Snobby, welcome to parenthood -- it can be tough at times, but it's immensely rewarding. (A cliche, of course -- but cliches, like stereotypes, are real time-savers.)
Oh, and the thing earlier this week about the recumbent being fabricated from recycled helmet mirrors and beard hairs? As a member in good standing of the beard and helmet-mirror demographic, I just about fell over laughing. You're in fine form these days!
Whatever that 'hipster bonus question' video was, it was removed! BOO!
Someone out there can't take the bikesnob heat!
My apologies Shaun, LW is of course a ZenMaster. Love the Wolf!
Can someone explain to me why blogger/firefox is disallowing me to post using the name/url radio button?
You curated a baby? What sort of colorway? Fixie? Crabon? Brooks?
Anyway, get a good lock on it. I hear these things go for good money in Park Slope.
Better use Sheldon Brown's baby carrier! Get that baby a chance in cycling you never had!
really nice sharing thanks
basur hapi,
Silly me, here I was thinking that the links in your text would just lead to some annoying irrelevant advertising, but to my surprise I was directed to what looks like a Turkish manufacturer of haemorrhoid cream. I was most especially pleased to learn that this cream is 100% dogal urun.
I was just wondering however if this cream would effectively clear away the irritating globs that sometimes clog up my cassette to the point that they can be hanging out and interfere with the chain passing through. I don't want this occurrence slowing down my off road riding so I have tried various brushes but a simple cream would be much more pleasant.
Eagerly anticipating a reply,
ce
@ anon 5:40
populace.
Phew! I thought I had popped up on the Spell Check Robot's sensors for a moment there. Poor Anon 5:40, I shudder to think of the old school Dr Who B-grade sci-fi fate he has met at the hand of Spell Check Bot. Yes, I did catch a glimpse of this robot once and it actually does have just one hand, a human hand. The story goes that Spell Check Bots mad inventor killed his lover, the curator of an online dictionary, and through cybernetics grafted her hand onto his most beloved, Spell Check Bot. When powered up for the first time Spell Check Bot became aware that part of its name had been boorishly abbreviated to Bot and turned on its creator with the only weapon within reach, a red correction pen. Spell Check Bot now endlessly roams the earth, stopping only to top up its correction pen with the harvested blood of those who unwhittingley misspell in its path.
ce
Stupid hipsters cost me a clean sweep.
Congratulations on your new arrival Snobbers and love and best wishes to you and your family.
So, Dr. No starts off the contest to name Snob's baby after a bike term or product with the most-appropriate "Brooks," the plural of "Brooke," which will work best in the event of twins.
I was going to suggest "Felt," but BGW does have a point about the whole pedophilia thing, and I don't want to set him off again.
There is of course only one possible baby name:
FLAN DERS
I thought there was a gentlemen's agreement to let Frilly take the podium race from now on.
Really people, get it together.
And what's the deal with wearing a helmet and kid training indoors?
Uhhm, yeah, that would be "kit".
And what the hell, shameless self promotion related to the whole kid + bike meme. Keep your eyes open for one of these RTMS. Kids love you more if you buy them stuff.
Snob, don't let the family buy a bunch of junk clothes for BabySnob. Tell them they have to buy items Custom made for Baby Snob.
One life ends, another begins.
Goodbye, Dennis Hopper.
Welcome to the world, Baby Snob.
Starting FUND!!!
buy Rapha baby wear for baby snob, chamois diapers, Sidi baby shoes. stop
send relief money
stop
time is running out
stop
My first sweep, which is noteworthy because I like neither tests, nor cleaning.
Great Blog
greets from germany
http://www.zoll-fahrrad-versand.de/
Heard the good news!
Congrats on the baby, Snob! Congrats to Vito!!
Congrats Mr Snob!
(Your buddy Lance just told us)
...a new book is cool but a new bikesnobulette is way cool !!!...
...welcome to the world & best wishes, little one...
...props to what must be a tired mom n' dad...
http://blogs.crikey.com.au/culture-mulcher/2010/05/31/dachshund-u-n-a-sign-of-hope-for-dogs-and-mankind/
Snob, this convergence of Dachshunds must have far reaching consequences, beyond which we can comprehend.
well #90
congrats Mr & Mrs Snob.
Congratulations Snobby. Hope Little Snobby is/isn't the reincarnation of Dennis Hopper (depending whether you think that's a good or a bad outcome). It would make for good writing material.
Now available, a a new saddle that is sure to end up in photos on BSNYC.
No, this is a real reader commenting, not a spammer wasting everyone's time.
I wonder if Pony's boss is a reader of BSNYC/RTMS and someone in this video should have been at work?
Why was the video removed? There was really nothing wrong with it. The only other reason I can come up with is that someone was there with someone they were having an affair with or something like that.
Nice strategic LOA Snobby. It's likely I'll finally get around to buying your book this week.
http://vimeo.com/12005923
Hey, does anybody know where I can get a good price on some sneakers?
@Stampede, et al: Video removed because it was posted without knowledge or consent of the participants. That's all. It's not fun to discover your image has been foisted upon the cruel tubes of the internet without permission, and that's exactly what happened here. Bike Snob (Bikesnob? Snobby if you're nasty?) was merely the messenger. If anyone wants to continue believing that the vicious cruelty of some anonymous forum goons shamed that video away, by all means feel free.
A few points before I go, since arguing on the internet is like etc.:
1. Sorry to break your heart, but those knuckle tattoos weren't real, guys. Just some ridiculous fun at a birthday party.
2. To ranting Anonymous @May 28 6:51: Way off on all counts, but thanks for projecting!
3. Congratulations on the baby.
Sincerely,
a friend.
Congrats Snob aka former anonymous blogger. Will you be keeping your new arrival anonymous kind of like Micheal Jackson's kids? Ill try congratulating in person when you go on your tour!
=)
I'm currently trying to 'hang around' some biking blogs. Im doing a coast to coast bike ride to raise money for cancer research. If anyone is interested iv just set up my new blog
http://nevermindtheblazinglunatic.blogspot.com/
to cover the training, the actual event and the follow ups including how much we raised. I hope some of you will come and visit me soon! =)
i was camping, so i missed out on thursday's Frilly incident, so i'm proposing we start a "let Frilly win" movement. all next week, i will not comment until Frilly has, and i will chastise anyone who does. please help me out, cause when Frilly wins, we all win.
nogocyclist-
Thanks for sharing the mantis link.
I especially like this quote- "We guarantee to provide recumbent-like comfort levels, but on an upright"
I think I got a couple plastic leaf rakes out in the garage.
1964 TOUR D'ITALIA winner's Tandem? Where there tandem races in the 60s?
http://s1012.photobucket.com/albums/af245/photoAAA/bikes/?action=view¤t=396f4db2.pbw
RIP Dennis Hopper...I'm pouring some of my PBR tallboy out for you, homie.
http://tucson.craigslist.org/bik/1769585065.html
blah
The ass diagram for the manta saddle is almost as hypnotic as non-plussed reporter
http://tinyurl.com/3xakohe
Ok since I'm writing again, I'll post a little more frequently...but with shorter posts. Sorry, no hipster cyclists in Ottawa as far as I can tell - except the occasional import from Montreal.
http://visegripmikey.blogspot.com/2010/06/dropping-back-from-peloton.html
If you let me win I'll show you my....
....let's just say I won't let any man near me unless they have a condom and a machete.
Snob, congratulations on a son that must look just like your wife. He is too good looking otherwise.....
Coming soon in these comments, a correction on that shirt. He is the world famous Baby Snob after all.
Word is BabySnob is dropping. Hope the session goes down (smoothly).
I'm happy for you and MsSnob. Congrats.
Daddy Snob,
Here is the shirt that belongs on Baby Snob. You must take control and make sure the family standards are held up.
Baby Snob, correctly Dressed
My apologies if I am using the wrong name. If he has another name, please enlighten us. I will gladly call him by whatever name you wish.
How do I get youtube to come and film me cuttin some bar spinz? I've been calling and calling like crazy for them to come...i want to be on you tube!
Help!
Baby Snob in a shirt with a cute doggie for the ladies.
Nice work, Nogo!!
..."nice" is right, nogocyclist...
...bikesnobulette shall be graced w/ sartorial splendor due to your nimble fingers...
...mommysnob & snobdaddy must be looking forward to future family cycling adventures ..
You are commanded to watch this!
...wow...
...the pressure is on this kid !!!...
...snappy dresser, future winner of "le tour" (& hopefully "il giro" - the "cool" grand tour) & eventual president of the united states of america...
...bikesnobulette has a full plate before him & a stunningly brilliant future...
...he'll have to wear shades...
no go-
I found that ages ago! Imagine what your bum looks like,after 2 hours. Im guessing - window blinds!
HAIL CSZR
-P.P.
Please help me find the cyclist-hating owner of this car:
http://www.averyjenkins.com/?p=247
Zozo????
The producers of NYC Bike Month Montage (2010) included guest stars including Bike Snob NYC, but they give top billing to Zozo....
I am not a cussing man. I do not cuss. That being said, that leaves me with no ability to say what I think of this.
Just featured your blog on the Montague Folding Bikes' Blog: Check it out!
http://www.montaguebikes.com/folding-bikes-blog/2010/06/montague-bikes-trevor-maxwell-lyons/
Enjoyed your post as always. The Long Ranger looks like quite the catch....
Please help me find the cyclist-hating owner of this car
Trace it through the DMV, ask a Conn cop to do it.
Green doping in cycling:
here and
here and
here
I know it´s wednesday, but Jesus... my weed ain´t that strong
great baby snobbers!
great pix fix nogo!
MINI SNOB
Does Bike Snob REALLY have an @yahoo.com email address? Sweet craigslist find: "Bianchi mountain bike with street tires, grip shits, etc... - $200 (south philly)"
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/1769245544.html
GRIP SHITS
podium!
Congrats to Mr. & Mrs. Snob on their baby boy!
Also, excellent job Nogo on the appropriate onesie-ways.
If there was a podium race, I have arrived wet, smelly clothes and all.
Smelling the week old wet cycling clothes is the best part. And does anyone know where I can find some good sneakers?
The clothes may be wet & smelly, but the APPROVE logo made my day. Thanks, Nogo. And hearty congrats to the newly expanded Snob familyway.
BABY APRV
Rip Torn lost his mouth in the original Baby Snob photo. Here is Baby Snob with the corrected shirt/ onesies.
Bike Snob is the King, but consider checking this blog while he's out:
http://comocyco.blogspot.com
It's pretty darn funny. (but what do I know?)
Snob is not only having a baby on this leave of absence -- he's moonlighting on another popular internet web log: http://www.boingboing.net/2010/06/03/doping-in-cycling-no.html#comments
Anonymous @9:43pm 6/3/2010
He could not stay away from the addiction of writing on the Internet. He probably got his ironic intern Spenser to change the diapers, feed, and burp Baby Snob when he jotted off a quick entry to that other site.
Leave RTMS be. After all, the man's gotta work: Baby Snob needs a new pair o' shoes!
You see doubters, if we of the cycling elite cannot find other to join our noble quest - to promote the ecology, health benefits, shaved leg goodness and importantly, fun - of cycling ....WE WILL START BREEDING OUR OWN!
Gee, all this internet and simply no where to get good sneakers...
Cyclegoddess, and Jen.
What is it about shoes and sneakers?
I know Daddy Snob and Momma Snob are looking for that perfect pair.
Something like these will have to do?
BS - guest posting at BB? For shame - they're a group of true snobs. Don't believe me? Make a snarky post that runs counter to the mantra - all of a sudden your account doesn't work.
...hello...i like your blog...it is cool...
...i have some sneakers to sell (but i'm too lazy to use craigslist)...
...i have one full pair (size 9 1/2 or 43.50) & one left sneaker (size 11)...don't ask (well, ok,it was the fucking dog's fault)...
...the full pair are nicely 'broken in' & thus immediately comfortable if not slightly pronated...i will include a pair of 'odoreaters', (so they aren't seized by the u.s.postal service as chemical weapons)...
...the left (size 11) is really classy & would work as a right in a pinch but prob'ly wouldn't be real comfortable (hey, truth in advertising)...
...lemme know if anyone's interested 'cuz if bsnyc/rtms or as he's becoming known, snoddaddy, is gonna be away for awhile, i got more shit i wanna unload...
...the blog is a wonderful communication device...
I'd hit it.
Oddball gets a p-far
The baby is cute! Future US president - ah snobby you KNOW that belongs your future DAUGHTER!( next time lucky ? :D)
The baby is cute! Future US president - ah snobby you KNOW that belongs your future DAUGHTER!( next time lucky ? :D)
Baby Snob says drink Just Coffee.
...kids on a role...
...sheesh, endorsement deals before he can even say "goo-goo" or (lady) "ga-ga"...
...he's still too young to be just sayin'...
bikesgonewild:
I used the logo of the coffee company for my newest onesie for Baby Snob. The endorsement is my way of showing where I stole the graphic design from. Putting it up that way, there is no way to include a link to the coffee company to acknowledge where I got the design from.
Check the onesie out. This is actually my personal favorite.
That is just amazing. Now all she needs are some matching Cycling Jerseys
Cycling Jerseys,
I do like that "Don't run me over" Jersey.
Back when I was able to ride, I would have loved to had one.
Fuck me in the goat ass!
bike snob you suck. for the last week i have nothing to read during my lunch break. atleast have your semiliterate helper monkey Vito post stuff, my fucking god...
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go usa!
............Nice..^_^v................
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